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Editorial
by Sabrina of Seriously Natural
I am a big believer of learning from your mistakes. I feel the best way to keep from repeating mistakes is owning them and then moving on. I did not have many Natural hair mistakes in 2013 but the ones I had were doosies worth mentioning and I am vowing to never do them again. Learn from your mistakes so that you may not repeat them, right? Right!
Trimming hair with any old scissors lying around the house
Blasphemy, I know, but I am admitting I would grab whatever I could find and that was usually what my son was using for his for school projects or what I kept in the kitchen. BIG MISTAKE and an even bigger mistake is to keep quiet and assume all scissors are the same.
The right scissors are key to a great curly cut. Scissors made for fabric or paper won’t give hair a precise cut. In fact, these and other inferior scissors can actually fray the ends because they tend to be duller than hairdressing scissors. Dull scissors will make a gnawing or grinding sound when you cut and can require that you cut your curls a couple of times to get through the hair because they will latch and pull. curly girl, the Handbook
Using the proper tools for your hair matters. Even though I knew this, I wasn’t using that logic and suffered as a result with frayed or raggedy ends. I broke down and headed over to Sally’s and spent about $30 on a good pair of shears. I used a 15% coupon so the price would not make me keel over.
Trimming hair when wet
“With curly hair, the curl range is much higher from wet to dry,” explained Ana, meaning the difference between how the curls lay wet versus how they lay dry is so vast. But when hair is wet, Arturo told us, “you’re stretching the hair and you’re cutting it all to one length. And when the curls find their way in to their own pattern, some curls are curlier than others.” The result? An uneven, imprecise cut.http://www.huffingtonpost.com
Lorraine Massey stresses this in her book, Curly girl: The Handbook as well; so this is not anything new or unheard of. If a stylist cannot cut your hair while dry, find another! I now place my hair in twists and cut after it has completely dried. I’ve been seeing much better ends and hair this way.
Wetting my hair without adding anything
Stupid, stupid, STUPID!!! I don’t know what crawled up my butt in early part of 2013 and told me I could do that but I regretted it the next time I got in the shower and tried to get through that mess! I must have read some article from a straight-haired woman because I just jumped in the shower, wet my hair thoroughly and got out like I was grown.
I was almost in tears as I fought (as gently as I could) through the tangles. I know I used an entire bottle of conditioner to get through my hair and I know I ripped many hairs out of my head that day. I ended up frustrated all because I was lazy or just plain gullible into believing I could do that and survive. All I can say is know your hair, your limitations and your reality. Conditioner is your friend!
I am a big believer in mistakes being gateways to learning. Nothing or no one is a waste of time if you learned something from it. Take my mistakes and laugh and learn. They are silly and downright stupid but I know they have made me wiser in the end.
What were your biggest Natural hair mistakes of 2013?
Sabrina is a freelance writer, full-time blogger at www.seriouslynatural.org and the owner of Seriously Natural Boutique where she creates beautiful clothing for Women of Color. She’s a lover of all things natural and her blog’s focus is on Natural hair, beauty and style. A mother of two teens, she became natural at 35 and has enjoyed documenting her journey on her blog while taking care of a family.
54 Responses
Being a product junkie
My biggest mistakes were texlaxing my beautiful shoulder length hair and having to start over again with a twa. Then after I finally got a few good inches of growth, I decided to get box braids to retain it and they pulled all my edges out! Even after I asked for them not to be braided. I look like Lebron James at the moment….my hair did not have a good year.
wetting hair with no products? i do that with no issues. i think something is wrong with my hair bc so many ppl keep talking about detangling, etc and I don’t have to. maybe mine isnt long enough yet.
I could wet my hair and go all the time when my hair was about 4 inches long….or at least, I thought I could. Once my hair got past the TWA phase, plain water just wouldn’t cut it anymore, and when I tried, my fro said “NOPE.”
Of course, you could just have hair that ONLY likes water….I remember a style icon on her like that….https://bglh-marketplace.com/2013/04/tabitha-3bc-natural-hair-style-icon/
here*
1) Protective styling too long = detangling nightmare
2) Dry detangling = breakage
3) Not babying my ends = less length retention
I will be sure to reverse these in 2014 so i can reach my BSL goal
1. Make my routine complicated. Simple seems best.
2. Buying every “hot” product out there. Cheaper products work best on my hair.
3. Not sealing my moisture. Just water and go.
4. Not washing my hair enough. Every two weeks wasn’t cutting it.
5. Not finger detangling (started using my fingers in September. My hair is growing. Yay me)
1. Not detangling for 5-6 weeks while wearing twists, braids. ugh!
2. Detangling IN THE SHOWER after not having detangled for 5-6 weeks.
3. Continuing to use products that contain panthenol. Though, I quickly learned my lesson!
Oh where do I start! My mistakes to date are: protein overload, (nearly 2 inches of breakage using aphogee)box braid extensions on an already fragile hairline, megatek, (protein overload)protective styles for two weeks or less, washing my hair loose… I have learned my lessons. Bring on 2014 🙂
My biggest hair mistake was wearing braids for an extended amount of time as a protective style but not detangling before I washed when I took them out. Complete mental lapse that resulted in me losing more hair when I finally did detangle because it got even more tangled and matted when I washed it PLUS I had to detangle my hair soaking wet! Completely defeated the purpose of the protective style! 🙁
My biggest mistake was when my white friend told me you should wash your hair everyday. I knew nothing about natural hair so I did it. BIG disaster!!!!
USING STORE PRODUCTS MARKETED TO NATURALS: Many of the products marketed to naturals have very dangerous toxins. LESSON LEARNED: Mix my own solutions using natural ingredients.
NOT UNDERSTANDING MY TEXTURE: I was looking straight-up cray in 2013 with my mismatch twistouts due to my multi-textured hair, and my denial that there was such a thing. LESSON LEARNED: Acceptance. I may have to tease the top of my head to match the bottom for a unified look.
WRITING 4-PAGE LETTERS ENCLOSED WITH A KISS OR DISS: LOL! Yes, my comments on BGLH in 2013 were looonggg. LESSON LEARNED: TBD
>> Happy New Year ladies!
The biggest mistake I made in 2013 (and throughout the course of my natural journey) was not getting a personal hair cut. I did my own chop almost 3 years ago and my own maintenance trims and stayed away from stylists because every natural I meant was very anti-salon, anti-stylists. I was in a rut and got a DevaCut in November and it made a huge difference!!!! I’m not trying to plug the DevaCut, but I went in thinking I was going to come out with 3″ gone and came out with 1″ cut. My stylish was great and I actually learned a few new things. I’d recommend doing a little research and getting one to anyone.
*professional
In the beginning my biggest mistakes were;
1.Not accepting shrinkage and still trying to use heat all the time to maintain length.
2. Not using naturally based products and still trying to use traditional ones
3. Making my hair care routine way toooooo complicated.
1. i bought “special” hair scissors from Superdrugs here in the UK, it’s by babyliss and it has a guard on it so i don’t accidentally pick it up and starting cutting up everything else with it.
2. I bought a SILK charmeuse pillowcase and will soon be buying a silk charmeuse bonnet. Why? i researched and found out “satin” isn’t a fabric but a finish (a kind of weave) and the “satin” bonnets and scarves found in stores are not some high quality material (£1.99 so what else was i expecting) but polyester and nylon, polyester is oleophilic, it absorbs oils and doesn’t let go of them easily, imagin your face rubbing against that and the spots you would get.
3. never protective style with anything other than a wig. everything else doesn’t work and pulls my edges. all i do now is cornrow my hair and plop a wig on in the morning and take it off at night, i can moisturise, deep condition, wash, condition my cornrows…life is easy.
4. this is something my scalp decided for me, i can no longer be a product junkie…. i am allergic to fragranced products, so i can’t just use anything right now my product lists consists of
ACV
2 Shampoos (normal and medicated)
1 conditioner
hydrolised oat protein
water (and sometimes glycerine
oil mix
coconut oil
there.
anything else is being given to friends when they visit.
of course now i’m acquiring a selection or really nice wigs and trying to fill it up with italian yaki textures or curls reminiscent of type 4 hair.
wish i’d done this sooner.
4. lastly, i’ve learnt that i should stick to what works, a year ago i had my hair in cornrows for 7 weeks under crochet braids (almost wig like), i retained length…but still went back to single braids and what not until 9 months. well better late than never. also moisture is apparently the secret to retaining length i’m still suprised at how such as small factor yields big changes, but i’m keeping at it and seeing length along with low manipulative, protective styles this is going to be a good year for my hair!
Well This is my third year being Natural so I’m not fully there yet. I do have a few. I’m only 18 so I can relate in some way since I have read some comments and experiences. I know what to do now. I do agree with once commenter about trying to achieve a style from a tutorial that does not work on your texture and buying products without knowing what to buy the best for your texture.
1) Trying to follow a tutorial you saw on youtube to make on your hair without the right products to make it like that. I realized I was manipulating it and not getting the definition.
2)Not keeping up with the moisturizing. I do this alot and I will admit I am lazy but somehow, I’m still new at this and until I can get a desired look, I won’t be lazy. Right now, I have in Havana twists.
3)Forgetting to see what the products contain before using it and I’m anxious when I want to try something so that’s about it.
My Top 5 biggest mistakes was.
5. Forgetting my edges because they are in styling and maintenance.
4. Moisturizing infrequently through dry seasons (autumn and winter)
3. Procrastinating on my trim.
2. Wearing buns/ponytails too often or as a protective styles knowing they are WORST protective hairstyle for me.
1. Relying to others definition what “normal healthy haircare” rather than what suits me.
I realize later this year most people advice couldn’t too me because they didn’t understand my hair growth is only 3 inches a year rather than the norm 6 inches. They also didn’t know that I live in a country where winters can get pretty frigid (damn -30ºC weather), or way I live or what my hair act like under different situations. I also realized most individuals eager to voice there opinions before they fully read the statement or request never account for sensitivities, I have eczema and when having a flare up I can’t handle Aloe Vera juice (and apparently that is not unheard of for people with eczema,psoriasis and contact dermatitis) and black soap cause mass flareup all over my body.
But there is one piece of advice I will be looking into that JC actually mentioned that might actually affecting my hair growth, which is get my thyroid check for hypothyroidism. I have looking on health sites about possible systems and notice at least 5 that relate to me.
I think I going to slowly wean myself off hair sites so that I can focus more on what works for me and less on advice “what your should be doing”, hair porn and the negativity of comment sections/bad news/”what your doing wrong” articles.
Peace.
silly smartphone
corrections
…forgetting my edges because they are short in my styling and maintenance.
…most peoples advice couldn’t relate to me…
…possible symptoms…
Weaning myself off of hair websites is one of my goals too.
Yea my biggest mistake was over trimming. It was as if I was possessed every time I washed my hair I felt the need to neaten up my ends. In the end I had to hide the scissors.
http://www.shop.kinksandall.com
My biggest mistake was buying a bunch of products that I ended up not using. I wasted so much money at the beginning.
In 2013 i learned that i need a protein spray for my hair and need to spray it in every other day or else my hair will shed tremendously. I have fine hair so protein is soooo important to add in my regimen and the aphogee green tea reconstructor my staple, and its pretty good!
1. I live in the UK not the US where your wonderful product selection is less than available unless imported. My biggest mistake is always waiting until the products in my cabinet have one good wash day left in them, going to my regular Dutch site to order more Qhemet or As I Am and finding out that they are out of stock.
2. Relying on non UK made products. I’m too scared to try UK ones as the ingredients are a lot more simple or often geared to curly heads. However, the shipping costs and inflated product prices irritate me no end not to mention the aforementioned words ‘out of stock.’ EU regulations have made it impossible for US companies to ship here so in 2014 I’m going to at least try British.
3. Doing things on more wet than damp hair. No idea how to measure damp and damn near dry so I often end up with brittle strands from applying product to wetter hair than I think I should. I wash in braids and they seem dry until unloosened to reveal near wet hair.
4. Product experimentation. I don’t know why I still search for the best deep conditioner when my hair says ‘eh’ and blows raspberries at every deep conditioner ever raved about or that I’ve ever tried. Still, I think I get a pass due to product availability. I just hate to have even the tiniest hair product graveyard, *pours some liquor for the Entwine Couture sample collection. Just horrible for my 4C. If I ever go to America, I am bringing a whole empty case. I’m becoming a smuggler or hair product trafficker. We need more Oyin Hair Dew.
5. Not sealing, hardly sealing because my hair seems to feel hard unless it is sealed with castor oil which I don’t always have in rotation. Also I must admit that daily moisturising and sealing are very boring but deadly necessary. This is certainly a big bad on my part.
6. Shampooing too much. Last winter I got an itchy flaky scalp and I had to use medicated shampoo. Since I felt guilty about not doing it twice a week as instructed, I shampooed every week for the past 3-4 months. My hair does not like it. I’m now not doing that but ugh I really hate shampoo apart from the rare clarifying kind. Shampoo makes my hair so much less manageable but my scalp is not here for cowashes at the moment.
On the plus side, I spent the whole of November and December in updos. At my short length, they are not glam but my hair definitely prefers updos in the colder weather.
Try britishcurlies or gidore. They have free shipping if you buy a certain amount!
I know both of these. BC never really stocked too many great brands for non curly hair and they got hit by the EU regulations so they now sell a lot of less than natural brands compared to when they first started. They have Shea Moisture but the British winter climate isn’t suited to glycerine heavy moisturisers. I used to buy my KBB there but it was discontinued both there and at nexrastore due to the new regs. I use Hair 9 and Gidore for As I Am CoWash and guess what? As I Am CoWash has been out of stock for around 5 months or more. They’re importing from the US which takes time I guess.
I assure you that Canada sucks more than Europe when it comes to product viarety and availability, especially where I live. Everything is so expensive too, so I feel your pain!
A mistake I made was trying a silicone product for a few weeks over the summer. I was using all natural products for over a year, but I wanted that extra slip and ease of detangling. Aussie moist caused me to have dull hair and scalp build up. The slip was unbelievable but so was the itchiness, and I don’t even use much product at all. What’s worse is that the conditioner would make my skin itch as it washed down my body. Once your body gets used to using natural products, those silicones and sulfates really don’t mix well. I switched back to all natural, though. So it wasn’t so bad. Another mistake I made was waiting too long to get a hair trim. I waited about 6 months, and it did more harm than good. I finally got it trimmed, and my hair has been great since. It’s okay to make mistakes, as long as you stay aware of how your hair is responding; you can correct the mistakes and learn something in the process.
I agree 100%. I have learned a long time ago that my hair responds negatively to anything not natural. It’s not worth the headache.
My mistake was not trimming since my big chop last january.
My ends are looking ham, but i dont want to cut my length 🙁
Cut it! Your hair will look so much better!!! Get it professionally done though. I waited too long to get a hair cut, and my ends were raggedy. I couldn’t even enjoy my hair because the ends made every style look off. Cut those ends and set your naps free.
Do it…
My biggest mistake this past year was that I went from January until literally the last week of December without a trim. I thought I was fine but when I started experiencing extra tangles and knotting with my coily ‘fro in November I thought maybe I’d finally reached a length where I’d have to give it up. 🙁 It didn’t occur to me that maybe the problem was that I hadn’t trimmed in so long. So I put my hair into small twists and snipped the end off each twist. Now I’ve entered 2014 with new life in my ‘fro…and a lesson learned. I was all set to stay in protective styles this year but now I’ve flipped the script…and I’ll be trimming every 12 weeks like clockwork. I’m not trying to win the length race; I just want healthy hair.
The other mistake I made this year was thinking I could do a coily ‘fro with just curl cream as my styler. Nope…these 4b coils ain’t about that 3c/4a life. It’s gotta be gel, otherwise just get out the pick with the black-fist handle and call it a day…
i started trimming on dry hair last year, and i must say that trimming was easier because I didnt have to fight with shrinkage since my hair was partly stretched. my biggest mistake was trimming too much. 2013 was the year of hair trims for my hair. no wonder my hair retained less length!
themanecaptain.blogspot.ca
I only made one mistake this year. I used an unripened avocado in my homemade conditioner. It took forever to wash out and I had to use shampoo. Other than that, my hair was perfect.
my biggest mistake was trying to keep up with conflicting hair care regimens.
My biggest mistake was allowing a woman to do my hair who I discovered had NO idea how to handle natural hair! As a result, my hair on one side is thinner in the back and I have to cut it. My hair is thick enough to disguise it, but I have just decided to do a big chop!
Sometimes we don’t know someone is full of crap until after they have messed us up. Just chalk it up as a lesson learned.
So true! I am still learning what to do and not do…year journey never ends. Have a HHJ!
My mistake is that I would follow and listen to naturals that didn’t have my hair texture. My experience is my experience and only I know my hair, so even if someone says don’t do this only do this. If it doesn’t work with my hair then that’s it. Another one was buying every natural product that claimed that it would do this that and the other to my hair. Now I have a cabinet full of products. Other than that I didn’t make too many mistakes.
My biggest mistake was using the quote natural products. They didn’t make my hair look better had to go way back to the old school products and my hair has never looked and felt better. This was costly but I know better now going forward.
My biggest mistake was getting my hair straightened…I had heat damage in several areas of my head & now some parts of my hair are shorter since cutting off the majority of the damage. If I do get my hair straightened again I’m going to a natural hair salon…a $25 price difference is nothing in comparison to msintaining the health of my hair.
Speaking from experience, if you do decide to go to a natural stylist, be sure she’s shown and proved (on other heads but yours) that she knows what she’s doing! They will say they can do hair (for the money it brings) but will eff your hair up too!
My biggiest mistake was not detangling properly. I was trying to exclusively finger detangle. Worked great for a few months but as my hair grew it was not happening. I know finger detangle as needed through out the week and the wide tooth comb comes out on wash day for a detailed detangling session. Much much better. The other was trying to go back to silicone based conditioners. Know I know why I let them go. Artificial moisture. That “slip” is a liar. Making you think your hair is silky and soft. Then it dries into a buildup nightmare. I ran quickly back to all natural. Ill still use silicone based products but super sparringly.
Girl, I am with you! Silicone are a liar and a thief! they will steal all of your moisture. LOL
Everything you say is true for me as well.
I find that finger detangling daily with grapeseed oil ONLY on dry hair works the best for me. My hair is so much more detangled come wash day. I wear a wash-and-go seven days a week, so keeping detangling and single-strand knots to a minimum is important to me.
I have also found that silicone conditioners are not the best for my hair. I was off them for a while, and I recently started again, and I do think that they contribute to build-up. Now, I use sparingly. It’s just not what I prefer to put into my hair on a weekly basis.
I’m with you. Silicones are not my friend and I steer clear of them. I also wear a wash and go most of the time so I make sure to use products that do not have cones or parabens.
My biggest mistake of being natural was thinking that my hair would be like the girls in the YouTube tutorials. Beating myself up wondering why my hair isn’t like theirs. Using the same products with crazy different results on my end. It just hurts no matter how many people go natural it’s always going to be my biggest insecurity just because the awkward feedback. It’s uncomfortable but I can’t give in.. I’ll learn to love it & then maybe everyone else will(:
I know what you mean. When girls say, just shake it out. I would shake it out until I had whip lash and my hair would hardly budge. I seriously thought that I had done something wrong with my hair cause my hair wouldn’t shake. I had coils and curls like them and it wouldn’t shake! WHY?! Then it would lay right I wanted the curls and coils to look like some of the naturals I saw on youtube or in natural adds and it wasn’t happening.Finally I gave it up and last week when I washed my hair I shook my head a bit ( not to get my hair to move, but I was trying to separate my curls with out my hands all in my head) and some of the coils and curls moved. SCORE! It still didn’t look like I wanted it to, but it was a start.
maybe you should change your attitude. Does good, healthy beautiful hair mean hair that can “shake out”? Maybe you should just look for it to look full, healthy, moisturized and shiny. To be soft and easy to comb, to not break and be able to retain length, to look decent when you style it. Many black women still have a long way to go, cause too many are still wishing they had hair they can “whip”, or that “lays” or that has a “defined curl”. Why not just appreciate the beauty you have, which all the woman who have what you’re looking for actually envy? Their hair “boring” and ordinary to them, OURS is cool and different. Lets appreciate that.
This journey is a very personal one. No two heads are the same and sometimes we can get caught up in what others are using and wanting their results. Loving your hair is all we can do and listen to it to determine what will work.
I experienced the same thing when I went natural. I first started back in like 2007 and the only YouTube tutorials really out were with 3C and tracee ellis ross type hair textures. I thought I could do the wash and go just like them. I tried everything from a “silkner” to naturalxer all trying to get that curly wash and go look. I was so insecure about my hair for a long time and didn’t think natural was for me….Until I found what worked for my hair and I felt beautiful in it. For me it was twist outs and rod sets and then eventually locs. Today I love how my hair looks and the versatility of it. From time to time I still get “big” hair envy from watching the tutorials but I am so much more comfortable in my hair!!!
Nice article. I wet my hair without adding any product and I don’t have any more tangles than I do when I used to add product before wetting. That being said, I do quickly finger detangle to remove shed hair, about 15 minutes of this, on dry hair before I get in the shower to wash, but that’s it. Everyone’s head is different, but I found removing the shed hair first works.
It would be so nice if there was on special way to do our hair and it would be gorgeous all the time. Some days my hair acts a fool no matter what I do!
or we could work to redefine our narrow definitions of what gorgeous hair is.