by
Domineque Michelle
A failed relationship never tempted me to chop off my thick, kinky tresses. In fact failed relationships allowed me to look deeper into myself and spend more time on my appearance, especially grooming my hair. For me, hair care is a necessity and a hobby, but for some women, cutting their hair can be a cleansing process or a way to heal after a bout of what seemed like never ending melancholy. But although emotional times never triggered an urge to take shears to my hair, bad hair days have had me sitting on the side of the tub in my bathroom thinking “Is it time for a change?” Read the check-list below to decide if chopping your hair is a good idea or something you may regret.
A cut is a great idea for change if
• Your hair is relaxed or heat damaged and you’re finding inspiring natural haired ladies at every corner.
Since there is no way to undo the chemical process of a relaxer or reverse severe heat damage, it’s a great idea embrace a change and go for something different.
• Your hair began to shed after the birth of your child.
The hormonal changes that arrive during and after pregnancy can leave some mothers feeling drained of beauty. Hair may begin to feel abnormally dry or brittle despite your grandest efforts to keep it moisturized, and might eventually snap off. Although there is no doubt that your young children need you at their side and must be well nurtured; it’s important for mothers’ to feel happy about themselves as well. Getting a trim or new cut can rid you of all signs of dull breaking hair and even give you a hot low maintenance look.
• You’ve been wanting a hair cut for months.
If you’ve been yearning for a new shorter do for some time, a change can still be scary, but it’s safe to say that you are prepared to handle it. It’s important to note that kinky and curly hair shrinks considerably when it is wet, so always take that into consideration when you’re planning for a cut. Also, instead of getting rid of a great deal of length at once, consider dividing the length you want to cut into 2 or 3 haircut sessions just to be sure that shorter hair is what you truly want.
No Don’t Do it, Please Don’t Do it: Reasons you should NOT do a big chop
• You saw a beautiful haircut on a celebrity.
Celebrities have access to an abundant array of stylists who can help them achieve any look they want, and all on a whim. Certain haircuts and styles are not easy to maintain on your own and it may leave you disappointed in how your hair looks after your first post-cut wash. When considering celebrity styles, think about all aspect of your haircut and decide if you’re willing to maintain the cost of your style at the salon.
• You’re admiring a haircut on someone who has a different hair type and face/body shape than yourself.
Every hair type can be styled and molded to become a better version of itself; but there is no cookie cutter style that will suit everyone. A haircut will never be 100% replicable, so take the aspects that you enjoy most about the cut and make it your own. This will ensure that you get an individual look that you suits your hair, face shape and body type.
• You had a bad experience with your hair.
It’s typical to have a day where you’ve used the same products and followed the same routine, but your hair is behaving badly! This is by no means enjoyable and for some it can truly be frustrating and perplexing. Don’t let a detangling session that lasted an hour or 5 too long frustrate you into making a change that you will regret when you become more calm, patient and relaxed. It takes only a moment to remove hair with shears but it can take years to grow back. If you have a friend with natural hair, maybe you both can trade hair help. Having a friend help is another set of eyes on your hair that may be able to help you see what your own eyes won’t allow you to. Take a deep breath, think clearly about what may have gone wrong, switch products if necessary and try to get to a place of homeostasis with your hair.
Have you ever cut your hair after a devastating time in your life? Did you regret it?
28 Responses
As untrue as it probably sounds and seems, there are those of us whose hair has a shelf life. When I’ve had enough messing in my hair, I get it cut off. I’be been this way since my late teens. I really should be the poster girl for “I am not my hair!”. The only time I was motivated by a “style” was in the 60’s when I begged my father to allow me to wear an Afro.
In my 65 years, I have yet to wear a wig, extensions or a weave. The only time I wore braids was as a child. I’ve chosen to be bald more times than I can remember. I was pregnant and I became hormonally frustrated, went to a barber shop, held up my mid back length pony tail and told the barber to cut it off. He saw me wave to my husband among the onlookers through the window and asked my husband to come in. The barber had just begun to ask my husband’s permission or some such. My husband grinned and quickly walked away. I made it plain to the barber that I called the shots for my hair. There are just times I choose not to have hair. It’s as simple as that.
In 2014, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. After my first couple of treatments, I told my family that I had no intention of allowing cancer to make me bald. I had a close family friend who’s an all things hair wizard to cut my hair while one of my daughters looked on. Just as she’d said, He couldn’t bring himself to put those clippers to my scalp and go for gold. I did end up completing the job with shaving cream and a plastic shaver. When it grew back, it was 4 different textures and very thin in spots. I let it grow out to a little longer than shoulder length and cut it off, because that was a bad crop. I did ask my oncologist if that’s what I should expect going forward. “Yep, what it is, is what it’s going to be.” Ooo…kay!
I sometimes can think better without hair. When I want hair, I let it grow out. When I’m sick of it, off it comes. To this day, I have yet to understand what people mean when they tell me I have a “pretty head”! What the hamsamidge does that mean?
I had one of those really bad hair days a few days ago. I was looking at all the beautiful tapered cuts and really missed my hair when I big chopped because I had a tapered look then. I had time to calm down and sure enough I used some different products and made my hair feel and look a lot better. Just when you want to give up is when you should plow forward!
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Loving this post!
But need another set of eyes can’t tell whether this is a behaving badly day or it really needs to go because it’s unhealthy (4c slightly stretched tangled like crazy)
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Mariame, u look gr8 withur hair short!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Halle Berry – I love her neat, short look – Beautiful whenever I see her. I like her signature look. Here’s mine. I Chose the side-part, cos it suits my oval face. My awesome male hair stylist/barber – women r always unsure about this part – did the designs and gave me the ‘usher’- esque fade cut which I love cos it really suits me. He also finished off the look with wax which I continue to do -to give the hair a stylish definition.
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I just love my hair tapered and short, I keep length on top. I always have my hair cut and shaped like this. The upkeep is simple and easy. I grew it out but always go back to this look. It’s working for me big time!!
Thanks for the input. I am interested in this:
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Talking about things you see on other people’s hair – sooo relevant in this day and age of hair blogs, tumblrs, instagrams, forums etc etc. I really want to do the long taper because detangling would take less time, I’d have an actual style, I like the look, I too am sick of this hair mess and have given up on fantasies of long 4c hair especially putting that above my own personal style. I have decided to give myself a few months before I take the leap. Many tapers also colour their hair and I am craving colour. My hair at the top doesn’t mind colour but the sides and very back are drier, a taper would mean no worries about dye. On the other hand I wonder, what if it’s even harder to style? Sigh.
Oh if this article had been available EXACTLY one month ago! Big chopped 9 months ago. Grew to 3 inches past shoulder. Got frustrated and big chopped again! Now back to TWA and regretting it.
I shaved all my hair off in February. I did this for two reasons:
1. (the main reason) I had dyed it the first time in a very long time last year (the last time [and first time] was back in 2000). After the plum hair colour faded out, I decided I would try to go black. Not only did my hair feel brittle, but the colour results came close to my natural hair colour (what was the point?!?!). I tried to bear with it, but after six months, I had it and started fresh.
2. I have actually wanted to shave my head off for the past few years because I never really knew how my hair is suppose to feel when it’s healthy. It was always easy for me to spot damage, but I never understood why my ends would poof up after I trim them. I didn’t want to keep hacking away, but I didn’t want to hold on to hair that was unhealthy, if it was unhealthy. Also, even though I’ve been natural since ’99, I never truly got a handle of how to properly take care of my hair. Starting from scratch enables me to gradually ease in to the care of long(er) hair, versus just dealing with it all of a sudden.
I actually rather like the way I look bald, and was tempted to stay bald, but I promised myself that I would post a weekly and monthly update of my hair growth (and I was and am still teaching myself to keep promises), so I let it grow. Right now it’s in Awkward Phase #1, and I’m having hair withdrawal, so I got a wig (that and I also like wigs). I post all my updates on Tumblr, but I’ll share pics of me bald and my current hair length.
http://humanchiapet.tumblr.com
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Woah… first time posting with pictures. Didn’t know that would happen, lol. Sorry about that. WIsh I could edit it :/
It never fails to amaze me how absolutely beautiful most women look with a twa. Natural Styles and Mariame, twa for sure! 🙂
Prefers booty length hair
I BC’d exactly a month ago & I absolutely love it! Prior to my BC I had a short relaxed Nia Long type of pixie cut. With the rate that my hair grows (especially in the back), I had to relax and cut my hair every 3-4 weeks for the style to look good. TOO much money & WAYYY too much time to be spending once a month on some daggone hair. AND I was living in constant fear of overprocessing. So I said forget it lol now I’m au naturale!
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This article is on point! I did the Big Chop 2 years ago and I loved my TWA and now it’s long and curly but I really really don’t like the fact of spending hours to detangle them. And I can’t be bothered to twist them every day! After a couple of hours they are back to a state that seems like I’ve never detangled them before… So tempted to cut them again!
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Rock the TWA! It looks great on you!
@Natural Hair Styles 101
I have been natural for over 13 years, and sometimes I just get fed up and need a change. You look gorgeous with the short hair. I might have to cop that style 🙂
Here’s a before and after pic as well! 🙂 [img]https://bglh-marketplace.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/TWA-Hair-Styles-1.JPG[/img]
Oh, I looooooove it! Now I want to cut my hair!
You look beautiful with short hair!!! I’m big chopping again on August 20th! Major heat damage.
I JUST CUT MY HAIR THIS FRIDAY! I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT! The first time that I big chopped I wasn’t as confident about wearing it out! I hid it under half wigs and weaves! Don’t get me wrong…I Still love weave, but after spending 3 years growing my hair out, I’m comfortable with how my hair coils and curls, and I’m ready to FIERCELY rock a TWA.
At this very moment, I’m in the process of uploading a video of my cut, but trust me the video does it no justice (since I did sleep on it for a few days and smash my beautiful comb coils into oblivion). Anywho, that’s neither here nor there, I really enjoyed this post and it actually affirms that my choice to do a 2nd BIG CHOP was the right thing to do. Great ADVICE, and check out my tapered TWA on YT (@NaturalHairStyles101) if you get the chance! 🙂
My hair has been stuck at APL for over a year and I got so frustrated I wanted to cut it all of but I wanna see how long it can be,my goal is WL and I’ll cut it short after that.
OMG! I love this! Because as I was just sitting and reading this Asian woman came in with THEEEE best angular bob and I want to go home and chop my hair off like hers! Okay so would have made the past 6 months pointless! This happens to me all the time! So when I get the urge to lop off my hair I buy a wig in the hairstyle I want or I just braid it up! RESIST the scissors!
I chose to get a haircut like the blogger Faintly Masculine after thinking it was dope, and growing tired of tending to my shoulder-length afro. I just can’t live and breathe this hair mess. My hair is 4c and hers is obviously looser, but besides flat-twisting the top of my head to stretch it and for pattern, no worries. I love it! I may even go shorter in the future…
I decided to Big Chop for a number of reasons (heat damage being one). One of the main reasons that I cut my hair is that I will be turning 40 soon, I was ready for a change!!
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Good for you! The cut suits you well.