by
Black Girl With Long Hair
Reader Jarquisha (pictured at left) says;
I have been an avid reader of BGLH since I began my transition in April 2009. I did my big chop on January 22, 2010 and today marks 11 months post-big chop and my 20th month on my natural journey. I have definitely been through some things while learning to properly care for my hair. Nearing my first year post-BC, I have encountered a problem that has slowly become a nuisance; I have begun to neglect my hair. I will go nearly 2 weeks without wanting to wash or style it. It is nearly 11 inches long and washing/styling is a tedious task that I’ve begun to avoid. Am I the only person that’s experienced this?
Lol, I doubt it! Has anyone else experienced this? As the inches keep coming does your hair become more and more hectic to deal with? How do you manage?!
76 Responses
I Love my hair and need some advice how to keep them softer for me to be able to comb them without out breaking.
Girl I am with you & I’m 9 mos pregnant…seriously considering a perm…yeah i said the “P” word…dammit…this is a mess…help….
When that mood hits me I never let it bother me I just realize its time for some braids. That gives me a 2 month break and at that point I can either re braid it or I will miss my curls soo much Im ready for them to come out and play.
Good luck and don’t let it bring you down.
Hi Jarquisha. I’ve been natural for about 2 1/2 years. My hair is I think 4a & 4b and maybe something else. Lol. I don’t do the deep condition where I sit under a dryer for 1/2 hour but I wash my hair in the shower, put conditioner on it, put a cap on and finish my shower. By the time I’m done, I rinse my hair. I use a Shamwow towel for my hair to dry it and I use various oils on my hair (such as jojoba to start) and a blend of oils that I use. Sometimes I will use Shea Moisture on my hair to maintain the curls and I will sleep w/a satin cap. In a day or so, I twist my hair. Since my hair has so much texture and body, I don’t have to add anything to my hair to hold my twists. I was doing 2 strand but I found on another site that referenced to three strand twists. I looked at three videos on YouTube and I FINALLY learned how to do them. I love them so that is what I will do from now on.
My hair is now about as long as it was relaxed but it does take a bit of time to do. (about 8 – 9 inches) For me, if I get tangles, it has to do with my shampoo and or conditioner. Ojon makes a really good conditioner. Sometimes I find that shampoos that I have been using can make my hair knot up. Ojon makes a conditioner that I put in my hair before I wash. It smells like coffee and I leave it in for at least 20 or 30 minutes but I’ve heard of people leaving it in overnight. It does good work. I have also had success with conditioners that have sucrose in them. Breaks down tangles very well.
I just tried a new (for me) shampoo and conditioner from the Body Shop. They are called Rainforest (Moisture). The products I chose are for dry hair. They have no sulfates, no silicone, no colorants and no parabens.
They smell AMAZING and they really did a good job
When everything works out right, I really don’t get many tangles. I try not to comb my hair and I am patient with it. If you do twists or you can get someone to do them for you, maybe that will help. Maybe you can barter with someone. They can do your hair and maybe you can barter a skill with them. Good luck!
I can relate to this too, i was in my 2 1/2 yr mark last spring when the hair in the back of my head grew past apl unexpectedly. It started taking forever to do and I got bored & tired so I cut like 6″ off. I want my hair back now and it grew a couple of inches.
I plan on doing protective styles even if they take forever the day of to do. I want to wear them for a couple of weeks, and then take the style down and wearing it loose for a week or two more. And also I recently started using my Denman brush again after about a year hiatus. A lot of naturals don’t like it but I think my hair does better with it. I have less tangles, less knots, less breakage and it shaves off a lot of my detangling time.
I feel that way right now! I should have washed my hair today and didn’t feel like it. I probably won’t feel like it tomorrow either. I’ve been natural for almost 3 years and as my hair grows the process becomes a little more involved. Not wanting to deal with hair comes with having it.
Hi Jarquisha! It does feel like a chore at times especially when you have so many other responsibilities. I started getting my hair done from a natural hair stylist. I realized that I like getting my hair done–it’s therapeutic and I don’t have to spend so much time and effort doing it myself.
I do however, wear protective styles roughly 1-2 weeks at a time. I then wear a twist out for a week and start the process all over again.
You should consider finding someone reputable to assist you with your hair on those days when you are not in the mood. I’m never in the mood to do my hair so I go every two weeks religiously.
My hair is growing nicely and my stylist has taught me so much about natural hair in general–it is an additional fee but to me it is priceless…
just my two cents…
Good Luck!!
I’m not sure where you’re getting your irnofmation, but great topic. I needs to spend some time learning much more or understanding more. Thanks for magnificent irnofmation I was looking for this info for my mission.
Hi Jarquisha and all of the other ladies posting here. I can definitely relate…when I needed a break (which has been for the last three months)I simply got a weave…which is my protective style, so I would suggest a protective style of your choice, just make sure whatever you choose is not too tight, which can lead to breakage.
It comes with the territory baby girl – I recently took my [4b and dense] hair out of 4 week old minibraids (no hair added) and measured my hair which I hadn’t done for a while. I had reached 11 inches!
Pleasant surprise but it also explained the long and tiring detangling session and the bigger ball of shed hair than I was accustomed to. Many people get tired of dealing with their hair as it gets longer. Choices: Loc, chop, or suck it up, lol. I’mma suck it up, I love my hair!
Try a long term protective style like braids – as long as they are installed with the health of your hair in mind (aren’t too tight at the hairline or too heavy for the strands if you’re adding hair) they will allow you to have a break from styling your hair for a while. Just make sure you are still cleansing your scalp, conditioning, and moisturising whilst they’re in. Blessings, pook.
“suck it up, lol. I’mma suck it up, I love my hair”
LOL agreed!
I do not think that your hair length martets vielIch think that’s a lot. I am african american and I’ve been bald 10 years, but I do not lose so much hair per Tag.Ich not think that’s normal.
I get like this sometimes. It seems as though the longer my hair gets, the most tedious it can be do it. It comes and goes but for me, it sucks more because I still don’t have a shower installed, only a (very pretty) clawfoot tub. Great for baths, no bueno for hair. I have to tile a wall before I put in the shower before I can wash my hair in the shower. So I dread hair washing a bit more now then I did before.
I applaud you ladies who put that kind of time, care and effort into long, loose natural hair. I know I have been there, but not for too long because I always intended to loc my hair. If that’s not for you, please find some inspiration in Sera2544’s Natural Hair Maintenance channel on Youtube. I think she’s a student in medical school (or was) and found a way to manage her hair the whole time.
Good luck!
This is why people get relaxers….15 years natural and I completely understand. I do braids, wigs, twists and now been pressing it for a change. Seriously considering a relaxer after all this time. TIRED. LOL.
Yes N, I understand! 11 years for me, and I’m considered it recently. But I think about the chemicals and I think “no!” I just keep my trusty flatiron.
I get what your saying but the chemicals, THE CHEMICALS!…lol. But now I understand when I see the natural women with super long (damn near waist length) hair most of the times it is either in locs or they “heat train” it by wearing it straight most of the time
I always have to remind myself that so many people are new to the natural hair journey. Not only have I been there, I’ve been there MANY, MANY times. What I did:
First time: BC’d
Second time: BC’d
Third time: Wore extensions, then two-strand twists with my own hair, then locked
Fourth time: BC’d
Fifth time: BC’d
Why did I BC so much? Because 1) the TWA really is the easiest no-fuss hairstyle for me whether I like it or not and 2) once I finally started taking my hair growth for granted, it wasn’t a huge big deal for me to BC. A distant 3) I don’t have anybody around me harping about how long hair is so much better, how I might look with short hair, etc.
You sound like you might not have much time for your hair right now, and that’s okay. You’ve gotten a lot of good advice. I have plenty of time I could spend on my hair, but I choose not to.
lol my eyes were drawn to the repeating BC.
I never big chopped but I did cut 6 inches off and go back to 8-10 inches which was managable.
Since discovering my lazy side with 4-8 week periods in braids. I may not chop again but if it became an issue, scissors are always an option.
got my answer lol.
I feel the same, I love my natural hair but I really don’t like spending ages on it, I have other things to do with my life !
So I’ve decided for this new year to just wear braids all the time, I think it’s the easiest, plus I want to retain length, and no matter how gentle I try to be, there is always a moment when I get pissed off while detangling, and I’ll yank the knots out.
So braids, for 3 to 4 weeks at a time. 1mits1 (on youtube) and her sister do that, and it seems like the easiest solution.
Oh, and you can wash with the braids in.
Happy New Year Everyone!
I like the comment that the Emory alum left I will try that regimen, with my hair and my nieces hair along with my Moptopmaven info. Another tool that I just learned about and started using is the Tangle Teezer (love it and so does my niece). It’s $10 at Sally’s you use water+leave-in+ sealer oil+Tangle Teezer= Happy Detangled Hair! If your wondering, yes you start at the ends and work your way up to detangle and it does work on different hair textures. I’ve only seen two videos on YouTube really Empressri and someone else my hair texture is not like Empressri but I was able to at least see how it works. No I’m not a product junkie because Empressri is (which is cool for me to watch her reviews on all her purchases )but I do believe this is a pretty cool detangler. Good luck with school!
I totally feel this post!!! Currently rocking a super tiny afro, after shaving my head for the summer. I can’t seem to make past the 2 1/2- 3 yrs mark. Maybe because i was in college at the time… I locked my hair twice in college combing out once and cutting off the second time. after combing the locks out my hair was even longer. I also lived in a place with a very small shower, yuck! It was so hard to do a serious wash and comb out with a foot of nappy hair in a dark, tiny stand up shower.
Now that i am older, and I have more patience and knowledge (and a larger bathroom) I totally think that I can handle it. I can’t wait until my hair gets long again.
I don’t regret any of my hair options though, it has helped me to see myself as a very beautiful girl who can rock practically anything. I also think it has helped my peers see that natural hair is really beautiful and there are a lot of options and styles etc.
And if all else fails… just do two cornrows or flat twist on opposite sides of the head… my fave long style that last for days
It’s funny that you mentioned that because I’m wearing two French braids now.
I’m kinda there right now. Not that I’m too tired of my hair, but I need to simplify my routine. Here’s what I do (sorry if someone already said something like this):
– get yourself the LaJay wig made by Vanessa, or whatever quick wig you feel comfortable with
– for my “out” hair, I two strand or french twist it at night, spraying liberally with water as I go, of course
– for my “in” hair, I keep it in braids
– once a week, I wash my hair in the twists/braids, then detangle and rebraid/twist with the kimmaytube leave-in
– whenever I don’t feel like the wig – which is often – I have different colored berets that I match to my outfits to cover my head with
What are french twist?
I have been feeling like this for the past two weeks! Today I just flat-ironed and braided my hair then pulled out one of my old wigs until I figured out what to do with my hair! I’m trying to prevent cutting, locking, or doing something that I will regret.
Girlll I feel you!! Like another poster said, I usually break down my wash time. I take out whatever protective style I have on one day, then I will detangle with my fingers and apply some VO5 conditioner (pre-poo) the next, put a shower cap on, and rock either a wig or a beanie, and then wash it the next day lol! It’s usually a week long affair, but it works for me, because like you I am also a student (a nursing student) and I work fulltime so I don’t have the time nor energy to do my hair in one sitting. And it gives me a chance to play with a wig or two 😉
I love the supportive comments I am reading here!
I have locs, and I don’t always feel like washing and tightening them every week. (For my hair to be optimal, I need to wash once a week.) Sometimes I will go 2-3 weeks without washing, because I don’t feel like taking the couple of hours to do the grooming. As long as I moisturize my hair every other day so it doesn’t get dry, regularly dispose of lint and flakes, and neaten up the edges with water from time to time, my hair is fine. I’d probably rock hats a LOT, if I didn’t have locs. 🙂
Praise God!!!…it feels great just knowing i’m not the only one who feels this way….I just put it in a protective style for at least two weeks and wait for wash days
Jarquisha, don’t worry about it. You’re not alone. There’ve been times when I’ve gone 4 weeks without washing. Sometimes even 6 weeks. Just rocking hairbands and scarves, ponytailing and bunning my twists. Sometimes you just can’t bother.
Since you say locs aren’t for you, then as long as your scalp isn’t feeling dry and itchy, and you’re not letting your hair get all matted (coz that is when the real detangle-HELL starts!), then you’ll be ok. Your hair is resilient. It’ll forgive you.
What I do nowadays is a break up the routine into smaller more manageable chunks. Roughly 30-45min each go.
One evening, I’ll take down the twists. The next few days, I’ll wear a twist out. Then when I’ve had enough of that, I’ll sit in the evening and detangle. The next few days I’ll bun my hair til I get around to washing it.
On wash evening, I would wash, DC, and do some chunky twists or bantu knots to stretch and dry my hair. The next day, I’m in a bun or loose pony tail and the next evening, I twist her back up.
I hope that helps. Your hair is not a Tamagochi, so don’t feel guilty if you just don’t have the time. Concentrate on your studies. But you know, if you’re sitting in your room, you can twist and read at the same time… 🙂
The time that it started to take me to complete a pre detangle, braid for shampoo, deep condition, detangle some more and then style was frustrating to say the least! I stretched with braids only to find it had to be done over after a week and a half at the most. I loved, loved the look and feel of my natural hair but between work, school, marriage and being a mother of another natural I did not have the time and patience. Please don’t stone me but I ended up texlaxing my hair and it seems to be working for me. I still have my coils but with way less tangles.
I actually texlaxed before going Natural, but treated it like a regular relaxer.
I’m still doing protective styles 90 percent of the time, I straightened it with heat only once since texlaxing (3 months ago)and I’ve limited myself to once every 6mos (or longer) to use heat. I plan on doing major stretches because when I texlaxed it was never about straight hair. Since I don’t like wearing wigs, I just wanted some ease with the tangles and something not so time consuming. For me, this helped retain length. But my hat goes off to anyone who does it the all natural way.
what is texlaxing?
I felt absolutely the same way. I was at 16 months post-relaxer and I hated doing my hair. It wasn’t short enough where I could do nothing and it wasn’t long enough for me to do puffs and cute protective styles. It sucked. Plus it’s my senior year of highschool and I didn’t want to have to deal with it every morning. So I just cut it all off again lol. And I plan to keep it that way for awhile. It might seem a little extreme but you may want to consider it.
My advice would be, don’t be afraid to wear hats, turbans, and even wigs. Sometimes you just need a break from the washing and detangling. It’s understandable.
This tool is a natural girls dream!! It will cut detangling time by at least half, a fourth for me. I swear!!
Wow I’d never seen that before now. I’ll have to find a video about it on youtube. How do you use it exactly?
Did you read all the 5 star reviews? It works!! You just start from the ends and it gently removes all tangles and just glides through your hair. I was/am amazed that it works so well on coily hair too. It doesn’t snag or anything. I rarely have any hair in the comb when I use it. It is amazing!
Does it work on tightly coiled hair without breaking it ?
YES!!!! My hair is tightly coiled and it doesn’t even snag my hair. It is truly miraculous. I wish I could video a demo but no camera.
I might try it then. I’ve also heard about the tangle teezer here in the UK, and some youtubers say it works wonders too.
When I get to the point that I want a break, I take one! Usually I will get my hair braided, or even opt for a weave- whatever will let me be relatively free from my hair for about four weeks. After that time, I miss my free strands. But at least I can go back to my regular routine unstressed and wanted to do the work 🙂
I feel the same way!! I absolutely hate detangling!! It really frustrates me. I think that part is the only part I hate about caring for my hair! Ugh!!
Hmmm. I’m wondering when I will start to dread wash day. My hair is around 8 to 9 inches but my strands are fine. I keep my hair very stretched and in a puff most of the time so detangling has yet to become aggravating.
I think my hair was easier to care for when it was longer and I could do protective styles with ease. I did a ‘mini-chop’ last month and figuring out how to manage shorter hair is much more difficult for me–probably because it’s the first time it’s been so short.
See that’s what I always thought. Longer hair=easier protective styling (although twists and braids would be more time consuming). I’d love to be able to bun and go.
That’s exactly how I feel. I can’t wait until my hair grows back!
I feel the same way. I have short hair now and I find it a pain even though I love my hair. With longer hair I know I can do the protective styles with ease and manage it better despite the time constraint with length but short hair to me is a total different ball game I’ am always checking and fussing to see if it is just perfect
While I have had the long hair blues, I could never neglect my hair, I am far too vain.
It is completely true that once you get past 6-8 inches, the time necessary to care for your hair increases hugely.
The solutions are
1. Protective styling (twists, braids for several weeks at a time)
2. Cut (shock, horror) your hair back to a length when management was easy
3. Loc your hair
Looks like option 3 is a re-occurring theme here, I’m really giving it some thought myself!
I am a wash and go girl all the way. I’ve been natural since 1999 when I was 25 but I’ve never let my loose hair grow long because I knew I didn’t want to spend the time on it. So for my natural journey I’ve always had locks or a short cut.
rethink that, locs also require maintenance.
then products specifically for locs, avoiding buildup,relocking , de-linting etc
i have shaved off my locs sometime ago and would only do it again if i had stlyist/loctician on speed dial to take care of them
Cut !!! Have you done that yet Jc ?
and another option is to consider leaving your conditioner in instead of rinsing out, and using it as a styling agent to individually define your curl a la single strand twists (finger coils). provided you can keep your curls intact, you’re looking at at least a week of wash and gos where if you have my hair, you don’t even have to do the washing part. you literally just wake up and go. the only downside is you can’t play with your hair too much or else it’ll get frizzy. but for a true low maintenance kinda girl, like mahoganycurls on youtube, it works like a charm and lasts for weeks!
Just like a lot of things, the love comes and goes 🙂
I make my time of hair care a time of pampering. I think of my hair as part of my self care — it’s not about the hair apart from my general upkeep. Maintaining this mindset helps me a lot. My hair is longer than it’s ever been and it’s thick and tightly coiled. Just to give you an idea, see below. That’s not the smallest coil.
[img]http://bglhonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/Small coil.JPG[/img]
Girl, I get those things all the time. I call them spiders. I hate them. They make me not want to even touch my hair. What is the diagnosis? What is the remedy?
I get those too… hair circles… usually means I need a trim and a protein treatment.
Is THAT what causes those coils? I thought that was just the natural curl pattern of my own hair because they are all over my head, bathroom floor, clothes, you name it (imagine all those little coils on the head attached. Outside I am smiling, but inside I am two seconds away from BCing again every morning). I have not had a real trim since I BCd in December 2009 and I need a really good protein treatment, conditioner to keep my hair from being so arid all the time. Dry and rough hair when it was relaxed led to breakage, and given all the growth I’ve experienced since going natural, I want to prevent that at all costs. Any advice? I’d appreciate it, thanks!
[img]http://bglhonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/Picture of me.JPG[/img]
It IS the coil pattern…at least in my experience. When my hair does NOT coil, I get worried then! Coiling means your hair is strong enough to maintain its natural pattern. The photo wasn’t breakage…it was a shed hair.
You may need a few deep treatments if your hair feels really dry. That makes a difference for me.
Shoot…
That’s my hair when it’s been freshly washed then dried. If it’s a stray piece and it’s been wet, it forms circles like that when it starts to dry. If you look at your finger and see how small a space that is, you’ll get an idea of how small a circle that is! That piece of hair is inches long.
That’s just what it do! 🙂 I admit, I do freak out if I notice my hair on the floor unexpectedly…lol…
I think time may be a part of the issue. I’m a full-time student at a very demanding university (Emory) and sometimes my hair is the last thing on my mind.
Yay Emory! I’m an alum (BBA 05) and loved my time there. Have you tried washing in braids? I basically follow a version of the never wet and loose routine and it makes it so much easier to deal with my hair. The night before I wash my hair, I apply deep conditioner and coconut oil to a section of hair, detangle and then braid it. I repeat all over my head (8-14 braids). The next day I wash it, then undo each braid and apply my products (leave-in, moisturizer, sealer). Let them dry overnight and then wear in a braidout or bun.
I forgot to add that you can do most of this routine while studying, since the time spent in shower is extremely short (like 10 mins to wash). That’s what I did when I was in grad school.
I’ve never thought to try that. Sounds like a great idea! Thanks!
This is exactly why I loc’d. I’m a low maintenance gal. I remember waking up some mornings thinking “dang! I gotta deal with this mess today!” Locs come with their share of trouble, but far less than when I was a loose natural. For the most part, its just get up and go now.
I’ve realized that my regime has to keep evolving. I use to condition/detangle in 4 sections, now I do 6. Use to take an hour to 2-strand twist, now it takes two. I’ve learned to accept it. A helpful thing is utilizing protective styles that you can leave in for like 2 weeks, like two-strand twists.
OOooh chile! I just wrote a post asking ppl if I should loc my hair b/c I’m TIRED OF IT!!! I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting easy/care-free hair. Free-strand natural hair is far from that (depending on hair type, length and style choices). As a woman who doesn’t wear weave and has about 9 inches of hair with 4b/c hair – I feel your pain! Not sure what advice to give, I’m still considering locs, lol – I probably won’t really go through with it though.
I have considered locking my hair for a while now, but the idea of committing to them scares me. Crazy, I know. I like the freedom of my hair… I just hate doing it sometimes.
I can definitely relate… Fingercombing has become a thing of the past and I haaaaate detangling. Ugh its definitely a chore that I put off until I cant anymore.
Sis, you are not alone I think we’ve all been there at one point and time. Have you tried protective styling, you can twist/braid with or without extensions to give yourself a break even if it’s just two weeks. I wear protective styles 90% of the time because it’s convenient and I want to retain length.
Hey! I actually do protective/simple styles all the time. But they never last more than a week without looking old. And I hate that. I’m not sure what I should do.
Maybe you should try an extension style like kinky twists. My hair has been getting on my nerves lately so I’m on month 2 of my one year break from styling my hair. I mean, for some it may be extreme but I know I can’t handle all of the maintenance being a college student. I love being natural but I don’t have to rock a “soul” all the time. Yuh know?
Good luck!!!
I’ve wanted to try that out, but I’d have to do them myself. No one else has touched my hair since I’ve been Natural. I’m too afraid of braid shops. Traction alopecia is too real.
every now and again i’ll get into those moods. When that happens, I get twists/braids and then i miss my hair like mad within a couple of weeks.
vonnie
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