by
Geniece
Recently, a post on the Son of Baldwin Facebook page addressed the issue of double standards and grooming/beauty practices within the African American community. A snippet of the post reads as follows:
We say that when black women relax/straighten their hair, color it something other than its natural color, or wear weaves and extensions, they are subsumed by white supremacy and are trying to escape the innate blackness the kink of their hair represents.
We don’t say that when black men wear wave caps to wave our hair…I offer that this is a double standard rooted in patriarchy and sexism…black men deem themselves the sole arbiters of what is or is not black for the expressed purpose of never having to be subject to critical analysis when their own behavior is hypocritical and problematic.
Now, I know some of you might be thinking, “Is this going to be a post pitting black women against black men?” No, it is not. I do, however, want to address an issue that is often glossed over in our discussions of beauty, race and gender.
First and foremost, this post highlights what I think is a pretty obvious double standard: The level of criticism leveled against women who choose to wear weaves or chemically process their hair is nearly non-existent for men who wear S-Curls and religiously keep their hair “lined up” in order to avoid unkempt (read: displaying natural coils and kinks) hair. There is nothing inherently wrong with these styling preferences among men. The problem arises when similar beauty practices made by women are labeled as “vain”, “materialistic” or indicative of “mental enslavement” to a European beauty aesthetic. Honest self-reflection within ourselves and towards each other should allow us to be critical but fair and observant yet balanced in how we comment on styling choices.
While the post by Son of Baldwin directly addresses the African American community and black men in particular, the double standards black women face are not unique to our community. Patriarchy, in all of its forms, knows no racial boundaries. You don’t need to be a Woman Studies major to know that across racial and ethnic lines women are subject to greater scrutiny and criticism about their physical appearance than their male counterparts. For black women, however, this scrutiny takes on particularly insidious forms that are rooted in deeply embedded historical and sociological issues. The unbalanced criticism is unfair to all women; but as black women who sometimes engage in beautification practices similar to brothers, it is baffling and sometimes hurtful that we are highlighted as if our choices are unique or anomalous. I’ve heard brothers criticize a woman for wearing a weave who would never mention anything critical to his male friend who uses chemicals to maintain his “waves”. Don’t get me wrong. I certainly don’t want men to begin criticizing their male friends but it is pretty disingenuous to scrutinize women while ignoring the obvious hypocrisy that exists simply due to gender.
Like many of you reading this, I wear my hair in its natural state, so I am not the source of this type of criticism regarding inauthenticity or “fakeness” in my hair practices. Still, I feel that for many women these are simply just beauty decisions. A woman can wear her hair relaxed and be self-assured, confident and comfortable in her blackness. I resent the notion that all sisters with weave or relaxed preferences are mentally enslaved as much as I resent the false notion that men who wear and S-curl are less masculine or vain.
In reflecting on this issue, I’ve decided that the next time I hear a brother criticize a sister solely for wearing a weave, I’ll inform him that just because I wear my hair naturally doesn’t mean that I’ll join in or validate his claims. Kindly and in love, I’ll ask him if he criticizes his brothers who have hair practices that are less that “natural”. In response, maybe he’ll brush me off or change the subject. But maybe, we’ll engage in a progressive conversation.
Do you believe that that a double standard exists for hair practices within the black community? Why do you think those double standards exist?
108 Responses
I remember a few years ago some guys at work telling me they go to the barber shop every week for a hair cut. I was shocked. How much hair can you grow in a week? You would never catch me in a salon every week even when I was relaxed. They said they had to or it does some funky weird curl. Another guy I work with doesn’t do this though. He gets his cut like every month and a half to two months. Grows a fro then cuts it low. Now in my mom’s side family like grandfather, uncles they start shaving their heads when they are older and going bald
Once a week is excessive IMO. My 14 yr old son has a similar pattern to your coworker – gets a fade, with a some length at the top, grows it to a fro, wears the fro for a while, then starts the process all over again by cutting it down to a fade again. He’s in the barber’s
chair about once a month or even sometimes he waits for 2 months if he’s feeling his fro.
Black women overall have always Unconditionally Loved black men but black men always think they have other options when it comes to black women. Putting down the darkest skin woolliest haired black women is an hobby for many black men.
I am a dark skinned biracial black women (Indian mother, Jamacian father) I am dating a dark skinned Jamaican man. I thought at first he was secure in his blackness… With time I realized that not to be the case. All of the women in his family have natural hair and wear it natural except for his twin sister who is natural but chooses to wear weaves and wigs. He bashes her for it constantly to me.
I thought he was secure because he loves dark skinned women (most of his friends only date light skinned women)… He later clarified that his preference is dark skinned ‘mixed’ women (Indian and Black). He constantly praises me for my ‘nice hair’. I told him “If you say it’s nice because its healthy… thank you.. but if you’re saying it’s nice because I have curls and not super kinky hair, I need you to stop saying it.” I then set him straight on how nice hair is healthy hair and proceed to show him pictures of beautiful 4b hair on this website. He got the message.
He is a joker… and because of this he still makes jokes about my ‘nice hair’ because he knows it bothers me and he makes jokes about how some black girls would be jealous of my nice hair. I continue to set him straight. He gets the message and says it’s just a joke. I realize though that the jokes are rooted in anti-nappy insecurities. I don’t hate him for it. I realize he is a product of his environment. I choose it as a tool to educate.
Geniece says in her post, “The level of criticism leveled against women who choose to wear weaves or chemically process their hair is nearly non-existent for men who wear S-Curls and religiously keep their hair “lined up” in order to avoid unkempt..”
I would like to add that in the 360 wave community a guys who use, “Texturizers” or, “S-curl products” are not taken serious.
She also says, “I’ve heard brothers criticize a woman for wearing a weave who would never mention anything critical to his male friend who uses chemicals to maintain his “waves”.”
I remain neutral to your argument about black men criticizing black women for wearing non- natural hair however, I have to mention that your use of the word wavy implies 360 waves. As influential as I am in the wave community, I can tell you that as whole the 360 wave community, which is roughly 98% black men, doesn’t accept the use of texturizers and are in fact critical on guys who use them.
I just wanted to share my thoughts on this subject.
I feel silly that I had NO IDEA that wave caps and all that were chemical hair relaxers! I honestly thought that’s how the guys’ hair looked naturally!
This issue really needs to be discussed. Its crazy because a lot of black men will bash natural women for rocking their natural locks but in reality we all have the same hair texture. He may just get his cut down in a low fade or s-curl, ect.
Maybe these are black men parading as black females trying to confuse someone, get your butts back on Media TakeOut to drool over white women and go back to trying to sign up for StormFront.
PROTECTING THE INSANITY.
PROTECTING YOUR OTHER GENDER OF RACE WITH THE SAME AGGRESSIVENESS LIKE A MAN SHOULD. THE ONLY REASON TYRONE DOES WANT YOU IS BECAUSE THEY THINK YOU ARE MIXED.
Tyrones: Fools with fades and jewelry who make cat calls on the street. Makes fun of hair and drools over pale latinas and white women. Only dates women who are shades lighter than him. He may wear a suit or call himself a pretty boy and wear gangster clothes. His eyes go >>>>>>>>>>>>>that way when he sees your natural unaltered hair state or when you take off your wig.
Sound like someone you know?
CHOPPING BLOCK. BYE BYE and put the herd follower protector women on the block as well. You all have to go. If you get mad then that’s you.
SO ANNOYING. THAT’S WHAT MEN ARE SUPPOSED TO DO NOT WOMEN.
DANG.
LOL why protect these people? Tyrone with the fade and glittery earrings is ugly, shallow with a bad ignorant personality who hates black people. UGLY. DeShawn is ugly with his fade screaming about the barber when little fuzzies start to grow and so on and so forth, did I mention he hates his hair which means he hates you. You can’t hate your hair and your features but want a black partner. LOL why protect him? That is so pathetic – hurling your bodies over Tyrone to stop the bullets from piercing his skin though he makes fun of you and makes Youtube videos laughing at your hair.
Black males don’t think they have “black girl” hair. That’s what they claim. Hide Tyrone all you want while he pokes holes in your back with a fork until you bleed. Just because he’s too scared, instead of harassing black women on the street about their hair bodies why don’t they go do they do white men on the sidewalk? Because they are scared and you know it, that’s why most black women feel the need to protect them in masses in a scary serious way though they won’t do the favor. Look on their sites, protecting them ain’t going to make them “wander back home to Mama early.”
“We done loved you all alone, come back.”
Only society will when they realize they are just a sex fad.
Give it up, call them out. Move on and find yourself a black person who loves themselves.
“I am so scared to go natural, will Tyrone love me no more?”
MOVE ON.
Exactly. Truth thank you.
Yeah , I gotta’ comment and say all the ladies on this thread were downright in denial and disrespectful to Anne. What the heck is that about? She insulted no one and is talking in a precise matter while some of the people who disagree are sling ad hominens, which means attack the person because you can not attack the argument.
Maybe everyone is used to blaming black women for the everyone’s problems. That’s some sexist stuff. Maybe these ladies don’t want to believe their sons and brothers collectively hate their hair and ALSO perpetuate this good hair nonsense on them – which is highly the case. not just us the black woman villains.
Like you don’t hear black men commenting on “what you should do to your hair” and like you SOME of ya’ll don’t pile on the gel to keep your hair from fluffing up too much to scare the ignorant BLACK men away. Maybe some of ya’ll brush your natural edges down with gel in a brush to look slick so it could look 2a. Maybe some of ya’ll cried real life tears when you first conditioned your hair because you saw you had curls and NOT what you call “bad hair”. Some of you went natural because you thought you had “good hair”.
Bottom line: Just because you’re natural doesn’t mean you’re exempt from still being screwed up about your hair. Black men generally have one millimeter of hair by choice and they sure don’t as heck love yours. The ones who love their hair and your hair, HAVE HAIR and are not scared to wear it ( a good inch or two of it). And I am not that ugly fade Akon wears. That’s damn near bald.
Why pretend any longer? It’s because they are protecting their sons and husbands and baby daddy’s. He can’t hate his hair , that means he hates how I am wearing it right now. All of you know, even the pretty black women know there are some black men who don’t want you, heck lots – who do not want you because your hair is nappy and you are black even if you are darn near perfect and then some. PERIOD. Stop shoving your faces in the sand. Protecting their ignorance on bad hair and good hair is not going to help us ladies any more and it won’t make the white woman and Latina (the pale ones not the afro or tan ones) lovers EVER COME BACK. LOL, stop wishing.
Is there a link on this site from MediaTakeOut because right now everyone sounds like that sort of crowd? I expected better, what disappointing commentaries on this site.
I mean why save Tyrone, if he’s willing to step on your back, face, butt and hair for someone else who he finds “superior”.
Disclaimer: Some black men love themselves and they own inch or two of hair on their head not an ugly fat looking like someone’s hair old knee. NOT sexy. That look has to go. How long has that bald dotty headed mess been out? Thirty years. Bye bye.
Honestly, I’m really appalled at how people responded to this. Most commenters weren’t constructive at all and just came on here to bash you because they don’t agree with your view. This entire thread is MAD disrespectful and I’m sorry for that Geniece. Not because I 100% agree with everything you said but because everyone deserves respect! Good Lord.
That being said, my only problem with this article is how it didn’t really explore the issues that black men face in more depth. With a little more research and empathy for their situation, I could see this article turning out way better. Still, I agree, there is a double standard which is largely because of the extreme focus on women’s looks because of sexism.
To the people saying wave caps are not the same as texturizers, yeah that’s true but I feel like when you say this, you don’t explore the spirit of the action but just the aesthetic.
To the people saying men used to wear s curls etc but don’t anymore: yeah that could be true, but remember the US isn’t the only place in the world. In Europe I’ve seen many black men straightening their hair (even when their girlfriends or sisters or mothers were natural). I’ve personally known men who texturized their hair, I’ve known seen the emphasis placed on soft “nice” hair in men. I’ve spoken to men that don’t grow their hair out because girls will bash them or their hair doesn’t have the right curl or because if they did they want to relax it because that would look so much better. What’s stopping them I think is what’s stopping many of our friends and brothers and cousins and significant others. Men hate the kink of their hair too. It’s not under the microscope but it’s there and I for one think it helps noone to pretend it doesn’t exist. It also doesn’t help to cast all the blame on women and their penchant for weaves because the media plays a humungous part in it and most people on this site are a testament that the tide is changing towards natural hair.
This was an interesting article Geniece, I just wish it had fostered some more constructive discussions than what occured.
Watch 1:27-1:36 of this clip. It is the mindset behind many black males with a “fade”.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kJsHQMO2JQ
Okay I think the author’s use of the s-curls to illustrate the double standard regarding hair in the black community is not the best example to get the point across or to engage productive dialogue. We cannot discuss the internalization of “good hair / bad hair,” among blacks without recognizing the significance of gender.
You are right. The S-Curl is not the best comparison. A black male would have to have hair to get it S-Curled. Most black males do not have hair. They either wear their hair cut so close to there scalp you can’t see the texture or bald (think Keven Hart, Kanye West, Jay-Z, J Cole, Tyler Perry, Ludacris, Seal, Michael Jordin, Kendrick Lamar, Chris Brown, P. Diddy, Wayne Brady, Idres Elba, Drake, Bow Wow, 50 Cent, Neyo, Tyson Beckford, Joey Bada$$, Ray J., Tiger Woods, Omari Hardwick, Boris Kodjoe, Laz Alonso, Shemar Moore and many others).
The author should made the comparison between girls getting a relaxer and black males cutting there hair to that bald or near-bald style. Shaving a black males hair off is the equivalent of a black female relaxing( only out of self-hate); they are both trying to get rid of something society perceives as a “problem”.
Why are so many women protecting black men and their insecurities? They put them on you on a daily basis; yet, like loyal puppies you still feel the need to protect them.
“This is a stretch”, blah blah blah. No. This isn’t a stretch. Many black men still hold a color complex when selecting partners as well as desiring long, “good” hair and near European features on them. So, why is it a stretch to think that many of them don’t think this way about their hair? Buried heads only suffocate you.
Although I do not liken men wearing caps to maintain their waves to women relaxing their hair, I do understand the point that this article is trying to make, and I think it is a good point!
Black me DO internalize the same negative feelings about kinky hair and apply that negative stereotype to themselves. In a sea of White men comfortable with longer hair, Black men, regardless of cultural background, completely eschew by largely cutting their hair completely off!
Why do you think so many Black men completely eliminate their hair from site whereas White men are comfortable growing it longer? Even if a White male’s hair is still technically short and ‘business appropriate’, at least 2-3 inches are there, where are Black men with this level of social freedom? Ridicule, the degree of ‘nappiness’ and fear of being considered ‘savage’ and somehow professionally/socially/politically illegitimate have plagued Black men for centuries and HAVE informed their hair care practices.
Getting that ‘wave’ or that ‘water curl’ has long been an issue among Black men who saw the curl of their hair reflective of mixed heritage and/or male beauty. And a reminder, we are mainly a bunch of women commenting on an issue WITHOUT the input of a lot of men. Also, anonymous internet rudeness, needs to stop, it was simply a question brought forth.
A black male shaving his hair of and a black woman getting a weave (only is she is ashamed of her texture, I know a lot of people get them to change up the style but have 0 hangups)is the same thing. I cannot believe how some the posters on here fail to see that. Look around, Have you notice a large majority of black males of all ages have close to no hair? Black males are bald. I have seen black males from 13-35 sport the same overdone fade or “waves”. Having zero hair is for babies,the unwell and the aging. Black males constantly cut there hair because they are ashamed of the texture. It is just easier to for them to hide there self-hatred under they guise of all males having short hair. Males have shorter hair but not black-male-short hair. Black male have little to no hair at all. Most non-black males have 1-2 inches of hair. How hard is it to maintain a 1-2 inch natural cut ( hair that short rarely tangles). A majority of black males hate there natural texture; Why do you the same guy who shaves/waxes his hair off every weekend is the same guy talking about how “ugly and nappy” a black women’s hair is? If black males loved natural hair so much a majority of black male would have some! I am tired of seeing all black males in the same short bald-like hair cut. There is no variety. A majority of Black males shave there hair off because they are ashamed of the texture.PERIOD. I also notice the same bald black male will criticize a black females hair regardless of the style. Black males, in general, do not have hair, therefore they have no room to criticize anyone else’s. What make some posters think that black males are exempt from having a hair complex? Most black males cut there hair short so no one can see the texture then they press it into “waves”(like the picture below). I It is uncommon for black male to wear their hair like in the Bruno Mars picture for a reason people.
I’ve forgot to mention that on the Dr. drew episode on natural hair, the black men collectively agreed that if their son’s hair was too “nappy” they would “just cut it all off”. I guess that explains why the majority of young black males sport the same old 1 millimeter fade, slicked down with Murray’s pomade and pressed into “waves”. I’m sure some of there beauty regimens are longer then my cowash, clap in oil and go regimen. I’ve seen black males whipping out boar bristle to slick their millimeter waves down to keep them from “napping” up. I’ve also seen black men that carry there boar bristle brushed in there pockets to slick their hair down any time of day. They are ashamed of there hair texture. What make you think they are exempt from society’s hatred of kinky hair.
Why can’t the reason for men not wearing their hair past a certain length or wearing wave caps be the fact that they do not know how to properly take care of their hair at any other length do to the fact that they were not taught how to. The same thing goes for women with natural hair. Many wore their hair relaxed because it was believed once it was straight their was nothing else one had to do as far as the proper care and keeping of the hair. Men cut their hair short because it’s easier. Not just because they hate their hair texture. I know plenty of guys who have beautiful curls and koils and they know it but they have no clue how to keep it that way. And many of them don’t care enough what their curls or koils look like to grow it out. And to say that most men who cut hair short are the ones who don’t like natural hair is not true. Their are many who love it and many who don’t. Just with anything else…Many have their preferences as well you can’t get on a man because he prefers a girl with straight hair verses curly. That’s like telling a woman that she can’t like a buff guy over a fat one. Every one has their preferences…
“Men cut their hair short because it’s easier. Not just because they hate their hair texture.”
If black males did not have a problem with kinky-textured natural hair some women wouldn’t be afraid to go natural because their “significant other won’t like it”. A majority of black men have hair hang-ups, that is why they actively seek women with “good hair” to have kids with. How many times have you heard, ” I want to go with a ‘Latina’ gur’ so my kids can have all dat silky good hur?” Black males do not want anything to do with natural hair. A majority are ashamed of it. Why do you think an overwhelming majority of black males just mow all their hair off and pretend they do not have any. Preferences? Preferences are shaped by what society deems acceptable. Why do you think so many deem black women as ugly? Is that also just a preference?
“Many wore their hair relaxed because it was believed once it was straight their was nothing else one had to do as far as the proper care and keeping of the hair. ”
Many black people believe their hair in it’s natural state is not attractive.
Wave caps and relaxers are apples and oranges. One is permanently altering your texture with the use of chemicals, and the other is basically just bringing out the already-curly texture of your own natural hair. Come on now.
Tyler
http://onelittleblackdress.com
OH YOU COME ON NOW TYLER.
Are you claiming altering your texture in different ways because you simply hate it is oranges and apples? The underlying factor is hating ones self because they feel inferior. And what do you mean “bringing out the already bringing out the curly texture of your hair”.
They don’t have any to bring out. That darn box is misleading. I have not seen a black male with that much hair since…… since….. I don’t know.
AND WHAT DOES “BRING OUT YOUR TEXTURE MEAN”????? If you have the texture there is nothing to bring out! It’s supposed to be a pretty hairstyle not a physical enhancement like some sort of surgery. BRING OUT. WHAT???? If It’s already there in waves and curls or kinks you shouldn’t have to work at it unless you want a style.
That terminology needs a rewind, that’s subconscious sadness.
Twist outs , waves, bantu knots are supposed to be styles nor altering your hair texture because YOU HATE YOUR HAIR AND WANT WHITE MEN or BLACK MEN TO THINK ITS LOOSE therefore more euro and PRETTY. I have looked at your blog, I’ve seen your natural hair texture from your blog. My hair looks like a dead center copy of yours (dry and wet) and I don’t sit there admiring it when it’s wet because I think it’s pretty or take dozens of photos of it and commentary on how I want to keep it wet 24/7. Do you like your hair? Or do you try to enhance it? WHADAFUQ does “enhance” me? Do you have like you hair when it’s not defined or wet. Or sleek.
It looks like If you have naturally curly hair you don’t ned to “bring it out” or “enhance” it, that is sooooooooooo sick in the mind. It’s a hair style not to enhance it. It’s supposed to be a hairstyle, Tyler.
I am so tired of this new genre of “naturals” who bring their self hating issues to their own curls and kinks. Love yourself.
Tyler men with a tighter z kink do use chemicals to get that wave look. That’s why they call it “S CURL” There are other texturizers that they use too. I was just looking at a 22 year old guy with a texturizer 5 minutes ago. I asked if tht was his natural hair texture? he said NO.
Lmfao wave caps dont permanently alter the texture/pattern of your hair. Wave caps arent similar to chemicals whatsoever. This article is reaching and the author should have several seats.
Black men wear wave caps to achieve “good” hair waves. SMMMMHHHHH! It is not the same as a black women who likes her hair, setting her hair in a twist-out every once in a while to achieve a different look. Besides the black men who cannot achieve the “good” waves just go bald. Why do you think 99% of black male (of all ages) wear that same tired fade?
The way in which you are saying this makes it the exact same… What about the natural who would rather wear their hair in a twist out everyday all day than wear their hair in its natural shrunken state? If men wear wave caps to achieve “good” hair woman do the same when wearing twist outs and braids.
In general, women of all races/ethnic groups like to style and alter their hair.If a women wears her hair in a twist-out or gets a weave but has no problem with rocking her natural texture then she does not have these hang-ups. Hair is a great fashion accessory. If she is wearing a twist-out because she thinks the looser texture is better than her own, then she has a hang-up. Too much time is focused only on black women’s hair. I have heard people refer to kinky, natural hair exclusively as exclusively as “black girl hair”. People seem to forget that black males also have the same hair type. A majority of black males set their hair in waves or shave it until there almost bald because they believe their texture is bad. That is why a majority of black males try to go with “light-skinned or ‘Latina'” women so they can have kids with “good” hair.
Lies again….smh
@Jen Feb 28 12:41 PM
Are you saying that the majority of black males love their hair? Are you saying that they manage to grow up in a anti-“nappy” society but manage to escape the Eurocentric beauty standards forced upon everyone? Are you saying that this hair problem is exclusive to black females even though we share the same texture as black males?
A majority Black males also hate their natural hair. It is just easier to for them to hide their self-hatred under they guise of all males having short hair. Males have shorter hair but not black-male-short hair. Black males have little to no hair at all.
Please enlighten me on the secret techniques black males use to overcome the “Nappy is evil” society everyone is raised in? Why are Black males exempt from developing the hair complex?
They wear them to enhance the curl pattern they already have. Just like when women with natural hair do twist outs,braid outs, or wash and goes. It’s much better than them relaxing their hair or buying other races of women’s hair to put on their heads.
No
I GET THE POINT SHE’S TRYING TO MAKE. DON’T KNOW WHY YOU GUYS ARE BEING SO HARD ON HER
I’m glad you get her point, because to the rest of us its MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING like another commenter said. And are we really being harsh? I haven’t read any harsh comments, just utter confusion about the need to discuss such a meaningless and moot point. Please enlighten me if I’m so off base.
The point is black males are not exempt from developing self-hatred toward their natural hair texture. They are just not pressured to have long hair so they just cut all there hair off and pretend they do not have natural hair at all. This is not meaningless.
Lies you tell……
What lies am I telling? Are you saying that black males are exempt from developing hatred towards their natural hair texture? Are you saying a majority of black males don’t prefer straight hair over natural-textured hair? Are you saying that black males love their natural hair because somehow they managed to become immune to societies kinky-hair hatred? Emphasizes is not put on black males hair because a male’s hair is expected to be “shorter” than a black females hair. If black males were expected to have long hair they would be using relaxers too. Most black males just shave their heads and project their hair complex on women- “I want a light skinned women wit dat good hur.” A majority of black males do not have different hairstyles. Too many black men sport the same worn out cut-so-close-you-can’t-see-my-hair-nap-up fade. Look at celebrities like Shemar Moore, Neyo, Chris Brown, Jay-Z, Micheal Jordan, Tyson Beckford. Terrance J, Idres Elba and Drake. Almost every black male you see has their hair cut so short that the hair cannot even begin to spiral. Do you think this is a coincidence? If black males wore their natural hair texture people would know how black people’s hair looked and wouldn’t be shocked when a black female goes natural.
This is the MOST petty post and response that I’ve ever read on this site. What a waste of my time….and I started to skimm after a while. Are there no other hair topics to discuss today? Instead of posting this, I would rather you not posted anything at all…or at least posted a previous article. A waste.
How is this post petty? Black females are constantly asked why they were don’t wear their natural hair texture. Black males do not wear there hair texture either. A majority of black males just cut there hair off and pretend they do not grow naturally kinky hair. They often are the same men who make negative comments toward black females natural hair (unless they approve of it as “good” hair-in that case she is good enough to sleep with). This problem does exist and a large majority of black men hate there kinky hair. They just cut it off to take the easy way out.
Do you have any statistics? The men and boys that I come in contact with wear the hair in many lengths and styles. Men like versatile hairstyles too….clean cut, long or short and not because of being ashamed.Some of you people are just making up stuff as you go.
The average black male has his hair cut so low it does not have chance to “nap” up. Neyo, Chris Brown, Jay-Z, Kanye West, Michael Jordan,Boris Codjoe, Seal, Kevin Hart, Ludacris, Dule Hill, Trey Songz, DB Woodside, Idris Elba, J. Cole, Shemar Moore, Tyson Beckford, Tyler Perry and MANY others all sport the typical black male haircut. This bald/close-to-bald haircut is common among black males of all ages. It is as common as relaxers.
Preaaachhhh!
Preaaachhhh! I said preach!!!
You obviously are one of those mammies who doesn’t want to hear anything negative about Black men…But I bet you’d sit with a bag of pop corn and a coke with fried chicken if it was an article bashing BEyonce and her hair weave??
I usually find the articles on bglh intersting…but this…really? did they need filler content that badly?
Yes they make up problems that do no exist just to get a “click and like”.
And this article just got your click.
And I wish I could take it back…..
Talk about a leap!
One is mechanical manipulation of hair (like a twist out, braid out or heck even a pony tail) and the other is a permanent, chemical manipulation.
Where’s the comparison?
Their is a difference between setting your hair for a different look and setting your hair to appear looser because you believe it is “better”. Many black males are ashamed of there natural hair texture and just hack it all off to “remedy” the “problem”. The same male who cuts off his hair is often the same male criticizing a black women’s natural hair. Black males have a hair complex. They just cut their hair off and pretend they do not have any. I often hear natural kinky hair being referred to exclusively as “black girl hair”…as if black males do not share the same hair type. I once had a random black male tell me that black men have “better” hair than black females. If black males didn’t have a complex, why do you think it is common to hear, “I want a light-skinned or Latina women so my kids can have dat good hur?” Black males tend to do 2 things: 1)set their hair in waves so it good or 2)if they can’t achieve “waves”(i.e “good,mixed” hair), they cut it all off. Black males do not have a beauty standard to follow like us females. They just tend to project their hair complex onto females (like saying they won’t date a black women because their hair is to “nappy”).
The comparison is a a black male setting his hair in waves (or mowing it all off) because he hates it in its natural state is the same thing as a women getting a relaxer because she hates it in her natural state.
I don’t fully relate to this because i went natural for the safety of my health.When i learnt that relaxers were linked to cancer and made of sodium hydroxide(I WAS SO SHOCKED TO FIND OUT WHAT SODIUM HYDROXIDE REALLY IS AND WHAT IT CAN ACTUALLY DO), i stopped relaxing my hair.My relaxed hair had been long,shiny,thick,straight and jet black which made people all the more shocked after i big chopped.Now, when i see ladies who relax their hair, i worry about their health.Apart from that,the relaxers often thin out and damage the hair leaving people with short damaged hair,they then resort to buying weaves to hide their hair and sometimes burn a hole in their pockets just to buy and fix their weaves and make their hair look good.I don’t mean that relaxed hair can’t grow long.I’ve seen people with long relaxed hair,including my hair before my big chop but i’m just saying that i don’t like seeing people accidentally “fry” their hair with relaxers and then shell out tons of money trying to fix this mistake.If i didn’t care, i would just ignore them and laugh whenever they reveal the thinning damaged relaxed hair that they hide under weaves but i do care and because i have gotten so many benefits like saving loads of money by styling my own hair,my hair grows much faster now,i’m happier than i’ve ever been with my hair,i learnt to love and accept myself and my hair,my hair is admired by even other races and many other benefits… it’s only natural that i wish ladies with damaged relaxed hair to experience such benefits too.
I definitely agree there is a double standard but not necessarily in the way you describe.
Black men definitely get off easy when they express hatred of Black hair…. And boy do they express it!
When a female gets a relaxer or weave,she’s considered self hating, wanna be white, etc.
When a man hates when girls have “nappy hair”, when they express desire for a Black girlfriend with “long, straight hair”, when they leave or threaten to leave their wives over going natural, when they only date or pay attention to girls with weave or a relaxer…
I’m not saying all black men are like that but many, many are. The natural movement has perhaps decreased this amount because many men who only liked straight hair went home to find their gfs big chopped and learned to love it, but this is no different than relaxed girls who slowly learn to love afro hair.
These men who ridiculed kinky haired girls did so because they hated black hair. Plain and simple. They thought it was ugly and less attractive, ignoring the fact that it was growing out of their own heads too. Just because they didn’t walk around with relaxers didn’t mean that their MINDSET wasn’t self hating.
But they often get away with this as women chalk it up to personal preference, ignoring the irony of a kinky haired boy going off about how he hates how so many girls are now walking around with kinky hair.
I agree there are bigger things to worry about but there is no ignoring a double standard along gender lines. Being mixed I remember my mom saying more than once while I was growing up that we had two strikes against us-being a person of color and being a female- so we had to be in the unfortunate position of having to always prove ourselves. So gender inequality has always been an issue. And yes we have the right to do whatever we want with our own hair without feeling like it is some how an affront to our ‘blackness’. Just because I don’t regularly relax my hair anymore (and haven’t for a few years) doesn’t mean that I think I’m more in touch with that part of my heritage than anyone else. And yes I still flat iron my hair once a week (with great care and LOTS of conditioning) because it is easier for me to manage not because I’m trying to ‘look white’ or fit in. And yes it is still growing well. I love my curls and so does my fam and fiancé but I have yet to find the right products to rock them and have them be manageable (been looking for freakin ever!). Please remember that natural can have different meanings for different people and often just eschewing chemicals is the main point because of the harm it does. And using a flat iron or even a rollerset does not automatically mean one is ashamed of what they were born with.
No, I do not believe there is a double standard for hair practices within the black community. I think it’s safe to say that the majority of black men where their hair in its natural state, just groomed. Where is all this coming from?
Wear* not where.
A majority of black men have no hair. They cut it short because they do not want to see it “nappy”. If a majority of black males had 1/2-2 inches of natural hair is a neat, short cropped fro this statement would be valid most black males cut all their off to nothing/almost nothing because they are ashamed of it. The picture down below is a black guy getting the typical black-male hair cut that a large majority of black male sport. Your statement is invalid.
Lol….most black males cut their hair off because they’re ashamed of it!?! Madness. I wonder if you are even black or male? No other reason huh? Tidiness? Wanting to have a clean, trimmed look? Not wanting to spend more time grooming perhaps?
I am a black female who is tired of seeing a majority of black men wear their in the same redundant haircut. How is having 2-3 inches of a shorted cropped natural hair not tidy, cleaned and trimmed. A person that says that 1-3 inches of a cropped natural style is not “clean and trimmed” is just as bad as a person saying a black women’s natural hair looks dirty and unprofessional(see the double standard). Why do black people think their natural hair is not groomed and tidy? I have noticed that the same black male who cuts off is often the same black male who criticizes “nappy” hair. You did get one thing right though- you acknowledged the fact that black men think that having 1-3 inches of a neat natural ‘fro is not clean and tiny. This is because they were taught, just like everybody else, that their natural textured hair is dirty and not “groomed”. To remedy this “problem” black men tend to cut off their hair completely to “fix” the “situation”. If looking groomed was the only reason black males cut all their hair off, they would not be making nasty remarks about how “nappy” a black females hair is and seeking “light-skinned or ‘Latina'” women so their kids can come out with “good” hair. The same black men who claim they do not want to spend time grooming their hair in its natural state are often the same black men that manage to find time to slick their hair into waves and set it every night. It is not a “time” problem.
An oh girl you are right. Most black men do cut their hair off and that is because they don’t want to meet Becky’s parents with their natural nappppps!! went to bed with a nigga who wore a duraq every night and it was smelly. I wear a natural and I’m proud of my curly kinky hair, he was pressing them naps down at night with that hard grease in the orange tin can every night and then he called my hair nappy and unkempt. These mammies don’t want to hear the truth. Most black men would rather see black women die than to be happy.Everything you said is the truth and mammies cannot handle the truth, that’s the problem.
I agree black men are not the same as black women its insulting to put us in the same box they are diffrent for a reason,
Black men cut their hair short because they are men, just like asian, white and indian men cut their hair short beause they are men, not women.
Watch 1:27-1:36 on of this clip. It is the mindset behind many black males with a “fade”.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kJsHQMO2JQ
Many black males cut their hair off because they believe it is nappy and therefore “bad”.
@Muhindii
Are you a black male? Why is it insulting to be put in the same category as a black woman? Are we so lowly that you do not want to be in the same category as us?
WOW, wait dont get me wrong, The reason why i was insulted is because i thought people where using the common stereotype that black women like me are manly and people always try to black women and men in the same category, which infuriates me every time, thats why i said we are diffent.
When i watched the video you gave me i can see your point, The guy was being very hipocritical about natural hair, i dont thing i have seen a black men like that which was why i was being defencive about them cutting their hair, Its really disapointing to see a black man like that. I appologise for any misunderstanding.
P.S I dont really beleive that guy at the end of the vidio tho, i have seen plenty of guys who say they like natural hair, but they never go out with a girl who has natural hair.
BURY YOUR FACE IN THE SAND.
ASIAN, INDIAN, MEXICAN AND WHITE MEN HAVE LONGER HAIR THAN BLACK MEN BY CHOICE. BY CHOICE???????
BURY YOUR FACE IN THE SAND. Are you be insulted to be put in the box with your same race?????????????????????????????
???????
WTF, that is some twisted ish.
God sweep us all away. THIS IS SOME INSANITY.
Hi, black men wore long hair in the 30’s,40’s 50′ and in the 60’s they have worn big afros when it was in style to do so. You obviously have not studied the evolution of black hair from the 40’s to the 60’s black men would fry dye and lay their hair to the side. Then Malcolm X came out and told them to wear it natural…But then that didn’t last too long, the Afro was worn pretty high by some brothers. Not all Indian and Euro men wear their hair short, some men like long hair on themselves.Black men don’t only cut their hair, they practically buzz it down to the scalp so no one can see those kinks. It’s the truth. They buzz it so far or go practically bald. Then they place the cap on their head. You will see some wearing normal sized short afro’s but most buzz it down to scalp level.
Black men do not wear ther hair, a majority of them cut it in a short buzz so no one can see the texture.
This is much ado about nothing. We have far more serious issues in the black community than some silly nonsense over a hair double standard. I’m natural & know guys who do wave caps. SO WHAT ! It’s their hair & they can do as they please just as I can. Here we have Trayvon Martin & Jordan Davis shot dead by bigots & trying to get away with it , college kids putting nooses around statues, black kids still killing each other in the streets , schools in black areas are underfunded & there’s a school to prison pipeline for at risk kids ( black & Hispanic) & some folks are on here worrying about hair ??? !!! It’s really sad if you ask me JUST WEAR YOUR HAIR THE WAY YOU WANT TO & STOP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK !!!
Interestingly enough, I work in the school system and see hair and education intersect.
Some young girls in high school actually stay home from school if they are in between weaves to avoid being seen without their hair done. They’ll rather fail the class than come to school looking “ratchet.” And yes, the parents are aware because they help pay for their 15 and 16 year olds to have $100+ weaves installed on a weekday and nail tips done on lunch break. It’s quite disturbing.
Underfunded schools aside, it’s a community problem. We’ve got to do better.
Why are you on a natural hair site then? Is it to yell at us? I am so confused. We’re here to discuss hair, if you don’t like it, just don’t read it.
If you can’t see the intersectionalities facing the black community, I don’t know what to tell you. There is a huge connection, and burying your head in the sand because you don’t have anything to add to the conversation helps no one.
No boy i know has chemically processed hair. Most keep it cut or where afros where they don’t comb there hair literally AT ALL which most naturals girls dont do. Also i get waves from brushing my hair with gel but im a complete natural. From what i know, boys with waves only brush there hair and use a pomade and most dont even use that. i don’t know any guy that chemically processes there hair. Audio wave caps and do rags are basically used the same way satin scarves and bonnets are used by naturals
say that! by the way, wave caps are NOT synonymous with texterizers…
if a man wears his wave cap to sleep to keep his natural waves intact for the next day then what is the issue there? in addition to this – no one says anything about the woman who fades her hair when she big chops & their wears a mans wave cap to solidify her style for the next day.. come on. lets not make issue where there is none.
I’ve never seen a man who has a texturizer even WEAR a wave cap – for the mere fact that they can just wet it/gel it in the A.M & go..
What? Black men have always tried to hide their hair from the 30’s and OOOOONNN!! Now they are just putting that s curl juice and wave cap on. You’re crazy if you believe for one minute that most black men want t o grow their REAL afro out! They won’t because they consider the look unkempt of too militant. Men wore Afros once in history as a trend and then after they’d meet Becky’s mom and dad they stopped wearing in a fro ended up going to the s curl and wave cap. Then they think any black female with “curly hair” is wearing the same hard grease and S curl they use. I would never protect black men, they don’t like black women or you, so why protect them? Maybe your daddy likes you or your grandpa, but the average black man hates black women. And you and I both know it. Some of you black women need to keep it real sistas. We black women are always pointing out the 2 GOOD black men we know. When in reality most black men hate you and would rather be with white or light. It’s the truth, so accept it. You are seeing more and more black men go toward white and Latina…especially Latina. Latina’s are not really white and they sho as hell ain’t black most of the time, so they want THOSE girls.Black women need to abort black male babies.
Most black males cut there hair off completely or almost completely and pretend they do not have any. I seen black men in beauty shops request for there beards to be relaxed so it would not appear coarse. Black men press their hair into waves with scarves so it will appear “good” they won’t have to see it kinky. Stop dreaming ladies. Black men are not exempt from societies dislike of kinky hair. If they loved their hair so much they would not negatively comment on Black women’s.
Okay “teen perspective” ,
Bonnets are to protect the hair from breaking “NOT TO GET DAT CURL ON”.
Waves caps are for waves and intended for waves hence the term.
Sincerely,
Not a teen
idk if i i can relate to this. i feel kinda outta touch with this issue. my husband doesn’t wear wave caps- just a straight ol’ kinky coily fro that i love dearly and wish he’d grow out (without complaining about how thick it is!)
i can honestly say i wasn’t aware this was an issue 😛
That’s because it’s not…
Why do you guys think most black males have a fade? They cut their hair off because the are ashamed of it. A majority of black males are bald by choice. They are not exempt from societies hatred of kinky hair. If majority of black males had natural hair they would love it on black women.
Dear My Pretty,
You seem to be educated mature woman.
Why? Just why?
I feel like this article is somewhat reaching. The only thing comparable to a black man getting an S-curl is a black woman getting a perm. When you factor in the stitching of Indian/Asian/European hair to your scalp that’s a whole different story. And yes it is by far a greater adherence to the white standard. Find black men walking around with hair like Brad Pitt and then we can really talk double standards. Also the numbers aren’t even comparable. The average black man is not walking around with an S-curl. This was common in the 90s but not today. However it is still common to find black women with perms and/or the hair of other races in the form of lacefronts. The naturals are rising but we still aren’t the majority. Don’t get me wrong. I do not condone the chemicalization of our beautiful kinks whether male or female and I’m not saying that black men are 100% exempt from the whole wanting a different hair texture. But I think its safe to say the whole hair issue mainly effects us. I mean I have yet to hear a black man tell another “boy you got good hair”. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen but you get my point.
THANK YOU for this. Glad to know I’m not the only one who reacted similarly…I was sitting here wondering once again whether I just wasn’t around enough black people, lol…
ALL of us in the African diaspora, male and female, have been touched by standards that diminish certain features while elevating others. However, the vast majority of people who’ve made the black hair care industry the multimillion-dollar business is it are black WOMEN, not men…because we’re the ones who carry the ADDITIONAL burden of conforming to the same beauty/appearance standards that every other woman on this planet has to carry.
“But I think its safe to say the whole hair issue mainly effects us. I mean I have yet to hear a black man tell another “boy you got good hair”.”
Black males tend to cut their hair off and forget that they too have natural kinky hair. They love enforce the good hair standard on women. I have heard black males say the “good hair” thing to women. In fact, it plays a large roll in who the black man want to go with (well, that and how light-skinned and mixed the girl is. If black males were exempt from the “good hair” belief system they would not react negatively to black women’s hair. The hair complex is big for males and females-black men just cut there hair off. The reason it affect females more is that females are expected to have longer hair. A female cannot just cut all hair hair off and pretend she doesn’t have any(like most black men do). I have heard black males talk about good hair.
Brava! Perfect post! I agree with every syllable and have absolutely nothing to add.
I agree with An. I think the article is a bit of a stretch HOWEVER black men are not exempt from hair issues, they usually just project them on to women. I’ve heard men say they want “chicks with good hair,” “long haired and light skin (which is a whole other issue)”, and I’ve had a “man” say to me that the reason he doesn’t date black girls is because of their hair (that’s why I had to put man in quotes).
On this very site I’ve read a story from a woman whose husband (who had dreads) had a problem with her going natural and wearing her hair naturally because it was too kinky/coily and not what he expected of his mixed wife. And this wasn’t even a recent article, this was yeaarrs ago.
Black men definitely still have hair issues.
TYKI IS A BLACK MALE. What the heck Tyki? Because black men are apparently children and need to be protected (obviously by women who have done it way to much) and taught everything in their late age. You’re a acting like a victim you need to be taught by someone else because you can not form your own opinions. Is that what you mean Tyki. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE A CHILD? Does that excuse you from wanting to be mixed? I bet you have no hair. I bet my house on it that you are bald as the sidewalk and have TWO EARRINGS in your ears. Don’t you have a white women to coddle on Storm Front. Go away. Boop be gone.
WALKING AROUND LIKE CHILDREN AND WOMEN WANTING TO BE PROTECTED AND TAUGHT BY WOMEN. THEN MAKE FUN OF THEM AND CALL THEM MEN. YOU ARE OLD ENOUGH TO FORM YOUR OWN OPINIONS. WHY DO IGNORANT BLACK MALES WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE WOMEN THESE DAYS? *****Weird ish we are living in. God come save me! Tyki owns one hundred du rags to get “good hair” that slings around like a juicy haired pimp.
NOT CUTE. And you want people to like that stuff. Protect and teach your darn self like an actual GROWN MAN should and stop begging women do it for you.
AND THEN YOU CALL THE WOMEN (WHO ACTUALLY BENT OVER BACKWARD ON THIS BLOG TO PROTECT YOUR IGNORANT SELF) MEN?
Sick. Just sick.
Tyki. Educate YOURSELF.
@An
I agree with you to an extent. Like i said black men are not 100% exempt. However when black men (starting from childhood) consistently see black women feeling our most beautiful when we are permed and weaved out then they are just as conditioned to believe that closer to European hair is better. And in the process would rather deal with the real deal then the imitation. whether we want to admit it or not when we are walking around with blond and/or Indian yaki we are advertising, to our men, that the beauty of other races is superior. Thats what it is.
I can’t speak for black men buuut I don’t think most of them would reject the following women by saying “naw man I can’t deal with her she aint got good hair”. Fellas feel free to correct me lol.
[img]https://bglh-marketplace.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/msellie.jpeg[/img]
[img]https://bglh-marketplace.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/mpressvern.jpg[/img]
[img]https://bglh-marketplace.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/fowler.jpg[/img]
[img]https://bglh-marketplace.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/conya.jpg[/img]
Those women are beautiful! I love the first one! Unfortunately, I’ve heard many black men say they do not want to go with a black women PERIOD because they want their children to have “light-skinned” babies with “good” hair (SMMHHH…no hair complex my black —.) I’ve heard black males say women like this were “too black to have kids with because they were already dark-skinned and n@ppy headed and wanted mixed babies” (that is a real quote I’ve heard a black man say about the model Jessica White though she is gorgeous).
I have heard the exact same thing since I was a kid in the 60s ! And there’s a story going around that one of the well known rappers has said he doesn’t want any “nappy headed kids”. Back in the Civil rights era there were women saying a lot of black power talking brothers “talked black but slept white”. At some black colleges there was a skin & hair heirarchy like in the Spike Lee movie “School Daze”. I myself have experienced this personally. I’m brown skinned ( think Gabrielle Union) & had a thick head of relaxed ( my only relaxer & a hair destroying disaster) hair as a college freshman & there were some black guys who would not even look at me & several pals who were also brown skinned, as we walked to class. They were reputed to only date white,light or mixed girls. We ignored them right back. There’s really nothing new in this article if you’re of a certain age. I remember when guys would put “konk” in their hair to straighten it. An awful lye concoction that burned the scalp.
Also, black men are not babies. We do not teach them our hair is ugly by wearing weaves. They are taught to hate kinky hair from the same place as a black female.
@An
“Also, black men are not babies. We do not teach them our hair is ugly by wearing weaves”
Um when we feel most confident and attractive with another woman’s (or horse’s) hair on our head then yes we do. You can’t deny this.
“They are taught to hate kinky hair from the same place as a black female”
What place is this pray tell? Is it not in the home that is primarily influenced by black mothers?
Yes, you do. Black women re easily convinced that their hair is ugly by ‘white society’ Self victimization at it’s finest. And by wearing other races of women’s hair on their heads, black men think thats hair a black woman should have. Maybe if black women werent so easily convinced, black men would get off this ‘good hair, bad hair’ crap.
@ Ms Vee March 1, 2014 9:53 AM
“What place is this pray tell? Is it not in the home that is primarily influenced by black mothers?”
Black females AND black males grow up in a society where commercial like this are common:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOLUt3qwV9Y
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88oEC6gAJMo
Black males and females BOTH watch these commercials and the BOTH learn that frizzy, not sleek hair is bad. The before pictures in these commercials often resemble natural hair.
A black man is not taught to hate his hair exclusively by black women. Everyone is taught frizzy, big hair (which are the characteristics of many black hair-types) is ugly by society(commercials like this do have an impact on people).
If a black man saw a black woman with natural hair, a majority would say it is ugly because it does not resemble the sleek after-shots in the commercials. When a black mother puts a weave (out of self-hatred), the black son already has in his head that her hair is “ugly” because it is not what he saw on the commercial.
@ Tyki
“Black women re easily convinced that their hair is ugly by ‘white society’ Self victimization at it’s finest. ”
How are black men not influenced either? Black men who watch this develop the same complex. They see the frizzy hair on t.v and think it something that needs to fixed. They cut their hair off, and project their hair fetishes on black females. I’ve heard, “I only date ‘Latinas’ ‘cuz ‘dey got ‘dat good hur,” and ,”My hur is already too nappyso I only wanna [non-black] woman so my kids can have ‘dat good hur,” too many times. A majority of black men also think that “frizzy, unruly, coarse” hair is ugly. If they saw a black women with natural hair, they would still think it is ugly because it does not resemble the sleek after pictures of the women in the commercials.
“And by wearing other races of women’s hair on their heads, black men think thats hair a black woman should have”
Black women and black men share the same hair texture. I understand that black men cut off their hair completely, but how do they not know how a black persons natural hair looks if they have their own? They are taught that natural hair is ugly by the commercials and other like sources just like black women. If a black women wore her natural hair, a majority of black men would not like it because it does not look like the after pictures in the commercial links I placed above.
“Maybe if black women werent so easily convinced,…”
Just black women are easily convinced? Black males also watch the same commercials (I posted some links to Ms, Vee above). In general, society frowns upon frizzy, gravity-defying hair(which often looks like natural hair). Black males do indeed develop the sleek-hair-is-better-syndrome. That is why a majority think that pressing their hair into defined waves is the only way to wear their hair…and if they can’t achieve wave the hack all their hair off completely.
“…, black men would get off this ‘good hair, bad hair’ crap.”
At least you acknowledge black men do have this complex.
@both
It is not solely black females fault that black men have a hair complex. We both learn that frizzy, “poofy” hair that does not slash in the wind and grow down is undesirable (look at the links posted above). By saying, if black females didn’t wear weaves, black males would love natural hair, you are saying that the black females are the only one who influence beauty standards.
also @ Tyki
You seem in denial about the fact that a majority black males do dislike afro-textured hair. Are you a black male?
@An
I’m not denying the influence of the media. Because we don’t have our own media ownership we are left to be bombarded with images that don’t reflect us. However…. we cannot ignore the fact that the transmitter of self hate into black children, in many cases, are the black mothers themselves (and I’m referring to children that have no clue about the media).
http://generation-x.net/viewVideo.php?video_id=1188&title=Nappy_Ass_Hair
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5oXGTRG66Uo
[img]https://bglh-marketplace.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Madness.JPG[/img]
@ Ms Vee
Of course black children learn from their parent/s. However media has a even larger role in what society deems acceptable. We already agree that their are a lot of self-hating women…but we fail to agree that their is a equal number of males who hate highly-texture hair too.
I feel like this is getting off topic. The topic is that the majority of black males also are influenced by the “nappy”-is-bad complex, therefore they either:
1) wear only defined waves because they associate the loose curl pattern with being more European
or
2)cut off their hair, pretend the do not have any and proceed to consider afro-textured hair as a negative trait.
Some posters are acting as though black males LOVE their natural hair and ONLY black females want loose-textured hair.
A majority of black males hate natural hair on black women..and on themselves. That is why a shocking number black men just cut their hair off and talk about wanting to have kids with a ‘Latina’ or non-black woman so their kids can have “dat silky long hair.” Many posters are acting like ONLY black females view highly-textured hair is a negative trait.
Lots of black females AND males think “nappy” hair is undesirable and think that looser textures(straight or loose wavy) hair is acceptable. That is why a majority of black men who actually do have a visible amount of hair insist on forcing their hair into waves, press it down with scarves and run boar bristle brushes over their hair so it stays “down”.
Like I said, shaving a black males hair off is the equivalent of a black female relaxing out of self-hate; they are both trying to get rid of something society perceives as a “problem”.
@An
“Like I said, shaving a black males hair off is the equivalent of a black female relaxing out of self-hate;”
Really? Soooo if a black man shaves his hair out of self hate then what do the non-black men do it for? I mean surely they hate their “good” hair by your logic.
@Ms Vee March 2, 2014 10:49 AM
“Really? Soooo if a black man shaves his hair out of self hate then what do the non-black men do it for? I mean surely they hate their “good” hair by your logic”
If I asked you the same question but replaced man with woman and shaves with straightens/weave it would look like this:
… Sooo if a black *women *straightens/weaves *her hair out of self-hate then what do the non-black *women do it for?
I am sure plenty of posters would not hesitate to say the reason a black women straightening/weaving/altering her texture is different from a non-black women straightening/weaving/altering-her texture is because a black women’s hair is viewed as a negative trait that needs to be “fixed” to be considered attractive, while a non-black women’s hair does not have the same negative stigma attached to it.
The same applies to black men. Non-Black men do not have a negative stigma attached to their hair type; therefore they do have different reasons for doing things.
Males of other races/ethnicities have short hair but lots of them have their hair cut so it is still visible:
http://ww1.prweb.com/prfiles/2006/06/18/400797/FINAL1039.jpg
http://s234.photobucket.com/user/suwarnaadi/media/MarioLopezHairstyle.jpg.html
http://0.tqn.com/d/menshair/1/0/J/A/-/-/03.jpg
A majority of black men wear their hair like this:
http://fc07.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2010/182/c/f/black_man_with_blues_eyes_by_kungfauxboi.jpg
http://fashionsroom.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Black-Men-Haircut-African-American-Buzz.jpg
http://images2.fanpop.com/images/photos/8200000/Shemar-Moore-criminal-minds-8295766-1267-1900.jpg
http://www.bahamasuncensored.com/pm_100black.jpg
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_0OfuYBJa3Lg/SJtbKzA41BI/AAAAAAAACOA/5cSnT0yBGoo/s320/Two_black_boys.jpg
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cJ_f2ELYPRo/T-WubouO70I/AAAAAAAABD4/fJCVKAq9Uo0/s1600/poor-black-boys-nwnw.jpg
http://l.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/udKaB3ukz5adlV7h7VZNVA–/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7cT04NTt3PTMxMA–/http://l.yimg.com/os/287/2012/05/31/86483512-jpg_180046.jpg
And a majority of black females wear their like this:
http://ss.x–x.us/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Differenthairstylesforshortrelaxedhair.jpg
http://www.blackhairstyletrends.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Relaxed-Hair-Short.jpg
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3o3c8U3V41rsa9xbo4_400.jpg
http://nappycentric.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/relaxed.jpg
http://gathukimundu.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/straight-weave1.jpg
Looking at these pictures not one person has his/her natural hair visible. People would be quick to say that the black women in these pictures are self-haters because their natural hair is not visible, but they would fail to realize that the black males hair is also not visible.
Watch this clip, the juicy stuff starts 1:27 to 1:36:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kJsHQMO2JQ
Sadly, what the man said at 1:27 to 1:36 is often the mindset of many black men. It explains the reason why the male haircuts posted above are so prominent in the black community.
I compared black females relaxing/weaving their hair out of self-hate with black males shaving of their hair in self-hate because they both are not comfortable displaying their natural texture. In this situation the black male is cutting his hair off completely because he views it as a negative trait and the black female is weaving/relaxing her hair because she also views it as a natural trait. Many black men view natural-kinky-coily hair as a negative trait…and to “fix” the problem they, like the man said in the clip 1:27-1:36, “just cut it all off.” Many black men have this mindset.
The haircut of the black males I posted above is a very common in our community. It is as common as relaxers and weaves. Both of these hairstyles (when done out of self-hate) are because the wearer does not feel comfortable displaying his/her natural hair texture and views it as a problem that needs to be fixed.
@Ms Vee
My response back to you is in moderation….
No Miss.Vee. Just no.
You black women complex:
Black Women Complex: The strange need to accept the projection all the problems of the race on your gender by allowing yourself to be blamed for all the issues in the group. Hair, Thyroids, Crime, Education, Aids, blame black women and black women with this complex are willing to protect the same character who calls them Precious. Black women complex affects black women who pretend ignorance is all their fault and not a 50/50 share. Feels the need to mother every other race ie. Mammy character. Only protects her black sons and neglects her daughter, “love the son and raise the daughter” they say.
Common phrases used by the infected.
“If black women didn’t wear weaves.”
“If black women did not go outside they would not get raped.”
“The black women are the mother of EVERYONE and needs to baby them.”
“The leader of the race these black women are so they should protect their homes when intruder comes in….. (Sick)”
“The black women should teach their 40 year old sons to…. NO HE’S GROWN.”
“Black women should love black men more.” LOL.NO.
“The black women’s responsibility is to keep blacks and their community together…” REALLY TYRONE? WHERE ARE YOU? OH GETTING A WHITE WOMAN BECAUSE HUR HAIR AND A JERRY CURL.
My fav, smmmh…..”If black women could fly.”
“If black women were like white omen they’d…”
No more. I don’t want to hear this nonsense.
Free yourself of the responsibility. You are not everybody’s momma and should not act as such. What is with this matronly mammy character we all take on? Sick! Just sick!
@EagleEye
0_o Thanks for completely missing the point while simultaneously failing to make one. But hey feel free to direct me to a sentence that insnuated im trying to “mother” others.
I agree! I’m a newly retired teacher & spent my career working in inner city schools & have seen the full effect of this hair double standard & burden we black females have to carry.All you have to do is look at the music videos! The light bright curly headed girls dominate. & are seen as the ideal & it effects kids,especially the boys & how many relate to black females. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to read the riot act to BLACK ELEMENTARY SCHOOL BOYS for ridiculing black girls for getting perms ( ” you needed to get a perm with that nappy stuff on your head”) extensions (“Ha ha she wearing fake hair!”), wigs ( “that ain’t her hair,she had short hair last week”) twist outs (” why don’t you get a perm,you ain’t got that good hair” ) etc,etc. And to show the self hatred behind all this, most of the time the tormenters had kinky hair on their own heads and I told them that. They acted like it was something they’d never thought of. They openly say they prefer light girls with good hair. It’s no accident that some rappers & guys from the hood ridicule dark girls with kinky hair . Check out this remark by a poster named kidcisco from http://tinyurl.com/mqyqost
“AT LEAST SHE CAN WASH HER HAIR EVERYDAY AND DON’T HAVE TO STEAL AND ROBBED KOREAN STORIES FOR SOME HAIR WEAVE AND ITCH HER HEAD ALL DAY AND GUYS HAVE TO SMELL HER NASTY HAIR WEAVE LOL … WHEN YOU DATE A MIXED CHICK OR LIGHT SKIN CHICK WITH REAL HAIR YOU DON’T WORRY ABOUT STUFF LIKE THAT BUT THESE DARK SKIN BALD NAPPY HAIR BLACK FEMALES YOU HAVE TO SMELL THAT NON-WASH HAIR LOL”
Then there’s this from rapper method man http://madamenoire.com/39263/method-man-doesnt-like-natural-hair/
This is the sad fact that many black women & girls have to deal with from some black men. It has a bad effect on black girls’ self esteem & behavior. I’ve met young black men who won’t date dark skinned ,kinky haired girls because so many of them are angry & hostile. I tell them that a lot of that hostility comes from the fact that they feel ugly & rejected by society & by black men who, no matter what they may say, prefer light & mixed girls with long hair. Those guys had never thought of that. I hope the success of Lupita Nyongo’o will help change that perception.
Would a man wearing a wave cap be any different from a women wearing a twist out/braid out/flat twist out or any of the sort? I honestly do not understand why their has to be conflict on such issues as small as hair when we as African Americans still have so much more to worry about…
A black women with a twist out probably has come to acceptance with her natural hair texture. Most black men “wave” there hair because they do not like is kinky. Black male are not exempt from societies dislike of kinky hair.
lmfao how do you know every black woman with a twist out has accepted her own natural hair??
Of course their are some black women who still wear their hair stretched styles because they think it is “better” than their own texture. However their are some women like Naptural85 who wear their hair stretched often but do not have a problem wearing their hair in it’s natural state. I’m pretty sure that if Naptural85 saw someone with a afro she, unlike a majority of black males, would not make negative comments about it. Naptural85, Hairscapades and CurlyNikki are all example of the growing amount of black women who often wear their hair stretched but have no qualms about there natural hair texture. To them it is just a style. A majority of black males never come to acceptance with their natural texture (because they never see it) and just cut it all off. Of course some black women who perceive the texture of a twist-out as better than their own do exist, but that does not reduce black male’s hair complex. Is it okay for a black man to hate his hair just because a black female hates hers? Shaving off a black male’s hair is the same thing as a girl getting a relaxer(out of self-hatred). If black males were exempt from societies hatred of kinky hair, more would be sporting 2-3 inches of cropped natural hair instead of being bald. The point is, a majority of black males hate their natural-textured hair TOO. If black males loved their hair, some women would not be nervous about going natural because they are “afraid their significant other won’t like it”. Shaving a black males hair off is the equivalent of a black female relaxing out of self-hate; they are both trying to get rid of something society perceives as a “problem”. Do you think it is a coincidence that black males have close to no hair?
Lol if black males lived on an island alone they’d love their hair , every last one of them. Not the evil malicious black women ofc because none of us like our hair, it’s all our fault, no both, just ours.
Tyki. Tyki. Tyki.
You’ve been found out. You’re a black man or something close to it. I can tell by your comments. GO BACK TO ATTEMPTING TO REGISTER TO STORMFRONT for their women even though they don’t want you. What black woman would post that stupid baby picture to prove point about women. That’s a PROVEN TROLL PHOTO. DID YOU GET IT FROM STORMFRONT ARCHIVES WHERE YOU BELONG SMHHHH. And that’s a wig.
GET ON NOW. GO AND YOU MISSED TEXLAX APPOINTMENT AND YOU HAVE TO GOT SHOPPING FOR THAT NEW WAVE CAP.