*TWA stands for teeny weeny afro. This piece has been edited for BGLH.
By Asia Martin via Strawberricurls.com
I was in the lobby of a company I was applying to when a woman approached me about some job position I had no idea about. Once we had established that we were not waiting on the same business she started a discussion about my hair. “So how long have you been natural,” she asked. I let her know that I had been natural for about two and half years and shared how I had made the big decision to become natural. She continued to inquire about my natural-ness, but when the conversation turned to her she made a comment that kind of disturbed me.
This woman was tall and thick, she was still getting relaxers, was wearing a sew-in, and I thought she was a pretty girl with a fabulous skin complexion. She expressed that she wanted to wear her hair natural. She wanted to be a wash-and-go woman but feared that she wouldn’t look right because people had told her that short styles don’t work well on big girls. EXCUSE ME! I immediately informed her that it was a lie from the devil.
I am not a big girl, but I know that any hairstyle you have has nothing to do with your weight. I told the woman that hairstyles have more to do with your face shape since they have the ability to enhance certain facial features and hide others. However, after remembering that TWAs bare all aspects of your entire head, I now think that having natural hair is a style that you have to figure out how to make work for you.
I hid my transition to the natural life because I was afraid of what it might reveal to the world. But when I finally got tired of hiding behind hot combs and braids I went to a salon and had the stylist cut every last relaxed piece of hair off. I was so happy and felt so liberated that I didn’t even notice how crazy I looked. Even though I would do it all over again, I laugh at my past self. The first six months was the roughest part because I knew nothing, my hair had been reborn, and I had too high of an expectation of my hair texture.
Once I got through that first six months, found some styles, found a great support system of friends, family, and some strangers, I had more confidence in my personality and my looks. Being natural was my self-discovery and self-creation.
Whether you are big, small or in between, having natural hair is a journey about discovering your true beauty and not being stuck in popular belief.
Have you ever heard someone say that big girls can’t wear short hair? Share your thoughts and experiences!
Gabrielle Allen is the editor of Strawberricurls.com.
64 Responses
Been wearing a TWA for over 3 decades and I am plus sized. Why? Because I can’t stand fussing with my hair! I like wash and go and do not want to be a hostage to my hair.
I think if you have rolls on the back of your neck then tWAs might not look great just my opinon
Both of you are gorgeous But did you cut your hair ? I’m only a year natural and I’m past the twa stage it’s medium length now on my way to the long hair stage .
She’s obviously keeping her hair short… twas don’t last two years and not every naturals goal is to have long hair. Lawd Jesus
If anything, I think we all look better natural instead of damaged, thinning hair or weaves that are in no way shape or form close to natural-looking, at any size.
Personally for me, I found rocking my natural hair in both TWA and protective styles has made my weight loss journey easier (formerly size 22. now size 12/14 and trying to get down a 6). I think that we black girls should stop being so hung up and do what we want.
Nice sharing! If you want to buy plus size dresses , you can buy from http://pluszizer.com/
I would love for people to stop imposing rules on how women should look, dress, behave, how much to weigh, etc. all the time. I think if you like a haircut or a particular style, you should wear it, regardless of size or face shape or what others will think. All of these rules keep women from expressing ourselves and being comfortable with who we are. It’s so limiting.
I hate the term “THICK” oh puhhhhlease!! Stop it already. Ya need to lose weight. The things we prioritize!!
And what makes me upset, is that the writer actually has a great face and a cute dimple. Too pretty to be fat.
I hate when people say they are ” Big girl” you’re not a big girl you eat too much and don’t exercise. There is no excuse to be overweight. I’ve been overweight before and it wasn’t healthy. My blood pressure was very high. I was not feeling good. I don’t believe there are fat people who are “big boned” I think that’s just a silly excuse.
You’re just FAT, because if you LOST weight,you’d lose the weight and be small. It’s as though you are saying FAT is your fat. It’s not true, you can lose weight and feel good, live a longer life. I’m sorry but I don’t think it’s healthy to be fat and people shouldn’t call themselves a “BIG GIRL” when you know it’s just being lazy and not taking care of yourself.
I think we need to stop accepting bad health and poor health practices as black women, narrowing it down to being big boned is just ignorant. No you may never be a size two, but most women aren’t. But you CAN be healthy and slim. As for “Does a TWA look good on a BIG woman? NO. Good weight and health look good on a woman. Stop worrying about how good a TWA looks on you and exercise for good health.
So you used to be “fat” right? So why would you call someone fat and you used to be fat? Did you like when people was calling you fat? I don’t think you did. My dad was overweight years ago and struggle with weight loss because he had asthma and he couldn’t do physical activity. So he had to get weight loss surgery. A lot of people struggle through their weight and it’s not that simple with a lot of people. So before you start judging people on how “FAT” and “UNHEALTHY” they are and needs to lose weight remember where you came from sweetie because you were wearing the same shoes and should know how it felt to be overweight. You might of lost that weight but doesn’t mean you lost that negative personality.
CONFIDENCE IS THE KEY! I AM A SUPER PLUS SIZED CHICK! I RAWKED MY BIG CHOP AND LOVED IT!
I was told the exact same thing by the people close to me, since I am a plus size girl myself they said it makes me look “rounder” and bigger, but I didn’t mind them, it’s almost a year now and i am still loving my natural hair 🙂
…because long straight hair fits everyone, or so we are to believe. SMH Never in my life have I heard anyone say straight hair or long straight hair wouldn’t suit me because xyz. Its always a preference to wear it short AFTER they have attempted to wear it long. I don’t really think it’s about the length but the way you style/wear it.
I sort of understand. I’m not plus sized, but I have a round, full face and don’t have pretty, defined features. And I thought that because of this, I wouldn’t look good with super short hair. I was really insecure about the aspect of rocking a really short do. Despite that though, I ended up shaving all my hair off and to my surprise, not caring what I looked like.
That’s a lie from the Pit of Hell, Here is PLUS size me Rockin my TWA and looking sexy-faboulus in my African Self, I could do the big chop over and over again.
[img]https://bglh-marketplace.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/262195_10151473360177454_1223586800_n.jpg[/img]
[img]https://bglh-marketplace.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/733820_10151762836007454_1658336325_n.jpg[/img]
You’re not overweight.
The photos are taken for the chest up, how can you possibly know what her size is? Anyway, the cropped cut really shows off your beautiful face.
Dang girl, You show. You look fabulous! Yes African is wonderful.
U are so cute dear,i would lyk 2 knw u better.
I guess I was spoiled because during my pre-size 18 years ( until I was about 40), I was always told I had a face for short hair, and I worked the short hair look many a day. So, of course, I would now be the first to notice my new double chin that came along with my new size, since no one knows better than me how short hair draws attention to your face. So for me, it’s not a lack of self-esteem, but more of adjusting to change. As a rule, I don’t prefer short hair on my heavier physique for this reason, but I also would not make the blanket statement that big girls can’t rock TWAs. To each his own!
To me, this is the comment in the article: “Whether you are big, small or in between, having natural hair is a journey about discovering your true beauty and not being stuck in popular belief.”
True, no matter what size she is, a person needs confidence to wear a TWA. Just the other day, I came across a young lady transitioning and she said with the quickness, “I just cannot wear the little afro” (she chose to transition with a weave). The only thing I could think of was, “It takes time to love your natural hair And at least you want to go natural”. Again, it is all about confidence when wearing a TWA no matter what size a person is.
When I went natural the second time around, I was discouraged to not do it and that my hair would not look good through out the process. I was determined to prove them all wrong as I was transitioning back to natural. After one year of being completely natural, these same people are complimenting me with my hair and being a size 16-18 my new look has brought my Big Girl Sexy Back!!!!
Confidence is everything. If you believe you’re beautiful, so will everyone else. People pick up on the energy you exude.
Big girl here! I also wanted to go natural for many years but thought I was “too big” for a TWA. Finally, I transitioned and did the BC and let my natural hair grow out. While wearing the BC, I had family and others make disparaging comments but that never discouraged me from doing what is right for me. Three years later and I wear twists, braids, “out” styles and I am so happy that I took this step. I had one lady ask me what I was going to “do” with my hair…Now she is asking for advice and we share natural product ideas.
Speaking about TWAs itself, there have been plenty of women who feel self-conscious about wearing a TWA and preferring to transition instead of big chop or choose to hide their hair to let it grow out. This is where self-confidence comes in. It doesn’t matter what size you are, you need self-confidence to rock a TWA. As for some people who say plus-size women shouldn’t wear a TWA, they can go kick rocks. It’s like they’re saying since plus-size women don’t have the ideal bodies that society like, your hair is the only thing you got working for her so don’t “mess” that up by getting a TWA.
I am size 16-18 and I got all the comments, Natural hair won’t fit you. your face isn’t the right shape, you don’t have good hair. To the contrary all the naysayers made me want to cut . I did big chop 4 months ago after having processed hair for 20 years. Last time my hair was natural I was 10. This is me on my 30th birthday 2 weeks ago and I am rocking my TWA , loving it, loving the skin I’m in . Initially it was a struggle understanding my hair but I just let it go , now I am loving my texture, my hair is softer , a lot shinier . It has never been healthier looking . Any big girl that think TWA is not for them need to get rid of that negativity. Just do it! Most people tearing you down have their own self esteem issues, I have lived to see the same people who discouraged me ask my advice on natural hair and products.
oops my pic was too big lol
you made me lol! I read that whole paragraph and I was so excited to see you.
When I began my journey to becoming natural I gave it a lot of thought. And boy was I nervous! I wore a weave for about 10 years and EVERY time a got my hair done (from buying hair and getting it put in) it cost me $500. I decided it was time for something new! I didn’t big chop I transitioned and cut my permed ends over time. My first day with out a weave FELT SO DAMN GOOD!!! OMG!! I loved it! My husband didn’t have a problem with it either…BUT my family (mom, brother and sister) Lord have mercy the comments. I’m a size 14-16 my brother made the comment to my sister she looks bigger with her hair like that. My sister would always say your looks better the other way. And my mom…smdh I don’t like it! When you gone comb your hair! Some days I wouldn’t visit or I found myself when I entered a room with my head down. Or if I went to visit my sister (who lives hangs around predominately ALL white people) I would straighten my hair out. It was a hard road but has gotten a little better, it’s been two years and I still LOVE my hair!This pic is my very first day without a weave LOL! Love it!
[img]https://bglh-marketplace.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/298320_2386765554308_1405881056_2863987_167198277_n.jpg[/img]
You look great! Haters gonna hate, and unfortunately the worst ones can be family and close friends. My mom really didn’t like my hair when I big chopped it and thought I looked like a boy. That hurt, but you have to keep moving forward and eventually they may come around.
Hot-sassy-independent-wow!
You look great! It looks soft & beautiful & very vogue (modern, sleek). Good for you to do what you want & not what others want. Mums will always have their opinion (brothers too!), but you know what you like and you’re wearing your hair your way!
and stigma that big girls are not feminine neither is a short cut… we got to grow
i’m a big girl. i think twa can be worn by everyone BUT they work on some and not others. It depends on your head shape and bone structure just like any hair cut. There is a stigma that big girls need to look put together, or that we can’t look sloppy or unkept or aunt-chima (however you spell it ) with “nappy” hair. Vs. a skinny girl will be perceived as just earthy or neo soul-ish with a twa. that stigma exist because ppl perceive us as lazy, sloppy. thats why a lot of us make sure we are on point all the time. there is no truth in this but there is a stigma.
and sometimes we internalize oppression. its the same as saying i can’t go natural because I don’t have good hair, or i’m ugly because i’m fat or i have to be on point because i’m fat or some dark skin girls are pretty. Sometimes untruths can be told so often that they become true and we hold them as own truth. We feel externalize oppression because europeans standards of beauty are marketed to us. We internalize it and oppress ourselves by adapting those standards. I’ve done it and i know better. And sometime i still do it but i have the analysis to check my self. we have to do that for ourselves and each other.
Hmmm. Weird because I’ve never heard this. I’ve been a big girl for as long as I can remember, but still I’ve never heard this. I cut my hair off “Total” style in 1995 when I was 13. Did it again when I was 17, and big chopped Halle Berry style when I was 29. I rocked the hell out of that TWA and plenty of slim and big women gave me compliments on how I could wear my hair like that because I had the face for it. They would tell me that they couldn’t do it because either their heads were shaped funny or they didn’t think they had the right face for it. Weight had nothing to do with it.
I have an oval shaped face but I’ve always wanted a round face with dimples…oh well,I’ve never heard of hair versus weight.
Well she was right…I’m big and I hate my hair short.
I was taught as a hair care specialist, that a person’s hairstyle should compliment their face shape. That being said, I learned there are styles of all lengths for all face shapes. To me one’s size has nothing to do with the equation, it only matters whether the style they choose looks good on them (and not whether it looks good on anyone else). That being said, I also learned another facet of choosing a style as I gained experience: the style has to match the person’s personality. That is why, before I ever touched hair with blade, I always consulted with the customer, asking questions to direct me toward what they want, not what I want for them. Whoever told that lady larger women shouldn’t wear a TWA, was basically forcing their opinion of what they feel about what looks good on a larger woman on the lady and sadly she took it to heart. I hope she also took to heart what the other lady told her about why it isn’t true!
LMAO
I have never heard that. The girl in the picture is pretty. She favors CharyJay.
http://ammamama.wordpress.com/
While I don’t *agree* with her… I understand why the other woman would say that… It has more to do with her not, or anyone else for that matter, not being comfortable with their body- and less about their hair. Some use their hair to over compensate for being unhappy with their looks. I personally have a larger than average nose… And I’m 5’11… I too felt really uncomfortable with my short hair and didn’t realize just how much I used long, straight hair to overcompensate for things and how much having no hair to hide behind made me insecure (I hate to admit). Confidence and true self love is the key and I’m working on it… But I’ll admit, I still can’t wait for my hair to grow just a little bit longer!
Ps- the girl in the picture above is absolutely GORGEOUS with her twa!!
+1 I am tall too, and feel you! I think the gist of it is, When your hair is short it is not the feminine ideal. Coupled w/other issues in your like being BG or tall, make a person feel like additionally insecure.
This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t bc or rock a twa, or that it isn’t beautiful. I do think certain style ‘go’ better w/certain people.
For instance I prefer Halle and Rihanna w/shorter hair. Miley Cyrus looks better w/her hair longer. IMHO
Of course they can. I can say I stuggled with this a lot after I BG and was left with 2 inches of hair. When I gain weight it mostly shows up in my upper body, face, chest, stomach. At the weight I currently am I did not feel cormfortable wearing short hair with my fat face lol. So much so that I used sewins to help grow my hair to a decent length where I could do twistouts and wouldn’t feel so naked. I wore sewins maybe for about 6-7 months and after that time period I let them go and have no desire to wear another sewin forever. If I were to ever put make hair in my head it would be in the form of braids. I have done minitwists on my own hair and I did not add hair.
I believe anyone can wear a TWA no matter the size, at the end of the day it is your hair, but if you have issues with your size it may be harder, ie. take more courage to do it. After my BG I had plenty of girls my size tell me to just do it and get some cute earrings and put on cute makeup, sometimes when you take something away you have to add something, great advice.
Huh? I think that’s just another excuse that people have in order to avoid going natural themselves or from discouraging others to go natural. It’s like when people say, “I can’t go natural because my hair is too [this]”. Yet, that person hasn’t seen anything but a perm in their hair for years, and it’s breaking off. Just ignore the comments and wear your natural hair.
I agree, but it is also an issue to the person who will be wearing the TWA. For me no one ever told me I was too fat for short hair. Actually I had people in the past when I was relaxed who told me I would look cute with short hair, but I personally didn’t and wouldn’t feel comfortable with short hair at my current weight. There can be both internal and external pressure and discouragement.
Yeah, I have to agree…it’s always something with some folks.
– “I’m too fat/big in the face”
– “My head’s too big” (seriously ladies, most of your heads are NOT too big)
– “My forehead’s too high”
– “I need hair around my face”
etc. etc.
There’s no rule that says the TWA has to be all one length. As was said upthread, tapered TWAs work on pretty much anyone.
I understand where she is coming from. with my hair being short. I do think twa, along w/any super short cut probably looks best on someone, who is thin and also has a small head.
There are certain styles that ‘go’ better w/ a certain look. For instance my head is a peanut shape, so I wouldn’t rock a twa.
That being said, doesn’t mean a big woman looks bad, and shouldn’t do it.
I meant to say
with my hair being short, I do like to be slim
People who are uncomfortable with natural hair will say anything to make you uncomfortable too. They will pick at what they think will be an insecurity to try and bait you. Is the top of someone else’s head their business at all? No. They will make it their business, though.
interesting article
I don’t really care if a hair style, shape, or cut suits anyone. I don’t really stare that hard at people. I say if you like to do something or wear something then do it. As long as its not hurting anyone do what makes you happy and don’t worry about anyone else.
P.S…I was a full 9 months pregnant with a twa, swollen an all. I know I looked a hot mess. Not because my hair was short and my belly was huge, but because I looked drugged the entire last few months of my pregnancy (with my twa sticking out like I had stuck my finger in a socket). I didn’t give one flying fart because the last thing I was concerned about was my hair. That boy was kicking me up and down in my stomach. He ate all the time when he came out. When my baby weight came off I started paying more attention to my hair because my twa was looking crazy because it was growing out. So….
I would say weight has nothing to do with who can wear a twa. Whether the hair is looking cared for and maintained does.
I find the title to be bit misleading, it should be more plus-sized girls can’t wear short hair???
In the article she didn’t complain about her texture being short but how a short hair won’t suit her.
Many women regardless of the race or shape don’t like short hair on them though I have always thought Black women were more comfortable with short hair as it looks stunning on many of us and it brings out our future.
as some have said above it’s all about face shape and a good haircut.
meant features lol!
The title makes complete sense…It’s not short hair the article is referring to it is referring to not doing the BG at a time when you would be left with a TWA, because you feel your face is too fat. It is not referring to just simply getting a short hair cut.
What that woman meant was, for many black women/girls, not all, when they add weight, they face too adds weight and gets bigger. That’s why the ones I’ve spoken to fear it, and I completely get it. Yeah, without a doubt, a number of them use it as the leading excuse when they know that’s not the main issue, but with me for example, before I added my whole face was cut and form with THE lips for added POW!! ! People used to tell me I needed no makeup – personally was never into it AT ALL till this day, but when I added, not gonna lie, weeks in I chopped I started thinking about how much my hair would suit me if I was my old self, or better yet, a new me. Cause with no money and overweight it started to kick in. The only difference with mine is that, a) I have a don’t give a toss mentality. When I chopped I was happy and chill. I thought of it yeah, and my new face wanted me to change ALL for the better, not just my glorious babies (my coils) ^_^. It was a thought that passed for a minute but doesn’t falter me, only strengthens. Plus the backlash I get from my family – extended and immediate is horrendous! My brother said natural hair doesn’t suit me cause I’m big and not light skin and I should try other ‘natural’ looks like Halle berry, Rihanna or pre Toni braxton short due. He keeps thinking and can’t fathom the idea of what ‘natural’ is. He thinks it equates to texturized and short! *facepalm* Same as my older sister. Sometimes, I listen to you Americans and you don’t know it but you really think you have it worst all the time. At least your filks know what it means and acknowledge that there is a natural side to you. 99% of Nigerians think natural thinks texturized hair. It takes – and no jokes – TWO FULL HOURS – to technically explain the definition of natural. Having your real hair in Nigeria is NOT an option. In UK and US it’s an otion that is frowned opun. See the difference. So ladies please don’t disregard the post as irrelevant. Cause it’s not. I guarantee you it might not get a lot of comments and ish but a lot of women would feel relieved it came up. They won’t comment but they’ll be releived. I’m happy BGLH is looking at all the areas that concerns naturals.
God Bless <3
Apologies for the typos. I’m in a rush!
LOL at “it was a lie from the devil” HAHAAA! Black women are jokas X’D
Gotta love us <3
You are so right, I m African too(Zimbabwe) and having Natural hair is not yet quite acceptable( Black people in all continents have had similar history(colonialism, slavery etc)and being subjected to complexes that hate what is theirs and look up to beauty standards of others) but I’m glad we taking strides.and I’m for more confident in my natural now than before and its one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
Nonsense….This is just a topic to have a topic…it makes no sense!
FACE SHAPE devines if one can wear a twa or not.
And……. after that you decide wich haircutshape suits the face best.
yep and tapered twa shape flatter almost any head shape…
Big girls or any size girl for that matter can rock a TWA (and more) Clearly, they are and who is to say they–we can’t! #dontmtgetittwisteddon’t believethehype
Let’s please not. I have a feeling this thread is gonna become a troll’s paradise….insults & comebacks galore..