by
Black Girl With Long Hair
By Zeba Blay for The Huffington Post
I only wore my hair natural maybe a handful of times last year.
If my hair wasn’t wrapped up in box braids or faux locs, it was blown out and flat-ironed straight, or thrown under a scarf. Why is that? Part of my reasoning would be “protective styling” — low manipulation hair styles that will protect my hair during the winter months as I try to grow it out. But if I’m honest, another reason is that, while I love natural hair, I don’t always love my natural hair.
I love my kinky-curly texture of hair, but I don’t love the time and energy it takes to take care of it. Wash day spans over two days. Detangling alone takes hours. The only way to define my curls is through an arduous process of twists and braids to stretch out my incredibly tight curls. My full hair-length never shows because my hair shrinks to about 50 percent of its actual length if there’s even a drop of moisture in the air, which is especially annoying. This is my hair, and I love it, but I’d be lying if I said that it doesn’t frustrate me sometimes, that I’ve never, for a split second, contemplated just giving up and slapping a relaxer on my head.
But part of my frustration also lies in being unable to turn to women who share my hair texture or hair woes. My hair’s difficulties doesn’t make it any less beautiful, but in the natural hair community, hair that doesn’t perfectly “lay,” that doesn’t respond to gels and pomades and yield easily defined twist-outs is neither celebrated nor admired nearly as much as hair that does. Deep down, perhaps part of my desire to deal with my hair as little as possible is a symptom of colorism in the hair community — the idea that because my hair is more kinky than curly, I shouldn’t be as proud to show it off.
31 Responses
I think that’s true to an extent, but if she didn’t manage to grow her hair super long or have naturally shiny, thick wonder hair I’m not sure she would have so many subscribers… For example, the only times I really see a person with 4c hair praised online is when they manage to grow it super long, there’s an african youtuber named Daphne who’s a good example of this.
Here’s how I see it. I follow people who have good quality, and good videos. NaturalNeiicy, Naptural85, Chizim Duru are some. If your gonna watch a hair toturial video, watch the person that has a similar hair texture as you. The people I just mention have similar hair to mine. You wouldn’t watch a white girl’s toturial on how to flat iron your hair, so why would you watch somebody with 3b curls when you have 4c coils. Like, come on here ?
Yes there is still an ignorant stigma that curls or looser less coarse/kinky hair is better….but why subscribe to that?….I get so tired of all the naturals I know that stay weaved and wigged not for protective styling…but because they are ashamed of their texture….then why go natural?….why go around hating what God put on your head, and wearing some poor Indian girls hair???….YEAH I SAID IT…I hate that. I hate people trying to cover up and say oh it’s for style, or to protect my hair….maybe some people wear weaves for that purpose…but then there’s the group who literally prefer someone else hair over their own..what does that say??? . No one seems to realize how sad and desperate it looks to spend over 100$ for someone else’s hair. I don’t see no Indian girls with kinky weaves…. Be proud of your own and stop this self hate. It looks bad.
Exactly. My hair and I got along much better once I stopped trying to force it to do what it did not want to do. LISTEN TO YOUR HAIR. It wasn’t an overnight process I admit. I bought three expensive blowdryers before accepting that when my hair said it hates direct heat it meant it. Put a leash on a stray cat then try to take it for a walk and see how well that goes. I get preference but some people are not taking ownership that their own attitudes are a big part of their problems.
This essay took a turn that I was not expecting. A huge issue the author is having is in maintaining and styling her natural hair. She unfortunately blaims the internet and YT bloggers. Without YT and blogs a lot of us wouldn’t know a thing about natural hair. The author should log off the web, and look inward. This author should consider locks in my opinion. Many people with hair she describes (4c, thick, super coily, shrinking up 50% or up to 80%!!,1hr+ detangling, matting) need to consider that the techniques YOU use to maintain your hair are innappropriate. So many of us crave to have and try curly styles or wash and go styles on loose hair, which go against the NATURE of our hair to be matted, tangled, dry, and fragile. Some people want to go natural but they REFUSE to live with our hair’s properties of matting, tangling, and dryness. So instead of going with a style-system, like locks, which are made for this hair texture, people still try to achieve that curly look. That is not truly going natural, nor embracing one’s texture. I think people need to be honest with themselves about the hair they have and try a system that embraces the dryness, matting, and tangling, that no amount of conditioner, curler, or flat iron will change.
I agree with everything you said. I think mini twist are another great option. Instead of paying to get box braids, why not learn more about my hair texture and do mini twists. I have 4c hair and so far it’s been working for my hair. I also understand mini twists are not for everyone and that is ok. I am comfortable with my 4c hair and love it.
I agree that the author of this post appears to be a little lazy and impatient when it comes to styling her hair. but it is more than possible for 4c hair types to achieve a wash n go. the only hair types that are not curly or coily in nature are straight hair and 4b (due to its Z pattern). on top of that, it doesn’t even look like she has a good moisturizing or style routine. not taking the time to properly care for her hair seems to be the problem. blaming it on “mixed looking hair vs nappy looking hair” is suuuuuch a cop out and a lame one at that
You’re absolutely CORRECT Dana.
I agree with you for the most part. I know texture discrimination isn’t completely made up but I don’t think it’s as rampant as the writer implies. She sounds very sensitive and insecure about her hair…and I’m saying that without judgement because I’ve been there. However, once I realized just how much better my hair does in its natural state, I refused to accept the notion that just because it’s fine-stranded, high-shrinkage 4b/4c that means I’m condemned to a lifetime of struggle and ostracism. Eff that! I love my hair…if you don’t love it, DON’T LOOK AT IT!
I’m not understanding the responses to this article. Colorismis a HUGE deal in the natural hair community. Lightskinned and mixed women who often have looser curl patterns are upheld as the standard of natural hair beauty other Black women are to aspire towards.
The more Black your features are, the less beautiful you’re considered. How many times have you seen a Black woman with darkskin and short, kinky hair be considered the face of the natural hair community? You don’t- it’s the lightskinned women with the multicolored soft, long curls who are applauded instead. How many reblogs do darkskinned women with short nappy hair get in comparison to the lightskinned girls with bright lipstick and soft curls?
And how about about those women who never get any representation in the natural hair community-Black women with NO CURL PATTERN, the ones who have tried every hair product, every oil, butter, and honey mask with no results? The one’s whose hair never curls and will never achieve the perfect twist out? They don’t even seem to exist.
Maybe no one likes this article because we don’t want to admit that we have ulterior motives for wearing that weave or wig, that we might be cringing at our shrunken nappy hair on wash day. We don’t want to admit that we have internalized European beauty standards to the point where we honestly think that they’re something we created.
her lack of personal knowledge and ability is the problem NOT colorisim. she sounds like a lazy natural and instead of addressing herself she’s making it about something its not
Nothing to do with colourism whatsoever. There are plenty of youtubers out there with the same or similar textured hair to hers. She needs to stop comparing her hair texture with textures that are nothing like hers and looking for validation from others. You cannot force your hair to do something that it can’t do. It doesn’t matter if you can’t achieve a defined twist out or you can’t get your hair to lay flat. These are not the characteristics of your hair. Get over these issues please and embrace yours for it is unique to you.
thank you! I still meet women and men who “revere” my hair and I have to sternly but politely let them know ALL hair types have a struggle and I have definitely experienced my share. I hate when ppl let the hair become a divisive factor amongst us. hell I have hair woes talks with women of all ethnicities lol
Yeah, I don’t think colorism has anything to do with the politics of hair. Our natural hair journeys are different. It’s relate-able because there is still this stigma of ‘how will this fit into society’s standards of beauty’ or ‘how can we make this acceptable.’ That’s what’s really annoying. The meme that accompanied the story I think were made by some ignorant idiot with very little time on their hands.
I really don’t agree. Naptural85 who is a type4 natural has way more subscribers than most curly haired vloggers. More than HeyFranHey, TarenGuy etc put together. Naptural85 has the same amount as SunKissedAlba. The only hair vlogger I know that has more subs than Naptural85 is the Chic Natural who is also a type 4 and kinkier in texture than Naptural. I have to say I think all of this supposed curl discrimination is made up. If you are good (fun styles and informative techniques) with a fun personality and high quality video imaging people will subscribe. I am a type 4 natural and all the reactions I’ve ever gotten about my hair (at work, friends and family) have been really positive. If you like your hair, other people will vibe off your confidence.
Isn’t “texture discrimination” just black women watching/following women who have looser hair textures than they have personally? If everyone followed people with their pattern or tighter would it even be a thing? The whole “hair type is divisive and doesn’t matter” has a LOT of people confused about how to care for their hair. Whenever I read about people struggling to define their curls, it makes me wonder if that is even a good hairstyle for them. Not everyone even HAS curls!
You would think from Texture Discrimination articles that the majority of black women were 3’s and that the 4’s were the minority and are ONLY allowed to watch type 3 hair tutorials. Every woman needs to look at the videos that they are watching to learn about their OWN hair and ask if it’s helpful to watch videos of girls with textures so far away from their own.
I get what she is saying but why we do tend to only blame others and society for our hangups while taking no personal responsibility. If nothing else we control our own attidudes. She mentions her hair not showing its true length. She has the choice to embrace shrinkage as part of the beauty of our hair. I watch a lot of videos for styling ideas and if you want to know the truth I like loose curl gurus the least. Their styles tend to look the SAME most of time versus the versatility of tight curl guru styling. I mean how many milion washand go videos can a person watch? Snooze. I think kinkier hair is more versatile. I can tell a lot of vloggers are repeating hair info they got off some kinky girls video. I saw a relaxed video posted recently where the lady was explaining the loc method and the comments were like this was newly invented. I do not sub Taren. Not impressed with her hair knowledge. Half the time she is standing there watch a stylist do the work. And honestly other than when she chopped it off I didn’t care for her styles. Rather watch my girl Nap over Taren and Fran any day.
that’s soooo true!! a lot of the curly hair girl on youtube do the same styles and their hair always looks the same over and over again
Exactly. Yawn. Maybe it’s because I have been natural a long time but if a blogger has one good look then that’s not enough for me to want to subscribe. And if your hair looks heat damaged I’m not subbing either.
I totally agree and understand where you’re coming from in both of your comments. Then there are those who subscribe to bloggers and vloggers for informational reasons. I am subscribed to a few women who wear the same hairstyles both loose and tight textures but that is because their purpose content is invaluable. All based around health care tips and techniques. I don’t care too much about different hairstyles for myself. But I do enjoy watching them. I care more about finding out new ways and techniques that improve the health of my hair, new products, growth tips etc. And I enjoy following their hair journeys and seeing their progress. There’s always something new to learn, for me at least. So I guess it’s different for everyone.
Yes exactly I agree. people can be looking for different things and what they look for can change over time. it’s good we have something-for all. I am not as interested in care tips because through 8 years old trial and error mistakes I know pretty much what works and doesn’t for me. I like diverse styling videos. If someone asked you to rec a channel for style ideas would you say Taren or Fran? Likely not. There are some loose naturals who do well stying. I just meant overall I think kinkier gurus better at it. I have low porosity andprotein sensitive hair so videos on those topics I don’t think hair type matters.
I get what she is saying but what she’s describing is called Texture Discrimination not Colorism. She feels this way because of her hair’s texture not because of the color of her skin.
Read the whole piece. She discusses colorism in the context of texture discrimination, i.e. darker skinned women with looser curls being accused of having “mixed” heritage.
I’ve read the whole article and colourism has nothing to do with what she is talking about. The shade of your skin has nothing to do with the texture of your hair. She’s making it something which it’s not.
I did read the entire article? Where did she mention darker skinned women being accused of being biracial? She literally says “perhaps part of my desire to deal with my hair as little as possible is a symptom of colorism in the hair community”. Not something like “Light skinned girls with my texture are more valued or appreciated over me because of my darker complexion”. So that means that this article is about texture discrimination, not colorism. They are NOT one in the same even though they are closely related.
Also we need to promote more kinky hair girls on youtube and instagram so we have places to draw inspiration from. i’ll start the list. Please add if you know any more:
1)livenaturallylove
2)westafricanbaby
3)gerimua
4)iconicafricana
5)jostylin
6)igbocurls
Basically anything from Islandbiophotography on Instagram or just search Joey Rosado on Instagram
Excellent solution….I don’t have instagram though, are they also YouTube handles?
yup!! instagram and youtube
we can’t keep denying the fact that there is favoritism towards certain physical attributes in the natural hair community.i personally don’t think it is strictly based on color, but more based on hair texture/ curl pattern because there are darker skinned girls with curly hair that still benefit from the same favoritism that serves the lighter skinned girls with curly hair. The looks that are highly coveted by a large number of naturals, for example big hair, laid edges, sleek smooth roller sets…are looks that are easier to obtain on curlier/finer hair as compared to kinkier/coarser hair. For instance, just check some natural hair pages and see that the protective styles with the most likes are the ones with the baby hairs laid, forgetting the fact that there are MANY 4c girls that cannot lay any baby hairs down because their hair just doesn’t do that.Someone with curly hair can easily do a style and it appears big , fluffy,smooth and defined but if a person with kinkier hair,(even if the kinky hair is significantly longer than the curly hair when straight) does the exact same style,it wont even look half as big or smooth as the curly girl’s hair simply because her hair naturally shrinks wayyyy more and her hair is very textured so making it appear smooth requires more work which can be damaging when done on a regular basis. There are curly hair girls that can easily brush their hair into a light blow out and do sleek up dos with it but a kinky hair girl that tries that is awaiting severe breakage.By default, kinkier hair girls have to do more work to obtain the looks that are easily obtained by curlier hair girls and the more work you do to your hair the more damage it suffers. I think the best thing to do is to re condition our minds to realize that big hair, defined curls, sleek edges doesn’t always mean healthy hair. I mean …heat damaged hair or relaxed ends create very sleek defined smooth curls when set with rollers.
all hair has give and takes. a woman with looser curls and finer hair most likely has massive volume when the hair dries. but the caveat to that is there hair is usally way less thick/dense than that of a woman with type 4 hair AND she most likely won’t flat iron the hair bc it’ll showcase the fine, thin strands. vice versa, our hair (type 4) is mostly dense, some of us also have coarse strands as well. so what it doesn’t hang and it shrinks to our scalps. we don’t have to work hard for volume AND we don’t have issues with trying to manipulate our curls to make our hair appear thicker than it is. this post is all about how this woman basically refuses to even try to accept her hair. learn to love whats on your head and stop comparing. and as far as baby hairs, women with baby hair (like myself) would KILL to have full edges. we just lucky that the edge slicking trend from the 90s isn’t a laughing stock of today. we can’t get tight braids around the perimeter of our hair bc that hair WILL fall out. some curly styles make it seem as if we have bald spots or thinning edges. the hair NEVER lays down even if God himself slapped a heavenly serum on our heads. the point: we all have ups and downs. embrace it and stop whining all the time about it