by
Christina Patrice
I’ll just come right out and say it:
I think there is something terribly wrong with any product designed to chemically alter a child’s natural hair texture.
It’s not even about bone-straight relaxing anymore, either. With the development of their Texture Softener, companies like Soft & Beautiful (Just For Me) are unashamed in their mission to further perpetuate the notion that “curly” hair is better, and encourage a new generation of little girls and young mothers to covet a hair texture other than their own.
According to their website www.texturesoftener.com, the Texture Softener “is for hard-to manage hair. It mildly loosens curls and kinks that cause hair to tangle and break during combing.” Additionally, it promises to allow your little girl to enjoy “long hair that grows without the breakage from combing” and an easier time achieving fun styles.
I didn’t know you needed loose, curly hair to enjoy fun styles — but I digress.
The Just For Me Texture Softener walks like a relaxer, talks like a relaxer, and pretty much is a relaxer. Within their FAQ Section, they lay it out pretty plainly; the Texture Softener is a permanent process and must grow out of the hair like a regular relaxer. Companies like Just For Me are doggedly determined to recoup their losses in relaxed hair sales, and are trying to find new ways to capitalize off of the popularity of natural hair. Their peddaling of a kiddie texlax kit is both egregious and harmful to the psyche of our little girls.
Ironically enough, under their section for moms, they claim to be fighting against the media-induced war on self-esteem:
Ethnic and multi-ethnic children, especially little girls, realize the values that society places on outer appearances, especially what may make them different, much sooner than you might think. Little girls form their self-image early and are impacted by messages and other influences in their environment. By the time your daughter begins to interact socially with friends or family members or take in the many messages in the media, she will have some idea about her image and how others may view her. In order to ensure your daughter has a healthy self-concept, it is important to begin talking to her about her identity as soon as possible so that you can instill in her a strong self-esteem and a healthy self-image. It is just as important to de-emphasize the importance of outer beauty and communicate to her that her beauty begins on the inside. Because we believe this is crucial for little girls, Just for Me™ Texture Softener™ tapped nationally renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Jeff Gardere to offer ways to start the dialogue with your child.
Yes, by all means, let’s start that dialogue on a healthy self-concept by telling girls that there is something wrong with their hair, that it can’t be managed, and will only grow long and be fun to style if it is loose and curly.
I wish the foolery stopped there, but it doesn’t. About three paragraphs down, it continues:
Proactively talk about loving your daughter’s hair. Your daughter’s hair is unmistakably linked to her self-image and self-esteem. If she feels her hair is a problem, she will also think there is a problem with her image. If she believes her hair is beautiful, she will believe that she is beautiful. Your little girl will take her cues from you, her mother. Be careful not to inadvertently pass along negative feelings through the frustrations of everyday grooming.
Let’s stop there. If your daughter feels her hair is a problem, she will also think there is a problem with her image. So let’s ratify the notion that she thinks her hair is a problem by slapping a relaxer on it, and teach her to accept an edited version of herself. Because that makes way more sense than having a conversation with your daughter about her hair, and teaching her to love herself and find value in herself as-is.
I really wish I was making this stuff up, or that this was one of those well-played satirical “news” stories that people pass along on Facebook as being true. But it’s not.
Muddled in all of their marketing jargon disguised as helpful tips for mom, we get to the real root issue: companies like Just For Me really think that natural hair is a problem that needs to be managed. And if I can be really real, they (along with a host of other companies) think that the further you move away from a kinky or coily aesthetic, the better off you are.
This goes far beyond texture discrimination, into a realm of corporate agendas to propogate self-hatred amongst Black women to keep their coffers lined. And now, a meme to further illustrate my point:
For many of us, our journey to natural hair began as adults after years of abuse from relaxers, hot combs, and flat irons. We endured these treatments from a young age — since we were old enough to know when to hold our ears down to keep them from being burned. In fact, during the 90’s, Just For Me had one of the most aggressive marketing campaigns ever seen for relaxed hair — especially for little girls. To this day, many of us can still sing the song from the commercials (myself included). While those jazzy little girls (one of whom is former Destiny’s Child member LaTavia Roberson) danced and sang about hair that was so soft, silky, and free, it was abundantly clear that Just For Me and parent company Soft n’ Beautiful had no investment in the idea of natural hair from the outset.
http://youtu.be/9Ex5IHLdZQk
But a little more than 20 years later, they’ve changed their tune. A visit to the Just For Me website yields a plethora of natural hair care products for children, from five-finger-test shampoos to curl smoothers and edge cremes. In fact, to find the Just For Me children’s relaxer, you have to visit Sally’s, Target, Amazon, or other retailers directly.
Although their Texture Softener and natural hair product line is nothing new, it remains a far cry from cassette tape jingles about silky, flowing, relaxed hair. Just For Me is trying to show up to the natural hair party — way too late, and with the wrong message.
In 2014, the natural hair movement presents a unique opportunity to turn the tide with our little girls. With our big chops and transitions, we inspire future generations to step away from conforming to eurocentric standards of beauty and accept their natural hair as-is.
The natural hair movement threatens to shatter (and has already begun to do so, honestly) a multi-billion dollar industry predicated on a lack of self-acceptance among Black women. And while there will always be a certain segment of the population that maintains they maintain(ed) straight hair for convenience, The undercurrent of the movement will always be focused on no longer accepting any less than our natural selves as beautiful. Product like Texture Softener just make it that much more important to take ownership in teaching our little girls and boys to value and see the beauty in natural hair as-is.
At the end of the day, companies like Just For Me continue to propogate the message Black hair, and by extension Blackness in all our shades, textures, and tones are not welcome within an already limited scope of “acceptable” beauty. This thinly veiled anti-natural agenda is haphazardly wrapped in a “solution” that preys on the ignorance of moms who are unsure of how to handle their little girl’s hair.
Trust me: just put some conditioner on it. She’ll be fine.
Weigh in, BGLH readers! I want to know what you all think about this Texture Softener business!
87 Responses
That product has been around for years before the natural hair movement. I was in the fifth grade when it came out.I Am grown now. my stylist said I could either get that or a relaxer. Of course I chose the relaxer. . I used that for texlaxing before i transitioned.i can say it made the process going natural so much easier then then1st time I had tried.
Dubious. I don’t trust Dark ‘n Lovely’s natural products either. I’ve heard great reviews, but I can’t get over them as just being a bandwagon-jumper.
Well said!
Mom just put it in my hair, evn though i didnt want it to be in my hair ( im 14 ). She claims its not a relaxer but i know it is … I really hope this doesnt mess up my curls 🙁
Dorry your mom put those chemicals in your beautiful natural hair! how is your hair doing now? :(.
This link – http://napturallycurly.com/tips-for-transitioning-teen/ – has great information for teens who want natural hair AND how to talk to mom’s who say “no way.”
What I offends me most is the online FAQ section attempts pretend they are for a girls possitive self image!All the while promoting a product that alters a part of their image and ID! Come on, really?im pissed bc they researched all our natural sites& found key words& phrases & tried reverse psychology on us! Like I believe JFM gives a rats ass abt our little girls esteem issues.You have to be up on your game to not fall for this BS!you don’t encourage coloring a white child’s hair bc society would be up in arms!If little 9 y old brunette Jessica came home from school saying she wanted to be blond like little Kaie..mommy shoyld ssy its km.If jessicas had alot if curls& mommy was tired of detsngl Ing it, slap a perm jn it? NO! Someone would think her a vsin& stupid mother…skmrone might csll it child neglect..chemiclas on her delicate silken brunette curls? God forbid bc they feel any kind of chemicals are harmful to a child head.
BUT a little black girls kinky hair? That’s the exception for the ” no chemicals on a child’s head” rules bc our hair IS unmanegable.Unmanagable to WHO is the question? With love & acceptance comes PATIENCE.i don’t pretend our hair is always easy to manage but it’s MINE!To alter it for anything remotely related to a negative opinion abt your hair is unhealthy.And until a child is able to understand the long term effects& be able to tell you WHY they want to alter their image, no body should be deciding FOR them to alter their appearance.We are shaping their opinions& preferences before they’ve emotionally or psychologically decided who they are & what is valuable to them.How can you learn to value your hair at 16 when someone altered it at 9 before you even learned what you liked about yourself?AND that alteration came with possible chemical burning& itching that had to be repeated every 2-3months? How is THAT teaching a young child exceptance& self-love? Before she can form an opinion our actions AGAINST her hair says we can’t be bothered& we if they further terms like nappy head & hot mess..what chance does our hair stand to not be looked at as a problem?So why shouldn’t she reject the notion of natural hair?looser/softer hair is “fun& easier to style”? Really? Why wouldn’t she yern for softer looser curls? No one has ever shown her that her texture was something to be desired.JFM can go take a long walk off a short pier! NEXT!
I think a little girl hearing
-your hair is nappy
-your hair is hard
-you ont gat good hair
ia FAR MORE damaging than a light relaxer from just for me.
Just for me is a CHOICE but hearing damaging words in your house growing up is not a choice.
They have been out for at least 7 years now.
KEY in on this part of the blurb:
“In order to ensure your daughter has a healthy self-concept, it is important to begin talking to her about her identity as soon as possible so that you can instill in her a strong self-esteem and a healthy self-image. It is just as important to de-emphasize the importance of outer beauty and communicate to her that her beauty begins on the inside.
WHY would we need to de-emphasize outer beauty? do black women automatically not have any? My mother tried this with my older sister. She kept telling her that she was uber lovely then also said looks did not matter–as a result my sister suspected all the cheerleading and doublespeak was because our mother knew she really was very ugly.
Only she wasn’t. Our mother was trying what she knew to validate her daughter but it hurt and did not help. I agree with this article–if we really want to validate our children, we start by not telling them on the one hand looks do not matter and then trying to chemically treat their hair. If looks do not matter than their hair does not matter.
We validate ourselves–when black women set their own standards and look to their own approval, when we defiantly ignore or repudiate a white standard of beauty being applied to women of color–we SHINE. Imagine expecting a water melon to GROW and taste like an orange–how successful would that be?
We are beautiful in our own right–as evidenced by all the things about us the so called white females strive to copy–they admire us so much they even want the fruit of our wombs (black males ) and want to produce children with black people–but of course, like many things people admire they cannot admit to this admiration–we are the recipients of centuries of backhanded compliments and we must not forget this.
NO to texlax for children —what naturally grows is just fine enough for me, thank you and when I need product, I will seek out those in the production business like me so that I can support my own–like every other group has done and continues to do.
I’m an adult in her 30’s and used this product. I was frustrated because my hair wasn’t long & heavy enough yet to form a ‘bob'(I have thinner type hair). My curl pattern was so uneven after using it because some places my curls are much tighter and in the front it is wavy. It looked beautiful when I used rods in the front to match the back but after awhile my hair became extremely dry. You can get the same look with Kinky Kurly Custard. I ended up cutting all my hair off again and have a tapered cut & I just use Kinky Kurly. I can’t imagine it being good for a child’s hair, don’t use it. It isn’t worth it, just embrace the way the hair is without it.
This was out for years now! I used this on my hair three years ago but my last one was in 2012. It really is a relaxer tbh but it makes you hair really curly and curls looser!
dont blame the company. blame the adult who’s putting this crap in the child(s) hair.
Exactly! They only make products that will make them money. Which means once we stop buying, they will stop selling. Unfortunately, we must look at ourselves, NOT the company.
I always thought products like this are damaging. If I have a daughter I don’t need her to think her texture needs to be changed or managed or softened. I think we also need to stop saying negative things around little kids about our hair. I’m not saying we can’t say or do whatever we want. I’m just saying we need to be conscious of how we present our hair and our looks in front of our children because they do pick up on our attitudes about ourselves. If we show that we agree with the larger attitude that things associated with blackness are bad they will pick up on that and believe it themselves.
noooo, that commercial was SO nineties!!!!!!!!!
they think they slick *side-eye*. but i’d noticed this new item appear on my wally world shelves. *another side-eye*
I agree with what most women have posted here- Chemicals are not ok for little black girls (or any child, no matter the race). Parents HAVE to educate themselves on how to properly maintain their child’s hair.
I only ever texturized my hair prior to growing out my chemically altered hair and I specifically used the product above. It is absolutely just another relaxer but the information is relayed in a less jarring manner than the adult relaxer literature, in my opinion. This particular product had shorter sit times than a traditional relaxer and slightly different additives but is basically the same as a relaxer. I never had any true horror stories when it came to relaxers or texturizers but I was never one of those women that relaxed every 6 weeks (I can not even fathom doing that). I gave myself the texturizer every 3-4 months and only left on for 5-10 mins (the time it took to apply to my whole head plus a 5 min sit time).
I’m not judging anyone who chooses either lifestyle but giving kids an option when they’re able to make informed decisions is also a really good way to give them some power over their own bodies (I didn’t get a relaxer until I was 12 and its because I requested it).
My first relaxer was when I was 17 and had graduated from highschool, my below BSL hair was up to my ears within 7 months then I got Big chopped. Momma was right, I should never have touched that madness and I’m glad I am out of it now–over 35 years later.
I think the main issue is being completely Over looked. I can remember being in PRESCHOOL and getting my first relaxer. Although my mom never personally said I had bad hair it had the implications that “something was wrong with me”. My sister’s hair only needed to be dampened and thrown into banana curls. Where I had to sit for hours (at either a salon or home) not only experiencing the burn of chemicals, the horrid smell of relaxer, and the hours of blowing drying and straightening. That’s a lot for a little girl to go through. And I did NOT have a choice! These little Girls, NOT little women should have that! It’s 2014 there’s information and options. It’s harsh to say but why can’t kids be kids for just a moment. Does it make the hair easy to work with? Yes, but easy for the time being until you have to drop cash for a salon appointment or take the chance of burning your own daughter because it’s easier. Shouldn’t they get the option of sitting on the floor watching tv to get their hair thrown in braids or twists or puffs. I think chemicals and parents can wait for kids to grow up to make that actual decision. Having girls and dealing with hair comes hand in hand. Time costly but worth it.
Nice article. I think it’s wrong for companies to teach children to “change their hair in order to be beautiful”… It’s the same message that the natural hair community works hard to expose as devious and a pure lie! About the so-called problems with natural hair, I don’t think that natural hair has a problem; society has a problem and that’s the real issue. As you learn more about your natural hair and how to take care of it, these ‘problems’ minimize gradually. I must confess, I may be the only natural who hated that her relaxed hair was too easy to take care of and thus saw it as boring. So I went natural and at first, it seemed like my natural hair was too difficult to take care of but I stayed in the game and now it’s not nearly as difficult as it was for me in the very beginning. I learned and what I learned made me much better at styling and taking care of my natural hair. You can’t skip the learning period and just slap on a texturizer… The chemicals in it will give their side effects( including thinning hair ) in due time. I learned and now I’m loving my natural hair and my natural hair journey. Combs were too damaging to my natural hair so I ditched them and opted for finger detangling which is faster, easier and gentler( in my case ). The learning part of a natural hair journey is an ongoing process, one might keep learning for the rest of their lives. My wash day routine was long because I unintentionally made it to be that way. Recently I’ve learned that I can skip or combine steps and when I’m done, I can simply put my natural hair into buns, twists or braids to stretch it while it dries; after which I can put it into updos or wear it as is( I have high shrinkage 4a hair; thus the need for stretching ). If I want something fancy like a flexi rod set, I can do that too but it requires more time and I’m a college student. I can’t stress it enough: Learn, Learn, LEARN all about your natural hair and stick with it through the ups and downs until you’re walking on smooth ground. So far, It’s worked for me.
The Just For Me Texture Softener isn’t new. It’s been around for a long time now. Anyway the message they send on the box is the total opposite of what they wrote in the leaflet. They seem to be feeding (and profiting) off the insecurities of a young girl or her mother, to them it’s just another dollar. AND lastly… WHERE ARE THE STYLE ICONS? I really miss them, please bring them back.
yeah. i used one on myself 4 years ago.. i fell into the trap as a 10 year old. but now i’m 14 and going to big chop in a few days.
i agree the style icons were one of my favorite parts of this site
According to the creator of this site (Leila), the person who used to prepare the Style Icon articles is no longer with Black Girl with Long Hair, so the segment is currently on hiatus.
I miss it too. 🙁
This article made me want to straighten my hair tonight. It’s AMERICA people. Be straight. Be curly. Whatever!
What is the point of your comment? No one cares if you want to straighten your hair. You added absolutely nothing to the conversation. All you did was prove to us that you are petty and nonsensical.
That commercial tho! I remember singing that in my head YEARS later. “No lye conditioner relaxer cream”!
It’s Sad that I used to get relaxers in elementary school 🙁
I agree that it would be nice as a community to come up with ways to shave time off of our hair styling needs. One of the reasons I went back to being natural was that I got tired of being in the salon for 6-8 hours because of the long line of women ahead of me and the fact that what I was asking someone else to do wasn’t something I could do. Interestingly enough, I think that what takes the most time in any natural’s routine is listening to what everyone else says they should do. Throwing your hands up and treating the baby’s hair with a chemical is just as bad as ripping through it in a hurry because you don’t “understand” it. I took some time before and after I big-chopped and looked at as many options as I could. Just like you wouldn’t go in for a procedure without thoroughly researching it ( given you had the time which honestly most people do if they can sit and watch reality TV or paint toenails) you shouldn’t just assume being natural won’t take any work. It does get easier though and at each stage you learn a little more than you knew before, no matter the texture. With all the information at out fingertips, people still want 3 step answers. Surprise: there aren’t any. The research I did about pre-poos, DIY conditioners, clays, oils and the like while my hair is going through the TWA stage have literally made a difference with every inch I grow. I understand not having time: between two internships, a full-time job ( 40+ hours) and a 17-unit course schedule with TONS of homework just to prove I knew how to not fall asleep in class I wasn’t really interested in doing a long term research project on my scalp. But it was important that I understand thoroughly what my hair needs and does. I’m not for chemical relaxers at ALL for children, and I also wish that the idea that natural hair language is SO hard to learn and some textures are “better” than others would cease to be a discussion. If you don’t want to learn about your hair, then don’t come for my strands because I took the time, patience and energy to do so.
I had no idea that texturizers for kids existed either, so don’t be so harsh on the author.
They’ve only been on the market since the 1980s. lol
I think some of you are missing the point. Yes, texturizing products from this company is not new. But as you can see on the package, the word ‘NEW’ is at the the top left.
What she is trying to point out is that they have taken an old product, rebranded it, and are now peddling it as new in order to better fit into the natural hair movement.
For years their relaxers were at the forefront of their campaign. But now, they are putting the texturizers upfront to look as though they are getting with the times.
The are con artists solely in it for the money.
But this particular product…packaging and all is not new….I used one or two the first time I went natural 6 months after my big chop in 08..This very same box…it is no longer new after 7+ years on the market…The natural hair community was not a visible as it is now in 08 which was why I ended up using this product….This is not a re branding to target the struggling naturals or the community…they just haven’t changed their packaging in 7+ years
this is not new…but…for some reason the natural hair movement is.
Black women are money makers and these companies want a piece($$$$) of the natural hair movement pie…Ladies watch where you spend your coins
The natural hair movement isn’t new.
It was around in the late 60s, 70s and very early 80s. Both Black women and men wore Afros. These Afros were copied by other people with curly hair such as Jewish people.
Since then there have been Black women around sporting TWAs, locs and braids. They just got on with their life and don’t make a fuss. The late great Maya Angelou was natural until just a few years before her death.
why are you bringing up Jews?
I don’t think she meant to throw shade. She was just sharing the history of what happened when Black people wore afros. Jewish people in this country did imitate the style. I have some people in upper management at my job who are Jewish tell me that when they were young in the 60s/70s, they used to sport the “JewFro.” They’re proud of it.
Time, Time, TIME!!! It Takes a LONG Time to do Natural Hair!!! “No it Does’t if” STOP!! Your about to say 2 things! 1. wash’n go. When will we learn that if you hair is 4a and up wash’n go’s are really Pay LATER’S. Because you WILL. With Knot’s and Tangles and a holding pattern of “Why have I been this Length for 2 years??” 2. Puffs. aka Pay all DAY’s. Because your back will hurt from not being able to lean against ANY Headrest!! And there EVERYWHERE you want to BE (with no points:)!! And again Length will take a Major hit because your always having to unmold a headrest shape from you HAIR!! So it takes a long time and so your doing Your hair AND your Girls Hair! So what happens and I’m talking about in the real world not some Eutopian Natural Society where “My twists aren’t Dry” is an acceptable reason to be late for work. People will compromise. AND a product that SAYS “It’s not as BAD as Putting a Relaxer on your child’s head” well…… those Crafty Devils. I Feel Relaxers WILL NEVER go out of BUSINESS UNTIL we (naturals) INVENT SOMETHING to fix the TIME ISSUE!! It’s UNACCEPTABLE for a lot of people to spend SO MUCH TIME on one thing in 2014! What do you spend 6 to 8 hours on every week?? NOT CHOOSE HAVE TO!! Washing Clothes? Nope we INVENTED Machines! Churning Butter?? Uhhh NO!! MACHINES! Cashing your check then going to each individual place standing in line paying that bill….what’s wrong. You mean there’s a better way??? A way that SAVES TIME!! Why would we want to do that?? Ohhh cause where all busy and don’t have 8 hours to spend Doing something when there’s an easier way to do it!!! And THAT IS THE PROBLEM! The desire for straight or curly hair Is the First Hurdle but Once someone get’s PAST THAT what Drives them BACK to Relaxers (in my opinion) Is the TIME!! “well you have to learn your hair” and so on and so forth all of which I agree BUT SERIOUSLY prepoo nopoo cowashgreenhousebaggysulfatenonsulfateprotien porousnonporousprotienoverloaddoyouusealltheeggorjusttheeggyolkinprotientreatment?clarifingshampoomoisturizingshampoochelatingshampooisyour hairbreakingorshedding?protectivestyilnglowmanipulationstylingwhat’s thedifference?twistsbantuknotsflattwistsboxbraidsminitwistscornrows weaveswigsdoyouglueortapeEDGESSS!!!!!! It’s not just learning your hair IT’s a NEW LANGUAGE anddd There’s NO ROSETTA STONE!! In NO WAY do I support putting that toxic stuff on Children (or adults). But I’m a realist! And If we want it to Stop We have Got to Put our heads Together and SUPPORT Ones who are Inventing ways to cut down on the TIME! And most of all Be OPEN to New IDEAS!!
There’s some relevant and interesting stuff in your post, but your abuse of punctuation marks and syntax is making my head hurt.
Personally, i’m not sure Natural can ever be completely that if we take shortcuts-
the result will inevitably lead to some man-made, chemically enhanced substance. (I know, I know- slippery slope argument.. BUT.)
That’s part of how relaxers got here, I think: a genuine need to complete a complex task in a short amount of time, that got taken to its most logical and damaging extreme.
I think a fusion of disciplines is needed- both in the sciences of hair (centered on textured curl patterns), and the growing knowledge and perhaps future traditions(?) of the natural hair community.
Until we have that, I think these types of products and their ill effects will linger for a while yet…
I am scared.
Scissors+fly hair cut= natural hair that takes less time, less money and less products. Problem solved and no new invention needed. No one says you have to grow your hair out. Long hair take time be it straight, wavy, kinky or curly. If you want less time spent on your hair find ways to do so. Being natural is not the problem. Long hair isn’t the problem either. Its your mind set. What’s that famous quote “change you attitude and you change you circumstance.”
I think you’re referring to the people who want to “have their cake and eat it too.” No shame in that, but those same people shouldn’t turn around wondering why they’re obese. Easy hair takes one of (or a combination of) three things: 1) Low Maintenance 2) Low Manipulation 3)Time. There’s no slicing and dicing. That’s just the way it is. 1)YOU WILL have a simple (for you) routine that requires minimum psychic and physical drain while offering maximum benefit to your hair. 2) YOU WILL put your hair in a style which may take 1 to 20 hours to install, but then you will LEAVE IT ALONE for 1-6 weeks, just moisturizing it and putting on a bonnet at night. 3) YOU WILL set aside the TIME to accomplish goals 1 & 2 through YouTube Tutorials, Hair Blogs, Product Swaps, Natural Hair Books, Curlfriends, and your very own patience and experimentation. Period. Point Blank. End of story.
These ladies out here demanding “easy hair” TODAY then want to have the results another lady took 5 years to achieve (or 4, 3, 2, 1…) without an ounce of the requisite dedication.
ORRRRRRR you want “easy hair” but buns, twists, braids, twist outs, braid outs, wash and gos are “too much work” or “too boring.” Girl, bye.
I spend time on my hair because I CHOOSE to. If I wanted to do the minimum for the maximum, I would use 3 products that work for cheap, wash my hair once a week, and keep it in a single style for a week. The beauty of natural hair is experimenting, being versatile, having fun. If it’s not fun for you, do the minimum for the maximum. If the minimum is too plain for you, invest the time to get better/faster at styling. It’s really not that hard.
I am majority 4a and wash and go’s do not cause me tangles and knots….stretching and fros do though my 5 a curls are best left in a natural clumped state…tis all didnt care to read any further. ..
Why is natural hair “hard?” If styling and maintaining natural hair is too much for you, maybe you should go back to the 60s & 70s method. Just wash & condition, quick leave-in/oil, then blow dry your hair (responsibly). Didn’t take long then, so it shouldn’t take long now. Then, you’d be styling “stretched” hair any way you want. Of course, you’d miss out on enjoying many of the other textured styles, and your hair might not grow to superlong lengths. But, at least, you wouldn’t be using chemicals, and exposing yourself to health complications when you’re in your 40s and 50s. But, hey, do what works best for you.
please don’t act like relaxed hair is oh so easy to care for. I f that’s so why so many in the salon every week and never wash their own hair. When I was relaxed I had long wash days fromnhaving to either roll of blow dry and flat iron my hair. Not saying I don’t have to put in any time but not everyone has super long detangling sessons. I don’t
.
Your comment has been my absolute favorite in this entire forum!!! thank you lol!!.. i absolutely love my 4A curls..but like you said the problem is the time… the detangling time..the styling time… the drying time… tooo…much….time!!!!!!! so something has got to give… when i hear girls with wavey or straight hair say they did their hair in 10 minutes…im not jealous of not having straight or wavey hair like theirs not at all..I LOVE MY CURLS…im jealous of the time!!!! the fact that to obtain results i need to spend 3 to 4 hours from shampoo to drying time to achieve their 10 minutes……
I used this when i was 14… I’m 21 now. Its pretty old.
It didnt soften my 4b hair, it made it bone straight.
Wow!! The audacity of this company is breathtaking! A relaxer manufacturer purporting to give advice to parents on how to help their child love their hair ???????????? Oh how I long to see these companies crash and burn…
i purchased that kit for my daughter because i had hoped it would help me manage it better, but as you stated IT IS A RELAXER! i had to let her hair grow out and cut it alittle a time. she is fully natural now and i have learned how to take care of it.
Three steps forward, two steps back. This is ridiculous. More women need to express their outrage. Maybe then they’ll have to pull this nonsense from the shelves.
It’s kind of old, though. I remember seeing this product on the shelves at Walmart about 8 years ago. And my sister told me that they’d been around years before that!
A little girl is only gonna think her hair is a problem if you tell her! Accept her hair and let her embrace it! If more people spent time learning how to take care of little girls hair there would be no need for chemical treatments. Slap some conditioner on, detangle, put it in a puff, and tell her she’s pretty. Save time. Save money. Boost a little girl’s self esteem.
WOW
Yeah…just put some conditioner on baby girl’s hair, she’ll be fine. If by “fine”, you mean she’ll have a giant dreadlock with white flakes in it, yeah…she’ll be fine.
I don’t believe anyone needs chemicals in their hair for any reason. However, I also don’t believe people should offer solutions for issues they don’t experience. The post starts strong, but at the end, I found the solution was a little simplistic and that’s part of the problem. Too many people, particularly those with tightly coiled hair, have false notions about natural hair.
Beautiful? Yes. Diverse? Yes. Versatile? Yes. Easy? Well…it can be easy if you don’t care how your hair looks, but for the rest of us, emphatically NO.
YouTube is a lie. Any three-minute video for a fancy 4c hairstyle is a lie. Six to eight hours have been edited out.
I think it’s important for people with tightly coiled hair, to know that going natural will be a lifestyle change. I don’t use combs or brushes…and when I did, they’d break my hair, break in my hair or give me migraines. So, when I prepare to wash my hair, I know I need to break off a chunk of my life to detangle it. Another chunk if I want a fancy hair style (I don’t). Another chunk if I want it to dry in a frizz-free manner.
Unfortunately, the predominant image in the natural community is still the loose curl…even the author has loose curls. The perception is that loose curls are easy. At least, easier than tight coils. Texturizing products (add peroxide-based hair colors, henna and cassia to the list because we know they texturize curls, too) exist because beauty is pain and not every woman is ready to be about that “natural” natural life…but they want some semblance of it. Baby steps…because 400 years of mental conditioning will not reverse itself overnight.
HENNA is a texturizer?? I’ve been using it to dye my hair!
My hair is mixed texture, but leans towards fine. Years ago, I accidentally lightened it by putting honey in my conditioner. Some of my finer strands were also loosened, but I’ve since trimmed. So yeah, naturals with hair that leans towards fine are more susceptible to texturizing from otherwise harmless natural substances.
Of course, if your strands lean towards coarse, you may have some natural protection. I’ve known coarse haired women whose hair was resistant to relaxers. Or maybe you’re just lucky. Nevertheless, after hearing complaints from former henna/cassia users, I accept that I will go grey gracefully because I don’t want to risk ruining my tiny curls.
It is. Aside from the many benefits of henna, one of its effects is loosening the curl pattern of hair, making it slightly straighter over time.
Depending on the culture using henna, this is also seen as a boon.
I’ve always been on the fence about using henna, but this particular effect is one of the reasons I feel its not for me.
Henna is not a texturizer. Some say that it can alter your curl pattern, but this is not a very common occurrence. It’s perfectly fine to use henna 🙂
I’m sorry but this is pure BS. This comment is a mess. Don’t care how you look?, one big dred lock with flakes? Frizz free? Your 4c hair is not my 4c hair. WE ARE NOT ALL STRUGGLING!!! Just because you need a chunk of your life to detangle your hair doesn’t mean we all do. Stop trying to make your struggle the voice for all 4c hair. Please let this myth die that our hair is the most hardest thing to deal with. This is why you have texturizers for babies! Look all hair takes time to do if your going for a certain look. If you only think you look good in frizz free twist outs and braid outs guess what you have created you own hair care hell because you can’t see beyond that look. If you wanna shun a quick wash and go or a simple low key natural cut or simple frizzed up do because you think it looks unkempt that is you problem. Please stop giving blanket statements about 4c hair. Doing little childerns hair is challanging period no matter what the texture is. Especially if you also work full time and have other house hold duties to do. While it is understandable that people think a texturizer will make hair care easier, you will still HAVE to do hair one way or the other. Believe me if you are a TIRED working mother it won’t matter if your child has the silkiest of ringlets or the kinkiest coils its not going to be something you breeze through. As for versatility for a child ‘s hair puh leeze lol. When I was little we got some corn rolls that stayed in our hair for 4 weeks. Our scalps were greased periodically and that is about it until wash day where the process started all over again. We got a press n curl for special occasions and that was it. Children should be enjoying their child hood and not worrying about what new hair style can they get or caught up in mommy’s good hair bad hair nonsense.
“WE ARE NOT ALL STRUGGLING!!!”
PREACH!
THANK YOU! you are so spot on! My hair’s type 3b/c and my parents KEPT my hair constantly in braids and cornrows (even though they would be badly fuzzed out beyond recognition by week three) when i was little because it was faaaaar less time consuming than them having to do my hair everyday even though i supposedly had, according to everyone outside of my family, “easy-to-manage curls”. puh leeze. even now i struggle with my hair but find the tight curls of my son, where they mimic his father’s naturally coarse, 4b/c wiry spirals, waaay more manageable than my hair because they actually hold styles, whereas my hair does not. my hair won’t even hold its own curl pattern before it stretches out sporadically throughout, all crazy and haywire, and i have to rewet it and start over from scratch- because of how i like to wear my hair these days. constant time spent trying to get it to coordinate, and it made me see why my parents kept my hair in styles more commonly associated with type 4 hair. it made sooo much sense, and if *i* had any sense i’d go back to cornrows and be done with it, to tell the truth. but i really can’t stand this false belief that type 4 hair is hard to care for, when it is absolutely not. as with any hair, it’s all about technique and what you’re trying to get it to look like, just as you said. if you’re trying to get your hair to look a certain way, then you accept that it may take you a long time and much effort to get those results. if i just wanted easy to manage hair, it would be nothing for me to throw my hair into cornrows and keep them in for about a month, for example, but i like to wear my hair loose and big so i accept that with that (plus over-bleaching for the honey blond look i like) comes damage and lots of time spent trying to keep that look. but the issue is not the hair itself. it never is- only always your expectation.
[img]https://bglh-marketplace.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/mehurrr.JPG[/img]
And you get another AMEN from me along with a PREACH ON!
Honestly, some folks’ brainwashing has gone so deep, and gone on for so long, that not even brain surgery would help. Sadly, companies KNOW this, and that’s why they’re able to get away with stuff like this. The whole point of beauty marketing is to tap into this sense of feeling less-than. EVERYTHING — your job life, your love life, life in general — will be better if only your hair is straight/shiny/long/etc. Combine that with an entire POPULATION of women who have been purposely left out of the beauty conversation for GENERATIONS, and what do you get? A multi-billion dollar business, that’s what. Despite the fact that more of us have stopped falling for the okey-doke — enough to really impact that bottom line — some folks just keep on falling for it. Maybe seeing oozing chemical burns on their four-year-old’s scalp will wake them up. Or not.
On the topic of children’s hairstyles: With very few exceptions, my 8-year-old niece STAYS in braids and cornrows (all with her own 4c hair). Who does she have to impress? NOBODY, that’s who. Twistouts and braidouts would be a waste of time, along with press-and-curls especially in the summertime. It’s too bad she still has to interact with people and media that promote her hair texture as something less-than but rest assured her nappy family — dad, mom, grandparents, uncles, and AUNTS — is counteracting that as best we can.
Finally, for anybody who dares to have an Internet connection while still griping that their daughter NEEDS a relaxer or “texture softener” or whatever the hell: The YouTube channel GirlsLoveYourCurls is just one of SEVERAL great resources for children’s natural hair care. GO LEARN SOMETHING.
I think you had some valid points, but I have to point out where I think your comment went sideways.
I take issue with a statement like “[tightly coiled hair] can be easy if you don’t care how your hair looks…” Natural hair, IMHO, is 40% texture and 60% care. You can spend 30 years thinking your hair is 4B, high porosity, thin, fragile, whatever, until you find the right products and techniques and discover you’re something completely different, like a normal porosity, density, thickness type 3. Have you SEEN Alicia James’ BEAUTIFUL “tightly coily” hair on YouTube? Granted, she’s elected to use heat to help manage her hair recently but I consider heat a heckofalot less risky than a relaxer, more natural too. And her hair before heat styling is just as lovely to me. Or what about Teri LaFlesh of “Curly Like Me”?!? For YEARS she couldn’t grow her hair past her shoulders and it was a damaged mess, til she found what worked for HER hair! Now she’s got some bodacious ringlets past her hips! Those are just examples I thought of offhand.
Your attitude encourages, I think, a kind of resignation when it comes to dealing with your natural hair. It really does get easier once you figure it out, but if you’re intent to approach that journey with resentment, envy, and general negativity… I think you’re feeding into the problem and not the solution.
Secondly, I’m not sure what you mean by “texturizing product” since you lumped henna (A Naturally Occuring Plant, DRIED LEAVES) in the same category as stuff that can eat through hubcaps. Sorry but no matter how long I leave on my henna, my scalp will not burn, I will not experience sores, I will not have an increased risk of cancer or health complications. (Isolated allergic reactions are a totally different animal from the GLOBAL hazards of relaxers.) And I question a lot of what you have to say to lump these together.
If that’s the case, CONDITIONER is a “texturizing product” because when I put some in my hair, my hair feels soft and moisturized. My coils clump. My hair becomes its ideal self. Without conditioner (oil, butter, SOMETHING), my hair would dry out quickly, frizz terribly, be more susceptible to tangles, breakage, matting, essentially becoming a rat’s nest. Are you really saying NAKED hair is the only “untexturized” hair? Girl, bye.
Anyone saying “beauty is pain” needs to have a seat. Maybe several. My hair should never hurt. It’s only impatience, neglect, or abuse that would lead to pain. If you love your hair, and show it that love like any other part of your body, that will show. And love is not pain. Whether that’s rough combing or chemicals that have the potential to eat through your skin and bones. Maybe for your baby, definitely not for mine, preferably not for anyone’s.
Maybe not caring about your appearance is a poorly worded comment. Some people are ok with how their hair just the way it is. Maybe they have the haircut or type of hair that dries and falls exactly the way they want and their hair is easy. My hair will loc without maintenance. I don’t want locs.
Now, where your comment goes sideways…regarding my attitude, you’re confusing negative with realistic. Social media is the driving force for so many young sisters going natural. A big part of the hype is seeing all the fly hairstyles on the internet and wanting to emulate those looks. It’s irresponsible to say, “just put some conditioner in your hair and wake up like dis.”
I consider a texturizer to be something that permanently changes your texture and what that something is may vary from one person to the next. Conditioner does not change my texture. My tiny curls would still be tiny and my texture would still be the same with or without it.
“Beauty is pain” is a figure of speech…not literal. I consider a sacrifice of my time to be pain. I feel that natural hair is a lifestyle change. If you have easy hair, it’s a lifestyle change for the better and the statement doesn’t apply to you. I’m a wash & go girl, but my hair just requires more time in its natural state. More time to dry. More time to condition. My detangling method is labor intensive, but, for me, it’s all labor of love.
Very well said, and then they had the nerve to put, “naturally gentle”. -_- I swear, if they don’t get on with all of that. I hope and pray the natural hair community continues to grow, thrive, and crush these companies that continue to perpetuate this mess. It’s sad, but you know what, United we stand and divided we fall, if we stop supporting these companies as a community, then they will suffer.
Anything for the almighty dollar.
Can I tell you? I also hope that smaller businesses continue to thrive and for the big companies who only jump on the natural bandwagon for profit, to fail at their ridiculous attempts. I wish I’d remained natural as my mom wanted but it’s a part of the journey. I’m in love with my natural hair now and I’m trying to spread that message. It’s something I was born with and a part of my identity. We need to teach children to appreciate themselves as they are so they’ll grow with that self love. Sorry for ranting but children shouldn’t be subject to such things because their parents couldn’t bother!
Honestly, if you have a black daughter, and you can’t be bothered to learn about her hair, or how harmful relaxer chemicals can be, then you have no business being a parent.
It may sound harsh, but I’m serious.
It is 2014. There is an endless wealth of information available about natural hair care. And you can complain about the cost and how it’s time-consuming all you want, but guess what? So is raising children.
Just because it might take longer to comb a black girl’s hair than to comb a white girl’s doesn’t make it less beautiful. Shout out to my mom for instilling that knowledge in me.
Oh please get off your high horse! so if a parent cannot properly care for their childs hair they shouldn’t be a parent??? You need to take a seat..
Ummm…so that ^ isn’t me. Interesting that someone feels the need to do that….
What I(& every clear thinking person) got from the original comment is that you’re not fit to be a parent if nothing crosses mind as you immediately resort to a relaxer when it takes you longer to deal with your child hair, there is no deep thought when you put chemicals that you have to wear a glove to use, it’s not the relaxer it’s the concern one has for their child when they resort to the relaxer that is disturbing.
If it were me, I’d research, advantages and disadvantages, look for scientific research on long term effects, find the relaxed girls on YouTube with unburnt scalps and flowing healthy hair to see what to do and what not to do.
Some parents won’t do that though, first they rake through their children’s DRY natural hair and small tooth comb, then start telling the child she’s tenderheaded or her hair is bad when the child starts screaming; the child ain’t tenderheaded, she’s just having a natural reaction to injury being inflicted on her, her hair isn’t bad either, you just can’t be bothered to take a few minutes to Google “how to care for a child’s natural hair” or find the plethora of women on YouTube that can deal with their daughters kinks and make it flourish.
To summarise think deeply before residing to it, it concerns your daughters health too.
That is very judgmental.Just because the parents decide to relax their daughter’s hair doesn’t mean that they are unfit to parent. Many parents don’t have the knowledge on how to handle their daughter’s natural hair because they have probably had a relaxer all their lives too and that’s all that they know. Most parents have their child’s best interest at heart when making decisions, even about to relax or not to.
You obviously didn’t read the previous posts.
That me explain it to you a different way. When you have a baby you don’t know how to take care of it whether the baby is a boy or a girl. So you seek advice and help. This may be from other people, books, videos and the internet. However you don’t seek advice from retailers or anyone trying to sell a product.
When you decide to do your daughter’s hair, who is a child under 5, in the same vain then you should seek advice and help. Again this may be from other people, books, videos and the internet. However you don’t seek advice from retailers or anyone trying to sell a product.
You know what I can’t understand? How we as black people act like we just got our natural hair 10 years ago. I mean, I know we’ve been through a lot of brainwashing, et cetera, but when I was growing up in the late 70s & 80s, there were so many little girls with their natural hair, including me. If a parent does not know how to comb through the child’s natural hair, you mean to tell me they would not try to at least use a blow dryer? Of course, it might not be ideal, but at least it wouldn’t involve caustic chemicals. I’m not trying to rant, but sometimes I really wonder what people in my generation were doing when they had this generation! I mean, many of us really did have our natural hair until we were at least teenagers. But, it we wanted to be “modern” and “fit in” too much! We forgot how to be ourselves! Sorry for the rant, but many of these parents can do much better, especially with all of the information available in 2014.
“if you have a black daughter, and you can’t be bothered to learn about her hair, or how harmful relaxer chemicals can be, then you have no business being a parent. ”
This is extremely harsh and very judgmental. I am not a fan of relaxers either but I will never judge someone’s character based on how they choose to style their hair or their child’s. There’s more than meets the eye.
There are many black women around the world both natural and relaxed, who have contributed greatly to their communities. I know many women who are relaxed, and also relax their children’s hair but are amazing role models in other areas of their lives. They have dedicated their lives to their families and their communities. How does having a relaxer make them unfit parents?
There is no such thing as the perfect parent, I am sure that their are areas in your life that you need to work on as well. It’s an ongoing process for us all. But to say such harsh things about women who save lives, doctors, nurses, police officers, the judges, the diligent and dedicated stay at home moms, the educators, hard working single moms, just any strong black women is just utterly harsh.
Instead of being so harsh and judgmental where is our compassion? Why not give them a gentle nudge and point them towards blogs, videos etc if it’s that serious to you vs attacking their character? In order to see progress, instead of attacking people for their short comings, why not have some compassion and lend a helping hand? There is nothing positive about that statement you made and no progress well ever come about if we as people continue on thinking in that manner.
I feel the need to play the devil’s advocate here. Firstly, I believe this product has been for sell with these fresh faces on the box for over a decade. Why are you now pointing this out? Secondly, many women and their children do not want to be full natural nor do they wish to relax their hair bone straight, this is a good alternative. I’m just saying.
Now, I have to say I agree with you that children shouldn’t be subjected to such unhealthy products, but many young beauties go through permanent relaxer processes in a salon everyday! You are therefore judging their parents choices, beliefs, and right to decide what is best for their child. The natural hair movement is a beautiful thing but it is not the end-all-be-all thing just because you (you in general) are a black woman. There are ways to maintain a relaxed style healthfully and just as beautifully as a natural hairstyle.
Anyways, I am not saying this article is wrong, but it’s a bit intolerant and judgmental. Bump.
You are way too harsh many of our mothers relaxed our hair because that’s what their mothers did to them and so on and so fourth. A Mother of a child who herself is relaxing her hair 4times a year for 30 years isn’t going to suddenly educate herself on natural hair just because their are youtube videos and websites like this.
Just have to point out the inaccuracy of this statement. I’m in my 30s and have had my hair relaxed for almost 30 years. I did the big chop two weeks ago and feel more confident in my decision due to this website and all the YT videos I’ve watched. I mainly did it because I have an 18 month old daughter and I want to be a role model for her and let her know that curly hair is more than okay. Do as I say not as I do is hogwash, especially for kids. How could I sit there with a straight face and tell her to love herself for who she is with a bunch of creamy crack smothered all over my head? Websites like this one have helped me be the parent I want to be, the one who SHOWS her daughter what healthy self-esteem looks like.
I understand, but believe it or not, there are still many people out their who are clueless about this natural hair movement. May aunts and younger cousins are so caught up in their own hectic lives that they know nothing about the youtube natural hair community or hair blogs. Trust me, this is all still fairly new. Just read some of the youtube comments and the questions that are asked. You can tell when someone just stumbled into this world of natural hair. I remember first telling my family about it, they looked at me like I was crazy. Things takes time. You were once their too. Baby steps.
They have been selling this texturizer for years. I used to use it on my hair instead of a full blown relaxer. It’s much gentler. I no longer use the product since I went 100% natural.
This product isn’t new though. I rarely see it in stores now (maybe cause I’m not checking for it and I live in a black hair care desert) but it’s not new to the shelves. Yes, marketing chemically altering hair products to the babies is wrong and that’s why were still in the natural hair movement and it’s not quite yet status quo. Just know that this product has been around for a LONG time. Don’t think it’s a new gimmick.
Combs aren’t necessary.
running out of things to write about? texture softeners have been on the market for YEARS.
Y’all late…..
This product has been around for years,it is not new.
This is not a new product or concept. Relaxers and texturizers, for girls, have been around for a long time.
You are so correct. the products and the marketing techniques are not new–they have been around a very long time. But, it is a new day, a new party and a new thought process. This is how “Just for Me” can join the party. Create a line of products for the care of healthy natural kinky/coily hair. Put the same cute little tikes on the box with hair that is clearly textured. Label the ingredients properly, so that mommies and aunties and grandmothers and big sisters can clearly see that the use of the products will have a long term healthy effect on the hair of their children. Include no components for chemical processing in the box. What is so hard about that? This is the marketing technique that should be followed. Nothing else is going to work in this day and time. It is a new day. Nobody is going to buy an 83 ford taurus. That market share is no longer viable.