If you began your natural hair journey in the age of Youtube and social media, chances are you’ve been exposed to Hair Porn. And sisters believe me when I say that Hair Porn can be a big problem in the natural hair community.
What is Hair Porn, you ask? Hair Porn, is the compilation of images, videos, etc. that results in the arousal of hair lust, jealousy or simply yearning for Someone Else’s hair.
Who is Someone Else? Someone Else is that woman who has a type of hair that you will never have. Usually—but not always—Someone Else has a looser curl pattern than your own.
How do you know if you’ve been exposed to Hair Porn? Here’s a quick check list.
Here’s the thing. When we wore our hair straight there were certain goals and ideals that many of us shared. For example, no one who permed their hair wanted it to look kinky/coily/nappy. That would have defeated the whole purpose of getting a perm in the first place. We wanted it straight—as in bone straight. Pencil straight. Stiff piece of wood straight. The straighter the better.
You get the picture.
But once we made the decision to go natural, the idea was generally that we were rejecting straight hair as the norm and instead embracing our hair in its natural state. But as I’ve said before, many of us made that decision with certain built in caveats.
That caveat says that the goal for nappiness is to have a Caucasoid version nappiness. Nappiness that isn’t too kinky. Nappiness that combs “easily.” Nappiness that is not permed, but is still a soft, curly, moving, flowing head of not-so-nappy hair.
My sisters, our hair is simply not a darker, nappier, kinkier version of our White sisters’ hair.
But if you get sucked into the world of Hair Porn this can be easy to forget. Sometimes Hair Porn can trigger certain desires or yearnings that lead to unhealthy behaviors. Just like the other types of porn, you can begin sliding down a slippery slope that ends in full out hair adultery. Soon you may begin regretting your decision to go natural and start contemplating the glory days of your straight hair past.
Now before you think I’m criticizing our natural hair sisters who decide to return to a straight hair life, I’m not. I’m all for loving yourself no matter what your hair looks like. But if you end your natural journey primarily because you were lusting after Someone Else’s hair then that is a problem.
Going natural (successfully) is a process that requires you to embrace the hair that God gave you. It means that you stop desiring what you don’t have and learn to appreciate and enjoy what you do have—whether it is bone straight or nappy as a ball of twine. It means you reject the idea that says there is only one type of beauty. It means you stop comparing yourself to the Hair Porn stars in your life. It means you come to a place of peace with who you are and what you look like. All of you. It means you redefine what it means to be beautiful and you use yourself as the baseline definition.
Now if you’re already knee deep in a Hair Porn addiction, here are some tips to get out before it’s too late.
At the end of the day, indulging in a Hair Porn addiction can be detrimental to your self-esteem and can negatively impact your natural hair journey. Learn to spot the danger signs before you get in too deep. And remember—God had an entire universe of hair textures to choose from when designing your curl pattern. The one you ended up with is the perfect curl pattern for you!
For more of Lurie’s writing, check out her book “Afro State of Mind: Memories of a Nappy Headed Black Girl. You can also find her on Twitter,Facebook and YouTube.
72 Responses
This is how I was when I first went natural. I found some great 4C people on youth though:
EyesOnMyPrize
WestAfricanBaby
Just to name a few.
I also think one of the things is that when you look at hair sites or even blogs, people are done up, wearing make up and have special lighting. Just like looking at fashion magazines, it can be a challenge to remember that when we look in the mirror, we do not have the special lighting or professional make up artists to make us look like that. lol! It would be funny if we walked around a lighting person with one of those foil things, reflecting the light on our natural hair awesomely in every varied setting. It is fun to look a those sites and encouraging but I think it can be wise to take a break. I was addicting to House Porn for a while, and it started to make me depressed about the roof I do have over my head. If I only I had a lighting designer to follow me, my house and my hair everywhere I go! 😉
Great article!
LOL, Hair Porn! Well when I do look at youtube I look for videos with my hair texture, so I don’t have unrealistic goals, but it also shows me different styles that I can wear my hair in since I’m just at the end of my Transitioning journey. I just want a successful twist or braid out.
I thought hair porn was looking at someone else’s hair and wanting it. I don’t care what ‘texture’ their hair is as long as it’s full and lustable. I WANT!. BTW-I’m addicted to hair porn and I like it, especially the featured ladies. Oh Yes! keep it coming.
When I first started following the Ytube and the other natural hair forums and websites, I looked at all hair types (mainly 4), trying to figure out what type hair I had. I am still not sure what type it is but I think it is a combination a, b, and c. I now follow them mainly for techniques, not so much styling.
I have a pinterest page full of beautiful pictures of hairstyles I like. It is one of my most followed pages on the site. And now I know why. But here’s my deal, and I got this from Cipriana. I only pin the pictures of people who are in similar stages. Especially if they are regular round the way girls with out the full beat face! Meaning, I am at medium length so I pin medium length. On occasion I pin pictures associated with articles I want to read later. They might have amazing 3c spirals! Now, when I follow pages of other people, I notice a trend. People who pin pictures of hair that is nothing like the hair they have on their head. I see that as a problem. It’s like the women on youtube who declare their jealousy of other youtubers with hair they want but can never have. It’s the desire. Desire and longing for something that is unattainable can be defeating on a natural hair journey. This is troubling. I have notice most Natural website focusing their attention on beautiful girls who are already at the end of their growth journey. with amazing results. Rarely do we see the medium length girls struggling with the fuzzy twist out. and when we do they are characters of the natural journey. We are essentially creating the same dynamic the media and society on a whole does when they pit us curly girls against the Straight haired Marcia Brady’s!
I am not a 3c girl! I don’t desire to be one. Loving your hair starts at recognizing it’s unique beauty. Trying to make it something else. It reminds me of the doll study; which doll is more desirable the one with 3c curls or the one with 4c curls. Frankly, I have always wanted to see women with the same beautiful like mine. When I finally resigned my self to accepting that this is what I have, I started to appreciate the innate beauty of my hair and all hair and textures. This is when it began to grow! By the way, it was nice to be featured by NaturallyCurly.com Facebook page! one of the best days! 🙂
[img]https://bglh-marketplace.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/picture019.jpg[/img]
Congrats to you ring featured on NaturallyCurly’s Facebook page….good job. True all these super star Vloggers and bloggers are doing what works for them. If it works for you too great if not, you will have to find what does. #trail&errorwithloadsofpatience!
it it is important to show all phases of a hair journey some TWAs, ear length, neck length, etc…BSL is cool too but not even is there yet. Let us just focus on healthy hair and sooner or later the length will follow. #thankyou
I hate to say it, but this site perpetuates hair porn by only having naturals with thick hair as the style icons.
So they should have a natural with thin hair? Yeah because that’s what every natural chick aspires too- naturally thin hair. Are you freaking goofy or something? Theses sites are a source of encouragement. Only weak chicks whom have self esteem issues ALREADY are the ones steady comparing themselves and growing green with envy and jealousy as-they swear every naturalchick they meet on the strret wears a weave- “because THAT cant be all her hair”- right? The exact types of simple broads who make friendships into some type of one ups womanship type of competition. I can’t stand a weak heffa. Be happy for the next chick and move on. Live your life and wear your hair the best way you know how. How the bleep is that so hard?
I never said that I was jealous. You’re putting words in my mouth.
I don’t believe it’s so much the textures and size ringlets we “crave”, but the idea that someone else may have a complete understanding of how to maintain their locks,( something we all have struggled with at one point or another) and as a result of that we see that they are retaining amazing hair lengths. Now I do not mean to de-glamorize the beautiful and sexy stages of a TWA b/c I loved that stage and rocked mine LIKE A QUEEN but ultimately at every stage of growth most naturals are on YT and other social networks to get to the next level. If this wasn’t the case, there wouldn’t be so many naturals talking about protective styling and proper hair care in comparison to a particular product that will make their hair look like someone else’s. Think about it, when we all had relaxers, did anyone ever envy someone else’s hair limpness or were they more concerned with the length that other person received while their own had been breaking off at every touch-up? We all want healthy “feel down your back” hair and no matter what kind of curl pattern, to a community that has struggled for years with knowing their own hair, seeing someone else accomplish that knowledge is attractive.
HAIR HEALTH + KNOWLEDGE = LENGTH RETENTION <3
This is funny to me. My dad Keith Major is the photographer behind this photo and it’s been all over the internet under natural hair forums. Funniest thing is, that isn’t even that models hair.
I clicked on this article hoping to see pictures of beautiful natural haired women. 🙁
It do what it does…just love your own hair first and admire others secondly! Have a HHJ daily! #simplybeautifulhair
I love hair porn. I love my 4 a-c type hair sticking curly up in a boss fro. Who would have thunk I would be relaxer free?? Not me!! Yippee!
Actually, 4c girls are the ones who usually have that thick ,full healthy look. My version of 4a is fine waist length locs that if they grew outward instead of straight down I would probably cheer them on because then I would have ‘fro locs.
I fell into that trap. Now I just search for girls with my textured hair (4c) which is much harder to find than other textures. They are out there though!
I am actually starting to crave locs now….the longer the better.
[img]https://bglh-marketplace.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/image-6.jpg[/img]
I luv hair porn!!!
I’m the opposite, I want a tighter curl pattern so I can wear a fro. I’m a 3c/4a/4b confused thing. I actually bought an afro half wig lol
No big explaination…its just, isnt this site itself some form of hair porn…or at least are lorn?
My idea of hair porn is healthy vibrant hair regardless of hair texture/type. Infusing the idea that kinkier textured naturals long for looser curls to make what was otherwise a valid point of loving the hair on your head completely disengaged me.
You may be projecting your own feelings about hair type in this article. Congrats on doing your part to keep the divisive spirit alive.
Hmm…I didn’t see it that way but I can see how someone might. There’s nothing wrong with admiring all types of hair. The issues tend to arise when many are not able to separate admiration from negative self comparisons. I went natural in the 90s way before there was anyone else to compare myself too. One of the things that concerns me (and part of the motivation for writing this piece) is the fact that I encounter many women (old and newbie naturals) who aren’t able to find a sense of peace with the hair that they have. Upon further discussion w/ them, it seems many of us spend a lot of time admiring what Someone Else’s hair can do without taking the time to appreciate our own hair. Now this can be true regardless of whether you are a 2A or a 4C. As Black women we live in a society that tells us that unless our hair is naturally straight – it can always be “better”. One of the things I believe we haven’t done as well in the natural hair community is UNlearn many of the belief systems we had when we straightened our hair. So, as someone previously mentioned, we go from yearning for “straight” hair to yearning for a “looser” curl. If that is not your experience then you should feel proud that you’ve managed to avoid some of the very serious issues that many women in the community face.
I am not liking this whole hair “type” thing going on. I don’t look at that. I love a person who wears their hair how they want it when they want it and do it with confidence, if it looks good and feels good who cares what curl pattern it may or may not have. Let’s not let this become another way to box ourselves in and segregate. Isn’t light skin dark skin enough?
I get what you are saying but it’s a bit too idealistic. Curl envy is real and affects some people’s self perception negatively. You might not experience it but many other women do.
I think we are encouraged to be hair envious through this curl movement that began with Miss Jessie’s alongside the Internet community of blogs, hair forums, tumblr, instagram and YT. We’re bombarded with images of the ‘ideal’ natural hair which can make us feel that our hair is less than ideal. It’s because we deal with our own hair everyday and from the Internet, we are always getting the good side of people’s hair stories. How many girls on YT show their style failures or struggles. It saddens me that people make 4cs the poster girls of hair envy. Do 4as and 3s not have hair envy too? I have long learned to care about looking after my hair as it is. I’ve seen natural Internet icons come and go from Mahoghany Curls, Hair Crush, LongHairDC, Nap 85 to ChiselleCouture, Ms Heather Nicole, Rustic Beauty, Moptop, Leobody5 and the rest. Watching them may have given me tips or ideas but those were ones that worked for their hair because they had taken the time to figure their hair out and learn to manage it. I used to watch those that were not 4C and i do now but not in the same way as before. I believe I cannot learn my hair’s needs through watching hair that is nothing like it so now I watch non-4c occasionally just as I might watch fashion vloggers that do ot have the same personal style as myself or share my ethnicity. To me, its the same thing. Once I X out of the video or blog or tumblr etc, I’m alone with my hair and I think that’s a realisation everyone eventually comes to and they decide to either stay natural or relax/weave whatever to make them happy. I think we can’t easily get over the good hair/bad hair mentality or the very human impulse of wanting what you don’t have/wanting things how you don’t have them but at least the natural hair community of today does embrace kinkier hair in some form. It means that by the time I’m a grandma we may have moved on to hair being less of a sticking point all round.
I know. As a 4c natural, I get really annoyed with all these articles that seem to imply that all or most 4c hair types are full of envy of other types. Or that hair envy is only an issue for 4Cs. Granted, there may be 4c naturals who wish they had other types but that is not me. And that is not many other 4Cs. There are things my 4C hair can do that other hair types cannot do which I love so I have no inclination to envy other types of hair. And I do love all hair types and can watch others with different hair types on YT without being envious. Just enjoying what different types of kinky/curly hair can do. That is my idea of hair porn.
And whatever the hair type, I am certain we all have our struggles. Do we seem to forget that ALL curly/kinky/coily/nappy hair has not the ideal even for white women with curly hair? If you are a 4C or any other hair type with hair envy, you might as well go right to the very “top” and have straight hair envy.
Great article though and something for anyone with hair envy to think about.
You both raise some really interesting points. I’m reminded of Tracee Ellis Ross’ video in which she confessed that she too used to hate her hair. Many of us heard that and were shocked b/c she seems to have that “loose” curl that so many of us are trained to want. One of the things I mentioned in the article is that often the object of our hair lust is someone who has a looser curl than we do. But that means that ANYONE can objectify Someone Else’s hair – regardless of what type of hair they have. This is often a result of wanting what we don’t have. One of the things I write about in my book is the fact that no matter how “loose” the curl or how “light brown” the skin, as Black girls we are taught that there is always room for “improvement.” This is why it is so important that we learn to change the thoughts that are in our heads so we can embrace the hair that is on our heads and love the skin we are in.
I don’t suffer from hair envy. I just adore healthy afro textured hair and confident people who rock what they have.
More Hair Porn Please!!!
Well isn’t that something. I think I have the reverse of hair porn addiction lol when I first went natural I LOVED my hair and still do. My natural hair was so much thicker, vibrant, and HEALTHIER than it has ever been in my life! The first few months I wasn’t really concerned with “someone else’s” hair; I was more interested in the overall health and maintainace of my hair. Now that my hair is in that “in between” phase I’ve been able to try many different style as my length allows me to. Here’s the thing though- I’ve been noticing that my hair is NOWHERE as thick and voluminous as these beautiful ladies I see everyday. It’s hard not to have hair envy now because I don’t see many fine/thin haired naturals. Even when I read some of these women’s articles I don’t think I’ve once came across a natural who doesn’t describe their hair as “thick” or “dense” lol makes me think that there’s something wrong with my hair or is that just me?
I know exactly what u mean my hair is fine as well and I wonder y I seem to be the only one that describes my hair as thin while everybody elses is nice and thick
Hahaha I can totally relate to that. I’m still looking for videos for people who have thin and non voluminous hair like mine but it’s hard to come by.
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I love Hair Porn.. I had no idea or even of what my hair could be before… I’m 44 and got my first relaxer at 19.. always pressed my hair my hair stayed about 10 inches… thought that was normal.. I have been natural for 5 years got over 12 inches in 2 years but had to cut it all off.split ends(used to snatch the knots)…made tons of mistakes did lots of starting over.. but I now know my hair grows well over 6 inches a year and that I can have the longer hair that I always wanted but never realized was possible.
honestly i never had “hair envy” ( i mean i admired other people’s hair but i was in love with mine) till i started hair typing, something i truly regret. It all started with a friend of mine who has a hair texture and length similiar to mine that i must be 4a. And that ruined it all for me because i started examining my hair and you know how confusing that can get. I just thought i had type 4 hair i didn’t care about the letters. Honestly the hair typing thing confuses the heck out of me. I just have the typical type 4 hair and when i had that mindset i never tried to get my hair to act like 4a hair or w/e. Anyway i’m almost back to enjoying my hair as it was before when i didn’t care about defined curls, and what not. I just loved wearing my hair out. So i’m gonna start wearing my hair out again and rock whatever i got.
This is so me!!!
There comes a point when you have to stop looking at other peoples hair care and practices and do your own. Acceptance begins when you just get in there and try some things out. I know its rough dealing with short – shrunken hair that seems thirsty all (the time. But it can only get better if you screes what is bothering you the most. Simply just looking for 4cs or 3bs hair twins isn’t good enough. They are enjoying their hair cause they have accepted their hair in its. natural state and foundvways to make. it work. You have to do the same. Educate yourself.
Well, I guess I’m an addict, but I will say I look at hair of my type (4c) instead of others. All natural hair is beautiful and amazing; full of versatility! I have learned a long time ago that my hair is my hair and I love it the way it is. I don’t find myself being jealous of the next natural, but hopeful that mine will one day be as long and remain healthy.
Hair typing isn’t bad it just depends on how you use it. If I’m searching the web (blogs, forums, youtube, ect.) trying to find new style or regimen ideas and I generically search “natural hair” I might end up taking advice or trying to achieve the same results a women who can wet their hair throw on some hair milk shake and go, OR women who wet their hair add a leave-in, creame, oil and slather on handfuls of shea butter when my hair won’t look like either of theirs. We also have to take things in to account like whether our hair is course, fine, thick, thin, or porous when searching other naturals because just because someone has the same “hair type” (1,2,3 or 4/ a,b or c) as you doesn’t mean you can achieve the same things.
All this is true only if you start from the point that hair porn leads to jealousy.
What if hair porn was supposed to lead to admiration of an art piece ?
Admiration of the variety of hair : textures, styles, colors. Hair beauty is rich, this should make us want to use our unique potential to its fullest, don’t you think ?
Inspiration, whatever the field, should help us to go further, not bitter.
(sorry for my english, I’m still learning this beautiful language)
This is why I am pro-hair typing. It’s helpful to know what hair styles are possible for MY hair type. When I decided to go natural, I first did dreadlocks because I was still afraid of accepting what my natural curls would look like. I had never seen my hair not severely heat damaged due to pressing or not permed. My reason for finally deciding to cut my locs was when I saw a picture of Esperanza Spaulding with a blown out afro that looked like a glowing halo of hair. I wanted hair like THAT! Luckily, we’re both 4A, so it worked out, and I actually do have hair like THAT! However, my natural hair journey might have progressed differently had I hair crushed on Tracey Ellis Ross. This is also why I have learned nearly everything I know about my hair from Naptural85 and Natural Chica.
I agree. Hair typing is just an initial step to get you to headed in the right direction. Once there however, you then have to learn strictly the characteristics of YOUR hair! Even within a hair type there are different characteristics such as density, thickness (or lack thereof), porosity, etc. that will cause your hair to act differently than the hair of your same hair type sister standing next to you!
Bottom line…embrace YOUR beautiful uniqueness. Great article BGLH
I have a love hate relationship w/ hair typing. On the one hand I think it can be a really useful tool for the reasons you both mentioned. I get worried though when people use hair typing as another means of hair envy (i.e. Damn, I’m a 4C and I reeeeeeaaaaaaaaly wish I was a 3A!). Every tool (like the typing system) can be used for positive or negative – I guess it just depends on whose using the tool.
Funny thing is, I get SOO jelly of other people’s hair, styles and the whole shabang…but then when I put my hair away, (weaves, braids, whatever) I miss my own hair SOOOO much. I can’t lie…I love my lil twa!
I thought hair porn was just admiring hair of other naturals wether that was your own texture or a different texture. I had no idea it meant to be enviable or jealous of another hair type. LOL
Wow – this was so true and so deep…and reinforced by the compliments I receive when rock my protective styles vs the “crickets” I receive when I rock my own thick, 4C natural hair. This is so hard…and I am very public (I MC, am on air, ect.)…my persona matters.
Thank you Jewell. I have the same experience. People will rush to compliment my two strand twists and twist outs, etc. They use words like “pretty hair”, etc. But when I rock my nappy 4C Afro IF I get comments it’s usually with words like “strong” “Black and proud”, LOL. I think as more of us come out of the natural hair closet this will begin to change. But even if it doesn’t, I love rocking my Afro!
Hmm it’s still gonna take a long time for me to love my natural hair.
Layla, just remember – it is a PROCESS. One that doesn’t necessarily happen over night. One thing I found helpful was to take each stage of my natural hair growth as it came. Instead of always looking towards what was COMING – I tried to focus on being in the present moment and learning how to love what IS. Easier said than done but you have a great community here of similarly situated women that can be a great support network. If nothing else, just know that it is normal to feel that way. Especially when you live in a society that makes loving the hair that grows out of your head a challenging thing!
I thought that we were going to get to see some hair porn when I clicked on this article, aww nuts!
LOL – Sorry Bspycee. I was trying to address the Hair Porn addiction w/o adding to it! 🙂
lol i think this article is a bit too stressed,i watch youtube videos on natural hair alot and even go on instagram to search “natural hair” or “fro” virtually almost everyday to see beautiful hair but i do not have hair envy.i just look at the hair, appreciate God’s handwork and move onto the next one lol.I have thick 4c hair n ive always known that and i was still very eager to go natural because i know my 4c hair can give me the sickest afro in at least 2 years. N the part that says we all went natural because we wanted to accepted ourselves… well i dunno about everybody else but the MAIN reason i went natural was just to have my own fro and right from when i was little ive always thought natural hair was beautiful.So i really dont think hair porn is harmful if you know your hair,what it can do and what you want.
This article probably wasn’t for you then. I’ve experienced hair envy and I know I’m not the only one. Some folks need a bit of encouragement and others, like yourself, don’t find it hard to love their hair right away. I believe this article is geared towards the former.
Too late! I’m in too deep. Lol I’m already subscribed to African Export, LongHairDontCare2011 and Chimes YouTube channels. What I did was seek out people with a hair grade like mine. I don’t envy them- I look to them as inspiration. They help me to remember my hair goals and because they made it- I know I can too. 🙂
I love this! The difference between envy and looking to Someone Else’s hair for inspiration can be a fine line. Glad to see you have a great approach!
Hi my name is Michelle and I used to be a hair porn addict.
Hey Michelle 🙂
I better stop visiting BGLH then! Lol. Honestly, as the above poster said, I visit several hair sites daily. It’s out of habit now more than anything, but I do come away frustrated; ‘Why can’t my hair look like that when I do this’ I def get hair envy. But at the same time I love looking at the images and reading articles, so catch 22 really lol.
My thing is that I was frustrated with my hair BEFORE the transition because I knew I was getting the 4C, no curl pattern, ‘harder’ to manage, ‘no movement’ hair type and I honestly didn’t want that. Right now, fully transitioned, I love my hair, but it’s on and off – there are times where I wish it was a looser texture if I’m honest. But I think that’s part and parcel of being human, we’re never really 100% satisfied with anything. I also wish I had longer calves & a flatter stomach lol. That’s life.
Oh no! We try our best to highlight a variety of hair textures so that the ‘hair porn’ aspect is diminished a bit.
It is also the reason we began dividing up our style icons by hair type and length.
For 4C hair: https://bglh-marketplace.com/?cat=797
For 4B hair: https://bglh-marketplace.com/?cat=796
For short natural hair: https://bglh-marketplace.com/?cat=965
For medium length natural hair: https://bglh-marketplace.com/?cat=966
I hope this helps!
Leila
THANK YOU BGlH but I see you haven’t featured 4D YET and its relatively unknown, I used to tell myself mine is 4C based on the fact that all these blogs seem to refer to it as the kinkiest of them all, I beg to differ so if there are any 4C’s worrying about their “nappy as a ball of twine hair” how about some of us with ” kinky as a wire brush hair” sometimes I even envy type 4C hair well so if you may please feature 4D you may help a lot in overcoming hair porn addiction. <3
May you please have a section for fine haired naturals. Can I get a witness,scalpy twists sister?!!!
The scalpy twists are so real… I just had to omit that style out of my life lol
Omg YESSS!! Please do another article for us BGLH! :))
May you please have a section for fine haired naturals. Can I get a witness,scalpy twists sisters?!!!
Don’t worry, I was only being silly! Lol. I love BGLH! 🙂
And thank you for the links.
AnonSince87, I feel your pain! I think the key is to get to a place where we can “admire” w/o the “envy” – does that make sense? It can be tough – that’s why I was serious when I spoke about finding several things each day that you love about your OWN hair. When the envy hits you can remind yourself of your growing list of “Reasons-Why-I-Love-My-Hair” to keep the green-eyed monster at bay! 😉
Such a good idea!
I go to several natural hair sites a day (true story) and I must say more often than not,I’m left with hectic hair envy and overwhelmed with a new ‘rule’ every other day so I’m going to stop with the hair porn.
Hey DreamGirl! I feel you. I’ve logged a lot of hours gazing at Someone Else’s hair. Just remember to focus on appreciating the awesome hair you have and don’t let all of those “rules” ruin your day
Preach it! Although what you wrote made me laugh at times there is so much truth in it and these are wise words to live by for those of us (maybe most of us) with this hair porn addiction. Isn’t that just human nature though? To never be satisfied with what you have? The grass is greener,etc etc. I couldn’t tell you how many white girls have told me my hair was ‘amazing’or ‘sooo cool’ (I’m dating myself w/that last one hehe)and I was puzzled as to why. Their hair seemed ‘easier’ to deal with. But then I became a natural and started gaining new appreciation for my hair and that’s when my hair porn addiction started. It was only once in a while so I reasoned it was fine but that once in a while still would take massive amounts of time from other things that needed to be done. This article has really made me think about it though and the fact that there is no ‘silver bullet’ to someone else’s hair. There’s mine and I need to give it more tlc, more love and more appreciation. Cus the truth is no matter what we feel like we struggle with when it comes to our hair (and I’m sure all of us have some thing) there is someone out there that thinks it’s beautiful in all it’s natural glory so why can’t we?!
Thanks Michelle! Glad you liked the article. This statement really hits home for me: “This article has really made me think about it though and the fact that there is no ‘silver bullet’ to someone else’s hair. There’s mine and I need to give it more tlc, more love and more appreciation.” I’m all for admiring Someone Else’s hair – just not at the expense of my own “hair-esteem.” Like I said in the article, the Creator had a ton of options to choose from when designing our hair texture. The texture each of us ended up with really is the PERFECT one for us!