Forget #TeamLawrence vs #TeamIssa; Why #TeamBlackWomen Won the First Season of 'Insecure'

Many black women are still in recovery from the season finale of Insecure, the critically acclaimed brainchild of Issa Rae. On social media it’s not uncommon to come across black women who shed tears during the penultimate scene, when Issa’s bitter and disillusioned ex-boyfriend Lawrence is seen vigorously sexing someone else. Since then, the internet has lit up with countless think pieces on who was right and who was wrong. Did Lawrence deserve to be cheated on after his several-year stint of ‘aint shitness’ on the couch? Was Issa wrong for sexing Daniel while Lawrence was in the midst of getting his shit together? Adding to the complexity is Rae’s own admission that she was deliberate about making the situation morally ambiguous. As a result, whatever side you’re on, both characters’ actions are kind of hard to completely defend.

In the midst of this all, one thing seems to have been forgotten. — #Teamblackwomen was the real winner of Insecure‘s first season. Because for the first time in a long time our experiences were central. Not passed through a mainstream media or black male lens. Not relegated to the side chick or the side kick. Black womanhood was front and center with no apologies and no filter.

Issa Rae and co-star Yvonne Orji, who plays Molly, are dark-skinned black women. That they are also loved and desired, however imperfectly, is a given. It’s not a plot device or a wink to the audience. The hashtag #MELANINGODDESS doesn’t flash across the screen every time they appear.

Instead, we enter a world where the desirability of these women, as life and sexual partners, is not under question. And in a media unhealthily obsessed with the supposed unlovability of black women, this alone is a huge psychological relief.

Sweeten this with the fact that Issa and Molly entertain a steady (and visually pleasing) stream of suitors, from perfect-assed Lawrence (I know y’all peeped that bathroom scene) to Jidenna. Suitors who are black, Arab, Asian American.

Some might find this unrealistic. I find it familiar AF. I have had countless conversations with black girlfriends, scrolling through matches on OKCupid or EHarmony, trying to discern who may or may not be a creep. In the world of Insecure, that black women date, and date alot, is a given and not up for tortured debate.

And this is not to say the show does not tackle the structural issues we face out in the dating world. From Molly’s racially ambiguous co-worker being wifed up by a black man despite being physically and professionally unremarkable, to the toxic commentary Lawrence’s friends offer about how black women in the old days knew how to sit and take it when their partners were unfaithful and unmotivated, the show offers plenty reminders of the patriarchy and anti-blackness we encounter in pursuit of enriching long-term relationships. But Insecure skillfully balances this with thoughtful commentary on how our own poor personal decision-making contributes to our dating dilemmas. Would things have looked different for Issa had she spoken up early and/or left Lawrence instead of passively remaining in a relationship she didn’t really want? Is Molly’s dogged pursuit of a picture-perfect partner based in reality or fantasy? Towards the end, the show hints that both women could benefit from therapy to sort it all out.

Ultimately, Insecure is a win for black women because it’s our story, imagined, written and executed by one of us. No, black women are not a monolith, but we saw glimpses of ourselves and/or the black women we know in Issa’s anxiety and Molly’s stubbornness, when Issa sat on the couch Netflix and chilling with Lawrence, when both women grappled with the consequences of self-sabotaging decisions. They were always complex, always beautiful, always unapologetically black. And for that reason, we definitely won.