by
Elle D.
Last night, Erykah Badu began a series of tweets agreeing with an article that asserted that young girls should dress in ways that don’t “distract” their male teachers.
The entire thread is incredibly long (it’s 12:30pm the next day and it’s still going) and riddled with retweets and responses from several others, both agreeing and disagreeing with her logic, some of whom the singer engages with.
This particular narrative when it comes to responsibility, sexuality, and girl’s/women’s bodies is nothing new, but it was surprising (and disappointing, in my opinion) to come from someone like Badu, who consistently shares messages of female empowerment and self-love. So yea, when I saw this going down, I thought, “Please, Erykah, log off.”
But some others needed to log off right along with her. While many expressed sincere concern for her stream of consciousness and offered up logical discussion points, others went right for the drag, something that social media thrives and dies off of:
These are just a couple of examples, but the main points were calling her out for being a “rapper baby mama” or naked in her own video as an adult. Now, I’m not sure what her family situation and being naked in a music video have to do with her current Twitter rant, but here we are. Y’all, someone needs to help Erykah out, but we clearly don’t need to go down this path. It seems that every time someone says something that the masses disapprove of on the internet, the e-pitchforks come out, and all bets are off. But just yesterday, Erykah was everyone’s favorite incense touting auntie. It makes me wonder if people are this fickle in real life. Reactions were similar after Ayesha Curry self righteously tweeted about trends and respectability. I get it – dragging people on the internet is “the thing” to do. But it’s not productive, progressive, or feminist. I think this sums it up pretty well:
And this tweet ultimately is how I currently feel about this entire thing:
Erykah, please – I “didn’t know,” but I would like you to stop going “on & on,” take a “window seat” because we’re in “danger.”
What do you all think of Badu’s tweets and the responses? Do you think people go too far when they disagree with someone on the internet?
30 Responses
A student wearing a burqa and being told they are enticing men or somehow responisible for any unwanted sexual advances is wrong. A student wearing a mini skirt and being told they are responsible for enticing men or responsible for any unwanted sexual advances is wrong.
However please tell me when it became exceptable for children to wear inappropriate clothing to school or anywhere for that matter? Are you saying batty riders for all kids in school now?
You can nurture our young men to see women differently all day long (which is a good thing I agree) but in reality some not all but some men and women will be attracted to the females. I get the point that actually this seems to place the responsibility on the girls and I definately think it shouldn’t.
I do think though that we the care givers have the responsibility to see our young people are protected. It doesn’t sit well with me watching girls hiking your their skirts. They also need an education to be more than what society shoves down their throats as sexy.
Also we like to downplay the fact that we do operate on our basic urges a lot of the time, while also knowing right from wrong.
Erykah is a little old school a bit like myself because to be honest I wouldn’t want my daughter dressing where the majority of her skin is showing unless she intends to go to the swimming pool or beach. But it isn’t always about how girls/women are dressed but the mindset of young/older men. I’m really concerned at how a lot of these young men are negatively dealing with the females in today’s society. More so today because of what social media or media in general is pushing out, a lack of respect for real relationships between the 2 sexes and not seeing first hand, which should begin in the home, of how they should operate. Equally I’m concerned for the females lack of self esteem believing that they have to dress and act in a provocative way which in turn attracts the wrong type of attention much of the time. It’s tough out there but the best thing we or can do is educate the boys as much as the girls amidst all of the influences in society.
I’ve been thinking on such matters on the off chance that I may one day have a daughter. I do not approve of the policing of women’s dress, yet I cannot lie, I wouldn’t want my daughter to dress in an overly sexual manner while still in her teenage years, I guess, because I wouldn’t think of her as a woman yet!
What is missing is the notion that young girls have the responsibility to control grown men who can’t or won’t exercise self control. It’s now the responsibility of young girls to not arouse male teachers…more patriarchy bs. Men found messing with young girls should be fired and never ever given the opportunity to teach as this goes under the heading of pedophilia. Do men ever have any responsibility for their actions???
So can we nurture our young men to see women differently to not make
this a fucking problem in the first place. A student could wear a
fucking burqa, get assaulted, and be told it was her fault for making
eye contact. Stop trying to reduce human beings with the ability to know
right from wrong into nothing but animalistic urges.
I agree that raising the conciousness of those who are vulnerable would be effective, its true. I still don’t get whats wrong with children covering themselves, whats wrong with that? I do get that this will not end the problem of sexual preditors but why is it a bad thing? Anyway I retire now, I still reckon the backlash just because of who she is.
Um… what about cases where female teachers sleep with male students? I wonder what she has to say about that. After all, according to her, we as adults are all sexual beings, right. She seems to have forgotten about the fact that clothes are a small factor in the development of relationships between teachers and students. Maybe we should ask the students to cover their faces too. To be honest, I think that educating young girls and boys about the wrongfulness and warning signs of pedophilia is probably far more effective then just lowering a skirt. We need to raise consciousness in those that are vulnerable and address all their vulnerable points not just cover it up with more cloth. Her rant seems inadequate to me.
You are absolutely correct. Badu literally excuses pedophilia in the name of slut shaming teen girls, and it is sickening.
This. People need to effing stop this nonsense and quit trying to put the blame for men’s inability to control themselves on young girls and women. NEWS FLASH: We are all human and ALL have urges and desires, but some of us have the decency, self-control and intelligence not to act on them.
I think all students should be dressed modestly because they’re in school. Duh. You should not be in class with booty shorts, mini skirts, skin tight leggings as pants and your stomach hanging out. Believe me I tried to get away some of this stuff in school and they made me call my mom to bring me some different clothes. Adults need to enforce this. My opinion has nothing to do with male teachers.
Rose, why label adult males as paedophilic? Of course it does depend on the age of the girls but let’s be clear I thought she was talking about young adults. All genders should be taught self-respect and modesty. When you’re grown people can ditch the modesty if they like that’s their business.
For the most part boys wear trousers so you can’t really see their private parts can you? You can see up a girls skirt therefore common sense dictates they should protect themselves and yes be modest until they are adults. It’s got nothing to do with allowing men to be dumb or subjugating women.
Now in regards to your distain of Erykah’s “baby daddies.” How dare
you? What does the amount of children’s fathers she has have to do with you or this topic? Your comment was not only rude and mean spirited but shows an
intelligence deficit.
I like her music and individual style but again this has nothing
to do with her comments. We are all allowed to have an opinion, why attack her
for it? Don’t be a dumb, dumb……sorry I couldn’t help myself, I just found what you said so rude. I half withdraw the dumb, dumb comment.
Why are adult males so pedophilic? Why are men not expected to be anything more than dogs, pedophiles, and morons? We need to hold males to a higher intellectual standard. Do we ever tell boys to cover up so women teachers aren’t distracted? No. It is because from birth, women are taught to, and demanded to, have higher standards and common sense. This whole “girls should dress modestly” stems from that same higher standard girls are demanded to have from birth. I hate males who are so dumb they only think with their penis. I hate a society in which males are allowed to be this dumb. Badu is a lazy pseudo-intellectual. Her music is trash and she has how many baby daddies by now?
We should definitely need toteach our young girls modesty and the key words would be “young girls”, at a young age we should be teaching our young daughters that they are more than just their bodies and regardless of how we would like the world to think Men and boys their age sometimes dont have pure thoughts. Ya’ll act like ya mama didn’t tell you pull your dress down or that skirt it to short. Why argue about something that sholdnt even be a thought? What purpose does wearing short skirts for young girls bring to anyone? Is it growing their mind? Helping them to be a better student? SMH. Big ups to Ms Badu!
I agree. First point is that teachers should have and demonstrate self-control. That’s should be a given. However in reality, that doesn’t happen. People have developed sexual deviancy. some have been abused , and so act out . Some have malleable morals and don’t see anything wrong with it. Others still have chemical imbalances. Now rest assured, Wyncott they will pay the full penalty of their actions. But this is a situation where an ounce of prevention can also prove better than a pound of cure .
That prevention starts with teachers getting help or choosing a different career if they cannot abstain. And it also involves students dressing more appropriate for the occasion.
Will that prevent all rapes? Doubtful . Someone who has decided to commit a crime will do so regardless of what they fear of the consequences . However a ounce of prevention is worth more than a pound of cure . I think part of that prevention also includes discretion on the students part .
Also saying grown men shouldn’t be attracted by teenage girls is a joke. Of course they shouldn’t act on it but I think you’ll find that in some instances both grown men and grown women are unfortunately attracted to teenagers. They shouldn’t act on it of course but lets be realistic at least.
Neenee I agree with you 100%. Whats wrong with what Eryka said? They are children. Their caregivers should ensure that their skirts are longer at school so that when then bend over, sit down or if their is a gust of wind then you can’t see up their skirt! For goodness sake they are not grown! Older men, woman and young adults are sexual, its not a bad thing its natural. No one is saying girls should wear a bloody hijab! Just extend the skirt lengh until there are classed adults. I would have though at least thouse with children would agree. Perhaps its because its Erykah people want to make a fuss and shoot her down but in my humble opinion she’s all the way right.
Grown men shouldn’t be distracted by teenage girls in skirts and if they are that is all them and has nothing to do with the girl. That being said if they want a dress code they should have one as long as they don’t enforce in a way in which they are messing up the educational experience of female students because the men that are supposed to educating them can’t manage to think with their brain rather than their penis.
Besides, long skirt does not guarantee protection from male gaze.
Fake deep Badu strikes again. Social media stays exposing your faves LOL and I am so here for it.
Damn, miss.Badu think before u press “send.”this is too ignorant of a statement to have come from for a person who seems intelligent. This is clearly what I mean whenever I say ” social media isn’t for everyone.”
Why is this a problem? Please someone explain to me why teaching your daughter modesty at a young age is so wrong? Folks are so feministic that we forget we should also be taught that our bodies are sacred and not for everyone. There is nothing wrong with covering up, these ARE CHILDREN we talking about. Not grown women. Can we keep it classy at least til they grow up and show out. I’m Not Saying it’s our Job to make the male teachers mote comfortable. But let’s face it, they are just men. They have dicks. Teaching your daughter self respect is not a slap in the face of feminism, so calm down. Jeezus.
The issue is, she is making the problem about young girls. The larger point is women and girls are constantly told how to dress, how to act, how to look in order to not distract or “provoke” attention from men. The fact is, even if every woman wore knee length skirts, no make up and long shirts men would still be attracted to women. We shouldn’t be policing what women do with their bodies, the issue should be telling men to keep their comments (and their hands) to themselves. If a man is attracted to a woman, that’s his business, but that doesn’t give him the right to harass or attack her (and the sad fact is when violent incidents occur, people shift the blame to the woman–what was she wearing?…what did she say?…, that’s why Ms. Badu’s why of thinking is so dangerous).
And we really shouldnt have to tell young girls how to dress inorder to prevent men from looking at them. It’s not the girls responsibility to exercise self control and be a professional, that’s the adults responsibility!! Too often society (including other women) blame women and girls for the inappropriate (and sometimes criminal) actions of men.
Wearing longer skirts doesn’t make one classier and it certainly prevent predators from attacking young women. I’m sure you know that it doesn’t matter what women wear, if a predator wants to attack them, they’re going to attack them – long skirt or not. This is not feminism – this is simple statistics…
Also let’s not degrade men to being “just men” and using that “oh they’re just boys” as an excuse, women are sexual creatures as well. How about instead of preaching modesty to young women, we preach self discipline and respect to young males??
Right! I think all she was saying is that it is important that young ladies are aware of their bodies and how you r dressed may affect the way u are perceived and the way people treat you. I agree, I will teach my daughter the same thing. Awareness is power! We shouldn’t have to worry about how grown men are looking at their young students, but unfortunately we do. Most of yall wouldn’t let your daughters go to school with booty shorts ,tights with a spaghetti strap cami on with everything spilling and popping out of her clothes because it’s not appropriate for school…so it’s the same thing. . Also, curry was not being self righteous….yall really need to relax.
Some people don’t think the same way you do. They don’t feel the same way about the female body you do. As easily as her body s sacred it came become un-sacred. Wear a shirt too short, something too tight, attract the gaze of the wrong man or any man, have sex before marriage or go-forbid she’s raped or assaulted, you aren’t classy, not worthy of respect – not because of who you are, a human being that simply exists – but because of the tightness or length of the fabric you wore.
It’s a fine line and placing a girls body with that sort of rules in the first place.
**The weight of the responsibility of trying to control a grown man’s gaze shouldn’t reside on the shoulder of a child.** The whole root of the rule is because it’s distracted to other, male teachers and student. If I can stay focused as a women and not stare at dicks all day with every guy that walks by so can others. If they or I can’t then it’s a personal probably. If kids can’t focus or teaches can’t do their job ’cause they’re staring a girls in shirts then that’s a problem they need to have discussed with a professional.
agreed 1000% this is empowering! as a woman you have a role to play in how people see you and how they treat you. what you wear sends a message. and if you are in school wear clothing that allows you and others to best focus on the reason you are there. n lets stop pretending HS ‘kids’ are just ‘children’ or babies ?! when i was in HS almost 20 years ago ppl were having sex, doing drugs and thinking they were grown. a 16 year old has the body of a grown woman. not only that she has the body that most grown women want to have and most grown men want to be with. so until she has the mentality of a grown woman she needs to be nurtured and told how to carry herself so as not to attract the attention of grown men.
Bye @ this keep it classy argument. Why are you always focused on the women??? Why is this always a one-sided argument?? Why are folks constantly lecturing women on class? why don’t you lecture men on self-control and self-respect? Go to Saudi Arabia and every other conservative country in the Middle East. Women are literally covered up from head to toe but these countries still have high rates of rape, domestic abuse and sexual abuse against women.
You are immensely naive and flat-out ignorant if you think teaching your daughter self-respect is all it takes to end sexual abuse and exploitation of young girls. Would I want my daughter to wear a short skirt? Absolutely not. But not every girl wearing a short skirt is asking to be abused or solicited.
Children go through different phases of rebellion and growth regardless of how morally upright their parents are. A young girl going through puberty and rebellion SHOULD NOT BE BLAMED for being preyed on by an older male teacher because she is wearing a short skirt. School is a safe haven for them to learn and grow. These teachers should be adult enough to guide these students through their growth process, not hitting on them. I am sorry, it is that simple. And the fact that you people will sit here and say otherwise shows how patriarchy has imprisoned some of you. I just cannot believe the BS I am reading. GOODBYE!!!
Aside from you pushing your concept of ‘modesty’ on other folks, I’m just gonna ignore that and get to the root of the issue here.
This is putting the onus on young women, children, to protect themselves against adult predators. This is rape culture. This is teaching young girls at very young ages that men and boys are not responsible for keeping their hands and eyes and dicks to themselves, but they are. Men are at the whims of nature like undomesticated animals, and women are supposed to carry themselves like covered up saints. Instead of teaching both sexes and genders, ‘keep your hands to yourself. don’t catcall. don’t harass.’ it’s all on young women.
This in turn, perpetuates a cycle that goes from seemingly innocent warnings like, ‘don’t wear that outfit, you’ll get the wrong kind of attention,’ to ‘she wore that outfit to the club and didn’t expect to get harassed.’
At its worst, women are raped and then told that they were inviting predators because of how they carried themselves. At its least worst, it starts like this.
Predators gonna prey, wearing a burqa or wearing a miniskirt ain’t gonna stop that. Education does. Seeing all genders and sexes as equals does. Learning to respect each other as people and not objects to act upon does.
Umm how does self respect correlate to wearing a longer skirt simply to make sure teachers don’t get hard-ons? Teaching self-respect has nothing to do with clothing. Decades ago it was respectful for women to have absolutely no skin showing because people believed men couldn’t control themselves. No one needs to be taught that bodies are sacred unless that’s what you believe. And a woman’s body can be given to whomever she chooses. No there’s nothing wrong with covering up if that’s how you feel most comfortable. And yes these are children so if school uniforms are required or a fingertip length policy for skirts and shorts need to be implemented then that’s the school prerogative. But I don’t think people are wrong for getting up set with her for her comments.
Exactly they are MEN as in grown adults. It’s nothing wrong with teaching children modesty, but when you have to teach your little girls to cover up because a grown man doesn’t know how to control himself around her that’s his problem. People never want men to be held accountable for their actions. Men are not animals, they can control themselves. For people to think otherwise is just sad.