By Jermeale of NaturallyLuvly.net
1. If you believe your hair will look like your natural hair crush
We all have our own unique natural hair texture. Your hair won’t look like mine. If you believe using the same hair products as me will give you the same results, then I have a house, car, and boat that I’d like to sell you. Your natural hair may look similar, but there’s no guarantee that you’ll have the hair of your natural hair crush. Remember that!
2. If you haven’t taken the time to research
Whether you decide to big chop or transition, there will be an awkward hair stage. Your hair will be short. If you’re expecting your hair to grow overnight, you need to wake up and embrace the hair you have. There are plenty of sites available to learn about natural hair such as Youtube, Fotki, and Google. Use your search engines!
3. If everyone else’s opinion matters to you
Being natural, you should know that not everyone is going to like your hair. Think about why you are going natural. Are you doing it for yourself? If you are doing it for yourself, then no one’s opinion should matter to you. Confidence is very important when being natural.
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What do you think of these ladies? Do you have any to add?
50 Responses
In 2014 I went natural all through out my childhood I hated my natural hair? my mom always straightened? my hair I didn’t get perms that much either until I reached high school (btw I’m black and Mexican ) and got perms every three or four months my hair was passed my breast. I went to a hair salon. And wanted let’s and the woman who did it REALLY messed my hair up because ever since then it’s never grown back the same I damaged it alot with heat to and then went and got my split ends cut and soon after went natural I liked it at first but it was to hard to manage for me I was natural for about two years. Now I get relaxers again I like my hair this way it’s easier to do really. I am working on trying to grow my hair back though. I stopped using heat as much only once when I get a perm but after that I use hair rollers. Natural just wasn’t for me. And the particular style I go for and how I am and who I am. Just way to hard to do.
I love natural hair. I think it looks lovely. However, I am not ready for it. I don’t think hair needs to have hours dedicated to it. I want to wake up, wash it in the shower and just start my day. I obviously can’t do that with relaxed hair (nor with natural hair), but my hair now gives me so much more freedom. Though my natural hair is said to be beautiful and healthy, my stylist was the one to convince me and my mother to get me a perm. She knew natural hair was too much of a hassle for me, especially with the extremely sensible scalp I had, how easily tangled it became (downside of curls) and my obvious impatience/nervousness.
I think people should do whatever they want with their hair. Natural hair has become so present, people are pressured into it. Those who choose not to are considered weird, not proud of their heritage (as if that means anything) or “missing out”. It’s almost like a competition. Congratulations on being natural, but whatever you want to do with your hair, you rock it and be proud! One’s experience does not dictate everyone’s. I’ve personally never had one issue with perm. Never lost hair, nothing. In fact, my hair just grows and never stops. But getting my hair ready when natural was a serious source of anxiety. Because of that, I do not want to go back to my natural hair, ever. I love my hair relaxed. It fits my lifestyle and doesn’t stress me out.
We need to remember that hair does not make you who you are. You are not a better person or more in touch with your roots because your hair is natural. Hair is merely an accessory nowadays. For some, it’s an important one. For others, not so much. If it wasn’t a comfort source, bet you more females would be bald because hair is that irrelevant to their lives.
Live and let live, have a nice one : )
Don’t go natural if you think you would assault someone for touching your hair without permission. I’d be in jail.
Don’t go natural if people with stupid questions and comments set you off. Really tired of being asked how I made my hair curly. I didn’t. God did.
I didn’t do any research whatsoever before going natural. Neverf braided twisted my hair.
I did everything here and I’m still natural 3 years later, so bye Felicia.
How about this- don’t write a blog post if:
1) it’s ignorant
2) it’s just for clicks/ad money
3) it’s ignorant
Loooooooooool
i love my natural hair! i have 4b hair and its beautiful! Girls natural is best b’coz u get to b urself
I went all natural by accident. I was taking out a quick-weave impatiently, ripping out gobs of hair and a really cute afro emerged so I decided to never relax my hair again…lol!
I went all natural by accident. I was taking out a quick-weave impatiently, ripping out gobs of hair and a really cute afro emerged so I decided to never relax my hair again…lol!
i went natural once by getting the big chop. but my hair was so wild, thick and strong. i almost cried each time i had to braid it. so after a year i relaxed it, i envy others with soft natural hair
Hey Rebekah,
I’m sorry to hear about your first natural experience. Just so you know, MOST women who go natural have a disappointing first experience, or just a bad experience with it at some point.
It’s a steep learning curve. Most of us who “go natural” have never really had to manage our natural hair. And many stylists who deal with relaxed hair have no idea what natural hair is like or how to take care of it.
I like blogs like this, and I also like NaturalMe4c. She has thick, 4c hair and it’s gorgeous. Her hair seems to be a little more coarse than mine, so I use a few different products, but her ideas overall are awesome.
Your first step is to understand what your hair texture is, which you can find on this website or here http://www.naturallycurly.com/texture-typing.
Once you have a better idea what your texture is, then you can have a better idea what your hair needs. Most of use who struggle with moisturizing and detangling, both of which are very, very manageable once you know how to do it.
And keep in mind you can have multiple textures in your hair. I, for example, have 4c hair, but it’s looser along the edges and very tight at the top of my head. It’s just about 4b along the back and edges.
I use the same products for my whole head, just more of them on the top because it tends to be drier because of the tighter curls.
I didn’t figure all this out on my own. I read blogs like this, this one I linked above and others. I watched youtube for hairstyles and how to trim my hair. And I learned about the basics – protecting my hair at night, moisturizing, detangling, conditioning.
Many women who tend to have coarser, thicker hair have been on this site, and they given their routine. Your hair will be different but it’s a good place to start when you decide to try again.
Remember,it’s totally normal to try this and it doesn’t work out. That’s okay. When you decide to try again, you have lots of resources for help 🙂
Jennifer
Honestly i can say that i hate my natural hair. When i was transitioning i was so excited about the possibilities, would it be curly, thick, etc. I took care oh my hair like i was getting paid to do so. These days its just blahh. Its not so much the curl pattern that bothers me because i do have that; its the fact that its so fine. I’m not sure what kind of texture i have on my head because its seems fine most of the time but thick at the same time. no Hairstyles work for me and my hair gets so dry but i really do try to take care of my hair. For the past few weeks my hair has been in Yarn wraps and i love them. I’m going to keep them in as long as possible and then take them out and put in some other type of extensions. I will make a decision later on to figure out whats best for me and that might be relaxing my hair. Its so disheartening though because i never really like my hair relaxed either.ugh
Hey, multi-textured with fine strands here–and boy do I understand your frustration. Fine hair often means no heat, breakage at the drop of a hat, and limits on how you can style (at least it does for me). Have you tried the LOC method to moisturize your hair? Do you moisturize daily? Have you tried short-term protective styling in between long term protective styling? Doing all of the above has helped me retain length…and learn to love my natural hair. You’re still going to have those days where you’re a bit jealous of the versatility coarse-stranded beauties have, but in the end recognizing the awesome things your hair can do (e.g. voluminous fros/puffs) dulls the sting 🙂
I hope that my new go to Protective style will help me retain length because its been 2 years since my last relaxer but my hair is still really short. My hair grows slow so it would be great to retain the hair i do grow.
When i do put my hair in puffs it does look voluminous but i’m so tired of puffs. The sad part is my hair doesn’t look so full of life without the goody bands.
I don’t think research upfront is a deal breaker. I big chopped with no info whatsoever, and kept a TWA for a few years because I got confused by the upkeep of length. My wallet is happy that I didn’t keep relaxing until I knew what was going on, though… those salon visits were expensive!! If you want to go natural do it. The only real reason not to is if it’s someone else’s choice over yours.
And this is a comment on the site: is there any way that you can change the way that the thumb up/down thing appears on mobile devices? There’s no way to zoom in and it’s close to the side so it’s so hard to click the right one! I’ve accidentally thumbs downed a couple of people (sorry!!).
I just happened over her through a story on another site- Just wanted to say that as a 42 year white girl with curly/really wavy hair- I wish I could go natural too- with the hair color part at least. I think almost all women spend an inordinate amount of time worrying about our hair – and yet- a natural looks just that- natural and beautiful and confident. I think you are all beautiful and I am loving the return to the 70’s sexy, lovely, curly hair – it looks great and chemicals are bad- muah!
When I first originally tried to transition, I got spooked because I never knew what my natural hair would look like, and the fact I was so worried about what other people will think. But they there comes a time when you aren’t ready for something, so I waited to try again. Same with waiting to do my BC, until I got comfortable with the idea of my hair being super short. Then it was all gone lol
http://curlycoilygirl.blogspot.com/
If you aren’t willing or too lazy to do the work that natural hair needs, buy the products that it takes to keep your hair moisturized, the styling techniques that it takes to keep your hair looking great, to live a healthy life and just enjoy your unique texture.
I have always done my own hair and always wore it tapered during my relaxed days and I still wear it tapered as a natural, that’s my style. I don’t care for long hair on me as it makes me look very matronly and that’s not the look that I’m going for. I say to each his own.
I’m sorry but the title of this article is quite…misleading. Makes it sound like if you do all 3 things listed, you shouldn’t go natural. I’d change it.
I would include
1) if you have expectations about hair texture.
2) if you don’t have patience.
LOVE number 3!!! I live by that. I know I love my hair, and I know what’s best for me and my hair. No matter how many negative opinions I received I’m still going to do me. No one can’t tell me anything different 🙂
4) If you haven’t had a conversation with your partner.
So you’re planning on making a drastic change to your appearance? Planning on surprising your partner? Not a good idea. This is something worth discussing, as many times as necessary, to help them understand your decision. Show them blogs, pictures, youtube videos, etc. Watch “Good Hair” together. Give them as much info as you have and help them understand why this is important to you. Make sure they are at least included in the dialogue. In the end, being true to yourself and loving yourself is most important. Anyone who truly loves and cares about you will respect that.
5) If you’re not prepared to keep learning.
Your hair is going to change. It’s going to get longer, and thicker, and more dense. The techniques and products you used when you first started may not be effective as this happens.
6) If you think it will be perfect the first time around.
You’ll find quite a few women have tried and failed with natural hair, several times. They started out with the best of intentions and full of excitement and quickly became overwhelmed or frustrated, and returned to whatever they could find to hide their natural hair. This can be part of the process, and you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself if that happens to you. It’s a pretty steep learning curve, and it’s very doable, too. Be patient with yourself, do your homework, and have fun.
7)If you’re unwilling to spend money on products
You’re going to go through products that work and others that don’t. You’ll try this and that, and you will have bottles of old products in your bathroom of failed attempts. It’s okay, and normal. You don’t know until you try.
8)If you haven’t found a stylist in your area you trust
Many women DYI their natural hair, until they need something like a trim. And this is where they hit a snag, because not everyone is comfortable trimming (or dusting) their ends themselves. Fair enough. If possible, find a natural stylist who knows how to trim your hair before you need it. Get a shampoo and conditioning treatment. Go a few times. Look at the clients and how their hair looks. (If they mention ANY form of straightening prior to cutting, blow drying or otherwise, RUN.)
9)If you don’t want to wear a hair scarf at night
It will be next to impossible to retain length and moisture without protecting your hair at night. Yes, it is sexy! Or, at least it can be. It’s all about your attitude. Ideally, you’ll have a hair scarf AND a satin pillow case. Just rock it.
10) If you haven’t tried to change your attitude towards your natural hair.
It’s normal to be apprehensive and uncertain about your natural hair. However, some of us have the attitude that our natural hair is “too coarse” and “too hard to manage” and “too difficult” and “too much.” Change. Your. Mind. If you see your hair as a problem, it will be a problem. If you see it as something beautiful to explore and enjoy, then you’ll get that, too.
Good luck.
Self-love, first, always.
Partners are sometimes as poisonous as family members. My partner said that natural wasn’t health (!!!!!?????!!!!!) and I should get a perm (!!!!!!!!!!). Clearly he prefers chemically altered and weaved up. Neither if which are me, and he knew that when we got together. I was already relaxer free when we git together, but I kept it flat ironed.
Hello Gabriel,
You’re right – partners can be incredibly resistant to a decision to go natural.
Your partner can have an opinion. They may not like your decision. They do, however, need to respect it.
Sometimes it’s about education – seems like your doesn’t know too much about how caustic, abrasive and done right dangerous chemicals used to relax hair are.
Great time for learning, and in teaching those who don’t know, we all gain a better understanding and appreciation for what is important to us.
Self-love, first, always.
Wow. I disagree with 4, 7, 8, and 9. But the others are pretty true.
Number 5 all day, every day. When you’ve found a rhythm get ready for it to skip a beat. APL was my golden length. I could do twist outs for days and always had a good hair day. Now that I’m almost WL, my hair seems to have hit a snag. All I do now are wash n gos and blowouts because that is what my hair responds to best. Also, I had been comb free for a year and half thinking I will never need a comb again and I threw out my denman. Just a few weeks ago, I realized that my hair cannot be detangled with just my fingers and doing such actually causes more damage and harm, and I had to buy a new denman. Since I stopped detangling with my fingers, I’ve noticed less breakage and smoother hair.
I think number 7 and 8 are more so optional. Naturals are notoriously DIY and many have never gone and will never go to stylist. I also disagree with 7 because I think some women get by on like two hair products whether for simplicity or cost. I will add though that, even if you do have a million products that you use and can afford them all, it’s always a good idea to have “recession” proof hair products which are like 2-3 hair products that are a necessity. For me, it’s Shea Moisture shampoo and conditioner (as the conditioner can also be a leave-in) and coconut oil.
I’ve been relaxer free since 2002 but kept it flat ironed. This summer I decided no more heat. MY MOTHER said it looked like I hadn’t combed my hair in days. This was an hour after taking down the flat twists it had been in for two days. Source of all teenage self esteem issues: FOUND! But after cutting off 5 inches and a lit if TLC I am more than happy with my crazy curls.
Yeah, my moms still tells me, “i can’t believe you are wearing your hair nappy like that.” Blank stare. BC’d in 2005.
I big chopped almost 14 years ago and the information out there was no way as accessible as it is today. After viewing hundreds of videos and deleting multiple hair pages, I feel safe to say you have to be in tune with what your body is telling you. Trial and error, and keep it simple <3
I think we can all admit there are some things we do or have done with our hair that just didn’t need research, but just. FELT. right. Am I the only black woman who has had moments of pure epiphany with her afro hair?!
Exactly!
I was #s 2 and 3. I lived and I learned and I cried and I re-permed and I lost hair and I made mistakes and I finally found my self-esteem and the beauty of my hair. The journey ain’t always pretty, and frankly, research was more of a hindrance for me than a tool, but I survived. Just do it and live it! Stop reading articles and getting advice, lol!
I think another one should be added:
Don’t go natural if you have never styled/”done” your hair or anyone else’s.
If you don’t know how to braid, twist, or otherwise style your hair, you may be setting yourself up for failure. It’s not impossible to have a successful natural journey, but it may be twice as difficult. Believe it or not, there are women out there who have never even washed their own hair before. They have been going to salons every two weeks since they were 5 years old. So to go from total dependence on salons to DIY is rough. And there’s not a natural hair salon in every town and city to cater to that type of dependence.
That’s where the research comes into play.
Agree with Bri. I had never twisted or braided my hair until I went natural, not even repairing a plait. I had a family member teach me and then youtube. Research is all that is needed. Just because you don’t know something now doesn’t mean you are incapable of learning.
being natural does not equal DIY. there are stylist and salons who can help and people can learn over time if they insist on being DIY….
Idk, eveeytime I go to the salon I feel like I wasted my mind. Natural hairstyles simply don’t last long enough.
I think you might be partly right. I had a very hard time for a long time. I would rather just do braids. Where I live there are no salons and who can afford that any ways. I youtube it for a long time and then just watched my hair…I hate my hair and its to much work…but I would rather not have a perm…ever.
this is absolutely horrible advice. don’t do your hair unless you’ve done your hair before, is what you’re basically saying. what the HECK in hades kinda sense does that make? that’s like when every company has a requirement that in order to be considered for employment, you must have like, 5 years prior job experience doing exactly that. the problem? if every company demands this, then how is one to gain experience doing something they havent’ done before unless, (here’s a thought) someone take a chance and hire someone to give them said experience? the same with your hair. you’re never gonna learn if you don’t do it, even if that means working with your hair for the first time. that’s a given, that there’s always gonna be a first. and if you take care of your hair, there will be infinitely many times. but even if you don’t take good care of it, you’re still almost guaranteed a second attempt, a third, a fourth, and so on.
so ladies, it’s okay to do your hair if you’ve never done your hair before. it’s called a learning curve, and every natural, including those that have always been natural (such as myself) has had to traverse it.
I thought Sonya meant ‘don’t go natural before actually becoming informed on how to do hair.’ While this might not be true in most cases, I wished I had gone natural armed with a good styling skill set. I’m 4c and just learned to do flat twists and cornrows which give me more styling options, more protective style ideas, I’m not as afraid of doing my hair and it’s really opened up my hair options. I can’t believe anyone would say don’t go natural if you can’t do hair period. I really thought she meant that you should arm yourself with skills that can make things easier.
My mum did the same thing too! She had long natural hair and I hated mine, the length and texture. I was sad all the time and I would touch it and play with it and wish every strand was mine and I had terrible self esteem..then she just cut it so we grow together
“mothers are just angels!
#2 is not necessary. I had micro-braids, was too lazy to take out, and cut my hair. I been natural for 14 years. No research necessary.
@ Aly Yessssss, please do research especially if a person hasn’tstyled their own hair since the early teens….i spent two to three weeks online no less than five hours online, looking a videos, blogs, vloggs etc. I was still a bit nervous but not as clueless……so it helps to research BEFORE a big chop or how to transition without hair loss. #researchitcanBeempowerment!
I didn’t do my research either before I decided to go natural. I decided to transition kind of on a whim because I was tired of getting a perm (and quite frankly felt there were better things to spend my money on) and I couldn’t remember what my natural texture was really like. I tend to be a go-with-the-flow type of person so I just dove in head first (no pun intended) and I’m really glad I did. In the process I learned to appreciate my hair for what it is, but I can see how doing some research could be important, especially if you have certain expectations for how your natural hair “should” be.
I didn’t do research either…the lady at the salon chopped off my hair without me knowing it and I went with it since the only thing left was new growth ( i was transitioining and didn’t want it chopped off)…glad she did in the end.
I am so sorry, my friend I meant to give you a thumbs up =) +1
I will like your comment twice now 😉
aly, the fact that you’re on this site and read through the article shows that you ARE doing some research. You wont need to research if your parents taught you how to take care of your natural hair and so you already know most things. But most of us grew up with parents who didnt know what they were doing so we need to do our research.
Great Article Jermeale
themanecaptain.blogspot.ca
i don’t find number two necessary. why should you have to research how to care for your hair, just to go natural? i never did and my hair turned out fine and is fine.
I did all this when I went natural.
1.) I expected to have a fro like Pam Grier in her Foxy Brown movies. I love that Fro. Sorry Pam, but I like Teyonah Parris’ fro now.
2.) I never researched natural hair. When the stylist cut all my hair off she told me no more hot showers. I didn’t know what the heck that even meant, and I still don’t because I love steamy showers to this day.
3.) I didn’t have that much confidence when I went natural. However, my mother who had been natural off and on throughout her years, cut all her hair off with me so I wouldn’t have to do it alone. I never asked her…she just did it on her own.
The reason though I think going natural stuck with me. Is because those were not my only reasons for going natural. I also did it for myself (sick of relaxers damaging my hair), and for then 1 year old daughter; so she would have a good example to look up, be confident with the way she looks, and so I could learn to do her hair. Those reasons prompted me to research natural hair care. Along with that I developed confidence. I figured if my duaghter saw that I am uncomfortable with my hair then she would be too. As far as hair crushes…I never cared about anyones texture. It’s the styles that catch me.
Your comment made me smile. I really like that your mum is going on the journey with you and you are also inspiring your daughter.
The article is on point! A person must know their hair is different and won’t look the same as other naturals. Yes, do your research and have plenty of confidence! No matter who, what, when, or where others say or do about your hair, it is your hair–take good care of it and LOVE IT!