by
Black Girl With Long Hair
There are debates about whether relaxed or natural hair is easier to maintain. Whichever it is, the fact remains that both require consistent and thoughtful maintenance. Unless you’re rocking a protective style that only needs a light spritz in the morning or evening, you’re going to be actively managing your hair every day. Whether it’s re-twisting or re-braiding, re-sealing, or using dozens of bobby pins to work your poof into an updo, you will have to do something to your hair to make it cute. A couple notes; this does depend on length. The shorter your hair is the less you’ll have to do with it, styling wise. Also, there are some naturals whose texture allows them to sleep on their hair at night, shake it out in the morning and walk out the door… but it should be noted that those are a small minority.
All you need is shea butter, right? Not quite. There are endless options for deep conditioners, leave-ins, sealants, spritzes, styling serums, and the list goes on. Some products might work perfectly, but cause your skin to break out or be too expensive or require you to order from a small company that takes weeks to ship. Or you might keep striking out on products that seem to be the holy grail for everyone else. On top of all this is the reality that, despite Target and Whole Foods’ amazing success in putting natural hair products in hundreds of their stores — there are countless other great natural hair brands that still don’t have wide distribution (Oyin, anyone??) This issue becomes even tougher for naturals overseas who live in countries where their texture isn’t widely catered too.
The do-it-yourself nature of the natural hair community is surely inspiring. You look around and there seem to be hundreds of naturals rocking gorgeous styles, seemingly with little effort. So you walk into your bathroom on a Friday night with nothing but a wide tooth comb, a spray bottle, some bobby pins and a tape of Erykah Badu’s greatest hits. A few hours later you emerge deflated, with a lopsided updo or a crunchy twist out.
Realistically, if all you knew before going natural was how to wrap relaxed hair at night, you can’t expect to become a master at styling overnight. It will take time to learn some basic techniques and, hey, there’s no shame in getting your hair done by a professional natural hair stylist while you work on your skills.
You might have expected droves of people to stop you in the streets, remarking at your glorious mane. Or for your family and friends to stage an intervention after your big chop. But you might find that, well, nobody really cares much about what you do with your hair. Now, this is not to make light of naturals who still deal with hostile responses from family and friends (yes, that still happens), but many women will transition or big chop without anyone so much as batting an eye. It’s never a good idea to go natural for someone else’s praise, or to prove a point to somebody. It’s your hair and it’s your body. So do it for you!
Ladies, what other things did you think would happen when you went natural, that didn’t?
149 Responses
After I big chopped …I looked just like my dad. I was horrified! I was convinced that I looked like a boy. Anybody can wear short curly hair obviously, but the resemblance I had to the men in my family had me running to put in two strand twists. (I transitioned for about 6 months then did the chop ). I didn’t feel confident with a mini fro at all. Even though it was my hair, I wasn’t used to seeing myself that way. Until my hair reached my chin I wore it in two strand twists. Although, after a while I noticed it was gorgeous any way I did it… okay…. I guess I’m at the bursting with self-confidence part…lol, but it wasn’t instantaneous and I missed out on lots of cute styles while my hair was in protective styling.
The only one of these points that I assumed was #1…I did think that all of a sudden, my hair would just grow and grow and be long finally. Now while it is definitely the longest it’s ever been in my life, it’s still not where I feel it could be. And to add to point #1, I also thought my hair would be thicker! Instead, I’m one of what seems to be the few thin haired naturals. I can’t really wear my hair out because it’s so thin and lifeless. lol.
I never thought I would go natural again. I’ve been completely natural several times over the last twelve years or so, and I was certain I’d never do it again. In times past taking care of natural hair was time consuming to say the least. I’ve always had long hair,and relaxers seemed to tame the frizz, and save tons of time and effort on maintaining my hair. I decided to go natural this time due to my regular salon closing, and not trusting just anybody to do my hair; before I knew it some time had passed, and I had quite a bit of new growth,so I decided to ditch the relaxed hair,and stick to my natural hair until I found a new stylist. After trying some of the new products on the market for curly hair I decided to keep my curly tresses. The right products can make a world of difference as I am spending much less time doing my hair than when I had a relaxer. I just wash, deep condition, and de-tangle once a week, and then I’m out the door. I am loving my wash, shake and go curly girl routine!
I thought being natural would mean more money in my pocket. After all no more hairdresser. Boy was I in for a big surprise, the products are pricy and I keep buying a lot of stuff…. been getting a little better now. I’m nine months post big chop and loving it!
That I could twist my hair and the next day, unravel it and go. Um, yeah, so that didn’t happen. I can’t do a twist out to save my life. I always end up looking like Medusa.
For some reason I guess I expected that my hair would be less thick and flow in the wind when I big chopped. Lol no my hair is thick as it was when it was long and doesn’t move ????. I am, however, progressing with how to deal with my curls and I’m finding that I can be versatile with my natural hair yaaay ????
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I’m mixed so I expected to have loose manageable curls. Nope I have the thickest tight curl I didn’t even know existed. Like if you take a spring out of a retractable pen that is how tight my curls were and I didn’t know I had a sensitive scalp so after a wash when I went to comb it out I would cry trying to untangle my hair. I also expected the longer it got the looser the curl, also nope. I grew out my hair for 5 years and it grew to my shoulders but soon as I washed it, it went right back to that tight curl. It was beautiful and healthy though. I went back to relaxer 3 years ago but at this time I am considering going back to natural. I had long hair with relaxer but these past 3 years I can’t get it to go past my ears so I’m going to try natural again. Pics are of my natural hair after washing & combed out & straightened.
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Cecret, this is my hair, too, and I had the same hopes of having a looser curl pattern but, not so. All the same, I’m falling in love with my natural hair. If God saw fit for me to have it, I’m determined to love in all its coily glory, but I understand what you mean. It takes a lot of time to deal with it in its coily/kinky state. I will be two years natural in March. I’m “BeautybyGodsgrace on BGLH.
I thought my hair would suddenly curl when applying those “new kind of products”
I’m guilty of the “shake ‘n’ go” expectation.
I haven’t read the older comments so someone may have already said this. I thought that my hair would FINALLY be THICK and COARS!! I have fine hair. I thought the relaxer was making it even finer. So I went natural and was natural for 3 years. Guess what I had….FINE natural hair that felt and looked like a black cotton ball.
Yes! I thought the exact same thing. I thought once I got rid of the relaxers and stuff and went natural, that my hair would turn into this lovely huge Angela Davis looking thick fro. Instead my hair is thin and fine and it seems to only look good in buns. lol.
I can definitely identify with the points made in the article. I’d like to add something I did NOT think would happen…Friends and RANDOM folk offering unsolicited opinions of my style choice (Boldly stating which ones they prefer, subtly hinting at which ones they didn’t like.)
Don’t you love it? NOT!
I don’t think this article is discouraging it’s true to some extent or at least a lot of people think that going natural then means you have it easier. People think this before they have done any research at all. I hear a lot of women say they are tired of spending hours at the salon or having to relax ever so often they will go natural because it is soooo much easier. Little do they know that instead of hours at the salon it might be hours at home doing DCs, doing research about what is best for hair, doing Henna, detangling etc instead. I think this article gives people an idea that before they make the decision to go natural they should go and do some research because some of the notions they have might be wrong…it’s not necessarily just cotton candies and fairies it takes some work.
I didn’t think any of the above. I just wanted my scalp to feel better, perms were killing it. I go to my beautician every other month for a “check up” and my hair and scalp is healthy and happy. I transition for a year and been all natural for a year. I’m just enjoying my hair.
Yes! Looking at the blogs (we still had a dinosaur computer back then so I couldn’t get on youtube yet) I just KNEW that going natural would be a breeze. All I would have to do is cowash, condition, shake and go, and wet and gel my hair and the curls would be popping and my hair would grow like weeds like my older family members’ hair. Yeah, I wished it would lol. I did love my hair so it was worth not giving up on it and watching my kinky baby grow. I even learned that my hair would do some things that I didn’t expect of it, and that was awesome. The one thing that I always expected that has proven false to me time and time again is that the wind wouldn’t mess up my hair, but it does. :/. I don’t know why, I just expected it to be “stiff” like my [damaged] relaxed hair. Buns come in handy for that, though.:)
The only thing I didn’t know when I started my hair journey, is that at eventually I would stop thinking about my hair. In the beginning, it was a near constant obsession. Reading hair blogs constantly, scouring youtube, reading every label of every product when I went into the store, and buying new products based on recommendations. I guess that was two years ago. Now my hair is just beautiful. I deep condition when I think about it. I steam when I have the time. I wash it when it needs it. I protective style with chunky twists and buns, not the mini twists I was doing back in the day. I keep my hands out of my hair, and I just live my life. My hair is the last thing I’m thinking about. Some days my husband will remark, “Wow, have to realized how long your hair has gotten?” and then I’ll notice, but otherwise, I’m not sweating this like I was.
This article is very discouraging to women considering going natural. Everything is this world has pros and cons, but health is more important than these cons. The Big Picture = A HEALTHY BODY!!!!! (THAT MEANS NO CHEMICALS)
That’s really great,hmm thanks for telling. But go natural only with good prouducts not use any other technique.
I have got to say that since I went completely natural in May 2011 I have had a very good experience. I admit that I never really had issues with having a relaxer as long as it was mild strength. But since I have been natural I have to say that caring for my hair has been easy street. As long as I keep it cleansed, moisturized and allow the hair to dry without disturbing the curl – it’s all good.
My only issue is the Product Junkie (PJ) in me gets out of control sometimes. But I just chalk it up to having fun.
Haha Mine were the:
1) Shake and go!
God knows I bought so many wash-and-go products expecting my hair to just pop out like a straw-set…yeah that didn’t happen
2) Afraid of the Rain
…..that is a big LIE. After stressing through that twist-out, I am NOT about to start walking in the rain…lol
I transitioned only 8 months ago. I assumed that I would have much more time on my hands going natural….puleeze! I am such a slave to my hair right now. Between product selections, hairstyle research, washing and conditioning regimens and buying a bunch more hair accessories, I am worn out!! I watch a million and one you tube videos and love how everyone seems to create these hairstyles with such ease. While I end up wasting a whole saturday or sunday locked up in my house because I have to wash/deep condidtioner/moisturize/braid up/air dry and tie up for bed. Then to wake up the next morning to have your hair not turn out a thing like you had hoped or desired! 🙂 Not to mention this being a struggle for someone with some age on her who cannot go to her ultra conservative job briefing members of congress with cute ribbons, headbands, flower clips and faux hawks.
So I say all of that to say, I will continue with my journey but I sure do spend a lot more time worried about my hair than I ever have before. And the attention that I get now is more of “what is going on with that hair” rather than any kind of praise or wanting to touch it! thanks for the blog article, very cute.
This is soo true. I first went natural in 1998. I was 18 years old. The biggest lesson I have learned is have fun, don’t take it too seriously. I have had worn the big chop, braids, fros and extensions. I also usually relax every 5 years and then start over again. It is hair and we are beautiful. We should enjoy who we are and not be afraid to experiment.
P.s Rain and water are the best stylist of all. Enjoy. I love water on my scalp, natural or relaxed….Happy New Year
So are not 7 things I ASSUMED with going natural. I have always combed and cared for my own hair, knew my hair would be long due to genetics and the length I had before going natural, I still do not fear the rain, it’s just water for God’s sake! Never did a big chop, just transitioned through braids, Never expected people to approach me or care because I didn’t go natural for attention I went natural for me.
I did the big chop 2 years in may, I’m lovin’ it…this is not the first time,I would chop off about every 10 years. After a couple of years I would always go back to the perm….I have learned to really embrace my natural!
I just chopped of all my hair. It was completely damaged. So now im pretty much bald. Have any of you ever chopped of all of your hair ? If so how long, with proper care of course did it take to get to bsl. And is it ok to wear lace wigs while growing my hair out? Thanks.
I would advise against wearing lace front wigs for a period of time.
Yes it is okay but you still have to take care of your hair before putting that wig on. I wear wigs and it has done nothing to my hair because I still keep my hair care regime. Heck to me a wig is just like a hat. Just put it on when you need it and let your hair breathe when you don’t.
I shaved my head December 2011. Yes, with a razor. I stopped shaving June 2012 and just stayed focused on a healthy scalp and moist strands. Measured yesterday Jan 2013 (stretched it out with my fingers and held up a ruler) I’m at just under 6 inches. So, at the rate my hair grow has been growing, I figure it’ll take me a few more years, maybe 2, for BSL (stretched). I rock a TWA and twist out. But people’s hair grows at different rates. It took my mother less than 2 years to reach BSL (stretched) from her 1/2 inch TWA. She’s been natural her whole life (over fifty years). My sister’s 2 foot (unstretched) fro took 5 years. She’s worn a full sew-in since her relaxed days and just transitioned to full-wigs. Not lace though. (I don’t get it, either. I’d flaunt that huge fro like mad–blocking out the sun and all). We’re all 4b to 5z, lol! None of us are into too much maniputation and we’re all VERY scissor-happy so we trim, chop and shave WAY more than necessary. I figure, keep your scalp and hair clean and well moisturized, eat well, exercise, drink water and rock your hair at whatever length it happens to be in a low maintenance style that’s flattering. It’ll grow, at it’s own rate. Unless you’re genetically predisposed to baldness, growing is what healthy people’s hair does. To be honest, I’m only growing my hair out because my husband loves the TWA. Otherwise, I absolutely LOVED being bald!!! Just enjoy whatever length you’ve got while you’ve got it. It really is just hair…
I thought my hair would have visible bouncy curls, especially after a wash and go. It’s more like a wash and stop do something with that THEN go.
To me… all 7 actually happened…
I walk in the rain, but when I get home I only rinse it with water, add moisturizer and oil… all well… 15 minutes of work… been like this for 2 years now and the hair is still perfect. I do style my hair all by myself. Only cutting the ends I do at the hairdresser every 6 months.
More people do care. They like the fact that I am proud of my natural hair and just show it of. People compliment me daily (or weekly, but I only hear good things)……
I can second this. The whole list is a bit on the negative side if you ask me.
I, too, thought this was pretty discouraging.
I agree with this – all 7 of these things have happened to me. My hair is growing unbelievably fast and everyone cares – I get compliments and questions on my hair all the time. And I haven’t been to the salon in the 10 months since I started transitioning. And my hair loves the rain. If I’m rocking a twist-out I just use a little anti-humectant and it swells up but doesn’t get too frizzy. *shrug* that’s what it’s supposed to look like! It’s thick y’all, we can’t make it not big lol.
Hi.
I made the decision to go natural a year ago after a drug chelation process cause by already thin hair to break off in sections. I loved it at first. But I wanted it to grow. It’s not. I had tried all types of different products and finally found that the Wave Nuveau lotion works best along with a Shea butter sheen. But it still wouldn’t grow. So in frustration, I stopped trying. I thought to go back to a perm, but could not bring myself to do it. So I just wore a cap, a scarf or anything where I would not have to look at it or comb it. Yes, that’s right I did not comb my hair. I washed it and conditioned it though. This went on for about a month (luckily I no longer work) So when I got up the nerve to comb it, I discovered it had grown about an inch or two. What gives?! I am soooo confused! Now I do comb it, but I’m scared because all of this hair comes out. I love touching my hair and feeling it’s natural state. But I don’t know what to do with it!
Maybe just comb less often?
Not only comb it less but don’t feel that u have to get all the tangles out. If ur doing a twist out, comb with a wide tooth comb then start twisting.
Look at your comb. Hold it flat with the back facing you and look for a line that splits the comb into two sections. Follow that line around the outer edge of the comb and when you get to the teeth, tilt the comb to inspect between the teeth. You should still see the line along the edge. If you run your finger in between the teeth and feel under each tooth of the comb, you should feel that sharp line, called the seem.
The sharp seems in combs tend to cut and break the hair, so it’s best to either invest in a “seamless comb”, or try finger detangling. Hope his helps.
*******SEVEN THINGS I DIDN’T KNOW WHEN I WENT NATURAL*******
I never really gave it much thought. This is something I wanted to do for a while, and I was done being the “wanna’be” natural – wearing natural hair pieces and afro puffs, etc.
I had quite a bit of new growth, so in February 2009, I had the rest of my relaxer cut out, and I have not looked back.
In April 2009, I went to my hair stylist for a trim, and he trimmed to much, plus one side was shorter than the other. 🙁 That was that. I “ain’t” been back since.
Doing my own hair was a challenge for a while, but eventually got the hang of it and developed my own flow.
I don’t know if I could come up with 7 things, but I will give it a shot:
Ok, so I didn’t know that:
1. It would be so difficult to find a professional stylist who could handle natural hair (that was 3 years ago, but that isn’t the case now)
2. I could wash my hair every day or every other if I wanted to (co-washing, that is)
3. Washing my hair would be an all-day event and I would become such a product junkie….SHEESH!!!
4. YouTube would end up being my go-to source for education and tips for natural hair;
5. I would be putting in my own extensions for longer 2-strand twists (thanks YouTube!);
6. I would love my hair this much;
7. My hair would be longer than it ever was! When I flat-ironed my hair last November, I was floored!
7 things I didn’t know when I went natural
1. I didn’t know white people would wanna touch my hair and would stare. I didn’t know Asians would notice and comment about my hair (Asians own the hair product shops in London).
2. I didn’t know or think my hair would be so tight 4b and tiny 4c on the crown! I didn’t know that the back was so lovely soft and curly like 3c -(no wonder relaxers burnt me back there!) hair is so much softer – if only it was like that everywhere! Life would be so much easier. Instead hair at front is relatively soft and bouncy the crown not so! I didn’t know that the crown would take so long to come down! The back is longer but the front is running away!
3. I didn’t think that approaching 2 years this May that my hair would have fallen behind! When I started natural the hair grew thick and fast and so I estimated that by now my hair would be 12 inches – well at least 11inches by now in April so next month would be 11.5 at least! Nope – my sides’ measure 8.5, the back section is 9 the rest is 7!! Not good – very disappointed!! Must stop looking at those show off girls on u tube – we are not all the same!!
4. I didn’t expect to see thinning I spotted it at my right back. I part my hair across the back so that’s how I noticed it. It’s a small section but none the less I can see it’s thin and the parting wide in that section and sometimes it itches! I’ve brought biotin it’s got some DHT – that might help – early days yet! So hoping it doesn’t spread! Making me very anxious and very frustrated!
5. I didn’t know getting long hair would take so long! When I had wet look it ran down my back! When relaxed it stopped at neck length! Then I went on u tube and heard about moisturising I implemented it immediately and in six months my hair had grown past my shoulders colleagues at work and home were amazed! So I thought going natural would be a breeze! I mean I got all the knowledge haven’t I? Well apparently not – but what else is there? I take vitamins, good natural food, and exercise? Phew!
6. I didn’t know after I got an injury in sept 11 till now – off work for six months – my hair would stop growing! Yes folks it has! 3 weeks ago in desperation I dyed a small section just so I could see what is going on – still not a centimetre of growth!! I know hair goes to sleep and London is cold but this is ridiculous!
7. I didn’t know I would catch the attention of some black men and that some would follow me around at the supermarket! (My sister too would get dates with nappy twists!) We were brain washed to think that men will only be attracted to us with relaxed hair! That was a wakeup call!
I didn’t realise how in love I would be with this hair! Its bouncy, lively quality is most unique! We stand apart from everyone else. Nobody has this hair – it is a superior quality and makes one relatively happy! Er when it’s not wet and shrunken! The complete beauty of it will be assured when one achieves at least arm pit length! The problem is how does one gets there?
Regards
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Going natural was on of the best things I ever did, but I’ve noticed that alot of men seem to have a problem with women when they go natural. Has that been some of you guys experience?
I have had the opposite experience. My husband loves my natural hair and comments on it all the time. He touches it a lot more often than he did when it was relaxed.
I have had the opposite experience. Men of all races approach me more now that I am natural. I was fortunate enough during my BC to be in a relationship with someone who encouraged–and even helped–me to BC.
My current partner loves my hair and can’t stop touching it, which is annoying quite frankly.
Cosigning with the folks who said that length is NOT genetic (Although yes, we do have a terminal length…but it’s rare for it to be…shoulder length. I believe on the low side the terminal length is three years of growth ~ 18 inches). Your hair texture (fine, normal, coarse) is however genetic and people with thicker hair strands are able to subject their hair to more abuse before the hair breaks, while someone with finer hair will need to baby their hair more.
Lol hair length being genetic?? Wow some of talk nd to do more research on genetics…discover the hair gene…js sayin. I had a laughter from my professor on this one.
#2
+1,000,000
I think a lot of new naturals spew ‘talking points’ they hear that seems to be the “thing” or “phrase” to say… hearing folks say that they no longer run rom the rain always makes me giggle, because when I was relaxed, I never ran from the durn rain. Returning to my natural hair — yeah I run, because my hair would shrink to my eyeballs!
LOL I agree. When I had straightened hair I would waltz through the rain like it was nothing, now with the natural hair I HAVE to run unless I want to end up with this teeny tiny little afro, which is a super pain when I consider all the stress it take to stretch my hair
Does anyone know the name of the woman in the pic? Her hair texture is soo similar to mine. I would love to know how she does her braidouts ^_^
One thing I left out regarding being natural that I actually did not expect to happen was my overall perception of the ‘ideal feminine beauty’.
When I see women of African descent with natural hair, regardless of texture, it’s as if I’m privy to seeing a goddess, an otherwordly ethereal being that is the Queen among Queens. And we all have our favorites, but for me, if I see a combo of a ‘kinkier’ hair type coupled with richly melenated skin, I feel like I’m seeing the secrets’ of the Universe, God’s confidante and lover.
I shall conclude my confessions with a few quotes from the preface of German photographer Uwe Ommer’s work ‘Black Ladies’:
I have been singing about the Black Woman, it is essenially for her multi-faceted beauty, her form – I use it in the singular- and beyond all that, her poetry in the etymological sense : for the creative inspiration that she generates within us, body and heart. I say heart and soul. As we know the Greeks,founders of the Albo-European civilization from which today is being built the Universal Civilization, borrowed heavly in their time from Egyptian civilization about which Herodotus, the father of History, said the inhabitans had “black skin and fuzzy hair”. I’m thinking as well of the Black Gods who where them, Dionysus, the god of lyric life, and Circe, the Magician, the Enchantress. After all, in prehistoric time, and even after that, Black reigned as sacred color all over the Mediterranean Basin. The statues of the mother goddess, as well as the statues of Africa, and the black color of Ka’ba are proof of it.(…)”
“It is not by chance that King Solomon, ispired by Egyptian love songs, composed for his black wife, daughter of a pharaoh, the famous “Songs of Songs”. And he made her sing : “I am black and beautiful, daughter of Jerusalem awesome as an army in battle array”. In effect, the Hebrew text written by Solomon, doesn’t say, “black but beautiful”; but it says “black and beautiful”. Poets and photographers of the Twentieth Century aren’t singing a new song.”
Yup, natural hair has truly been an unexpectedly pleasurable journey for me in so many ways!
I know my answer is a variation on the question asked yet I find it worth putting out there for all to read. Fully Embrace Yourself!
truly beautiful! Thanks
=) My pleasure.
I’m so glad this article was written! I have had natural hair for 10 years (loc’d for several of them) and I have to say this is probably the first time that I have COMPLETELY accepted my hair and its glorious texture. I have a few coilies and lots of kinkies and I’m glad about it. I hate getting my hair wet when I’m wearing a certain style and I no longer care if others have something to say…good or bad. Great article!
I guess I had no expectations about going natural because I never planned on doing it. It just sort of happened and I went with it. I’m so happy I did!! I always had very thick hair. As a child, it was pretty long but I don’t remember having it straightened a lot just shoulder length ponytails with major shrinkage. I will never forget when I was in the 4th grade and my mom decided to Jerri Curl my hair. Major fail. My hair literally fell out do to over processing from my head to the floor right before my eyes. Very traumatizing for a 9 year old and I don’t even want to talk about the teasing from other kids in my class. Anyway, my mom and auntie worked really hard to get my hair to grow back and in two years it had grown to a nice lenght. Then came the creamy crack and it was a super of course. Since then I had been relaxing my hair with super relaxers every 4 weeks like clock work. Sometimes touching my kitchen up in between because my lil brother gave me the nick name Beady Bead ( which I still answer today lol). For the past 5 years I had been wearing sew-in weaves. My hair would get a little past shoulder length and need a trim and get stuck right there. I had actually became addicted to the sew-ins. I got use to the feeling of having hair flowing down my back and would not take one out until I spent at least $200 on more hair. A year ago I decided I would stop getting the relaxers since I would be wearing weaves. My hair was thick but splitting very bad and my edges were getting thin. After about two months I noticed that the hair around my edges had a ill wave to it like hair I always wished I had. Aww shucks I thought and I was curious to see how much more this wavy stuff would come out before my beads showed up. Surprisingly the beads never showed up. Lol. Fast forward to Jan. 2012. I work in a salon and they asked me if I would be a model for a coloring class and I agreed since my hair was “natural” and I hadn’t relaxed it in a year. After the highlights were done the reality that I could not put a weave in my hair set in and I was stuck with blonde highlighted two textured hair and ready to scream!! One of the stylist at my job straightened it for me and she got it so straight that you would have thought it was relaxed….. I hated it!! I had always loved big full and flowing hair and this just past shoulder length flat hair was not gonna work. I went home started searching the web and stumbled upon lots of hair blogs and YouTube videos and lots of women were talking about the Big Chop and all the different natural styles. An hour later I was in the mirror, scissors in hand, thinking to myself here we go!! I’m so happy I did it. I have been totally natural for two months and I’m luvin it! When I was relaxed I only washed my hair once a month because it was so hard to get it back “right”. Gross but true. Now I look forward to it. I actually cowash and I am starting the curly girl method. My hair type is a 3c 4a mix. I think?? Most people think I straw set my hair but I get great curls w a mixture of Eco Styler Olive Oil Gel and Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie. I am enjoying my natural journey so far and I am sure Nicci is as well.
1. I thought i would retain and be able to keep all the length i retain…WRONG.
2. That i would never have to trim my ends again b/c natural hair = healthiest hair.
3. I would be at at mid way length by now.
your singing my song right now
I thought that ecostyler and water were gonna give me luscious curls that were both bouncy and defined. Lol… I still have not mastered the art of a wash and go yet, but it’s a work in progress. Also I thought that I would have less of an issue with maintenance. I soon found out that natural hair is not exactly a serene stroll in the park. Actually, having a carefree attitude towards natural hair ends up with split ends and setbacks. I also thought that it would be more economical than the creamy crack, but any diehard PJ will tell ya that this is not always the case either. 😉
Two words: defined curls.
I didn’t have a transition from relaxed to natural but rather a transition from locd (10 years) to loose. Armed with all YouTube wisdom and a shelf full of product, I thought I’d reveal my “true” head of hair – bouncy curls that emerged as soon as they made contact with kinky curly. For better or worse it was not to be.
Hair comes with what is called a growth cycle, which is the length of time it grows (on average) before it breaks. Some women’s growth cycles are 12 and 18 months. These are the women you see with longer hair. Women with only a 5 or 6 month growth cycle have trouble retaining length because their hair shaft weakens a lot sooner.
Let us point out that this is a completely separate concern for women who have length, but because of curl pattern, their hair LOOKS short. This is another common complaint, especially among 4b/c’s like myself. My hair is actually long. But without hours of styling, it still only looks like a baby fro.
2 words…Army & Nurse…Therefore, I have no time for twistouts, bantu knots, blah, blah, blah. Plus, with my Army cap on, I cant have puffy hair under it causing the hat to look tall or displaced. I’ve been natural for 2 years, but I big chopped 4 times. I like to keep it short because this 4b hair is no joke. So, I’m going back relaxed. It doesn’t mean I feel ashamed of my hair, or whatever. Going natural, I’ve bought dozens of products, spent hours and hours in the mirror, and a lot of time that could have been used else where. When my hair is relaxed, it is perfectly healthy. Just because you are natural, does not mean that you are putting less chemicals in your hair… I am a proud black woman serving my country and serving my people daily; Pride that isn’t contingent on hair alone. I wish another black woman would try and judge me, just due to my hair and not my character. I take care of my body, I tend to my spiritual health, and so on. How about us black women worry about getting more educated, getting healthier, and learning to cultivate healthier relationships. Forget about the whole hair thing, just do what YOU want and what works for you.
Black women do center themselves on higher education, physical and psychological health and positive relationships. This is a hair blog, devoted to natural hair, so of course we are going to discuss our love of natural hair in-depth, ad nauseum because it’s educational, fun and community-building. I don’t believe that having a passion for hair is trivial or that those who do, do it at the expense of other pursuits.
Articulating what you want and devising what works is in some cases a learning process, not everyone gets it quickly, a fact I feel this article addresses. And I’m happy that many on this hair site share the highs and lows of that process with great honesty. Also, no one should feel the need to be defensive about their decision to go from natural to permed/relaxed, if it works for them, no further discussion is needed.
Amen and well-stated Annie L.!=)
ICAM.
You seem very defensive about your decision to relax again. As someone with natural hair, I could care less what someone else chooses to do with their hair.
While it is just hair, it also isn’t especially for black women and what it means to have great hair which natural hair was not (and maybe still isn’t) considered to be by many black people. So I have no problem if we like to talk about natural hair quite a bit. It is exciting to finally accept and like what grows out of your hair follicles and want to share that with others.
But you are right that if you are spending a lot of time on your hair (which I have been guilty of many times), you have to ask yourself if you are spending as much time on other areas of your life that yes are more important than hair such as health, education, etc.
Amen!
#2 is so true. I was never afraid of the rain when relaxed but now I make sure to bring my mini umbrella with me. Rain and humidity always ruin my styles.
I think that’s so interesting!
I’ve never met a woman with a relaxer who wasn’t afraid of the rain! For me, getting my relaxed hair rained on was style suicide, not to mention the smell!
I am still transitioning so I can’t speak to running in the rain with natural hair, but since I wear mostly protective styles, the rain doesn’t bother me a bit 🙂
I agree with #7. When I chopped all of my hair off, everyone just said I have a nice haircut. After that, no one cared. No one calling me nappy headed or waving a relaxer in my face. I get a compliment every now and then but that’s it. I really don’t care either. I like being left alone by strangers, lol.
# 6!!! I could just cry!!
I honestly didn’t expect my hair to be curly when I started going natural, lol!
My hair had been permed since I was 5 or 6 years old and I was just raised to believe the out-dated mantras that most of us have heard before.
“Black women have to relax their hair, or else their hair will be matted and unmanageable”
I was shocked that after stretching the time between perms (since I always hated going to the salon) I started noticing that my hair was much curlier than I thought it could be, being a black woman, so I just didn’t get touch-ups anymore.
Now, I LOVE doing my hair and playing with styles and products. I was NEVER like that before, so I guess my false assumption turned out to be pretty positive. 🙂
Dear Lawd Stayce, good thing you didn’t get my head of hair, LOL! Very few curls in sight, mostly knock your socks off kinks!
I must say, #6 is the only one that seems to apply to me and if my hair wasn’t locked, it wouldn’t apply, as it didn’t when my hair was a fro. Great post though.
Just had to comment on your name LOL “dark child with dreadlocks”.
BC’ing was the worst for me, I should’ve transitioned. I can honestly say I wasn’t happy with my hair til 2 years after my BC when it finally reached the same length my relaxed hair used to be. So #3 definitely.
In terms of #2, I just never understood that when I was relaxed or natural. Why would I want to be dressed to the nines and get rained on. Hair or no hair, most people don’t like to get wet when they don’t expect it. I don’t care if you’re relaxed, natural, black, white, asian, man, woman, dog – no one likes to get rained on.
styling has been quite the journey, lol. I’m still trying to perfect my twist outs
I try to schedule my styles according to the weather..I view the forecast for the week and determine what I am going to do with my hair based on that, whether it be a puff or not bothering to retwist/braid the night before it’s suppose to rain.
I so loving my new look. I wish I had done it a lot sooner. I did the big cop on March 27,2012 and each day it looks better.. my black is Beautiful and I love the Skin I’m In…So glad to be Natural..
[img]https://bglh-marketplace.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/559299_1980962540354_1731918230_973253_1154352139_n.jpg[/img]
Congratulations! Welcome =)
1. I actually believed the opposite. My relaxed hair was always long and I was afraid that I would have trouble retaining natural hair.
2. Now I don’t mind getting caught in the rain because I want my hair to look like a curly/kinky poof. Maybe when I actually stretch my hair I’ll be more concerned.
3. This is the first time I have actually felt beautiful and unique. I can walk into a room like, “Yeah, I know, I’m bad.” 🙂
4. I can “fluff” and go.
5. True
6. I don’t trust anyone else to touch my kinky hair so keeping a very simple hair regimen has been crucial for me.
7. I actually hated when people would comment on how long my relaxed hair was. It was just superficial (and sometimes creepy) to me. But now that I’m natural, I get more thoughtful and uplifting comments and I’m glad that people keep their ignorant comments to themselves or simply don’t care.
Also, I underestimated the natural hair hustle. I feel that many of these products are overpriced so that has been the largest obstacle for me. But I’m glad that I have found staple products that I can easily purchase at Wholefoods or Sunflower Market.
I can sooo feel you on your #7! My relaxed hair fell right below my shoulders (but would need constant trims, so was never longer than that) and I would feel really a little annoyed when people would gush all over my hair length and tell me “Ooo, girl you better never cut your hair!”
It just felt fake, ya know? Like all this praise for something that is not even the real me. Something to just hide behind.
Now when I get compliments on my natural hair, it feels different. Special even, because my hair matches the rest of me(fun, playful, gentle, quirky, unique etc.)and feels like it is more a part of me as a whole.
definitely thought my hair would be long effortlessly while using the same regimen i used with my relaxed hair. WRONG! combing my hair everyday and not moisturizing regularly worked for chemically straightened hair. that does NOT fly with my natural hair. now that i’ve figured it out i have the hair i thought i would have when i went natural in 2004. it just involved more patience and different techniques. had sites like this been around it might have taken me less that 5 years to figure that out 🙂
the wash n’ go thing is so true. it worked when i had a twa but eventually i caught on. plus on my hair it just helps my already single strand knot prone hair to create even more little knots. no thanks!
#1, 3 and 6 are true for me. I didn’t expect them to happen though–I had no expectations about going natural other than getting rid of the chemicals. Nevertheless, this article is def the truth.
#8. You’d work out more.
This did happen for me, but not until I was a year in and realized I was more concerned with what I did to my hair than what I did to my body.
A-man!
I applaud you Steph…In Motion!!
I’m curious, did you begin to experience more freedom with your hair and greater appreciation of your facial aesthetic (you are lovely btw) as a result of exercise?
Reflecting back over my multiple natural hair journeys’ over the years,I’ve finally become truly comfortable with my looks (face/hair/body and I’m an average attractive woman-no stunner) even if my hair is in Ms. Celie plaits (simply plaits back in my day, but always enjoy a Color Purple reference=) and I am thinking exercise may have played a larger role in these feelings/beliefs than I had previously presumed. Initially, I felt my hair always needed to be ‘styled’, everything just in its’ place….perhaps this change can be attributed to some degree to age, but I think natural hair coupled with healthy habits has been some grand existential experience for me as I have gained greater patience, acceptance,less need for material goods, and have learned that I do not need to control everything and it’s ok.
@anastasia Thanks for the compliment! I definitely think working my body helped me love and appreciate the whole me (even before the weight started coming off). That included my hair and face. I also think my facial features make much more sense with natural hair than when my hair was super straight, so I’m not as concerned with always being “done” now. At this point in my life I’m undergoing a similar change of openness and peace, and I agree with you that these are results of the physical changes and of aging and maybe even a result of people treating me differently now that I have a different look.
Smiles and flowers to you sista for responding =) Your openness and peace shows, =) Bravo! Maybe our little stories will inspire a sista to begin to love herself wholistically and without apology.
side note* I love the community we share on these boards,regardless of accord or discord.
Assumptions I made when I went natural:
1. I wouldn’t be slathering harmful chemicals on my scalp.
2. I wouldn’t be confined to a salon that smells like burnt hair and gossip every 6 weeks.
3. I’d save money by not having a hair stylist.
4. My hair wouldn’t be straight.
5. I would get more compliments (compared to zero compliments on my long, thick relaxed hair).
Co-signing on all but #5 because while I also never got compliments on my relaxed hair, I never had long relaxed hair and I think I would have been labeled as “dark but pretty” had I had it. (That’s just a function of where I’m from; no offense meant.) Comparatively speaking I get lots more compliments on my natural hair…almost all of them from white folks but that’s another subject…
As I’m reading this I realize that most of the things listed apply to what I’m going to call “Internet naturals”…those who were lucky enough to go natural in the age of blogs and forums and as such have a wealth of visual information right at your fingertips. I went natural before all of this stuff existed and so I really didn’t assume any of these things listed.
(*gasp* Did I just create yet ANOTHER divide within the natural hair community? hehe 😉 )
The one thing I will say that I assumed was that my hair would be nappy (as in, well, NAPPY). Which it is…but there are several different varieties of nappy on my head, including a surprisingly high number of uniform penspring/coffee-stirrer coils that are definable with the right amount of product (and time, and patience). I was also natural for almost an entire year before I truly understood the concept of shrinkage…when I had my hair professionally press-and-curled and ended up shocking the hell out of everyone in the salon, including myself.
I agree. That my hair would be Nappy. And it is; and I’m love’n every kink, coil, curl; and napp that I have {:-).
+1000
DITTO!!!
🙂
i really thought it would have been less work, but i was wrong! when i had a perm i could put my hair in a pony tail and just go to work. now i have to prep my hair at night and get up a few minutes earlier to work on a style. but either way im loving my natural hair, i am just taking more time for myself and that’s not a bad thing.
it sooo much ef-in work……
every 3-4 months i have to rework the regimen…my saint bonnet no longer fits over all of this….just ordered satin pillowcases…..
I had none of theses expectation since the only reason I went natural was mainly money, the economy was going down, My boyfriend was changing companies, my agency was restructuring and got rid of my main network/contact, and I didn’t want constantly rely on weaves. So I did it for money saving which it definitely helped.
What I did expect, that doesn’t seem to be happening, is that I could continue to grow my hair at the same rate without need of a weave or braided extensions. Sadly that has not been the case.
Actually that reminds I was supposed to do my growth check this weekend, I totally forgot. I not checking the length of my strands but the from scalp to the one closest bleach point. from what I can tell it looks likes 3/8″ (0.375 inches).
Nice Article.
I never had much expectations accept that I’d save money. which is true.
This is a great article, especially for the newbies or those who may be discouraged from time to time.
As for me, I’m in protective styles most of the time, but when I do stretch my hair and let her loose, rain is the last thing I want to see. It’s not that I will have to change the style, or that it shrinks, it’s the time I put into in the first place…still, I Love being natural! My hair was thicker as a child, so I did expect thicker hair, but I’m older than I feel and have battled illness, so the fact that I have life plus some thriving 4bc hair is a blessing.
Thanks for writing this article!
My hairs are thinner and thus break more easily requiring much more protection and much gentler detangling. Basically the less I detangle the better and never ever soaking wet with conditioner..my hair just comes apart! I only detangle once every three weeks and do so with GREAT care. (My hair is in mini twists or yarn braids for the three weeks..don’t worry)
I know I will probably have to grow my hair for (another) 3-4 years till my hair is as long as it can possibly be. And I’m ok with that, I have no intention of cutting it, or discontinuing my healthy hair practices.
All in all, you have to learn about what you are working with (hair wise), and adjust your expectations to match reality.
Learn to love what you got, then learn to work with what you got, then what you get is far better than if you stayed in denial fighting and mistreating you strands!
love!
“All in all, you have to learn about what you are working with (hair wise), and adjust your expectations to match reality.
Learn to love what you got, then learn to work with what you got, then what you get is far better than if you stayed in denial fighting and mistreating you strands!
love!”
Best advice ever!!!
+100
Monisola, Great advice. I agree the best I’ve heard yet. Thanks for your input. More love to you my Dear {:-).
Monisola. I am in the exact situation as you are! My hair is super super fine like my dad’s and my cousins. His hair is so fine even though he has a full head of hair all you can see is his scalp. Thank God for my mother! When It was relaxed I couldn’t keep any style because my hair was so light the wind would blow the style away lol. Now when it’s natural I love some aspects of my hair, like that it stretches out to almost straight without a blow dryer…so it’s super easy to flat-iron.
But I’ve realized the key to growing fine hair long just as you did. I also only detangle once every 3 months…and I always gently finger detangle first. I also NEVER detangle when it’s wet. Too bad it took me 3 years to realize that what works for other thick haired naturals does not work for me. It’s been at shoulder length forever and now I’m finally seeing growth. Hoping for BSL in the next 2 years. I don’t think I want it any longer.
*what works for thick-haired naturals
Number six is oh so true, and in addition to the products and bobby pins, i go in with the YouTube videos as well, and after all is said and done I emerge with my fall-back ‘Puff’. And as for the wash and go, I have just stopped trying….SIGH.
I’m on the same boat. I watch a million youtube videos and end up almost in tears at the 4+ hours i’ve spent on my hair only to fail miserably at the style. This is my biggest pet peeve with my natural hair. I try a protective style or just try something different with my hair and it never works out..EVER lol..Still love my hair though :-)..I’m sure it will get better when I have a little more length to work with. And as far as wash and go’s go, I have way too many dramatically different textures to even ATTEMPT such a thing. No way Jose`.
The only styles that end up great the first time are the ones I randomly come up with LOL….love the spontainety!
Hair texture! I thought I would have spiral locks that I can just wash and go lol then reality hit! I have a huge thick beautiful fro! and wash and go’s are a no no for me! Love my hair anyways! Especially bantu knots!
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So pretty!!
+1 =) You go girl!
+ 1! Absolutely gorgeous!
Lovely hair!
Gorgeous Lady! Gorgeous Hair.
I can’t do any style involving braiding and my lifestyle won’t allow for such indulgence.I rely on a hair stylist for that and I still save money for the things I’m able to do.
I actually struggled a bit first to remember what my expectations were and then to decide whether they had happened or not. I don’t think I thought that far ahead–I just discovered an overwhelming urge to drop all pretenses, to stop feeling as though I had to apologize for anything about myself, including the way my hair grew out of my head. That feeling was strong enough to carry me through the shock of the big chop–the look on my face was bad enough that the stylist started talking me down immediately–and that first day at work (where I was the only black person in the office and the only black person some of my coworkers had ever known well). The whole thing has been an incredible lesson on self acceptance and I’m so glad I did it.
Beautiful=) I’m happy your happy!
AMEN!!!! CONGRATS !!!!! I have the same Attitude and I am so glad to read your stance. I had been struggling with building my confidence in my natural hair Journey and I finally got to the place that it does not matter what other people think! and I am loving it, every day I get stronger and stronger I find I can care less about what other peoples opinion are concerning my GOD given hair! Family, friends, complete strangers in the store if they are not making stupid comments they are starring and go out of there way to be rude. Well anyway self acceptance is AWESOME!!!! and Thank You for sharing. Pam
My spirt soars reading both of your comments =) Self-acceptance is Awesome! It’s powerful impact on one’s life should never be underestimated. I’m so excited and happy for you both!
This is irrelevant, but the girl in the featured picture looks AMAZING. I love her hair! I can’t tell if it’s dreaded/twisted, or if that’s her curl pattern. No matter; her hair is beautiful.
I was thinking the same thing!
You’re talking about the girl with all of the comment bubbles surrounding her head, right?
Yes! I want her hair.
I had no clue how tragic I would look in the mornings if I didn’t take the time to braid or protect my hair at night. I’m still trying to learn the best way to take care of my shoulder length 4a hair… 🙁
You’ve been relaxed for years probably! You have the rest of your life to learn to care for your hair just like everyone else!
DF this is so true, I was relaxed since I was 5 and I am now 25 going on 26 and I’m STILL learning how to maintain my natural hair, and I’ve been natural for a year.
A little off subject…but it reminded me of the other day when I wanted to do a wash-n-go…once I realized that my hair said “HELL NO” I tried to blow it out…but my hair wouldn’t blow out? Does anyone have any suggestions on how to blow out my 4a/4b/4c (lol, yea I know..) hair?? My twist-outs are always beautiful. Love my poofs and fros but I cannot blow my hair out to save my life. Any suggestions/tips/products/ANYTHING???
nina…YouTube!!!! (then agian, you may already know this by now)
Anyway, You TUbe is what got me through. Doing my natural hair has become a much easier process than it was a couple of years ago.
Oh, and BTW, I never had this much hair growing up!
Hair length is hereditary, no matter how many protective styles you use your hair length and thickness is tied to genetics. My sisters & I all have thick, shoulder length hair, just like our paternal grandma! If nobody in your family has long thick hair chances you wont. Thats why those vloggers that had thick, long relax hair now have thick, long natural hair…its what they always had!
The water draws up, strinks natural hair on most 4 hair types.
Lastly, the shake n go is great on long, lose wavy natural hair. Most folks cant simply wash n go ’cause of shrinkage and lack of natural curls!
I have to disagree. You could be from a family of women who don’t take care of their hair very well, and when you start to change your hair practices, whether relaxed or natural, your hair responds better. My sister NEVER had long relaxed hair. She’s natural now, has changed her hair practices greatly, and has very long natural hair. About waist length stretched. We “inherit” bad beauty and health practices as well.
Not true my hair is very healthy and well taken of and everyone compliments on how thick and healthy our hair is. You are WRONG TO EQUATE LENGTH WITH HEALTH HAIR. If thats the case everyone who had long hair as a kid would stay have it as adults. And we all know someone who that had hair down their back as a child and as adult are bald headed!
And, if you look at the most vloggers with a a thick long natural hair they have that same hair lenth as a natural, ’cause its in their genes! Everyone CANT GROW LONG HAIR!
I do believe you misinterpreted my original point. Please read the BGLH comment below to get a better understanding of what I meant.
Everyone CAN grow long hair. Read “The Science of Black Hair” it’s a great book and explains away that myth.
There are natural hair bloggers who never had long hair (even as children) and have managed to grow their hair out. The main one is KimmayTube, who has shared pictures from her childhood and throughout her life before going natural and her hair was never long. Now it is waist length.
It is possible to grow long natural hair, even if you’ve never had long hair before in your life. But it takes a LOT more effort than women who had long hair as children.
Also, hair strength — which is a genetic trait — is, to me, the optimal determinant. The stronger your hair is, the less resistant it is to breakage, the longer it will grow. Typically naturals who have never had long hair before, or perpetually struggle with length retention do so because their hair is fine/fragile/not strong.
Thanks. You said it very well. I have very fine hair that breaks easily and need TLC to thrive. So does my sister, but she still managed to grow long hair.
BGLH hit it right on the head. The genetic link is to the strength of the hair. If the hair is weak, nothing less then wearing protective styles 99% of the time will preserve the ends and allow you to see length. I know because I have that type of hair. I don’t like protective styles so I deal with the consequences. Low density, fine strands, naturally thin hair. I have watched my friends with stronger hair surpass me but it is cool. Yes, everyone has a terminal length but it is definitely not shoulder length.
“It is possible to grow long natural hair, even if you’ve never had long hair before in your life.But it takes a LOT more effort than women who had long hair as children.”
So women who had long hair (what exactly is long) as kids got it easy huh? They didn’t have to work as hard as the rest? Umm wrong. What does what your mom ( or whoever did your hair) did to your hair as a child, when you neither helped nor hindered, have to do with how long your hair will be as an adult when you are solely responsible for it?
That is one of the most ignorant things I’ve ever heard. And it only adds to the division in the hair community. Doesn’t matter the length of you hair as a child. Not only that but what exactly do you mean by length? As in inches or the point on your body. How many inches waist length is on a 6 yr old is completely different than waist length on a 21 year old. Do you see how stupid that completely unfounded assumption is?
I’m very surprised and disappointed. I saw something like this play out on hair boards. The women had been natural for 4 years and hit waist length. Naturally they are excited and posted pics for other people but then people were like well it’s not that big of a deal for you b/c you had long hair as a child so it’s wasn’t as hard for you to get waste length hair again. Mind you the lady didn’t transition for months and months she BIG CHOPPED down to an inch. It’s like dayum, some people are hell bent of finding a way to divide the black community.
@OMG… I was not aware that there were rifts in the natural community based on who had long hair as a child and who didn’t. So what you’re saying is very new to me.
Also, the intent of my comment was not to divide. There was no sinister intent behind it, and I think that’s pretty clear.
As I mentioned in my comment, long hair as a child can be an indicator of hair strength which, again as I mentioned, is a top determinant of hair length. I wanted to make this distinction because a lot of women erroneously believe that texture is the main determinant (ie. kinky haired women can’t grow long hair and curly haired women can), which I think is a flawed perception.
Many of the style icons we’ve featured had long hair as girls, or long relaxed hair before they went natural, or were always natural and always had long hair. So, I mean, as a site we have nothing against that and don’t see it as any less legitimate.
But, as someone with very fine and fragile hair, I do know that it takes more effort to retain length. I don’t think that’s an outlandish or divisive statement. And it certainly doesn’t mean that a fine/fragile haired natural’s journey is somehow more authentic.
As a child–>young adult with a perm, my hair was right below my sholders at it’s longest, and never surpassed that (due to needed constant trims to stop breakage…I could actually see the hairs spitting)
Now with my natural hair regimen, my stretched hair has already passed it’s previous length max, and I know for sure it is due to cutting out the perms and wash-blowdry-curls, as well as pampering my hair with healthier products.
I have fine thin hair around 3a-3b. When I was a child my mom kept my sister and my hair in 2 braded pony tails no relaxer for years. I had a lot of hair and my mother didn’t want to deal with knots, etc.
After I turned 13 I got my first perm. My bsl hair slowly got to my shoulder and thin. Years later I stopped relaxing and I see it getting thicker and longer. I believe that although genetically my hair can grow, I have to make the right choices to hae healthy long hair
I wouldn’t have responded so harshly, but I can actually testify that this is my situation. I grew up straightening shoulder-length hair, and went natural a year ago. I’m now in college. I never did the big chop because I didn’t have a relaxer, so that would have been unnecessary. However, when I stopped having my hair straightened every other week (can’t do it myself), I suddenly inherited this HUGE poofy head of hair that I had to learn how to deal with. In my opinion its actually easier to cope when you do the big chop because you learn how to style your hair a little at a time as it grows very slowly, but for me I had a very full head of natural hair to handle right at the start, and let me tell you it was not easy to deal with at all.
Seriously? Simmer down there, sport, none of that was said nor implied.
Excellently Explained AusetAbena!!!!
I also have to disagree and inform you that the length of your hair is not hereditary. The only thing that that genetic determines in regards to hair growth is how fast it grows. Its up to the individual to retain length.
I AGREE 100% and have posted the very same comment on numerous blogs, u r EXACTLY correct!!! Hair length is GENETIC LADIES!!! Permed, natural or whatever!
I really wish when people say “its all about genetics,” they would explain it more. Most naturals are confused about the role genetics play. From what has already been posted on BGLH, people might want to search The Science of Black Hair because the author does a great job of explaining HOW genetics works when it comes to our hair.
I’m sorry but I disagree at least 95%. I say this as a natural with a lil over collarbone length hair in just about a year. My mom’s hair is EXTREMELY fine and has NEVER been past her neck from what I can remember. My sister’s hair is thin but VERY coarse and doesn’t ever grow past her shoulders. My other sister has curly type 4a hair (she’s natural like me) and her hair has been BSL. My oldest sister has thick and coarse relaxed hair that stays around (give or take a few inches) shoulder length. My hair is a mixture of all type 4s and is super thick. Not coarse tho. My maternal grandmother? Thin short hair all her life. Paternal grandmother A LOT of hair and wavy and long, but thin. No one in my family has similar textures, let alone lengths. When I was permed, my hair went back and forth between shoulder length and collar bone length and in just under a year of being natural, I surpassed that. I recently cut my hair due to heat damage and it’s already past my shoulders again. I think genetics play a part like BGLH said. My hair has ALWAYS been strong. I could handle perms and colors within days of each other. My hair has always grown faster than almost everyone in my family. I just don’t believe that genetics is everything. I believe that there is a science behind it but my entire family has various lengths and types of hair. Our hair grows at different rates and in different ways. I think it’s more about how you maintain your hair. I take great care of my hair. My sister with thin coarse hair does home perms randomly and doesn’t use any products because she “doesn’t like grease”. Maintenance > Genetics
I don’t agree that hair length is hereditary. I think that is just a myth. And then, what about people who have one side of the family (say maternal) with long hair, and the other grandma (paternal) has short hair?
Also, I think that on many of us, the wash and go is not doable because of tangling and single strand knots, and not because it we don’t have shiny-type curls (that tangle less). If my hair did not tangle/knot, I’d wear wash and go’s often.
I agree that hair length is not genetics, maybe strand thickness and density, but not length, matter of fact its been stated that everyone has the ability to grow their hair at the majority 24 inches. when I was 3 I had midback-waist length hair. But that was the only time in my life that my hair was that long. When I was relaxed it went as far as shoulder and now that Im almost 1 year natural its just collarbone. So I agree that just because you had long hair when you were young , does not mean that its like that for you as your older. As for the ones that say that its hereditary, that sounds very ignorant and it just takes us a step back to where we were as far as the relationship between black women and their hair before the healthy hair kick came around.
I dont mean to be rude or anything but you are the 3rd or 4th person on this post that has stated that the length of your hair as a child has no bearing on the length of your hair as an adult. It seems to me that at 3 yeas old you would have been much shorter than you are now. Your hair may have been at MBL as a 3 year old & may STILL BE THE SAME LENGTH as it was back then. The only thing that has changed is your height. If your hair is at collar bone length as an adult that may actually equate to MBL as a 3 year old…. ijs
Your hair can grow according to how you treat it and how you take care of it. Although, genetics plays a small part in the length and thickness of your hair, but you can still change the outcome of your hair by the way you treat and look after it.
I have to disagree, what about the people who have dreadlocks???
You have little to no manipulation, especially if you have free range locs, or only get then retwisted every once in a while. Locs are determined more by if you moisturize, when you moisturize, your diet & how you maintain yourself just like ANY other style is, but you have less of a chance of EXTRA -by extra I mean more than what your hair naturally sheds in a day anyway- shedding or breakage/tangling because youre not manipulating it as much…. even if you style them.