By Tamara of Natural Hair Rules
As someone who has been natural since 2006, I think I’ve heard them all. But yet I’m still dumbfounded with some of these annoying natural hair questions. Here are the top most annoying hair questions. Many in which you should never ask a woman with natural hair.
1. Can I touch it?
2. Is all that your hair?
3. Is it hard to comb?
4. What made you do that?
5. Are you really natural?
6. What is it supposed to be doing?
7. Are you going to do/comb your hair?
8. How do you wash it/that?
9. How do you get your hair to do that?
10. Did you cut your hair?
Your Turn! What’s your most hated and annoying natural hair question? How do you respond to some of these annoying hair questions?
Leave your answer in the comment section below.
Tamara is the author of Natural Hair Rules.
226 Responses
I blow dry my natural hair every 6 months just to trim the ends. When I wear it to work in two very long cornrows the next day, every other white person says “I like your hair better that way”. My response: “I don’t – it’s SO boring…but thanks”. One backhanded “compliment” deserves another LOL!
Have you ever flat ironed your hair before? Is that all your hair? Can I have your hair? These are questions i get often lol
White people and Asians are the biggest consumers of plastic surgery, yet black women worry about their hair? Fo gigure?
Yeah mnissy, it’s true. Like their hair is the be all and end all of their existence. In the grand scheme of things, it’s only hair. I’m not saying that it isn’t important but boy! I’ve had white people ask me if my hair is real? One woman said to me that she just took it for granted that it was fake, as there’s so much of it. Cheek! So even if the hair is natural it’s bound to be fake? They make me sick! Your gonna laugh. When I used extension people thought it was natural. Now I am a true natural, people think it’s fake! Don’t figure some people. Just smile.
Lol! Yes it’s true, I have been through the same experience! I would lay my weave in high school so righteous, no one could TELL it wasn’t my own! Now, many are asking me if I’m,”all real?” :/
LOL! yes I get the same dern thing! Drives me nuts sometimes.
Yeah. I think what it is is that people are so used to seeing us with our weaves or hair extension whatever, they simply cannot accept that it is entirely possible for black women to have long natural hair. I also think that the sistas who never ever go natural and rely on weaves and extensions are doing us naturals a disservice. People will just take it for granted that naturals are also sporting fake hair, because that’s what they’ve always seen.
I get so fed up with other black women going on about my natural hair. I have been a natural for eight years now. Prior to this I use to relax my hair or have extensions in either twist or plaits. I am light skinned with quite fine features. The only reason I mention that is that it will tie in with what I’m going to say later.
Every time I walk past a black hairdressers shop I get someone running up to me, begging me to do my hair? Eh? Sorry, my hair is already DONE thank you! Leave me alone! I don’t want a weave or a wig or extension! Leave me alone. My hair is beautiful whether these fake haired sistas believe it or not.
The other day at work a colleague of mine said that she thought I was so pretty, but would look much better if my hair was DONE! I told her my hair was fine as it is. She could not accept that I wanted to remain natural. I love my hair. I have invested in my hair. I look after my hair. My man loves my hair. Why should I change it to put someone else’s hair on my head? WHY? The same woman then said that the only reason I can get away with the natural look is because I’m light skinned with fine features? In other words the darker you are the worse it looks! Well I had to laugh at the mentality of this woman. The sad thing is though is that many sistas actually believe this tripe. All I will say is that I will never go back. Sistas, learn to manage your hair. Embrace your natural beauty. Experiment with your natural hair. It will grow and look healthy, believe me. Don’t fall for the garbage of what the white man defines as beauty. We are the real beauties, we know that right?
In my opinion, fine features means well proportioned facial symmetry.. Having fine features doesn’t necessarily mean having NON-black features. Gabrielle Union has “fine features” Her features are very beautiful and very African looking. For me,it’s all about proportion. lol Heck if you were to really take a look at the average white person, they don’t have “fine or well proportioned features “either most of the time! If we are talking about models, well they tend to look androgynous, because most of the people who run the modeling industry are white male gays.
There is such a thing as looking too fine featured as well. Like the Nordic people, I think their features are USUALLY so fine, they end up looking plain, unless they smear tons of makeup on. However, I have seen beautiful people from Holland and I’ve seen just as many beautiful people from Africa.
I think all kinds of features are fine or proportionate. I’m one of those “light skinned” sistahs, who have so called “Fine features” My brothers like to say I have “white features” But I take offense to them saying it, because, my features may just be proportioned. I don’t have a super narrow nose, but I do have a proportioned nose that isn’t overly BIG or overly small. Just saying many white people have big noses or noses that are not that proportioned.
Some people believe beauty is a science. SEE maybe a chin can throw off someone’s face proportions off? or having eyes to set close or to far apart, that can change the whole perception of a face to some people. Look at the girl from Twilight, Kirsten Stewart. She’s got very fine features sharp nose, thin mouth, but a HUGE chin and a big forehead. I don’t find her attractive even though her features are very European.
It’s just that unfortunately MOST people tend to equate Eurocentric facial features, to being well proportioned, when in fact, proportioned features are actually very hard to come by.
Some Scientific studies say that people are more attracted to average faces, so it could be that white people seem more attractive because they are actually average,plainer or uncomplicated looking? However, I totally agree with what you’re saying though. Shucks, my OWN mom said, that the only reason I could get away with having “natural” hair, is because I have so called “Hispanic” features? People act as though ALL mixed, light skinned, or Hispanic looking blacks look “better” I totally don’t agree, and I don’t think smaller features are naturally more beautiful, automatically. I hear what you’re saying, and it’s true. We as black people are so critical of ourselves because of the brainwashing that’s gone on in this country and abroad for so many years. Pardon my English is not so good, but maybe you get the point?
Hi y’all! I’m a natural teen, and just last week I finally straightened my hair after several months, and I have to say: people are ridiculous! The first thing everybody asked was, Is that a weave? Girl! Your hair looks like a weave! and when I say No it’s ALL my hair, they’re just like, it’s pretty long or, Why is it so long? Are you mixed? Seriously, like, black people can have long, healthy hair. We don’t have to be mixed or wear extensions, we just have to know our hair and treat it well. When they saw me make it curly again they seemed so disappointed( but hey, it was dirty and I was missing my curls ). On the flip side, I think finally straightening my hair has got some other girls thinking about going natural! Sadly its only because they saw how it looked straightened rather than appreciating how it looked natural…Oh well, I’ll take what I can get! It’s not that I despise straightened hair or extensions, it just saddens me when black girls are so ashamed of their natural hair, and ignorant of their natural hair. Also, its just hair! It’s an accessory! Sorry I’m ranting now but thx. It’s cool to have a community of naturals to connect with,I’m the only fully african american natural at my high school
Did u cut your hair ?
Are you mixed ?
If your black why do you have long hair ?
How come your hair is sooo frizzy ?
You have tiny curls !
Why don’t you get a relaxer ? It would suit you
I am rather light skinned kind of like a caramel tone.( I do go out and tan) And I STILL get the “Are you mixed” Yes I am mixed, but does it matter/ There are very, very dark skinned people like my daughter and my half sister who have very curly hair. I have met black people from West Africa with dark skin who have naturally curly hair with no race mixing involved. Not all black people have the same hair type. People are really starting to irritate me with their crazy obsession with black women and our hair.
Hey I wonder if anyone heard that bitch Tommy Sotomayor talking about black women’s hair?? He said that when black women go natural,they put down relaxed and weaved black women, but didn’t he say he hates weaved bitches?? (His words) He said that black natural women wear their hair short and then get tired and go get it permed or something? Then you have the coon followers talking about how Tommy is “right in some things he says” No he’s not. Nothing he says is right. He doesn’t use any logic and is ignorant.
But anyway, I get the worst from black men, including my own mixed brother who kept bugging me about “Doing my hair” lol Ok it’s getting ridiculous to me. Everywhere I go I get “Oh what did you put in your hair” then when I start to answer, they act like they don’t care anymore and look the other way. It’s sad but some women act like that. They want to hear that I texturized it, and if they don’t hear that they automatically act uninterested. Or they think you are lying or something. Yes we have the texturized police out there that we have to deal with. They never stop to think that if black people can range from one skin tone all the way to another, that it would make sense that our hair can range too.
So disgusted with people and their ignorance.
While i’m in front of the mirror doing a two strand twist right after i washed my hair, my roommate comes to the bathroom to tell me something, then at the sight of me, she reacts,….”WOW! your hair looks like troll hair”..then catching herself, and a little embarrassed, she murmurs as she walks away…”but..like…in a good way” jokes.
Then, just today, as I was talking to my friends, the subject switched to beer, and I chimed in that i read that beer can be used to rinse hair, and that i want to try it. Then one friend snapped, “why are you always trying to do things to FIX your hair?” fix??? girl..don’t even. then the other, an Indian male, looks at me and says, “lemme tell you a hard truth. you are African. there is nothing you can do to fix your hair”. They better thank God that I am a Christian because rebuttal was graced with love..but yo..those comments kinda hurt for a little. If it wasn’t for a natural hair community online, i don’t even know what id do. So thank God for websites like this one!
Those comments were straight disrespectful–Whether the people were ignorant, joking…WHATEVER!
I’m mad for you :/ But I’m glad you were able to answer them graciously.
You not NAtural right? Your hair naturally wavy not kinky!! Really?? So,k cause my hair is not the kinkiest texture “good hair ” is not natural.. Ignorance! I have Wavy Twirly hair and stopped relaxing over 11 years ago! Yes, I was told even my soft curls were too much..
I don’t have a “most hated question” since I have not been approached that way. I’m reading comments about people’s experiences and what was said to them and I can only imagine how they feel. i guess it depends on where you live. I guess i do have one experience but this is from a family member. My uncle asked his sister,”Barbara, what are you going to do with that(me) hair!?”. My auntie said,”She’s going to have to ask her(My cousin’s girlfriend) that.” I want havana twists but i missed my chance so it didn’t matter. i’m going to get mines done at the salon. i guess this is not a bad thing.
I remember when i was wearing corn row braids and they were not extentions. i transitioned in june and i was 16. I went to a new school in the valley and i walk home. they were circled around my head where you can see my scalp and it’s easy to grease. i had to pin down that little braid out on my head so it won’t be sticking out. i was walking pass a middle school and the gates than some boy yelled out,”It looks like you got an icecream on top of your head!” it did look like an icecream but it was an insult and i didn’t take it offensively though.
I just don’t agree with why people care what’s on my head. it’s not affecting your health in any way. let me be.
I have been natural for about a year and a half now. I did the big chop in April of 2012. I rarely wear straight styles (sew-ins, wig) so I decided to switch it up and see what reactions I would get. The first day I wore my wig one of my co workers approached me at work and said “What are you all dressed up for?!?” (Note that my job has a semi professional dress code). The outfit I had on was not extraordinary. It was a blazer, a nice top, and some jeans. The ONLY difference was my hair. -__- So this leads me to believe that most people don’t find natural hair “dressed up”.
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“Why dont you relax your hair? It’s wasting!” And “I know that one day you will still relax it” and then “how do you comb it?” There are lots and lots of them annoying questions. I have been natural all my life so i’m already quite used to it
I go back and forth between straightened and natural and I always get the same questions
– Why did you cut your hair?
– When are you going to put a flat iron through that?
– Can my hair do that?
I wonder what’s with the “You must be mixed” comments all the time? I think we can all unanimously agree, the “You must be mixed” is by far the most popular annoying comment EVER!!
-is it a weave?
-you don’t have the genes to get curly hair, black ppl don’t have curly hair.
I mainly went natural to prove black ppl can have curly hair and not be mixed.
This guy at my job asked me if I forgot to comb my hair one day.
Oh I think the “is that a sew-in” question was the one I wanted to laugh at the most. I’ve had that so often it scares me. The worst time was when a girl in a cosmetology/hair academy uniform asked me if that was all my hair. I knew I’d never let anyone from her hair school ever touch my head (LOL). No wait…there are always those moments when women slip you the card to their hair dressers. Oh yes…because I want to have your stylist perm me bald, so I can then glue fake hair back to my scalp just like you. Thanks for the help – not. What hurts the most is that it’s women of colour that say the most stupid things. Why, why why?!
I’ve had locs for almost five years, now. They’re a little past mid-back. Questions I hate:
1. Are they extensions?
2. Do they smell?
3. Can you wash them?
4. When are you taking your braids out?
5. So, do you do that (unloc and then loc them) every time you wash?
6. So are you a Rasta?
7. When are you going to cut them?
8. Why don’t you colour/put shells in them?
9. What does your boyfriend think of your hair?
10. Are you going to loc your childrens’ hair?
“I would go natural but I don’t have Good hair like you.”
” You must be mixed with something or your hair wouldn’t be curly like that. ”
“When are you going to straighten it out so you can see how long it is because it’s real long”
Really, seriously… ain’t nobody got time for that…
Oh yes the infamous ignorant comments/questions I get on a daily basis.
-Can I touch your hair? (As they are reaching out for it anyways)
-When I wore my hair down, this super rude white guy who has not be cultured said “It looks like a pillow”…then proceeded to touch my hair!!! I literally beat him to the ground, then told him about his life! I don’t play that.
-Are you mixed? <–This pisses me off, I don't even looked mixed…I wonder how you came up with that question.
-Are you going to straighten your hair? No
-Is that a weave? No..walk away
-My favorite non verbal comment……the stare (I'm like can I help you????)
I'm getting irritated just thinking about the comments and questions…let me stop!
Have a blessed day lol
“Is that your naturally curly hair?” Me:*sigh…*
“Did you get a perm?” Me: “Man, why would I need a perm? I’m black, blacks have from curly to kinky hair silly!!!”
“Are you mixed?”Me: “Does it matter?!”
“Oh my Gaaawd, I’m going to flat iron your hair**giggles** you’re gonna love it!” Me: “I hate straight hair, yuk!!!” (I really don’t hate straight hair , I just want to piss them off)
“So your moms white?,Asian? What is your mom’s race?” Me: Why do you assume that it must be my mom that’s from another race? Are you implying that my mom CAN’T possibly be the black parent?
Mostly get ignorance like, “Is that a sew in?” “Oh you look mixed” I think when people think it’s a weave I GET the most pissed off. Some guy I was arguing with called my hair a” jerri curl, “well I slapped him. I think 90% of black men are just rude and nasty about natural hair, they are probably the most ignorant about it or they swear it’s a weave or something artificial about it. They can be very insulting and hurtful when addressing natural hair. One ignorant black man called my hair “unkempt” I was shocked because I spent hours on my hair and usually pay a lot of attention to it.
White women ask,”how’d you get such perfect curls done? ” ” Oh did you get your hair done? Me: How?
Then some white women look at me like I’m homeless,twisting their face up in disgust.
Yesterday someone asked me what I did to my hair to get it like that. And when I told him I was born like this and that it was natural he said: no! that’s not possible! Hair isn’t like that, did you get a perm or something?
I was pretty frustrated but I got him to believe me that yes! some peoples hair is like this!
And today someone else said: why don’t you make it straight?
me: I don’t want to
person: but there’s a really easy way to do it! when you shave curly hair off, it grows back straight!
why? why? why? are there so many ignorant people in this world?
I realize I was flat ironing my hair extremely to much….could u PLEASE let me know what to do to get my hair back kinky & curly…right now I’m not using no type of heat and trying out sum twist out styles…hate the fact that my ends r not curly anymore..Help!!!
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cut them off. they’re damaged
How did you get those curls??
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I came in to work one day with my two strand twists pinned up and was asked “Did you get dread locs?” -_- Also, “wow, your hair must grow really slow, huh?” No, it’s shrinkage. And one more… “So what are you going to do with it now, get dreads?” I’ve actually been asked this a few times, and dreads are beautiful just not for me!
I came in to work one day with my two strand twists pinned up and was asked “Did you get dread locs?” -_- Also, “wow, your hair must grow really slow, huh?” No, it’s shrinkage.
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Ha! On the articles’ list, I only found the #6, 7, and 8 questions to be annoying. Mostly all of the other ones are based on curiosity (and you’ve got to admit, black women are enigmas because we’re known to be powerful, confident and alluring, prompting the question of, “how does that happen?” for us out of other races). That being said, the most annoying questions really are the ones aimed at hurting and maiming feelings. A lot of the time it has to do with the tone of voice too.
vertmoot.blogspot.com
A lot of times I get “Can I touch your hair???? ….. Oh wow it’s so soft I didn’t expect that”…. Me: (with a dumbfounded look) “well what did you expect.. please tell me.” That is so annoying.
“Excuse me… Where did you buy your hair?”
“How do you get your hair like that?”
“Is it real?”
My hair came from my scalp and my parents blessed me with my curl pattern! That is all!
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When I stopped weaving and finally felt ready and confident to wear my afro (very beautiful and had many positive comments), there was a white old lady (an ex-collegae) looking at my hair. Then she told me that I look like a nigger from the woods with that hair. Then she asked how people like us can live with hair that looks like a bird’s nest. All I did was walk away…. I need my energy for other stuff.
I am not really bothered by the questions from people who want to learn about black hair. I just hate the questions when they try to make us look ugly.
” there was a white old lady (an ex-collegae) looking at my hair. Then she told me that I look like a nigger from the woods with that hair. Then she asked how people like us can live with hair that looks like a bird’s nest. All I did was walk away…. I need my energy for other stuff.”
You handled that with well. You are MUCH better than I am. I probably would have thrown an orchard full of shade at that old biddy before walking away. LOL!!
I get the question can I touch it sooo many times! Since I was a new natural I was still learning how to properly moisturize and seal. So one guy asked me a question about my hair about what I do to it and he went in to touch it and he quickly took his hand back holding it and it shaking like something had bit him and said ewww why does it feel like that? My hair felt really goopy and mushy, and I felt embarassed even though I know I shouldn’t have since he went on ahead and touched it without asking. If he would have asked then I would have said No, or at least given a warning LOL!
And there was another time a girl asked me to touch my hair and it felt perfect that day and so I said yes. She touched it and said ohhhh it feels like a poodle. -__- Is that supposed to be a compliment? I was so confused lol But I took it as a compliment since the poodles hair I’ve felt was nice, fluffy, and soft hm!
Lol!This post should be The Most Annoying natural hair QUESTIONS and STATEMENTS. I remember going to my soccer practice wearing my huge undefined fro. I have a team of predominantly white girls. A lot of the girls was coming up to me complimenting me saying how much they liked my hair, then one of the girls came up to me pointing to my hair and smiling and said I like your….(I said thank you before she could finish her sentence)PERM!I’m like 0_o It’s not a perm it’s my natural hair. I’m sitting here wondering did she even know what a perm was?
HAhahaah!!! Or what about when your white friends look inside your bag to get something and you left your shea butter in there without the lid and they are completely shocked and grossed out saying ew!! Is that food?!
smh *sigh* No it’s shea butter for my hair! lol
Caucasian and people with straight natural hair get curly perms, I think that is what she assumed you had done when she seen your natural textured hair.
I’ve gotten : “why did you cut it?”, “how do you comb it?”, “how do you wash it?”,”can I touch it?”,”wow, it’s so soft!! what products do you use?”
…and then when they see me a few months/year(s) later :”wow, your hair has grown so much!! what did you use to make it grow?”
I was at a party the other day and almost everyone there, male or female had a comment/question/compliment regarding my hair. boy, was it annoying!!
It still look short and picky, are you sure that it’s growing?
Is that a wig?
Yesterday i wore my natural hair out to work for the first time, an afro puff….one of my colleague asks:-
ooooh new hair…cute
Me:yeah! thanks
Him:can i touch?
Me:sure
Him:ooh its soft like Christmas cotton!
I had to burst out laughing!
But then later on another colleague comes along and he was all sarcastic and surprised ,OMG!what happened to your hair!what is that on your head?
What irritated me was the tone of his voice otherwise if he had just asked I would have been fine answering his questions so instead I just chose to ignore him.
You changed your hair again! (yeah that’s a statement but I hate it)
When I big chopped- it was questions like, “why would you want to be bald?” “Wow, you’re going to have to start (growing long hair) all over again..”
When I would wear an afro or 3-day twist out, my mum would say “why won’t you wear it curly (textured) instead of that matted afro?”
Lol, these comments are funny. I have been natural going on 3 years in October and I get dumb questions/comments a lot, especially at work.
Can you wash your hair?
How do you wash your hair?
Is it hard to wash your hair?
“You must not wash it often, because it seem like its hard to wash.”
“You probably can’t do much with your hair since its so thick.”
When I get my hair braided, omg. More dumb questions/comments. lol.
I don’t mind questions because some people are really curious about natural hair, but sometimes its a little offensive. Like, who on this earth doesn’t wash their hair? C’mon!!!
Questions I have gotten so far..
“Is that all your hair?”
“Is that a weave?”
“Are you mixed?”
My Answers…
Yes its all mine.
No it is not.
I am Afro American.
Comments they’ll say after I answer…
“Well you just got good hair.”
“You have good genes.”
My reply… “All hair is good hair.”
If they ask for hair advice after this. I give them the websites that I utilized, that helped me in learning to do my hair, because in my experience most people that ask me for advice are looking for a product that will magically grow or change their hair. They look at me like I am some alien when I proceed to tell them that all it took was some TLC and patience.
If they really wanted to know how to CARE for their hair they will look up the information, so I leave it in their hands and go on about my business.
Note: Im more than willing to give advice, but most people that have asked me questions brush me off when they find its not a product that grew my hair or gave me a curl pattern. So I just avoid talking about hair outside of online hair forums because it became extremelly frustrating.
Leaving conditioner and gel in your hair wet does’nt make your hair sour?
Did you uses straws to set your hair?
Did it shrink?
Did you wash it?
Can you wash it?
Girlfriend, how are we going to go get cornrows now?
Why did you change it?
Oh, it was Black History Month.
Is that how your ancestors wore it?
What about your boyfriend?
Does he like it?
Ugh, he dumped you?
Could you hook us up?
I’m just kidding!
-Awkward Black Girl
I haven’t gotten any annoying comments yet, but I’m binge-watching ABG again and I’m on the second episode and J’s annoying boss asked those questions. It reminded me of this article. Sorry if I’m being annoying- couldn’t help myself XD
You’re so brave…!
Why did you decide to put two strand twists in?
Your hair looks so much better flat ironed!
That’s not as bad as when I came to work after flat ironing my hair and a lady said “see that’s how you know your texture is that bad, because if it was you wouldn’t have been able to do all that” -____-
“Girl what is the name of that wig your wearing?” Than after we go through the whole it’s my hair routine. The follow up question “Are you mixed with something?” Well most of us are but both of my parent are African American. “So did you set your hair on rollers or rods?” No this is my natural hair pattern.
Been natural since 2003, (3c hair type). Got all those annoying question and more but over time people get use to it and new people meet you with only natural hair. Now that folks are use to it or only in awe of it. Now I get,
– Your hair is so cool, I wish my hair could do that
– I hate you, perfect hair, perfect skin, full lips… uhh (coming from a Greek girl born and raised in Greece)
– I just love how you can do anything with your hair, its so versatile
– You have like a different style everyday, its never boring
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What products do you use?
Your job doesn’t have a problem with that?
How long is it?
So when are you going to straighten it or get another perm?
lol people kill me
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My most annoying qestion is, “your hair looks dry, why don’t you put grease on it?”
My mom asked me once: You will never relax your hair again…???So how you gon wear it on your wedding day???
Can’t even remember what I answered, but with time her attitude changes and she’s now 1 month natural(looking forward to see how long her journey will last)LOL
Why did you cut all your long hair ?
What do u put in it ?
Is it dry ?
So, black girls hair can get long?
How come your hair doesn’t look like her hair? ya’ll are both natural.
Your hair is pretty but I could never do that because you have ‘good hair’. Then I say, ‘All of us have so-called good hair. When you get rid of the perm, your hair can do this too’.
One question that I get asked that’s not on this list is “what do you do to soften your hair?” :/
I have locs pass my waist. An x-ray technician asked if I could take my hair out for chest x-ray.
OH NO!!!!!!! WOW!
Now how would that work? Did you ask how you were supposed to do that?
Did you tell him to kiss your a$$?
lol its not funny but seriously?! was she surprised when you told her it was your hair and you cant take it out?
did that person mean put your hair up so it won’t obstruct the x-ray or litteraly remove the hair from your head?? lool
“So how long EXACTLY is your hair if you take that bun/braids down???”
When are you gonna relax your hair? I’m pretty easy going, but that one really rubs me the wrong way.
Have you ever straightened your hair? This gets me going. Uh…. Have you ever permanently curled your hair? What kind of under-handed question is that 🙂 ha ha ha
Asking “Can I touch it” is not even what they do. They just come up to me and touch my hair and be all up on it.
Stupid Question: Wow, it’s grown long, when are you going to put a relaxer in it?
My response: Never.
Follow up question: Not even a texturizer? It will help loosen the kinks.
I’m not bothered by the question “how do you get your hair to do that?” Or anything similar. i remember not too long ago that was me and didnt have foul intentions. I Consider the fact that most black people perm their hair not just because they prefer straight hair but they believe their hair is too kinky to manage.
I’ve been natural for a while (stopped perming in my last year of high school). I knew my hair curled when wet but I had no idea how keep it curly when dry and not a matted mess. No one with curly hair offered advice just “Air dry or just manage it”. My hair dresser was no help either “your hair can’t curl like those girls. You need to press it to tame it every 6 weeks” o___O
If it bothers you just keep in mind that your answer might help educate the person and redirect whatever ignorance they have 🙂
I must say that some of us has really serious issues, and like to think negatively about some of the most innocent questions. My hair has been natural my whole life, but one day I saw a friend and she had the cutest hairstyle, which i was thinking of trying – when i asked her that question, she got so sarcastic, it wasn’t funny. Right there and then i decided that if i saw another natural person no matter who they were i would never ask them how they achieved it, i would compliment if the spirit moves me to – but that would be the end of it.
Right Ida, I am not at all bothered by this question! We pre poo, cowash, do acv rinses, deep condition, do protein treatments, twistout, braidouts, bantu knot outs, pineapple…geesh! I don’t know anyone who just gets up and goes. If someone asks what I do to get my hair like this I tell them. It’s usually a twist out on wet hair. I mean, I am natural but my hair has been manipulated to some degree.
when are you going to “make”(braid,install a weave) your hair? if just ONE more person asks me this question I might go Hulk on them
“How does your hair looks like when you wake up?”
Oh another one:
“Did you use[INSERT PLETHORA OF PRODUCTS HERE]”
“Did you pre-poo, post-poo with {INSERT PRODUCTS HERE} ”
“Co-Wash?? omg You don’t use shampoo? That’s weird. “
“Are you mixed with anything?” I get this one a lot now?
What did your husband say when you decided to go natural?
Does your husband “like” your hair?
I got asked, where’s the track? (The track of hair weave)
I guess you could classify my hair as 3C, but when I get micro-braids with extensions put in:
“You don’t *need* to braid your hair” or “Why do you braid your hair?”
X-(
i almost forgot the most common one men always ask!
“So when are you going to straighten it?” and “How long is it when you straighten it?”
X-( X-(
I’ve been natural 5 yrs& only a few times I get the “can I touch it?” question OR they say “ur hair is nice…” and just touch it without permission!
I also love when they haven’t seen me in a while but know I stopped perming so they say “ur hairs nice!” with surprise as if they expected it to be jacked up jbc its natural! Smh
Or when they see I have somewhat curly hair and say “oh,u got that kinda hairn..id go natural 2 if I had ur kinda hair!” As if u have to be curly to be natural. texture had nothing to do with why I went natural! So condensending & sterotypical of the “good hair syndrome”.
How are you going to comb it after it starts growing longer?
How do you have the patience for your hair?
Aren’t you going to do something (style) your hair?
When was the last time you blew out your hair?
Guys who say, “I like natural hair-the way you’re wearing your hair.” “I don’t care for perms or wigs.”
Some still ask me if I’m “natural”.
“I bet your hair is really long.”
“Is your hair longer than my hair?” (This question is coming from another natural.)
I’m so sorry! I was trying to UPvote!
“My__________is natural.”
“I like________hair; you should do that with your hair.”
“Why do you want a flat iron?”
“Can I get my hair to do that?”
“I can’t wait for your hair to get longer and big”
Or “You look like you stuck your hand into an electrical socket!” (followed by laughter)
“Why does your hair look so wild?”
Or after flat ironing it…
“How did your hair get this long?”
“Can I touch it?”
“Why don’t you have dreads like me? Makes your hair longer” — some people have dreads to have long hair.. SMH!
“Do you mind if I only do your make up? Your hair is too difficult to style”
How about: Are you locking your hair?
Are you going to Straighten it?
Why did you went natural? As if you need a “reason” for letting your hair grow naturally.
I wore my afro hair out, for the first time ever last Sunday.
I’ve been natural for my entire life, 20 years and this was my first time – no scrunchies or bobby pins. I feared unwanted attention.
All I got was terrified, perplexed looks and one guy went as far as to ask me ‘What is this crazy hair for?’.
This really perplexed me, to be honest. The ‘crazy hair’ he referred to was that given to me by God. I felt so silly and offended.
So, I’m crazy for wearing my hair unprocessed and without extensions? Okay.
First of all you are blessed to natural your entire life!!!!I share your sentiments. When I wear my fro out I get the good bad and the ugly. You would think living in NYC people wouldn’t be fazed by big hair….
Bump everyone else’s insecurity and rock your God Given Hair!!!
How come so and so’s hair isn’t growing?
“When are you going to get a perm?” – Mom
Surprised that didn’t make the list! That was my first thought, people always ask me that, smh.
“Oh, it’s soft!” (with surprise)
I’ve gotten that one – as if it’s supposed to feel like a brillo pad…smh
What is it supposed to be doing?
I have to give my stamp on 6. Because once you go natural, I don’t know why they assume your hair can all of a sudden start “talking” and let you know what “it’s” going to do….WTH
“When are you going to comb your hair?” I get that all the time but unfortunately it’s when my hair really wants a redo. I keep my hair in box braids or twists for about 2 – 3 months before doing it over, no matter how “bad it looks”. I love the “almost rasta” look of my hair, too bad the world doesn’t.
I’m going to second, “Did you cut your hair?”
Them: “How did you get your hair like that?”
Me: “Um…. I washed it.”
Them: “No, I mean, how does it do that?”
Me: “It grows out of my head this way….”
I tried a twist out and my hair isn’t really that long and everyone was like are you locking? Whats going on with your hair ??
“Are you going through a natural hair phase?” LOL smh.
I’ve not been annoyed often at questions, but I have been heartbroken at my black folks reaction to natural hair. Many of my West Indian people in particular are still on the good hair, bad hair nonsense and it makes me sad when my “should-know-better” friends say “I couldn’t do that with my nappy hair.” Just sad…as if by just growing out of our scalp our hair automatically needs ‘fixing.’ It’s even worse coming from weavers and relaxers with unhealthy hair.
lol “how did you get your hair to do that”. That’s funny. Sorry because these are annoying questions to you but seeing them there made me chuckle. I just ignore people. I find them amusing.
Your hair don’t look right!
Aren’t you supposed to retwist?
You have spoiled your hair.
You look like a rastawoman.
Why did you decide to do that?
What made you do THAT to your hair?
*touching my hair like it’s a caged beast… with fear and trembling! lol
I have locks that I started myself, so they are different size and form. And out of convenience I decided that I wanted to freeform. There is nothing spiritual or philosophical about it. I’m just lazy!
I’ve been natural since 2007 and I did the big chop, so going from very long hair to no hair I would get this all the time what are u doing to your hair, why would u want to be natural, I could never do that how do u know if u have good hair or not.
I have “curly” hair, and i’m dark skinned. so one qs I get asked the most by black people is, “do you have in a texturizer” & when i say i don’t they look at me like i’m lying. some say it’s the dye in my hair that made it curly, which is just as ridiculous.
white people usually just ask if i used mousse, they’re shocked that i use gel in my entire head. but i also feel like they compliment me more than they ridicule or ask qs.
Oh lord, this. The idea that if you’re dark, you don’t actually have a right to the hair on your head. I swear sometimes it seems like they literally get angry.
I have locs and when i style them differently here are the questions:
Braid out: Are those braids? Pipe cleaner curls: Did you cut your hair?
Weeks after curls go: How did it get so long? Overall: Are you a rasta?
It would bad if this was a stranger but I work with these people for 6 years???
I’m sitting here reading the post and I can so relate to all of these questions plus more. I don’t mind the compliments, but its the annoying questions I get along with the weird looks when you answer the questions. What’s even more annoying is their comments back to you.
“What do you use on your hair?”- You explain, then they come up with a reason they can’t use the product or comment “My hair won’t do that, it’s too nappy.”
“How did you get your hair like that?”- You explain your process. “This is a twist out/braid out. Here’s what I do to get it this way.” Their response “Oh, that’s too much work, I don’t have time for that.”
In my head, I’m thinking “damn, why the heck did you ask me”…LOL.
So now, I just make up stuff just to see their reactions.
“So now, I just make up stuff just to see their reactions.”
LOL!
Suh, Wah yu turn Rasta?!
This one is real especially from old people.
“Girl, You’re hair would be so long if you had it relaxed.”
If always had an abudance of hair natural or relaxed. And if I wanted a relaxer I would have one.
What products do you use??????????? I want to tell them it’s not all about th eproducts, alot of it is in the hair and the styling.
Try being a natural in China. When I wear twists: Does your hair grow out of your head like that. If I am wearing braid extensions: Does your hair grow of your head like that. So you get the picture. And also, how will you comb it..How will you wash it…Your hair is so strange….Can you do mine like that….Very fast way to learn the local language
Do they ask you if your natural hair is a perm all the time? I live in South Korea, and even though I have explained to my students several times that my hair is NOT a perm, they still ask me, “teacher…pama (Korean for perm)???”
Hahaha so true. I’ve been learning Chinese and Korean for the past two years and when I talk to my friends they all ways ask how come my hair isn’t straight or how I keep my hair so nicely puffy and roots constantly done, doesn’t it wear out XD me it’s not a perm to wear out haha. I had one friend say “Your hair is like the most prettiest bowl of black rameyon” me… O_o
i have more white people compliment me on my hair than i do black people and that includes folks in my own family! my boss (an older white man) came in my office for something and before he left he said “what’d you do to your hair, it’s different” i didnt take offense because of the way he asked and because he’s an older white man who doesnt know about our hair and i could tell he’s been wanting to ask me for a while so i told him “i didnt do anything this is my hair without chemicals” and he said “i like it, you look good.” i have a cousin who hates natural hair. she said that its not for everyone and i said how is that possible when its your natural hair? its natural, its what your hair really looks like so it has to be for everyone! saying you dont like the style would make more sense and i can understand because i dont like all styles natural or relaxed!!
To be honest, I don’t get annoyed by most questions. People are asking because they’re curious, and most genuinely don’t know, but want to. Why not spread the knowledge and lessen their ignorance?
Also, this is not a ‘question’ because those guilty of this are convinced they already know what they are talking about before hand.
However, I’m tickled when white folks interchange ‘twists’, ‘dreads’, and ‘braids’ like they’re all the same thing…oh and when they call cornrows, “corn rolls”. LOL! Then you explain it to them and then they get all confused.
I dunno there is something embarrassing about someone saying loudly that they like your dreads and when you know you don’t even have any.
*I love dreads and locs btw, no shade.
Let me preface with that fact that I work outdoors in a garden/nursery. I wear my hair in mini-twists 95% of the time out of convenience and time management. I wore my afro out and free one day and 2 white co-workers were talking to each other and staring at me when I walked up. The 30-something woman says, “I really like your afro, I just can’t believe you wore it TODAY, aren’t you hot?!”. It had me scratching my head at first. I was confused and responded, “Nooo…my hair isn’t ‘hot’…”
As if I woke up on that hot summer day and decided to put on a giant wool cap or something. It’s not a HAT, it’s my hair. It has plenty of ventilation. It’s the same hair I wear every single day of my life rain or shine, no matter how I decide to style it.
She didn’t mean any harm, but the ignorance was astounding. Maybe she thought it was a wig or weave…who knows..
i get really hot when i wear my fro out; what she asked was fair enough. having alot of hair on your head will make you hot.
If I get asked “Is that a roller set or just those twisty-thingies 1 more time!!
Twice I got asked how do you get your hair like that and when I started to explain, got interrupted with ” I don’t like gel”. Once I tried to explain that I only combed it wet with conditioner and the lady interrupted me “if you don’t comb it it’ll lock”. I just wanna say look google natural hair.
“when are you going to get it done” or the even more direct “yah, I need to get my hair done too *tugs a grown out weave*”
And I’m like: did I get carpal tunnel doing this updo for nothing?? It IS done -______-
HAHAHAHAHAH!!!
I’ve had the can I touch it question when I was relaxed. Sometimes I let people touch it but it depends on who. I’m very biased. I’ve also had people dig their hands in my scalp. Sometimes I ask people if their hands are clean before they touch it or as they are doing it. Moreso to make them feel like an ass for touching my hair/scalp with “dirty” hands. But also, if you are trying to figure your own hair and you see my hair, then I oblige. But I do think these questions/comments are annoying. Like our hair comes from another planet. IT’S JUST HAIR!!!! #thatisall 🙂
straighten it haha
i forgot about this one. i live in texas around a lot of spanish speaking people. i swear to god. they do not understand that just because i have thick bushy kinky frizzy curly nappy shiny hair that I wear full and afroed out, i am not a native Spanish speaker. TO ALL NATIVE SPANISH SPEAKING PEOPLE THAT READ THIS BLOG JUST BECAUSE A BROWN SKINNED FEMALE HAS THICK (NOT WEAVED AND NOT CHEMICALLY STRAIGHTENED) NATURAL HAIR DOES NOT MEAN SHE IS NOT BLACK. i absolutely hate hate hate for those people to come up to me and start speaking Spanish to me like Spanish is my first language, too. I hate it. I look like a black woman whose roots grew in Africa and am proud of it from nappy hair down. Now if somebody comes up to me speaking some African dialect, well, then I would be delighted. Just that yt doesnt teach African languages in grade school so I might not understand, but I would be willing to learn.
I loved your statement…….
Cept there are Black Latinos so maybe you look like someone from their background. I get columbians all the time, not because I don’t look black but apparently there are a whole bunch of black columbians that look like me. No surprise, diaspora and all
Have you seen Henry Louis Gates’ Black in Latin America documentaries? We got dropped off all throughout (Cuba, Puerto Rico, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Brazil, Mexico…).
I thought that only happened to me. I live on the north side of Atlanta in an area with a lot of Spanish speaking people. Before I went natural, I would have people speaking spanish to me and now that I’m natural I get it even more. They stop talking once they notice the weird look on my face.
I get that too. But I understand because there are black Latinas all around the world. I’m dark skinned and I got that a lot when I was in the military and I still do.
I feel so disrespected by your comment There are many hispanics who are black and Africans were taken to Latin America as well. If you do not speak spanish just say no hablo español and move on. It seems that you do not believe there is such thing as afro latinas and that is in fact ignorant and wrong.
“Are you going to finish doing your hair?” like bitch this is IT, lol, that was when I had first went natural, now everybody like: How you get your hair like that?
Is that all yours? No like ALL of it? Really?! Can I touch it?
“Are you trynna get dreads?” I get that at least once a week.
I get that a lot when I wear twist. Even if I were a curly twist out that’s in an afro -_-
i actually don’t see what’s wrong with about half of these. i think it all depends on context/tone/intent, etc. if someone’s merely curious and truly doesn’t know, there’s no harm in asking.
1. Can I touch it?
– what’s wrong with this one? if someone who’s not familiar with my hair or natural hair in general asks to touch it, then i appreciate them asking rather than just grabbing a handful of hair without having asked first.
2. Is all that your hair?
– considering that at least half of black women are wearing weaves/wigs at any given time, i can understand why someone might ask this one. i’ve gotten this question all my life, so maybe it’s easy for me to shrug it off. usually this one can be seen as a compliment.
3. Is it hard to comb?
again, if you’re not familiar with natural hair it’s easy to assume that it’s difficult to get a comb through it. in fact, most of us have “horror” stories of having broken teeth, if not entire combs, in our hair, so i think this one is pretty fair game for someone who doesn’t know any better.
4. What made you do that?
I don’t understand this one. what made you go natural? never got this one before. or the next one, for that matter.
5. Are you really natural?
-i don’t have a frame of reference for this one. so i don’t know what someone could mean in asking it. as opposed to being fake natural? what?
6. What is it supposed to be doing?
this one does seem rude, and it almost sounds like they’re regarding the hair as though it’s a crazed beast/creature, thing, rather than an adorning inanimate object, or what have you. i’ve never gotten this one. the closest i’ve incurred to this effect was “what are you trying to do with your hair, gurly?” which comes off much better and less derisive, in my opinion.
7. Are you going to do/comb your hair?
gotten this one before, and again, just chalk this up primarily to western influence of straight> not straight. it’s annoying, i’ll agree, but i can also see why someone not familiar with our hair might assume we haven’t combed or done something to our hair if they themselves don’t share the hair type, and they behold ours in its loose natural state. of course that doesn’t detract from the presumptive nature inherent in the question in that one’s hair must look a certain way in order to be “done”, but that’s a rant for another day.
8. How do you wash it/that?
this one’s not damning in and of itself, but only so much as someone’s tone and intent might make it so. if someone genuinely is curious, no harm. in fact, i can easily see someone who, for example, has had, say, limited experience with natural hair short of negative experiences wanting to know for the sake of enlightenment how on earth we can get our scalp/tresses clean under all those tangles and knots galore? it’s a valid question, i think, because in a way, when you peruse the plethora of instructional videos and blogs and posts there are dedicated just to the proper way to wash natural hair, i can understand why someone might be curious on this point. a lot of us started out ignorant as well, so i don’t judge.
9. How do you get your hair to do that?
this one usually comes about as the result of an assumption that one texture can’t do this, or another texture can’t do that. it’s annoying because of that, but in and of itself, again, it’s pretty innocuous. that’s like my justified puzzlement and incredulity that a person with bone straight hair naturally can actually get curls out of a bantu knot out. i’ve seen this with my own eyes, but prior to it i didn’t think it was possible. tickle me pink to discover that they can get the curls to hold- courtesy of a profusion of holding spray, of course! but nevertheless, we tend to get defensive when someone assumes, in a nutshell, that our naturally kinky hair is somehow limited in one aspect or another. this question embodies that assumption, and therein lies the tension. this will depend on how you want to take it, but it’s always best to remember that if someone’s asking, it’s because they don’t know. which makes it an opportunity to spread enlightenment and awareness of how awesome our hair is!
10. Did you cut your hair?
this one’s easy to understand, and i’d only find it annoying if someone who has natural hair asked me this. if it’s someone who is either relaxed (hasn’t been natural) or of another texture entirely asking, i’ll assume they don’t know much about black hair and illustrate for them how my hair can stretch to the fullest when it’s wet and how as it dries or depending on how it’s styled it can draw to maybe half it’s actual length, if not more.
usually when people ask this they’re not being rude; they really are trying to figure out what’s going on with our hair. i can work with that, provided it comes from a thoughtful, respectful place. 🙂
Everything is not for everybody. What may not bother u, may bother someone else. That’s what makes us uniquely different from each other!
I agree to an extent. The woman who works at one of the organizations I attend has the most massive, beautiful fro I ever saw. I was curious if it was all hers. I didn’t ask though because I wasn’t sure if she would find it rude. Seeing how some of the ladies on this board find it SO annoying for a person to genuinely ask that I’m glad I didn’t. You were stating your opinion which you’re entitled to. If the question is someone just being curious I seeing nothing wrong IMO. But if a person is obviously being rude then I see a reason to get defensive. BTW I was asked is it all my hair before from curious people. I found it flattering. Just my two cents and sorry for the long response.
I don’t care about answering curious people questions, because most I find annoying. I have answered people’s questions if they seemed genuinely nice. Sometimes people are ignorant and their ignorance can be extremely annoying.
Asking is it all their hair implies that black women can’t grow their hair and just wear weaves. Some people find that state of mind annoying. I can spot the average weave a mile away, so sometimes it’s easy for me to tell.
I too hate people trying to or touching my hair. I just don’t like being touched my people I don’t know well or that isn’t my boyfriend.
or when you upload a picture and multiple people ask for a tutorial. like my goodness go on youtube and just search the style there are alot of bun and braid tutorials i will not make a tutorial.
The questions I get are… is that a wig, when are u going to straighten it, what made u go natural?
From hair care professionals:
PLEASE let me texturize this.
But..but how do you maintain it!?
Nurse at mother’s hospital bedside:
Oh, if you would do your eyebrows and put perm, you would be SO beautiful.
Mother, who is natural but has never grasped the whole must-trim-ends thing, post salon trim that I was actually quite unhappy about, angrily and at top of lungs:
THAT’S RIGHT, JUST THROW ALL YOUR BEAUTY AWAY!
(She’s backed down somewhat now that my hair is the longest it’s ever been, but that hurt.) (And I trim my own ends at present.)
“Did you cut it?” is my most annoying
I personally don’t mind the question to touch my hair – as long as they wait for the go ahead (is kind of awkward if u want to say no though right?)
But I think these questions, touching and general personal space invading is prone by certain people (too curious for their own good) and can target anyone e.g. Pregnant women and touching the belly, being the opposite colour of the local population and pictures being taken … The list goes on
Folks have come up with every creative way to ask me if I want my hair straightened. Smdh
Why don’t you straighten it?
How long is your hair?
It isnt really a question its an assumption that you can just walk up and put your hand in my afro puff. Thats the thing I hate more than anything else. I dont know you from Adam the housecat. Why is your hand in my head?
it’s interesting (and sad) the difference in questions when you have visible curls or not.
True story while living in Kenya several women, without invite or introduction would walk up to me and scratch my scalp. I guess checking for tracks. A white friend almost peed his pants laughing at me, thinking I’d been making this up.
How about, your hair used to be so pretty, don’t you want to be pretty again?
All of these questions are quite annoying and can be embarrassing. These silly and annoying questions are the reasons why a lot of us don’t go natural.
Well, I’m happy to say that I’m a year and a half into my natural hair journey and it feels wonderful.
1) What do you put in it to get it to look like that?
2)Can I touch it?
3)That’s not all your hair, is it?
4)Are you mixed?
When are you going to do something with your hair? (I hate that the most)
how long is it? my answer – u r looking at it, how long IS it?
how did u get it like that? – my answer – both my parents had nappy hair.
can i touch it? – my answer – dont know u well enough for all that
the other day an old black man pulling into a gas station complimented my hair asked it he could touch it. i told him no i didnt know him well enough. he got mad huffed and puffed and asked me what i thought he would do to my hair by touching it. He actually got offended because I would not let him touch my hair.
but truth be told, id much rather somebody say or ask, than just stare.
How’s about he just grow his own and play with it all. day. long.
The nerve of some ppl.
That’s something I never understood. Why do some people get mad because you them that they couldn’t touch YOUR hair. They did ask a “yes” or “no” question.
*i answer there question*
they follow with:
well, i’m natural….up under all of this [weave to her ankles]
Then, relaxed: Is that your real hair (disbelief)? Boyfriend: Don’t you mind spending a whole day at the salon to get it done?
Now, 15 months transitioning: is that you real hair (disbelief)? Boyfriend: Don’t you mind doing your hair all day – pre-poo, wash, deep condition, moisturize and twist?
Guess nothing’s changed- LOL
Lol why is he asking ‘don’t you mind?’ It’s like asking someone ‘don’t you mind that you have to take a shower every day’. I understand the salon because there’s no way that most salons couldn’t complete client’s hair sooner.
You seem to be enjoying your hair journey though!
1) What are you going to do with your hair?
2) Why don’t you smooth down your edges?
3) Do you have pieces in? Really? You swear?
4) Why don’t you moisturise it?
5) Is it hard to comb?
6) Why don’t you grow it longer?
7) Why don’t you straighten it?
8) Why don’t you wear it out?
9) Why don’t you do an Afro?
10) Are you going out with it like that?
People don’t really understand ‘MY’ 4C hair. I also have my sister who is a low density very fine haired natural asking me why I don’t do what naturals on Youtube do when I have hair like theirs. Mind you she’s looking at XGoldn at the time who doesn’t have 4C hair anyway. I think dense hair makes people think you’re faking it these days. I wish…..
“Is that colored hair? You must be colored” (colored to mean “mixed”)
“How come you have curly hair?”
“How do you get it to look like that?”
“What wig is that?”
My mother, every time: “You have nice hair. Why don’t you perm it? Just once, please I’m tired of looking at your hair like this just perm it!”
Um, for the 1500th time, no mother. Please stop asking me to relax my hair. One time she even followed me around with a box of ORS relaxer and threatened to relax my hair in my sleep. No joke.
Wow, how does one follow another around with a relaxer?! That is just scary!
LOL! My mom doesn’t bug me to relax it but she’s always asking when I’m going to have it straightened at the salon.
Ah! Let me give praise for my blessings! My mom has locs down to her butt 🙂 She’s all supportive…..but still traumatized from when she had to deal with my hair as a kid….lol….so she screams when I am just finished dry detangling it….lol
“did you cut your hair”
Every.single.time I don’t wear it stretched.
Has got to be “Are you going to relax it?”. Close second “What are going to do with your hair for [insert event]”.
People tell me how I got my hair to be like that and how I got curls. I tell them two black people had sex. That’s why.
I’m always wearing protective hair style… I know some people gonna say is not good but for me my hair is style going healthy & I still take care of them. Always ask: how long is your hair? Ahaha
“How do you get your hair to do that? ”
“With straw sets right?”
(Sigh)…No 🙂
*sigh* Are you mixed? Are you African?
Nope! Just black/African American.
No, really!? But you have such pretty curly hair!
…………….-____-
How do you get it to curl like that?
It must take you forever to comb that out.
It’s real isn’t it?
Wow! You have big hair.
Look at all that!
It feels like a cloud or a pillow or something!
How do you… y’know, wow. Just how do you…*gestures with hands like their brushing away a massive fro that is slowly consuming their head*
(What do people think our hair is made of really? Dish sponge? Geez.)
One more:
*Pointing to another black girl with a completely different hair texture* “You should do your hair like that! It looks so pretty 😀 ”
I actually had a friend say that to me while pointing to a woman an AMAZING, perfectly round gorgeous afro-puff. I looked at her, burnt up with something remarkably like envy and had to suppress the urge to smack my friend upside her damn head as I responded: “I can’t… she has a different hair texture and mine just wouldn’t be able to do that style.” I can get a puff, but it isn’t even close to the lusciousness that that woman had. I think she had 4c-ish hair on a glance (of course I can’t say for sure.) My hair is 4a, and sort of… flops rather than puffs properly, and tends to look uneven 😐 it’s just unfair.
OMGEEEE!! I thought i was the only one rocking the 4a floppy fro!! Floppy fros unite!
My Asian friend said that to me once pointing to a mixed girl on t.v. with hair like Mel B. My hair is 4b/c or whatever — all kink, no curl. Not possible.
Yeah, I wish I could get my hair to stay like that. I’ve tried. I even managed it twice. But now that it’s longer, it’s even more asymmetrical. My sister use to call my hair confused, lol.
Most summed it up with the questions but I will add:
1) Are you going to texturize it? Or do a blow out kit? You know you don’t have to get a full relaxer but you can texturize it.
2)Why don’t you do your hair like *insert popular youtuber*? (And mind you, some of the youtubers they name don’t have the same hair texture as mines).
3) How are you going to catch a man with your hair like that? You need to put some weave in it or something… (I actually had a random lady tell me this and MIND YOU she was in public with a bonnet on her head at the time trying to lecture me about making my hair look attractive/presentable…smh)
Yes to number 3. I actually had a woman “advise” me that I wasn’t going to get married because my hair is natural. It amazes me how people can be so damn ignorant and proud about it.
Now that your natural what you gonna do with it?
What kind of wig is that?
How do you get your curls to look so springy?
How about this one from a much older lady. “You know, you need to stop wearing those wigs, and weaves and things” Me — blank expression, don’t know what she’s talking about – because my hair is in rope twists and you can see my scalp
I live in a subtropical area and today it was a rainy and humid day. Therefore,my hair had shrunk up. Ironically, my bf asked if I had cut my hair or if I a wear weave because my hair is usually in a stretched state when we talk. We’ve only been talking for around 3 months, but I know that he is going to need some type of small hair talk really bad -_-.
What do you put in it for it to curl up like that?
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1. Can I touch it?
2. How do you get it to do that?
3. Are you ever going to perm or straighten it?
4. Is that a weave?
5. Are you mixed?
Questions
what are you mixed with?
Is that your real hair?
How did you get it to stand up like that?
Is it really that thick?
How do you wash it?
Can you comb it?
Can I smell your hair (yes someone asked me this).
Assumptions
You have a jheri curl
I know its hard for you to comb it.
……smell? Someone actually wanted to smell your hair? But whyyyy?!?!?
Lol yes, this girl at school came up to me, started talking to me about my hair, and asked to smell it. I thought I misheard her, but I didn’t. I gave her the okay, but I was still like “WTF?” I don’t know what she truly expected it to smell like. I guess like nuts and berries lol. It was a good thing that I had washed my hair recently at the time .
(1) Where are you from, cause I know you aren’t from here?
(2) You mean you’re not planning on perming it? EVER?
(3) Is it heavy cause that’s a lot of hair?
(4) Do you do anything special to it? Secret creams or conditioners? What? You wash with cheap Suave and VO5??!! No way!
lol .. had my hair in a twist out with a head band kinda lik a high puff a lady asked if it was real,,, cause she knows some girl wear extra hair…. then she said it was cute and that it looked like a hat lol…….. she meant well it was kinda funny
Is it real ?
Questions: (1) “How long is your hair when you straighten it?” (2)”Are you EVER (big letters for emphasis) going to straighten it?”
Declaration: (3)”Your hair is cute but would be so pretty if you straighten it”
My replies:
(1) I don’t know exactly; haven’t checked.
(2) No plans to do so any time soon
(3) Thanks, but I think it’s pretty as is.
oops sorcomment submitted beforeI finished.
plz excuse my naivety. but what is annoying with people touching my hair? I also would be wow if people ask if its all my natural hair etc.
never ending learning
Some people like myself don’t like being touched by strangers. It’s like someone walking up and grabby a part of your body, like a breast or butt. Plus it puts people into my personal space. I don’t like being touched by people I don’t know and I also hate dirty hands.
Well 33years growing up living in Africa I never got any of those questions and only got ‘did you cut your hair’ once in 1 yr of living in Germany. Funny that didn’t annoy me but surprised me that people thought my twist braid was my hair. Plz excuse my naively
2, 3, 6, & 8 get under my skin and I get them quite a lot.
Do You know what an S-Curl is?
Will My hair be like yours?
Are you trying to be like Erykah Badu?
When will I see it straight?
Did you use a texturizer?
What products do you use so my hair can be like yours?
YES — the “Are you trying to be Erykah Badu?” Also, just getting called Lauryn Hill, E. Badu, or Jill Scott never mind that fact that none of these women even look like each other let alone me or you.
What are you mixed with?
You’re not all black right?
How often do you wash it?
Why does it look different everyday?
How do you comb it?
When are you gonna get a perm?
Are you going for the “ethnic look”?
The only question I’ve never been asked is “What’s it supposed to be doing?” I’d probably slap someone for asking that…
I have a confession to make though: I was at AfroPunk this weekend and there were pa-LENTY of BAAs that I couldn’t tell were real or fake. If I weren’t properly home-trained I probably would have gone digging in some of those heads and/or asked “Is that all your hair?” lol 😉
The most annoying question by far is “can I touch it” I used to think this was ONLY something white people did but no! Relaxed african americans are just as bad. I can’t tell you how many people actually touch my hair then ask for permission after they pet me like a animal before I even have time to say no. Lol oh well! What can I do ^_^ ?
in only a 6 month period of being completely natural, i have heard all ten questions. on a weekly basis People-strangers have put their hands in my hair
. Little girls and their moms have a look of awe and sometimes dread no matter how thin and lifeless their own hair is. The last 6 months have been simply amazing. This natural hair is wonderful. I am blowin it up
“Do you know what a relaxer is?”
>_> I do, which is why I don’t use one.
Believe it or not… I get asked this a lot; Can I smell your hair? *shockface* What do you mean you only use shampoo once a month?! Hahaha.
hahahahahaha
So is this like a fad? You do realise natural hair isn’t ‘chic’, right? When are you gonna get tired of ‘all this’ and get a relaxer again? But black hair isn’t meant to grow long right? You mean men actually like your hair?!
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Some people are actually brave enough to just throw their hands in my hair and I’m fast enough to dodge it. Do NOT touch my hair please! 🙂
Also I recently cut off the rest of my permed ends so for the past 2 or 3 weeks I’ve been getting “Why would you cut your hair off? It was so long! I can’t believe you did that! Don’t do it again!”
Exactly some people don’t understand why perm ends are cut off. I think that this is the most annoying question for me because no matter how I try to educate people about why, they just continue to be rude and ask this question.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OL7XZ-bfVo
This video about sums it up!
Does it hurt when you comb it?
And
Is that a weave/wig?
How about, “do you have a curl?” Or “what are you mixed with?” To the latter I reply, “crown and Coke!”
I’m Peanut Butter and Chocolate, myself.
Lol!
What’s your hair type?
I swear this is the first question naturals ask me when they see my hair. Why?
Did you have to train your hair to do that? Referring to a twist out.
How do you get it to be curly?
When are you going to flat-iron it?