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How Insecurity Almost Prevented Me From Supporting My Wife’s Natural Hair Transition

• Jul 23, 2013

*UPDATE* Corey’s wife, Chutney, has responded to this piece. Be sure to check it out here.

By Dr Corey Guyton of The Genuine Scholar

When I met my wife, she was everything I wanted in a woman. She was educated, Black, took great care of herself, and had long flowy hair.

beforenatural-300x225

When I first met her

As a youngster, I was always encouraged by older men, my peers, and even some women to find a woman who had “good hair”. Equipped with this advice, my wife’s hair was the icing on the cake to complement her other wonderful qualities.

After dating for a while, my world got turned upside down as my wife uttered these dreadful words…”I am thinking about going natural”. At this point I thought, what is a man to do when his wife is thinking about getting rid of the icing on the cake? Now, I had seen tons of women who were natural and I admired their look (one of those women being my mother), but for some reason I did not feel natural was for my woman.

As the days went by, I progressively started researching as much as I could about the entire natural process to figure out what in the heck my wife was about to do to herself. As I learned more and more about the process, my mind started playing tricks on me. The questions in my mind began to transform from being about why my wife would want to be natural to why did I want to keep her from being natural. This is the point I started evaluating myself instead of my wife.

So the million dollar question is why did I want to keep my wife from embracing her natural hair?

Insecurity
The truth is that I was insecure. I was insecure in the fact that my wife had to cut her hair. I was insecure in the fact that she would have a TWA (Tiny Weeny Afro).  And I was insecure in the fact that she could possibly look different. The underlying issue was that I was not comfortable in my own manhood, because subconsciously, I felt I would be less of a man if my wife did not have long flowy hair. It was not about her, it was about me and my insecurities.

Blinded
I was blinded by so many things including Eurocentric values, the media, and my own people.

  • Growing up in a country where the standards are based on Eurocentric values, I fell into the trap of thinking that my definition of beauty was supposed to be the same as their definition of beauty. This false sense of understanding lead to me having the spirit of oppression towards my beautiful Black sistas, including my wife. Sadly, I tried to place those Eurocentric values on my Afrocentric queens.
  • I was also blinded by the numerous images of “beauty” that were portrayed in the media. Anytime I would see a Black woman who was in movies, music videos, pageants, or on any day time television, she had long flowy hair. This played into my psyche and caused me to think that these women were the definition of beauty.
  • Finally, I was blinded by my own people (including myself) who constantly displayed self-hate. The men constantly spoke about how women with short hair or non-straight hair were nappy headed and sistas put tons of weave in their head for the purposes of “increasing their beauty”. We created the thought that we were not beautiful the way God created us.


 The Reality

Cut-again

This is Her Today (4 Years Later), Looking Spectacular

I am blessed to have a wife who challenged me by not giving in to my insecurities. Her journey of rediscovering herself was a pivotal point in my life because I also discovered myself through the process. I broke free of oppression and am now one of the biggest advocates for my beautiful sistas returning to their natural roots. Since the blinders are off, I would not want my wife to be any way other than natural.

Moral of the article is brothers support our beautiful natural queens and sistas embrace your natural beauty!

For more of Corey’s writings, check out his website The Genuine Scholar. Also check out his free e-book Supporting Your Queen on Her Journey of Returning to Being Natural.

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199 Comments on "How Insecurity Almost Prevented Me From Supporting My Wife’s Natural Hair Transition"

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Nappy 4C Rocks
Guest

let the comments begin!

Rachel
Guest

Great article. Good for Mr Guyton. Our ability to love and accept always starts with ourselves, not our spouse. Lovely couple, I must say Mrs. Guyton looks so much more youthful and vibrant with her natural hair, sue practically glowing!

Erica
Guest

I agree, she does look wonderful with short natural hair!

Lampito
Guest

Wow!
Your wife looks gorgeous!

It takes many a lifetime to emancipate themselves from mental slavery.
Many people actually never achieve that mental liberation, so congratulations to you for decolonizing your mind and then, as a consequence, for embracing your wife for who she is naturally.

Live long, well, and mindfully.

Tamara
Guest

This was a great article all men should read this!!!!

PMS
Guest

I wouldn’t have even told my husband it’s just hair (sarcasm)

I think the hubby is superficial and I respect his transparency in the matter and the willingness to work on himself and not his wife.

jj
Guest

Thank you for this article it’s beautiful to see that black men still love black women you rarely see that nowadays..I am a young black female that has natural hair…and i feel that our black men don’t like it as much as other races do.…the white and Spanish people at my job love my hair…but this black guy is always saying i should straighten my hair…it’s sad and cray to me…

Bonita
Guest

Why would you put down all black men just because ONE black guy at your job doesn’t like your hair smh. There was no point of even mentioning that the white/ Spanish people at work like it. Just because a white person compliments there’s no reason to put down black people.

LovingMe2
Guest

Thank you for this article! As I’ve shared my transition, with people in my life, over the past 14 months & as I big chop very soon, I’ve gotten so many people telling me ” I won’t get man with natural hair” and “you need to slap a relaxer back in your head.” It’s beautiful to see a man support his queen in a decision to accept her hair & herself one hundred percent.

Pat
Guest

Truly sad but this is the usual mindset of many black men, they don’t appreciate the beauty that God gave us. I’m so over what black men have been conditioned to believe about beauty and the long flowy hair mess! I’m glad that he was able to see his insecurities.

merry
Guest

i know. i was thinking this is very sad.

it’s nice that he stepped back and pointed the finger at himself. unfortunately, many many black men AND women never will.

at the end of the day, it’s easier to swim with the tide.

Chachamusicgirl
Guest
I never understood why a black man would date or marry a black woman but hate their natural hair if it was nappy or kinky or expect them to straighten it. If that is how you feel you are better off marrying a white, Indian, Hispanic, Asian or Biracial woman who fits those standards. I really don’t think it is fair to expect someone to conform to standards of beauty meant for other races with very different phenotypes. That’s like going to McDonald’s and expecting to be served a filet mignon with caviar on the side. Not going to happen.… Read more »
Mai
Guest
For the record no race inherently looks white, heck even most white people cannot fit western standards of beauty. Facial structures differ across the board and full noises and lips are not just an African features. Travel the world instead of just using Google images — Russians also tend to have fuller lips, and native Americans can have fuller noises. Larger body frames are a standard in Samoa and Indians can be just as dark if not darker than many black (Africa descent) people. And everyone needs to get of the “Eastern Africans all look different” kool-aid because you can… Read more »
Jayne Mose
Guest
You got it all wrong. Black people in America, Black people in Spain, Black people in China, Black people in Fuji, Black people in Brazil, Black people in Mexico, BLACK PEOPLE EVERY WHERE have the same genetic make up. All traced back to Africa! Wanna know why? BECAUSE AFRICA IS THE BIRTHPLACE OF CIVILIZATION! And 98% of PEOPLE have the same genetic make up (fact!) and it ain’t because we evolved from no damn chimpanzee either! Olmecs, Persians, Hebrews, every culture around the world’s artifacts show clear examples that blacks were the rulers. And WHITES are really nothing but genetic… Read more »
Mellon
Guest

…I think the point she was making is that everyone looks different and there is no standard of appearance within a race…

I’m not sure why you ranted about chimpanzees or inbred white people (considering complexion is a genetic adaption to climate). And no, not every black person has an ancestor that was a slave but many African Americans have to trace their history through slavery.

Bumper
Guest
Whilst you make a valid point about not expecting one race to exhibit ‘characteristics’ of another, if you are black I take issue regarding your preference of ‘light skin’ men as you too are exhibiting the ‘mind set’ the writer displayed in the beginning. I am married to a white man but not because I prefer ‘white or light skinned’ men — he was just who I happened to fall in love with. Up to that point I had dated black men whatever their skin tone. It should be the content of his character not the colour of his skin!
Jessica
Guest

I feel like… If this had been a man who came on here and said that he only likes light skinned women with long flowy hair, a LOT of people would have been up in arms…so it’s only offensive if its a man that has this view? I agree Bumper… I could (kinda) see her logic, but I found it to be problematic as well… But hey let’s just chalk everything up to “preferences” without really thinking about the root of them. I’m also biased.. I am a HUGE sucker for Black on Black love

eve-audrey
Guest

@jessica many men do already claim their love for only light skin and non black women you see that in mainstream media and your hear that from the mouths of many black men. whilst black women always felt like they had to be loyal and take to be treated like crap. things are simply changing now and you should respect the others preferences.

Jessica
Guest
Hi Eve- yes, I understand that there are Black men that voice their preferences for light skinned women with long flowy hair and choose to date other races based on that… And I think they are pretty whack as well! Lol And waiting or “remaining loyal” to Black men does NOT mean tolerating disrespect… I think that is over generalizing. It means being the mate that YOU would want to be with and making good decisions about who you are going to be with. Of course people are going to date who they want to date and they are going… Read more »
Deb
Guest

But hey let’s just chalk everything up to “preferences” without really thinking about the root of them. I’m also biased..”

I give a hearty yawn when people repeatedly do this. We Humans love shortcuts when thinking.

Rachel
Guest

I agree with Peary, why should you take issue with what Chachamusicgirl’s preferences are? There’s no reason why just because she’s black (if she is), she should prefer Black men. People are allowed to have preferences, and it certainly isn’t the same mindset as the writer in the beginning. He expected his wife to keep her hair in a state that is not a natural one, whereas she loves Hipanic/middle eastern men for looking the way they look naturally. What’s wrong with that and why should you take personal offence??

Peary
Guest

I don’t think it’s any of your business what she chooses to prefer. She could ONLY like white men and it sill wouldn’t have anything to do with you–I don’t get why some women care so much what other women prefer, focus on Black men who practice colourism en masse. Who cares if you don’t prefer white men? Some Black do and you don’t have he right to tell them not to. Get off your high horse.

maxine
Guest
I think many men think like this,because natural hair is not flowy nor can you see the length till it’s straightened Sadly the European standard shall remain for many and there will be women who want to fit in that standard and so these type people won’t see natural,or short hair as sexy ie.long floaty hair that moves in the breeze is attractive to eurocentric thinking men so they automatically cut sister’s with natural hair out of their dating selection and sadly see them as wearing an old fashioned,out of touch hair style..but the more women who don’t conform to… Read more »
eve-audrey
Guest

bravo mister! the world is changing with you and it would be nice if other men would read this. your wife is lucky

Guest1234
Guest

That’s nice. She looks far more beautiful with her natural hair than with the straight hair. The straight hair really hides her beauty. Her features pop and are gorgeous with the short ‘do. Lovely.

Lisa
Guest

What a beautiful couple, both inside and out! Corey, you are very brave to write this piece. You really opened up and dove deep! Thank you!

Sana
Guest
My man freaked out when I cut my hair. It was a shock and had no comment. When we met I was rocking a Hale Berry cut. Decided to go natural because I was going back to school for my masters and I am a single mom. I didn’t think I would have time for my hair. I don’t get influenced easily and tend to do what makes me comfortable. He could have left if it bothered him but we are still together. He is Cape Verdean. It’s been almost a year now. I still get attention from men of… Read more »
CarRy
Guest
It’s sad to hear that any man would have this kind of mentality, honestly. I certainly wouldn’t marry a “man” who thought negatively about my natural hair, about HIS OWN natural hair. I know the story turned out well (I guess). However, I wouldn’t entertain any “man” telling me how I should look or dress. I find other races absolutely love natural hair, short or long. Black “men” only like long hair (permed, weaved, natural). I think it’s a sign of someone who is insecure in their manhood. Since when does short hair make anyone less a woman? Apparently it… Read more »
reflecting
Guest
Well good for you but that’s not what this article is about. It’s not about all the triflin black men who told you your hair was less than. It’s about one black man who was brave enough to turn against the cultural tide, be self-reflective and admit his own prejudice. Good for you and your non-black boyfriend, but that isn’t really relevant here. I don’t mean to sound harsh, but I don’t want this thread to turn into a “rag on all black men” thread. The FACT is that most black women are currently married to black men, so this… Read more »
CarRy
Guest

I wrote three paragraphs and only one of them (the last one at that) was about my experience with dating and natural hair. I know my comment may have struck a nerve with you, but to say it’s irrelevant is simply untrue. I’m addressing everything that was talked about in the article (first two paragraphs) then I add my personal experience.

reflecting
Guest
CarRy, I am saddened that you think my response is about anger or personal issues. If that is what you read in my words, then you misread. I would encourage you to read the response of the author’s wife in this blog post. She highlights what I am trying to communicate here. http://thegenuinescholar.com/wifes-response-the-reasons-i-did-not-want-my-wife-to-be-natural/ It seems to be the “cool” or “hip” thing to jump online and say that all black men should go to hell because they don’t support natural hair. What I’m trying to express to you is the REALITY is more complicated than that. As black women, we… Read more »
Lily Madu
Guest
Reflecting, I’ve been following your exchange with CarRy and feel that you do not at all come across as condescending or hating. As soon as I saw this article by Dr. Guyton I kinda knew the comments would degenerate into discussions about why many naturals choose to date outside of their race. But I think that no matter how much one urges to stay on topic (a BLACK couple dealing with a transition to natural hair), people will discuss interracial dating. I just take it in stride and try to steer clear…:) Else you’ll quickly be accused of ‘hating’, or… Read more »
Are you serious?
Guest
Reflecting, I find you to be very angry and condescending in your responses. Why should any woman deal with a man’s deep psychological issues over the natural appearance of his own ethnicity? Ain’t nobody got time to “take on the struggles” of black men. But just because you want to sacrifice that kind of time, doesn’t mean others can’t just love whoever loves them back. You’re talking about relevance to the topic, yet nearly all of your responses are shaming this person for dating a guy who isn’t black. Get over yourself. You picked on one aspect of the argument… Read more »
reflecting
Guest
If you think I’m mad because you’re in an interracial relationship, you miss the whole point of my response. The *REALITY* is that most black women today are married to black men. THEREFORE, reflections like this are relevant to a lot of us. What sense does it make to talk about how you’ve escaped all this because you’re in an interracial relationship.… to someone who is married to a black man? It is not relevant here. I’m not “denying a reality”… Did I not go into depth about how I take on the struggles of black men because I’m married… Read more »
CarRy
Guest

peace**

CarRy
Guest

Lastly, I’m going to encourage you to find piece with your decision to marry a black guy with personal issues or “self-hate”, as you describe. The anger within your posts over a black woman who is happily in a relationship with an amazing, handsome, well educated Peruvian-German is absolutely sad. You are a grown adult; be at piece with your life already.

CarRy
Guest

I think you have personal issues with your own relationship and with interracial relationships that really go beyond anything that I’ve said. Therefore, I don’t see a point in arguing with you anymore.

reflecting
Guest
And obviously this article — this man’s heartfelt reflection that took a lot of GUTS to admit publicly — struck a nerve with YOU, if you felt the need to start talking about how black dudes hate your hair and you found love with your non-black boo. As a black woman, married to a black man, who reads and comments regularly in the black blogosphere, I’ve noticed a troubling trend of people in interracial relationships jumping in on threads that have to do with black relationships to talk about how they are NOT in a black relationship.… Why? My husband… Read more »
CarRy
Guest
Okay.… So it did strike a nerve with you. I didn’t talk about how BlACK guys hate MY hair. I talked about how I wouldn’t entertain ANY guy who disrespects my natural, African-American looks. It’s that simple. If you want to deny the reality that many black men (and women) do not appreciate the natural appearance of black people then you absolutely can. I don’t care. But that doesn’t change the fact that many black men demand Euro-centric looks from black women. That is not my personal story because I do not even attract those narrow-minded guys. However, that is… Read more »
Camillia
Guest

I applaud this brother for his honesty! When I was transitioning, I never did the big chop, I just grew my relaxer out slowly but shortly, but my husband probably would have had the same thoughts as this gentleman if I had decided to do the big chop. I applaud any women who has taken the step to chop it all off, because at the time that I decided to go natural, I didn’t have the courage to do so either.

Erica
Guest
So many people are afraid to be honest with themselves, and we are also afraid of the unknown. He didn’t know what she was going to look like with natural hair, so it is understandable for him to have reservations about it especially when your use to seeing something the same way for years. I think we need to ease up on the brothers about them needing to accept our natural hair “This is me, this is who I am, he needs to accept me or step”. We need to understand that they have seen and dated women for YEARS… Read more »
Jo Somebody
Guest

My ovaries don’t have time though! Lol!

I’m only half joking…

Alwina
Guest

Thank you for sharing your story. God bless you and your wife!

Leanne
Guest

This story is soo cute because I keep hearing just the opposite! My man hates long hair and weaves and wants my nappy head all day long. Even my friends’ husbands admire my fro and commend me for it. He is man enough to admit he felt insecure and I applaud him for accepting her choice.

Corrie
Guest

Love this article! I appreciate black men who are mature enough to appreciate & support natural hair!!

Vonnie
Guest

Very wonderful and insightful article.

TO THE COMMENTERS: Some of the comments you’ve said family and friends have made about you going and being natural, did you say anything in response? Cause LAWD knows my mouth is to smart to take some of

Vonnie
Guest

Dammit, cut me off…

Anyways my mouth is to smart to take those comments during down. I don’t care off its Momma, someone would be getting checked (respectfully of course). I had some folks try to talk smack when I went natural at work & I shut it down so fast, word must’ve spread cause it NEVER happened again…

Tee tee
Guest

I feel like hugging you! Hehehehe i can imagine
What idiots!

Kesha
Guest

Love this! I am so blessed that my husband had none of these hang-ups. I know had he it would have effected my acceptance of myself as a natural. The thing that irritates me most is that celebrities who ‘define’ beauty standards wear weave and unenhanced would not meet their own standards of beauty. It is really frustrating to struggle against a false reality.

By the way, your wife is BEAUTIFUL! Congratulations to you both on a healthy marriage.

Ava
Guest

It’s funny how he said she had long flowing hair and then he should that picture, which isn’t really that long. It’s interesting what so many people in our community considered long because it’s a rarity to see real long hair past our armpits that is not weave or hair pieces. So to him, that was long.

But I am glad he is supporting her hair now.

Queen
Guest
Well Ava, unfortunately, many of our people (Black people) usually in poorer communities, don’t take care of their hair and the average length is about 3 inches or so. So whenever they see someone with shoulder length hair, it’s considered and accomplishment and if it was lucky enough to grow past the shoulders, it’s considered “long”. I grew up in the hood and this is average Black conversation regarding hair. But I’m with you, it’s not “long” per se, but in the hood, it’s considered long. Funny thing… I have locks that are about 3 1/2 feet long. When I’m… Read more »
zimzam
Guest

Shoulder length hair is long. I mean, it’s not short is it. Is it?

lablooplah
Guest

Not that this is the focus of the article but I think that that hair is long flowy hair for any race.

Miss
Guest
This is a great article to read. I am of mixed background and always had long hair and had been convinced all my life that to have straight hair was the image of beauty I should aspire to, so straightened it from a very early age. When it began to get damaged and thin, I shaved it and cut it off and then wore weaves. It took my south american boyfriend to bring up questions of looking into myself and asking why I felt I needed to wear hair that was straight, or use straighteners on mine and to tell… Read more »
shayshay
Guest
I appreciate Dr. Guyton’s courage in exposing his early thoughts; and further that he was willing to learn, question his thinking and examine his biases because he loves and values his wife. When some of us say, “It’s NOT just hair,” maybe his words will help others realize why. Some people would like to deny the negative experiences that many of us have, and how the largest negativity often comes from our family and ethnic or cultural community at large. When some black women are concerned that they will be perceived negatively by many — if not most — black… Read more »
PMS
Guest

Best comment in this whole section!

Tee tee
Guest

Agreed!

Fat Bald Husband has a nerve
Guest
Fat Bald Husband has a nerve

Amazing how he can be fat, bald and basically average to the utmost degree and still decide that HE deserves “BEAUTY”.

Once again more proof that Black man need to stop being brainwashed by the fakest of EUROCENTRIC images force fed thru movies, tvs and radio.

The fact that the thinnest, deadest looking flat straight hair that barely touches someones shoulder is considered “long” & “flowy”.. Is oh so sad..SMH

Just like those chicks with ear or neck length hair, saying I don’t want to cut all my hair off- if an inch is trimmed. SMH

Corey Guyton
Guest
Such a great example of hypocrisy at its best. I had a perception of what beauty was in my past life that you did not agree with and you attack me but clearly you have your perception of beauty based on the ways you just listed off what makes me unattractive. Clearly this is a hypocritical response because you used my size and hair (bald)as a way to define beauty. So I assume the non bald brothers are better than the brothers with bald heads (the irony). You attack a brother like me for admitting that I had these type… Read more »
Kim
Guest

Thank you!!! I was thinking the EXACT same thing. He ought to work on himself too if he demands such high physical standards of women.

Unequally Yoked
Guest

I think your points would have been received better, had they been phrased differently.

I get the point you are making that you don’t consider him a prize and yet he has demands on his wife to live up to the prize title?

TINA SMITH
Guest

LMAO SO TRUE

lulu
Guest

you’re from LSA huh?

Peary
Guest

Honestly, this is why I don’t even entertain Black men. What we’re supposed to applaud his for no-longer finding his wife’s hair disgusting? Why are we the only race of women that accepts this type of treatment?

Kim
Guest

Yes. Black men think they deserve an applause for doing things that every other color of men on Earth do. Black man takes care of his child, he deserves an applause? Black man dates black woman, he deserves an applause? SMH!!!!

Jo Somebody
Guest

But aren’t we all here ‘applauding’ Black women for having healthy, natural long hair?
If you understand the reasons why our sisters need the ‘applause’, support and appreciation, then you should understand the reasons why our brothers deserve the same reaction when they love our natural hair.

Tabatha
Guest

I don’t accept that treatment. My mother doesn’t accept that treatment. I think it comes down to people’s self- esteem not the race. I commend him because he is being honest about his feelings about how he viewed hair and so forth. I like when people are honest. We may not always like the honesty, but at least I know.

Abb
Guest
I love this article!My fiance has only seen me with natural hair and loves it.His mother has been natural all her life and has had locs for 13yrs,so he appreciates natural hair. I would like to respond to some of the ladies in the comment section.I hear natural women always saying “black men don’t like my hair/skin tone,men of other races LOVE my hair!”. Ladies you have to understand that those standards of beauty are put into black people’s minds by OTHER races.Now I’m not excusing the black men that live by those standards,I’m not.But you have to understand where… Read more »
Tabatha
Guest
My father is a man that likes long hair. With that being said, he doesn’t care about the texture, he just likes LONG and grown from your own head if possible. He doesn’t really like weaves, but he can deal with extensions. I don’t think black men don’t like all that you said above, but I heard from a black men, its our attitude the most. I was not offended cause I don’t really have that attitude unless I need to have it. I was not raised in that atmosphere, so its not me. I do see what he was… Read more »
Christina
Guest

I think you meant, “cafe au lait”. Please don’t use a term if you don’t know the correct spelling. You could have just said you had a lighter complexion.

Guest1234
Guest

I thought she was talking about a bullfight or something. Olé! LMAO!!

TINA SMITH
Guest

LMAO!!!!!!!

tina
Guest

He doesn’t get a pat on the back for admitting he had/has issues with his wife’s hair. He is seeking comfort because he never stopped having issues with her hair. This man is superficial & a narcissist. Get over yourself.

Tabatha
Guest
My hubby doesn’t care what my hair is in. He likes it when its freshly washed and froed out, if its braided, when I relaxed it, what-ever. He even expressed that he would make love to my head if I decided to shave it balled. Lol, he loves me for me and doesn’t let what’s on my head define me. I’m glad that he was honest about his thoughts about natural hair and his experience with his wife and her hair journey. He has educated himself and is telling the tale and he is getting backlash for telling the truth… Read more »
Karisa C.
Guest
This was a great, and honest article. Reading this, I know that I am truly blessed. When I first met my husband (17 years ago) I had in a crochet weave. When it was time to take it out, I was nervous because I didn’t know how he was going to react to my real hair (which was relaxed and short because of damage.) When I took it out, he asked me why I waited so long to get rid of it. I was smitten. 2 years ago I decided to go natural, the big chop wasn’t necessary because my… Read more »
Sana
Guest
Wow. I have met black womena that wanted to go natural. But haven’t because their men have expressed to me and them that they don’t like it. That was a year ago. Since I’ve been natural my sister has gone naural and two other friends. The ones in relationships/married still wear waeve, wigs and relaxers. Nothing wrong with that but their men influence their decisions. Sometimes you gotta do what works for you and your relationship. Whatever that is…What I do with my hair is my business especially when I don’t want to put harmful chemicals on my scalp anymore.… Read more »
Whynot
Guest

Just so very sad that you had those thoughts in the first place. It’s. Hair!!!!!!! And the idea that she told you she wanted to transit–I would have never told you. You would have just came home with it all gone. My people are lost.

Deb
Guest

yes and they can find their way to self love. IT JUST TAKES TIME. Let us not give up individually (that’s how it starts, with individuals practicing radical self love)

Whynot
Guest

I get it Deb. Still at the end of the day-IT’S JUST HAIR!!!!! Can’t even imagine worrying about my partner’s hair? HAIR????? GTFOH

Jo Somebody
Guest

If I came home and my husband had relaxed his afro, I’d be more than worried! Just hair my arse! That is not something I would accept.

Tee tee
Guest
ghahahahah this thread is funny — it’s just hair and it isn’t just hair. When it comes to black women, many people black and white alike expect her to make some kind of a political statement. Natural hair is still seen as ‘militant and radical’. Primarily because it is NOT seen as the so called bullshit white (european/asian) straight standard. PAUSE Some fuckery, i’m just tryna live how i see fit. Screw your politics and whatnot. But…it lingers. So, i say wear it out and wear it proud — however you see fit. Your spirit will soar if you feel… Read more »
JB
Guest

If I came home one day and my man had started locing his hair, I’d have a huge problem. Yeah it’s ‘just a hairstyle’, but it’s one I don’t care for and one I didn’t sign up for and at the very least a conversation is in order.

Breanna
Guest

Some of the comments here are ridiculous! Why must people ridicule a person’s honest expression of self. He “checked” himself so your negative comments are unwarranted and just plain crass. People evolve. I’m sure the very ones making negative comments have areas in which they could improve, as does everyone. We are a product of environmental influences and evolution as a result of life experiences. Get off your “nasty high horse”, forgive yourself, forgive others, and evolve.

That Man is Ugmo & Weak
Guest
That Man is Ugmo & Weak
Why do you feel the comments of others are ridiculous and have no outrage for a “brother” admitting that he wanted his wife to be a weak imitation because he was weak minded. Why can’t people take a look at this man- WHO SOCIETY would most definitely rate as “unattractive” all around based on European AND even African American Standards as “unattractive”. This man who is overweight, below average looking in the face and has not one single quality that rates on the attractive scale such as good hair, nice body, manly jaw or swag..had the AUDACITY to thing he… Read more »
Andie
Guest

This ridiculous reply was totally uncalled for. You can’t possibly be a grown mature adult with that type of thinking.

Breanna
Guest

I am not outraged with any of the comments nor his expression of his truth. Why would I be outraged with Dr. Guyton? He is simply being honest about his previous internal struggle; he educated himself and experienced change. That is great. We can learn from that. Why must we ridicule?

Corey Guyton
Guest

The beautiful thing about your comment is that I am happy and my wife is happy regardless of how unattractive you may find me. I am at peace with who I am as a person and my wife love me fat and all. She may not have a great looking husband (in your eyes), but she has a husband who is completely faithful and treats her like a queen :-). God bless you.

fluffy-in-flight
Guest

Despite what some individuals have said you are a true gentleman. I’ve seen people that were extremely attractive in the face and from the time they opened up their mouths, you know the story.… I don’t have to go there. Wish you and your wife the best. I really enjoyed reading the article.

Khanyi
Guest
Of all comments I’m outraged by the comment above of a person who is openly showing their low self esteem by calling someone who is wonderfully and fearfully made with such ugly words that can only come out of the mouth of a DEMON(now who is ugly)I’m an African from the Motherland and sometimes I wonder why the majority of our brothers and sisters speak like this…respect for others is how we are raised and such insanity. Sir I think you are very handsome and so is your wife blessed to have you. Forget the haters they will always be… Read more »
Buchi
Guest

You know, you could just stop replying them. It’s not worth it. A few of us actually appreciate the honesty in your article.

stephanieb
Guest

So true Breanna, the nasty comments really aren’t warranted. And by the way, I really love the spelling of your name 🙂

Breanna
Guest

Thanks!

Liz
Guest

Well I like this article, and am happy this man was humble enough to show his flaws to everyone and make a change. We all pre-judge at some point in our lives. The more we empower ourselves to see our natural beauty, the more we allow others to do the same. 🙂

Candice
Guest

It’s gonna take time for a lot of us to catch on. In the meantime why even play around ? Other races love us in our natural state, why not date and marry someone who loves you for you? It may not be a black man.

Cass
Guest

This was about more than hair. It was about learning who he and black women are in society. Like he said, the hair was just the icing on the cake

Keisha
Guest

I think she is so much more beautiful now that you can see her face. I’m glad he came around in accepting her hair. We have to be mindful of our thoughts and ideals that can have a negative impact on our sons, daughters and the black community as a whole. Well said, brotha!

Nicola
Guest

Wonderful article, I got goose pimples reading. I thank you sir and I hope that more of our men will view it through eyes like yours. God Bless

Iman
Guest

How awesome is this. Such a wonderful story of self-reflection. This is so important!

Carrot Hunter
Guest

They seem like a nice couple. Maybe on the weekends within the secret smells of night, she or he could wear a 20inch prayed over Remy special. Talk about being cake on the icing.

Queen
Guest
It’s really funny hearing Black females CLAIM that “men of other races LOVE and APPRECIATE our hair and dark skin color”. While that MAY be true for a few, if a wh. dude walks up to you and start putting his fingers in your hair and stroking your skin… did it EVER cross your mind that perhaps he may JUST wanna have sex with you??? Black people are considered “different” and “exotic” and to conquer one, will merely complete some wh. dudes fantasy. The same way they see a “new” or exotic animal and instead of admiring it’s uniqueness, they… Read more »
britt
Guest
Excuse me miss?, but isn’t this article about a black mans story of initial resistance and eventual acceptance of his wife’s hair in it’s natural state? Although I applaud the conviction in your statement, pertaining to the topic would be much appreciated. As far as the article is concerned, I love the fact that this man had the bravery to admit his insecurities when it came to his wife’s decision to go natural. I’ve never been with a man who has had a problem with my hair and I’ve been natural for 3 years. I’ve even had men ask if… Read more »
michelle
Guest

You have to question the motives of ALL men who want to ‘court’ you. There are PLENTY of black males out there who only want one thing as I am sure there are plenty of men of other races, looks, and ethnicities that only want one thing. When you date ANY person, you have to judge for yourself if this is a person who wants to get to know you or if this person is interested in one thing only & it is usually pretty easy to tell.

JustLeavingaComment
Guest

Lots of truth in your statements. People hate the truth. The blinders fall off a piece at a time. Self-worth shouldn’t come from giving yourself away. White men just want a piece and do not give 2 cents about a black woman’s soul, journey, or anything else sincere or related to the ‘black’ experience. Many females will learn the hard way. Deep down many still yearn for their acceptance so their nose is wide open.

Ant
Guest
Pigeon holing others is what leads to racism and bigotry. Just as all black men should not be labeled self hating, violent thugs, white men should not be labeled fiends who view black women as exotic fetish objects to fulfill their deviant sex fantasies. We are all human beings and should be judged on our individual merits. The fact of the matter is that in America the racial divide is a deep, festering wound which continues unhealed because of certain people who find it EASIER to place blame on others than to take responsibility for themselves and their own prejudices.
merry
Guest

i don’t think a black man cares anymore about my black woman’s soul than a white man.

eve-audrey
Guest

so you prefer a black man who puts you down because of the coolor of your skin and your hair texture? you’re right only white/non-black men can harm black women because their own men all give a damn about their souls

Jasmine
Guest
So apparently its “slummin” to associate with a man of a different race who a)wants to have sex with you b) likes your for your exotic look or both? It is not a myth that men of other races can like your hair and look just like black men can. Its because they are “men” and all men like attractive women. Most have preferences just like we have preferences about what guys we like. You have issues and despite what you think there are more than just a “few white dude” that appreciate black hair and skin just like there… Read more »
Phoxxie
Guest

Actually I agree with you. I have heard LOTS of white men say things like this. They just want to have sex with a black girl to say they did it.

?
Guest

Female what, dear?

If you can’t address black WOMEN properly then kindly STFU.

Rachel
Guest

Oh my God, some men want to have sex with women, that is so shocking and unheard of!! You’re an idiot.

Amma Mama
Guest

LOL

ALex
Guest

Sadly, I tried to place those Eurocentric values on my Afrocentric queens.”
I think this quote speaks volumes to what so many of us need to understand. Natural, “Afrocentric queens” are what we were created to be. If this was understood, in my opinion, perspectives would totally change.

Queen
Guest

So true indeed… sooo true.

TINA SMITH
Guest

FINALLY A REAL ARTICLE AND NOT THE CRAP YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN POSTING LATELY. KUDOS TO THIS BROTHER AND HOPE MORE WILL COME TO THE SAME UNDERSTANDING

JB
Guest

It saddens me that this man couldn’t just be at peace with the fact that he had a preference for ‘long, flowy hair’. He had to turn it into an insecurity in his part. If he’s happy and his wife are happy then I’m happy for them, but there would be absolutely nothing wrong with this man if he didn’t prefer his wife have a ‘teeny weeny afro’

Dionne
Guest
He wasn’t bullied into liking his wife’s hair. He evaluated his thoughts and realized he had them due to an unrealistic European expectation of his wife’s hair. Black women are NOT white. He examined his reason for preference of long flowy hair and realized in his situation it was the insecurity of not having the “chick with the long hair”. It wasn’t that there is something wrong with long flowy hair, but it is a sense of denial to not realize that black women’s hair is not naturally sleek and flowy. It would be the equivalent of him not liking… Read more »
TR
Guest

Sure, it is fair to say she was beautiful before…but he was exploring why he was scared for her to change her hair back to its natural state. Besides, preferences don’t come from out of the blue. There is no universal truth of beauty…what we prefer is learned. I think it’s great that he stopped and asked why he would prefer long, straight hair to his wife’s natural hair.

TINA SMITH
Guest

can’t come down hard on the brothers when the women are no better

merry
Guest

except in this case, the woman was better.

Lily Madu
Guest
I like this article and commend the author for exploring the root of his own attitude towards natural hair. My perception is that many in the Black community think that a woman does not look well-groomed if she wears her hair in its natural kinky state. So when a woman wants to go natural the knee-jerk thought process is often “why do you purposely want to look unkempt?”. This disgust for the way our hair grows out of our head sometimes truly baffles me. It’s not as if we decided to stop shaving our armpits and trek the world wearing… Read more »
BW
Guest
Really happy for both of you. Well, I’ve been natural since 2010 and I’m really pleased with my hair now but I struggled in the first 2 yrs following my ‘big chop’ because every time I was in a social gathering I found that my hair became the topic of discussion. It’s just hair — I couldn’t understand why I had to defend myself for not wearing a weave. The most popular question was “when are you going to fix your hair”, from black men and women. I still get that now but I respond more positively. Luckily my husband… Read more »
Jacky
Guest

Your hair is gorgeous

Bonita
Guest
Sadly to say a lot of the women that posted previously are no better than some of the black men that dislike ‘nappy’/natural hair. Why do some of you feel the need to say, “well black men didn’t appreciate xyz about me but my white/ non-black significant other does “. I noticed also how a lot of you are so proud to say that non- black men compliment you &your natural hair and so forth and in the same breath put down ALL black men because of the few who didn’t like your hair. There are plenty of black men… Read more »
BAA13
Guest
Bonita’s opinion, which was clearly polarizing needed to be expressed. Eurocentric beauty is the ideal for most men in this country– black, white, asian– whatever. Obviously whites have been instrumental in creating and perpetuating this dynamic (just as minorities have self-regulated in a way that similarly perpetuates it). In short, I think it’s unfair to hold black men to one standard with respect to acceptance of Afrocentric beauty and to hold white men to another. Yes, many black men prefer straighter hair, lighter skin, and more European features; but so do many white men and asian men and latino men.… Read more »
BAA13
Guest

I think everyone struggling with this issue should listen to this youtube post by the vlogger xoDVF:

Very profound and on point.

eve-audrey
Guest

there are many naturals in interracial relationships who aren’t “hurt to be rejected by their own men” and there are black women who are with black men and do not care about those who hold eurocentric ideals. why is that people can’t express themseves and a problem that does exist without being psychoanalyzed and without anyone jumping on their throats saying how much they might be insecure because “thay bad mouth black men and worship white men”? do you think that ill mentality is going to disappear like that?

Marie
Guest
I married an Cuban, and he loves me, and in turn m hair, just as much as my black father and brothers, uncles and cousins who have never negatively commented me or put down my hair…unlike the women in my family. Most of the earlier comments on the post were of the mothers disliking their daughters hair choice more than the accepting, proud black fathers. Geesh. My brother loves accents, which could be one from Africa, Asia, Russia, etc, and another one loves extremely curly hair, and the youngest loves women who love animals and the outdoors. The women on… Read more »
Bonita
Guest

You’re in denial.. Many of these women put down black men and seek approval from white men. That is indeed coon behavior and self hate.

eve-audrey
Guest
so pointing the attitude of some “brothers” is self-hate? did someone state that all white men liked natural hair and all black men hated it? if so those people are wrong indeed. i’m less surprised of a white man who hates natural than a black man who hates it i think you can understand why. one would expect black men to be much more supportive than other men but the thing is it’s not alwayss the case. how is pointing that self hate? will you deny that many pick on women according to their skin color and/or hair texture? sometimes… Read more »
eve-audrey
Guest

i’m showcasing coon behavior because i’m stating that black people are the ones who can reverse the power of the psychochological effects of slavery? you my friend have found the perfect argument bye now and thanks for that highly interesting discussion i don’t think we can understand each other.

Bonita
Guest

You’re making no sense, I already explain its the PSYCOLOGICAL effects of slavery. What’s with the nonsense of ‘there’s no white person standing behind with a gun’. It’s already in the heads of many black people that their blackness is ugly.

It’s a generational CYCLE

Your still disregarding how seriously slavery has messed up African Americans. It is definitely evident nowadays and also due to the effects of racism.

You’re showcasing coon behavior.

eve-audrey
Guest
please read my comment again i’m not disregarding history i know history really well but if you don’t think that nowadays your kids self-confidence as well as yours depend for a great part on you, then i propose we just stop that conversation here. i wouldn’t be comfortable in my own skin if my parents did not teach me to. and i know the world is tough. i repeat that everytime a black person thinks negatively about your physical appearance (and his/hers at the same time) there’s isn’t a white person standing behind with a gun. apparently we don’t agree… Read more »
Bonita
Guest
Regardless if we are in the 21st century or not, you can’t disregard the residual psychological effects of slavery on African Americans in the present day. If you’re constantly treated badly because of the color of your skin and everything that makes you Black, you would then begin to see yourself as being inferior to white people. In return, you would hate everything about yourself (skin color, broad nose, big lips, and the hot topic issue your natural hair).. This self hate is passed down from generation to generation, creating a cycle. You can’t place more blame on black men… Read more »
Bonita
Guest

Many are making the inference that ALL other races including white men LOVE natural hair. In this process they are demeaning & putting down ALL black men because of a very small minority who don’t prefer their natural hair. This is were the issue of self- hate arises.

It’s very ironic how the very same people (white society) who programmed black people to hate everything about themselves (the color of their skin, their wide noses, their big lips, and their ‘nappy’ hair) are given so much praise and credit for so called ‘liking’ your hair more than other black people.

Bonita
Guest

*self-hatred

utopia
Guest

Bonita you do have a point about programmed self hate in the black community. But self hate or inferiority complex is not only a black thing. There are plenty of other ethnic groups of men and women who have the same struggles with self love or self acceptance. There are Latin, Indian, Asian groups of people who bleach their skin or frown upon the darker skinned people in their race, just like their are some Latin people who classify themselves as white and deny their Hispanic/Latin heritage. So again self hate is not only a black thing. Just saying

eve-audrey
Guest
i agree that white people are the ones who made black people believe the way they were made was wrong. but we’re in the 21st century now and there are still many black people (including many black men not a small minority) who judge negatively all the features that are too black. all alone. there isn’t a white person behind every black person who dislikes natural hair. when a black man thinks he can only be with a woman who looks a certain way it’s not white people fault you should really encourage people to take their responsibilities instead of… Read more »
Ashley
Guest

I really liked reading this article, especially coming from a Black man perspective. I wish him and his wife lots of blessings.

Jacky
Guest

Thanks for speaking out about this and your wife is gorgeous,her natural hair is the real icing on the cake.

Pat
Guest

Growing up I was told by an elder that a person’s preferences are usually their prejudices. That is true many times, judging someone because of their hair and skin is so very sad, how about getting to know someone and form a conclusion on that individual.That’s too mature!!

SB
Guest

My boyfriend was very supportive of me going natural. Granted, we’re not on the level of marriage, I had relaxed hair, which grew to be pretty long during the two and a half years we’d dated before I cut it off. He’s never shown anything less than appreciation and respect for me from my TWA to my shoulder length curls today. Much respect to this man for using his wife’s experience as a lesson and sharing that lesson with us!

Danny Tha Man
Guest
One if the dumbest things American Black women (notice I didn’t say African American just like I don’t refer to whites European Americans) is to wear fake hair. But then again, i can imagine how years of conditioning can do to someone. It made west Africans call French their mother tongue. It’s dis appointing people in position like Oprah and Tyra banks can’t lead the positive role. Bunch of self serving tools they are. There is no such a thing as a bad hair, every hair has its challenges and opportunities. You just gotta learn how to bring the best… Read more »
zimzam
Guest

Men and women, black, white, regardless of race or gender have been wearing wigs and hair pieces for centuries. Why have a problem with black women wearing “fake” hair (other than when covering their own hair permanently at all times)?

Ant
Guest

I know, right? I mean, who here has ever seen a depiction of Louis XIV WITHOUT his wig? LOL

deaconyao
Guest

This sister has a right to wear her hair however she wants. The real point is that her husband was able to affirm his wife’s beauty and support her choice, despite the negative messages he had been given about natural hair. It is undeniable that Black women go through all kinds of changes about their hair connected with racism. My wife has beautiful natural hair (dreadlocks) and I love it. She wears it like a crown and gets compliments all true time. But however you choose to wear your hair, be at peace with it.

Tired of this
Guest
I really don’t see why people are getting so worked up about this new “natural hair” craze.… If someone decides to “go natural” then so be it. I am very tired of persons trying to find fault with the persons who do relax their hair making comments such as “people don’t accept who they are”, “they are giving into the pressure of what is said to be beautiful by the non-negro society”, “lack of self worth” .….. OH PLEASE!!!.… I suspect that the persons who have to make a big scene when they are going natural are the ones suffering… Read more »
cho10
Guest

why are you on a NATURAL hair website complaining that people are making a big deal about going natural? when u click on BGLH do u want to see a post that says Natural Hair:keep it moving, nothing to see here?

Ogbonz
Guest
I completely agree that this whole ‘natural is best’ attitude is extremely tiring. When I was growing up I thought I wanted swishy hair just like my white friends and hated when my mum put my hair in braids or cornrows though my hair has been relaxed for as long as I can remember. Now however I mostly just like the versatility and relative ease with which I can handle my hair. I know myself well enough that at this stage in my life there is no way I could handle my hair natural and transition or do a big… Read more »
Khanyi
Guest

TRUTH BE TOLD relaxers were introduced because our hair is “unmanageable” and “undesirable” so relaxed hair mimic European hair…take it or leave it!!!!!!!…and if your choice is to mimic European hair Bravo so be it its YOUR business…

eve-audrey
Guest

relaxed women who make angry comments on a natural hair site and then talk about insecurities… lol if you like your hair relaxed so be it it’s no one business. spare us those kind of comments.

FoxySilverGal
Guest

Your wife is beautiful both ways. You can see her beauty and her heart in her smile. So glad you came around to the “real” world. This was a great post. That was brave of you to accept your point of view and make changes. Thank you.

Mila
Guest

Stories like these are the reason why I do no date black men.

Michelle A.
Guest
Um…sweetie you got a brother or cousin?? LOL! It’s great for you to affirm your wife’s beauty as God made her, the beauty of black women as God made us. Despite the fact that most black women would say they don’t need anyone’s approval of their black hair (which is true) we can’t deny that it is always welcomed that our men embrace our natural beauty. Continually affirming and embracing encourages younger generations to see our natural selves as the accepted norm. It eventually won’t be such a challenge and take so much time for our kids to accept their… Read more »
treece12
Guest
Some of these comments…Ladies, first it is commendable that he is willing to admit he felt that way and that through educating himself about natural hair, introspection and love for his wife, he was able to overcome his hangups. Why should all black men be made out to be unappreciative of black women for the ignorance of some? That’s just ridiculous. That’s just as ridiculous as writing off all men because of the actions of one. The black men I’ve dated have been respectful and treated me well. Men who show no respect, regardless of race, I don’t give the… Read more »
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[…] Dr. Corey Guyton shared how insecurity and cultural expectations almost prevented him from supporting his wife’s […]

Lemmy Masekela
Guest

I love this!!!

MommieDearest
Guest

Some of these comments are just… WOW.… *smh*

I think some of ya’ll just want to be mad at black men period.

Jesus take the wheel…

Princess C
Guest

Thank you for sharing such an intimate time in your life 🙂

It takes much courage to challenge ourselves, but to actively work towards addressing an issue (an issue that is generally seen as acceptable around us)and expressing that to the people you care about, let alone the wider world .… is very commendable. Well done!!

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[…] Dr. Corey Guyton shared how insecurity and cultural expectations almost prevented him from supporting his wife’s […]

CT
Guest

Great article!
I only wish he went straight for honesty and simply said what he really wanted to say: he thought that a twa would make his wife “look like a man or manly”. He was also afraid that other people would think that he was with a man.
Period.

Anyway, her big chop truly brings out her beautiful face, features, and gorgeous glowing skin.

It’s wonderful that he’s giving her the support that she sought.

By Design
Guest

It’s sad and unfortunate that a lot of black men actually think this way. This could be the reason for the rise in black women dating outside of their race. It’s sad that most black men want a woman who fits the Eurocentric profile and won’t even look twice at a woman with natural hair. Brothers, you seriously have got to do better.

DeeperDeeper
Guest

He IS doing better, wtf are you saying? Black women need to better for themselves too. The men only know what we show them!

Peachy
Guest

I’m sorry but i think you’re incorrect, the majority of white men i have seen have only liked me because of my (was) relaxed hair, but then i know not all men are like that. You can’t group black men into one group and say they only like straight hair then say men out side of our race accept black women for who we are that’s very ignorant and hypocritical.

Lucy
Guest

STFU B! White men will always accept us for who we are over black men everyone knows that they prefer us Black Women over their own white women you would be a fool not to know that. SMH

Darla Jones
Guest

What’s with the hate? Articulate yourself instead of cursing at someone. SMH #keyboardthug

Bridget
Guest

That is a lie!!! You have some that don’t mind being with black women but a lot of them prefer their own race or other nationalities.

Toni
Guest

In this country, most definitely there are a lot of white men who “prefer their own”. You don’t see as many American caucasian men dating black women as you see in Europe. That being said, I think that it’s folly to lump all men of any ethnic background into one category. There are some who are accepting and some who are not.

Raven
Guest

I don’t think we should generalize as to why more black women are dating outside of their race. There are those of us who date the person not the skin color. Often times it has nothing to do with a black man not accepting us at all. And, as natural hairstyles become more prevalent in our society, the acceptance will grow amongst all groups. I’ve had men of different races smile and flirt with me. And the black sista queen comments are always lovely from black men. It just feels especially wonderful.

Judy
Guest

THIS.
I’ve been with my (white, British) boyfriend for over 2 years now, and it bugs me when I have to explain or justify why I’m not dating a black man. Plain and simple: he is intelligent, attractive, looks after himself and is proud to have me on his arm. On top of that, he’s been my biggest cheerleader as I’ve tried to grow my natural hair (and has even started to adopt some natural hair care practices, like cowashing instead of shampooing lol)

Natasha
Guest

You’re telling the brothers to do better but how long has it taken black women to do better for ourselves? Also, a lot of black women feed this nonsense to their male children, teaching them to lust after women with “good” hair.

Angieflyte99
Guest

Great article and worth sharing. It would be nice to see more male commentary here but I will remain hopeful that the seed takes root. Thank you

Raven
Guest

I appreciate his honesty and honesty is so refreshing. The thing is that often in relationships that last each partner goes through a growth cycle. Sometimes people can’t stand the new person that has emerged and other times, the other partner grows to accept the changes. When people get married they make a commitment to grow together. It is obvious that they are growing together and that is so wonderful. Great story!

Lee
Guest

luv this article!

Divine
Guest

WOW!This article is so refreshing! I admire his willingness to reevaluate himself, and the fact that he even shared his story.

Lila
Guest

This is awesome! He articulates what so many men think. The natural journey does have an impact on our partners, friends, and colleagues. It isn’t their experience or business, necessarily, but they certainly have opinions about the process and those opinions are formed/fed by media, images, etc. I appreciate this brother’s perspective.

leena
Guest

I thought this article was absolutely touching. It’s wonderful when folks start getting honest with themselves! I congratulate your courage to be honest and more importantly to step out and share it with us! 🙂

Sharon J
Guest

Lovely couple! You are both a blessing to each other. Thanks for the well-written editorial.

Jo Somebody
Guest
I’ll be honest, apart from inspiring debate amongst women, the article is kinda pointless here. It needs to be in a men’s magazine or on a site that men frequent often, if we want other men to also examine the source of their preferences. Otherwise, it was a decent read, the woman is BEAUTIFUL with the little fro (was pretty but, IMO, kinda forgettable before) and the husband is handsome too. I’m not really understanding the comments on his looks, unless there were other pics that have since been removed. Anyway, best of luck to the two of you. It’d… Read more »
Dr. Dixon
Guest
On the plus side, I think that he is superficially honest in expressing his lack of interest in natural hair. His insecurities are ethnocentric but he blames it on Eurocentric culture. What I mean is this: There are many Eurocentric men that love natural women and the beautiful soft natural hair of a black woman. They don’t want the weaves and other barriers that keep them from partaking in a woman’s authentic beauty. The messages that are in media are vanity-centric. They center around competition, hair texture, length, body shape and size…this is a very American way of thinking and… Read more »
Tiff
Guest

That’s great for you but to pretend that Black people or any minority is traditionally included in the European beauty standard is simply untrue. Light skin blacks with long hair were literally valued more by slave owners, they’re more likely to get hired. Until recently the African model was more about exoticism than beauty. Let’s not pretend that is an unfounded POV.

utopia
Guest

Dr. Dixon I am happy for you but not everyone Eurocentric person embrace afro textured hair. The advertising industries has a lot of influence on people’s perception of beauty.

Darla Jones
Guest

Took the words out of my mouth!

Dr. Dixon
Guest
On the plus side, I think that he is superficially honest in expressing his lack of interest in natural hair. His insecurities are ethnocentric but he blames it on Eurocentric culture. What I mean is this: There are many Eurocentric men that love natural women and the beautiful soft natural hair of a black woman. They don’t want the weaves and other barriers that keep them from partaking in a woman’s authentic beauty. The messages that are in media are vanity-centric. They center around competition, hair texture, length, body shape and size…this is a very American way of thinking and… Read more »
Judy
Guest

Yes!
#preach

kelly.
Guest

Beautiful article so well written. Shame there is ABWS all over the comments *yawn*

You’re honesty and openness are inspiring. Your wife has a strong supportive black man by her side, amen to that.

Our fears do not define us, how we tackle and deal with them does.

Ps your wife is a beautiful woman

🙂

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[…] Corey Guyton’s story of how he learned to appreciate his wife’s natural hair by following this link. Original Source— “Black Girl, Long […]

Eshmak
Guest

av just loved this

Kaitlin
Guest

awww

Treacle234
Guest

Aww

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