by
Black Girl With Long Hair
This week mainstream media outlets ran with a story started by a racist blog claiming that Black Lives Matter activist Shaun King was hiding his true identity as a white man.
Followers of the intelligent and dynamic leader were dismayed as publication after publication accused King of being a liar, charlatan and a hypocrite.
As it turns out King is the son of a “light-skinned black man” whom his mother had an affair with. She listed her then-husband, a white man, as the father on King’s birth certificate.
The rapid and gleeful way mainstream media ran with the story displays not only a racist bent (the woman blogger who unearthed this ‘secret’ is known to harass families of police brutality victims and has been banned from Twitter multiple times) but a lack of understanding of black identity.
In an effort to support Shaun King, domestic violence activist Sil Lai Abrams shared her story of not finding out that her father was black until teenhood.
https://twitter.com/Sil_Lai/status/634356264789786624
https://twitter.com/Sil_Lai/status/634357141105721344
https://twitter.com/Sil_Lai/status/634357295070224384
https://twitter.com/Sil_Lai/status/634357521025789952
https://twitter.com/Sil_Lai/status/634357980297854976
https://twitter.com/Sil_Lai/status/634358264059273216
https://twitter.com/Sil_Lai/status/634358880504532992
https://twitter.com/Sil_Lai/status/634359073459277824
https://twitter.com/Sil_Lai/status/634359332692430848
https://twitter.com/Sil_Lai/status/634359924005453824
https://twitter.com/Sil_Lai/status/634360120756056064
https://twitter.com/Sil_Lai/status/634360624869412864
https://twitter.com/Sil_Lai/status/634360945775616004
https://twitter.com/Sil_Lai/status/634361227720978432
Wow.
A story from The Oberlin Review goes deeper into Sil Lai’s story;
“It’s amazing how denial can kick in especially if your parents want you to believe something,” said Abrams. “When I asked my father, ‘Why is my skin tone different?’ what he told me seemed to make sense. I was born in Hawaii on the island of Maui, so what they told me was, ‘Sil Lai, your skin is brown because you are Hawaiian,’ and it made sense to me.”
Abrams revealed how she finally found out her true ethnicity as an early teenager. She and her sister were reading a book of “tasteless jokes,” and after reading a particularly offensive joke about black people, her father furiously burst into the room.
“‘I don’t know why you’re laughing Sil Lai. You’re one.’ My mouth hung wide as we watched him stalk out of the room without glancing back, and with those few words my father stripped me of my identity and place as his daughter. That was it. That was the conversation. That was how he told me,” said Abrams.
Her father told her that he and her family lied to her for so long out of love. Abrams found out that her mother had an affair with a black airplane pilot, and she was the result. Abrams said that after finding out, she became a social misfit and a part of the alternative culture inside her high school. She ignored her racial identity and her biggest fear was anyone finding out that she was black. At 17, her Florida driver’s license indicated her race as white.
America has provided very limited ways that people can be black, act black, define as black, but more people are coming to the fore and challenging those notions. The ‘black experience’ isn’t singular. There are a multitude of ways that those who identify as black express themselves and acknowledge their heritage;
No, My Blackness Isn’t Determined By Who I Date
How Rachel Dolezal Just Made Things Harder for Those of Us Who Don’t “Look Black”
“I Had to Un-Brainwash Myself” Zoe Kravitz Admits to Not Identifying With Black Culture as a Girl
The #AllBlackGirlsDont Tag Is Giving Black Women Space to Dispute Stereotypes and Self-Define
Ladies, what are your thoughts?
36 Responses
Genetically speaking, races don’t exist in human beings. They are social constructs. A real shame for those ostracized or who feel alienated, including the author, because of ignorance.
It’s the 21st Century and the age of genetics and epigenetics. We need to realize the truth. There’s only one race; the human race.
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/1998/10/981008051724.htm
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/race-is-not-biological_us_56b8db83e4b04f9b57da89ed
https://science.sciencemag.org/content/351/6273/564
This series gives a real insight to race in america.
Follow all three episodes:
Race_ The Power of An Illusion, Episode 1, Part 1 – MSU MediaSpace.htm
facts
“My father is Indian but he SO looks black and my mother is Malaysian but her grand-grandmother is black and I identify as black too. Plus, my boyfriend is Jamaican.” People. You do not LOOK, ACT, IDENTIFY, PASS, TALK, WALK black. You were BORN and ARE black. And that ONLY happens when your parents are black. I am tired of people trying to shimmy their way into one race of the other to their convenience. Being black is obvious. It’s not what you feel, it’s what you are. It’s what causes people to discriminate you, it’s what gives you a youthful appearance in your 50s, it’s the curls and kinks in your hair. Being black is that one thing you cannot hide. If you can camouflage it to your advantage to get a job then you are not living the black experience. People will say “oh so rude, it’s not all black and white!” But it is! Trying to dig in the grey zone to be black is the reason why Rachel Dolezal is Rachel Dolezal. Love your race, love your biracialness, because there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it, and let’s stop “identifying” as a race we *obviously* are not.
Just seeing this, but I am sorry that part about not being of african descent= not “black” is not true. Look up “how the Irish became white”, Read up abut how chinese people were classified as colored and black in the 1800s and early 1900s, Read up on Walter Plecker and how he classified Native Americans in Virginia as black(This happened all over the South East U.S. not just Va ), etc.. there are too many examples of people who are not of african descent being classified as black or colored. You do not know the history of race in this country, because if you did you’d know that being classified as black or colored depended on your skin color (NOT ancestry) and also depended on who was doing the writing and whether or not it was in the state’s personal interest to change someone’s racial classification for their own benefit.
I actually do know these things which is why I said what I said. I understand that currently being Black in America means having African ancestry. If/when that correlation looses its current social context Black will have yet a new meaning. I’m sorry but your comment is disengenuous you know very well that when someone in 2015 refers to a Black American what they mean. Of course the meanings can change. Being a person of color has generally implied any non white I know that. None of this is a mystery to me. I know the history well that is why I said what I said.
Black only means African ancestry to those that believe it to be that. It never historically applied to continent of origin, and still does not apply to that even to this day because race and ethnicity are not considered to be one in the same in the United states.They say it right there on the census website that race and ethnicity are separate categories. If race really equalled ethnicity or continent of origin then North Africans would be considered black in this country but they are considered to be white legally, regardless of their own personal claims. Even in this day and age, the government knows that black applies to many people whose ancestors were anything but African. Also the social context argument is a shaky one because there have been more recent examples of those of non African descent having their race changed to black with the support of the local black community behind them being the deciding factor. If even after all of that you still want to draw your same conclusion then go right ahead, but really this is just scratching the surface. Race is most definitely not ethnicity, and never will be.
There is no distiction between the concept of race and ethnicity they both refer to biological heritege. Furthermore America doesn’t make any distinction between Black and African; any census will clearly say black/African American. You know that and so do I. The civil rights movement in America strove to include the term African American prior to that the segment of the population here that were indigenous to Africa were refered to as Negros, Blacks, and Niggers. I currently live in the U.S and currently there is no distinction made between the two in a larger social context and I don’t know why you are pretending that isn’t so. I will agree that race is construct always intended to be disparaging to anyone but but those who classify themselves as white people and it always will be. I recently visited Australia where the natives call themselves Black ( they are of African descent, but I am sure you know that) however there racial distinction on any American form would be Asian/Pacific Islander. As far as north Africans go we all know they mirgated to Africa and have origins in the mideast and are considered white or Asian.
Who is the “local black community” you speak of? within the frame work of your argument it’s a meaningless phrase.
Yes there is, and it’s written into the laws. Do your research and you’ll find out about it. I spoke about it in terms of the law, not social context. Just because it’s not done socially doesn’t make it indistinguishable in all other avenues.
The comment you responded to spoke of the absences of a social distinction. Black has often been used as a synonym for slave not a secret, but currently colloquially and legally Black is used to identify people who have African ancestry. This doesn’t seem to be something you want to accept. It’s the only point I was making. I am not talking about previously accepted legal definitions of blackness. I’m not going back and forth with you any longer. You enjoy arguing even when you contradict yourself. Of course terms like Nigger and Negro aren’t aren’t ancestrial that was not material to my point. The point is that while the terms may change their is no societal confusion about who is being refered to. Laws that identified all slaves as some sort of black while perhaps still in some books are so antiquated they are no longer relevant. I’m a law student and I can say without any doubts that the laws of this country and most are not concrete nor intended to be as society evolves. If you follow the etymology of all words they have changed, evolved, and taken on new meanings. I don’t even understand what point you are trying to make. I’m done with this convo. Stay blessed.
“There is no distiction between the concept of race and ethnicity they both refer to biological heritege” No they do not. Race in this country was originally pushed upon it’s residents based on color, not ancestry.White was such a new term back then, that what the term referred to had to be explained for the Europeans still in Europe to understand it when they heard it. During slavery, all slaves were called Negro because they were slaves, it had nothing to do with ancestral origin. There were white Negros, Indian Negros, African Negros, etc.
“any census will clearly say black/African American. You know that and so do I.” How far back are you looking? Because earlier ones used other terms, and African American is a new term that only became widely used in recent years. If you want to see how arbitrary and non origin based race is in this country, go read the census instructions pre-1940. You will be shocked by what you read.
“prior to that the segment of the population here that were indigenous to Africa were referred to as Negros, Blacks, and Niggers.” Those terms were not origin specific, they were imposed based on color and what the census instructor wanted to write down, not ancestral origin. Plenty of people who were not of African origin were called those terms, and many of their descendants are stuck under it until they provide major documentation proving otherwise.
“Australia where the natives call themselves Black ( they are of African descent, but I am sure you know that)” Australian natives are native to Australia. Please remember that the Out of Africa theory is exactly that, a theory. It has not been proven with any evidence that is beyond a shadow of a doubt. (and yes, I have heard all of the so-called evidence. It does not fit the parameters or definitive proof, which is why it is still called a theory). Also please remember that “Black” as we know it is not applied the same way in other countries, and usually does not mean exactly the same things. U.S. “Race” is unique to the U.S. Our “colored” in the U.S. means mixed race in South Africa. Mulatto is our version of their colored. You have to take each countries history into account because while they may share terms, it usually has a different application, and at times a different meaning as well.
“Who is the “local black community” you speak of?” It was within the context of the incident I mentioned with the white woman who wanted to change her race to black. The local black community where she lived were the tipping point that allowed her request to be granted because they stood behind her and supported her desire to be classified as black. It was not meaningless, it was very clearly attached to the situation I was describing.
Btw, I am done with this conversation, it has gone on too long so now we are going in circles. It’s clear that I have my viewpoint and that you have your viewpoint. My viewpoint is not going to change, not only because the history speaks for itself, but because I don’t do generalizations of history or identity. I’ll do what I think is proper for me and you can do the same.
Well said.
Honestly people, Why didn’t he change the names on his birth certificate and get the race changed on it? You actually CAN DO THIS if it’s incorrect and you have proof!
Stop leaving these things in the records if it’s not true. No one can come at you with these claims if you correct these things!
i am confused
That is not true at all. You do not have to have two black parents to be considered black. Let’s start with a history lesson…unfortunately, in this country under the slavery system and the subsequent Jim Crow Laws it was deemed that if you had even one ancestor of African descent you were considered black. Those premises still hold today but people are refusing more and more to be defined by that standard. If Sil Lai’s father was African-American then she is technically considered the same.
Come on so because society considers her black, she’s technically black? That’s not what the word means. Her mom is Asian and her dad is black, so she is technically both black and Asian, period. If she identifies as being black though, there’s nothing wrong with that but it doesn’t suddenly erase her Asian background.
Then how is it you HAVE to have TWO WHITE PARENTS to be considered WHITE? Please explain the logic / inconsistency in the argument if you can.
“My father is Indian but he SO looks black and my mother is Malaysian but her grand-grandmother is black and I identify as black too. Plus, my boyfriend is Jamaican.” People. You do not LOOK, ACT, IDENTIFY, PASS, TALK, WALK, or CONSIDERED black. You were BORN and ARE black. And that ONLY happens when your parents are black. I am tired of people trying to shimmy their way into one race of the other to their convenience. Being black is obvious. It’s not what you feel, it’s what you are. It’s what causes people to discriminate you, it’s what gives you a youthful appearance in your 50s, it’s the curls and kinks in your hair. Being black is that one thing you cannot hide. If you can camouflage it to your advantage to get a job then you are not living the black experience. People will say “oh so rude, it’s not all black and white!” But it is! Trying to dig in the grey zone to be black is the reason why Rachel Dolezal is Rachel Dolezal. Love your race, love your biracialness, because there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it, and let’s stop “identifying” as a race we *obviously* are not.
it is very much true. Yeah you stay in slavery times im in the 21st century.
This person is not black. Black people are the product of two black parents
Race becomes complex when people are of mixed race. My friend is black who has black parents. One fairly dark-skinned, one light-skinned, and she herself is lighter than both. People often think she’s mixed.
Her daughter is blonde hair, blue-eyed, and fair skin. Her daughter looks white, but she may identify as black when she’s older.
Like I said race is complex.
Who cares what Shaun King’s race is? As long as he’s not faking the race he claims, then what’s the issue? I’m just glad he cares about black lives so much.
“People often think she’s mixed.”
Because she IS mixed. She’s descended from a line of very mixed people who were one-dropped ruled. The mother is light because she has a lot of ancestral admixture. We know this because we know there were no light-skinned, golden haired people in ancient Africa. People who can pass as white are not black. They have some blackness in them, but a simple DNA test and common sense will tell them they are mostly “other.” Black people continue to perpetuate the lie that there are black people who can pass for white, because these black individuals feel inadequate in their blackness. They don’t feel blackness is good enough, attractive enough, unless those who don’t look black claim blackness. They feel this validates the identity. This is why Rachel Dolezal was able to pose as black, though she looked nothing like a black woman. Most black people lack the pride that is present in other groups. Black people make me sad.
“People often think she’s mixed.”
Because she IS mixed. She’s descended from a line of very mixed people who were one-dropped ruled. The mother is light because she has a lot of ancestral admixture. We know this because we know there were no light-skinned, golden haired people in ancient Africa. People who can pass as white are not black. They have some blackness in them, but a simple DNA test and common sense will tell them they are mostly “other.” Black people continue to perpetuate the lie that there are black people who can pass for white, because these black individuals feel inadequate in their blackness. They don’t feel blackness is good enough, attractive enough, unless those who don’t look black claim blackness. They feel this validates the value of the black identity. This is why Rachel Dolezal was able to pose as black, though she looked nothing like a black woman. Most black people lack the pride that is present in other groups. Black people make me sad.
First, I don’t like the notion that if you find out you’re mixed with black, all of a sudden it becomes false that you are white. Both Sil Lai and Again are white. They just happen to also be black, but the media strictly uses the term black in place of mixed which is the accurate description of what they are.
Second, Sil Lai makes it seem as if we’re all to assume that any time we see an olive complected person in a white family there must have been an affair to create that person. If your birth certificate says both your parents are white, the best information anyone has to go by says you are also white. I don’t fault anyone for thinking people in this situation would be trying to pull the wool over everyone’s eyes because you would have to produce an alternate father to prove otherwise. Yes, infidelity does happen and some children are born under these circumstances, but no one besides the biological parents can affirm that, and it would be wrong of other people to assume your family is lying rather than take you as you are.
Sil Lai’s mother is Chinese (the woman in the family portrait is her stepmother).
….but her family WERE lying to her; so … anyone who looked on and had assumed that would’ve been (in that case) right, not wrong to assume.
No. Just because your assumption coincidently turns out to be correct doesn’t make it right to assume anything about anyone’s family history that you don’t have evidence of. Coincidence is not a justification for assumption.
Sil Lai isnt any type of white. Her mothers Asian.
Thank You bosslaydee. Somebody else saw the picture that I saw.
Her father loved her as his own which is wonderful. I don’t understand why she refers to him as the man on her birth certificate, he’s her father not biological but her father none the less.
This is why blackness should be about self identification. No one drop rule. No community consensus. If you identify with blackness, then own it.
amen
Weird how no white or Asian person would ever say this. The consensus issue is one mostly for black Americans. None of these people are black. Period. Black Americans don’t want to draw a line in the sand like others do.
Legally, if it’s in your ancestry (and you can prove it) you can claim it and have your race legally changed to reflect that. Even if it isn’t in your ancestry, if the community recognizes that person as black,and they have fully immersed themselves in the community, then they can legally “become” a black person, the race on birth certificate, Social Security, etc changed. Because race is a legal and social construct, it can be changed as long as the requirements are met for that change to be legal.
Race is a white mans concept. No lie. Literally one white man came up with the concept and the cruxt of its demeaning and meaningless origins remain ( please look it up before you argue with me even if you believe it do not take my word for it look it up; if you haven’t already your mind will be blown). But, that does not mean that hertiage has no meaning; if you are not of African descent you are not black unless that term is socially disconnected from having African ancestry.
But she has one parent who is Black. Should a Black kid who is adopted by White parents identify as White, since that is the culture they are raised in??