by
Chinwe
I have been on many girls trips over the years with different groups of friends, and some trips were really good while others were bad. I went on one trip that resulted in the demise of a seven-year friendship. I went on others that transformed acquaintanceships into close friendships. I’ve gone on some trips that were SUCH a headache to plan, largely because there was too much estrogen involved. Yet, I’ve gone on trips that were efficiently planned to perfection. After all of those experiences and others, I have realized that I need to be selective about girls trips. Let me break it down:
It can be draining – not just financially, but mentally
Traveling with a group of women can bring about a mix of different tastes and personalities. With that comes a medley of expectations or hopes on where to stay during the trip, what to do, where to eat, how much it will cost, and more. There is the girlfriend who refuses to stay in nothing less than a 4.5-star hotel while another is satisfied with a 3 star. Or there is the gal pal who expects to visit a type of venue that another gal pal would rather not. Being that I know a mix of women with a variety of interests, planning such a trip can get complicated. Additionally, the bigger the group of ladies, the more intricate the trip can become in terms of expenses, satisfying everyone’s desires, and overall mental energy. As a result, these days, I choose a trip based on how it is going to impact my wallet and my sanity but MORESO my sanity. The fewer the women, the better. The more alike they are in interests and personalities, the better. The more flexible they are regarding things to do, the better.
It can destroy a friendship …
Remember how the friendships of Ryan, Sasha, Lisa, and Dina were tried in the movie “Girls Trip”? Well that can happen in real-life girls trips. While some bonds are unbreakable and can survive even the biggest of tests, others can crack and never be repaired. The latter is what happened over ten years ago when I decided to mix friend groups on a trip – something that I never did before and will never do again. Never. Different expectations caused the trip to fizzle and the friendship to crumble. The resulting negative energy permeated the group and broke down everyone. All the good times were forgotten, and the remainder of the trip was an act. When this happens on a girls trip, it feels like a train hit you. Essentially, the trip leaves you emotionally wrecked.
Or rejuvenate you and your girls
While in the past I used to attend every girls trip I could afford, I now turn down trips that show red flags from the planning stage. I also tend to say no to girls trips that will not add to my wellbeing in some way. Girls trips of these kind — girls trips that add to my wellbeing — tend to be with women friends in my innermost circle. Women with positive energy, and women of substance. Those are the kinds of trips that can make a friendship stronger while also invigorating the soul. Those are the kinds of girls trips that leave me rejuvenated and changed (in a good way). Yes, I am selective about my girls trips, and that selectivity is essential to my self care.
