by
Black Girl With Long Hair
Reader Chinyelu (not pictured above) writes;
So I have been natural for a little over two years now. After my BC I wore my hair in braids for about a year till it grew out a bit. The moment I took out the braids and decided to wear my natural hair, I was horrified! My hair just looked awful! I have the toughest type of hair to deal with, type 4a/b! Also, my hair is very thin. This might be due to constantly relaxing since I was about 3 years old. I felt extremely ugly with my natural hair and even emailed a popular natural hair blogger for advice.
The email response didn’t help and after some searching I realized that there is a lack of blogs that deal with type 4 hair. Many natural hair bloggers have absolutely beautiful and easy to manage hair. They make it look effortless. Does anyone else feel this way? Does anyone have really difficult hair and can’t seem to get help from these natural blogs??
I actually think there are quite a few blogs and vlogs helmed by women with type 4 hair. A few of my favorites are The Natural Haven, SofullSista, A Grl Can Mac, Sera25 and KimmayTube. Ladies, what are your thoughts?
170 Responses
I have type 4 hair. I don’t know wether I am 4a4b or 4c. I have been natural a little over a year and i have good days with my hair and bad. I admit that I do not like the hair in the back of my head which is for me the most kinky part of my head. What has really helped me is doing the cherry lola treatment and maximum hydration method on my hair. It is not necessarily true that wash and go’s don’t work on type 4 hair.I am trying to learn to love the hair God gave me, yet and still I often toy with the idea of getting a texturizer.
Hi I have been natural for a year and a half. It has been the most frustrating and discouraging experience. Though I had the rest of my relaxed hair cut off a month ago, my hair is still dry and difficult to manage. I am considering going back to relaxed hair as well. I have experienced more breakage, tangles, knots and hair loss than I did being relaxed. I have tried sooooo many different products for moisture. Nothing works! With the amount of money I have spent on products in the last year, I could have paid for relaxer at a salon several times over. I don’t know how my mother did this when I was growing up. I have to admit that I hate my natural hair. Nothing I use on it works.
Same… I’m also type 4b/c and when I first BC’ed I was horrified and discouraged. But as my hair grew out and I moisturized it religiously and got used to it, I began to truly love it. I’ve been working with it for about a year and now I wouldn’t want my hair any other way! As for 4a/b/c bloggers, I also recommend Naptural85, JustMeAnd4C, Jouelzy, and Nikki Mae. Something that really helped me was looking up all the BENEFITS of my hair type. I came upon one thread that reminded me that my 4b hair was BOMB. Look up methods of thickening hair, and focus on moisture… 4a/b hair DOES have some curl, and when moisturized properly it will POP. Find out what works for your hair.
I honestly understand the type 4 frustration. The first time I went natural I was so frustrated that my hair wasn’t like all these pretty haired icons n such. So after 6 months I relaxed it again. But I actually missed not having chemically altered hair later on and did it again and this time I actually know more about taking care of my hair and now it’s fine! I love my hair 🙂 yes it’s not the easiest to care for but I bet naturals from all types have their struggles. I think it just takes time to realize your hair is your hair and not anyone else’s therefore you shouldn’t expect it to be like others and when you realize that it’s the first step to truly loving the hair you’re in <3
You`re there to have fun and meet interesting men, not to pass a pop quiz. Let him know, how independent you are of this date, but try doing in a subtle matter, without being a snob
I agree with everything said beginning from Guest1234. At the beginning of my journey, I had no clue what to do with my hair. I never used relaxers much, but I always wore a very low cut. As low as a man till my husband said no more. I have spider webs for hair strands on my hair. Very, very fine tigtly coiled type 4c hair. If it wasnt for hair typing, I would have cut it all off. Hair typing worked for me. Please, those of you who casualy wave away when people complain about their hair types please be gentle. You will never know how hard it is to deal with hair as fine and delicate as spider webs and more tightly coiled than pen springs. I am a Nigerian, and where I live Audrey Organics bla, bla, bla are hard to find. I also have super dry hair. The first key to my redemption was when I discovered hair is not the same. I googled 4c hair and landed on darker than brown blog. When I saw her hair and length, I wiped my tears. Although whereas she has coarse strands, mine are super fine. Oh my God! How do you detangle spider webs? I tried to follow the all natural products route and I was burdening myself more. One day I was lucky to buy Giovanni direct leave in. I enjoyed it but it never kept moisture in my hair for 6 hours. Then I began my love affair with henna. In US you have hair police that dictate to you what to do when they have a different curl pattern to yours. I say to them ‘do your thing, I do mine’. I started hennaing for the colour, it never turned out but I got other benefits. When my Giovanni got used up, my hair started acting up. I would henna every other day in twists so there zero manipulation. I did it to loosen my curl pattern. It loosened it a lot! Detangling got much earsier and shrinkage reduced. I found a cheap Nigerian product that works well to keep moisture. I never go near a shampoo. Cowash with VO5 conditioners, henna, deep condition with molasses(the best) and keep my hair in braid or twist extensions. I spritz with water/lavender/rosemary/castor/jojoba oil mix. I am retaining length!
this is weird to me. i only watch the vloggers with “4” hair. besides the fact that my hair is like theirs, i find it to be incredibly beautiful when cared for. i’m always flummoxed when people say they never see people with “4” hair.
i do not watch people or take advice from mixed girls like hey fran hey, taren, or denim pixie.
there are even black women i don’t really watch like mahoganycurls because our hair is nothing alike.
i want to cultivate an appreciate of what’s mine. it can be hard to do that when you’re constantly coveting what others have. focus on people like you who have found beauty in themselves.
Don’t be discouraged. I have course, porous, hair that can be very thin. I am probably a type 4. But I realized that my hair really can be healthy, strong and grow. I have never been the type to spend hours (and major dollars) on my hair. I have been natural since at least 97, and I’ve learned so much through trial and error (lots and lots of error). Blogs are fantastic, but they weren’t out there when I first went natural. And then I didn’t really understand my hair’s “potential” until I locked for the second time (abused the first set pulling, tugging and punishing my hair for being nappy). I don’t know if this works for everybody by there are two things that really work for me:
1. Letting my hair do its own thing in locs.
2. Making sure I got plenty of moisture (inside and out), the right nutrition and leading a healthy, active lifestyle.
When I don’t eat right or get enough moisture, I struggle. I guess locs are a really good protective style (for me at least) so if you’re interested in keeping your hair loose/free, I’d invest some time/research in finding protective styling that works for you. Beware tight braids/weaves and anything that can damage your scalp, and just see what your hair can do. It took me more than two years to figure it out, so I definitely understand your frustration. Good luck!
I might be in the minority here, but I find hair typing really helpful. When I go online to find hairstyles, I’m really only interested in people who have styled hair that looks similar to mine. I don’t much look to Jennifer Aniston’s style, and I don’t look to Tracy Ellis Ross’ styles. Their hair is different from mine. And that’s okay.
I think the anti-typing craze betrays a personal inferiority complex. I have type 4 hair. I don’t care what others say about type 4 hair. But when I’m looking for styles, I don’t have time to waste perusing through videos, etc… of people whose hair is NOTHING LIKE MINE. That’s just a waste of time.
Imagine going to a grocery store and having all the products in a jumble. Eggs next to the granola next to the lettuce, with no categories, grouping or signs. Instead, the grocers tell the shoppers “we don’t categorize here, it’s too divisive. It’s all food…blah blah blah.” Well, that’d be ridiculous, wouldn’t it? It’d take for-freaking-ever to get what you need. We categorize and group to make searching easier. That’s all.
Get over it, ladies. There’s nothing wrong with making the search for hair styles more pointed and simple by grouping hair types. It doesn’t mean anybody’s putting you down.
EXACTLY!! What is up with this anti-typing, it makes sense to have a system. When I first started looking at videos, seeing a girl with 3b hair do styles only made me more frustrated with my hair, looking at a women with beautiful hair that is SIMILAR to your own is a lot more helpful and inspiring.
+1000 If all hair is good hair what does it matter that type 2B or 4Z. Hair Typing is useful. I’ve seen many woman on this site w/beautiful type 4B/C hair as well 3B, and I’ve envied both! The author will need to adjust her standards of beauty like we all did, and she will be fine.
try kinkycurlycoilyme.com or at blackizbeautiful on youtube. she is a 4b and she is amazing, she does tutorials and TONS of product reviews, i am the same way as you very thin hair that wont hold a style for very long, what her tutorials and going on her website has helped.
There is nothing more frustrating than hearing ladies talk about the “type” of hair they have and which type is more beautiful. Ugh!! We are all unique and simply by virtue of that, beautiful from head to toe… hair and all. I’m sure your hair is beautiful and it may very well be the way you are caring for it which could be the result of you not achieving the look you expect. There are lots of information online (blog sites, youtube, etc.) to use and discover what could work best for you, to get the desired look you want for your hair. Be proud of your hair and don’t be so quick to compare your hair to others. Would you do that about yourself?… I think not! So, enjoy your hair journey and own every follicle of your glorious crown. 🙂
I have type 4b hair, I’m only a year in and I fortunately started off at an advantage because my sister went natural two year before me.Sadly though some things she used wasn’t helping me at all. Her hair type is 4 as well, the only difference is she has an S curl and my hair strands twist on themselves. At first I assumed I has high porosity but then I discovered that was why it felt that way. I have learned that with proper moisture and gentle care your hair will strive. Many people have recommended I use a thick leave in but I’ve noticed that a light spray works better I then seal it with an oil. I cowash twice a week and wash every one to two months. Please don’t give up if you keep trying and building a relationship with your hair it will get better.
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I just cut my hair this week after wearing relaxed hair for 13 years. I have discovered my hair grows in very very small clumpy curls. I now realize that I never really checked my hair out (always stretched, blow-dried, hot combed, braided etc.) My hair is also thick and feels very hard when dry. Hearing about other “type 4” experiences of learning to manage their hair has given me courage. I’ll bookmark this page:) Thanks to all.
Everybody’s experience is not the same. Just because people have had a different experience doesn’t make it a mental thing. My hair is 4c and I didn’t have a good experience at first either. I often wear sewins and braids just to have versatility.
I would like to know HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAIR TYPE YOU HAVE?!??!
someone please answer me. I really have no idea on how you know. Is there a web site or a book? So confused!
Check Naturallycurly.com
I think the issue is having unrealistic expectations of our hair in regards to curl pattern and curl envy. Especially, when some hair care lines promise to turn even the kinkiest of kinks into springy curls and we become disappointed and discouraged when 4 type hair doesn’t magically turn into type 3 hair. The first step is to accept what your hair can/can’t do and love it as it is and try to make it be the best it can be. Naptural85, Natural Chica both have type 4 hair and their hair looks FABULOUS!!!!
I DEF feel the FRUSTRATION i had TRIED EVERYTHING i bought EVERYTHING and NOTHING worked I logged on u tube and one vlogger(harmony of freewhorshipper) put it all in perspective FIND WHAT works for you I think my hair is OFF THE CHARTS!!! i have no type LOL but i stopped buying all that mess (BTW CAROLS DAUGHTER) i want ALL my money back LOL and went to the basics I found a blog (urbanbushbabes) and went old skool and the KEY is moisture.. i was doing it all WRONG now i LOVE my hair it is bold, brash, sassy, full, soft and shiny and REFUSES to be tamed (like me) and out of all the THOUSANDS (YES THOUSANDS) of dollars I spent the ONLY thing that works for me is water, olive oil, coconut oil and the MOST fabulous product on the planet (in my opinion) IC Fantasia olive oil gel ($3.75)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! for my wash and go’s, twist out AND protective styles… u really have to do what works for you I am ashamed i took the long route but glad i did because i realized less is more and i am applying that mantra to my entire life now… keep it simple and it just may work out…. i love this blog and all of the commenters and all of the “natural mafia” I am so aware of myself I had to look deeper than the perm burns to realize i was trying to be someone I wasn’t and the positive, uplifting comments from blogs and posters not only encouraged me it CHANGED MY LIFE who knew something as simple and unimportant as HAIR was soooo deep ….
love it. natural mafia. its so true about raw e.v.o.o. after a wash and condition while damp i braid it with extra virgin cold pressed oil from the bottle it turns out soo silky and soft the next day.
Your hair is probably thin from wearing braids for a year and not balancing the moisture and protein your hair needs. I suggest you buy a copy of ‘The Science of Black’ hair. I have very thick and very corse type 4 a/b coils. I BC’d over a year ago and tried a variety of products and watched a ton of videos. At the end of the day you have to understand what YOUR hair needs. Your hair will not always respond to the same methods and treatments as others. I just finished the book, learned A LOT and my already great hair is even better after creating my own regime based upon the needs of my hair. Go get it, worth every penny!
Great advice.
im on youtube a lot of people dont like my “style” of blogging but i do have type 4 hair 4c at the back and gets softer towards the front and it is possible to tame afro hair. the main problem is not enough moisture. when i started co-washing once/twice a week my hair turned around. i was always tought to wash my afro hair once twice a month and i never used a leave in that my hair actually liked. the tougher the hair, the heavier the heavier the leave-in must be and a fresh braid out every few days after a wash will work wonders.
I think that there aren’t enough blogs/advice for girls with **fine** 4a/b hair. I have fine 4b hair and it’s SO damn hard to take care of properly without breakage. I’m starting to give up hope for any length retention since my hair’s been neck-length (stretched) for so many months now…
You should start a youtube channel 🙂
Please preach!!! Most of the recommended regimens for type 4b hair are better suited for people with thick strands. My hair is very fine (has always been), and I have found that the least amount of manipulation necessary (long term protective styles like twists or whatever) is crucial. Overstyling will surely lead to breakage. I plateaued at neck length, but once I styled my hair with minimal touching it grew out to armpit length and eventually bra strap length. And manipulation of wet hair is pretty much begging for breakage.
Preach!! there is VERY little info on our hair type!! Recently i stopped giving a damn! Now all i do is shampoo deep condition OIL MY HAIR STRAND. oH AND STARTED PUTTING IN TWIST WITH 100% human hair.
Also, why do you use the classification of your hair type from what ppl say on these sites? Is 4 supposed to be better or worse than 2 or 3? Is any one hair classification better than another? Its hair! If you find a product and a regimen that works for you, who cares about 4z 2f 1b?!?! Why bother with all that jazz? Just be good to your hair… And to yourself!
I don’t believe in the politics of the numbering system much myself, but I do find it to be slightly helpful. Sure, density and porosity are more important for the majority of the regimen. But knowing the degree of kink in your hair pattern can be useful. This is mainly true when I’m looking for detangling methods or ways to gently stretch the hair to prevent knots and tangles. For every person that says these things don’t matter, I would argue that not knowing how to do these things according to curl pattern could result in unnecessary breakage. Most of the bloggers I followed when I first went natural were 3b or 3c or a very loose 4a. Some of them would use brushes (Denman or whatever) to detangle, but when I tried it my hair broke off! Others would swear by wash n gos, but I tell you that wash n gos for longer type 4b/c hair causes ridiculous amounts of tangling and SSKs. I think there are plenty of 4a bloggers on the web, but less of the 4b/c/z representing. Kimmaytube and the majority of people referenced still carry the loosest version of Type 4 hair. *sigh*
To say that the hair typing system is pointless would mean that Type 1 (straight hair) could be cared for in the same way as type 4c (very kinky, no defined curl) hair. This is simply not the case.
I do find the LOIS system to be less politically implicit and equally helpful as a substitute to the Walker typing system.
4b/c/z girls step up there’s a high demand for bloggers like you !!
Have to agree.
3abc hair is represented and the “right way to be natural” and “good hair” and they make up the majority of vloggers in terms of popularity, ads and protect faces, and even 4 types are a looser 4 type, kinda like a 3c/4a hybrid. So there is little representation of 4b/c/z hair, and this makes me very very very upset. Its like we gone from straight hair and step down a notch to curly hair but always shunning kinky hair. 4types REPRESENT. We need to push!
Also I shall add in a youtuber Naturalme4c love her!
+1
I have a type 4 hair, what that woman called the “toughest” type of hair. Actually, I don’t like this hair typing thing, I’m just using it here as a reference. I love my hair the way it is. I found how to make it do what I want.I like its versatility.
P.S: For the natural hair vloggers with “type 4”
-Mwedzi
-HairCrush
-br0nzeQt
-Amandadb1
-AfricanExport
-jerseystylezz
-vanie0285
-160Days2Lose2
-itsmemonchichi
-motorcitymoxy
-aliciajamesmusic
-cipriana (urbanbushbabes)
-whoissugar…
i would add:
mstanish
rusticbeauty (doesn’t post but has videos up)
torridiana777
longhairdontcarellc
BlakIzBeautyful
beautyfulbrwnbabydol
ToniDaley80
i have to admit, i roll my eyes when people act like there are no v/blogs done by 4 hair women. these are the only ones i notice. and, i truly believe they are the majority.
You probably just need the right products and to treat it properly. Your hair type is not bad. No hair type is bad if you treat properly.
I was definitely a frustrated type 4, but I found the natural hair blogs out there to be very helpful. You can follow the advice of bloggers with so called “easy to manage” hair and still benefit from their tips, i.e protective styling, gentle handling, finger combing, etc. Just know your hair isn’t going to look exactly like someone else’s and know that it takes time to figure out what works for you. I’ve been natural almost 5 years and have really only recently been able to retain some length. I simplified my routine, stopped trying every new product out there, and focused on keeping my hair moisturized.
I think in addition to this, you have to stop telling yourself that your hair is “difficult”. Having this (seemingly) negative view point can be detrimental when you’re on this natural hair journey. Just remember that your hair is more delicate than others & so it requires more care. If you treat it like fine, exquisite silk, it’ll grow. From a fellow type 4a/b who is just now getting the hang of it after 3yrs, trust that you’ll learn.
I had my first relaxer when I was 11 and went through periods of extending my relaxer for long periods of time. I already knew that I was 4b/c type hair and was comfortable with that, I had no other choice. I absolutely love my hair and don’t feel any problem viewing vbloggers who have my hair texture. To add on to the ones mentioned in this article there is also, BeautifulBrownBabyDoll, Natural85, natrualnessdotcom, curlychronicles, mstanish1 and even african export who are all in the 4a/b/c category. I say people should do their research and find what works for them and their hair.
Hey- I think you mean Naptural85 😉 She’s great.
Dear Chinyelu
I have 4z hair and although it may seem difficult to manage it is not the case. You have to find what products your hair loves and you will then find your hair is very manageable and a joy, I wear my hair in protective styles and look forward to wash day as I can play with my hair.
I suggest you follow the KimmayTube method, I found the information on her website very useful. Although her leave in works for many naturals it did not entirely work for me but I use her leave in as a basis for me. I used to think leave in conditioners were for white people only, lol. I just used to dry my hair and apply oil then blowdry and do mini twists.
Keep a hair diary and take lots of pictures, whatever protective style you find easiest to do stick with it and slowly experiment with more styles. For me I found that Kimmay’s roll tuck and pin did not work for me (I looked butt ugly) so I started doing protective ponytails with a twist out fringe, now I do cornrows or flat twists as my hair breaks easily, it also saves me time in the mornings.
Please don’t despair. Remember, the women on YouTube and hair blogs are the ones who have mastered their hair and are probably only 1% of the natural hair women community. Lots of us felt the way you do when we started our journey. If you learn what your hair likes it will be manageable. I discovered hair blogs and YouTube in January 2011 and in September I finally mastered my hair. 9 months isn’t that long.
Toughest? I disagree that 4a/b is a difficult type of hair to work with. I can’t even imagine having another type! Remember that we also have the most versatile type of hair! There’s so much we can do for it and to it in order to achieve different results. I feel like I’ve had the luxury of growing up loving my hair- I was never taught that it was bad or difficult. I know that it’s thick, but it’s certainly not ugly or difficult.
Right now I wear my hair in braid outs and comb eco styler through it for a shorter look. When it’s longer I’ll probably only use braid outs, because I love them! My hair is a very very thick mix of 4a and b…lots of tiny spirals.
I felt some kind of way too when I did the BC I didn’t feel my hair looked like everyone else’s but I love it now I don’t do wash and go’s for tangling reasons and breakage I keep it twisted and moisturized and it can be styled with the twists as far as the thinness I use castor oil on my scalp and it does work perming my hair for years really thinned me out that’s what forced me to go natural I wouldn’t change a thing I love this experience.
I recently started using castor oil as well. You should use it to take down your twists as well it work great on the ends for detangling!
I have type 4 hair and I believe there are SSSOOOO many resources available to type 4s nowadays. A few of my favorite youtubers are MsTanish1, MissKrisNew, AfricanExport, KimmayTube, KinkyCurlCoil, Iamsonotmyhair, and so many more. ALL of these women have beautiful type 4 hair. I think people get confused about kinky hair. I think a lot of people feel as though if your hair doesn’t look like a big ball of cotton you can not possibly be a type 4. What people need to understand is that moisturization is key. When type 4 hair is properly moisturized it’s equally beautiful as everyone else’s (and your curls will show themselves to boot). Healthy hair practices will speak for themselves.
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Your hair is gorgeous!
I agree type 4 hair isn’t the easiest to deal with and believe me I can relate! Even when I did relax my hair it still was thick and unruly. I’ve broken many combs in my lifetime and many stylists have a tough time doing my hair. When I transitioned I was ashamed of my hair and I hid it under braids and weaves. I think my breaking point was when I was getting my hair braided at an african braidery. They acted as if they didn’t know how to manage my thick kinky hair! I was sad because I thought surely africans could tame my mane and I thought wrong. I looked at their hair and even they his their hair under weaves. After that day I never went back and I decided I was goin to learn how to style my own hair. After a few mistakes and in general trial and error I learned to love my hair! No I can’t wear a ” wash n go” style…at least not to my standards but I learned to work with what I have. In the end it really is a mental issue you have to work past. Along with that you have to ignore the ignorant comments you will come across. I live in a town where natural hair is RARE. almost every black woman has a weave or a perm. Don’t be discouraged though I’m sure with time you will learn to love your hair. I think the best advice I can give you is try not to control it. Our hair grows as it pleases. I’m not saying you have to wear an afro (I don’t) but eventually you will find a style that works for you!
4a?4b is the hardest type? lmaoo, not to me. it’s all in your mind.
+1
+1 Here as well…lmao I have type 4A/B and honestly my hair is radiant! It started out very, very rough and at the 15 month mark post BC and roughly 20 month mark post last perm my hair POPPED!!! I though I had 4C-Z or something that resembled a brillo pad…lol I’m poking fun but my hair has come into it’s own and I adore it.
I agree! My 4b/4c hair was rough in the beginning as well but I stuck with it,gave it time, learned the best way to moisturize it and now my hair and I have a great relationship :).
I totally agree with this. There ARE type 4 bloggers out there but it seems that there are far more who are NOT type 4.
I can certainly relate! I don’t think we have ugly or bad hair, but if you don’t know how to style your hair it looks bad! It’s frustrating to see so many youtubers with “wash & go” hair, but we just have to work that much harder. Don’t give up curly sis, we can do this together! My suggestion would be to go to a natural stylist in your area for a consult. Talk to an expert! Hope that helps…
I think your issue may be more of an mental thing. You stated that your hair is hard to managed, ugly or some other bad word you used to describe it. The way you speak about your hair if I was your hair I would not respond well to you either. You may need to change what it is you find more appealing about hair, so if you are not someone who likes kinky, undefined, frizzy, nappy hair now is the time to become what your hair is and love it. Also its only been a year give your hair more time to grow out and acquire more experience wig dealing with it and learning what I likes. In the meantime wear wigs or braids that resemble your hair or some variation of natural hair. I have a mix of 4 hair a,b and c. So I do know where you are coming from, though my hair is thick so I had to over come SO MUCH. I’ve always assumed thinner type 4 hair was so much easier to managed (I guess not). Like I said I have type 4 thick hair close to APL. But I had a moment where I was going to texturize because what I was going through with styling and feeling like no one hair was like mine. With proper moisturizing my curl pattern popped out of no where. The hair you see now will change over time not with just curl pattern but with the care and love you give it.
What i think is interesting about what you say is that I too can understand your frustration to a degree. I think part of the problem is that there is too much talk about “curls” rather than “kinks” or how about natural hair in general. I also think that all hair is easier when it’s longer so having short natural hair can be tough no matter what the type. Bottom, line is you do have to embrace what your hair WILL do and forget what it WONT do. Be careful on the blogs because i have found that alot of people posting in teh 4a blog on naturally curly aren’t really 4’s at all. So just be careful.
I honestly think the responses here are an exact illustration of the problem Chin and myself face – there just aren’t that many 4c girls around. The responses I’m seeing here lend me to believe these people don’t have that hair type…why? because they are speaking as though a wealth of information exists out there for that hair type ..and it just doesn’t. I’ve complained about it time and time again, got outraged everytime I’d click a youtube video entitle 4c only to find out it’s closer to 4b or even a. It is very under represented online and I’m beginning to believe it’s because it’s just very uncommon to have the hair type (at least in it’s natural state anyway) I think many 4c’s stick to chemicals for this very reason.
I agree to some extent but think it’s more that when people say 4a, 4b or 4c, they all have different interpretations of what that looks like. I also think texture counts a lot in this conversation as from what I’ve seen of prettydimples she doesn’t have major shrinkage and though she identifies as 4a/b she looks completely 4a and has a completely different texture to other 4a/bs I’ve seen. It’s all subjective.
I wonder why more 4b and 4c girls don’t blog. Sometimes I think it’s because the dominant hair textures on blogs and boards are not 4b/c and 4c/b people don’t feel included or as though their hair will be ‘pretty’ enough to interest people. It’s confirmed by the popular bloggers, vloggers and Youtubers of the moment who tend to uniformly have curly, low shrinkage, shiny, silky or softer textures, extreme length etc traits that 4b/c often does not possess or in the case of length is harder to come by than it is for looser types.
Agree with both of u it’s harder to find women with 4c hair! Most of the blogs u see are run by women with a loser curl pattern. It can be discouraging.When and if my i get my hair to where i want it to be then YES IM GOING TO make a video out of it!
I used to be a member of naturallycurly and most of the women on there identify as 4a but are more 3c/4a, 3c, some are 3b and some are 4a. None of their hair looks like my 4b hair. There is a 4b board there but it is incredibly inactive. The 4a board was always where people congregated regardless of hair type albeit that everyone there and I mean everyone has curls so everyone is on the 4a board more or less. Some have curls you could see from the moon. Most also have simple regimens with few products where the main focus is stylers. Naturally curly is definitely a curlcentric site with a very cliquey atmosphere. There are probably more supportive welcoming places on the web.
The letter writer may have more luck with nappturality or cnappymenow if it is still going. Those were the go to sites for 4b and 4cs. Even BGLH has great advice for those that need it.
CNappyMeNow is still going. There is also Nappturology 101 (http://nappyme.wordpress.com/), which is written by the same lady who founded CNappyMeNow (http://www.cnappymenow.com/), the forum. The great thing about the forum is that a lot of members there have pretty amazing Fotki’s, and I love to look at their pictures and creativity. Here are two examples:
http://public.fotki.com/Mooks-hair/
http://public.fotki.com/EbonyPrincessH/
And if you are loc-obsessed: http://kalia-dewdrop.blogspot.com/
Hope that helps! 🙂 As a 4a/4b myself I definitely know how you’re feeling in this situation.
Thank you. Will check this out.
Thanks for the shout out BGLH! Type 4, fine to medium density hair in the house right here! I luv BGLH and have been an avid reader since my transitioning to natural days. Thanks again. 😀 I agree with what a lot of the other ladies are saying. At the end of the day even with all these fabulous resources available to us now, we still have to figure everything out for ourselves. Part of the journey is trying things till you crack the code. I feel that there are many type 4 blogs out there, you just may have to hunt for them a little more.
i dunno. reading this seems like it’s more a mental/psychological and emotional issue than actual hair issues. I’m a type 4 and I get ideas from people with all kinds of hair types, including blue eyed blondes with dead straight hair. I don’t buy this thing about I need to find my exact hair twin on the interwebs before i can finally conquer my hair. That said, there are loads of type 4s on youtube, fotki and blogging, although I must say it seems like there is a tendency in the natural community to call type 4s something else when their hair is long and healthy. slight side-eye. lol.
It seems like you are having trouble embracing what grows out of your scalp. If you put out negativity and are actively thinking thoughts like “ugh my hair is bad, untameable, the worse hair type to manage out there” is it at all surprising that your hair care has become unbearable? It is either you accept what comes out your head and come to terms with the fact that you won’t look like anybody else or relax, weave it up or whatever cuz at the end of the day it’s just hair and you should not be enduring a miserable existence because of it.
If you are committed to staying natural however, I assure you trial and error will eventually make the process easier. Just get your mind in a positive place and take the time to get to love and appreciate YOU. No ‘guru’ or hair twin is going to do that for you.
as far as the hair is concerned, this is a breakdown of what works for my type 4 hair
http://mznappytrini.blogspot.com/2010/08/question-from-apples-hair-growth.html
http://mznappytrini.blogspot.com/search/label/My%20Regimen
I do believe this one set of comments has effectively dispelled the notion that having 4b hair is somehow a hair death sentence. If, after reading all these encouraging comments, someone STILL thinks that way, then they have some kinks in their brain that need removing. PERIOD.
It’s funny, I feel like there are TONS of 4a/b blogs. Almost everyone I follow is in that category including myself (4a, thin AND fine strands). It takes time to learn how to take care of your hair. 4a/b takes the longest because until pretty recently there wasn’t anyone to say “this is what you do, when you do it and how you do it.” It doesn’t help that there is a good chance everyone around you will be making it harder since they tell you that you “look a mess” or nothing equally unpleasant
In terms of getting advice, NaturallyCurly’s 4a board is the most active on the site. And it’s free. Most bloggers and vloggers are more than happy to answer questions and if you don’t get a response from one, there are thousands ready and willing to help.
Alice
Alice in Nappyland
Maybe wearing the braids for so long made you unaware of how you should deal with your hair.
I haven’t had the time to read through the comments so forgive me for backtracking. I feel the exact same way as Chinyelu. Time and time again I come across great blogs with extraordinary success stories but I find that these stories are often based on hair textures other than type 4. But you should take a look at:
http://www.darkerthanbrown.com/
I’ve recently come across her blog and can tell you I really enjoy it. She documents her journey of trying to achieve healthy long 4b/c hair. I find it really refreshing because my hair is very similar in texture and her regimen targets problems that I often encounter with my hair texture. The blog is a bit new but very helpful, so check it out when out ever get the chance.
IMO, I think people make 4b hair harder than it seems. Of course its going to be hard if youre trying to do the same thing that other types are doing. 4b hair thrives in protective styles, so why constantly try to wear in a washngo state?… Everything isnt for everybody. Im satisfied with that. Instead of looking at what you believe is “sooo badd” about your hair type, focus on the positives(this is for any hair type from 1a-4z, because there is someone in every hair type that hates something about their hair).
Lets look at a few positives about a few textures in two different scenarios.
ex. “My 4b hair doesnt have curls!”
Positive- By the lack of definition in 4b hair, it makes it a playground for making many beauitful styles. Why?.. Due to the lack of definition , 4b hair can be molded into anything making it the most versatile texture ever.
ex.”I cant make two strand twists with my 2a hair!
Positive- So what if you cant make 2 strand twists?.. your hair type can be easily made into a beautiful rollerset or buns without barely any tension or extra steps before hand (ex. stretching the hair).
See?.. Now how beautiful is that?
Write down the list of “negatives” that you find in your hair and counteract that with a positive(this can be hard, but is very achieveable). Ive done this, it was easy for me because I had a plan in the beginning to learn about my hair type.. whatever it was going to be, and eaxamine my hair. Learn its limits and the amazing things that it can do at the same time.
ex. I learn that I have fine – medium fine hair. Which means that I cant wear washngos or comb it and denman brush it. and you know what?.. I AM FINE WITH IT. becuase I now know that protective styles are my friends. and by my hair being a silky fine texture, it allows me to be able to push my hair back without gel.
ex #2. MY HAIR HATES HUMECTANTS. YES you heard right! IT HATES HUMECTANTS. I believe im probaly the only natural that cannot use ANY humectants.. no matter what the season is. It reaks havoc on my hair. So you know what I use?.. Products with plenty of fatty acids and emolients. This is an upside for me because I know now that my hair can thrive because I know what works and I also save money and time on products, because only a FEW products have only fatty acids and no humectants. For ex., cocoa butter is my BF.
By learning this about my natural hair now, it showed me why my texlaxed hair didnt thrive as much, WHICH I thought was a cool upside and a blessing in disguise for me sent from God, becuase if I hadnt decided to change my mind about getting my hair texlaxed one more time, I would still be fighting to retain today. I used products with a thousand humectants and I have fine-medium fine hair, which struck a light in me in why I couldnt retain alot length, I HAVE TO have my hair natural because I would not retain length if I dont. (and I love that Im BEING held against my will with being natural hair. PUT THE CUFFS ON ME TWO STRAND TWISTS AND SHRINKAGE, TAKE ME AWAY!)
So in the end, you have to learn your hair and accept all that comes with it, and work around your hair type. Don’t force something upon your hair what someone else can do, because you know what?.. DENIAL is going to be your downfall. And your hair will retaliate. You have to live with how your hair is, and if you cant live with that, you might as well either do a chemical treatment on it or hide it under wigs,weaves, and extensions forever.
That’s funny, with the exception of taren916 all of the blogs & vlogs I’m subscribed to all have 4 hair types.
One of my new favorites is Naptural85 in addition to kimmaytube, MoptopMaven and msvaughn
If i were you I’d stick to this blog! Although Leila rarely talks about herself I believe she has 4A hair. This site very often features style icons with 4 hair types and also introduced me to all of the youtubers that I watch. She also post on topics maintenance, styles and confidence.
Which brings me to my next point. DO NOT COMPARE YOUR HAIR TO ANYONE ELSE. This will bring you nothing but heartache. As another commenter said most bloggers will not post bad pictures or styles gone wrong. Even if it happens more often than not, you only see the good side. Second, you’ve been looking at other peoples natural hair for so long you expect yours to look similar instead of accepting your own hair. You are setting unrealistic expectations for yourself. Third, 4A/B IS NOT “the toughest type of hair to deal with.” The products or styling may be slightly different than other curlies however it is definitely not any tougher than the next. Once you learn your hair and what works for you it will become easier than when your hair was relaxed.
Lastly, be patient, learn to love your hair
http://cocoandcreme.com/2010/08/cybersalon-the-top-10-youtube-channels-that-may-change-the-game-and-your-hair-forever/
Yep, I feel ya, it appeared as though all of the blogs and yt channels that I was subscribed to the ladies had long, big 3ab hair, there was very little representation for my hair type. I relaxed in April and changed my subscriptions. Games over.
On this site I see more 4s than other types. Nappturality focuses on kinkier hair. Naturallycurly’s Type 4 boards are the most active and one can always find helpful people there. All you have to do is search kinky hair or type 4 on youtube to find dozens upon dozens of tutorials, product reviews and tips. I’m just not sure where one could be looking to say that information isn’t available to us type 4s, maybe you just need to look harder.
As for feeling ugly with your natural hair, only you can change that perception. Hair isn’t the only part of beauty, even if you had the hair you want, you’d still need to teach yourself to value every part of you in order to feel beautiful. My suggestion (besides learning more about your hair and what works for you just like many other ladies have said and remembering that these hari gurus have already worked that out for themselves so if course it looks easy- it is!) would be to take control of the media you expose yourself to. Pay close attention of how the tv shows, magazines and movies you take in affect your views about your own beauty and cut out the ones you find negatively impacting you.
Re: your last sentence. It’s better that people vent and receive good tips like she has here or at least know she is not alone. I’d prefer people to quit the scolding motherly tongue which says put up or shut up and try offering some support/advice. Maybe I’m an optimist.
I’d say the last sentence is in response to what her perceived issue is…not so much that she doesn’t know what to do with her hair, but rather, she doesn’t see the hair that she thinks dominates the online natural hair scene.
She’s comparing herself to people who don’t look like her and she’s disappointed that she doesn’t measure up, or at least, that is the impression I get.
So people advising her on how to care for her hair isn’t going to fix things if her REAL issue is that she doesn’t have the big, long, flowing hair that she thinks the popular bloggers have.
Someone summed it up nicely that it’s impossible to send someone a dose of feel good b/c it doesn’t change how she feels about what is growing from her scalp.
This is all speculation on my part, and clearly we’ve all read her question in a different way.
“The ‘woe is me’ mindset about natural curly/coily hair really needs to stop, it’s getting old. Work with what you have, appreciate it for what it is and be happy!”
+1
c’mon now, it is not a defeatist or “woe is me” mindset that she is expressing, this is just how she and many others feel and feelings are REAL!
Feelings and perceptions are real, but if nobody ever calls you to question the WHY many people won’t and will continue to make negative attributions towards hair when it’s really a perception problem in SOME cases. As other posters mentioned, it’s ok to vent with the hopes of receiving support. However, since when is asking someone to take an honest look at her perceptions of her hair unsupportive?
It can actually be a very positive and liberating thing because a perception can be changed for FREE, without a magic technique, lotion, potion, product, or chemical unlike a hair texture.
Many naturals regardless of type have to deal with a changing aesthetic and time commitment to hair care that is new and sometimes understandably frustrating but that has next to nothing to do with having “difficult” hair (and how are we defining easier hair btw?).
If you’re relying on bloggers/youtubers to help guide you thru your own personal hair journey you will set yourself up for disappointment, they’re only sharing what works for *them*, it’s not a guarantee that it will work for *you*, so you really should take their advice with a grain of salt. You’re the only one that will know exactly what your hair likes/dislikes, it make take some time for you to figure that out, but as someone already mentioned it really seems that you’re not as comfortable/confident with your natural hair, it’s really not about bloggers/youtubers with 4a/4b hair coz there are plenty of them if you search hard enough, they can serve as ’hair inspirations’ that’s about it. Once you learn to accept your hair for what it is, you will then see the beauty of it, and once you learn what your hair likes/dislikes you will then see that it’s not so ‘hard’ to take care of. Taking care of natural curly/coily hair is only has ‘hard’ as you make it.
The ‘woe is me’ mindset about natural curly/coily hair really needs to stop, it’s getting old. Work with what you have, appreciate it for what it is and be happy!
You know, a lot of people swear by the internet but it seems that like with so many other things, people are attempting to measure themselves against standards that they may not attain.
I think we’ve just seen several ladies complaining about the hair that they have, and it just screams that they were HOPING to have hair like someone else that they’ve seen.
Unless you’re talking about people who don’t have three heads of hair, I’m not sure that being bombarded by more images of what she is not will be that helpful to her.
Yikes, touchy subject!
To be honest I know exactly how you feel, the first time I went natural and BCed, I thought my hair would come out looking like Kelis’ and when it didn’t, I braided up for a yr and then relaxed.
Fast forward 5 years and thanks to Youtube and various blogs, I decided to take the plunge again and I have not regretted it since! First thing you need to do is just accept your hair. From the sounds of it, you seem to want it to behave in a way that is not natural to type 4 hair, which makes it “difficult” for you. Start to study and learn your hair, find out what your hair likes and what it doesn’t. Its mostly trial and error to be fair. Here are a few tips:
Don’t comb your hair unless it is wet.
Detangle with conditioner in your hair.
DC regularly to give moisture and softness.
Moisturise and seal your ends.
Detangle with a wide tooth comb and always start from the tips.
Stay away from heat as much as possible.
Become friends with bobby pins, they’re amazing.
Become best friends with a silk pillow case or scarf at night time.
Make time for your hair, once you develop a regimen and routine, it’ll be a lot quicker and basically second nature to style your hair.
Inspirational bloggers for me
– BGLH (after reading this blog I decided to take the plunge for the second time)
– Curly Nikki (check out the type 4 section)
– Keetaray of its not just hair
– Chai of Back to Curly
– K is for Kinky
– Natural Belle
To be honest, there are soooooooo many I can’t list them all, and I’m one of those people that practices discrimnation against bloggers that don’t have my hair type (no offense but if we’re not the same hair type, you can’t help me! lol)
Youtube
My fave youtuber – http://www.youtube.com/user/ForeseeNatural
Andrea Pippins (of Fly blog) – vids on twistout fro and pin up twists.
But most importantly as the ladies above pointed out, learn your hair. Even if you meet your hair twin who styles her hair in a wonderful way, she can’t do YOUR hair everyday for you. You have to learn yourself. I had to, the ladies on this site had to, and our mothers and grandmothers and ancestors had to before and without the aid of the internet.
I don’t mean to be harsh but you have to make a decision now – either accept your hair as it is, or relax (or texlax) it and be happy. Cos right now, you’re not, and you won’t be until you make one of the above decisions.
I’ve been natural for 2 1/2 years now, and I can understand where you are coming from. My hair is mostly 4b (although, I have some 4a around my crown) and I transitioned with kinky twists. When I took them out, I was happy because my hair was sooooo long, but I was also kind of upset because my hair seemed so much more difficult to manage than I remembered it being when I was a kid. Part of the reason for that was that my hair has actually changed texture just a little bit since then, but also, I was trying to work with my hair the way everyone told me I should. A few things that I did at the beginning that I don’t do anymore:
1. I tried long term protective styling. I would do mini twists an leave them in for a month or so. Not only did this style not look all that great on me, but I lost SO MUCH HAIR detangling every time I took my hair down. So after a couple of months, I stopped doing this.
2. I only used expensive or “ethnic” conditioners. Everyone told me that flimsy little drugstore conditioners would make my hair fall out, so I avoided them. Then one day, on impulse, I bought a $3 bottle of Herbal Essences Hello Hyrdation and found that it was, by far, THE BEST DETANGLING CONDITIONER I HAVE EVER USED. I started using Garnier Fructis sleek and shine leave in conditioner shortly after, and my hair has been growing like weeds. I’m not saying that these conditioners will definitely work for you, but I am saying that you shouldn’t knock something until you try it, and if something that works for everyone else isn’t working for you, then you should stop using it.
3. Speaking of conditioner, I thought that rinse out conditioners absolutely had to be rinsed out. Not true. Now I use a little HEHH as a leave in (after I have rinsed out my first application). It makes my hair so much easier to style.
4. I used to detangle with a comb. I thought that just because it was a wide tooth comb, it wouldn’t rip out my hair. I had to learn the hard way how wrong I was. Now that I have a conditioner that detangles my hair so easily, I finger detangle while my hair is soaking wet and loaded up with conditioner. It takes me like 5 minutes to detangle now.
5. I used to style my hair while dry…not really because anyone told me to, but because it looked so long and streched out and soft when I did a dry twist out. Not anymore. I style my hair into 21 three strand twists when my hair is still wet, and then I braid up every three twists for maximum stretch. I let it dry overnight, and I take it all down the next day. The style takes me about a hour to do, and I only do it once a week. 🙂
6. I used to do a wash-n-go every other day, because I was in love with my puff. Now, I’ve stopped that because of how my hair would dry out and I would end up with a million single strand knots after one day. Now I only indulge in a wash-n-go about once a month, and then only after I have loaded my hair down with conditoner and olive oil to seal in moisture.
That all sounds like a lot, lol, but to be real, my hair is now way easier and much less expensive to style now than it was when I had a perm, extensions, etc. I think people tell us that 4b hair is difficult, and so we believe them and get frustrated with our hair, when in reality, I spend much less time on my hair than even my straight haired friends. All you need to do is find the right styling method for yourself, and the right products with which to condition and seal, and you’ll be golden. Don’t give up!!!! Years from now, you’ll be glad you stuck with it. 🙂
PS: I know this was long, but I had to add one thing– ACV rinses are God’s gift to our hair. I do a rinse once a week between my shampoo and conditioner, and it’s the difference between good hair and GREAT hair for me.
Wow, thank you for this. I relate to much of it. HE HH has been my go-to conditioner for years, and I discovered the greatness of GF Sleek and Shine when I did my most recent BC last year. I recently tried HE Totally Twisted and while it didn’t do much for me as a rinse-out conditioner, it actually works pretty well as a leave-in, especially with a little bit of oil added. I don’t believe these are making my hair grow faster, though.
Also, except for my pick, which I use to lift my roots only, my combs are gathering dust in my closet, lol. I use the Tangle Teezer but I only use it once every other week on lightly dampened hair. The rest of the time it’s finger city.
I am still doing WNGs for the most part and so far (to my shock) it’s working for me. I just try to keep up with finger-detangling but at the same time I’m not spending extra time trying to get rid of every single tangle every time. I do get SSKs but not a lot and I refuse to obsess over every one.
Finally, your comment reminds me that I haven’t done an ACV rinse in a LONG time. I think I might have to start doing those again…!
As a fellow Nigerian with type 4a/b/z hair lol, I kinda of get where you are coming from but completely disagree about there not being enough websites with our type of hair. Almost all, if not every blog on natural hair I have been to focuses on type 4 hair. Honestly you just have to embrace your hair and learn your hair. Because even if today I made a blog dedicated to all the stuff that works for my hair which sounds similar to yours, it might not even work one bit. Your hair is honestly as difficult as you want it to be. Recently I practically destroyed months of hard earned growth because of finals. I neglected my hair by not twisting it up every night. I honestly had no time for that, I did about 72 plus hours no sleep.(I am an animation major, I work long hours.) During finals week I wore my hair out in a fro, I was supposed to get it done( mini twisted) by a professional but she had cancelled. In frustration and anger I let my hair stay in a fro, I moisturized and sealed every day so I thought I was ok. After I turned in everything I washed my hair. Mind you I always do an oil prepoo so I can get any kinks out, unfortunately I was out of olive oil. So I used the little bit left, kept my hair under a plastic cap, waited a while, but there just wasn’t enough. I decided to put conditioner instead. Waited a while, went to wash my hair and, ALL HELL WENT LOOSE! I lost most of my hair to tangles, knots you name it. I had knots upon knots upon knots upon knots. They were huge I stayed in the bathroom for five hours! I was so frustrated, but I knew I should not have taken it out on my hair because it was honestly my fault. What I learned from this is to always have a ready supply of olive oil, and to always keep my hair from knotting on itself but gently twisting out styles every night. I lost quite a bit of growth because of this, I cut out most of the knots that were impossible to get out. If this had been the beginning of my journey I would have cried, but I just moved on and knew that my hair is not always that difficult to detangle. Yeah I get quite a bit of the dreaded single strand knots, but I would have rather had that, than the big balls of knots I had in my hair. Also everything that JC of the natural haven said is so right. I have seen the beautiful potential of my hair and love it wholeheartedly. I unfortunately let stress and school life get the best of me. Normally I take the take to take care of my hair like a cashmere sweater but unfortunately not this time. You can do it Chinyelu! Show that beautiful Nigerian pride all the way!
I had the cutest short toni braxton / halle berry hairstyle for 12 years!! Cutest style ever thanks to a bi weekly perm! I decided to go back to my natural hair and used micro braids and sew ins to grow it out over a 2 year period! I was also horrified when I took out my sew in! I never know I had so much hair and I didn’t know how to style it in its natural state! I found a salon in my area that catered to natural hair. I have a 4a/4b texture as well. I was at a loss! My stylist was good with helping me figure it all out! I also turned to youtube and this website! Lots of trial and error is the key! You have to find which method works well for you! You are doing yourself a dis-service by wearing braids and weaves for an extended period of time! That was the one lession I took away from my experience. Those styles should be used as short term protective styles!
I think this is the problem with hairtyping. None of the authors of blogs/vlogs mentioned actually have my type of hair (very coily, always dry, extreme shrinkage). Typing is kind of like buying foundation loads of light colors and then one dark colour for all of the rest of us that have cottony African hair. I say the best bet is learn as much as you can from these resources but keep in mind that they may not represent your hair or your lifestyle. I wore wigs for a while and am now gently texlaxed. I am moving towards being completely natural in my own time. Decide what makes you feel like you look your best and makes you feel comfortable with your hair and work in increaments towards gaining your own natural hair confidence.
Well honestly I thought that when I go natural I would have “mixed hair” – you know what I mean, hair that I can use Mixed chicks products and it would be curly and frizz free!! so imargine my suprise when I realized that I woukld not have defined curls and if I want the curly look – I’ll have to do twist outs. I have 4c hair so its supper frizzy and wool like but I’ve come to accept it and I love it.
I too, noticed that most bloggers have “nice” hair – not like my frizzy hair so it was scary for me but I am learing every day!!
I have 4b thin hair as well. It was badly broken so after wearing weaves for about 3 years, it’s long enough for me to deal with.
I think my biggest whoa has been styling for my corporate & social life. Sometimes it’s hard to find things that will work. My hair is too thin to rock two strand twists and the likes. I’ve actually found wearing different pinned updo’s has been my savior. It keeps my hands out of my hair and makes me look professional. Updos also transition into evening activities with a few nice accessories.
Also, my regimen I’m still experimenting with. I find that my hair likes to be treated with a bit of coconut before my weekly cowash. My hair also adores oil based products over water based ones. I use Carol’s daughter hair balm (just a bit) to give my hair instant shine. If it’s time to take down a pinup, I’ll usually use a little shea butter and sleep on 5 or 6 big twists.
As far as blogs, they can only help you so much. I visit for inspiration, support, and advice. And the biggest bit of advice I’ve gotten from all of them is learn your own head of hair. Just b/c I’m 4b and your hair is 4b doesn’t mean our hair will respond identically to the the same products and styling. My first week I was natural with my hair out, I thought I’d found the jackpot on kimmaytube and her methods just didn’t work for me. She’s an inspiration and she knows what works on her hair, but after a month I had to try something else. Listen to you hair. It’ll let you know exactly what to do.
Chinyelu, I feel your pain, it’s not an easy road and thanks for posting this topic for discussion BGLH.
I really love my hair but sometimes I feel like BCing because care and maintenance was easier then (now its about 10 inches long stretched out). I’ve had the same struggles with my type 4 hair as well as it go longer but after so many SSK, several tangle wars and weeks of frustration ending in neglect, I have finally come to terms with the fact that just because one technique, product, tool or style works for another type 4, it doesn’t necessarily mean it will work for me. I learned to listen to my hair the hard way! The hard part is re-educating yourself to care for your hair.
BTW, I just discovered the BESTEST detangling, leave-in concoction for my hair is mixing equal amounts of Knot Today mixed with Shea Moisture Coconut Hibiscus leave-in condish, plus water and olive/jojoba oil spray. Knot today on its own only worked for 5 mins on my hair and then it was back to tangles and Kim’s recipe left my hair feeling funny. My hair also tends to start locing when in twists and I spray with water so I can’t leave them in for longer than two weeks.Braids work much better anyway even though I love the look of twists.
This spring/summer I am keeping my regimen Simple but very consistent is back to shampoo in sections, condition, finger comb(no more denman detangling no matter what anyone says), my leave-in, twist/braid, twist/braid-out, back to shampoo.. I will also be wearing alot more scarves, inspired and best illustrated by MsVcharles on youtube… and in the colder months will consist of Yarn Braids.
“I just discovered the BESTEST detangling, leave-in concoction for my hair is mixing equal amounts of Knot Today mixed with Shea Moisture Coconut Hibiscus leave-in condish, plus water and olive/jojoba oil spray.”
I ain’t trying to josh ya but I literally discovered TODAY that my hair loves this combo too!! I randomly threw them together out of desperation! I haven’t tried it with olive oil but I was planning to do so the next wash. It’s the first time my hair stays moisturized and soft and tangle free….and I also had problems with KKCC moisturizing my hair at first and then leaving it dry.
This is cool! I’m going to be stalking your comments from now on! Yahaa!! 8D
Have u seen blakizbeautyful or ashiek1119? I might have misspelled their names.. I have learned some styles from them and believe me growing up I was a ponytail only girl! I’m going to do a tuck and roll updo today
These two YouTubers are awesome! blakizbeautyfu has an awesome detailed regimen video that newbies might find helpful.
I have type 4 hair. It is not the “toughest type of hair to deal with”. If I thought or believed that I wouldn’t get anywhere with learning how to take care of my hair. It’s a self-defeating attitude to have and not one conducive to learning to care for your hair.
I’ve been natural a little over 2 years. I started my journey from a BC knowing nothing about my natural texture or haircare in general. I did research online (blogs and YouTube) about natural haircare and dove straight into the trial-and-error of haircare and hairstyling. I kept a hair journal which helped simplify the process. Here’s some info on how to start one: (http://littlegoldenlamb.net/2009/08/28/getting-it-down-on-paper-keeping-a-hair-journal-tips-ideas-how-to-get-started/).
My advice is…seek out those with hair similar to yours (blogs, forms, YouTube, in real life, etc), try out different techniques and products (within reason), don’t compare your hair to others, fake the confidence till you make it.
There is tons of info out there about caring for type 4 natural hair. You just have to commit to finding it.
This is almost like reading myself write this 3 years ago. Here are some things that have helped me…
1. Get over how most bloggers or vloggers hair looks. That’s not how our hair is going to look. As soon as you can deal with that, you will be able to watch there vids and read the blogs and know how it can help you, and how you can attribute that advice to your hair.
2. Understand that your hair will ‘fro more than it curls on most days. Once you get this concept, and you learn how to approach doing your hair and understanding some things it might require, it will make styling, and living with your hair so much easier.
3. Spend time playing with your hair and trying out different routines. That is really the only way you are going to find out what you like. Does your hair respond better to wet or dry styling. Do you blow your hair out before styling. Does your hair like wet or creamy products? Does you hair like oils or butters more? These are all things that you have to figure out.
I’m one of the blogs referenced above, and while I don’t have a huge flock or following, it very well probably is because of the following:
1. My hair type is 4b, and it is not long – I just reached shoulder length in January (ppl those who have reached things they aspire to – like long hair). *I’ve also NEVER had long hair.
2. I keep it real, I will complain, and post failed pics (for example I did a straw set in 2009, and a bantu knot out – both EPIC FAILS!!!)
3. I don’t do any product reviews – products don’t really seem to make a big difference for my hair
4. I probably don’t have hair that people envy or wish they had. I think that is honestly why there is a lack of true type 4 hair blogs.
I totally hear you because, while kimmaytube, naptural85 and African Export are type 4 – their hair isn’t ANYTHING LIKE MINE!!! There is a true difference between 4a and 4b to me, and I do agree there aren’t a lot of true 4b long-haired mavens. Sera2544 (YT) is one for sure, Jc is one, but she focuses on hair & science. I do believe Cipriana (Urbanbushbabes) may also fall into the 4b category, but I haven’t seen enough pics to co-sign that her hair is what I would consider to be 4b.
Long story short – 4b hair is frustrating, anyone who is 4b with long hair swears by protective styling and typically doesn’t focus on products. 4b hair seems to be about learning to manage it, which is an individual experience. There are no products to help you define a curl, because you don’t have one. There is no tool that makes detangling easier because your kinks are so intertwined that NOTHING REALLY helps. It just what it is.
FYI – I recently decided to loc my hair because as a 4b, it was just too much as a free-strand for my life right now. LOL, but I still love and respect the sistas who are ’bout it!
I love your blog, and let me just say, you’re one of the few bloggers that I perceive to be genuine, honest, and truly desirous of helping other naturals. It seems to me like most people want to follow the bloggers who have amazing heads of thick, flowing natural hair who never seem to have a bad hair day and seem to have all the “answers.” It’s great to be inspired by them, but you really have to sit down and learn YOUR hair at some point.
Monique and Beth you are bringing the truth here!
+1
So true! It is about learning how to deal with it rather than products. I mean, some do work better than others but it is definitely moreso about ‘learning to manage’ it.
I think many people don’t understand that 4b hair appears looser when it is longer. I think that’s why some people doubt that someone like Cipriana is 4b (despite the fact that she self identifies as 4b and knows more about her hair than anyone else.)
Thank you Dolores. I find it funny and disappointing at the same time when a black woman claims her hair is 4b-c and because of the longer length and health of the hair some people want to argue the true texture of my hair. I think I feel disappointed because I feel we are supposed to be a community that uplifts each other and try to dispel the myth that 4 range hair can’t grow or what it is supposed to look like. I don’t feel anger towards the non-believers because maybe pictures are deceiving but for those who have disbelief if you go to my UrbanBushBabe youtube channel you might be able to have a better view 🙂 After all a view is still a personal opinion, lol but I do know my own hair.
I doubt that Cipriana is 4b ONLY BECAUSE I haven’t seen enough pictures of her texture…I’ve seen pics of her hair w/ twists – and her hair is GORGEOUS! However this doesn’t let me know enough about her texture for me to co-sign. It has nothing to do with length – Sera’s hair is UBER long, and I totally think she has 4b hair. I hope this clears things up 🙂 I just know how different our hair can look in twists vs. free strand vs. wet.
Well first Monique, Solfull Sista just checked out your blog and congratulations on your beautiful little bundle of joy that is on the way. How someone views another person’s hair at the end of the day is personal opinion as well as doubt. Good point, yes free form while wet pictures would dispel the confusion. I definitely think that is part of the beauty of 4 range hair is the versatility in look so I see it as a blessing. Thank you for the hair compliment you have beautiful hair as well 🙂
Thank you for this. As a fellow 4b transitioning to natural (1+ years now) I follow and love your blog.
Thank you Bitty Boss, your support means so much :DDD
Just looked at your blog for the first time and… I love your hair! It is ideally how I would want mine to look, seriously. I also like your wiwt-like take on clothing 🙂
Thank you so much:) If you have any questions feel free to email me.
I agree with everything you said and your blog Monique is fabulous because you do not just post the good results…you are real!
I also agree with you that people like kimmaytube, naptural 85 and African export, curly chronicles while all are type 4, their hair has massive massive curls in comparison to my hair. Did I say massive!
My hair is much more similar to people like
You – (Monique!)
Sera25- (above)
Mwedzi – http://public.fotki.com/mwedzi/2011/jan-jun/
Loo – http://members.fotki.com/loolalooh/
Little B from Happy Girl Hair – http://www.happygirlhair.com/2011/04/tiny-two-strand-twists.html
Lina 40- http://public.fotki.com/okorolina40
Princess Dani – http://members.fotki.com/PrinCess-Dani/
The curl size tiny tiny. The shrinkage is huge! However even in this group there are variations. Mwedzi has thick strands and hardly gets split ends while my hair will break with the slightest mistreatement.
I also agree that type 4 hair is best assessed in free and wet state. In truth a type 3 can actually look like type 4 if you brush it dry.
However I do think hair typing is over hyped. I think people can type themselves as they wish. It is up to the reader to have some sense and make a judgement about whether that person’s hair behaves like yours does. It is also more important to listen to your own hair. People have perfected their individual routines, it does not mean it will work for you.
Can I saw I love your clothes…just looked at 30 for 30. Very very nice style!! Love it! It takes a special eye to be able to piece together things that well.
@ Beth & AnonCA – thank you ladies!
I can identify with chinleyu. My hair is fine, not curly enough to curl and look (to my standard) good in a style, not ‘kinky enough’ to stay in a style, not thick enough to to be luscious and have volume. It’s beyond frustrating. Doing a twist out? Joke. By the time I’m done I look like I NOW have to do my hair. I’ve read so many blogs/watched so many videos but at the end of it all, my hair just does not respond to the styles and products recommended. All of this to say Chinleyu, I feel you, I certainly empathise, but the only solution is, as the other ladies said, try until something works.
I like what Gully said.
In the end, no one else can send you a package of “feel good”; changing your personal perception of your hair comes with time and comes from within.
After working *consistently* with your hair over time to find a good balance of moisturizing treatments and care techniques, you will likely feel better about your hair. I have the hair type you’re talking about (pen-spring and smaller coils) and have been told that I have “good hair” — which, honestly, I think was said b/c it looks well-cared for.
In short, as you learn to take care of your hair it’s likely that you will view it as less of a “problem” and more of something beautiful that requires unique care.
As for the learning part…yeah, that’s the hard part. Number one most important thing I would say is technique trumps product. *How* you handle your hair (the actual mechanics of combing — or not — and manipulation) is THE KEY. Deciding whether to manipulate your hair wet, damp, or dry…in sections or not…twist, braid, or neither…all these things are the most important part IMO. You learn this most effectively by trial and error. Over time you handle your hair often enough to know when it feels nice or not, and reading blog posts that talk about moisture and porisity may help to some degree (moisture and porisity issues have less to do with coil texture and more to do with other factors). With products, start w/ the inexpensive stuff and move along from there.
Sorry this is so long. I struggled for many years w/o the ‘net and after the hair sites came along I struggled through all the info and misinfo. The best thing I ever did was take everything with a grain of salt while not dismissing information out of hand just b/c someone’s hair looked different from mine. I can only expect my hair to look like MY hair, but what someone else says about THEIR hair may help me maintain moisture or detangle in an easier way. In other words, take what others say and try to use it to make your hair look its best — not look like someone else’s hair.
Good luck and I wish you all the best 🙂
I personally have a mix of 3c and 4a hair that is in no way easy to manage. We all have our own list of difficulties. I have learned tips from women with a variety of hair types from 3a to 4b. There are a lot of you tube vloggers with 4 hair. Here’s a list of a few who have lots of videos of different things from hairstyles to product reviews.
PRETTYDIMPLES01
tonidaley80
xGOLDn
glamazini
AFRICANEXPORT
Beautifulbrwnbabydol
Kimmaytube
I’ve been natural a number of years but always wore weaves. Last year was the first year i wore my own 4a/b hair out and I’ve been weave free for a year. Learning how to manage, style and care for natural hair is trying at times. I’ve notice the more I learn about my hair type, ingredients and techniques managing my hair has become a lot easier. I think it’s safe to say that all naturals get to a point of frustration. But you have to keep going. Although this is not a blog, I’ve learned a lot from
http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/
I love my type 4 hair and I actually think its the most beautiful, I may be biased :). She can be frustrating but if you treat her right and keep her moist and protected , you have something envious on your hands, well on top of your head.
I don’t think anyones hair is “easy to manage”. This is a true journey.. You really have to pay attention to your hair. I def have 4 a/4b hair-13 plus inches of it..So I cana understand your frustration. I don’t agree that there is a lack of popular blogs..Kimmay tube, African Import (when she does actual hair vids) Cytharif (I think that is her name)…Are some of the ones I completely enjoy and have learned from.
I agree with you…it’s not easier if you hair is curlier. Goodness, it’s certainly not easier if it is longer and thicker. You’re talking hours of time. It can be a nightmarishly long process to get finished.
I think that while the question was posed in terms of finding comparisons, I personally think that where some people stumble is that they see people with lots of hair, regardless of hair type, and they hope to find that.
Rustic Beauty has very kinky, pretty, long and thick hair, so I don’t see how anyone could claim that she doesn’t represent the more coily end of the hair spectrum. But to point out, don’t tell me that a head of that much hair that is that tightly coiled is EASY to do. Are you seriously suggesting that? And I personally don’t think you’d be complaining if you had her long hair. That’s my guess.
I think that really when people say that they have “hard” hair, they are probably upset that they don’t have longer or thicker hair, or that it seems to grow up more slowly than the people that they watch on You Tube.
The women mentioned don’t have curly hair at all. And they probably looked like you at some point in their journeys. What you might have to let go of is the notion that you’ll someday have the giant mane of hair. Your finished product may always be shorter and thinner than the people you are comparing yourself to.
You have to learn to love the skin, hair, body, that you are in. You won’t ever be anyone else. And no blog is going to help you find that. (but I hope you can find style idea somewhere).
Here’s another analogy. If I see Halle Berry rocking some dress on the runway and it’s awesome and I find it at put it on, it will NEVER look the same. So I can either be sad that I don’t have her body and that I don’t see people in the media with my body, or I can try to make the body that I have look great and be grateful that I have it. I’m not saying that is easy, but it’s what I think you are experiencing.
I just think that when it’s hair, too many black women still are married to this idea that longer and more is better, and then get upset when they don’t find themselves in that category after months or years of trying.
And while people aren’t sending in their pictures with the questions, I tend to guess that the people complaining about their hair are upset that they don’t have more of it, although maybe they’d settle for having curlier hair if they could choose.
I ran across this Canadian You Tuber and I love her attitude about her hair…Toni Daley 80…she has fun with her hair and does lots of cool things with it, and uses pretty basic products. She just doesn’t seem to obsess over the things that a lot of people do-very refreshing.
I agree.
I think the frustration with Youtube videos is that when you are new, you have a TWA and the person that you’re watching is mid back length. Many bloggers and vloggers have been natural for years before they started their channels. No, you cant do the styles that they do, but the hair care should be helpful.
I suggeset BlackIZBeautiful for new 4b naturals. She has videos from BC to a BAA. Maybe you will find her relatable since she’s not 3 yrs into her journey
I can agree. It’s very difficult for 4 hair types because the inspiration is lacking. I watch youtube for days trying to figure out my hair. I give my hair my OWN me time to see what it likes. Yet one day it seems to be working, the next it comes up in fail.
My hair is not tamable nor does it do what I ask every time i do my hair. I don’t know what to do. In many instances, I’ve given up, wanting to cut it off. Many times I deal with it, but other times it’s frustrating.
I have to put oil in my hair and have it greasy instead of the oil and water being absorbed. Protective hairstyles don’t work for me. I’ve got thinning so randomly and I don’t know how to deal . . . it’s hard for us. Our hair is the hardest to manage and stick by because we have to give it so much attention and time due to its kinkiness.
yea i’m glad that it’s not just me who’s frustrated 🙁
last week i started taking out my individuals (braids) and was happy/annoyed with my hair. As I started to detangle and retwist my natural hair, I became increasingly frustrated with my 4a/b hair.
Hence the reason why I’m consdering to install locs/locks into my hair. It’s not that I don’t love my natural hair, it’s just after almost 1 year of being natural, it’s becoming a TASK to maintain my hair and less enjoyable. The thrill for curl definition is gone. Plus I definitely want to grow my hair out though not in a huge afro, simply because hair that is huge & overwhelming will completely swallow my face.
Anywhoo just because I’m considering locs doesn’t mean I don’t LOVE my loose natural hair, it just means I want something different/more than two-strand twists, bantu knots, and ‘fros. I’m a college student and don’t have $160 each month to spare for individuals. And don’t even get me started on purchasing products every couple months…haha!!
Maybe after locs I’ll revisit my loose 4a/b hair, but until then I’m giving myself a long and well-deserved break 🙂
Also, I’m tired of my mom always freaking out whenever I get ready to take out my braids and wear my loose hair. she always asks/nags me about what will I do next, lol. I think she secretly wants me to relax my hair, WHICH I WON’T. Hehe!
Ugh. I hate that “so what are you going to do with your hair now?” mess. Umm.. I’m gonna wear it! Some people just don’t get it.
I so now what you’re talking about. My mom has long, straight hair, without need of any relaxer, which she uses anyway. And my sister’s hair is beautiful, but she keeps relaxing it. They both HATE my natural hair. I have to deal with remarks like “What have you done to your hair again?” “That’s really ugly, put some extensions on at least.” And so on. They are really mean, but I know that they think they are trying to help me. Well, I struggle everyday with my hair, but still, I love it just the way it is. Some days I rock a style and feel amazing, others I just want to pull out my hair and cry, but hey, I made my choice!
Eboni
I have locks and I love them. You will save time on combing etc but locks still need time and care. Not sure how expensive they are to maintain in the salons though. My locks are palm-rolled and I usually wear them in a spiral set. What kind are you thinking of?
Hi Iam a 4b/c natural and let me tell you I had such a challenge when I first bc’ed … but as my hair grow longer I fell in love for me it was never about my texture it was about the length… Their so much people you can look towards nikkimae on youtube she also has a blog blackonyx77,kimmanytube,prettydimples,africianexport all these sistas have 4 type hair your never going to find someone who has the exact same hair as you but you can defintely find someone with something similar.. although I have thick hair so I can relate on the thiness.. but if there is a will there is a way also there is curlynikki.com which has people on their in the forumns section that you can follow that have 4 type hair to name a few funkyhairchic and lynnieluv are two people I have followed and asked questions about products and regimen so its out there you just have to research and if you not feeling your hair right now do like how I did I stuck my hair in a protective style for 5 months and read up on information so I would be prepared when I took it down moisture is verrrrrrrrrrryyy important for a 4 type hair deep conditioning and for most simply leaving out hair gives big results. Good Luck!
I have 4B/C hair that is dense but with fine thin, fragile strands…THIS is the hardest hair to have. I have decided that the only way i can retain length, keep it from getting too tangled and let it retain moisture is to PROTECT PROTECT PROTECT.
luckily, I spent the past two years HUNTING for a protective style that will fit my active and hectic life style. I do NOT have the time to detangle and rebraid my hair every week to two weeks. I simply have such tangly 4b/c hair that is soo fine, that detangling is both CHALLENGING and very very risky to my strands. If I am to retain length and keep healthy hair, I can NOT touch it so often. I found YARN BRAIDS! I only need to be in my hair every 5 weeks or so, they are protective and look beautiful. I hate most protective styles to be honest, so finding something that I did not have to do too often (I am busy and my hair loves to be left ALONE) has been a god sent for me.
I plan on wearing yarn braids religiously for the next year or so (till I reach shoulder length slightly stretched), and then into the future I will wear them about half of the time 5 weeks in, 5 weeks out.
My hair simply can not handle being manipulated…fine and VERY prone to tangling is a double wammy
just be careful when you wear braids for long periods of time and don’t allow your hair to get proper moisture and conditioning when you take the braids out the hair that has grown maybe be very dry and crunchy. plus depending on the type of hair you use that is just sitting with/on your natural hair not allowing it to breathe. our natural hair changes over time from getting relaxers and it needs time out to get back to natural. plus there are so many products on the market now you can surely find one or a combination of products to make your hair happy. i’m still trying to figure out the best techniques for nice day to day hair given the amount of time i have to spend on my hair but being natural for almost 12 years (part of that with locs) i can tell you learning to work with your hair and not keeping it tucked away behind weaves or braids is really one of the best things you can do for your hair.
I appreciate your comments. I have been natural for 5 years but have only been interested in growing it long for the past two. I have found amazing products that work GREAT on my hair. I have no problem retaining moisture when my hair is in protective styles. It is when I wear my hair out that I have issues. I plan on moisturizing, sealing, deep conditioning, etc while my hair is in the yarn braids. And yarn braids are KNOWN for helping the hair stay moisturized. The only thing I am worried about with them is that they may pull my hair. but people who have tried yarns braids say this is WAAAY less of a concern with yarn braids than with synthetic hair. I will also make sure not to put my hair in such small sections when I braid and I will not do it too tightly.
I feel you! My hair is supeeer fine too, tighly coiled and prone to breakage! And I get a looot of single strands knots. I don’t do protective styles because I can’t keep them more than a week. I know I should stop overmanipulating my hair but I managed to retain a decent length over a year , I just accepted my hair wouldn’t grow as fast as other people’s hair and that it would take a little more time and care.
well my frustration is that there’s a lack fine-haired naturals. I know there’s CurlyNikki but a lot of people assume their hair is coarse. But you should check out http://www.urbanbushbabes.com. There’s Cipriana who was featured on BGLH. She’s a 4B and her hair is 21 inches long!!! She gives good advice too. But I think the most important thing is to figure out what works for you. I’ve spent hundreds of hours on blogs and youtube videos, looking for techniques and products other naturals used. And it didn’t work out for me. That’s only when I started trying different things that I knew what my hair liked and disliked.
Thank you so much. It truly means so much what we post you find useful. It was so great to be featured on BGLH what a great site 🙂
ur site is awesome and I really like the style column, very original!
So glad you like :))) Thank you again
I would definitely like to see more fined hair naturals and style options. I mostly see people with super thick hair or at least medium strand thickness.
yes, me too. I found some good blogs like happilynatural.com and curlyandyoung.blogspot.com, hope you like them 🙂
There are a TON of natural bloggers and vloggers on Youtube who have type 4 hair. The problem is, people assume that since they:
(a) Actually have very long hair
(b) Can simply manage their hair
(c) Their hair looks very nice
they are not “true” 4-type hair.
We need to stop thinking our hair type is so difficult and extreme.
excellent
There are a lot of type 4 folks – I agree, but not a lot of folks w/ what I would call 4b. I’m assuming this writer has 4b hair. I consider all the popular vloggers to have 4a hair with the exception of Sera2544. I follow a LOT of vloggers (glamazini, AE, kim, nap, shari jay) – to me, they all fall in the 4a category. So considering that, there aren’t a lot of vloggers, and a small handful of bloggers with true 4b hair.
co sign. Everyone’s definition of type 4 is different and let’s not forget texture and shrinkage which can affect one’s styling ability and variety.
on youtube i recommend BlackOnyx77 and of course myself jesssimae. i hope that helps. I found a lot of help from curly nikki even though her hair is very different form mine. her forums on her website re full of useful info.
I inadvertenly went natural about 11 years ago when all there was was naturallycurly.com and the beginning of nappturality.com. The only blog I remember was motowngirl and the only style I knew how to do was a flexirod set.
Your best bet at this point is to realize 4a/b hair isn’t difficult, it might seem that way because of all the different regimens you read online these days but basically all you need to do to your hair is detangle it, wash it, condition it then moisturize and style it.
If it’s an issue of you just not liking your texture, no blog is going to be able to help you.
100% agree. I don’t regard type 4 as difficult at all if you keep it simple and value the personal aesthetics that YOUR hair can achieve vs beating it do death to look like somebody else’s.
AGREED! Anything apart from what you mentioned is extra extra IMO. It’s like treating my hair to a spa day. When you realize that it’s freedom. The natural community has made things way way way too complicated IMO. I guess we have to start somewhere though…nowhere but up now!
THIS!!!
Exactly! They haven’t even had much time to really learn their hair while wearing it in braids. You just need to keep it moisturized and be gentle with it.
YES! I was right there with you. The only blogs at the time I went natural were:
1. MotownGirl,
2. Napptural.com (which quickly fizzled out and was replaced by Nappturality.com, which was the Holy Grail for kinky and curly ladies at the time), and
3. NaturallyCurly.com
You had all the above and people’s individual Fotki albums. I remember those days, and we’ve come a long way baby!!!!!!!!!
Type 4 hair is difficult if you expect for it to do things that it doesn’t do.
I agree
Cosigning
I can understand being frustrated, but I don’t agree that there is a lack of information. Compared to 10 years ago, there’s a whole boatload of information on how to care for natural hair. In fact, it can be a little overwhelming at times, but I’m speaking just for myself. You’re probably frustrated because you haven’t found the right products for your hair, or the right moisture or protein balance. Natural hair is a marathon, not a sprint. I’ve been natural for nearly 2 years myself and I still learn new things all the time and tweak my regimen from time to time.
Also, while it’s not always stated, you not only have to transition your hair, you need to transition your mind. Stop comparing your hair to other naturals. Even though they may be Type 4 like you, their hair won’t be exactly the same as yours as everyone’s porosity, density, etc will be different. Natural hair can be as easy or hard as you make it.
I too felt like this at one point. My hair is 4b and not uber thick like a lot of ladies I see. It is about medium density. I attribute the lower density to relaxers as well. It got easier to manage as my hair got longer. I think the difficulty comes in one’s approach. First-off, you will have to totally reprogram your mind and stop longing for an ‘easier’ hair type. If you are 4b your hair is just plain-out puffy. This ‘curl’ madness is a pipedream. Although curls are achieveable with an excerted effort. Focus on stretching your hair enough to fluff and puff it out. I also take wet hands and gently pat my hair into shape afterwards. I suggest wearing it puffy until it’s long enough to grip better and play around with more.
I tend to frequent blogs/vlogs of those who have the similar hair types (4 a/b) and I don’t much trouble finding them. I especially like glamazini as well as Nikkimae and prettydimples because they all have great hairstyle tutorials.
Personally, I feel the term ‘difficult hair’ is a bit of a subjective element. I can look after my hair, but I wouldn’t have the slightest clue how to look after my friends’ straighter, wavier hair, though she thinks protective styling makes looking after my hair a breeze (she’s right).
Eh. I think there are actually a lot of bloggers and vloggers with ‘type 4 hair’ ¬_¬ From what I see anyway. Maybe I’m just not looking close enough. There are an abundance of sites that would cater to Chinyele’s needs, methinks.
Also, forgot to add that bloggers don’t tend to post up their mistakes, only what goes right. I do, but I don’t really have much shame.
If you want personal advice tailored to you, have you tried hair forums?
Well said A Simple Thing!! Honestly I think that 4b is so maligned when it is some pretty cute hair IF you take care of it. Yes it shrinks and yes it breaks but once you learn to respect it and learn how it behaves you can alleviate these issues.
Thanks for the mention L! The Natural Haven is about science and hair however I am a type 4abcxyz and I am totally in love with my hair……….yes totally totally in love.
The biggest issue Chinyelu has right now is not really the hair. I can pretty much say the greatest thing lacking is acceptance and confidence. I recommend that you begin with this article – Fake it till you make it! http://thenaturalhaven.blogspot.com/2009/10/confidence-confidence-confidence.html
Once you are done with that here is my simple tip. 4b hair is exactly the same as any other hair in the world. You wash it, condition it and then style it.
There is no crash course to learning to manage your hair. Personally I only figured out my hair in the last 3 years yet I have been natural for over 10 year.
4b hair rather than having strict rules actually requires you to quit a few key things:
1. Quit yanking the hair to make it look as long as it really is. Accept that shrinkage is part of life and style it to 50-80% of its actual length.
2. Quit washing your hair free once it gets to six inches because that is begging for tangles.
3. Quit expecting your hair to clump in curls. Seriously Quit it. If you want curls do a knot out, twist out or roller set. Forget that nonsense about gel and combing and brushing……if you have 4b hair, it ain’t happening!
4. Quit wearing your hair free most of the time if you are keen to have it grow long
5. Quit being impatient. Patience is everything from taking your time to detangle, to taking time to not pull your hair too tight when braiding to being patient for it to grow.
6. Quit ignoring signs of damage – Those tiny little curls on your sink or on your sweater are breakage.
Well stated Jc!!!! I agree 150%
“1. Quit yanking the hair to make it look as long as it really is. Accept that shrinkage is part of life and style it to 50-80% of its actual length.
3. Quit expecting your hair to clump in curls. Seriously Quit it. If you want curls do a knot out, twist out or roller set. Forget that nonsense about gel and combing and brushing……if you have 4b hair, it ain’t happening!”
YES. I think this is the most important above all else. It all comes down to being satisfied and happy with your texture and not wishing it was something it’s clearly not(and doesn’t need to be in order to be beautiful, if it’s healthy it already is beautiful!)! Anyway curls that clump together are a pain when you want to do mini twists and such because the looser texture doesn’t want to stay in the style.
I have to agree with that last point. EVERY type of hair has it’s pros and cons. Every hair type from bone straight to the tiniest coils has its versatility and its limitations.
Preach JC! Another thing is to listen to your hair! Over manipulation and stress can stunt hair growth and increase damage. I had to learn that the hard way and now I have to start over again.
I think you need to be more careful about identifying the key ways to style type 4 hair. That could be what works for you. If I only styled my hair at its shrunken length, I’d have tons of knots. Strecthing it through plaits, twist outs is the best thing because it avoids this.
Leena I did not say do not stretch your hair, what I did say is accept that 50-80% of the full length post styling is good enough. Don’t push your hair to where it does not want to go.
I advocate for careful stretching where you do not yank the hair and end up causing mid strand splits.
^^Jc done preached! Let the church say AMEN!
My hair is 4b, no sign of uniform coils or curls to be popped here. For me it became easy to manage once I got the basics down – moisturising, DCing regularly, protecting my hair, lubricating before manipulation with combs/brushes, SECTIONING, and PATIENCE! I love my hair! All I had to do was decide to learn what it needs to thrive.
I think there are more Type 4 bloggers/vloggers emerging, but definitely truly accepting your hair for what it is, is the first step. Comparing your hair to others is ALWAYS counterproductive. Seek out similar hair types and pick up tips where you can, but just know that with everything you read or watch YMMV (your mileage may vary)!
Absolutely love this post! Especially number 3. I had friends tell me to try the gel and brush method for curls. It didn’t work at all! I am still learning to like my 4b hair, but with continued patience and great resources like this one I think I am on the right path.
you are a truth teller
In the words of a true Nigerian “you too talk true!!”
A round of applause for Jc. Thanks for clearly and concisely stating what some of us need to hear and accept. I have 4b over my ears, 3c at the crown, and 4a everywhere else (okay, God, I accept that)so I have defined curls everywhere except the ear region. LOL. Oh well, the rules still apply!
Look, I know what you mean about a real lack of active, popular, type 4 blogs. You’ll often be pointed in the direction of uninspiring youtubes and blogs that may or may not interest. Natural Haven is more about hair science than inspiration. You may have to start your own blog and be a part of change. It’s all very well feeling tighter coils or difficult journeys aren’t heavily represented on blogs but what are you going to do about it?
You’re going to have to learn your hair for yourself, its likes and dislikes, how to handle it. Before the internet we all had to do it ourselves and we still do. No one can do it for you.
I like to look at Urbanbushbabes.com and k is for kinky blogspot. This blog teaches me more about hair and gives me more ideas on where I could be going wrong than any other despite their abundance of pretty pictures and ‘inspirational posts.’ Most blogs are a little more ego centric and why wouldn’t they be when usually one person has started it and it represents her viewpoint. BGLH is much more egalitarian and therefore my go to when I want to share in hair woes or read tips that could help me on this journey.
I do believe there is a tendency to silence complaint in the natural community but that goes for modern life in general. If you want something to happen you’re expected to make it so.
Good luck.
I agree with everything Gully said. You have to learn your hair for yourself. I have type 4 hair, but have learned many things just don’t work for me that others may embrace as their Holy Grail product or Go-To style. Just take care of your hair, above all else. Make sure it is healthy. And like Gully said, you may need to be the voice for people with type 4 hair. What did we do before BGLH, Natural Haven, and the other blogs. We learned for ourselves what worked and what didn’t. Somebody had to do it.
Good luck on your journey. I am sure it will all come together fine.
Thank you so much for the compliment we are so glad you find our site useful. UrbanBushBabes loves BGLH such an inspirational site!
Yeah I agree, it can be frustrating having 4B hair especially of it is short and thin like mine. The bloggers/vloggers who helped me the most to embrace my hair type are Carlyne of luvyournaturalhair.blogspot.com and Naomi of ForSeeNatural on Youtube.
wow I never saw anyone’s name spelled to close to mines 🙂 Karlyne