by
Chinwe
Recently, black model Jazzma Kendrick broke up with her boyfriend, retired Italian soccer player, Christian Vieri, for spewing racist remarks. She publicized the incident in the following tweets:
At first, I applauded her for taking a respectable, zero-tolerance stance against racism in an interracial relationship. However, she returned to her boyfriend days later.
As a black woman who is in an interracial marriage, I cannot see myself having tolerated a racist comment from my husband while we were dating. It would have been a deal breaker because that kind of mentality is ingrained and does not change overnight. It just doesn’t. If anything, my husband shut down racist comments during our dating stage. I specifically remember one time we were out for lunch when he spoke up to some individuals who were happily discussing racist cartoons from back in the day.
On the other hand, every relationship is different — including every interracial relationship. Some women stand by the phrase “once a cheater, always a cheater”. Others are able to forgive and overcome one instance of infidelity. For some, one verbal insult from a partner is a deal breaker. For others, if the partner promises to never utter such a word(s) again, then the relationship goes on.
I will admit that I’ve stayed in (non-interracial) relationships where I was called “out of my name”. Those relationships didn’t work out, and perhaps the insults were indicators of the increasing level of disrespect that caused them to fizzle. So, perhaps Kendrick has opened the door to Vieri disrespecting her further? Or maybe, he will truly change for the better? Only they know.
57 Responses
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Ok – thanks for the explanation. We don’t use that expression in the UK.
Yes, let’s comment on and editorialize a relationship we are not a part of. Especially since we’ve had relationships where we were called called b’s and c_nts, and tolerated both sexist and racist comments from our black partners and didn’t move on right then and there (and stay gone). You know all the ridiculous things black men can spew about whites, Asians, middle easterners, and even gays.
Yes, let’s all now jump on this woman and start the judgment fest.
Thank you! I’m starting to think some of these commenters have never really known white men, like grew up and lived in a large white community which I have and that’s why I’m not going to make a big deal about them because they’re NOT a big deal.
I never said “I wouldn’t consider dating a white man” – I said “that’s why I have never dated white men” in reference to the reasons why: racist comments and sexist behavior. And you can keep the alpha males, regardless of race, they tend to have problems with women establishing themselves as humans worthy of respect.
“Is a racist comment a deal breaker for an interracial relationship?” Yes, yes, yes, a thousand times yes. Not even for inter-racial relationships. All types. Because we all know that Black people can be racist against their kind.
Alpha males? Where? Where or What do they control, innovate, lead?
That’s interesting that we get offended about racist comments – that are probably about black men and not us – but laugh off sexist statements all the time. Is one better than the other ?
You are black as well….. how ignorant can one be? The comments wasnt about men but about black people. And since when did we start laughing at sexist comments.
Why does it matter what his race is? Why let anyone disrespect you? I have dated guys of different races and nationalities and no one has ever called me any kind of name that I recall. I can only think of one time I have called a guy I was dating a name. I told him he was an a-hole after broke my heart but mostly because he stiffed me on money he owed me. I knew he could easily pay me if he wanted to. He agreed with me that he was an asshole and a year later called to apologize and say he’d had to go to rehab. Never did pay me my $200 though.
She should run. There is no future with such a man.
Eventually, he’ll racially abuse their children.
I guess she’ll say she loves him and he visa versa,why she’s back with him. Good luck to them!
Where are her family, true friends to scold,and school her on such matter that involves self respect , dignity , and morals because clearly she lacks all three.. the moment that pos utter the slightest comment about her race. She should have given him a quicker than lighting kick to the curb, and permanently rid herself of that recessive parasite.
That would be a deal breaker for me because it shows how you really feel. I’m not talking about something petty, I’m talking about somebody saying something actually racist to me. I understand that some people are just ignorant or may not consider something racist that I consider racist and those types of situations can be worked through, but if somebody that I’m with says something hateful to me of a racial nature, we are done.
I love that the site posts on more than just black hair obviously the writers are branding out to cover all things that effect the lives of black women. As for this girl Shea gorgeous I don’t blame her for calling him out publicly. As for taking him back I don’t think she looks like a fool we don’t know what promises he has made to fix his way of thinking and his treatment of her or whether or not her can keep him. If this happens 2 more times and she takes him back that’s another story. Side bar: I feel some of the more conservative allegedly black female commentors on this site should kick rocks they always find a way to gang up on the female in this type of post but they make excuses for the males or females who look a certain way. BTW this girl is gorgeous and deserves the title model.
Just want to say I
I’ve dated and am currently dating interracially. Racist comments are totally a dealbreaker for me, as is a lack of awareness about or understanding of racial issues, mostly because I don’t care to be anyone’s teacher.
This woman is being foolish. I don’t know anything about these people but a cursory Google search shows that her man was accused of making racist remarks when he played football so if she thinks this was a one-time thing said out of anger, she’s mistaken. Besides, a partner who insults you during a fight is not a partner you want; it is possible for couples to argue — even heatedly — WITHOUT resorting to name calling, which just shows immaturity, a lack of respect for one another and poor character.
Racists love, date, marry and even have kids with people in the groups they hate all the time so when someone shows you who they REALLY are, believe them.
what does ‘call me out my name’ mean?
To use an insult in the place of someone’s name. Example: Calling someone a bitch.
All the adjectives women are called other than their birth name.
When someone calls another a name other than their name, an insult (b*itch, hoe, stupid, etc…).
Thanks for the explanation. We don’t use that term in the UK.
it means using a derogatory word toward a person. Typically it’s calling someone a b*tch.
I think you should change the name of the website. For the past months the articles have been nothing but news in pop culture, not natural hair. There is nothing wrong with news but when the title of the website is totally misleading to viewers, that’s where it crosses the line.
I agree, there’s hardly any natural hair updates. Definitely miss the old BGLH
+1. In fairness to BGLH, they did announce a few years ago that they were going in a different direction and branching out into topics beyond natural hair which, given how incredibly saturated that niche has become, makes sense. I agree that the name can be misleading to newer readers unfamiliar with the transition but it’s probably too late in the game for a name change.
A better compromise might be to add a tagline of some sort that sums up what this site is all about (a natural hair, news and lifestyle blog?) so people aren’t confused.
There are plenty of companies more “misldeading” than this site lol I hope you post comments like this on their pages as well smh ridiculous to suggest they are being deceptive when there are bigger fish to fry in that department.
Agreed.
There’s so much information about natural available now. This isn’t 2008.
They have plenty of article about hair.
I feel the same way.
There are plenty articles on hair. Check the archives. Also, BGLH does a great job at covering hair topics as necessary. How many articles can the site put up about the same topics??? It was honestly getting repetitive. The way I see it is there are two parts to the name of the website: Black Girl and Long Hair. Right now BGLH is covering the black girl part and I feel they have done and continue doing a good job on the long hair aspect as well. Good job BGLH!
She is dumb to publicly call the guy a racist then get back together. Now she will be the model dating the racist. Think before you tweet. I can’t even call they guy racist since she didn’t even say what he said but he should dump her for even putting him out their like that and
See, this is why people need to stop SHARING everything on social media. Now she looks like a fool. Which one is it, once is a deal breaker or the third or fourth time is a deal breaker? She’s going to regret publicly airing this. Their relationship will never be the same.
The way she described it thought – “get away from anyone who tries to bring you down verbally” – sounds like this guy REALLY went off on the deep, racist rant, end. All I can say is, if this happens, which given white peoples track record and how racist Italians can be there’s a big chance it will, she can’t claim to be shocked when it does happen again. This guy sounds abusive (and racist) and sounds like he’s testing how far he can go, she’s taken him back already so why would/should he truly change? This is why I’ve NEVER dated white men – majority of them made racist comments and the few that didn’t seem to have no regard/respect for my personal space. To each his/her own, but if she takes to Twitter again about his racist remarks, I’ll have a tough time sympathizing with her…I think most would feel the same way.
This is why I’ve NEVER dated white men – majority of them made racist comments and the few that didn’t seem to have no regard/respect for my personal space.
You must not date anyone cause all men are disrespecting black women these days!
Actually, I’ve been in a relationship for almost 4 years but go ahead and assume away!
But Black men also say racist and s exist things to Black women but you haven’t sworn off of them have you.
Exactly lol I hate to say I have experienced more racism in my life and attacks on my skin color from black men not white men smh
thank you! cus saying “you black a$$ biihh” from ANY MAN is racist and degrading. too many people loyal to color instead of loyal to the person he/she is. respect me period
What does this article have to do with black men tho??? Jesus!!! Some of you Swirl fanatics are too much smh I cannot.
Well said so why give our own a pass also.
And you lost me with your assumptions because NOWHERE did I say that “black men are completely and total exempt from being racists and sexists” which sounds like my comment was your cue to start dragging black men into this article. I also never swore off white men (yet, white men are not as great as most people try to make them out to be), I said “that’s why I’ve never dated white men” meaning every white guy that approached me said/did something offensive…there is a difference.
This article wasn’t about BLACK MEN – it’s SPECIFICALLY about a black woman in a relationship with a white man. And I don’t hang out with anyone who says racist or sexist things about black women (or any POC and if you do, you might want to keep better company) and that includes black men, at the same time, I’m not tolerating any racist/sexist nonsense from white men either. I have to laugh even more at your silly assumption because my bf is neither black or white…so much for me being “loyal” eh? HAHAHA.
Anyone in this country for 2minutes know about white arrogance and racism.please…noone excused anything.come again.
I agree with you Mo.
Whenever i read an article about relationships black woman always talking negatively about black men.
As a black woman who date interracial i will never talk negatively about black men. At the end of the day if you are a black woman your father, brother, even if your kids are mix they will still consider black. So you putting them down also. Look at President Obama even though he was a excellent president all the hate and disrespectful him and his wife went through because he’s black. They all were coming from white people. At the end of i think when talking negative about each other you look stupid and other race are laughing at you.
White doesnt mean good, not every white man are rich. I feel like when dating interracial you really have to get to know the person past, how they feel about black issues. Should Zimmerman be in jail or no.
Even if you dont date you own race. Black woman and black men stop stop the negative rant about each other. We get enough of it from all other race group. Protect your own.
And nobody said anything about black men but you, meaning you were waiting for anyone to say something negative about RACIST white men to counter with that nonsense. Also, nobody said anything about exempting racist/sexist black men so, again, where are you getting his nonsense from? I’m taking it you didn’t read my post correctly, if at all. I have a bf whose neither black or white so what does THAT say about me since you’re in the assuming mood?
What do black men have to do with this article? Your comments are ridiculous.
Because Black Men are the biggest haters of Black Women.
I wouldn’t even consider dating a white man either. He could be calling me all kinds of ni**er *itch everyday in his mind. Some black women comparing black men disrespect to that of a white man seriously? Our common struggle, culture can overcome gender issues. But a white man and their entitled arrogant nature could never understand me as Black woman. Plus black men are sexy alpha male, white men not at all imo.
Alpha males?…where?.on the courts or rapping?..because they have dark skin?…but how can i be surprised because you think black males calling Black women and hoes are ok…Your parents failed you…anyhow….how are black men alphas when they control nothing?
What a shame. How does she know that he doesn’t think of her the same way
Wait, we are now calling these Taz Angels girls “models” now? LOL Chile… y’all need to do a Google search on Taz Angels and then you will understand why she took him back and that’s all I am saying. This really does not warrant yet another think piece. The answer to why she took him back is very simple smh.
To be honest, your assessment of her career has nothing to do the validity of this piece. Just because she isn’t the type of model you’d have her to be, she is no less entitled to respect than you are. As racial matters are an ongoing issue, why shouldn’t this be another think piece? It presents race in the context of intimate relationships, and provides insight. Also, there are more complex issues at play than your ‘simple’ or ‘no brainer’ assessment as to why she continued her relationship.
Wait, she’s a Taz Angel ?? Wow lol
Oh yes, or should I say former Taz’s angel. It seems like she left them when she hooked with this Italian millionaire.
If someone calls me out my name period that’s a deal breaker.
A) True B) Perhaps she should not have had this argument in social media. She looks nuts now.