by
BGLH
Goddess of black woman television Mara Brock Akil was recently featured in Michaela Angela Davis’ online series Hair Tales. The creator of hit shows Girlfriends , The Game and Being Mary Jane, reflected on her hair journey and what her hair means to her. In the two-minute video, Akil recalls being “swung on” by teen girls who envied her curls.
I loved going to the skating rink. I remember being in the bathroom and attacked by these girls who were like ‘There she go! Thinking she cute with her hair.’ ..It was a clear indicator that I was mixed. I think it was like ‘Oh, she thinks she’s better than.’
But the incident only made Akil more determined to embrace her hair.
Watch the full video below!
Share your thoughts! Have you had a similar experience?
13 Responses
This is a shame. I see it all the time. “Ooh, I wish I had your hair.” “You got that good hair.” “You probably mixed, that’s why it’s curly.” That’s what gives some of these bi-racial girls big egos
Boys do it was well as teenagers. Once they get older they try and take their sh*t out on women.
One of my nephews’ who isn’t light has 3b/3c hair like his mum. One of his classmates as a teenager took to sniping about this hair because he couldn’t believe black people with no known mixed heritage could have that hair type. It got to the point that the school had to take action and he only stopped after my nephew went into hospital with a sickle cell crisis.
My nephew grew up being proud of being black and the hair he envied was a long term friend of his who can grow a voluminous afro.
I had long hair growing up and would wear it straight prior to being a full time natural as I am now. My grandmother (out of fear) would demand that I wear my hair up in a bun every day so the girls at school wouldn’t get jealous and cut it off.
Let’s not pretend that black women, hell women in general, don’t give one another a hard time. I saw it growing up happening to other women, and I have my own experiences of the happening to me. I realize that this is rooted in low self-esteem however a lot of grown women do not seem to have grown out of it.
It’s a shame that 4C girls didn’t like their hair back then. And still don’t now. To the point where they beat up someone with a looser texture.
This comment made me laugh. Not because it was funny, but the memories it called up. I am 4ZYX/WWJD with this lovely hair type. Never felt any shame about it. I love it like it’s my 2nd child. What’s funny is when I tell people I have that “real Africa” on my head, they fall over themselves trying to convince me that I don’t have “real napps.” “Nappy hair can’t do what your hair does,” “can’t grow that long,” “isn’t that soft,” “doesn’t look like ‘that kind’ of hair,” “is that ALL your hair,” all kinds of things. I get tired(in my heart) of explaining to them that my Father gave me His best…you just have to learn how to care for it…all hair types have inherent beauty.. because there’s a mental/emotional journey each person has to take. I tell them about my cousin who lost a waist-length 4c bull plait(island speak for fat plait/twist) because of the white child sitting behind her in class. We go through that too. It’s sad that we collectively fight over the very things over which we have absolutely no control.
Yup 🙁 I’m sure this happened. I remember in 5th grade when my parents moved us to Columbus, GA back in ’91 a girl tried to cut my pony tail off.. I was traumatized for a while after that.. We need to do better. Teach our children more self love.
That’s unfortunate- kids/teens do very stupid & hateful things. Some grow into hateful adults…we see them in the comment section all of the time. But, I also feel bad for young girls who want to hurt someone because of their looks. You just know they were probably teased at one point or even made to feel less attractive because they didn’t have that same look. That’s why I check people- family members, young and old who make ridiculous remarks about someones complexion, hair type etc. We really have to be in each others corner.
To say that the girls were jealous is a strong statement. Mara did not imply that the girls were jealous… I don’t think they necessarily were. I believe that it is equally as likely that the girls unfairly synonymed a looser hair texture with an inflated sense of self worth. They may have expected Mara to act and believe that she was better than them and once they got to know her could have embraced her and her natural curls. But to immediately assume jealously is as much a fallacy as the girls thinking that Mara was pompous just because of her hair. It also supports, to some degree, the natural hair hierarchy that favors looser textures by assuming that those girls must not love their texture because their non-mixed genes didn’t give them loose curls.
I believe that it IS jealousy. I’m your basic brown girl with 4a/b/ & a little 3c hair that grew thick & long down my back because mom took good care of it. Being a kinky haired girl with long hair could get you in real trouble,too. Some girls got mad at me in school because it’s like a betrayal of what they think you’re supposed to have; it’s like “How dare you have long hair! You’re not high yallah & your hair is kinky !!” If you’re not snooty about your hair,that makes them mad, too, because if THEY had your hair their noses would be to the sky & they’d think they were better than everyone else & act the part. They also assumed ,like you said, that I would be pompous about my hair & I wasn’t. It’s STILL in the spectrum of jealousy.
The interesting thing was that I was also on the other side because I had a cousin who was lighter with wavy hair as long a mine was & SHE thought she was better than the rest of us cousins & used to ridicule our hair. She’d put water on her hair in front of us & say ” See how my hair straightens out when it gets wet? Yours doesn’t do that ’cause ya’ll got nigger hair & you have to get it straightened.” As we grew up she separated from us. This whole hair situation is ridiculous! It had slowed way down in the 70s afro pride days but came roaring back in spades when the crack epidemic hit in late 80s -90s.
Beautiful woman + curls. Sucks she had to go through that dealing with hateful trolls
I believe her..
So do I. I remember light & curly girls getting that treatment as well as us type 4s with long hair. SAD