so, it’s interesting how this ties in with our recent discussion on relaxed hair. bublnbrnsuga has some of the thickest, longest and most beautiful natural hair i’ve ever seen. well, had. she chose to relax (motions lye relaxer) in october 2008.
her hair is gorgeous both ways. but i was surprised she relaxed, since i felt she had the best of both worlds — the health of natural hair with the option to straighten if she wanted a relaxed look. so, i asked her about it…
BGLH: was this your first relaxer? were you relaxed before?
B: My first relaxer was in 1998, my second year in college. I snuck behind my mother’s back and got an Affirm relaxer. She was not happy!!
BGLH: why did you do it again after going natural?
B: I was at a standstill with my natural hair or so I thought. I was not at my official goal length afer 6 years of being natural. My hair at this time would just hang — no personality. To remedy this, I knew I would have to cut my hair but at the time, I didn’t want cutting my hair to be a mainstay as a natural. So I sacrificed hair length over health and relaxed. I thought this time, from me being a part of haircare forums, I would know how to manage relaxed hair better than before.
BGLH: so now you’re transitioning back to natural. i know you mentioned something about straight hair frizz… which interested me because you said that you liked your natural frizz. you also mentioned shedding. could you elaborate?
B: Yes, when I was natural I embraced the frizz because my main styles were wild and free. As a relaxed head, my styles are mainly straight with body, but along with this comes frizz. It defeats the purpose of relaxed hair when all it does is frizz. My hair has been shedding a lot, too. I can comb my hair daily with my K-Cutter and long strands will come out. Sometimes I can just rub my hair and I will get a few strands this way,too. Some say it’s normal because the hair sheds daily, but I wasn’t sure.
BGLH: what is your plan for transitioning back to natural?
B: This time I am going to transition for 10 months and chop. I have been going to the beauty shop weekly to get roller wraps, to maintain my relaxed hair look.
Bublnbrnsuga’s photos
NATURAL
RELAXED
the frizz (according to bublnbrnsuga)
interesting stuff. i also asked her about her haircare regimen when she was natural, but i’ll post those responses in a few days. (here’s the link to her fotki page to get your own sneak preview.) for now, i want to hear what you think. and again, all views are welcome.
35 Responses
I was natural for four years when I made the decision to perm my hair again. And it was the best choice for me. I had recently started a gym routine that had me there four to five days a week, sweating heavily. I couldn’t keep my natural hair moisturized and I was needing to wash my hair more than once a week. My hair was constantly damp, I couldn’t style or protective style (soggy twists are gross), and my hair was starting to break off. I permed my hair, but like I had never permed my hair before. I didn’t have the goal of my hair being bone straight. I have thick hair, but fine strands, so I actually only kept the perm on as long as it said for fine strands. Guess what? I still have a curl pattern, I still have volume! I can wash my hair as part of my showering routine every other day. I still moisturize my hair as if it’s still natural and my 2 month old perm still looks as fresh and shiny as it did the first day. I only intend to perm my hair 2 or 3 times a year.
I will never regret finding the beauty in my natural hair, but there is more to my life than my hair and I didn’t want my hair to be a limiting factor in living my life.
I personally can count the number of times I’ve had a relaxer on one hand. First one when I was 13 I made the decision to stop relaxing when i was 15, everyone thought i was crazy but I loved my hair and texture an didn’t see the need to alter it. I have been a natural girl for six year and have bc’d twice in between. How you wear you hair or want to wear your hair is a personal and spiritual choice. As long as you feel groovy 🙂
Well, for those who care, she’s done an awesome job growing it back out. She’s waistlength (or more) now.
Her’s her YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7RHHYRRp9oFdKAL9JLFKkA
Or look up “ChakaKhanian” ;o)
she permed again
The natural hair journey is Not for everyone. Whether you are doing it to be fashionable or spiritual it is your call. Another chapter to your story, Do you!!
Afro textured hair is hard work, no matter what style it is in. Why anyone thinks otherwise confuses me! If your hair is relaxed, then trying to get body, volume, and life can be a problem. If natural, trying to find a combing regiment that doesn’t leave you exhausted. Moisture and Proteins are the key, no matter what style your hair is. Getting the right products for your hair, having a solid regime that works for you, and implementing it with patience, all of these will allow for your hair to flourish.
Frizzy hair, if your hair was frizzy as a natural, guess what, it will be frizzy relaxed! Relaxers just change the curls in your hair, not your genetics. Finding a balance is the challenge, regardless of how you wear your hair.
I relaxed once, and hated it, my hair had no life, no body, I couldn’t do anything with it, and it was FLAT. I am natural and my hair is well POW! Yup, I will never go to relaxed hair again, when I want straight hair, I will either flat iron it, or get a wig (probably the latter). This is just my personal journey.
She looks great natural or relaxed. Her hair is her hair, personal to her, and her journey. I hope that it is a positive one.
It depends on your perception of it. It is true that some textures are easier to take care of – but at the end of the day if you were raised being told that taking care of it is hard work, then for you it will be hard work because of what you were constantly told. To me my hair isn’t hard work at all, it’s to the point where in the summer ( I don’t take to the heat very well) I rinse my hair out daily, my hair was long and yet it was done daily, I never had 2nd thoughts about doing it. I chopped it off down to 2 inches in September, again it’s thriving – either way long or short I love it and I have no problems with it whatsoever. IF we learn to listen to our hair when it’s talking to us, then much of the problems that we encounter will be alleviated. For example when my hair needs trimming I know because it tangles. When my hair doesn’t like products I know, because it tangles. so in some cases we may be using products that isn’t good for our hair.
Afro textured hair is hard work, no matter what style it is in. Why anyone thinks otherwise confuses me! If your hair is relaxed, then trying to get body, volume, and life can be a problem. If natural, trying to find a combing regiment that doesn’t leave you exhausted. Moisture and Proteins are the key, no matter what style your hair is. Getting the right products for your hair, having a solid regime that works for you, and implementing it with patience, all of these will allow for your hair to flourish.
Frizzy hair, if your hair was frizzy as a natural, guess what, it will be frizzy relaxed! Relaxers just change the curls in your hair, not your genetics. Finding a balance is the challenge, regardless of how you wear your hair.
I was relaxed once, and hated it, my hair had no life, no body, I couldn’t do anything with it, and it was FLAT. I am natural and my hair is well POW! Yup, I will never go to relaxed hair again, when I want straight hair, I will either flat iron it, or get a wig (probably the latter). This is just my personal journey.
She looks great natural or relaxed. Her hair is her hair, personal to her, and her journey. I hope that it is a positive one.
I don’t understand why she thought that getting a relaxer meant she did not have to cut her hair. We loose 50-100 strands of hair a day & it’s will be fizzy & shedding natural or relaxed when you save dead split ends. Curly hair hides imperfections & straight hair will show what you been hiding.
I am texlaxed but really it has nothing to do with anyone thinks, but because I find it easier to manage my hair that way. I wear my hair in a lot of different styles, and because my hair still has texture some people think its just stretched natural hair. I think its just sad that people think when you relax your hair then you want to be like a white or hispanic woman. Then why is it ok that naturals are stretching their hair, flat iron, dye their hair or use curl formers? Because at the end of day all that stretching and curling will hide your natural curl pattern and hair colour. When I am better at managing/ styling my hair I do intend to go natural but since I’m still learning I’ve chosen to keep it texlaxed. My going natural is for the sake of my health.
Nice site. Some of you all have really grown your hair out and it looks great. I was somewhat natural until I was 18 yrs old.(i got it pressed) When i did get a perm my hair neither grew or fell out.I would like to go natural (only to grow my hair out healthy)then perm it. I think people (some) that choose natural is beautiful. I mean there face is just perfect for that style.. Me on the pther hand…I have a huge forhead and can not wear my hair of my forhead. I know i would have to for natural hair. That really scares me. I do notice when I don’r relax my hair but every five months it grows. I think it is also possible to have healthy hair while one still has a perm. I can not lie…I am my hair. If I didn’t have my hair my head would really look funny. Good luck to all.
I am 17 years old and have had a relaxer since I was about 3 or 4 years old. I was in pageants, and my mom couldn’t deal with it. So, i have practically had a relaxer all of my life. Unlike what seems to be the common stigma, my hair is incredibly healthy. For example, just last year I somehow went without a relaxer for about 4-6 months. While some peoples hair would be falling out by then, the only problem I had was the fact that it was unmanageable for me. My hair wasn’t/isnt’t falling out, my hairline wasn’t/isn’t receding, and I wasn’t/am not in pain. I have to admit I did and continue to go through bouts of wanting natural hair b/c my hair is naturally wavy, but i just don’t know how to go through the nu-growth period for so long. (oh yeah, my hair is past my shoulders, not as long as Bublnbrnsuga’s though.)But, in the end, I feel that this woman’s hair is beautiful!! No matter what-I feel that our hair should express our emotions. So when you feel a certain way you should be able to express it through your hair. For me it is a little difficult to express my bohemmian side with curly hair b/c then I have to risk washing it, letting it dry naturally, and then watching it frizz.
I 2nd that Black Girl Long hair..JC you should sent in your photos. I would love to hear your experience
Okay, on the positives. I praise the fact that the girl in the photos went back to natural hair. Regardless of people’s opinions on why she relaxed, that says a lot in and of itself. I’m a HUGE fotki stocker..lol. I’ve been natural for 4 years and I’ve noticed that some of the girls who journeyed with me, ended up perming their hair. But like bublnbrnsuga, they’re back on their journey to being natural again. Maybe I may be a bit biased b/c I’ve only looked at natural-headed fotki albums, but from what I’ve noticed, although some of us naturals are militant, we can be EXTREMELY supportive. I’ve seen photos of women who weren’t happy with the results of their twist, twist-out, finger coil, yet I always saw such positive and supportive comments. Although I don’t have an album, looking at others fotki albums and reading the comments letting me know that I wasn’t alone was really reassuring during my Journey.
I can’t assume bublnbrnsuga reasons for going natural again. But maybe she missed all the support and love she had before she permed her hair. What I found amazing about reading her experience is the fact that SHE HAD A CHOICE. So what if she permed her hair. It was not her mom’s doing, or sisters, or friend, it was hers! Maybe the first time she ran that comb through her relaxed hair, she felt at ease because she did not have to worry about wetting it before combing it. Later, she probably realized that maintaining a relaxed hair was just as time consuming. I dunno, just guessing
Someone mentioned earlier why we are giving our hair so much power or that hair is just hair. Not to be rude, but COME ON. Maybe for a white women, or Indian, or Hispanic. But with black women hair isn’t just hair. Majority of us have never had the choice of wearing our hair natural or straight. Throughout history, blk ppl were judged by their skin color (light skinned being the best) and hair texture. I saw this documentary about the Dom. Republic. Women there will put milk on their baby’s hair if it is curly just to lay it down. I’ve seen many forums where blk women are afraid to style their natural hair a particular way due to past discrimination (when going to an interview). There was an article about a military girl who was told to cut off her dreads. Although a satire, remember the pic of Michelle Obama with the fro? The day hair will be hair for black women, is the day mothers actually give their daughters the choice and not force the relaxer on their hair b/c they “don’t know how to take care of it”. Also, the day hair will be hair is when I can walk out of my house with a fro without having people questioning my political motives (blk or white).
I’m sorry for the long response. I am now a reformed militant, lol. I’ve decided to just lead by example. I was surprise to see quite a few black girls, that I knew, recently go natural. When I asked them why, they said that I secretly inspired them because they saw me rocking my natural styles and wanted to join in on the fun (lol). Whether they will stay natural..i dunno. But at least someone payed attention. The tide is turning and the natural hair scene is changing little by little.
jc: it sounds like you need to send in your own photos for an interview, lol.
co************@*****il.com
To the last commenter,
As a militant natural, I’d like to say that the abuse that you suffered is unfair. I would never participate in degrading another human being nor would I condone it.
I’ll tell you why I am militant. I want a world where women do not feel that being relaxed is the ‘only’ option. Currently relaxer manufacturers are bantering a figure that around 80% of women are relaxed (google it, its a fact). It is for this reason, I say, for a large majority of women, relaxing is not an option but a compulsion. I remember people saying to me incredulously,
Short afro/starting out – ‘You are going out like that?’ (Meaning, tie a head scarf, put in some extensions, shame on you)
Mid length natural – ‘What are you going to do to your hair?’ (Meaning when are you going to relax?)
Long natural – ‘Wow, if you relaxed your hair, it would be soooooo long and pretty.’
For some reason, if you are NOT relaxing your hair,it is against the norm yet this is the hair we were born with. It was not a mistake or a flaw, it was exactly what we needed to set off our multiple shades of cocoa skin.
So, I am militant about natural hair because it should be an option to change natural hair and not vice versa. I never endured abuse like you did, but I certainly came up against obstacles which in my opinion should not have existed. I therefore adopted natural hair as my cause. I choose to praise its virtues. Yes I was relaxed at age 14 and liked it for all of one month, then struggled for 5 years before getting some sense and realising MY hair, didn’t like this chemical. (I say ‘my’ hair)
I completely condemn all fanatics who have an ‘idealised natural’. This is the problem with one of the forums that we have already discussed previously. You are definitely right on the mark on the topic of righteousness.
Your hair is your hair, it does not tell me about your inner qualities. Anyone who chooses to make such comparisons, really needs to reanalyse themselves.
I too was the smart kid in school, and I had admirers and detractors. I too was considered light skinned (though in the black spectrum of Europe/USA, I am not). For this reason, I was referenced to as ‘yellow’, ‘half-caste’, ‘brown’, ‘camel’ and the best one yet – ‘timberland’ (in reference to the colour of the shoe – even I laughed when I was called this). And yes, this was in Africa as a child born to black parents with a traceable lineage of ONLY black people, but I wasn’t as ‘dark’ as I was ‘supposed’ to be.
Racism has no bounds not by creed or colour. It exists only so that one may raise himself to higher importance. This renders racism a fallacy.
An American said it best, ‘Nobody can put you down without your consent.’ So if you like your relaxed hair, go on live your life, I wish you only healing and happiness. If you choose to go back natural, equally I wish you healing and happiness. The only difference for myself as a militant would be the compliment for your hair (unless you were getting married, then I’d lay down my fatigues and compliment you regardless :)).
i don’t understand militant naturals who were relaxed before. i am 25 and i was always natural until age 21 i was militant in my teens and twenties. i soon discovered that i didn’t have to me tied down to my hair and what someone else did to their hair wasn’t my business i was natural before natural became a trend before the boards i never even heard of creamy crack lye etc we should be uplifting each other.trust me i didn’t see other naturals in my days except the rastas and none of the black girls liked me in school because i had a big ass fro and i had long thick 4a hair. they use to pull my hair and run call me oreo erykah badu fake hair etc.only the japanese and chinese kids liked my hair all the black kids laughed at me. soon forward years later with the internet and i see all these terms i like wtf? that dislike, and condensation is turned back around, now coming from the natural folks when will this shit stop? my hair was apart of my identity for years- but relaxing it was a freedom for me and so is going back to natural too my hair doesn’t define everythig i am as a person anymore i feel free to rock my hair anyway i like and i am really offended by people who were once relaxed questioning me about my hair- yall remind me of the little black kids who threw eggs at me and taunted me cause ” i wasn’t black enough” ie i read too many books, i am smart to me and pulled my hair in school and on the bus cause they couldn’t believe this is my hair now i not black enough, hardcore enought cause i went to the creamy crack what kind of phase is that? the righteous ones is always the lost ones because through their defiance they are blinded to see diversity,difference by putting down the opposite well isn’t that the same thing the different one does to you? so how are you righteous?
Hi I’m new. My work colleague has just introduced me to this site. This is a great discussion. I feel the passion behind the words.
I think too that the hair ‘looks’ good but as has been pointed out, it is not healthy. I guess the lady wanted straight hair.
I think for myself, I wouldn’t give up my napps for nothing. I would like to get a straight style on occassion so maybe when Jenteel has time, she can give us some advice on this. I have tried flat ironing once but I didn’t like seeing my hair steaming so I stopped. I did use a hair protection serum and medium heat which didn’t work. Any tips?
I’m going now to read the old posts, I really like what I see so far.
This makes me wonder if natural girls here think that one day they will come back to relaxer.
I know, we all change, our motivations to come back to natural hair too, but for my part i really think that i will never go back to relaxer. I don’t see what relaxer can give that natural hair doesn’t.
ugh, i don’t know that we should feel sorry for bublnbrnsuga. she’s obviously a beautiful and confident black woman who is sharing her story.
i guess i want to be careful how we criticize her. plus, as i said before, relaxed or natural her hair is gorgeous, and a good example for all of us.
That made me laugh Jenny :). I do love my soap box and fatigues:)
Leila put up her fotki link and in there Suga’s own (very harsh) words speak volumes. I would also highly recommend reading it.
I felt a little bit sorry for Suga because I think with some effort and learning all her relaxed styles could have been achieved with natural hair and she would not have to go through the hair breakage experience. I really think that she is making the best of the experience she has currently but she has deep regrets.
Natural hair is not always the healthier hair. It can be compromised by bad combing, failure to condition, poor porosity, poor moisture etc. It is just more likely that without chemical alteration (in terms of breaking the bonds that hold it together), it is in its best form (i.e if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it).
wow
i hear you jc
i really do
you make excellent points!
but we can’t all be so militant all the time
if it looks good, it looks good
that’s it
no one said
well excuse me (i’ll speak for myself)
i never said i “take looks over health”
i don’t think we each had to go thru an assessment of the dangers of relaxed hair
we handled that in the other post
natural hair is healthier!!!
yay!!! 🙂
we agree jc!!!
we’re all here for the love of natural hair
that’s what brings us all together
i am happy b is going back nappy
but i don’t personalize her decision
but go head back on the box hon
we’re all here to listen 🙂
I am natural and loving it! My hair was much more high maintenance when I had a relaxer. I hated gettting touch ups and when I did get a touch up the hairdresser would lop off all of my progress, even when I told him/her that I want to let my hair grow with a centimeter trim. I would walk in there with hair longer than my arm pits and leave out with it just skimming my shoulders. WTF??????? I laugh at relaxed heads when they run around looking for a hairdress and are pissed off when they don’t like the hairdresser and or he took to much hair during the trim. BUH HAHAHAHAAHAHA
I never go to these hairdressers. They always cut off your hair. They don’t even understand how to take care of natural hair.
You are so right! I did a big chop 3 years ago and my hair was armpit natural and I did have a hard time pressing or flat ironing and so went to a relaxer with an expensive new hairdresser through a co-worker. She not only cut off 3 inches but also did my hair bone straight when asked her not to. It’s been 3 months and I don’t want to go back to her. So yes, BUH HAHAHA to me! Now, I’m not sure what I want to do. Yes, I’m shedding long strands also. My hair is shoulder length and I have about one inch of new growth.
She’s stunning. She wanted longer hair? Wow.
Although I am a Natural Hair Nazi (smile), this is someone who obviously knows how to take care of her hair with / without a relaxer. To me she’s the kind of person that should do it if she wants, she can manage it.
For those with receding hairlines, scalp damage, extreme breakage and going bald, while I know it is their choice, it is sad to see black women put themselves through that kind of agony.
oh, and another cool thing is that bublnbrnsuga sticks to the facts:
OBJECTIVELY speaking the relaxer was bad for her hair. she doesn’t attach any emotional value to the state of being relaxed or natural.
i mean, i can be militant (i confess… again, PLEASE don’t take offense), but i think it’s important for us to look at the facts of being natural and being relaxed.
emotion and rhetoric can come later.
well, i think the relaxed hair is pretty. but i gotta go with jc on this one.
bublnbrnsuga did state that she chose length over health (first blunder), and that the relaxer caused her hair to frizz and shed (second blunder)…
she’s very open about admitting that the relaxer wasn’t a good choice. which i respect sooo much. this interview is actually kind of mild. bublnbrnsuga is a lot more militant on her fotki page. you should definitely check it out.
This is incredible to me. Do we value hair appearance over health?
She said and I quote, ‘My hair has been shedding a lot, too. I can comb my hair daily with my K-Cutter and long strands will come out. Sometimes I can just rub my hair and I will get a few strands this way,too. Some say it’s normal because the hair sheds daily, but I wasn’t sure.’
Yet we still say that that her hair looks good both ways. Why does she notice this shedding now that her hair is relaxed…….hmm I wonder?
She uses some extreme terms in her fotki such as ‘creamy crack’ and ‘attacking her hair’, which do not really extol the virtues of relaxing hair.
I think to have 2 inches of natural hair which is well taken care of is better than 20 inches of breaking relaxed hair.
Are we really seriously saying that damaged hair is pretty? If so, this is a sad state of affairs and I see why I am never getting off my natural soap box (never never never well maybe just to go to the toilet, redo my blush and puff up the afro:)).
It is gorgeous. I wonder whether part of the reason so many go back to the relaxer, is this coming ‘to a standstill’. Once there are no more aims, we can’t deal with just having hair, there needs to be a new challenge. Its interesting.
It’s also the aesthetic. I went natural because I no longer preferred straight hair. To relax is to take that extra step. To be natural is to stay, if you get my meaning. As long as you like the way straight hair looks on you, you could forever go back and forth, with no real problems.
Her hair is still pretty natural or relaxed. Most people don’t have it like that.
i agree with everyone else. Her hair is full either way. Everyone has to do what works for them.
When I first went natural..it had nothing to do with wanting to be free of the lye or any other “good” reason. It was out of laziness. I was tired of having to get a perm. Tired of wrapping it up. Flat ironing. Curling. Blow Drying. Making sure it didn’t get wet. Making sure every strand was in place.
I just didn’t care about my hair enough to give it that much time and I wanted something simpler.
So sometimes people ride a soapbox of pro-natural for “noble” reasons. And sometimes the reasons we choose to be natural or permed..are just because we change our mind.
So long as you’re healthy, is what I believe now.
Whoa!!
Her hair is just gorgeous either way …
Its always so interesting to me how we are never satisfied (“we” = humans in general).
We all want the Kim Kardashian Booty, the Angelina Lips, the Bublnbrnsuga hair, LOL!
I think her hair is close to perfect and i am a bit bummed that she relaxed as I know that its a cycle of I am tired of my naps so I’m texturizing to make it more manageable, but now the texturizer is overlapped so I am relaxing … Now I am transitioning back to natural or cutting it all off because the relaxer lessens the versatility of my hair.
I’ve seen it all before, I’ve done it all before.
Right now I am just going to try to love what I have the most and believe that its perfect because its not and that is what is so unique and beautiful …
I am not anti relaxer but when you have some fly hair like bubln?
I’m like WHYYYYYY?!!?!??!?! LOL!!
Awaiting her routine and the remainder of the interview!
Thanks for posting this!
Peace
She’s a real beauty regardless of which way she chooses to wear her hair.
I’ll admit that I was very disappointed that she chose to relax her healthy natural hair.
Many women would give anything to achieve her length naturally.
But, she was able to determine that the relaxed hair is not for her so she’s woman enough to admit it and go back to being a true natural beauty; AGAIN.
That’s wonderful news to my ears.
Rhonda
I think her hair looks great both ways. As a pro-choice natural, I really try not to judge, and she’s a great example why. When I see women with damaged processed hair, it makes no sense to me for them to continue down that road; however, this sister’s hair looks quite healthy. To me, I guess it’s all about options and what works for her lifestyle at any particular time in her life.
gorgeous hair all around!