by
Christina Patrice
At this point, the story is getting a little old:
Black Girl ridiculed by peers about having “different” hair, and teachers/administrators further isolate said girl by fixating on her hair as the issue, rather than addressing the blatant bullying that repeatedly occurred. After “public outrage” ensues, said teachers and administrators redact/retract their statements and apologize for their actions. Then everyone goes on about their business until something else happens. Rinse, lather, repeat.
More than treating this latest story as another notch in the different day, same bull belt, we cannot afford to view Vanessa Vandyke’s story through the narrow scope of natural hair. Yes, a Black girl, like countless others (and possibly even some of us) has been bullied and unsupported by the educational “professionals” who are supposed to have her best interests at the forefront. Yes, once again our God given hair is trivialized, under attack, and our naturalness otherized.
But make no mistake: this discourse is nothing new, and has never been limited to our hair. Black women in America have endured a long history of purposely being painted outside the spectrum of acceptable beauty. Our skin color, hair texture, facial features, and body shapes have been bastardized, abased, devalued, and reduced to mere spectacles. In the early 1800s, Saartjie “Sara” Baartman was put on display as a freak show attraction in museums throughout Europe, because of the size of her butt. Fast forward 200 years, and Miley Cyrus continues the racialized parading; rendering the Black female body as a prop for profit.
Of course to the Black woman who walks daily in reminders of her less-than, this maltreatment and dehumanization comes as no surprise. For longer than we’ve loved our natural hair, thick lips, and array of complexions, we’ve fought against embracing who we are, just to make it stop. Just to make it hurt a little less. Just to be acknowledged as more than a societal punching bag. Just to get a little further ahead professionally. Not understanding that perms, powders, and proper English don’t present us passes into the circle of privilege. Seeking acceptance into a clique that wants everything from us, but nothing to do with us has been an exercise in futility, at best.
Ask the family of 19 year old Renisha McBride what a Black female life is worth. Ask Rachel Jeantel about being perceived as an embarrassment because her dialect did not align with that of the dominant social stratum (and why Ebony and The Grio felt she needed new extensions, a manicure, and makeup). I could go on for days citing names and occurrences in which their is no other explanation for their crucifixion but their Blackness. Up against a larger discourse that is hell bent on marginalizing the presence, contributions, and value of anyone that does not pass a Eurocentric beauty standard, Vanessa Vandyke’s story makes sense (and it makes even more sense that Huffington Post filed her story under “Strange News”).
The truth is, there is a war going on – and no, I’m not being dramatic. There is a war going on, and the battlefronts are our minds, bodies, and spirits. And this war is by no means new. According to author and psychiatrist Dr. Frances Cress Welsing, “Inferiorization is the conscious, deliberate, and systematic process utilized specifically by a racist social system, as conducted through all of its major and minor institutions, to mold specific peoples within that system into “functional inferiors,” in spite of their true…potential for functioning.” When viewed through that lens, it is no wonder that the Black woman is attacked on all fronts. In a racist and patriarchal system, Black women are painted as anything from mammies to video vixens, ghetto ratchets, to sidepieces. Anything but human. Anything but a whole person, with a conscience, brain, and soul.
See, when we expand the scope of our thinking, a broader picture is painted. Yes, the “Black is Beautiful” mantra has been in circulation for over 40 years, and “Black Power” longer than that. But when does that rhetoric become meaningful action? When will we truly believe that our Blackness is beautiful and cannot be challenged by a socio-political narrative bent on systematic disinclusion? When will we truly believe that we possess the power and authority to reject the sentence that we’ve been served by dominant culture? I’m far from a feminist, and even farther from perfect. But I think it’s time for us as women who are supposed to be a part of a community to ask some critical questions. Too many folks already think our kinks, coils, and curls are just a fad. Hell, sometimes we can’t even take ourselves seriously due to infighting, e-backbiting, cyber-slander, and perceived texture hierarchies. Every second that we spend invalidating each other undermines any broader attempts at challenging the denigration of our Black womanhood – and reinforces the notion that we are appropriately labeled and dismissed.
More than 4C, 3A, and 2B, big choppers and transitioners, we are, and should be a community that aims to change the course of the conversation around Blackness as women. We have the platforms. We have the economic power. We have the potential. But without knowledge of self, self determination, and collectivism, all of our tools and resources are useless. And we certainly won’t be in the position to effectively support the Vanessas, Tianas, and Lamyas that are too young to understand the nature of the attacks against their existence.
For more from Christina check out her blog, The Mane Objective. You can also find her on Instagram and Facebook.
186 Responses
What’s even more insulting is that all the component parts of black female beauty (i.e., brown skin, full lips, curvaceous hips, full breasts) are all seen as beautiful when on a white female body. White women tan, inject their lips, and get ass and breast implants to look more like women of color, but at the same time won’t admit that women of color are beautiful. I guess that’s why self-esteem needs to come from self, and black women need to never chase some Europeanized ideal of beauty that they white women don’t even want.
I’ve raised my daughters and son to love their skins and hair. Whenever they want me to buy a doll or draw a picture of a person, they know ‘Mummy says the black one is the best’. My daughters have great hair, but when both rave about hair that completely straight or sways in the breeze, I point out the beauty of our hair, our features, our uniqueness. We as black women have to combat an antidote while our children are still forming opinions about standards of beauty. The fairytales I read my children featured dark skinned beauties, I rave about uncompromising black features and point them out. I try to bite my tongue rather than use the good hair, bad hair comments.
I’m so glad that there are black women who are aware of what’s going on in the world that we live. There is so much self-hatred in us as a people. Our firmest foundation should be rooted in self-love. This is where we start.
This is amazing
Definition of feminism: Feminism is a collection of movements and ideologies aimed at defining, establishing, and defending equal political, economic, cultural, and social rights for women.[1][2] This includes seeking to establish equal opportunities for women in education and employment. A feminist advocates or supports the rights and equality of women.
It’s Too bad you don’t perceive yourself as a feminist .
Yea I know the struggle of being a dark skinned black female…but its like white people don’t even need to make us feel inferior anymore, we do such a great job at ot ourselves, tearing down one another based on who’s lighter or who has “better” hair smh i’m just so sick of it…and where I’m located I notice that a large percentage of black guys and girls too prefer to date outside of their race, I mean i’m not against interracial dating ofcourse BUT when its a deliberate psychological preference based on the fact that you detest your own race and skin colour then…that’s kinda messed up sigh aw well
I will never allow the media’s odd standards of beauty tell me how attractive I am. I love being black. No whites, Asians, or anyone else can change that. I love everything about bein’ black, EVEN MY HAIR. Black women let go of weaves. If whites, Asians,or any other race isn’t running around with our hair on their heads, why , then black women do we wear their hair. Be proud of who you are black women. YOU are the mother of humanity. stop with the weaves and skin bleaching and embrace your beauty in all shades light AND dark.okay I’m done preaching. 😉
i will never again allow anybody’s warped standards of what is “acceptable” define my beauty. life is too short, take back your power ladies.
Amber what am I missing here? You seriously don’t think there’s an agenda by racist social systems including the main stream media?
I think you’ll find that Europeans very much believe their own hype as they are held to be the beauty standard, hence all the relaxer and weave sales that continue to go through the roof across the globe.
One woman’s self righteousness is another woman’s truth so please don’t get it confused there is nothing hidden about my perception of truth.
There is no self-victimisation here, I don’t endorse it. Would you rather we continue without even acknowledging the fact that we are very much being manipulated. I am not a lover of cry baby victim mentality. I am not suggesting we simply lay down, moan and except our lot in life or anyone’s view of our self which isn’t defined by self.
I am very much for fighting against it and reclaiming our sense of ownership on our image and all the things that make us wonderful. Not everyone is aware how much poison we have ingested; some of us are still walking with our eyes firmly closed.
Relaxing hair as we know is damaging, but as soon as our natural hair tries to break through we run to get it retouched because lord help us if our kinky curls come through. I’m not saying anything you are unaware of but surely you see that for many of our sisters perception of self is a result of the society we live in, which last time I checked wasn’t on our side. This is bigger that hair (although I feel this is still very important), it stretches into every facet of our lives.
Yes self-esteem starts with self, but don’t you know it’s hard to maintain that self-esteem when we are covertly and overtly being feed damaging messages. I’ll tell you what. Watch TV, look at a magazine, take note of billboards, immerse yourself in any media format of your choice and let me know how women from the African diaspora in particular are portrayed. I’ll bet you if we’re not singing, we’re shouting, if we’re not shouting we’re shaking something probably ass. Or being told we don’t speak English well enough, or getting shot.
Why is it do you think that in studies when little Black girls are presented with a black and a white doll they choose the white doll when asked which is nicer, kinder, prettier etc. and choose the black doll when asked which is bad and so on.
I don’t ask that anyone validates our beauty why would I? I simply ask that we are not ALWAYS portrayed as brainless, ugly, shouting, aggressive or highly sexual. We don’t control much of the media so yes this is a tall order but one that I think is achievable if we do it for ourselves. If we want to see a change yes we must do it ourselves but don’t for one second think there isn’t an agenda that we must fight against.
I really do hope I don’t come across as rude, freedom of opinion is king and I respect yours but seriously, cahoots is the name of the game and these days it isn’t even that subtle.
The world does have lots of important things to worry about and this is one of them. You all don’t have to agree that’s just how I see it.
Living in the UK I had not heard about a lot of these stories. Crimes against Africans don’t make the news too much here, because as we know quite frankly the powers that be don’t give a f!*ck.
Michelle, yes you are right we should be wise and old enough to define our own beauty, but you only need take a walk, get on a bus,train, whatever and see the multitude of long straight swaying hair on African women (sorry I usually refer to all black people as African.)Do you think think these women should just get a grip, all of a sudden be more aware of their own virtues? That would be nice but please bare in mind we are being actively, consistently and relentlessly manipulated into thinking our beauty is anything but.
The fact is that Christina is right, there is a war being waged against us and no this isn’t too dramatic. We are told we are the opposite of what beauty is. How many times have we seen hair adverts which say “Banish that Frizz!” Or “Having a bad hair day?” Along with a shampoo which eradicates any kind of “Frizz” or undesirable curl!
This website is the very best I’ve seen (and as we know there are many!)As it brings these issues to the forefront and also helps celebrate our particular type of diverse and gorgeous beauty. More importantly it not only focuses on our beauty but also on our brains and multitude of other talents. We are not reduced to big booty shaking women or mammies.
We are so much more and yes Christina, America, the UK, in fact the world actively suppresses this reality to keep us with low self esteem and firmly in our place. At the bottom of all and any hierarchy and complacently lost…..Yes I think my rant is over now.
Samyia
No one is being manipulated into anything Samyla! My god, even white women don’t believe their own hype, yet black women are going into debt trying hard to live up to an image they will NEVER attain. Yes, get a grip (if you can)! But more importantly, stop supporting self-victimization through propaganda disguised as righteous indignation.
Honestly, it is not up to the world to validate the beauty of the African and African-descendent. It is up to the African to take back and define their own beauty.
I am reminded of Mary Mcleod Bethune. First in her family born out of slavery, went on to be a great teacher despite the onslaught of bigotry and poverty. Now has a college named after her. If she had the cry baby victim mentality of the modern day black women, blacks would probably still be illiterate!
When are black women going to grow up and recognize that self-esteem begins with self? The world has more important things to worry about (like global warming and nuclear war) to be in cahoots regarding black women and our hair/beauty.
Don’t confuse consumerism with a war on our self image. Ppl will say anything to make a buck. It is now up to black women to decide if they want to continue buying into the hype.
I agree with you 1000%. The victim-mentality is NOT ding us any favors nor making a damn difference. You cannot wait for the world to validate your aesthetics or existence. True power comes when we can do it for ourselves.
This comment is ridiculous. I don’t understand why it’s so hard for people to acknowledge the tremendous impact mainstream media has on our perceptions of beauty, of desirability, of worthiness. Turn on the TV, open a magazine and count how many black women you see. What do they look like? Are they diverse in skin color, in hair texture, in behavior? Probably not.
You can sit here and blame black women for “buying into consumerism” or whatever, as if that is exclusive to black women and not something all people (even white women, as you pointed out) do, but realize this: black women don’t yet have the capital or power to control our own images. We have no say in how we’re portrayed to the public. We can fight back, create positive representations of ourselves, love ourselves, and many do despite everything. But all of that often gets overlooked for more sensational portrayals of black women. Now tell me, why is it black women’s fault that the world is more willing to accept the worst depictions of us?
We can all sit here and pretend that what the media has to say about black women has no effect on how we perceive ourselves, that the only thing that matters is our self-esteem and confidence. We could do that, but we’d just be fooling ourselves. If it were that easy, websites like this wouldn’t be needed. Natural hair wouldn’t be a “trend” and it wouldn’t be “news”. We wouldn’t have black is beautiful movements and we wouldn’t have black girls rock events. We wouldn’t have stories like the ones above if all we needed to do was “love ourselves more”.
Admitting the impact of socialization is not weakness. It’s not victimization. We don’t grow up in vacuums, isolated from others. We interact with people every day and what they think, what they believe is true, effects what we believe to be true as well. If you think that what your friends said about black women, what your family said about black women, what magazines, TV shows and movies said about black women has had absolutely no impact on what you think about black women then you’re either lying or ignorant.
Black women face obstacles that no other race of women has to deal with. No other race of women are constantly told that all of their natural features, their hair, their lips, their bodies, their skin color are inherently ugly, especially compared to everyone else’s. No other race of women has psychological studies that “prove” they are the ugliest race, that they are least “dateable”. That matters to black girls who grew up seeing that the pretty women, the most loved women, were always white and blonde. That matters to black girls who hear “I just don’t find black women pretty” before they’ve even hit puberty themselves. That can’t just be willed away once those girls become women.
Having travelled all over the world, it is not just black women who are told they are not beautiful enough. Yes there is the Blond-haired-blue-eyed standard that no other race of women will be able to attain. But in Asia there is the skin-bleaching all across Asia and plastic surgery and dyeing of the hair as they are told by their own men they are not desirable enough. I have read an article in na Indian publication where in India the men have outrightly told women they are not marriageable if they are not light skinned … In the end, men from all corners of the globe are influenced by this poison
All I have to say is preach on it.
America is insignificant to what I think of myself nor what my outer apperance should look like!
If people have issues with themselves then they are easily convinced that they should represent what caucasian supremecy wants them to look like, but as we should be older now and much wiser, we should have already developed our own foundation for self and what we should naturally look like!
Don’t you agree?
Peace
Thank you, Michelle, for being one of the FEW not ensconced in self-victimization.
Hey, this you aren’t Michelle Obama, are you??? :0
Unfortunately our male counterparts are consistently in agreement and often support these negative thoughts. Natural brothers only want our lightest sisters with their more accepted natural curls.light hating on dark dark hating on light.let’s stop the madness within ourselves first.
Exactly, our brothers need to work on this as well, they’ve got it worse than we do, which why most of them prefer light-skinneded or anything other than black. There is a reason for that and it ain’t “always” love, it’s that in their eyesight white is right and black is whack when it comes to beauty.
If youre going to blame black men blame their black mothers too. Theyre the ones teaching them this. and perpetuating the “good hair” and “bad hair”crap and calling their own sons hair nappy and bad.
Sadly, I don’t think black men -want- to work on this problem. Black men have deserted us.
Victim much, easyreader? It’s been my experience that black women ALWAYS attack each other’s hair in a dispute. WE set the standard for what everyone thinks about US. How about that for a concept? I black women had kept on wearing natural hair once the 60’s arrived instead of falling for the home perm and jheri curl, the rest of the world (including these natural brothers you speak of) would have been caught up by now.
I am constantly dismayed by ppl with the potential for extreme personal power opting out for preferred victim status.
B.S. you the type of woman that always blame other women. you are male dominated.
You said it! As a matter of fact, I am a lighter mixed sister. Believe me we are not even exotic enough for MOST black men anymore. I hear them talking shit all t he time, about how they want a Latina girl, no black traits not even mixed girls are good enough. Especially if the man is light skin black with curly hair he thinks he is the prize no matter how small his pecker is.
One guy told me I had nappy hair and I’m a 3c with light skin. So let me say this, brothers are trip pen lately. I am hearing a lot of black men insult black women more and more. Lately. One guy who came from Germany, he was black he actually bragged about getting “Trini Indian girl ” with good hair If she looks Indian or Latina or Asian she is good. If she black , mixed light skin, they can’t stand us. There are some good black men but not many. Sadly this is true. It’s mostly the older generation who love black women beauty.
dont worry..its happening here in trinidad too.black men here only want the indian girls,local white girls or the ones who look like they have hardly a drop of “black” blood.and if they have kids with the woman the child is sported as an accessory because of the “good hair”
I’ve stopped caring what black men think. I stick with my black sisters and that is all.
First off that fool is not a black man but a boy. A real black man upholds his women.
I hate to break it to you, but this article IS feminism and it’s ok 🙂
Right on! When did women become convinced that advocating for their equal rights was a bad thing?
Thanks for sharing. Unfortunately, such an article remains necessary…..
great article!
There really are some evil negative women on this site. But anywho I thought this article was insightful and empowering. I do not feel it victimized Black women, it simply spoke to the issues we face.
The writer sounds like a feminist to me.. Don’t worry – it’s not a dirty word. 🙂 when it comes to why Miley twerked (which sounds like a twisted children’s book), let’s take a look at MTV and the media’s acquiescence at objectifying women of all shapes, sizes, and colors… While highlighting black women as some kind Of background dancer accessory. Why was this possible? Because we let it. It is up to us to tell the minority vote of magazine editors and stylists what we think is beautiful and to tell them that real beauty is determined by what is between your ears and and what is created by your hands and deeds and not exclusively on the outside.
Let’s keep it 100: proper English should be required from everyone despite ethnic make up. Ignorant slang etc is just ridiculous and, rightfully so, makes one look like a fool. The so called “black way of speaking” screams idiot.
this is a good article, however, this issue isn’t only common in America. It’s an epidemic in africa. Women continue to burn their scalp just to have straight hair. they wear weaves in the hot sun, relax their hair for their wedding, bleach their skin and so on and so forth. I mean who are they trying to measure up to, the majority of people in sub-sahara africa are all BLACK! how about the way men and women put each other down? So miley cyrus twerked, who first came up with the dancing? White people?
I have never been made feel inferior by White people, only by Black people who measure your beauty standards by your skin share and hair texture.
The hip pop videos and BLACK movies weren’t made by white people. If black people want to see a change, they have to start by changing their mentality and character. I mean i’m tired of being portrayed as an angry Black woman with so much attitude because that’s how the TV portrays us.
themanecaptain.blogspot.ca
Apparently he is if he is on here posting….. Smh!
beautifully written article. it makes so much sense and your words are truly inspiring and provocative- in the best possible way.
the black man is the worst enemy of black women in America. They devalue you and persecute white women as if they were trophies.
[img]https://bglh-marketplace.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/bonecaterror2.jpg[/img]
persecute or pursue?
Thanks for the laugh, you get a thumbs up.
Wow. Well say that then! I couldn’t have said it better.
If you feel like a victim, then you will be. First off, black women, ladies of color, we need to get our self in order, then we need to grab hold to that friend we have out of wack, then to the female that we may not necessarily like, etc. you get my point. We need to uplift each other. Instead of saying B^$%% you bad, no woman, lady you are beautiful. Teach the young ladies to walk proud of who they are, because we hold unbelievable amounts of power that could guide everyones actions to a positive direction. I don’t want to hear about how men judge us and are trifling, well guess what, it’s our fault. We have accepted, and allowed everyone to see us a fake, superficial, unreal, untrue to ourselves, so how can they respect us when we settle for less and others criticism and mess. The time is now to start acting like women with respect and dignity and get back to the queens we really are, and that starts with acting like a lady and stop letting what people think guide our actions. It’s our hair, they don’t have to touch it, so what if they don’t like, of well, thats their problem not ours
It’s a constant and sometimes draining effort but we must get our validation from internal sources. We must remind ourselves that the media is invested in a narrative that exalts whiteness and denigrates otherness. We must take the money we aren’t spending on weaves and perms and invest it in better health, education and leisure opportunities but there will be days when our resolve falters. That is when we will need to turn to each other so lets accept ourselves so that we can embrace each other. Thanks for an empowering article.
Maybe it comes from growing up in a society where I knew I belonged….but honestly all this fuss over natural hair???? As Africans….note I said “Africans”….we have been sporting “natural” hairstyles for centuries, out of both choice and necessity but you don’t hear us making a song and dance about it! For goodness sake there’s bigger issues than the state of my hair….it only becomes an issue if black people make it am issue with all these “empower yourself”, free yourself with natural hair yada yada yada #yawn!!! Really, you want to be defined by hair???? You see natural hair as the thing that will revolutionise thinking and change perceptions???
I went natural because I wanted a change and to try out different hairstyles not because I wanted to sign up to some movement. Bring on relaxed hair and the weaves if only to silence the natural hair brigade!!
I think you’re missing the point, this is about black beauty that incorporates natural hair representation and if you are talking about Africans accepting natural hair maybe in some parts but definitely not others – I know this FIRSTHAND!
What fuss? This is a blog piece expressing how she feels, you can do whatever you want to your hair no one is stopping you, but the state of someone’s hair will not silence their opinion.
There’s nothing worse than an ignorant fool trying to belittle others and shut down meaningful discussion. And please don’t try to re-write reality. We’ve all seen the metric ton pile up of weaves and perm and activator and bleach creams around the diaspora. Please stop this pitiful attempt at a crab-in-bucket, it’s embarrassing.
And btw, #thisisnottwitter
Elle, you are nothing but an angry angry person looking for validation for your anger. Intelligent ppl will not give it to you. You are the most embarrassing thing in this thread.
No she is not. She makes great sense. Stop insulting this women in one breath and telling her not to be a victim from the other side of your face.
“Ask Rachel Jeantel about being perceived as an embarrassment because her dialect did not align with that of the dominant social stratum.” LOL
This coming from a ppl that will tell a Korean to speak English in a minute!
For every black girl sent home because of her hair there are dozens more who are not. Who’s fault is it that black women have been so ashamed of their hair for so long that that straight brittle stuff was perceived as the norm? Yeah, blame society, cuz black women don’t have minds of their own! Well, guess what sparky, the world isn’t used to natural hair and it’s going to take a minute for it to catch up. In the interim, it would be constructive if black women would stop whining all the time and actually take the time to affect some change. The only historical figure that has attacked black women for their hair is black women (and the despicable men who agreed with them). I know it’s a painful truth many of you can’t swallow and that’s ok. I understand many of you need to be victims as it fills you with a sense of purpose. But these hair issues are not global, they are localized. Black women have always been in charge of their image (whether they want to admit it or not. Show me a law prohibiting natural hair!), and now that that image is changing black women are going to see that change is just as difficult for some outsiders as it is for many black women.
AGREEE!!!!!!! No one’s forcing us to put weaves or perms on our heads. Girl we need to be friends or somethin lol
You agree with a woman (or man) who calls another woman a sl*t?
There’s one born every minute, smdh.
“I know it’s a painful truth many of you can’t swallow and that’s ok. I understand many of you need to be victims as it fills you with a sense of purpose. But these hair issues are not global, they are localized. Black women have always been in charge of their image (whether they want to admit it or not. Show me a law prohibiting natural hair!)”
1. These “hair issues” actually are global – try traveling, experiencing the world beyond a keyboard and self-righteous, narcissistic vitriol – you’ll run into reality.
2. Only true “victims” zealously call out others for strength they wish they had. Try allying yourself with your sisters and not ridiculing and tearing them down like an enemy.
3. Lastly, try reading a BOOK! There’s a whole history of the world that began pre-Kanye. ‘No laws prohibiting natural hair’? You’ve just exposed your raving ignorance. Research Jim Crow and it’s sociopolitical legacy to the modern age, and don’t rely on Wiki.
“try traveling, experiencing the world beyond a keyboard and self-righteous, narcissistic vitriol – you’ll run into reality.”
That makes sense. Her reality is not going to be the same as your reality, nor mine. So um yeah…—> _/ (this one is for you) O_o
Elle, you ignorant sl*t!
“1. These “hair issues” actually are global – try traveling, experiencing the world beyond a keyboard and self-righteous, narcissistic vitriol – you’ll run into reality.”
Have done so and have found that the discrimination had more to do with the color of my SKIN not my hair texture. And, as such, was representative of the stupidity of the other party, not a reflection of myself. What a concept, huh?
BTW 100% of derogatory remarks regarding my hair texture have ALWAYS originated from blacks.
“2. Only true “victims” zealously call out others for strength they wish they had. Try allying yourself with your sisters and not ridiculing and tearing them down like an enemy.”
Written like a true victim! If you had any strength at all you would not be supporting a mentality of self-oppression. I ally myself with all sisters who have the strength to define themselves.
“3. Lastly, try reading a BOOK! There’s a whole history of the world that began pre-Kanye. ‘No laws prohibiting natural hair’? You’ve just exposed your raving ignorance. Research Jim Crow and it’s sociopolitical legacy to the modern age, and don’t rely on Wiki.”
Elle, you ignorant sl*t! You read a book. I’m too busy enjoying my life wearing my natural hair and NOT being ashamed of it! Pantene commercials do not influence my love of self.
By the way, how long ago was Jim Crow? Blacks got over laughing in barrels and you want to convince me they can’t get over being ashamed of their own hair????
I suggest you READ some books, starting with the great legacy of Mary Mcleod-Bethune. Learn what it’s like to triumph over real adversity.
The FACT is, black women still have issues regarding their hair because of BLACK WOMEN.
If you’re still quoting Jim Crow in 2013 (soon to be 2014) you are the one stuck.
Okay, rachel jeantel was an embarrassment. Im so sick of black people defending that dumb, mumbling piece of crap. She only made trayvon’s case worse. She had an attitude and acted like she didnt want to seek justice for her friend. I might get some thumbs down for this comment but honestly could care less.
Tyki, you proly will get tons of thumb downs, but I’m giving you thousands of cyber thumbs up for not being part of the sheep parade. Kudos, honey!
Thanks chica!!!!! :))
This is what I was saying, instead downing a sister, why don’t you embrace her. That goes for anyone that you feel can be better. Someone can probably say the same thing about you. If you keep putting people down, they gonna stay down, try something else, lift up
Pfffft she put HERSELF down acting like that inside of the court. You know how ignorant that girl sounded?? How ridiculous.
You on don’t want sisters embraced. You want self-victimization embraced.
i didn’t think too highly of her myself, but i really do think that she’s merely a product of her environment.
I believe things will get better just as long as we instill the right values and and mindset in future generations. Also, there is nothing wrong with being a feminist. Feminist ideals promote the strength that helps us to press through the ignorance of others.
I completely agree with every word of this. They will do anything to ensure that we hate ourselves and our God-given beauty.
Yes, Ebony. “They” have so much power over you it’s a wonder you have the strength to crawl out of bed each and every wretched morning.
As long as you embrace that tired victim mentality you will always be under “their” command.
I bet your ancestors are rolling over in their graves slapping their foreheads over the futility of their sacrifice.
You’re attacking Black women for talking about their feelings. This is how life is for Black women.
Excellent article. If our beauty is inferior to eurocentric beauty, then why does it threatened them so much? Dr. Frances Cress Welsing has been wearing an Afro since I was first made aware of her (the mid-80’s). Whenever we start doing something different(or Blacks in general), the changes become a permanent movement, & then everybody else follows what we do. Though it seems negative now, the standard of beauty is changing, & the eurocentric standard is coming to an end. Yes we do need to use our beauty as a platform for not just educating on natural hair care, but using natural products for our skin, hair, food, etc. For example, coconut oil can be used not only on your hair, skin, but it is healthy to digest. We can really, positively change the landscape if we just channel our talents/resources together.
A very important and timely piece – building a collective sense of self love in a denigrating world is difficult, thus elevating the importance of this community beyond the trivia of hair…
Great article. I love your comment that we have the platform. If we want to see change we have to be vocal, no matter how uncomfortable others may feel. I hate that black isn’t viewed as beautiful by the majority of America but if we all start to believe it ourselves they won’t be able to tell us anything different.
Black isn’t “viewed as beautiful by the majority” because black does not sell to white consumerism! Can’t you ppl get it through your thick heads??
I really enjoyed this article. Keep up the good work!
Thank you so much for the article. One of the girls that you speak of is my daughter, Vanessa. Your words are so eloquent and so true! There are so many little Vanessas in the world, and this truly is something that needs to be repeated over and over again.
When I was a little girl I had two short hairstyles that was different from the other kids. The first one was a Mushroom cut and as it grew out it was curly kinky and would shrink to my head. I had a friend (Caucasian) made an observation that my hair not only looked, but felt like a sponge I was known as sponge head all through 5th grade. It was a bit of a distraction, but kids are going to tease me for what ever, I’m short too. The second time I left my box braids in for too long and my hair formed knots and my mother had to cut them out, cutting my hair into a little afro. I went o school and no one really cared, but it was a black boy that decided to lead the teasing. As it grew out my teacher (White Female) not realizing what other type of teasing it could bring gave me the Sally Wright award because my hair kind of resembled a helmet. I was then Helmet head half way through 7th grade. The principal didn’t tell my parents to do anything with my hair. He corrected them on the spot and we kept on moving. I think that is where that one school went wrong. I’ve never been made fun of because of my body or the shade of my skin. Now I have been discriminated against because I’m black (mainly in expensive stores), but thankfully I haven’t experienced any of the other hardships. My mother relaxed my hair at 10 because it was easier for her to do. My hair was a long process especially since it was past shoulder length. She had to do mine and my sisters hair and get us off to schools o she could go to work. Then she started going to night school so she could get her Master Degree. Normally before she went to night school she would do our hair at night and wrap it up in a silk scarf and then our hair was pretty much done just put a little grease or gel on it to lay down the fly aways and we’d go. Well she would be tired that she tried her luck with doing our hair in the morning. My sister’s was a breeze mine was not, so she permed it just to make morning routine a little quicker. If you’re wondering why my Father didn’t pitch in he was always away with the military then when he came home he had no idea how to do little girls hair, he was the reason why I had to get the mushroom cut. lol I forgive him lol. I kept doing relaxers, but it wasn’t because I was denying ANYTHING it just became routine. Actually if it wasn’t for the fact that I had a horrible Paul Mitchell Relaxer that broke off my hair and that was the alarm of, No More! At least not now, you never know, but right now I’m natural and if I choose to relax my hair its not because I’m denying any black part of me, its just a change up.
I don’t think that America is saying that our beauty isn’t beautiful. But I have noticed then when they try to make an effort we attack them. because they didn’t do something right or convey something right. Something is always wrong.
I think that some of the problem is that sometimes we tell each other that we are not beautiful because of something whatever it is. My sister was told that she would be so much prettier if she lightened her skin color. She is this gorgeous pure chocolate color, so there is no need, but a black lady told her that. Needless to say it did cause a complex in her, but it took a white boyfriend to tell her how gorgeous she was and that she didn’t need to change a thing about herself. Not to mention we need to fix ourselves as in how we act and relate to others as well as each other. We are depicted as angry loud “race trolls” (I’ve seen so many people call us that lately on blogs all sorts of ugliness) with a ton of kids and different baby daddies, that can’t hold an intelligent conversation, poppin smackin, finger waving, and chicken necking etc. you’ve heard it; because unfortunately some of our people are like that, so OF COURSE they have to put us all in the same mix. Even though their is a solid good percentage of us that is not like that AT ALL! However I have gotten more issues with my own black people because I speak proper English and walk with my shoulders back and my head held high, so to them I’m a coconut. I’m also Native American and want to express that at times and I’m badgered for that too, but I choose to show and express more of me then just my black side. I am a melting pot of so much that I recently discovered and just because I choose to embrace that part of me doesn’t mean I’m abandoning my black side. I’m choosing to show me, in all its forms and bloodlines. Just because I speak proper English and some Spanish my own people call me names for that. What’s wrong with being slightly bilingual, cultured, and well rounded?! I’m an educated black woman (as I’m sure all of you are) that had parents that worked there butts off to provide me with a decent education, and a since of pride for who I am, no matter what I wear, what my hair looks like or even who I date. I was in the Navy I dated a Chaldean, White and a Latino guys. I ended up marrying a half white half black man, but that’s nor here or there. All of a sudden I’m racist against my own kind. No not at all, I just happened to have a lot in common those men and they approached me with respect, so I dated them. They actually asked for my name when fist meeting me they didn’t call me Shorty, or Lil’ Mama, they respected me enough to ask my name.
As for some of these places telling us that we can’t have dreads and what not. They are just going by what our hair used to look like before spending our hard earned money to get bone straight hair like White folks and even some Latinos ( some of the females in my family wanted the hair like Latinos not really White people, but I’m not going to make that into an argument). We did not always have that hair (the bone straight hair). We made the choice to do that and then it really caught on so we all followed the trend until a few other people of influence decided to go natural then it brought awareness to those of us that was on Creamy Crack to let it go. I’m not speaking to those who have always been natural. Those who have always had natural hair that’s awesome for staying that way. I’m talking to the ones that made the change to relax it then go natural again. We realized it was ridiculous to put our hair through that for all that money we were paying, so we decided to make a change. Some did the BC and other’s (like myself) transitioned, but we are all natural and that’s what matters. Not to mention the extra money we have to spend cause we aren’t doing relaxers. However those who are perfectly happy with the relaxers, we tend to look down on or shame them because they haven’t joined the natural cause. We need to accept that not everyone is ready to be natural or want to and let it go. Not even say how they are giving into white society or whatever. Just let them be who they want to be natural or not.
Now what is going on in America with our hair is nothing compared to what we do to each other. Back to America (sorry went on a tangent) America was so used to seeing us look like them (And we were use to it too). Now that we are choosing to wear our natural texture, they don’t know what to make of it. To them it could look “un-kept” “wild” what have you, but as time goes on and more people start wearing it natural, I’m hoping that America will shift with us. I was in the military and they are slowly allowing Females to wear braids, dreads and other natural styles, but we still have to follow the guidelines meaning no faddish styles. For example zigg zagg parts or stuff buzzed into our hair that’s faddish. No Rhianna Red hair We were not born with Rhianna Red hair. No Blonde hair. I knew one black lady that was born with dirty blonde hair and she had to bring in a baby picture as proof that she was born with dirty blonde hair (being Black, White and Hispanic). It was funny to see the people questioning her having to eat their words. They want our braids, dreads, cornrows etc. to be uniformed going forward and back which was fine by me. If you wore them out they can’t go pass the nape of your neck if you wanted longer braids dreads etc. You have to put it in a neat bun because its safety, you don’t want your head getting snatched back because you’re hair wasn’t secured tight to your head. So if the military can adjust I’m sure these other place can do the same. Well I’m hoping. Here’s hoping.
Excellent article with many things we need to think about. But I do think it’s a bit harsh to include the Rachel Jeantel makeover as one of many examples of society saying BW’s beauty is not acceptable. That makeover was well intended, made her feel uplifted, and and it was not a natural-to-straight hair makeover (she’d been wearing it relaxed already).
I am a South African and wish that the ladies here can also open their eyes and accept who we are in terms of our hair.I don’t blame Miley for what she is doing but blame the industry and our black men,especially African American man in the music industry,they are the ones perpetuating and encouraging this kind of behavior,they are the ones ridiculing our bodies and making money out it and then we expect other people to treat us with respect and dignity,when our own brother do not,Miley knows nothing better,WE should teach her abt US and who we are ….,
4. We also need to stop seeking approval from white America! How can we expect a group so removed from our identity to understand who we are? Self-love should be enough love.
I agree with you, but I have never really made to feel less or not beautiful by White America (well other than in expensive stores where I man not be dressed like I belong there they feel like I didn’t make enough to shop, but once I started buying up that changed their mind… it always does). Have Whites pointed out my difference from them? Yes, but So far I haven’t had that sort of experience with white people, they seem to accept me better than my own, even sometimes my own family memebers.
Amen! 😀
1. If we want ppl to respect us as black women we have to respect ourselves. No one made those women get on stage with Miley Cyrus. No one makes Nikki Minaj wear blonde wigs and get butt implants. Those are those individuals’ choices. We all know there are everyday women who think that what they see on Real Housewives of ATL and any other ratchet show depicting black women as angry, vixens, mammies, or any other stereotype is real and they live it out in their daily lives. Sad thing is, some of us (who know better) are entertained by those images. We give them life by giving them t.v. ratings, buying those magazines, buying those awful weaves, supporting “artists” who reinforce every stereotype that we detest. So stop giving your support to these images so that these images will stop being false examples of who we are.
2. We as women are the examples for our little girls and the women who they should aspire to be and to our little boys and for the type of women they should grow to love and seek as their mates. So WE NEED TO DO BETTER! If we are conflicted they too will be conflicted with their own self-image and how they view each other boy to girl, man to woman.
3. We live in a world full of insecurities. White women, Latinas, Asian women, black women all have insecurities. We are a threat because if white women aren’t allowed to feel secure then black women sure as hell aren’t going to be allowed to flaunt around with their pride, wearing their beauty for the world to see and being damn proud of it. But keep doing it! Be proud! Be beautiful! Sadly, the hatred you receive means you are doing something right. It means you are doing what everyone has been afraid to do or doesn’t know how. Be you in this cloudy world filled with false images! Live your beautiful truth!
“We are a threat because if white women aren’t allowed to feel secure then black women sure as hell aren’t going to be allowed to flaunt around with their pride”
“Sadly, the hatred you receive means you are doing something right”
Just…YES!
Valid point, but I think Women in general need to support each other. No race of women is better than the other and we both have the right to Peacock once in a while. True a lot of the times the hatred and stuff that people receive is due to jealousy and insecurities from those attacking us, but we do some shade throwing ourselves. So I guess we all have some work to do in a way and then help others with their insecurities. People being mean to one another is never going to stop, but at least we don’t always have to be apart of it.
Well said Poshnera. Every nationality have their personal insecurities with out the world and other cultures weighing in on it. Well Some of the hate we dish can be valid, but yeah if someone is getting down on you for nonsense than yeah its because you are doing something right or more interesting then them and the attention has shifted from them to you and some people always have to be in the spotlight to feel validated.
I completely agree about everything. I just want to REALLY co-sign one point though: It is 100% true that black women are threatening because we are not afraid to step outside of “the box.” Because we know how to work with everything the good Lord gave us, our versatility is unmatched in my opinion. And that’s scary for a woman relying on the same bleach-blonde, blue eyed, DD look to make her feel her best. I know I stand out (in a good way!) because no one can do it like me. And every time I look around my law school at us few black women, and we all look different from day to day, and we are all rocking straight, curly, braided, weaved, whatever… I’m reaffirmed that we are the ones to be emulated.
Then why are White women collectively respected even though Miley Cyrus gets on stage and shakes her ass, most of the famous porn stars are White women, the people you see on the news accused of killing their children are more likely White women, they suffer from eating disorders more often than any other race of women (but especially more than Black women) and they are more likely to suffer from aestetic dysphorias that result is hundreds of thousands of dollars in plastic surfer?
White women participate in all sorts of things that most people don’t consider “respectable” and display behaviors consistent with lacking self-love (arguably more than other races of women) and they are not generally denigrated the way Black women are. I get the sentiment but this whole “if we love our selves other people would respect us” trope is constantly proven wrong. There are too many examples that show this is not correct, and it doesn’t help us at all to engage in victim-blaming on ourselves.
I can agree with almost everything in this article except the “proper english” statement. Just because you use proper english does not mean you’re trying to sound white, it means you are educated and use the brain you were born with. There is no such thing as “talking white” or “talking black” either!
Why is it that when a black person carries their self with respect & class and speaks as such, they are always labeled as trying to be white?! And it’s usually always by our own people too! I can think of no better example of slave mentality. -_- Ignorance or “ghettoness” does not equal blackness, it only echoes the volumes of limitations that black people put on themselves because the devalue their self worth and what they are capable of. There are black people today who won’t even seek a higher education or try something new because to them that’s not what black people do, this is a disgrace to all those who came before us that protested and marched for us to not only have an education, but also have a chance at a better life like everyone else.
There will always be oppression or some ignorant person, black, white, or green, there to hold you back out of jealousy or envy or whatever, that much is certain, but it’s up to all of us to not let that limit how far we go in life and what we accomplish. You can be black, educated, use proper english, wear your natural hair and STILL be successful in this world if YOU chose to be. But you have to be your own mold and stop trying to fill someone else’s.
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Clarissa I often wonder the same thing. I think again it also comes down to how we are portrayed in movies and shows, music the list goes on and on. I called a braid shop to make an appointment and when I showed up the Ethiopian lady said, “Oh I thought you were white”. Ok what does white sound like?
Wow, I would have asked her when was the last time she had a white woman come to her shop to get her hair braided? -_- Sounds like she was just saying that to say it in an attempt to get under your skin.
You missed her point which was that the politics of respectability will not save you from racism. And before I get started I’m going to do one big “NOT ALL xyz PEOPLE” so that I don’t have to use this disclaimer throughout the rest of this comment.
She is not saying that “proper english” is talking white (there is a such thing as talking White & it has nothing to do w/grammar and everything to do w/tone of voice and inflection. Black people (and other POC) do this because they think it sounds intelligent or nice). She is saying that doing things considered respectable (such as speaking grammatically correct Standard American English vs African American Vernacular, Southern Vernacular etc.) will not save you from racism. I am in my final year of my four year degree and have been called all kinds of ni**ers and Black b*tches by White people with out me having to open my mouth because racist people assume I’m less than them no matter what. They don’t know if I attend Harvard or if I’m a HS drop out. I’m a Black woman, and that’s all they care about.
And, quite frankly, a person should not be racist whether all Black people are “ghetto” or are all “classy” (whatever that respectability mess means).
The way you carry yourself and the way you speak is an indicator of your intellect or lack there of not the race in which belong. My point is that black people need to stop being looked upon as “unblack” simply because they didn’t allow themselves to be brainwashed like the majority of our people into thinking that what’s in the music videos or the bleached skin of “black” entertainers or whats from the latest Tyler Perry presents stable is who we are and that how black a person is can be found in how they speak or how relaxed their hair is. It’s very sad that you think that there is a such thing as “talking white”, proper grammar does not equal white just as improper grammar does not equal black and I would hope that there would be a stronger driving force behind a POC speaking grammatically correct, such as intelligence and upbringing rather than the fear of imminent racism. Some people are racist in this world, that’s nothing new, there are plenty of bigoted black people out there that are just as ignorant and stupid as any white racist you may have faced, how many of our own people would say you think you’re better than them or you’re trying to be white for simply seeking a higher education and bettering yourself? If you chose to let other people effect how you experience the world and what races of people you associate with, then it’s you who loses every time.
Further, the black community in America is the one that is bent on convincing black women that our beauty is not acceptable with relaxers, weaves, skin bleaching, light-skin vs dark-skin mentality and the blatant euro-centric white washing of black beauty magazines that are labeled “for us, by us” read by women and young girls alike all across this country. We are our greatest enemy because so many of us cannot love and accept and appreciate what we see reflecting back at us in the mirror everyday, and that’s what has to change before anything else can.
To begin, another “NOT ALL XYZ PEOPLE” disclaimer.
I specifically said that “talking white” has nothing to do with grammar. Studies have shown that Black people (specifically Black men) will raise the tone (not volume) of their voices, and add an inflection on the end of their words (sounds as though they are asking a question) because it’s sounds less threatening and we (Black people) have a natural lower register than White people, so when we “talk white” it is all about changing our tones, and nothing to do with grammar. (The inflection thing is something that White-American women do, as it is seen as less threatening and is why POC women like AA and Latinas often are seen as rude or mean, because we speak very directly w/out the inflection)
Black people may assume that I am going to be looking down on them upon meeting me and hearing the way I speak and learning of my background and this is completely valid. Why? Because Black people do in fact (consciously but mostly subconsciously) think “White is right” and they believe that if they do things that are associated with White or that mostly White people have the best access to (such as living in an upscale neighborhood, attending a four year university, research opportunities etc.) that they are better than Black people who have not had these opportunities. These “proper”/”respectable”/’classy” Black people do, in fact, look down upon Black who are less educated, live in impoverished communities and like certain things that (like it or not) or virtually specifically derived from our culture (hip hop/rap, twerking and other types of dancing, soul food, I could go on and on). Black people from the same background as myself routinely adopt an arrogant attitude and are more than ready to associate themselves with Whiteness and demean other Black people.
All of that is tied into WHY Black people are the main perpetrators of denigrating Black beauty. We have been taught for 5 centuries that we are ugly, wrong etc. and that the Anglo standard of beauty the one to strive for. We do need to realize this, take our responsibility for it and make a change but one must recognize and understand that 500 years of engrained self-hatered is going to take a while to undo. Instead of going in on Black folks as horrible demeanors of their own beauty we need to, first, recognize our own biases and where they stem form, educate then work to change.
Lastly, I choose to be realistic. I grew up in a White neighborhood, attend a PWI and have associates of all sorts of backgrounds (race, sexuality, creed etc.). I use my brain and remember patterns but I’m living just fine, no one is dictating the way I choose to live my life, but everyone is effected by their experiences w/other people. These experiences help us form schemas so that we do not approach every situation as though we are encountering it for the first time and are able to use what becomes common sense to operate appropriately in social situations. I most certainly not losing at all and I’m experiencing life just fine.
Lather, rinse, and repeat.
I don’t know what the problem is. Sometimes I don’t even feel I live on this planet. If one day I feel like having a blond wig I get it, if I feel like rocking a fro I do it and so far even my own mother do not understand that I AM NOT MY HAIR, nor colour or any ethnicity or whatever, I am ME period. And the good thing about people going natural and everything is that maybe people will learn to be themselves and thats all. Sometimes I just don,t get why we are even talking of Black people white people… we are people that should be enough.
I see what your saying Missy and its funny cause not many people support what you are saying, which is to just be you, no matter what. What’s on your head doesn’t define you and we need to stop doing the white/ black type griping cause it really doesn’t solve anything. The only thing that we can do is be comfortable and happy with us. You are even acknowledging being natural if that is what you choose to be and people don’t support that. That’s funny to me. Very interesting indeed.
This article is the first article of real and true substance I have read in a while. Bravo to the authoress you inspire and lead the way for this generation and the next with pieces like this.
I’m really feeling this article…the other morning, I walked into a 7-Eleven with my natural curls popping and I was really feeling myself…then one of the clerks (a young emo looking white guy) says…”You should get a long straight weave…that would be really pretty on you”…after I told him that I didn’t wear weave and that all of these curls were my own natural hair, he gasped in awe as if it was impossible for a black woman to have her own hair and not need weave….the other female clerk gave him a look like “stfu”…sadly, he had no idea that is comment was an insult smh..for a split second, that guy had me second guessing my hairstyle that day…but I quickly got over it and chalked the whole thing up to pure ignorance…he didn’t mean any harm…he just didn’t know any better thanks to BET, Facebook, Twitter…hell, America!…thanks for this article!!!
I can ask any question I want. I’m not name calling. I just find it rather odd… 🙂
That was the best article I read in a long time. But I have to say that the denial some females have about being feminists is over my head. Being a feminist means you are in pursuit of rights for all marginalized groups, most likely ones you can relate to a little bit more, that is all. The perceptions some people have of bra burning and man hating is outdated and ignorant. I am a proud feminist, I love my black men, and I cooked mine Thanksgiving dinner. Lets be a little more open minded.
But see that just show you how everyone likes to lump people under the same umbrella. I have an Italian and Native American friend and he has long hair and its funny that everyone calls him a hippy. He isn’t and he takes offense when people call him that because he isn’t. You are so right when people think feminist they think bra burning, man hating, no pit shaving, earthy musty smellin woman who likes making trouble for anything masculine. All of us need to research things before we assume things or get to know a person before judging them. Sometimes we are wrong and that’s ok cause we are human, but it doesn’t hurt to expand your horizons and learn something new and different.
I agree with SOME of this article, first off… my opinion might be biased because although I am Black, all of the flack about me being natural came from other Black people, other races have given me nothing but compliments. Another thing is, this Miley Cyrus chick only continues to exist because we continue to comment on her… I could honestly care less, we care about her twerking etc because she is WHITE, what about all of the video girls and regular women that are Black that shake their a** every day on Vine? I honestly forgot about Miley because every time I get on twitter or Vine I see US .. not her, please stop giving the little girl attention. Although, I have not been personally attacked by people in positions of power I do find these situations very sad, however I do not think America as a whole (Or White America) is out to get me (when it comes to my beauty) YET.
Jsyk: I live on the East Coast, amongst a lot of naturals so I cannot speak for the rest of the country.
Honestly, AC, I think you are supporting the author’s whole point. I’m sure that the main people giving you flack for being natural are black. It makes perfect sense. It seems to me that, once you have invaded the consciousness of a people and convinced them of their inferiority, your job is done. They do all the work for you- holding EACH OTHER down, disparaging and disrespecting THEMSELVES and EACH OTHER.
This is a long one, even for me…consider yourselves warned… 😉
This article lifts my heart because it resembles the kinds of hair conversations I participated in back in the pre-blog Stone Age days of the Internet. So much of our discussion involved deconstructing, unpacking, and dismantling negative thinking and attitudes towards black beauty in general and black women’s hair in particular. From the beginning we declared that going natural involves both a physical and a mental transition, that staying natural requires a change in mindset, and that for many of us these transitions and changes constitute a “journey” in the true sense of the word.
With regards to America and its view of black women: As you indicated, Christina, it has ever been thus. Black women have always been seen as “less than”…and that’s when we ARE seen. We are rendered invisible in so many ways, and it’s the direct result of more than 600 years of racial superiority structures that were purposely designed to elevate certain people above others based solely on physical appearance.
In the totem pole of race and gender that really counts in America (no offense to nonblack POC), the combination of racism and sexism has placed black women at the bottom of the bottom. What happens when that bottom decides it no longer has to be on the bottom? The folks on top start getting very nervous. Their position depends on the bottom folks staying right where they are. So of course they’re not going to welcome or encourage any change…they like being on top! And they will actively lash out in order to keep things as they are.
Note that — as has already been mentioned in some of the comments — plenty of black folks, male and female, have been programmed to believe in the myth of white superiority and, by association, the myth of black inferiority. How many of us encountered disapproval from our own people because we stopped straightening our hair? Think about what they said and what their words implied. “Self-hate” doesn’t describe this adequately, and it goes way beyond hair: This is OUR CULTURE, which was literally built into our enslaved ancestors and passed down through the generations.
Fortunately, cultures and mindsets can change…they can transition into newer, better, healthier forms. What we may be seeing (because I agree with the commenter who said that the real proof will come with the generation of little girls and boys growing up right now) are the tiny beginnings of true black power. At a very basic level, black power was always about getting out from under the bottom and asserting our own worth independent of others. That is serious paradigm-shaking behavior and it’s freaking some folks right on out. Let ‘em freak out. Change is here and it won’t be stopped.
You are so right.
Damn! That’s a sexy comment! 😀
Yessssssss speak girl speak!
You speak so eloquently and accurately. The perpetuation of the “inferior black woman” is further bolstered by the black celebrity. Look at people like Beyonce, Rihanna, Nicki Minaj, even Kelley Rowland has gotten lighter than when she first started out, and the list goes on and on. These ones have transformed their natuarl features through makeup, chemical procedures, skin bleaching,surgeries and blatanly lied about it. They make claims about being mixed, namely Beyonce and Rihanna who have been using skin lightening, who have tried to make out their increasingly lighter skin is because of having white or partly white reltives. Of cause they were never on the darker spectrum of black, but certainly this whiting out of their skin in the last couple of years cannot be denied. All adding to the notion that white is right, best and most to be admired.
well on the flip side there are less pigmented people tanning to get close to our skin color. People are getting skin cancer to have our color. So everyone has their own vision of what makes them feel beautiful.
But,you hardly see white women go from Emma Stone to Oprah Winfrey in coloring when they tan, like you do non whites when they bleach.
Thats a big fat lie, there are pictures of Rihanna as a little kid that shows that she was always light. And a lot of women and men are naturally light and they dont have to apologize for that. Just because it makes you uncomfortable, because they are not black enough for you. I have no idea about Beyonce and Nicki, but you are telling lies about Rihanna.
You’re “blatantly” lying. There are enough pics of Beyonce and Rihanna when they were very young, where you can see that they were always light. Rihanna even had dark blond/bright brown hair when she was an infant. I dont know anything about Kelly Rowland getting lighter, but its annoying how people have to lie to make a point.
TRUTH!
Replying to LBell’s eloquence.
I used to live next door to a woman in the Nation of Islam. I came back to visit my mom from New York , with my TWA, cropped short (I looked beautiful with little to no hair) and this BLACK MUSLIM gave me major shade. It was actually kind of funny. Insane and funny. She hated my white BFF, but I guess really dug her hair.
Sorry why are we complaining about Miley Cyrus using black women’s bodies as props when black men in rap do it, black women do it. What would it look like if she were presenting black women how black women have presented themselves for years?
I don’t even give that girl a second thought.
Truth. Miley wouldn’t have even had black women to objectify if her black “backup dancers” had refused to take the job. Change starts at home. In our hearts and minds. I can’t anyone else to value me if I don’t show that I value myself. Unfortunately, our people have been so torn down and dejected over centuries that may of us still believe the lies, many of us still want to stay where it’s “safe.”
Once I gained weight my hips and butt became an issue-so I slimmed down. Now these locs are the focus….wonder what would happen if I posed a triple threat?
I love this post. And as a 22 year old who sees black as beautiful (truly), I think it starts with teaching this to our kids. My parents did a good job of teaching me about black history and the beautiful aspects of being black in America (or anywhere)…because the world will not teach that. It starts with us!
http://www.rcsoatl.com
I couldn’t agree more. I believe part of it is because African Americans specifically have only been taught negatives about people of African descent so they turn away from it. I have been shocked to hear African Americans claim that they are not African and know nothing about Africa, and therefore would rather be called black. I’m Caribbean of African descent and I learned for myself (my mom was big on this during my childhood and I continued as an adult). No one will teach us how magnificent Africa was before colonization and slavery (nor about amazing African Americans after slavery). The more I learn about Africa, the more proud I grow to be part of this amazing group of people.
“Black History Month” should focus on the real merits of Africans throughout the diaspora instead of just Martin Luther King, Jr. and Malcolm X (although I love them both). We need to learn as much as possible, not a minute amount. I couldn’t be any more proud to be of African descent.
The entire African diaspora has been inundated with negative stereotypes and brainwashed by historical omissions. I have often run into the same issue amongst Africans in Europe and Asia, Latin Americans, Caribbeans and Americans. I’ve seen Black history taught less since the 80s and believe the 20 and under generation is being most deprived.
I understand your frustration, however the term ‘Black’ for some Americans, including myself, is an embrace of our history not an attempt to erase it. Blacks have been named and re-named for centuries by others from Negro, Colored and a lot of other choice words in between. The term ‘Black’ was even reluctant and hard-fought to claim. Therefore the process and power of naming oneself, and the choice and dignity that lies in that action, should respectfully be with the one being named.
I also understand some may try to distance themselves from African heritage, but I believe most of us see the word ‘Black’ as an embrace of our unique American identity – African ancestors whose children were American. Black isn’t a dilution of our obvious African ancestry, it’s just a different path the diaspora has taken in this part of the ‘New World’. We are different from our Caribbean brothers and sisters, our Latino family and our African family, but we know the root. I don’t believe a hyphen brings me closer to my roots and I am too old for a name change, Lol!
Elle, I think I love you!
You just preached Elle! Black people are unique from other African descendants. I don’t understand why others feel some sorta way when we call ourselves Black and we defend our legacy. I don’t have an issue when the Nigerians are proudly shouting out their tribes, Puerto-Ricans who’ve never been to Puerto Rico boasting their heritage, Haitians, etc. You don’t hear us saying here they go again seperating themselves, although they do this frequently to let you know what time it is. But when it’s time to talk about Black this and that…they want in and all of a sudden “we need to unite”. Let us accept each other’s differences and call it what it is. We weren’t united in pre-colonial Africa which is why we Black people are in America….
Also, I have no problem with my African heritage, but there is a disconnect and we as a people could never go back..we are Americans culturally. And many Black people who travel to Africa experience that…ie the founding of Liberia.
When it comes to Black History Month, that’s our moment and we have been generous enough.
Black people have put in WORK to get to where we are, and other groups have reaped the benefits (especially with regards to Civil Rights). Anyone can be an African-American; but not everyone can be Black…it’s a birth right and an experience.
My little cousin she is 8 is going through a tough time. Its not the past that makes her feel bad about being black. She feels bad about being black because of where we are now. She is quite wise for her little age. She doesn’t like how we act on t.v. shows that it seems that every crime seems to involve us. When we have something to say people roll their eyes and say that we are the racists. She doesn’t like all the white black talk. She said that she would rather be Mexican or Asian, so she doesn’t have to see us and here about us in such a negative way. Luckily her mom is a teacher, so her mother make sure that she learns the good with the bad, but my heart nearly fell out of my butt, when we had our talk. I told he that yeah we are out there with our butts flashing, but she doesn’t have to be one of those people that she sees. I told her that she can remember what she is taught, keep herself educated, and don’t let anyone make her feel less than the wonderful girl that her mother put on this earth. I don’t know if it made her feel any better, but it taught me that our children need to see us in a better light. We need to do and be better for them.
This story can relate to thousands of women. It’s a sensitive, touchy subject that has been going on for decades. We are not going to accept this ladies, we are not going to accept this. I believe that this revolution will inspire many girls in society. I went natural because I thought it was beautiful, versatile and you can do many things with your hair. I had a perm of course because that was the only thing I knew as a go-to style.
I say don’t give up because that’s what they want us to do. I personally decided to go natural because I was inspired by my 13 year old! She was tired of relaxing and wanted to do the big chop! All of the family went with her to celebrate this momentous occasion and the entire time the lady cutting her hair couldn’t believe she wanted to do this ( in a positive way)
My point is that yes it’s only hair but if it’s the catalyst for black women to begin the journey of self acceptance then so be it. There will still be challenges along the way but do not let this discourage us from loving who we are and not what some are dictating us to be.
I still have one daughter who relaxes and wears weave but we still love and support her decision while expressing the importance of not letting the straight hair and weave be the definition of who you are.
I personally love this natural hair movement and wish I had this when I was younger…would have saved me years of frustration with my hair
ooh Patrice: your writing is so on point. Bravo! Sadly I dont have a nice round butt 🙁 however, i got me a big bad 4a curly fro, that draws all sorts of attention. You cannot really deny beauty. Compare my 54 year old self and hair to the hair of my white counterparts of the same age and…..well….:) the revolution will be televised!!!!!!
I’m Irish, Scotch, English, and a variety of other shades of white. I am proudly married to a Afro Brazilian woman with natural hair. The reason I state this is because in my youth I was a blatant racist, I hated everyone for any reason I could grab at. I am so so sorry to the girl and the girls, and boys that are continually beaten and berated over their looks. I look back on that life with disgust and regret.
The reason for my small story above this sentence is this. If a young boy, still trying to find his path through life, all the while treading through hell and high waters in an abused state can learn not to judge others on their skin tone or differences, then why can’t people who aren’t suffering see this? All Racism accomplishes is driving the human race apart.
Um… What are you doing here?….
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No need to be rude, he is saying something nice. Maybe his wife, who he mentioned is Afro Brazilian, showed him the article and he appreciated it and felt compelled to comment. This website is not restricted to only people you approve or feel like have the right to be here.
How is asking a question being rude? O_O
I can ask any question I want. I’m not name calling. I just find it rather odd… 🙂
As a child i was picked on about my looks…my hair in particular. In fact the first time I was ever called a “bitch” straight to my face was by a white boy in summer camp. I was 11. No you are not forgiven.
I understand where u r coming from. I am sorry that happened to u. As I get older I realize that holding on to bitterness because of the way someone treated me in the past is only hurting myself. The person who offended me has moved on and is not thinking about me at all. I hope u will find peace and come to the same realization one day also.
i honestly wish that malcolm x as alive!! there’s a deep healing that needs to occur in the black community WORLDWIDE
GREAT READ, SO TRUE. LOVED THIS, BUT SADLY THE DEGRADATION OF OURSELVES ARE TAUGHT/LEARNED AT A YOUNG AGE (OUR MUSIC, LIGHT-SKINNED VS DARK-SKINNED, ETC) SO IT MAYBE ALL WE KNOW. WE FIRST, MUST BREAK THE CYCLE IN OUR COMMUNITY AND ONLY THEN CAN WE MEET OUR FULL POTENTIAL. AT THE END OF THE DAY WE MUST NOT FORGET THAT WE ARE THE TRUE QUEENS AND NOTHING LESS.
Interesting article. I agree that it starts with us, we have to love and accept ourselves the way we are. I live in London and I have experienced so much racism in London – despite it being such a melting pot of different cultures. In fact most of the UK is quite xenophobic – no offence meant. To the point where I’m making plans to relocate as we speak.
That said, I have seen many black ladies in London wear their hair natural, although majority of women still wear weaves, extensions and weaves. A lot of the time the fake hair looks awful and I wonder why people go through so much trouble. I always find it funny that white women only wear Afro wigs when going to dress us parties or Halloween and yet black women go out of their way to make their hair as straight as possible to conform to te European standard of beauty.
I will stay natural – for my daughter, I want her to know it’s ok to have curly hair and I do not intend to flat iron or relax her hair as I have seen some friends do with their toddlers!
I recently encouraged my 15 year old sister to go natural, she big chopped a year ago. I send her shots of my hair and she tells me that it has encouraged her friends at school to also go natural. Love yourself first, teach your children to love themselves too.
Sorry this is almost a rant – when I told my cousins I was wearing my hair in an Afro for graduation they were shocked! And told me I would look unkempt! Well – bring it on. I’m most comfortable with my natural hair!
I am from Europe and I can confirm with what black nerd lover stated. I think that this is a feature of white European character. In order to get themselves up they need to knock someone else down. This is true also within the white European community,btw.
In Europe the natural hair is accepted however it’s also on the fringe of the fashion interest. Black women over here weren’t subjected to a cruel treatment like our sisters in America therefore we kind of don’t feel the urge to embrace our natural selves so strongly. Nevertheless, we should as it’s very important to be comfortable with who you are. I personally started to take better care of my hair thanks to inspirational videos and articles from American black women so I’m really thankful for that. You all are a big role model for black women in other countries. One day, I believe, it will be us who will set the tone in fashion. It’s just one of the things that we are not supposed to achieve which we’ll one day tick off the list with a big broad smile.
Love from Europe xxx
What a great piece. Bravo Christina Patrice!
You are so right. It is about more than just hair. I really liked the part at the end about mobilization and collective action. We have to understand our value as individuals and use that power to enact change to this sad social and political structure. Also, thank you for the side articles. I am glad to know that they have filed a criminal lawsuit against the murder of Renisha McBride. I am tired of hearing about young black life being lost because our mere presence is seen as threatening to so many Americans. Racism is so alive in this country.
But that can’t deter us from achieving success. It starts at the individual level–having love for oneself. Get up everyday and believe that you are worth everything this world has to offer. It’s tough but don’t alienate yourself, reach out to positive communities. That is why mobilization and collective action is important. We are powerful individually and even more so together. Thank you for a great read!
I wish current African American “leaders” understood this and acted accordingly.
I also wish Africans saw the worth in each other too. Corruption and bloodshed of war is rampant and I’ve known it since I was born. The closer I look, the more I realize it’s because we see each other as almost nothing, we don’t see our fellow people as being worthwhile. If we did, the corrupt ones would not be thinking of themselves, they’d be thinking of the good of the country. People would band together to protest for change not just for the rich but for the good of ALL the people. It makes me sad to see black people everywhere treating whites or non whites with money like Gold while we don’t rise up in support of one another (unless they are someone we personally like which is not enough). I’m not saying we have to become saints or that colonialism, slavery and racism are not part of the reason but we must dig ourselves out this hole because NOONE else will do it for us.
Anti-black poison has infiltrated Africa and its diaspora for generations now. It’s a disease that many dont want to bother working to cure. Turning back the tide starts on an individual level and will take time and work but it’s better late than never.
It’s easy to say all this but I wonder how to turn it into practical reality. How to start to open our people’s eyes in America and all over the globe…..
I apologize if I’m derailing the comments…
that goes without question. and people like to hone in on the black community but its EVERYONE including non-blacks that are dragging us (and yes I know some of you have non-black boyfriends and get compliments from white people but they don’t cancel out anything) Hate or apathy toward black beauty is worldwide but I definitely think the US leads the pack.
SELF LOVE is the most important when noone else wants or cares to appreciate your worth. It is always good to have but almost a necessity for us. Notice how natural hair is becoming more accepted as we started to accept it.
Acceptance or validation from others is not the end goal because god forbid that it becomes the foundation of anyone’s self worth. Truly opening our eyes to and loving our set apart, grand beauty is the end game. Also, aligning ourselves individually an collectively ONLY with those that value and support us no matter the background. This can only happen if you value yourself.
Black (African anything) beauty is judged by white standards….all beauty is and WE in particular need to stop. We are distinct and set apart from it and I’m PROUD to be! This love can be fused into the next generation and it will not be easy because society will want to destroy all positive thoughts of ourselves with poison. We can never grow complacent and NEVER stop fighting for what we are worth.
Love you all and black is truly beautiful!
I LOVE this piece and it rings ever true after watching 12 Years a Slave. The character of Patsy, a young black slave, is strong, sensual and beautiful. Her master’s wife is jealous of his obsession with Patsy. So what does she do?
Systematically dehumanizes her. Call her a black bitch, physically assault her, ANYTHING to make her believe that she could never be equal in beauty, intelligence or humanity to a white woman.
Toni Morrison once said that if in order for you to be tall, someone else has to be on their knees, then that’s a problem. (I’m totally butchering that quote by the way). And I think this is true of white women today. In order for them to be “tall” in their beauty, they have to live in a society that convinces black women that they are ugly. I hate to say this, but it is true.
@Black Nerd Lover I concur
Me too…yep.
I feel this article ladies. Please watch this 3 minute video, it addresses this issue!
I think we should acknowledge that we *have* changed the conversation. School administrators didn’t just start attacking little girls with natural hair. What’s different is every part of that pattern that follows the attack: the news story, the backlash and the subsequent change in policy. And as skeptical as folks are about the motives of relaxer companies putting out products targeting naturals, the fact that they are is an indication of a dramatic departure from the days when dyed fried and laid was the only conceivable option. I don’t doubt there are many women going natural now who won’t stay that way (my theory is relaxers will be replaced by mild texturizers for women overwhelmed by natural hair, but time will tell). The point is, natural hair is well on it’s way to being a viable, unquestioned option for black women (in this country–following the natural hair movement in the Dominican Republic makes me appreciate the progress here). I don’t mean to say we’ve arrived and all is well. The texture hierarchy and relaxer shaming need to die quick and, as the author points out , natural hair is only one aspect of black beauty that has been marginalized. But I also think it’s counterproductive to ignore the tremendous strides that have been made since black women were being paraded around freak shows.
I believe the next step for our community to build our own economy and stop supporting others. It’s time we build our own stores, car dealerships, clothing lines, magazines (that are completely African-American owned), television stations, radio stations, construction companies, etc. We are the only culture (race (color) is a myth made up to further segregate us/the world) that don’t support each other. Asians build their stores in our communities and prosper, then buy home in better neighborhoods with better school, yet give nothing back to the communities in which they are the benefactor. They only Asian made cars, purchase their clothing from Asia (cheaper prices). We have lost the connection to our homeland and support them minimally. It’s time for us to become aware of our economic inferiorities and act to overcome them, this will lead to the greatest improvement in our communities.
“Knowledge doesn’t equal power, Knowledge + Action = Power.”
-Yours truly
(That’s the moto for my life.)
Sorry for the typos and missed words, I think it’s readable though. I should have proofread. My fault completely.
Black people have to see themselves and each other being worthy of this sort of support and the many that dont have to start truly believing that they can run successful businesses like the ones you mentioned. I don’t like that standards for black businesses are lower because of many negative experiences in the past. I hope that changes.
I agree with so much of what you’ve said and this brought back immediate memories of how Gabby was treated during the Olympics…. Wait that was “us” talking about her hair. Change starts at home.
I think they tried, but I’m not convinced. 😉
Women from all races need to accept their natural beauty;pale and dark skin, thin and thick lips, high and low cheekbones, wide hips and no lips.
ummm if you mean women should love their naturalness… why don’t you take that talk and deconstruct the white supremacy pyramid cause it seems another race benefits from demonizing and insulting black women
I agree with the article, but there’s one thing I have to add: it wasn’t until I moved to Europe that I felt viewed and accepted immediately as an individual, rather than a stereotype.
Sure, I’ve experienced racism here, but nothing NOTHING like at home. And never have I had a single “look” or side-eye at wearing my natural hair. The people who first supported me in my transition were white Europeans (apart from 2 girlfriends living here at the time). By contrast, I had nothing but negativity from my family back home. And, from black hair stylists. For my first big chop, I almost had to go Britney Spears in the salon for them to take me seriously & the black Brazilian woman who was maintaining my TWA got fired for pressuring me to relax.
I think the author is right that this is an American issue, but the use of the term “European” is problematic. Let’s just be honest and call it a White Beauty Standard.
In 7 years, I have yet to have a single true European be anything but accepting, supportive and complimentary of my hair.
(And the only fool who asked to touch it was a white American girl. So there you go.)
I find your comment very interesting because I live in Europe as well (originally from NY), and I feel the exact opposite. I never really experienced racism until I came here. My hair gets stared at all the time especially by other Black people. The compliments I do get tend to come from White people or other races. I think at least with Americans there’s discourse about this issue while in Europe specifically the UK where I live, there isn’t. It is starting to change but people are reluctant to talk about racism and the implications that come with it. I’m not saying Europeans are more racist than Americans. They can be really accepting of other races and cultures, I just wouldn’t put them on a pedestal. Just my opinion.
The English are very similar in their thinking to Americans. They are cut from the same cloth. Blacks in England and blacks in America are two of a kind. They mostly tend to be from the Islands and Africa. Blacks in other parts of Europe however, tend to be from countries still considered a part of that “mother” country. For example, Martinique and Guadeloupe are still a part of France; and Suriname up until the 1950’s was still a part of The Netherlands. These are pretty much the countries where you find large black populations in Europe. Blacks throughout the rest of Europe are not that many and if they are it’s quite new.
I’m writing this to say, that blacks from those parts of the world tended to assimilate into the ‘mother’ country more-interesting because American blacks did not and still have not fully assimilated into their “mother” country.
There was also not this pressure to “seem” white in European cultures as it was and still is, like in America for European blacks who are not British.
Europeans tended and still to some degree regard the black woman as something “exotic.” And i’m not saying that to say that that is something positive. I’m just making a statement towards something I saw while living there.
Our hair and skin color stands out in a sea of sameness in those countries and that in itself seems to have a more positive effect on the minds of some in those countries.
I think it becomes even more complicated, as it also depends on the city within the country. May I ask what part of the UK you reside in? I ask because I was born and bred and in London. No one bats an eyelid when I go out with my hair and I’ve seen loads of girls with their afros out. All the people who have (so far) complimented me on my hair are black (including black men) – then again, I live & work in a prodominately black area.
London is one of those cities similar to NYC; ‘eccentric’ fashionistas and where people tend to dress more ‘edgy’ and ‘out there’ so that could be why. If you go to more local areas – where it’s not so tourisy, maybe they’ll be people staring/making comments, as this is where you’re more likely to find the badly applied lace front wearers and the stereotypical “ghetto” people (for want of a better word) who maybe more ignorant to the movement.
The further North in the UK you go, the less black people, which means more ignorance from both blacks and non-blacks is likely.
First, I’m not putting anyone on a pedestal. I’m saying let’s not lump white America in with white Europe because it’s not the same thing at all.
I think our experiences may differ because I moved from the South to Paris, France. When I had a TWA in Tallahassee, FL, I was immediately an angry lesbian or a black panther in hiding. The same hairstyle in Paris meant I was a woman with short hair.
I’m convinced that the legacy of slavery does something to the soil of a place. France did not base it’s entire agricultural development on African slavery like the US did. It did participate in the slave trade, but not on its own soil. I think- but I’m not sure- that the UK’s history of empire and domination of any darker skinned peoples has created a different legacy of racism. (My husband jokes that the Brits succeed in having an Empire while the French failed because the French wanted to be loved, the Brits wanted to be feared)
France has some serious problems with racism (ask any North African you meet), but black people are not the primary target. (Except by a few nutcases)
Here, my biggest problems come from other people of sub-Saharan African descent. My husband is always shocked at the stares & dirty looks I get from other women, but I think it’s mostly incomprehension or disapproval. Being American, I clearly do not look African. One glance at my face & all the generations of blending with Native Americans & who knows who else is clear. I think a lot of people stare trying to figure out where I’m from, or why I’m dressed Western. Some people ask where I come from and when I answer, they say “oh, of course!” Or even “ah, then you’re mixed!” (Tell that to my parents & grandparents!)
It’s a shame, I’ve never crossed to Channel into the UK, but I wouldn’t be surprised to have similar racist experiences as I had at home. The UK was our mother country for a while. And cultural attitudes persist within shared languages.
But I feel confident making a distinction between the UK & Europe: they’ve made the distinction themselves by staying out of the Eurozone. And I think it’s for cultural as well as economic reasons. It’s just not the same over here.
All of that & I forgot to say, look who gave me the most pushback & negativity on my natural hair, people impacted by the legacy of slavery:
White Americans in the South
A black Brazilian woman (slavery was no joke in Brazil)
A salon-full of women from sub-Saharan Africa
My own family, from the American South.
You all said some real stuff, but there are some points I disagree with. I was born in France to African immigrants. First , let me tell you : Africans also have the pressure to fit in European standards maybe even more that African-Americans. In Congo, the country of my father, women in countryside who live with 5$ a month buy plenty of weaves and bleaching creams. My grandmother, who lives in Africa hates my natural hair : to her , it looks uncombed,too wild and I just should get a relaxer to get it looking good. And , as a girl who were born and raised in France, to me French people are , to me as racist than Americans or British people : the black minister of justice, C. Taubira suffers everyday from racist attacks. A newspaper even compared her as a monkey. I think that the racism and unacceptance of black beauty isn’t only a American problem, but a problem that all Western countries have.
I can never understand why white people like to refer to black people as monkeys when trying to belittle them. Why? Do they know that there are white monkeys and baboons and the like that look like them.
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Black women have say to themselves, that they are beautiful and they are the daughters of the most High King and stop supporting people who abuse black women,some comedians, actors, rappers. They must not conform to the world, because it is doomed to failure. If we cannot accept our beauty, others will not be able to either. When we recognize we are beautiful, everyone even if they hate it will have to acknowledge it also.
Spoken like a true believer in Yah! Be TRANSFORMED by the renewing of your mind not Conformed to the ways of this world. Romans 12:2 The true and living God is against the ways of this world…and it shows. James 4:4
I agree with you. If black women want these issues pushed to the forefront, we should confront the people in our own media and community who exploit ‘us’. We need to think of our girls(young ones), it is not fair that their self-esteem is attacked for no reason.
I think America is bent on convincing black women that our beauty is unacceptable, because white women are trying to capture their own version of black beauty. It dates back to the 70’s with white women getting perms so they can achieve the “curly afro” look and early 80’s with Bo Derek running on the beach with long cornrows. Fast forward to today, you see on the runways of Europe, white models wearing blonde afros, dreads and weaves. And let’s not forget, women paying hundreds of thousands and sometimes, millions of dollars to have full lips and a full backside. The gifts given by God, they buy.
I absolutely agree and wonder how and what I can do to spark a revolutionary change to make a difference. I want to do something! Anyone with me ready to start by doing something instead of just accepting things the way they are?
I agree, but unfortunately, I don’t think this is going anywhere. Black women will never be seen as ‘on par’ with European standards because it’s disrupts the status quo. This is simply how the world works and how it will always be.
We’ve reached our ‘peak’ – meaning we fought to have a place within society, have laws to protect us from discrimination etc, but that’s where it ends. We finally got a place within society, but rather than progress and elevate ourselves as black people, we’ve kinda stifled. And that’s because the way the world is ‘ordered’ doesn’t permit us to elevate to our highest. As black people, we’ve become victims of other peoples negative perceptions and allowed that to dictate how we feel about ourselves. This is why, despite the fact it doesn’t matter what “THEY” think about us, we’re still failing because we OURSELVES do not hold ourselves in high regard.
As long as European standards rule, as black women, our features and our hair will always be second rate (even within our own race); same goes for other races who’s features don’t typical fit the standard. I guess what I’m saying sounds pessimistic and hopeless. But I think it’s a fantasy to think that our natural selves will ever be to us (as a whole) what a relaxer and weave is. They hold more weight. For it to be any other way, would mean the world has shifted.
I guess what I’m saying is that I think this natural movement is fantastic and that (it appears) more of us are embracing our natural selves. But I think there’s only so far it can go. We are not unified enough, there is not enough of us who think this way to evoke a massive change. Which is sad…
I completely see where you’re coming from! But I don’t think we’ve hit our limit – Definitely not yet. We’ve got to think on a grand scale. A lot of women ALL around the world are embracing their natural hair textures, simply through online support. We’re being unified by this thing called hair! I went natural three years ago, and back then, there was so much info on hair and history. But now, look at all the wealth of information and support we have here!
I know we’re moving further and not stopping because, where I live it’s becoming the norm for me to see afro puffs or wash and gos and twist outs. As superficial as this may sound, I’ve met so many people and have made many friends, simply because I had natural hair and we chatted – whether they were natural or not.
My sister who’s 11 and rocks a TWA, tells me tales of how her black friends wish their relaxed hair would shrink up like hers. She tells me that she teaches the little white kids, Indian kids, Chinese kids at school. Even Little Riley Elle here on the internet loves her hair! If kids THIS young are realising their beauty, can you even IMAGINE what it’s gonna be like in 10/15 years when they’re ruling the roost!
I grew up hating my skin and hair and have only learned to love it in the last few years. My sister recognises her worth at 11 years, and I think that’s so powerful. This is what I think we mean by this whole natural hair movement. The fact that we’re impacting babies, it’s a domino effect.
I suppose what I’m trying to say is that, we’re far from reaching our limit when it comes to black women and beauty. If anything, we’ve only begun. We, here, are only starting the movement. The real impact will be when our little cousins, sisters, daughters take over. They would’ve grown up with nothing but love for their hair, through seeing their mothers loving their natural texture.
And we’re creating our own content regardless of the status quo. We’re presenting ourselves in the light WE wish to be shown in. Although it’s small now, it’s definitely growing. I’m sure Leila didn’t wait for European advice before starting BGLH. I’m pretty sure Nikki didn’t care about European standards before creat curlynikki.com . I’m pretty sure aalllll these women with natural hair blogs didn’t wait around for a European ‘go ahead’ to create their content.
I’m currently writing my dissertation on the representation of Black women, and as much as the world tries to tell us otherwise, we have a huge impact on things like beauty sales, makeup and the likes. The european world doesn’t want to recognise this, but it’s true.
So yeah. I think I’m an optimist 😀
x
Omg just realised how LONG this comment is lol
o_O -_-
But this is the truth, Ruth! #agreed
Sounds like a great dissertation!!
All the best with it 🙂 hope it doesnt keep you up too late too often.
If you can ever share it with others (not sure if that is allowed these days) when you have finished I would love to read it
I hope so! 🙂
I don’t mean to be so pessimistic, I just get so frustrated when I think about where we are as black people; how powerful and beautiful we are, yet we sell ourselves short (not just in relation to hair). I do hope that what you’re saying does become a reality.
Your perspective is just as important and legitimate as anyone else, and I appreciate you offering it.
We create our own reality. And we are changing the world.
When I was growing up, I never saw a black woman on TV with natural hair in a commercial.
You see it now. All the time.
I never saw little black girls with natural hair, and did not see their mothers walking behind them proud of their kinks.
You see it now.
No one gave a damn years ago if a little black girl was attacked for her natural hair. Ten years ago the public would have told her ‘to do something with it.’
Now she gets support to be who she is.
That’s change. Big. Change.
And when I was at dinner this weekend with 2 other couples, all the women had natural black hair. One man had locs and was giving me hair advice.
This was in southeast Louisiana, the deepest of the Deep South, and the slowest of places to change. That’s just how The South is, all things, even socially, move more slowly.
But they’re moving.
And we’re, as black women, are slowly moving them.
It won’t happen over night.
And it is hard to see change when you’re in midst of it.
It is happening. We are happening.
Wait.
I can promise you that you’ll be seeing white women trying to style their hair like afros soon.
Be who you are and let the rest of the world bend to you.
Self-love, first, always.
And adorn ourselves! We are a jewelry loving people: gold, not gold, silver, not silver, beads, metals, etc. This is who we are! And it compliments well our hair!
I saw Asian young people sporting afros. So it is not far fetch to assume white women will want what we naturally possess. That’s nothing new and we shouldn’t concern ourselves with what other races think or do. The best thing that happened in the last five years for black women is YouTube and forums like this but YouTube has been a game changer. It reaches all black women worldwide and it connects us like no other median since telephone or automobile. To visualize the versatility of our beauty and shift our purchasing power to small independent black businesses and force major companies to accommodate our needs makes us a powerful force. I believe black women have always been trendsetters. We are watched because we are so unique and creative. We have to realize our value and use it to our benefit.
Yes, we have a huge impact on the economy because, though we posses the least amount of wealth, we spend the most money. There is power in our spending, we fell to realize where we spend out money speaks volumes.
I’m an optimist too.
I’m in college and whenever my classes offer an assignment that is open-ended or I can choose the topic I always choose hair or black beauty. I’m usually the only black person, sometimes there might be one other, and when I purpose my topic most people aren’t interested. What can there be to research about hair? Isn’t it just a vain topic? There is no depth to it.
But when the final is due or I have a presentation to make, everyone learns so much. I usually have one of the more culturally informative pieces.
I don’t want to be known for my hair at school, but the more people realize what’s going on, and that it’s not just black people being vain or shallow, but it’s a real self-esteem issue that NEEDS to be addressed.
It starts with us accepting our beauty, but think educating as many of the other american cultures about our hair (don’t only compliment me because I straightened it, don’t just reach out and touch it if it’s curly, curly styles isn’t me doing radical things to style it, etc, etc) they will help us end some of the nonsense.
There are so many different ethnic people in american now that if we rock the system they will help. We’re not the only ones tired of Euro-centric beauty ideals
The change will come
hearing (or reading, rather) you talk about the next generation(s) of black girls/women is making me feel really….really….reeeeaaallllyy…
OLD (with a resounding ‘D’ lol)
and i’m only 23.
aside from this, great point. now lemme run and go re-check for grays i may have missed in the mirror this morning.
Oh, the world WILL shift 😉 We haven’t peeked by a long shot. We may have peaked in a white supremest societal structure. However, what goes up must come down…and if you watch the news or even look around you know the kingdom they built is on it’s way down. Who will be left standing on the top of the rubble of this crumbling society?? WE WILL. All the world’s ‘greatest’ civilizations bit the dust. This one will be no different. That’s what the Bible says and I believe this to be the truth 🙂 We are witnessing it all unfold.
Black people in America and all over the world embracing their beauty, understanding their TRUE worth, acting in accordance and beyond their abilities and working together and for the betterment of the greater good like other successful societies is a REAL AND SERIOUS THREAT to white supremacy and various powerful countries all over the world.
This is not black supremacist rhetoric but reality and common sense. This country in the next generation would be rocked upside down if truly took root in the minds of African American children. Same thing in Africa and around the world. How do we make each other truly understand this?!
The first person that must appreciate the beauty of the black woman is the black woman.
Exactly! And then everyone else will have no choice but to accept it whether they realize it or not. If we can’t appreciate what we have and accept ourselves then how can we expect anything more from the world? As the saying goes, “We must be the change we want to see.”
I know this article may be about natural hair and although I agree that natural hair is beautiful. However, what about those like me who want the relaxer? I feel like those with natural hair judge me because I wear a relaxer. Why can’t we focus on the development of our self-esteem within and allow individual repression outwardly?
Sister, I see what points you’re trying to make. But did you read the article? This is about what America perceives about our hair the way it grows out our scalps. Americans are already used to seeing our hair straightened with chemicals; in fact, that’s what they DEMAND we do. There are plenty of articles that focus on the relaxed vs. natural debate that focus on what you’ve brought up. This blog overall focuses on natural hair and beauty, so of course it’s going to focus on accepting the beauty of natural kinky/curly hair first and foremost. Know your venue.
The natural hair community isn’t judging you sis. What’s happening is, you are judging yourself.
I agree completely. The problem is too many Black women and men haven’t accepted the Black woman’s distinctive beauty. Look at what happened after the majority of us started to glorify our own darker skin, fuller lips, and rounder Butts and hips…tanning salons, collagen injections, and surgical procedures!!! Not only that, but having any of these particular European characteristics are considered undesirable to the majority of us (except maybe skin color…we still have some work to do in that department ladies :). The point is that the day we accept ourselves not only will others, but more importantly, we wont need their acceptance. I mean, do we really care if another race says our butts are too round!!! So I do believe there will come a day in my life time, that a Black girl would not trade in her beautiful versatile tresses for straight stringy ones. It all starts with us and that’s the truth.
I agree, but on the flipside, has anyone else noticed that in commercials black wommen/children almost always have natural hair? It’s an interesting observation.
i LOVE that and i don’t want it to change. what’s interesting is that the vast majority of women shown on BET in commercials and shows have weave or relaxed hair. Straight hair, almost never curly, and if they do show natural hair it’s always someone with type 3. odd that other channels are more open to diversifying the presentation of black women and more accepting of natural hair of both type 3 and 4, but BET is not nearly so. it’s sad, too.
Follow the money…..Representation is merely an effort to increase profit margins…
Meanwhile, kids are being kicked out of school b/c of their hair (among other horrific instances of racism/sexism)…. the same old tired heirarchy continues.