Reader Jessica (not pictured above) says;
This is kind of off-topic of hair, but I would be grateful if you could bring it to your readers. First off, let me say that I am FULLY AWARE that not all black women have big booties. We come in all different shapes and sizes. And that’s a beautiful thing!
I, however, am very curvy. I have Double D cups (I swear, at the rate these things are going, I’m going to need a breast lift by 30!) and what my mama calls a “basketball” or “bubble” booty. And I am only 5 foot 2! Growing up I wasn’t super curvy. But once I hit college (a majority white college at that) I suddenly ‘curved up’ and felt like a FREAK! I just felt like my body was ‘all over the place’ with so many jiggling, moving parts! What made it worse is that I wanted the svelte, long-legged, flat-chested look that so many of my college mates had. It seemed so effortless. You throw on a sun dress and lay out in the sun on the quad (btw, most sundresses have thin straps, which is a no-go for me because I need industrial strength, thick-strapped bras that you typically find in the back of the lingerie section of the department store, WAAAY past the cutesy lace and satin things, back with the ugly lingerie that only comes in beige, black or blinding white).
My whole college experience was a fashion FAIL consisting of me trying to fit into flimsy, cute garments and looking a HOTT mess (I once was so desperate to wear a spaghetti strapped dress to a banquet that I, unwisely, nixed my bra. I ended up having to wear my coat over my dress the entire night to spare both myself and the banquet attendees the embarrassment).
I went natural shortly after college, and it was such a freeing experience learning to love my hair… but I feel like that hasn’t quite transferred to my body yet. I still feel awkward walking down the street. I still feel like my body is ‘all over the place’. I know that you often hear of black women reveling in their curves… but some of us have a hard time adjusting to them. Particularly when you live and work (as I do) in areas that are majority non-black.
Even on fashion blogs, it’s been hard to find fashion icons who are both top AND bottom heavy and unashamed. The best I’ve been able to find thus far are Amber Rose and Kim Kardashian. But, my question for your readers would be, can anyone relate to this?! Are you ever afraid or ashamed of your curves?!
(Oh, and can I add that being curvy isn’t as glamorous as people think! There is always something popping out or riding up! Oh, and I also wanted to add that I’m not plus-size. I’m a size 4, just with wildly protruding parts :/ )
Interesting! Ladies, what are your thoughts?!
108 Responses
I am definitely on the curvy side if the spectrum. I personally love my curves because they make me fell feminine and I love being a woman. But I don’t like the attention they get me. I don’t like that my features are either sexualized or deemed excessive like I some how manipulated my DNA to look this way and want attention. And I don’t like being stared at. I also don’t feel the need to wear clothing that Makes everything more pronounced like Amber Rose and Kim West. If I’m wearing a dress that hugs my butt I definitely feel self conscious because I know I will get stares. In a nutshell I love my curves I just wish the public would calm down about it. We are people not unicorns.
I feel exactly the same way, only difference my chest is smaller making me badly proportioned.
I have always wanted the slim, “straight up and down” body with slender legs. Instead I have a big, wide, high bottom, thick arms and legs, with a small waist. My lower back seems to curve inwards. I have hidden in coats and long tops for many years, ashamed of my shape. Unable to wear straight dresses or skirts and always covering my bottom.
i can relate to this post. i have annoying larger bust. *sigh* people automatically think that they can make unwanted comments about my body including vain family members.
I can so relate to this post! I’m 5’4″ with a huge butt and 38DD!!!! I hate shopping because it takes forever to find just one thing that fits right. I buy more shoes than clothes cause it’s easier find shoes!! I was born with the booty but the boobies did,t come til my junior year of college! To top it off I’m in between stores…..too big for the skinny people stores and too small for the plus size stores. It is literally a miracle for me to find clothes….it’s usually an accident. Growing up I loved my curves, I just wished for bigger breasts to balance me out, and boy did that wish come true! However, it does come with unwanted attention. I live in Florida where its always hot as hell and people always wear shorts and lil dresses and bathing suits. I wear tankinis with shorts bottoms and still get the unwanted attention. I can go out in sweat pants and a big shirt and still get horns honked at me, whistled, and my all time fav “damn shawty!” No matter what I wear my curves show. Even people at my church make snide remarks about my body.
I have been made to feel ashamed of my curves, but I refuse to let anybody’s opinion dictatee how I live my life. So I now embrace my curves, cause people always gon have something negative to say. I wear what I want when I want however I want. I’m not gonna sacrifice my comfort at the beach, or my fashion sense at church(I keep it classy and holy), for anybody else. No I don’t like everything about my body everyday, but I love me, and nothing will ever change that. You are obviously not alone based on these posts! Everybody on here rocks by the way!!! Thanks for providing us all an opportunity to vent and encourage one another by realizing we are not the lone ranger, as I’m sure all of us have felt that way at some point!
I can totally relate to this post. I have a coke bottle figure at 5ft 4in. My mother says I was born with these hips and this behind. I was athletic as a kid and so was in the best possible shape for my shape- svelte and muscular legs and abs. As I’ve gotten older things have changed a bit- my mature body is a little thicker than I am comfortable with all around- sure I could stand to loose a few pound but I am in no ways battling a weight problem or do I consider myself overweight.
I am CURVY. VERY CURVY. I am still uncomfortable with the way that my body is objectified by others as if just because my curves may be the “object” of every man’s desire that somehow translates into I must be someone who enjoys looking like this. More often than I am comfortable with it is my body that draws attention- and the wrong type of attention as far as I’m concerned. It is difficult to find clothing. I’m a US size 14/16 depending on the designer. I find however the larger the sizes the less options there are in the styles I prefer- natural fibers, relaxed but tailored fit, classic not to trendy. I was a US size 8 by the time I was 14.
Part of my discomfort is that it is hard to find clothing I love. I love my body best when I’m naked- there is nothing ‘wrong’ then- it is only when I attempt to dress that I feel everything is punctuated incorrectly. It feels like singing off key some days.
You are not alone in feeling awkward in your own skin.
Hello, this is a great blog!
Consider yourself lucky. I WISH I had curves. I’m shaped like a darn rectangle. -.-‘
I do understand where you are coming from. I am top and bottom heavy and was throughout high school where i was very active and all of my schools were majority white. Actually, i always just felt bigger than everyone but when i went to college i actually really appreciated my shape. One thing that helps is wearing a bra that fits… they are usually 2 or 3 times more expensive than normal bras but well worth it. Try Nordstrom- I particularly like Elomi and Fantasie brands. They even offer strapless and multi-way bras. I am still an active person and always feel better when i am looking toned. I will say though that folks with our figures have to choose our clothes carefully (really annoying) otherwise we can draw a whole bunch of unwanted attention.
I, too, can relate to your pain! I am 5’2 with a BIG BUTT, semi-size breasts and a thin waist. I am sometimes ashamed of my curves because they can’t fit into anything!! My clothes are always fit up top, saggy in the middle and snug in the rear. : / Growing up, my mom made me uncomfortable with my curves and often made me hide my figure! It was not until I reached college that I began to get a little more comfortable in my skin.
As an African American woman, I think we feel like this because the only women that we see that are shaped as we are, are scantily-clad video girls. I don’t always like my butt because, like the girls in the video, men don’t always show you respect because of your assets. They think because you are shaped this way, you should be a sex toy or an object.
Unfortunately, my mother taught me to be ashamed of my curves at a very young age (my curves are from my dad’s side of the family). I began to develop in the 5th grade. At that point my mother would tell me that my butt was jiggly and she made me wear those shiny beige or black girdles with the diamond shaped “tummy control” stitch in the front.I was made to wear long shirts that covered my hips and butt. I too grew up in an non-black area (Orange County, California) surrounded by slim Caucasian women.Needless to say, I was very insecure for years.
Eventually, when I went off to college and met more black people and made more black friends, I became more comfortable in my skin.I learned to admire black women who were able to walk with confidence while displaying their curves. I grew to love my curves. I am proud of them. Now I’m able to walk with confidence while leaving brothas with wip lash LOL!
I LOVE my curves. I am 5’8, with 34F chest, small waist, full hips and thighs with a bubble butt. I regularly pick up pillows when I get off the couch. I was the only girl in the sixth grade with hips and butt. LOL. I love my body.My hubby does too (whom, by the way, is white). I have gained a little weight since this phot due to my lack of exercising (I’m a full-time lawyer, LLM Student and wife!) but I have began working out again. I am lucky, I must admit, because even when I gain weight, I am still an hourglass. I feel like with my natural hair and curvy body, I embody an african princess.
[img]https://bglhonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/IMG00155-20100903-1145 00000.jpg[/img]
I swear it can be difficult to find clothes but nothing is perfect.
I know this is a older topic, but I just wanted you to know that I can relate to you a ton. I’m a little taller than you(5’6″)but am also a size 4 with sizable curves (a full 34D and a big round butt)that both popped up on my body during my sr year at a predominately white college. Before then, my chest was a cup smaller and my butt was considered a “pancake” by my family. So I had to relearn how to dress my body and how to appreciate it bouncing bottom and all. This took a bit of patience and self confidence especially since the people with similar body shapes in the media tend to be video girls, but I realized that I had to accept and love my curves and not be swayed by anyone’s objectification of them. Nor could I allow other’s opinions to dictate how I feel about my body. I get a lot of compliments on my shape and I also get a lot of negative comments since some people consider my curves “indecent”. So it may take a ton of looking at yourself in the mirror everyday saying “I’m beautiful and I love me” and listing the pro’s of your curves in your head, but I think you’ll come to the point where you are comfortable with your body. It just takes blocking out the negativity, including your own negative thoughts, and embracing the positives.
I do love my body and am really comfortable with dressing the curvy shape.I take a lot of inspration from vintage clothing, in particular the 70’s (which may have to do a bit more with my long legs. bell bottoms balance things out for me) and 50’s. One thing that really helped me dress for my body was watching “What Not to Wear” on TLC. A lot of it was trial and error, meaning I had to try on a ton of stuff and see which worked for me. I do a lot of vintage shopping and I also model so I’m used to trying on things and knowing how to manipulate outfits to fit me better. My main go-to’s are pencil-skirts, figure hugging sheath and sweater dresses( they should be fitted to your curves not pulling over them :), wide leg pants, skinny jeans, bell bottoms, wrap dresses, and fitted button down shirts (you will probably have to wear a tank under them b/c they won’t button over your chest, but sometimes you get lucky). Also, emphasizing the waist, along with clothes that are properly fitted to your body (no flimsy sun dresses here unless they are fitted up top and at the waist), are the key to looking balanced in a outfit with a curvy shape. I have waist belts in different colors and designs, so my body doesn’t look “lost” in looser clothing. It also makes the outfit look more put together. Additionally, you may have to befriend someone who does alterations and get them to nip in the waist band of pants to fit your smaller waist and larger bottom and thighs. Or try the Gap curvy line which works pretty well for me.
I do have to agree that being curvy leads to a lot of catcalls and creepers, but that shouldn’t scare you from wearing what you want. I learned that I’ll get hit on regardless of if I’m in old workout clothes and sweaty or in a cute mini dress that emphasizes my curves, so I just wear whatever I look cute in. I’m also not super shy about my body, like I’ll show off a bit of cleavage or leg, but not at the same time. Again, the key is balance, so if I’m in short shorts, my shirt is looser and if I’m showing cleavage, I’m in pants or a knee length skirt. It takes a bit of practice at spotting the right outfit combo and right types of clothes for your body but after a while you’ll be a pro.
I really hoped this helped. I usually just lurk on this site, but I felt like I needed to speak up for this one.
I can relate I used to be ashamed of being curvy to the point where I even starved myself! Now I am a healthy size four with small breast, no hips, and a nice round butt. Sometimes I do feel fat but most of the time I love being petite and shapely. I too work at a predominantly non-black establishment where pins are worshiped. As long as you love yourself no one else matters!
As an hourglass I am very curvy as well. Though I have what is considered the ‘best’ body type for a female to have, the unwanted attention from others can things really uncomfortable. Like you I’ve had an issue with by bottom. In high school I wanted the model type body (a la Naomi Campbell) but instead became curvy and remained petite @ 5′ 4″. To make sure my butt doesn’t protrude more then necessary I always make sure to walk upright(least I look like flamingo from behind LOL).Standing proud has improved my self esteem and I say it makes any body (regardless of type) look good. Besides this I suggest you wear clothes that look flattering on YOUR body and not someone else’s.
Spaghetti straps is an absolute NO. It broadens your already broad shoulders. Skinny jeans and short shorts look less vulgar on a ruler figure then on a curvy figure (sorry, but its the truth. I personally look for inspiration in vintage clothing (circa 30s, 40s, 50s) when hourglass curves were celebrated. Clothes at that time were based on hourglass measurements. Nowadays its based off the ruler frame 😛
Hope this helped.
I TOTALLY agree with the point you make about curvy body types attracting unwanted attention. I have a pretty average B/C-cup bust but my thighs and behind are on another level (I’m an American size 4 – 8, depending on where I shop). Wearing shorts even in the middle of summer will literally get me followed by random men. Every so often I come to terms with the fact that I’m built like a video-girl but yes, my curves and the fact that that is *all* many people see when they look at me *do* scare me :/
I guess it’s a personal journey to accepting oneself.
ugh i feel you on that! i am 4’11 with wide shoulders a b cup with a small waist nice hips full thighs but not super thick (secretly wish they were a lil bigger and my hips were a lil wider) and a butt i mean a BUTT lol nickname in high school was big booty judy or apple booty dudes found it funny to grab my butt randomly when i bent over or just make inappropriate rude comments while i am in love with my curves i sometimes hate the attention they get at times i wish i was smaller but i am happy that god blessed me with this and i guess i just gota work with what i got 🙂
Confused. You’re a size four with beautiful curves? I’m size 4 and I used to drink nutrament everyday, peanut punch whatever I could to put on size. Being in grad school, I lost more weight 🙁 you sound like my idea of perfect. I buy dresses with high necks to cover my collar bones and wear blazers to cover my skinny arms. I wish I had advice for you but I can’t see the problem. Maybe its bc I’m west indian.
I’m sorry I can’t relate. I’m battling a huge weight problem and have done so for years. I wish I had your problem.
girl be THANKFUL for those curves, i have what u think u envied – svelte, long legged flat chested look – i hate it – still do. how do u think i feel when everyone describes black women as “curvy” and i just DO NOT fit that equation. trust me like others have said, most ppl are probably watching u in envy..
I understand where you are coming from. I am a DD and sometimes I will buy an E or F. I am a size 12, small waist and curvy butt. I was down that road when I was younger especially being the only girl in first grade with boobs. As a woman in her thirties I embrace my curves. I look in the mirror every day and appreciate what men look at and cannot touch. I love me! Now don’t get me wrong when I look in the mirror I think…if I get on the stairmaster I can tighten up my butt or loose some inches off my hips or if I do some bench presses I can decrease or lift my bust. I think that is just our nature to want to improve ourselves, but in the end result I still embrace it & keep it humble, b/c there are many women paying for it. Look in the mirror and love what you see, you are beautiful.
I’ve got junk in the trunk, the hood, and all over the chassis :-). I’m regularly working out five days a week and eating sensibly (slightly) more often than not to try to offload some of it. But based on my proportions, no matter what I’ve weighed, I know that at an ideal weight I will look like a string with three rather large, strategically-placed knots.
My shoulders are narrow, but they’re fronted by a pretty impressive rack. My waist is proportionately tiny, then my hips flare out very wide, and thanks to a slight lordosis of the spine (the lower spine curves a little more than it’s supposed to and pushes my butt out further) and all the afore-mentioned extra junk, my bohunkus has a permanent, if invisible, “smack me” sign on it. No joke: A long time ago, during a staff party in the nurses’ break room at work, I was bent over doing something, and someone almost leaned on it with a plate!
Shirts that fit my bust are too big in the shoulders but may not come down over my hips. I buy my pants to fit my bottom and sew darts in the waist to make that area fit; otherwise, I have major gapping.
One of the most exciting things I ever did for myself was to order salwar kameez from India. I’m not Indian, but I will occasionally wear salwar kameez in pmblic. The price ranges are from the very cheap to the very expensive, depending on how you get them; and if you send accurate measurements, you will get a three-piece garment that will fit you very beautifully, and you will look and feel beautiful in it. The salwar (pronounced “SHAL-var” is the harem-looking pants, traditionally tied with a drawstring, although some are being made that fasten with a zipper or in other ways, again depending on where you get them. You can also get them skinny (These are called churidar, or “bangle pants”, because they sag around the ankles and look like you have bangles down there) or in straight styles that look more Western. The Kameez is the tunic that goes over the salwar. It typically falls to mid-calf and can be more form-fitting or more tubular, according to your preference. The third piece is a long scarf called a dupatta that can be used as a shoulder or neck drape; or for a muslimah, it can do hijab duty if it’s wide enough; I think you use something called a shaylah scarf that’s about the same size.
I got my salwar kameez from s2fashions.com, but the ‘net is awash in merchants in the U.S., Canada, UK, and South Asia (India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka) who all offer to sell you a garment perfectly tailored to your body, whatever your size. If you don’t want to get that ethnic, try the shorter version of the kameez, called a kurti. It’s basically an Indian shirt, but again tailored to fit you.
And the really nice thing about the salwar kameez is that they’re so Westernized in some cases that if you can use a sewing machine, you can probably find Western wear that looks pretty similar in a lot of respects. Additionally, a skilled seamstress can tailor the clothes to her own body.
You can, in fact, do your own tailoring with anything you make for yourself, which makes this a very viable option for dressing your frame in fashions that might not otherwise fit you properly. It takes some practice, but learning to sew is a lot less intimidating than you may at first think. Maybe there are meet-ups where you can learn how if you’re interested :-).
Hahaha, I’m 5’7″ and 120lbs with tiny boobs and a tiny booty. When I was a kid, I had a big booty, but as a hit puberty, it just got smaller and smaller… 🙁
I do have wonderful hips, though! I like to show those curves off to the best of my ability. Love what you’ve got, honey! Someone else is probably uber jealous of your curves!
What positive comments!
I’m personally a petite at 5″. I’m an B-cup with a round butt that isn’t too big. My mom likes to call me “pancake butt” because I don’t have a butt as big as hers. XD
I can get insecure sometimes because my body type isn’t the ideal body type for a black woman. It more stereotypical Asian woman than anything else.
Well count your blessings sweety, as most women who have these ‘super curvy’ figures are seen as sex objects and nothing more. They may be super smart, talented and great people but sadly in the end, men objectify them. I knew a girl once and she only wore boy clothes for that very reson. Everyone has a body they can work…trust me 🙂
Hi Jessica- I know it’s an issue of “grass is always greener” but you have the kind of problem I only WISH I had….I’m about 5’7, 127 lbs, a C cup on a good day, with arguably NO booty! Like seriously. Like, wear-tunics-alot-to-cover-the-droop-in-my-jeans no booty. Sad, but true. Try that as a black woman!
I say, rock what you got! I just look for the silver linings in all of it…you’re gorgeous no matter what and I bet that plenty of the women on your campus were totally envious of what God gave you. 🙂
This is me all the way! I’m a D cup & my nickname is big booty judy lol. But I’ve learned to embrace it. I’ve just accepted the fact that there are certain tops & dresses I can’t wear even though I am petite. I still force myself into those daisy duke shorts though lol
I also have to say I’m with you. While I am not petite, I am short or at least feel like it at 5′ 5″. My bra size is 32 DD and most of the bras I have don’t even fit me correctly because I settle for 34 D and even have some 36 C’s #fail. I’m also known for my booty shorts, because longer/bermuda shorts just make me look like an oompa loompa.
My main tip is to wear clothing that accentuates the waist so that you don’t look large overall due to two certain bulging areas lol.
I wish I was in the D category lol i’m way up in the big leagues try 32F! yes I said it 32F I think I’m a US 4 or 6 and sometimes I get self conscious about my boobs.I grew large boobs when I was about 13 it was like summer came and boom they were there! Then older guys got pretty pervy and I haven’t completely got over the uncomfortable feeling. Bra shopping is something I look forward to though, thankfully in the uk we have lots of brands for bustylicious ladies 😀
But I think of it this way guys seem to like the slim girl with big boobs look at least in the uk and people pay thousand of £’s and $’s to get what I have naturally. I go to school in a predominantly white area and I’m told by hips stick out too so I guess I’m balanced so yay for me 😀
I think what’s important to note is you’re not going to love your shape every single day we’re women that’s not how we roll lol, but to try and love it most days. Perhaps try and identify something you like about yourself everyday and work from there x
Hi Jessica, I feel you it can definitely be hard to know what to wear to fit your body type and be feminine at the same time. I’m 5’2″ too but I’m a B cup with a small butt and I always wished for bigger breasts so I could have cleavage as opposed to the dreaded gap:) But I was thinking wearing belted dresses or belts over a top or a vest will help to accentuate your small waste while allowing you to wear shirts that keep the girls in check.
God Bless
I would say to find what works best for your body type. Don’t try to fit in and wear what everyone else is wearing. If you are rocking the natural, then I believe that you should be able to rock and do whatever you would like. After I had my son, I gained some thickness in my butt. I love it, but I had to find what I felt comfortable and confident in. I don’t have the breast issue, but how you feel about your size does show to others, so just know that you are beautiful and although you dont feel as beautiful, the people around you probably think different.
everyone here seems to be top heavy…DDD, seriously? yet another reason for me to be self conscious. =/ i am just barely filling out a 32B cup. I got robbed.
Girl, enjoy it! No shade on those who are more blessed (b/c there are obvious advantages), but I enjoy my high B/low C ladies for all the reasons that they complain about theirs! I can easily find “pretty” bras, have no problem with spaghetti or strapless dresses, can wear low cut tops without looking “vulgar”, can workout without worrying about keeping the girls in place, don’t have to worry (as much) about sagging, and with the right bra can get major cleavage if that’s the look I’m going for. And let’s just say the menfolk haven’t had any complaints… I love my rack just as it is and really wouldn’t want it any bigger.
Hey guys, It’s Jessica (OP) here. I was responding to comments initially but stopped because so many started rolling in. Seriously I started taking NOTES on a lot of your advice. It means a lot to me that you guys would be so gracious in understanding where I’m coming from and offering advice. One of the reasons I love BGLH is that the community here is so great! Thank you ladies. It means so much! This made my day yesterday!
And I’m loving my curves a little bit more today 😉
I just want to thank everyone for all these supportive comments!! So glad to know that we can help each other out, even beyond hair 🙂
I always felt that way one way another in my adult life. I was overweight in my early 20’s with a very unattractive apple shape – wish I had your problem! Now that I lost the fat/weight several years ago and started weight training, the numbers on the scale get me down. I’m 5’6″ and weigh 167 lbs but with a large frame, large bones and solid muscle and wear a size 6. Some people think its a win-win because I also have a D cup breasts and hourglass figure, but those numbers on the scale are unnerving to the point that I don’t look at the doctors office anymore when I’m being weighed though my body looks great.
i can relate i’m 5’1, size 6, 36 DD & curvy. I grew up in around mostly white people, and all my white friends were slim w/not much shape and when i was younger all i wanted to do was fit in. I was so self conscious and i always felt “fat.” It wasn’t until i got to college that i really started to embrace myself for who i am. Being curvy isn’t as glamorous as TV makes it out to be. Being short & curvy is exxxxxtra hard because nothing fits right. A small/medium may fit my body, but then my boobs are falling out. If i find jeans that fit around my hips & booty, then they are too long. Cute bras & bathing suit tops are hard to find. I’m not complaining though because everybody’s different. I’ve learned how to dress to accentuate my shape. I think that no matter what shape you are, you can find pieces that flatter you and help you feel comfortable in your skin.
Nope, i am never afraid because I am not curvy..I am small on the top and the bottom so it’s never been an issue. I don;t know if that will change after giving birth but for now, I’m cool with what I have.
Wow! It’s hard to believe your a size 4 with all that junk in the trunk and in the hood! LOL!! Just kidding, girl! I’m pretty curvy and I’ve been curvy all of my life. Believe me, it’s harder to be curvy in your teens, because old men would try to hit on me all the time. That’s gross as hell! To this date, I cringe when older men look at me in a sexual way and I’m 33 years old! I guess my experience made me think almost every older man is a pervert. Luckily, I grew up around people who complimented my shape and made me feel okay about being curvy and not straight like a pole.
If you want your jiggly parts to look better, you need to workout and tone up. I learned early on in life that if I stay physically fit my curves will be banging! Trust me, most men love curvy women, especially if she’s in shape. So, if you’re not active, get moving and tone up your muscles. That should help out somewhat! Otherwise, you will have to learn to accept the things about your body that you cannot change. You have to love yourself completely or you will never truly be happy. That’s my two cents!
I don’t have your proportions (5’6″ and 140 lbs.) and I wish I weighed less. I have a small chest and I want to avoid looking pear shaped or bottom-heavy, and I really don’t like my ass sticking out of my work clothes. The sight makes me uncomfortable and I feel more confident with a leaner silhouette.
lol eh..i love my shape…probably bc i havent always had it..all through my teen years i was the black girl with the BIG boobs but flat butt! with wide hips..smh I went thru everything from..padding my pants (yes)..eating high carb foods…doing squats etc..to make my butt get bigger!..it was embarassing to me…my ex even told me he loved everything about me..except i had a
pancake booty’..smh..fast forward to the last year and a half since Ive been married and BAM!…booty!!..my mom,sister,husband (of course),even friends noticed it..we had a fight party this weekend and all my female friends kept saying how big it looked in my dress..and YES i was excited lol..not i embrace my ENTIRE body..cuz i finally feel its proportioned…and yes i know about the scared i look overly sexed in certain situations..church,meeting in laws,formal/business meetings..but honestly anyother time i wear what i want lol…and i love it..and so does my husband…the grass is always greener dear..like other commenters said, there are MANY women who wish they have what you have..and i used to be one of thing… 🙂
*them…
You are not alone here Jessica. I am 31 years of age, 5’2 tall, and I am a triple D, imagine that. Strapless anything has always been out of the question and yes, I know all about the ugly,huge, thick bra strap situation. I do also have the very round somewhat huge curvy bottom. Dont get me wrong I love myself, but I am going to get a breast reduction in the near future. This is a decision that I made because of the back and shoulder problems that I experience on a daily basis. ove yourself, but do what is right for you.
THIS! Now that I’m loving my natural hair I wanna love my body too. but these massive boobs are such a hassle. Since there’s so many people on here with the same issue, anybody know where I can by a bathing suit top for a 32DD? lol
Don’t know if I’ am suppose to do this. But fashionbombdaily.com just did a great post on swimsuits for curvy women and they were cute. Check it out figleaves.com for more selections as well
https://fashionbombdaily.com/2011/05/10/curvy-swimsuit-special-5-brands-for-voluptuous-vixens/
Lane bryant or her room (www.herroom.com)
I can really relate to this. I’m mostly bottom heavy, it took me 20 years to get into a B-cup, lol, but i digress. Since I graduated high school, it’s like i’ve sprouted hips from no where. I often feel disproportionate, since my top is small, & my bottom is wide. it just feels weird, & i’m also tall (5’9 at 174 pounds), so if I wear heels, i’m SUPER tall, like an amazon. Being bottom heavy is irritating too because of the attention, but i’m not the biggest fan of my body. these last few months have been me actually liking what i see for the first time ever. I’m called thick, but i would prefer to be slim. it would be SO MUCH EASIER to find pants in the cute stores, & not have to worry about having “butt space” lol.
If most had a choice between being top heavy or hip heavy or “shoulder heavy” (with barely any hips), they wouldn’t want to be “shoulder heavy” like I am…blegh…At least wide hips and boobs can be seen as feminine when the person is comfortably showing them but when are wide shoulders seen as feminine, alluring or appeasing?
Girl I feel you! I can wear my man’s shirts! ROFL My shoulders are almost as broad as his! XD
+1 …Massive shoulders, big back, and very long arms! I look very athletic, like I’ve been lifting and running while in the womb, LOL! A perfect triangle with big breasts-smh 🙂 What amazing and diverse creations we all are!
Peace and blessings sisters!
I can kind of relate, at least with the booty part. I would be a thinner size 14 instead of the almost 16 that my butt creates. Finding pants that fit is a nightmare! Low rise everything in stores nowadays is so frustrating! >:[
Not only that, pants that fit in the back but sag in the front- UGH! I have a hard time finding shirts too because I have big manly (sort of lol) shoulders and arms. I need to get into bodybuilding rofl! I will find a cute shirt, but the shoulder/sleeves will be too narrow. Or I will find the right size for my shoulders, but its too big on the chest. I’m a small B cup with no cleavage at all. Seriously! I have a space as big as my closed hand between my boobs! XD
Le sigh. I work with it though. I still have to lose weight, but those aspects of my body will not change. It doesn’t change with other relatives of mine who are older. so it will be the same with me. Then I’ll hit those weights to make the best of it! 😀
BTW. I’m 5′ 5″ and 27. So yep. XD
I am 5’5″-5’6″, 155 lbs and my measurements are 35-30-42. yep, 35-30-42. My hips stop my body from being “average”–I don’t have a particularly big butt, my breasts are a 34C, but my hips and thighs…oh my! I am very self-conscious about it because even though I’ve been working out and lost 32 lbs, my hips are still so wide and it feels like my pants size will never get below a 10. I am flabby and afraid to wear a swimming suit, I just want to be normal. I feel like my body won’t look halfway “normal” until I get to 130 (whenever THAT happens) and even then, I know I can’t fight the hips and pear shape that comes with being black ;).
Despite my somewhat negative comment (just expressing my grievances), I don’t *hate* my body. Things could always be worse, and at least I am healthy and happy.
Ok so let me say I just stalk this site like a job, lol. I never comment, I just want to know people’s opinions and whats going on in the black hair world. But this hits close to home. First get yourself measured and not by Victoria’s Secret, Aerie, or a Nordstrom specialist. They lie…I am really sorry, but I think their purpose is to sell you something not to make you feel good and find a great fitting bra. I used to be told I am a 36D. Then I went to a bra specialist. Go to this website and find someone near you (https://www.myintimacy.com/).
Honey, I know how you feel. Get this, I am 5’3”, 115lbs, and my bra size is…drumroll…30F!!! I am huge! And it use to be a major problem, being large breasted in high school and college and no one believed me about my breast size. I couldn’t wear cute bras. I couldn’t wear thin straps. Nothing, and my mom did not help by putting me in this ugly minimizer with massive straps. In college, I had decided to go on a booby journey, kind of like a hair journey, but for my boobies, lol. After a couple of years of searching and trying different bras at different companies, I came across these UK sites:
https://www.lasenza.co.uk/
https://www.bravissimo.com/
Apparently, in the UK, the motto is “the bra fits you” and not the motto in the US where “you fit the bra.”
I shop at Bravissimo exclusive and only for bras. Yeah, in the US, you get a cheaper deal, but you can’t find bras like this here. They last forever, they are cute, and the straps are thin. I learned that 90% of support from a bra comes from the band, not the straps. I hope this helps because seriously, I know how irritating this can be. Good luck girl!!!
i can kinda feel your pain! was always top-heavy (got a lil something on the bottom too and some hips) but i walked into lane bryant recently to get fitted for a bra and they were excellent! so, it gives finding a bra in the US some hope, lol. girl, i was at a 38H, which blew my mind (i thought i was a double D or something), but my clothes fit SO much better now! and i’m a shortie (between 5’1″ and 5’3″). now…no more doubling up on bras to minimize jiggle, no more crazy jiggling, and it gives a nice lift to natural boobies lol, so i recommend em to our top heavy sisters. plus the bras don’t look like some ol grandma bras (you know what i mean)! lol
Hey love. I know exactly how you feel.
I was a pudgy kid until I curved out in the seventh grade. Yes, seventh grade. It was a living hell; I felt like a freak and I got so tired of the cat calls from the upper classmen that I wore baggy clothes that just made me look dumpy and depressed. In high school, I wore a uniform, but refused to wear skirts, opting for a too-big polo and baggy jeans. It wasn’t until college that I started accepting my curves and seeing that they were actually a blessing. Somehow, I ended up wearing clothes that actually fit me and got a ton of compliments from guys and girls alike, not perverted remarks. From then on, I’ve learned to accept my body for what it is and dress accordingly. True, tube tops and spaghetti straps will never happen for me, but I have learned that certain silhouettes (scoop necked tops, wrap dresses and tops pencil skirts, straight leg and trouser leg jeans, a little stretch in all of my fabrics, etc.) give me my own brand of sexy while still looking appropriate.
Bottom line is this: Curves are not the enemy! They are your friends! Embrace them!
My suggestion: go to a large department store (Nordstrom, Macy’s, Bloomingdales) and have a personal shopper pick some clothes for you. These stores do this for free and you’re under no obligation to buy anything. Having an unbiased professional help you dress (I went in for work and fun clothes) changed how I viewed my shape because I actually learned what to avoid and what would flatter my curves. It changed the way I shopped completely (you can take her advice and head to your favorite stores!). Of course, changing the outside appearance is just one step in accepting yourself, but if you feel confident walking into a room or down the street, it can’t help but make you feel better overall.
someone earlier mentioned salma hayek and I think she is a prime example of packing a lot of punch in a little package. Also maybe try clothing shapes that make you think of the 50’s as that was defo and era of the hour glass. Jersey is also a good fabric as long as you don’t go for anything too tight and wrap dresses are a Saviour for everyone. Also if your booty is really bothering flared skirts can always hide that. HTH
I can and can’t relate. I’m not top heavy, but I am bottom heavy. It was more pronounced when I was overweight though. When I was heavier, I couldn’t wear suits because the tops would always fit but the bottoms never would fit. I had to always get separates. Now that I’m no longer plus size, it’s been easier. Also, I do squats and lunges to tone the butt. It’s still a good size, but more shapely. I was self-concious about my shape growing up because I was raised in a predominantly white area and that kind of shape is not revered with them, but I could care less now.
LOL at I’ am going to need a breast lift by 30…girl I feel your pain let’s just say my cup runneth over a couple of times. But it goes to show you that the grass isn’t greener on the other side. I always had big butt and boobs since I hit puberty and always wished I had that long, lean tone body like Noami Campbell and for a long time I use to hide my body in oversize clothes. But over time my confidence starting building and instead of fixing on a body that I will NEVER have I started working my body to my advantage now now I am at a good place with it, I won’t say perfect because it is still a struggle but I’ am happy.
I know how you feel, you are not ashamed but frustrated that you can’t wear the cute outfits that are out. I’m 5’7″ and have curvy hips, and am a C bordering on a D. My problem with curves is not the clothes, but the attention I receive from men. I am not a short skirt, over flowing cleavage kind of girl, but because of the way curvy women (Amber Rose, Kim Kardashian, Video models) portray themselves, I get unwanted attention from men. I stay in jeans, and loose t-shirts to keep from having to deal with it.
I am sometimes embarrassed of my body as well. I have a small chest, 32- 34A, which does not really bother me, but I hate my hips! They do not really protrude, but I would be alot smaller with out them.What makes it worse is that I feel that some ppl put to much emphasis on my hips, even when they try to compliment me. I love myself from the waist up, which I usually say. I’m still working on the bottom half. I am also 5ft 5in, and slender but at the end of the day, when I look in the mirror, all i see is hips :0/
Ladies, I think we all go through this at various points in our lives. But, just to share my two cents, I have no hips. That’s right- straight down! I remember when my menses started, each month I would check to see if the hips had spread just a little, but alas, it never happened. I am a size 4 pant and wear a size 10 or 12 blouse, blazer, or jacket. What makes it even worse, my waist is tiny, and at times too small to fit size 4. If I go down in pant/ jean size, then my thighs don’t fit. I have to work out extremely hard (I am over 30) especially core zones and buttocks to even give the illusion that I have some type of womanly curve LOL! I certainly understand the ‘vulgarity’ concern-but the right balance can be found. Nevertheless, at the end of the day, I am happy, healthy, mobile, and with all bodily systems functioning as they should. Love what you have-as women, we are ALL beautiful- itty bitty, big mama, medium, top or bottom heavy-YOU ARE GORGEOUS!! BTW I am 38, African-American, and 5 ft 6 in. Loving and accepting yourself does get easier and feels more authentic with time. Peace and blessings sisters!
yep. I’m hipless as well but I’m only 17. If I try to go down a size to fit my hips, my thighs wont cooperate -_- But skinny jeans totally create an illusion of hips sometimes.
@ babycoily-thanks!
I’m 34-26-39.5 and I’m barely hitting 5’2. So, I’m bottom-heavy, not top-heavy. I love my junk. My hubby loves my junk as well as “admirers” that I never asked for. I can’t relate. Sorry. I don’t have to apologize for what God wanted me to have naturally.
Imma be real, as a black girl was no ass, I wish I had curves to “hate”. Folk just need to be thankful for what they have.
I kind of agree…clearly, we all have our crosses to bear, but all of these people who are chiming in sound like they have totally lovely bodies, and that’s a problem that I wish that I had as well.
Funny, I was always the only black girl and my classmates were tiny white girls but I always thought a nice hourglass with a round butt (and hopefully a large chest) was the way to go.
While I definitely have a typical black shape, I have WAY too much of it, so I’d kill to have it in a much smaller version if you know that I mean.
I would say however, that finding something the builds your confidence might be what you are looking for. I’m so far from ideal but started working with what I have instead of trying to hide it and I get a lot of compliments b/c I’d gotten good at it. But I found that engaging in things that helped improve my fitness and strength kind of helped build my confidence in my body, so even though the original poster and the people who have written in don’t sound like they have an ounce to lose, strength training, martial arts, and other things might make you feel more empowered-but honestly, if you look like a black Jessica Rabbit work it and leave the halters and sun dresses to the women who don’t have what you are working with.
I mean, I’ve always thought that Pam Grier had one of the most gorgeous bodies of all time. How could you hate looking like that?
Oh, would also say, find a tailor to get your clothes fitting right, b/c NO ONE feels good if their pants are falling down or their top is popping open or riding up, which will happen if you are trying to fit curves of any size.
Get a professional bra fitter as has been mentioned. Will be expensive but worth it, and some of you might find that your girls fit in your clothes better with the right bra.
If you work out, invest in a high quality sports bra, hopefully you can find at the specialty store, but they do have sports bras that can reign in massive amounts of boobage, so you won’t be knocking yourself or anyone else out at the gym!
I do think that a lot of skinny girls feel the same way and envy you. Somehow people always wind up with the grass is always greener syndrome…
A lot of the commenters keep trying to tell Jessica what she “should” do and how she “should” learn to feel about her curves. I don’t think she is unaware that the healthiest thing to do is love whatever body type one has, nor do I think she is unaware that she can work out and tone up certain parts of her body and find flattering clothing. What she was looking for, in my humble opinion, is kindred spirits who have similar struggles. Advice on how to deal with her issue is helpful(though she didn’t request it) if given in a positive manner, but her question was “can you relate?”
I think the curvy life is totally glamorous and I love lingerie shopping! I’m 5’5 and really curvy all-over (34E, small waist, full hips-butt-thighs), but it took me YEARS that out. I though it was just about my weight, but NOPE, I’m shapely and going up a size doesn’t always solve the problem.
Getting fitted for a bra @ a lingerie shop w/ a good selection of sizes was probably my first step in the right direction. I don’t settle for ugly bras and love the way I look in my clothes. I love the Little Flirt boutique in NYC and these brands: Primadonna, Twist by Primadonna, & Fantasie (maybe check their websites for retailers near you to get fitted?). Please don’t settle for the sad bras w/ super thick shoulder pads. The band of your bra should actually be bearing most of the weight of your breasts, so you shouldn’t need crazy straps to keep your them in the right place. If you’re experiencing any dig in— you definitely need to get fitted. Nicer bras can be more expensive, but I consider them an investment in my future body. 3 nice bras can pretty much get me through a full year (I think black bras are the most practical for women of color and don’t own a strapless bra– that would be an investment).
Right now, I’m LOVING dresses b/c the right one can highlight my tiny waist w/out making a spectacle out of my curves. Couldn’t be easier to get dressed in the morning and they’re usually pretty versatile. For all my clothes, I pay attention to cut. I love knee length dresses w/ an “empire waist” that nips me in, highlights my tiny waist, and then flares out! The length and the flare gives my thick lower body room to breathe, balances me out, and can actually make my backside less prominent. In contrast, you might find yourself popping out of something w/ a very straight an narrow cut, like this pencil dress: https://coolspotters.com/clothing/dvb-black-pencil-dress (even if you bought it 2 sizes too big!). If you’re determined to rock this look, try a longer than knee-length version in a knit/jersey/stretchy fabric that will give your curves some room to breathe. But if the fabric is shiny looking overly stretched out over your curves, put it back on the rack and keep looking. You don’t want to look overstuffed!
In general, for dresses, I usually favor flowy fabrics and fabrics w/ funky patterns and textures for added visual interest. Make sure the straps cover your bra straps, that the neckline doesn’t reveal more than you want to, and that the hemline isn’t higher in some places than in other. Most designers don’t account for my bodacious booty or ample breasts, so some dresses get really short & revealing on me really quickly! I always try to sit down and stand up a few times in the fitting room and check the lenght all around to protect against embarrasing ride up in the future. I think it has something to do w/ the fabric, but I haven’t figured this out yet, lol! While I love a waist band, I avoid dresses that have structured cups of any kind– b/c mine always overfloweth!!
For jeans and pants I love lines that really are made w/ curvy frame in mind so there’s less gapping in the back. I’ve been wearing the Gap’s curvy line for years and love their basic black pants for the work. You might still need a belt, but they tend to be more flattering and don’t strangle my hips and thighs!
I’m not perfect, but I still LOVE my body and walking through the world as a curvy bombshell! 🙂 It took me a long time to figure out which bits I loved and how to play them up and it’s not a journey you can fast forward through! The trial and error is important. Soon you’ll be able to pinpoint why things do or don’t work for you. Good luck and enjoy the ride!!!!
P.S. Wishing I had a blog you could visit for inspiration…. maybe someday?!
These are some really good tips! Love empire dresses. Also, love wrap dresses. They are truly a Godsend for just about every woman’s shape. Just throw on a cami underneath so that too much of the girls aren’t out and you’re done. I’m a dress girl, especially if the material is stretchy. They’re quick, easy and for the most part, figure flattering. Jumpsuits are also good — and they are so on trend!
THIS! Thank you. 😀
I’m not thick, but I do have a butt and I am very self-conscious walking down the street when men are present…I always try to make my hips stiff so they aren’t swaying. Lately I’ve been working on not doing this…
Wow! I had a flashback of myself. I’m 5’1″ on a good day. C cup and a round bottom. Ever since I was little people always made it a point to tell me I had a big butt (but at the time I had a small chest – barely A).
No matter where I went shopping I always had to try on my pants because they wouldn’t fit right – and when I did find a pair to ‘fit’ they’d be too big in the waist but fit everywhere else.
College is when I started growing fully into my body. My bottom half stayed the same size but then I got a B cup. Started to feel a little better about myself. But now as I approach 30 – my chest has grown and so has my bottom. My husband thinks it’s beautiful but I’m still trying to adjust to pants and now shirts not fitting right.
To be honest – I wasn’t fully comfortable with my body until I turned 25 and realized this is me and I should embrace it. I know plenty of people who say they wish they had my shape. I guess it’s kinda like the saying that the grass is greener on the other side (when in reality it’s not).
I think in due time you will feel more comfortable with your body. I noticed that when I started wearing clothes that fit me (and not trying to squeeze into something everyone else was wearing) is when I started appreciating what I was born wtih.
Lol believe or not i went through middle school and high school having the opposite problems. I spent years wondering how the shape being celebrated by black men and women alike, and envied by others had skipped me entirely. Wondering when i would blossom and fill out all my clothes,sadly it did not happened until my junior year of high school and out of nowhere “woop there it was lol. I remember buying all these cute clothes that all my friends were wearing and could not fit for the life of me. Growing up in a predominantly white area made it even more difficult, especially when in trying to balance who i was and who looked like me being a girl of color. What I’ve learn over the years people is that people can sense when you’re self assured and when you not, especially in your own skin. It’s a gradual process to get to that point, but at the end of the day you have to remember “love the skin you’re in”. You just ended up with what a lot of people pay good money for,god just ended blessing you twice fold. C’est Tous
Hey darling, I totally understand where you are coming from. I actually have always had a curvy body ever since I was in the 8th grade. The thing about that is older men would come and talk to me and to be honest being a 14-year old girl it was kind of scary. When I wore certain outfits the boys seemed to go crazy. This overall made me self conscious about my body and what I wore. I am still like afraid to wear anything because of how people may respond. I wear what looks best on my body not what is always in fashion or the trend. There is actualy a quote I would say is ” the grass isn’t always greener on the other side but just where you water it.” Be thankful and grateful for your body that functions properly, keeps you healthy and allows you to move around. If you focus on the way you don’t look then you u will not appreciate the person who God has already made you to be. I hope this can helps. Learn to love you.
serena williams is curvy, muscular and athletic. she was recently seen in a bikini, curves and all.
PS – I dont understand why we get stuck on the number for our size; if you’re that curvy it’s hard to be a sz 4. I always buy to fit my biggest asset and thats what i tell any female. its the only way clothes will look good on; of course then you’ll have to tailor but its worth it.
Honestly,
I can relate (somewhat) to this post. I am curvy and have some body image issues. Despite that I’ve been told I am proportioned, I feel like my breast are not big enough for my frame and my stomach is too big for my waist… so on and so forth. I grew up in the south were my shape (more so by black men) is celebrated but moving to a predominately white area has made me more self conscious than I was before.
We live in an era where everyone is trying to drop pounds, a little extra even if placed in the right areas makes some feel awkward and uncomfortable. However, despite the fact I desperately would like a flatter stomach and slightly bigger breast I have embraced my shape as sexy and it translates when I put on my “sexy” clothes
Thus in short… no, im not afraid of what is natural me. I’ve had a big butt since I was like 14 and over a decade later it hasn’t gone anywhere. So I learned how to work it and what to wear to make me feel comfortable. If I were skinny I would learn to love that too. You’ve got to love and embrace you. No matter what that is… hair, butt, and all.
I am reading all the comments and so overwhelmed by the support and kind words!
And to the people who are basically saying shut up and be grateful… please stop oversimplifying this. I don’t gain my confidence from looking at other women and imagining that they want to look like me :/ That doesn’t make sense to me and I don’t think it’s healthy.
I need to be comfortable with how I look, and the only person I’m concerned with is myself.
My curves are more Beyonce than Kim K, but I have been roughly the same size/shape since I was around 12. Other than a period in my teens when I thought I was “fat”, I have loved my body ever since. One of the things that helped me love my body is to embrace what it can wear instead of moaning about what it can’t. So I can’t wear a shift dress? I’ll rock the hell out of that a-line dress instead.
Focus on the beauty of your body as it is, not on what you’d like it to be. Google hourglass shape and you’ll find people like Salma Hayek, Kate Winslett, Sofia Vergarra and Christina Hendricks who are all genetically blessed on top and bottom. Study what they wear to find out what shapes/styles would be most flattering on you, not to copy them exactly. Find a good tailor! Most of us can’t wear clothes off the rack, not if we want to look our best. The curvier you are, the narrower the line is between well dressed and ‘vulgar’, so the more you need a tailor. Focus on what makes YOU fabulous, not what everyone else has. Personal style blogs are also a great source of inspiration. Fill your google reader (or whatever) with blogs of people that look like you (as Lexi suggested), not people whose look you covet.
Um, not all of the women that you’ve listed are “genetically” blessed as you’d called them. Google some photos from their early careers and you’ll see that they got the help of a surgeon’s knife.
I just think that if you are going to compare your parts to someone else’s you should be aware of what is real and what is injected or silicon, b/c your natural heavy breasts will not sit up high like fake ones.
It’s probably better just not to compare yourself too much to anyone and to work with what you have and learn how to dress it. I would say that women in Hollywood are the worst role models b/c not only do they try to conform to certain standards, but they tell major lies about how they got/stay there, which makes other women feel like abject failures.
For cute bras in all different sizes you should try Intimacy. Life changer…I fell in love with my girls all over again. The bras are so pretty!!
Also try Lane Bryant. I am 5’3 and a 38 DDD. They have cute bras at reasonable prices.
I understand what you are saying. But you reiterate it is all mental.
I have been very slim all my life about 110 lbs (at the MOST) and ALMOST 5’5″. Now I weight about 135 simply from working out in the gym (took me about a yr to gain this weight) Im ALL muscle now! But I like the way I look. Before, according to society I was TOO SMALL to be a black woman. I am still thin but muscular. (also being a past track and field runner, I am more used to having muscles;-)
My point here is…if you are not happy with the way your body is 1. learn to love by working with it. Try it in different things. Dont try to just be like Amber rose or Kim K. you’re NOT them! 2. CHANGE it! If you are jiggling too much. Get in the gym and tone it up! That way u can grow WITH your body, watch yourself change and love your body even more by just being ONE with it by watching it change. Kind of like natural hair. You might not have LOVED your hair the day you big chopped. But it grew on u b/c u learned to love it while taking care of it and learning about it. Do the SAME with your body!
You can be PRO-active with your body just as much as your hair!
But, it is much more mental than visual in nature. So you must not take images and imagery so seriously.
I was a tiny kid and an athletic teenager. I was a petite college student because of the 4 mile runs we did on my cheerleading squad. However, I went to an HBCU and thought it might sound stereotypical, the girls with the well placed jiggle got the most play. I guess I differ from the author in this way, though I feel your pain about wanting to wear spaghetti straps. Can you believe I used to squeeze my D cups into tube tops? Tragic. My schoolmates were always trying to gain to get that video girl booty so their stretch jeans would look banging from the back.
Since graduation, I’ve gained about 50lbs. It sounds like a lot but considering I was 110lbs as a college student, I had a little room to gain. However, at 5’2 I am as busty and curvy as anyone. I think a sort of acceptance comes with age. I’ve never really been uncomfortable with my curves because as a family, they have been celebrated as long as I was healthy and not grossly overweight.
I really like what Lexi and emma said! Getting into something like yoga or belly dancing to center the mind and body together might be a good boost.
I am somewhat bottom-heavy and am growing up top (I’m 31). I “blossomed” right after college so I semi-identify. Thanks for bringing up this issue.
What is cutesy or currently in style rarely works for the majority of the population. You may be able to take fashion cues from other cultures around the world. I’m not saying dress exactly like this or that people group but research and take notice of the things women do that are shaped like you. Then…WERK IT. Add your own flair to a style that may not be the typical thing around here but will look fab ON YOU because it’s suited to your body shape.
Also, although you said you aren’t plus sized take a look at some of the things Afrobella has posted on her site for fashion. It may come in handy.
Always remember: if it flatters how you look that matters more than what someone else may be wearing. Dress for YOU, not what you are not.
One other thing. For those who say “girl, be grateful for what you have…people die in back alleys for a shape like yours…” STOP. What the OP is speaking of is a legitimate concern, even if *you’re* just jealous. At least add something constructive, dag.
I am mainly top heavy but there is some bottom curve there too. Dressing is really hard but for inspiration and even shopping sometimes, I head into plus sized catalogues. You can get ideas from them and try to imitate what you like. I don’t really play with anything spaghetti strappy or strapless unless it’s a wedding and I know that I will be fully covered. I hope this help.
Be happy with what you have, someone envies and wants to be you 🙂 The grass is never really greener on the other side.
Oh how I feel your pain with the strapless dresses. I told my bf the other day I wished my breast were smaller. He looked at me crazy of course but I explained to him how the summer outfits and my breast don’t go. I am top and bottom heavy. You’re right not many women are blessed with both. Most have one or the other. I just take it for what it is. I’m still learning to love my body. I think it just takes time to learn what works for you just like everything else. I wear a ton of dresses because they compliment my figure and are easy to just slip on. I have a short torso and wide hips so dresses are my friends. I don’t think you have to hide your body, but you can find clothes that work with your figure. But it takes time. You have to work at it.
Lemme tell you, I know what you mean! With the weather warming up quite quickly, I’m suddenly reminded about how much I “didn’t loose” or the things I “wish I could wear.” I’m also quite….shapely. Double D’s, small waist, with a butt that so many joke about being able to sit a plate on. I’m not one to wear my arms out….nor my legs, i pretty much do a 3/4 sleeve and capi pants that don’t reveal my calves too much….piano legs i think they call em’ SO what does that make me? Hot as all get out because I refuse to wear anything that shows too much here….or there….. so i guess insecure is the word for it. I also went natural and fell in love with my hair (i just turned 1 year on the 7th), now i’m just trying to transfer that pride over to my whole self! LOL Self confidence ain’t easy but it is necessary. Not too long ago I made up in my mind that no matter what size I am (i’ve been big and “small”) I was going to love me EXACTLY as I am. Whatever size you are you’ve got to have a “fire” about yourself. A lot of what we see today in the media is so much the opposite of what reality is that NO ONE is good enough, small enough, pretty enough, it’s a mess. So i went on a search to find something that looked more like my reality. Check out these links…..it helped me realize that size and shape and curve IS beautiful.
https://GirlWithCurves.tumblr.com/
https://mseverything87.tumblr.com/
https://embodystyle.tumblr.com/
https://curveappeal.tumblr.com/
Embrace it! I too am built like this. And I always feel so feminine. I learned how to dress for my body type. I’m not a fashionista though. This can be hard for the summer but my easy rule is “if the ta tas are out the bottom is conservative and vice versa”.
I feel you on the clothes riding up. Finding pants that don’t ride down when I sit is a challenge. Lol
LOL! Girl YAS! The riding up is a CHALLENGE. A lot of times my dresses will be 1.5 inches higher in the back than in the front because they ride up on my booty!!
I have actually begun to realize that I need to invest in a tailor. Wearing clothes right off the rack just ain’t working for me 🙁
I can totally relate. I am a little shorter than you are. I entered college weighing somewhere around 90 pounds with a B-cup. I remember gaining that infamous freshman 15, which brought me to 105 pounds. I thought I was SO fly!!! I finally had more of a butt and hips, but I remained happily a B-cup. THEN…I graduated and put on a few pounds here and there…all in my chest! I was a size 4 in a 34-D bra and I hated it! I’m 35 and married with 2 kids now. During and after pregnancy, my breasts and hips reached gargantuan (DD and DDD!) proportions and I was miserable! You can be a size 0, but if you have a larger chest, you will look heavier than a small-chested size zero. Not to mention the effort of finding shirts and jackets that fit both your bust and your waistline. Now, even when I approach my lower weights, I never get smaller than a C-cup. I want to go braless, or even fit into cuter, skimpier bras. I want to freely wear spaghetti straps. I’m not a fan of cleavage but at my size, it often can’t be helped. I feel your pain!
Girl, YES!!! You are speaking my language!!!
It is really hard because depending on what I wear, if it’s not tailored enough, the protrusion of my breasts make me look like I have a gut/wide middle. And there aren’t many tops that have room in the bust, then slim down in the waist.
And it is true that large-chested girls look heavier than flat-chested girls, even if they are the same size!! It also distorts the scale. I weigh 139, which is towards the top of my weight bracket for my height, but most of that is breast & booty weight!! So I don’t even have a clear sense of what a healthy weight is for me, taking my curves into consideration.
Just hearing this makes me feel so much better. I’m not alone!
Maybe the problem is that your body changed at an odd time. Most women know what their bodies are by the time they finish high school yet yours changed after that. I think you just have to get used to the new you. Perhaps a dance class or yoga will help you gain better control of your new “parts” and enjoy them 🙂
I can understand the frustration. I don’t have a real big booty or nothing, but my chest is big for my body size. I’m a D cup and the rest of my body is rather slim. Plus I have wide hips. In other words, I don’t feel like my body is proportionate. Shopping for shirts is not fun. I can’t wear the cutesy bras and tops. Like the reader stated above, I get very self conscious about how my boobs look when I’m at work and other places. I worry about looking “vulgar”. So I wear mostly loose flowy tops. And of course my husband hates those kind of shirts. I have been told I shouldn’t complain about my boobs, but the grass aint always greener!
Girl PREACH! I struggle with the whole “vulgar” issue as well. It’s like, do I dress dowdy? And downplay my clothes so everyone feels comfortable? Or do I dress nicely, but have my tits and bits jiggling all over the place.
I feel like I haven’t come to a firm decision on this issue and I really go back and forth. But at age 25 (and MARRIED to boot!) I feel like I need to mature on this issue and decide what it’s gonna be!
:)Hate to sound like an old woman at 36, but let me tell you: Enjoy your shape, whatever God has blessed you with, while you are young enough to enjoy it. I’m 5’1 and have always been top heavy; I’ve grown into the “booty” as I’ve gotten older and it’s become pronounced than it was even 5 years ago. I can def understand the “vulgar’ thing. I can remember wearing move sumthin’ dresses in the early 90s. This was the first time I ever showed off the “girls” (I was 17/18) at an outdoor festival. I got groped! Wore a tight shirt and got groped again, and this time, I feared for my life because the dude who did it was with a group of guys. It made me go the opposite direction — I wore nothing tight for YEARS. Would even wear my shirts buttoned up to the neck. It took me a long time to get out of that. I always tried to deemphasize my femininity, going out of my way when I was in my early 20s to not wear anything tight or suggestive. I NEVER wore turtle necks or tight sweaters. I purposely tried to look older. That won’t work when you get older (because by then, you probably won’t mind looking a few years younger, lol) and your body changes with age. I’ve gotten shaplier as I’ve gotten older, but with maturity, I’ve grown to appreciate my body. You’d never catch me in a tight move sumthin’ dress now, but I do wear figure forming dresses. I won’t wear big shirts, because, lets be honest: No top will really hide the girls. If someone has a problem with my boobs, that’s their problem, not mine. Married w/3 kids and I give women 10 years younger a run for their money. I always keep it grown, sexy and classy! All you have to do is find the balance.
I am not top-and-bottom-heavy, but I am extremely bottom heavy, and only 5 feet (even less on a bad day 🙂 ) And it jiggles when i walk.
I used to be so self conscious because people always remarked on how my butt would look “normal” on a much taller person but looked huge on me. Ever since I was a child people have commented.
But whatever. It’s what God gave me and it took me making a decision to enjoy my body the way it is to let go of being so self conscious about it. I am still conscious about my bum, but it doesn’t bother me anymore. In fact, I kind of like it.
Go girl! I’m still trying to learn that confidence!
To be honest, you should always be happy with what you have. Looking up to people like Amber Rose and Kim Kardashian for anything is not a wise choice. There are women who would love to have a curves and who have quite literally ruined or ended their lives in the quest to have get those curves (back alley plastic surgery). So when I hear a woman complain about her curves, it’s just nonsense. We have gotten to a point in society where our men are saying things like “Oh White girls got ass now”. Therefore a Black Woman with no ass is now seen as being “less Black” than her Caucasin counterpart. So once again, find something else to complain about because there are chicks out there who wish they had your physique. If White folks are looking down on you because of your curves, I recommend that you get some self esteem or move.
Well, I’m 25 and I definitely don’t look up to Amber Rose and Kim Kardashian for anything BUT fashion advice, because honestly I haven’t found anyone else. A lot of black celebs are bottom heavy, but not top heavy as well. Even J-Lo and Beyonce are relatively small-chested.
Amber and Kim are the best I’ve found in terms of women who are heavy on the bottom and the top. It really is hard to figure styles and fashions for that shape. I usually take what they do and make it a little more modest to try to work it to my advantage.
Way harsh, Tai. (I hope someone gets that.)
There are many people who have less than stellar feelings about features that people would (literally) die to have. It’s not as simple as “get some self-esteem or move” in my opinion. She shouldn’t feel bad because she happens to be self-conscious.
But I think that learning to appreciate what you have IS important. Hollywood isn’t the place to go in search of body diversity, but that’s what the internet is for! 🙂 I am not a huge fashion blog reader, but I’m sure there are plenty of women of all shapes and sizes rocking their fly fashion. You can start at Independent Fashion Bloggers (https://heartifb.com/)
I totally saw Cher as I read that… someone got it 😉
I loved clueless. RIP Brittany Murphy…
I agree. You can’t just “get some self esteem”. I’m not even sure how that is done.
I got that too. Even read it in her voice! lol
I’m not the type to just give someone a pat on the back and say “it’ll be ok”. Sometimes you just have to man up and move on. Why complain? Either do something about it or don’t. It’s just that simple. We all go through body issues throughout our lives. What are you going to do, just be uncomfortable with yourself for the rest of your life? I think another young lady on here said that she can’t relate due to the fact that she has been battling a weight problem her entire life. We all go through struggles, but rather than complain about it DO SOMETHING. Learn to love yourself, learn more about yourself, and possibly change your environment (if working around White Folks when you have curves is that hard, get a new damn job). If y’all want to have a pitty party, knock yourself out.
So basically what you’re saying is, ”Love and appreciate the curvy/voluptuous body you have because there are slim/skinny womens out there who would love to have more curves”??? I don’t think that’s something to tell someone with body issues. The person shouldn’t have to live and go on with life by constantly having to remind herself that other ”chicks” would want to have her body. That’s not confidence, but raher low self-esteem.
I wish I had your problem! I have extremely “modest” curves, lemme stop their non-existing,SMDH. I would love a bubble butt any day.
I am sure you will grow to lover your body as time moves by.