by
Black Girl With Long Hair
By Ijeoma of KlassyKinks.com
One of the biggest mistakes I see people make in their journey toward happier, healthier, kinky hair is holding to every single word, suggestion, or product recommendation that they get from their favorite blogger, their homegirl, or a random commenter on a natural hair forum. I can’t stress this enough: no two heads of hair are the same, so your optimal hair care routine shouldn’t be exactly like that of another kinky haired queen. There are some standard recommendations that the majority of naturals abide by, but I’ve decided not to, for various reasons. My momma didn’t raise a liar, so I’m not going to sit here and say I’ve never done these things – in fact I used to do them all – but I’ve grown out of the need to. Check them out below:
1. My Hair Type Is…
Some people view hair typing as the first objective after their big chop, believing that they will be able to identify with and thus learn from other naturals who share their same hair type. Some bloggers have even branded themselves based on their hair type, and you can easily hashtag #4a or #4c and come up with tens of thousands of hits. In my early YouTube days, I definitely identified as a 4c, and then as my hair grew out more, a 4b/4c. One defining moment that moved me away from hair typing actually happened on YouTube, I had made a length check video at the 1.5 year natural mark of my journey. Yo, people in the comments were straight ARGUING that my hair was not 4c, it was 4a; others were countering that it had to be 4c for reason xyz. Mind you, I was making videos using the webcam on my Macbook, so this was some amateur quality video clarity that commenters felt showed them my definition! At that point, I pulled up my big girl panties, decided not to be hurt or offended, and concluded that hair typing was something that was a personal decision. At some point, I tried again to determine my hair type, only to find 5 or 6 different charts, some of which used pictures of celebrities with afro wigs in the kinkier range. So I made a video on my frustrations with the whole hair typing situation, and shortly thereafter, gave up hair typing for good. Once I learned about other ways of describing one’s hair – such as density, thickness, and porosity – I saw those as far more useful, and objective classifications. Now, if you ask me my hair type, I’ll tell you that it’s kinky. C’est tout.
2. Length Checks
Another change that happened due to YouTube: I don’t focus on regular length checks anymore. For one, I never set out for a certain length goal, so really what’s the point of measuring my length every month or three months? Secondly, YouTube naturals will be like “but your hair is supposed to be x inches long by now, and it’s x-1 inches long, so you’re messing up!” All I wanted when going natural was to have thick, healthy hair, and I believe I’m doing a good job of achieving that goal for myself. This is another reason why I am diligent about trimming my hair; I’d much rather have 8 inches of perfectly thick and healthy hair than 10 inches of thinned out, straggly ends. If I was striving for waist length hair, I’m already doing a few things that would be setting me back, such as coloring my hair several times and being unfaithful with protective styling. Finally, I don’t straighten my hair enough, and I don’t have the desire to straighten regularly, to do “accurate” length checks. Knowing how much my hair shrinks, it’s highly likely that I will have variable lengths based on how stretched out my hair is, so consistent results can only be obtained with straight hair. My hair is longer than it ever was when relaxed, so I’ve achieved my length goal if there ever was one, so I’m not concerned with length checks.
3. Using a Wide Tooth Comb, Denman Brush, or Tangle Teezer
Now don’t think that I use rat tail combs and boar bristle brushes to detangle my hair! I used to rely heavily on wide toothed combs in the shower while detangling, and Denman brushes to further detangle before styling. I don’t remember what exactly inspired me, but I haven’t combed or brushed my hair since August of this year (since my last hair color). I can’t prevent hair stylists from not combing my hair, so when I got cornrows for my birthday, trust and believe the braider attacked my hair with a comb. Instead of detangling with tools, I just use my little fingers and go through my hair strands before washing. I spritz my dirty dry hair with a mix of water, oil, and conditioner, cue up a Netflix movie, and go to work. I also don’t believe in having perfectly detangled hair anymore; I don’t see why it’s necessary. As long as I’ve removed major tangles from my hair, I’m not going to worry about separating each of the thousands of strands of hair on my head from each other, knowing they’re going to want to get married again in 5 minutes. Yes, it takes longer, but I’m able to find knots and tangles without first pulling at them, which is what combs and brushes do.
4. (Bi) Weekly Wash Day
Also in the hair maintenance department, a lot of naturals co-wash weekly or more often, and shampoo biweekly or more. This girl over here? In the summers, I MIGHT co wash every other week, but otherwise, I shampoo and deep condition once a month. Considering I exercise semi regularly, you might be curious to how I’m not walking around with smelly hair. I don’t sweat too much from my scalp, but I do very regular scalp massages with a light oil (jojoba most often) to keep my scalp super duper fresh. Tea tree oil is also super helpful when your hair starts flaking but you need to get a few more days (or a week lol) out of a style. I don’t necessarily think that washing your hair less frequently helps with hair growth or anything, but being a lazy time-efficient individual, I feel like I should only wash when my hair needs a serious cleansing. Furthermore, I’d go three weeks without washing my hair when it was relaxed (tryna stretch out the initial style) so I don’t understand why some naturals find it necessary to douse their hair in water every few days. Whatever floats your boat.
5. Having a Hair Twin/Hair Crush?
This final diversion from most natural hair practices is that I don’t have a hair crush, nor a hair twin. I’ve already addressed how no two heads of hair are the same, and an Instagram photo can’t show you a person’s density or porosity to determine whether their hair is just like yours. As for the hair crush, one of my favorite comments I received on YouTube was “I am my own hair crush”. That was the greatest, most self-affirming statement about anyone’s hair that I’d ever seen! Especially amongst kinky haired ladies, some of us crush on people with – let’s be honest now – longer, less kinky hair. Just check out the natural hair bloggers with the most followers, how many of them have a spherical afro? Hair crushing dangerously tiptoes the line of hair hierarchies, so we have to work extra hard to love the hair that we were given. I’ve now adopted the mindset that I’m my own hair crush. I don’t envy anyone else’s hair, and I am flattered, but sort of dismayed, when people say that I am their hair crush. We should strive towards full acceptance of our kinks, and not lust after another woman’s head. It’s not about pomposity, or thinking that my hair is any better than anyone else’s; I definitely look up to other natural haired beauties and respect their diligence towards healthy hair care, their innovative hair styles, their patient approach to educating others about natural hair, or their ability to build a brand. But when it comes down to which head of hair I like the most, it’s got to be my own. You can say the same thing about body type… you’ve got to love your own more than anyone else’s, and even if you’re not completely happy with it, you have to try your best to be comfortable in your own skin.
Are there any common natural hair practices that you don’t do? Do you think there are certain things that all naturals have to do to have healthy hair?
Klassy-Kinks.com founder and editor, Ijeoma Eboh, is on a mission to change perceptions of kinky textured hair around the world.
72 Responses
I agree with all of the above, except that I do have two hair crushes. I don’t bother to crush on someone who isn’t even a 4 type but I wash my hair once a month and it isn’t smelly. Believe me my children would tell me if it was, they have no trouble telling me my bum jiggles when I walk or that I have a fat tummy
I’ve tried finger detangling and not using a comb for awhile because so many naturals raved about retaining length etc. It didn’t do anything but make me lose length. I dealt with extra tangles, knots and splits all due to the extra hair being stuck in my hair causing problems. I also found it was way too time consuming. I would spend 15 min on a small sections and it still would not be detangled properly.
I finger detangle the big tangles so i can avoid breakage but I wont go without a comb again. I also don’t use tangle teaser or a brush to detangle because they add to split ends.More than likely because of the multiple teeth going through the hair. I was using a knockoff denman and notice splits within days of using it, so i stopped using it.
I’m glad I’m not the only one that does some of these. At the same time, I do wonder if maybe I should try doing the opposite of some of these more often, since my hair stays at really slow growth and not the most amazing retention.
I definitely agree with #2. I’ve had so many naturals look at me sideways when I say I don’t have a length goal. Long hair isn’t why I started this journey.
This post right here really helped! I’m only 5 months natural so I’m glad I found this relatively early 🙂
I like this. I don’t do all the standard natural regimen steps and hoops.. when I day I don’t oil my hair or scalp, even white people look at me like “but you’re supposed to”. I hate twists. my hair gets more knotted being in twists than when I just wear a fro. and my curl pattern varies so much thru my head that I never could figure out my hair type and the tips for my possible hair type(s) yield horrible results… anyway, yea. I do my own thing although I think it’d be easier if I could treat my hair like everyone else lol
I always use to think there was something wrong with me by not having a hair crush. I don’t know of anyone with my hair struggles and so I can’t have a haircrush. I also do finger detangling because I see it a waste of time to have 100% detangled hair. The styles I do don’t require perfectly detangled hair anyway. I use to co-wash weekly when I used gel and sticky hair products in my hair. But now I do bi-weekly. I do length checks though because my hair grows slow and breaks easily. And i don’t want to go back to the stunted growth I had in my relaxed days, so I keep an eye on progress.
I think everyone does length checks, either conciously or unconciously.
themanecaptain.blogspot.ca
Hi! I’m new to this site and this by far the best article that I have read yet. 🙂 I currently have locs seven years in and I plan on going back to wearing my fro after the first of the year. I also am a mother of two girls ages 9 and 6 and I’m so gun ho about teaching them loving and acceping theirselves. And yes! Their naturals are different even with the same mother and father.
My favourite article so far! I agree with everything. Especially about length check and hair crushes.
I didn’t realise I was my own hair crush till I read this. I keep a photo near my bed side of a collage of me wearing my hair in my fav twist out styles lol. I love my fro. And the length I didn’t care about either until watching YouTube. Love YouTube but sometimes too much of a good thing can be bad for you. Xx
love this….I use the hair typing system but I do not take it to seriously lol…I do not fully detangle either and I worn my boo not to try to get his fingers from my scalp outward cos he may catch a snag lol…I use my fingers to detangle now because I like to feel the knots etc. My wash days are super fast! lol
I do personal length checks but I do not plan on doing any on my youtube channel especially since I really do not recall when I stopped relaxing lol
THANK YOU very much for this post, I feel relieved to find a person with kinky hair sharing my point of view and especially my habits!
Because, I don’t wash my hair as frequently as most the naturals do, however my hair don’t smell! Sometimes when I browse youtube channels, I think I don’t have a “good hair routine” comparing with other people, but finally, all that matters is to find his own tips. Thanks to you, I know that I’m not alone!
(in case of errors, excuse my English, I am french! 😉
P R E A C H! 🙂 You said it all. (But, I do wash bi-weekly or more if needed. Any longer than that, it’s a “Nappy Fruit Jungle”! 😉
When I finally saw my real hair texture, I realized, I’m the only one with this hair…I better love it. 😉
Thanks for the post. The biggest thing to remember is that different types of hair need different types of care.
I can relate to everything on this list. I don’t think I’ve ever done a length check in my life. I focus on health and maintenance. The growth will come.
I don’t do the hair typing system, either. I have plenty of pics and videos of my hair so people can come to their own conclusions. I just say it’s nappy and keep it moving.
#1. I disagree…I don’t have a problem with hair typing as long as it not used as a divisive thing; personally, I us it to help me find hair care products that are suitable for my hair.
#3. I agree…I have have all three(Denman Brush, Wide Tooth Comb, & Tangle Teezer) & I’ve never used any of them(I strictly finger detangle).
#4. Each person has to determine for themselves. based on their own hair care & scalp needs, how often to shampoo/co-wash. I wash my hair every 9 days(Why?….because on day 9 my scalp starts to itch & I figure it’s my scalp’s way of telling me it needs to be washed…once I wash it, the itching stops).
Thank you BGLH! This article is so on point. The author explained one important thing here: when it comes to your body (hair included) find what works for you, stick to it and help the other find what works for them as well instead of following you.
As for #1, I never typed my hair. I know it’s a type 4 and that is enough for me. Why? because I believe that nobody has the same type of hair strands front to back and ear to ear. Even identical twins sharing the same placenta can have different type of hair. Hair typing is just that for me, a way to try to categorize something that cannot be categorized because it’s difficult to take all aspects of what hair is and resume it as simply as that. Besides your own head of hair changes throughout the years according to your diet, your health, your environment, the products you use, your hair length and so on. Even if hair typing can be useful to find what products works best for your hair yet you still have to find what works for you. A good example of this is Herbal essence Hello Hydration. This product wasn’t geared towards type 4 hair yet some type 4 found in it their holy grail and some hated it. And that’s the case for lots of products out there.
#2, length check. I don’t do either. I always had long hair that I cut several times therefore I know I can grow long hair. Healthy hair isn’t an issue for me either because I was able to have healthy relaxed hair and I know my hair pretty well. My goal is to keep my hair healthy and leave it alone do its own thing. If it grows down to my ankle fine but if it doesn’t am fine with it as long as it’s healthy, nice and cute.
#3 is one of the most discussed topic in the natural hair community. As for me, I don’t fully detangle my natural hair; I never did and never will. Why? because to my understanding that’s going against the nature of my hair. I have curls that love each other, cling to each other and don’t want to be separated so why force them to? I use a Hercules Sagemann Magic Star jumbo rake comb 5660, the one with 8 teeth and that’s it. I detangle first with my fingers and then with my comb on lightly damped and oiled or steamed hair before shampooing and after my leave-in conditioner right before styling my hair. Combing wet conditioner loaded hair is a big no no for me. Sometimes I don’t even do the second detangling session because I wash in section. I get split ends when I comb my hair too much forcing it to seperate therefore I don’t.
#4. I don’t use a lot of products on my scalp and hair. I don’t sweat a lot on my scalp. I protective style 2-3 weeks out of 4 and my hair is long. When I had a TWA rinsing (not cowashing or shampooing) my head was a daily do, now that my hair is way longer, I refuse to stress my strands further more with cowashes twice a week and a (bi)weekly shampoo session. We are all aware of what hygral fatigue is and we know that a coconut oil prepoo is the way to avoid that therefore I refuse to stress my strands with such treatment twice weekly and I don’t have time for that either. Healthy hair grows on a clean scalp but clean scalp doesn’t mean too frequent washes. Unless you have a scalp condition that requires frequent washes I don’t understand why I will want to wash away the sebum that protects my scalp with frequent washes.
#5. I don’t have a hair/twin crush, same reason I said in #1: not two head of hair are alike. Find what works best for you and you will be fine. Here again the author is right: be your own hair crush. Style icons and Youtube naturals are hair crushes because we admire their self confidence and how much they love and know about their hair so why not start with ourselves? Love your own head of hair, be happy with it, learn its likes and dislikes. You can even name it if you want but work with it not against it and above all love yourself first.
First thing I have to say, That T-shirt is SO CUTE!
I feel that there is nothing wrong with trying something that someone on a vlog is putting out there. I mean you buy it(KEEP THE RECIEPT), you try it, and if it doesn’t work for you, you can take it back and get your money back. I’ve actually gotten some great tips from watching other youtube videos.
I haven’t done a length check. The only time I notice it is when it gets caught in something that it never has before. when it comes to washing, I wash my hair once every week. I work out everyday for at least 2 hours, so yes the scalp gets stinky and itchy. I choose to Cowash the majority of the month unless I’m doing a deep conditioner then I use Shampoo to make sure that my hair and scalp is clean. I have all the brushes that you mentioned and it depends on my mood which one I use. Sometimes finger detangling just isn’t enough. naturals put water in the hair cause its the best source of moisture, slapping oil on it doesn’t really give you moisture it just gives it a shine I guess you can say.
I don’t have a hair crush either, but still I would like to have a successful braid or twist out without it looking deranged.
I don’t protective style as far as buns are concern, the band being around the my hair causes serious breakage, instead I rely on low manipulation styles like twists, and a few updos that only require hair pins (or maybe bobby pins) and in rare occasions braids. I noticed far more retained length from hair that manipulated for re-twisting almost daily than from hair put up in a bun for a week to two weeks at a time, and that’s I know buns are big NO-NO.
Also I ignore the advice of trimming your hair 4-6 weeks. I think it better to trim as needed especially if length is your goal, I find my hair doesn’t grow fast enough for that frequency of trimming to help, rather trimming hinders my hair goal. I also find coconut oil not a good go to oil it clogs pores along hairline. Also figure detangling is to consuming do it in full, this is a case of “know thy self” I will inevitably cause more damage out of frustration, so I only do a little when I am washing/conditioning my hair, usually in sections, and when I am doing a quick style, assuming I am not dealing with a difficult tangle.
I like hair typing for the sake of styling expectations, only. I agree with # 4. I do rely on a wide tooth comb for detangling. Hair crushing, I don’t have one particular but I do admire others hair as far as keep your goals always in view, like a vision board. I pre-shampooing seem redundant, since I place oil in my hair through out the week.
Coconut oils is awesome in my hair. I do my hair in sections too in the shower. I don’t even really get hair typing Look at different strands in my hair I have 3A all the way to 4C, So I just categorize it as THICK.
I love this article. Many truths in it. However there are two things I can’t do without. 1. washing my hair weekly. I’ve tried to last longer but I just can’t. I love getting my hair wet and washing it 2. Is detangling. I am obsessed with detangled hair. I detangle almost daily. I know is a bad thing to do but I can’t help myself. I can get away with it now because my hair is short but I am afraid of what would happen when it gets longer. I seriously can’t keep my hands and combs away from my hair.
u detangle daily??? how? do you work or stay at home?
I work from home but I like retwist before going to bed and I detangle every single time. I put a netflix movie in my laptop while doing it and it doesn’t take me that long since it is usually tangle free. Last monday I did a style to last me the whole week and it has taken a lot of will power to keep my denman and my combs away lol. I also detangle my son’s hair everyday before going to school, he has long 3b/c hair. It’s a habit.
Oh No, I think you need a detangling support group. lol
I seriously do. lol
No you don’t! I like to detangle daily also; unless I have small twist then I just play spray my hair and add some butter. I have a hard time keeping my hands out if my hair when it is out.
I dread detangling my hair. I love washing it though, and it loves to be washed in return 🙂
I wash my hair weekly but use a homemade hair rinse for my scalp daily. I work out 5-6 days a week and I sweat in my head.
What’s your recipe for your hair rinse?
Great article and on point! I agree with everything, especially #5. Thank you
I strongly agree with #5 bcus i don’t really have confidence for my transiting hair . Hopfully one day ill walk outside with my head held high after this helpful post. i get this post she’s trying to let reality sank in our heads.
I get the everyone’s head is different message and I do think it is one that needs to be stressed, but I also feel the writer is projecting, especially with #2. There is no reason to have straggly ends if you care for your hair. There is also no reason to diligently trim natural hair if you care for it. The only reason why many stylists urge relaxed women to trim regularly is because of the chemicals, heat and constant manipulation. So it is okay if you have accepted that you have not had the length gains as other natural women, but saying it contradictory to say you are choosing healthy hair over length when healthy practices achieve length.
I AGREE WITH EVERYTHING ESPECIALLY THE CONSTANT WASHING ( I CLEANSE TWICE A MONTH), HAIR TYPING, AND HAIR CRUSHING. I CRINGE EVERY TIME I SEE SOMEONE TYPE THEY HAVE A HAIR CRUSH. YOU REALLY HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD. I ALWAYS SAY I CRUSH ON MY OWN HAIR. PEOPLE LAUGH BUT IT’S TRUE. IT’S NOT MENTALLY HEALTHY TO BE OBSESSED WITH SOMEONE ELSE’S HAIR
Agreed. O_o
You hit a home-run with this one Klassy-Kinks. I agree with all of the above 🙂
Great perspective Ijeoma! I am almost a year post bc and already feel exhausted trying to keep up with the ever changing/different regiments, suggestions and tips. I appreciate the wealth of knowledge out there but trying to keep up has become cumbersome. I decided that in irder for me to enjoy my hair journey it has to cease being a big production. I will listen to my hair and make adjustments accordingly! Falling in love with it more and more each day!
Like!
I relate to all of this!! I’ve been natural 10+ years and have never measured my hair. I don’t have the time nor inclination to straighten my hair to do a check. I never understood why a length check is done on straight hair when it’s worn curly, anyway. Also, I like to cut my hair too much for me to do length checks. When wash days (which are as needed) start taking forever, I cut it…and it grows back. My goal is to have healthy curly/kinky/nappy 4x hair. Blogs, boards, and sometimes videos (not into youtube) do provide inspiration but it’s about getting my hands in it and learning what works to keep it healthy.
Amen! I’m all on board for 1 to 5. Two years in and my hair is doing great, even though I’m breaking the rules. So much so, I’m my biggest hair crush.
After 3 years natural I feel like this process has been a lot like having a first child–you read all the advice, make yourself crazy trying to do every single thing right every single day because one slip up will destroy everything forever until you finally realize that your “baby” is a lot more resilient than you think.
Brilliant analogy! You’ve got me thinking of that diaper commercial showing what happens between the first kid and the second kid… 🙂
Upon first reading the title I confess I thought: “How many different times can it be said that THE ONLY THING that all naturals have in common is that we’re not using chemicals that permanently alter our hair texture? What is it with people who insist on thinking that there are rules that all naturals must follow?” I then reread it, and read the article, and saw that Ijeoma is basically saying exactly that.
Re hair typing: Used objectively as a means to an end and as a starting point, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. The problem is that too many black folks are still stuck on the concept of “good” and “bad” hair and have a hard time not applying subjective beliefs onto an objective (and, let it be said, unscientific) system. I’m still waiting for “4d” to become part of the canon…because some folks will never be convinced that their hair isn’t the worst of the worst. And on that note…
Re wash day: I rolled my eyes at that photo because at this point the most products I’ll use in a single wash day is five (5). I’m sure there are people who’ve got it down to 4 or even 3. I really do believe the KISS approach is possible for all hair types at all lengths. Yet again nobody wants to believe that this hair type — okay, MY hair type, which I call mostly-4b — doesn’t require the equivalent of a pharmaceutical lab’s worth of products and a corresponding amount of time investment.
i absolutely hate wearing protective styles for the sake of growing hair. i wear them because they are cute and then i want to try something else. i’m glad i’m not the only person completely confused by the “cover your hair” mentality. to be fair, i understand the convenience, trust me. but i personally like the feel and touch of my hair. if i can’t run my fingers through it something is wrong! i also wash my hair very regularly, like every other day. stinky hair is a big ick. sticky hair is a big ick. hard hair is a big ick. so most of the stuff people in the natural community salivate over, i tend to ignore. i guess the thing to remember is we are all individuals and you should always do what’s best for you.
[img]https://bglh-marketplace.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/collageme.JPG[/img]
I think you summed up what I’ve been trying to say. I don’t like protective styling for the sake of growing hair (I think this is fine if someone else does so. We all have different goals), because that’s never been my goal. Having braided extensions, wearing a bun or other wise tucking your ends away into a low manipulation hair style might be “protective” but that does not mean I am “protective styling”. I am just styling my hair! If I only wore out-styles I’d be so incredibly bored with my hair b/c there’s only so much you can do in that realm. Also, I’m the same with hair products. I was like that before I went natural (I HATE having too much product in my hair) and I’m the same now. I don’t buy any “natural” products, just oil, water, Shea butter, my one brand of shampoo and conditioner. I never liked adding gel and curly puddings and such to my hair.
Hair typing and length checks are the two things ive never really got into. I just don’t see the point. Sure I can classify my hair at 4b/c but big whoop. It doesn’t tell me anything except I belong in this box or corner concerning my hair. These things are just little phases naturals go through until they get the hang of their hair. After awhile most will figure out the best method is their own. Lol at the odd food bits in the #washday pic. I don’t know why people act like wash day is suppose to be a hit it and quit it type thing. Short hair quick wash day. Longer hair ( hey you signed up for it) not so much. Wash day should take as long as it takes. Plan for it and stop whining about it.
Healthy hair over length anyday
I pretty much agree w/everything here, and I’ve felt this way for some while. I have no problem with hair typing in the sense that it’s a good reference (people w/3c hair can do the same styles and someone w/4c hair and the styles will give totally different looks) but not as something to follow religiously. I have learned so much about hair in general since I’ve gone natural, but I’ve also remembered never to take anything to heart. I wash my hair when it’s dirty, I co-wash when I feel like it and I have never “protective styled” (I feel that is should only be called that when the goal is actually to protect) and two years later my hair is growing strong…. I think this post is just getting at the fact that all this hype is not necessary. There’s nothing wrong w/getting tips and stuff from youtube and blogs (It’s how I’ve learned to do so many styles) but people are really obsessive.
I agree w/you that people are more attracted to the looser curl patterns, whether you’re projecting or not, this is true. We are not far enough removed from being socialized to think our hair is ugly for anyone to say that disliking nappy hair or “having a preference” for looser/straighter hair is simply about personal preference. I doubt anyone is thinking explicitly “that hair is so much better” but when something is so engrained for 500 years it becomes implicit, and that causes people to be defensive when you point it out.
Yasssss, please remind us of the deeply engrained anti-kinky hair history that this country has and has spread around the world!
This ingrained mindset has actually been used as a tool of oppression without any help from the U.S. in MANY colonized countries, it didn’t develop in the US and get dispersed with the wind. Read historical accounts of Caribbean, South American and African countries and indigenous populations in Polynesia such as the Tongans. It’s hard NOT to find an area or group in the African diaspora and diasporic ‘Oceania’ that didn’t encounter and develop their own domestic-bred sources of color, facial feature and hair oppression.
None of that is “domestic bred”. In my post I was specifically talking about Black-Americans, in which case ours was ignited by Anglo people oppressing and marginalizing us. The same can be said for all those other areas of the world. You did not see them wanting straighter hair, lighter eyes etc. until they were touched by Europeans. It actually makes no logical sense to believe that they would covet something that they have never seen. If all you know if wide nose, nappy hair and dark skin, you’re not just going to wake up one day deciding that something different is better. It doesn’t work that way.
Agreed, Aretha. I would argue that the cycle is more “Anglo oppression —>ingrained mentality/lack of self-worth—>internal oppression”.
Sometimes, I like to daydream about what our world would be like if the great civilizations of old in Africa never fell.
THANK YOUUUU.
Good points that everyone is different. I don’t really follow too many of the natural rules anymore. I use heat to stretch my hair, I don’t sleep with any conditioner or oil in my head, I don’t know or care about my hair type, I only really protective style in the winter. I’ve noticed that many of my relaxed hair days habits have adapted fine to my natural hair; I always washed my hair weekly, rarely ever did any type of weaves, and rarely went to the shop. I feel like because so many are not use to or dont have the patience to deal with their own hair they just try to latch on to someone else’s regime and don’t put in the time& work to find what works best for them. To me whether you natural or relaxed it’s important to find your own hair groove; it’ll be rough for a while, but it’s worth it.
I have so much love for this blog post!! It’s like she just read my mind (excluding #4– my scalp needs a wash at least every other week). I too am guilty of everything on this list, but as my natural journey has progressed, I find that:
a) I could care less about hair typing. It seems that the majority of naturals are multitextured, and with 5-6 different curl patterns on my head, typing does nothing for me.
b) While I still have length goals, I am not going through the emotional process of straightening my hair every 2-3 months to see how long it is. I’ll pull a few strands straight to check my progress (and for splits), but if I’m blowing this mane out, it’s going to be for a style.
c) Using tools on the regular jacked up my tightly coiled hair on my first round of being natural. When I used combs, it took me 2 years to hit shoulder length (stretched). This time around, I’m finger detangling only, and my 3-5 in fro has grown past collarbone length (stretched) within a year’s time. Like, I might actually hit APL this coming year for the first time in my life 😀
Great post, Ijeoma!!
I celebrated my 2 year nappiversary this month and I still can not get with protective styling lol.
Tina have u ever tried the crotchet braiding. I just discovered on IG. Then i followed on youtube. This hairstyle is so cool and easy. My daughter installed it. But i chopped it up. I cant stand hair touching my neck. I had it in for a few days now. I havent taking any pictures yet. You should check it out
Finally there is someone who isnt obsessed with natural hair. I dont care for 3c, 4a double ds. I just want to maintain my natural hair. Thats all. Thanks for the post!!
LOL at double d’s hahahaha
If she is not “obsessed” why write this very detail article…
I know my hair type, being 7 months natural after 20 months transition I do check my length (growth) I use a wide tooth comb (hate finger detangling, I dont have a hair crush or idol and rarely watch you tube videos, and I wash when my hair needs it no regular schedule! I say do you!
“If she is not “obsessed” why write this very detail article…”
Huh? you don’t have to be obsessed with something to write and article about it. Or maybe we are now redefining the meaning of obsession.
If she isnt worried, obsess or care about this items listed why take the time to write about?!?!?!
Because she is a natural hair blogger. That is why she wrote the article for the readers on her blog. Some people are unhappy with their own hair and are obsessed with other peoples’ hair. What I take from the article is be happy with your hair {texture and length}, don’t compare it to anyone else’s and enjoy the journey.
I totally agree with Lex. She is a blogger
Strange that an article on how two heads are not the same is still giving advice. That being said, I really don’t personally agree with 1 & 5 at all. In regards to hair typing, as an early natural, I found it really helpful. Looking at videos of women with 3C or 4B hair weren’t very helpful to me. I found Natural Chica and Naptural85 who both had 4A hair like myself, and I followed their tips. This also leads to why I don’t agree with #5. An unhealthy obsession and coveting what others have is never a good idea, be it hair or body image or material possessions. But acknowledging that others have beautiful hair and setting attainable hair goals doesn’t seem like a negative. I had dreadlocks at first, but when I saw Esperanza Spaulding’s beautiful afro, I decided to take them out and see what my natural curls were like. Yes, I had a hair crush, but I think the author of this article is making a unfair and incorrect assessment (perhaps projecting) that we all want longer and looser curls. I’m sure some do, but my hair crushes are just women who are farther along on the path than I am on their hair journey. It gives me something to look forward to. Seeing Whitney/Naptural85 at 4 years in, I see where my hair could be in a few more years. I think this author thinks some hair types are better than others and is therefore rejecting the entire process of comparison. I see hair typing as a tool, just like bra sizing. Is a 36C better than a 34D? I don’t know, but you need to know in order to be comfortable and wear the correct size, right? Hair typing and hair crushing is the same way and can help you figure out, when you don’t know, what products and regimens might work for you.
Strange that an article on how two heads are not the same is still giving advice. That being said, I really don’t personally agree with 1 & 5 at all. In regards to hair typing, as an early natural, I found it really helpful. Looking at videos of women with 3C or 4B hair weren’t very helpful to me. I found Natural Chica and Naptural85 who both had 4A hair like myself, and I followed their tips. This also leads to why I don’t agree with #5. An unhealthy obsession and coveting what others have is never a good idea, be it hair or body image or material possessions. But acknowledging that others have beautiful hair and setting attainable hair goals doesn’t seem like a negative. I had dreadlocks at first, but when I saw Esperanza Spaulding’s beautiful afro, I decided to take them out and see what my natural curls were like. Yes, I had a hair crush, but I think the author of this article is making a unfair and incorrect assessment (perhaps projecting) that we all want longer and looser curls. I’m sure some do, but my hair crushes are just women who are farther along on the path than I am on their hair journey. It gives me something to look forward to. Seeing Whitney/Naptural85 at 4 years in, I see where my hair could be in a few more years. I think this author thinks some hair types are better than others and is therefore rejecting the entire process of comparison. I see hair typing as a tool, just like bra sizing. Is a 36C better than a 34D? I don’t know, but you need to know in order to be comfortable and wear the correct size, right? Hair typing and hair crushing is the same way and can help you figure out, when you don’t know, what products and regimens might work for you.
Thanks for reading and commenting! If you watch my hair typing video (linked in the post), you’ll see why I think hair type charts are extremely different from other measuring systems… bra sizes are based on a tangible, scientific measurement (inches), and the system is standardized. Also, there’s no hierarchy in the bra sizing charts themselves. Hair type charts are not grounded in data or fact, they’re opinion based/subjective, which also explains why they aren’t standardized. They also position straight hair over kinky hair, both in the numbering and in the visual representations of straight hair at the top or the left, and kinkier hair further down or on the right.
As for the hair crushing, I made a distinction between coveting someone’s hair – which tends to accompany a dislike for your own – and appreciating someone’s hair. I’m here for both Naptural85 and Natural Chica; I have great respect for their simple, straight-forward, and easy to understand hair regimens. Rather than projecting (I wouldn’t trade my hair for the world), I am instead being critical of observations that I’ve made, both of individuals and the natural hair community in general, that devalue kinky hair. For example, products are marketed to us to “enhance our curls” or provide “curl definition”, which isolates those who do not have curls, and make some people feel like they should be striving for curly hair rather than their kinky hair. Same thing with the Tracee Ellis Ross meme; some people have gone natural and when their hair is kinky rather than curly like Joan’s, they get a texturizer or go back to the relaxer.
That said, I’m not saying in this article that you shouldn’t hair type or hair crush, or do any of these things… by all means feel free. I just don’t think they are productive exercises for my hair and my hair journey anymore.
85-90% of women are supposedly wearing the wrong bra size. It’s not that scientific. And there is a hierarchy…A is the smallest and it gets larger as you go down the alphabet. But it has nothing to do with value.
http://www.thinandcurvy.com/2011/05/do-85-of-women-really-wear-wrong-bra.html
Similarly, there is the Kinsey Scale that measures human sexuality. 0 being totally heterosexual and 6 being totally homosexual. Does that mean that being totally heterosexual is the worst and totally homosexual is the best? Or vice versa? Of course not. It’s a spectrum. Like the light spectrum has red on the left and violet on the right. It’s not saying red is better than violet.
There is no value inherently attributed to bra sizes, sexuality, color, or hair typing. You’re putting them there. 1A is no better or worse than 4C based on the numerical identifiers. Is 1 better than 4 or is 4 better than 1? Is A better than C? The person saying one is better than the other is you.
Ijeoma I think you are projecting your own interpretation of a TOOL onto others. Bra sizes are not more scientific than hair typing. Heck even the use of bras is more of a social norm, and there truly is no scientific data for the usage of bras at all. Like bra sizing, hair typing is a tool that people use. If one person uses those tools to create stratification, that is that individual. That does not speak to the usefulness of the tool itself.
As for curl defining creams, they are ALSO a tool. I have 4c hair. Just because I see curl defining cream in a store, doesn’t mean I think that I should have a different curl pattern in my hair. Those creams are a tool for others who DO have curls that they wish to define. Is a natural with loose curls going to look at a heavy butter cream sold in a store and feel sad that she doesn’t have kinks? No. She’ll realize that it’s a tool for people who do have kinky hair.
This is all to say that you are attacking specific hair tools that people use and making assumptions as to what VALUE people ascribe to those tools.
Candice, I totally agree with you. There were a couple of things in this article i didnt necessarily agree with…but to each it’s own.
I agree with Candice. Hair typing is a tool. If you use that tool to maybe gain help from other naturals who have similar hair issues, how is that wrong? If you use that tool to diminish the value of your own hair or claim that one is objectively better than the other, well that is on you. However, I think Ijeoma should realize that some people use the same tools in different ways. Just like a person can have a “hair crush” who they admire and get courage from. Another can use a “hair crush” to further lower their own self-esteem. It’s a tool. It’s a matter of how you use it.
This spoke some truth into me. I can`t speak for other people, but I know that I can sometimes become a little obsessive when I compare my hair to the people I watch on YouTube!
I totally agree with you on #1,2, and especially #5.
A friend and I were discussing this last week. Now that we’ve natural for some time — 8 years for me — a lot of the things that we obsessed and worried about early on seem pointless. Our regimens have drastically simplified, our product stockpile is depleted. Plus, I have no problem getting a stylist to do my twists once every couple months in order to get out of the salon and into a nap in less than 60 minutes. Blasphemy, I know.
Until I cut 3-4 inches last month, my hair stretched past my shoulders and shrank like a bawse. I cut it because I realized my ends were unhealthy from a blowout I had done months before. I made a choice, am I concerned about hair length or am I concerned about hair health? Chop!
Enjoyed your blog post.
8 years natural, go you! And I agree, these things came with time for me too (now over 3 years); before I felt I had to play by the “rules”, and now I just do what works for me. Thanks for reading!
Another 8 years natural like me! Woohoo! I cna relate to everything in this article & your comment. My regime & product heap has drastically reduced. Gone are the days I used to deep condition over night & wake up with messy sheets. My denman & comb are gather a nice layer of dust. I learnt the hard way that my hair thrived when I left it alone. Everything’s super simplified for me, no need to spend over an hour washing & conditioning. & definitely no way I’m spending over $100 a year on products anymore! & I feel you on the big twists done by stylists- lifesaves those are!
Would love to see a no-frills natural like me (us) featured on this site one day….