by
The Natural Haven
Have you ever stumbled upon someone with similar hair texture and length as yours only to find that when you check back a couple of years later they seemingly have gained 3 times more length than you have managed retain? Many naturals will attribute this difference to an assumption that the other person may have more breakage resistant or perhaps thicker strands. I will put it out there, this assumption is actually quite often true but it is very rarely the single or main reason why one person can retain length while another struggles. Here are four other reasons.
1. She makes her own rules
There are many people who do not tow the line of convention for example former style icon Cipriana advocates dry detangling which many people dread. Meanwhile, Teri La Flesh of tightly curly encourages using a rinse out conditioner as a leave in styler, something that some manufacturers advise against. The point is that Cipriana’s method would lead Teri’s hair to break and equally Teri’s method may cause serious shrinkage and tangling for Cipriana’s hair. Religiously following the routine of your hair twin/ style icon/ favorite youtuber may simply just not work. Your best bet is to experiment with techniques until you find the right one for you. This applies to every step of hair care from detangling method and frequency, washing method and whether to protective style or not.
2. She leaves her hair alone
Many naturals with long hair will in general have a very simple routine that will involve very little daily styling. Length checks will also be done on an intermittent basis, perhaps every 6 months or once a year. The same will go for trims which may be done equally on an intermittent basis instead of hunting for split ends every other week. The basic principle that all these actions confer is that the more you leave your hair alone, the better it will thrive.
3. She understands and avoids breakage
The girls with long hair understand breakage and do everything to avoid it. I recall when Kim of Kimmaytube stated that she takes several hours to detangle her hair properly, some people thought this was excessive. However, prior to taking the step of really being patient with detangling, her hair was a medium length. In order to pass this mark, it was necessary to really nip all breakage in the bud. You need to understand what causes your hair to break, whether it is a case of being more patient, handling it when wet or dry, being more diligent about restoring moisture, avoiding heat, not overstretching but at the same time not allowing full shrinkage etc. You need to identify every cause of minor and major breakage and take steps to eliminate them.
4. She experiments with products
I cannot name two long haired naturals with identical product recommendations. This may lead you to perhaps question the importance of products in contributing to hair length retention since it appears anything might work. Therein lies the truth, ‘anything might indeed work’. If you take the time and effort to learn about ingredients and what they do, you will soon find yourself being able to discriminate between products that work for you and those that do not. You may be lucky enough to stumble upon your staple products with the first trial but this is rare. Experiment all through the growing phase of your hair, what you use in the beginning may not work when your hair is down your back.
38 Responses
i am 100% for low manipulation. it has helped me keep my 7inches so far. i wash, deep condition my hair, moisturize it( seal with olive oil and shea butter) then put it in 2 strand twist for a week or two and just repeat that all over again. i might stretch my hair every 3 weeks or so but its usually in twist. i dont like messing with my hair much. it likes to be moisturized and left alone. so far this is working. i have also already found my staple products and ive only been fully natural since december 2012. i have my fav shampoo, deep conditioner, my oil and my leave in. im a pretty happy natural 🙂
I gave up on following hair blogs for about 6 months last year, as I got so sick of so many conflicting voices telling me what to do with my hair (that and the fact that the UK is still miles behind the US on decent products). I have no idea what number/letter category my hair falls into, it’s fluffy, curly, straight, chin length with the the most malevolent shrinkage it can muster on humid days (I swear it’s vengeance for a litany of teenage hair mistakes). I don’t use heat, I detangle weekly using conditioner while under running water, I don’t dye my hair, I moisturize every night and use a light spritz of water everyday with a bit of foaming mousse, I use both shampoo and conditioner on my hair and give it a trim every six months, but it takes a ridiculous amount of time to grow. I’ve concluded no matter how much coaxing, weekly stretching or PMAing I give it, it’s as stubborn as I and will grow when it’s damn well good and ready (did I mention I have a banging diet of veg/fish/fruit/salad/pulses/beans). I’ve been natural for 6 years, with the mother of all hair dye mistake 4 years ago (I dyed my hair and my hair fell out, which left me with an uneven TWA, it was the big chop I DID NOT PLAN).
I have long come to the conclusion that all I can do is enjoy the hair that I have and not spend hours a week giving myself a headache trying to figure out why my hair isn’t as long as whatever Icon is featured this week. These days I just appreciate these women look good (probably have a willingness to send more time on their hair- good on them), and we all bring our own unique gorgeousness whether we are rocking a shaved head or waist length hair and not to stress about the length or thickness. Isn’t the patriarchy and western beauty standards giving us black women enough shiz to worry about without adding length retention to the mix?
peace x
I totally agree, I only started giving hair advice and product recommendations on my blog because I get a lot of women asking me about it.
I think it’s important to try out the different techniques you read about so that you can effectively choose the best technique. And you will know why certain methods are detrimental.
Also, you forgot to mention genetics, lifestyle and environment
themanecaptain.blogspot.ca
I think people think other people’s hair grows faster because they don’t see them everyday. I grew 4 inches of hair and didn’t even notice until I saw pictures of myself a couple of months ago. If I see someone every once and a while, or only via facebook pics or something, the growth is a lot more obvious.
Fine 4c Natural here with a confession: 4cs are told to always rely on long term protective styles, twist/braids that will last for up to 4 weeks. WELLL i think those longer term styles are the CULPRIT behind my lack of length retention. Too much tangling and knotting of my hair!! I need to leave my hair alone, but NOT to the point that it is neglected! I will never wear a protective style in my hair longer than 2 weeks ever again.
I am also going to experiment with protective styles, bigger twisted updos, etc that are meant to be left in for a week tops. I think my hair could actually handle more frequent (but still seldom) manipulation. Because I believe tangling and difficult handling ( as a result of a style left in too long) is the TRUE growth stunter..not gentle twisting and pinning that comes from these one week protective styles.
Hi monisola
Protective styling doesn’t equate neglect. Also, the style you choose can be detrimental. People with fine hair can actually benefit the most from protective styling. I think you weren’t being gentle with your styles and you didn’t take care of your hair while it was in a protective state. U actually wrote about “10 cases when protective styling isn’t protective” on my blog. Please check it out
themanecaptain.blogspot.ca
AMEN! I have had the same issue. I never leave my protective styles in past two weeks. My hair is too fine for that. It tangles so bad. I have started doing bigger twists and pinning them up or flat twisting my twist back into pigtails. I too am puzzled by the advice to leave ones hair alone for such a long period of time.
MMMmmm #2 and #3 ain’t nuttin but the TRUTH!
When I first BC’ed protective styling was my bff & my hair flourished! As soon as I stopped protective styling,it became harder for me to retain length.
Also, proper detangling is so important for length retention. When I wash my hair,knowing that I don’t have time to properly detangle,I always lose a senseless amount of hair. My natural hair requires patience,effort,time and care.
https://ammamama.wordpress.com/
Wow this article was pretty spot on! I also think women who grow long hair have adopted consistency and patience with their proven regimens. I know women who freak out and start switching things up, when what they are doing doesn’t seem to be working and they’ve only been doing it for a few months.
Very true! I have stopped finger detangling (I use a wide tooth comb gently in sections) and use a gentle shampoo once a fortnight instead of pure co-washing. I also use very little leave-in… just a little in water as a spritz. My hair has been soft yet strong and growing better than it has in years. Right now I have it in braids too, which I avoided because of what people said about it being too heavy for fine hair but the growth is awesome! Everyone is an individual.
TeresaI too read the CNN article today and tolatly agree with the comment above. Furthermore, you should consider the implication of it’s not pretty but it will be. Are you implying that your daughter’s hair in it’s natural nappy state was not pretty , but once you tamed it with various mixtgirl products, it was? If your message is that black hair in it’s natural state is beautiful irrespective of texture, as long as it’s healthy, then this post is very hypocritical. Moreover, for many black girls who are not mixt there is no option of applying Creme of Nature, etc. to bring out pretty ringlets, so I presume their hair is just not pretty to you
I agree our hair is a personal journey. When I nearly lost my hair to the hair dye, I got serious about really Learning how to take care of my hair. Kimmay, Teri and Audrey changed my understanding! When I learned about the LOC method, Ph balancing and aryuvedic hair care my life was changed. My hair has grown past the goal point and is still charging down my neck! I just wish more women (in general) would take the time to read and understand the science of their hair. This way they won’t waste money and time with products and false promises. This was a very good article!
This article speaks to the fact that unless you are identical twins your hair is like your fingerprint, truly unique to you. I don’t hate on the hair you tubers and bloggers but as part of our empowerment we have to treat their presentations like a fashion runway–concept is not to be your common practice. For example I get the message of moisture, but realize through my own product trial and error that water-based moisturizing is my hair’s mantra. For each of us the mix is unique and I wish we could celebrate that more!
Another excellent post Natural Haven. There definetly no one size fits all to natural hair care. Look how diverse the comments are so far. I think there should be a number 5 which I think affects 1-4 and that’s she is so over what everybody else thinks of her hair. I think confidence also plays a huge part in doing what is best for your hair and not forsaking realistic and simple hair care for a style that is “presentable ” to others. I firmly believe that loving your hair AS IS no matter what you got to work with is the one of the hidden keys to having great hair. If you hate what you got or are constantly worrying about how others are receiving it you will be constantly trying everybodys rules but your own cause you want what they got not what you actually have, your hands will constantly be in your hair cause someones bad comment will have you “fixing it ” or hiding in faux hair, this pretty much leads you to ignoring number 3 cause you gotta look cute right? Who has time to worry bout break points?
Truth. I think the worst obsession thus far is “curl defining”. I see so many naturals with beautiful hair that has no discernable curl pattern and they fight with their hair daily trying to define curls they don’t have. It’s pretty sad, because their hair looks fine the way it is.
I had my last relaxer 4 years ago. It wasn’t until this summer I finally had an aha moment and I’m sticking to it! Wash n go Puffs and only wng puffs only. All I do is condition, dry (with a towel, no I don’t care about frizz) and oil. To detangle I use JUST water, yes just water. Section the dry hair first (esp. if you have different hair types) and use the shower head and fingers only. AlicaJames showed this method on her channel recently. I lose just 30-50 shed strands, before that detangling with oil/coditioner/ whatever + styling was like 300. And it only takes 25-30 mins vs. the HOURS LONG detangling sessions.
I am soooo not about the protective styling, retwisting, flat ironing or hiding from water to preserve style life. I love to wash my hair and all these rules made me feel like I never could. I have 4abcde(yes that many) type hair, if you have trouble finding a style, try it.
This was helpful and informative.
Article came just in time…I was getting so frustrated…I’ve been natural for 3 years and my hair is still neck length. I’ve had setbacks but its hard when you put so much energy and see minimal results
Valerie, I hope you can figure out what is causing your hair to break. I am on a mission to make necklength and shorter an intentional haircut not a length that people get stuck on. Please shout out any problems and perhaps a blow by blow on how you wash and style your hair. You can and will pass necklength!
Thanks for the olive branch Jc!
I’ve made an effort to really take my hair journey seriously over the based year. I wash my hair in sections. Use protein treatments when I see sheeding. Deep condition at least every two weeks. I’ve even implemented protective styling (i.e. a weave for about 7 weeks, period of extensions for 4 to 5 weeks each) and I still havent seen a significant difference.
I’ve used castor awhile all sorts of ways and I think my edges look the same. I’ve dusted, trimmed, and cut my hair all to reach the same original length.
I’m grateful for all the knowledge I’v gained but it feels discouraging to know so much, have people ask you for help, and still have little to show for it on your own head.
past year*
Can I ask, when do you see the most breakage? Is it during detangling, washing or styling post wash?
Also do you wash and style your own hair?
Valerie,
Be encouraged. Other factors could be in play–diet, hydration, medications, and let’s face it, our hair is fragile and you may need a different protective regimen. Don’t give up, the weaves and extensions may be too stressful for your hair. They don’t work for everyone. Maintaining a healthy scalp and healthy hair are both challenging–remember stress can also impact our hair negatively so don’t stress out!
Have you ever considered the weaves may be causing the breakage? Weave is not a protective style for many people such as myself. It causes a lot of traction and tension to the scalp. It’s also very hard to keep your hair moisturized and clean in weaves.
Your scalp needs time to breath and rest. Maybe you should consider protective styling in mini/mid two strand twist on your natural hair. I have been natural for three years as of nov 23rd. My hair is APL.
That is with a lack of growth for 9.5 months. My hair doesn’t grow when I’m pregnant.
This is absolutely very informative, and true. I hope every body reads this post and take the lessons serious ,if they want to get some where with their hair journey.
Every blogger recommends protective styling, but it was the WORSE thing for my hair! I got braids for the first (and Last) time in my life, and it made my hair extremely dry and frizzy. My hair does not like all that manipulation and friction. Also, everyone recommends shea butter, which my hair totally hates. My hair, which I can not say what number/letter combination it is (curly as heck with gel, but not without it accept for the top which is,my curls are bigger than a straw, which would be 3c according to articles, but my hair is NOT silky like that or other 3c’s on youtube, very thick,etc..) because it doesn’t look like anyone else’s hair, is very unique. So I have learned to take the bloggers and other peoples advice as just opinions. Besides, there are no true natural hair experts because no two heads are the same unless someone is a blood twin, not a natural hair twin.
YOU ARE RIGHT, DEAR
that’s your fault for not using commom sense.
Omg I so agree on everything you said. My hair in the front is like that too! The first 2 inches (my bangs ) are frizzy, wavy, blowout ish 4 type hair and the row right after it is exactly like you described. A bit bigger than a straw but DEF not silky feeling either, its like my 4a hair either. Our hair is so diverse
I love this topic and have always enojeyd your blogs. I have been planning to blog about my daughters hair one of these days too. I had dreams of doing my daughters hair ponies, piggies, braids, etc. But she will have none of it. It is curly so she often has crazy hair. I have finally found the perfect shampoo/condition combo for her and the perfect comb after lots of trial and error and discussions with my mommy friends with daughters and curly hair. She still won’t sit still for me to do her hair but she will let her daycare teachers do it and she comes home looking adorable. Maybe someday we can play salon and do the braids and pigtails but not today.
Number 1 and Number 2 are my godsends.
Number 1: It seemed like every natural finger detangled and I hopped on that one thinking “this must be what it takes to get long hair.” After finger detangling for 1.5 years, I decided to do a blowout and couldn’t believe the amount of shed hairs, breakage, and lint that had accumulated in my hair. I said no more and bought a denman. I actually have LESS breakage now and haven’t seen a bit of lint once. Finger detangling does not work for everyone.
Number 2: I wear wash n gos and blowouts and that is all. Both are very low maintenance for me. I realized I couldn’t do all the twist outs and braid outs because I would have to re-braid or twist each night and it was just too much for my hair. Now when I do a wash n go, at night I just dampen my hair, rub aloe vera gel through it and put it in a pineapple. And if it’s a blowout, I just apply coconut oil, do one two strand twist and make a low bun. Even though my hair is out, this method has greatly decreased my breakage.
Pura d’or argan oil is better and is one of the best now. Pura d’or has a more fans using it. Check out their feobaock. Just search Pura d’or argan oil. Eden Allure is decent but don’t buy it or store long term because it is in plastic bottle!
Tell the truth and shame the devil…yet a lot of folks reading this are still going to blame their lack of length on the “wrong” products, the “wrong” genetic mixture, the “wrong” phase of the moon, etc.
I don’t straighten my hair at all but if I did, I’m guessing most of it would fall somewhere between jaw-length and APL. That’s the longest my hair has ever been in my LIFE…and even though it’s been 3 years since I started growing my hair out from a TWA most of my progress has happened in the last 9 months because of ALL the points acknowledged in this article. To elaborate:
1) There is no shortcut to this process, sorry. The things you see online should be used as GUIDELINES, not hard-and-fast rules.
2) After years of doing every natural hairstyle known to woman I’m now down to two basic styles, both of which require very little daily manipulation. I’ve also only used a tool twice this year, both of which resulted in my basically giving myself a trim. 🙁
3) See (2) re tools and manipulation. It took me YEARS to figure this out. My hair does best when it’s left alone as much as possible and the longer it gets the more that’s true.
4) Because we’re still not at the point where natural hair care can be quickly customized by a knowledgeable stylist for each and every head, this too is a process for which there’s no real shortcut. The good news is that once you find what works for you, your quest is over…until your hair gets longer and/or you change it via color or some other process and/or you see something interesting on the shelf.
Kimmaytube’s no nonesense, no old wives tales approach to hair care and length retention completely transformed what I thought about hair. Natural Haven Bloom also uses scientific study in their articles. Once I got pass those blogs/bloggers telling us that “penetrating” oils and butters somehow can provide moisture (even with absent water content lol) and other bs information provided by women just circulating bad information, I truly learned the importance of biology. Understanding human hair and skin helped me shape my regimen. Learning my hair’s snapping point aided me in my choice of detangling tools. Understanding that shampoo was NOT my enemy (as I had been told by dull haired co wash queens) helped me clear up my dermatitis. My hair now grows at its full potential at 3/4 an inch a month, and I retain damn near all of it, without the aid of wigs/weaves. No old wives tales and natural hair conjecture. Just a scientific approach to my body.
Do your thing honey, Understanding how your own hair and body react to certain behavior and product is the best. Is good you don’t always fall for the hype………I know a lot of haters will come after you about this comment.
JUST CHILL AND HAVE FUN WITH YOUR HAIR
Yaaas! This gave me all kinds of life! I was feeling the same way when I began following, certain vloggers who had my hair type too. But my hair continued to break. What’s funny is that my hair was long under my own regimen before I cut it and adopted what a pretty face was telling me on the screen.
I am NOW finally getting it together with understanding what works for my hair – in a natural product sense. For example, I know almost err’body loves coconut oil as a sealer – but it just didn’t work for me. My hair ended up feeling dry after a few hours, and yes even when in a protective style. I found out that either pure apricot oil OR a mix of jojoba & argan oil are absolutely superb sealers for my hair! ^_^
When I found KimmayTube and learned the importance of pH-levels, every damn DIY recipe that a lot of these self-appointed YouTube ‘gurus’ created went out of the window for me. They were too acidic (despite containing natural ingredients), which were the root cause as to why my hair was thinning. I side-eye every damn body now. …and just smh at those who like to lead a parade but end up chopping off their hair after a year talmbout all the damage they had. (I call them “Scene Queens” because they just wanna be seen and adored – and they sure aren’t dropping any real science.)
Bah, we live and we learn. Sometimes, you can’t help look at a beautiful black woman with gorgeous locks and long for what they have! But we are all beautiful in our own right, and to truly take care of the self, we must listen and recognize that each of us are unique in mind, spirit, AND body. What works for everyone else, definitely may not work for us.
I love this and couldn’t agree more. I feel that understanding the science of hair has really has helped me capture my potential in recognizing when balance is off kilter…. No two strands are the same, but science is certainly our medium.
I failed at my first try going natural, but in doing research this second try has been more of a success. I’ve been natural for a year and one month. I travel globally for a living, so staying committed to certain product lines is impossible based purely on their availability in certain areas. I tend to stick with the most simple and natural basics using science as my guide to what’s needed and it seems to be working 🙂
Heather, it is great to here that you managed to clear your dermatitis! I think many people with scalp problems often avoid shampoo when it could be the key to solving the problem!