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Beyond Cute Babies: Biracial Men and Women Speak About Their Challenges And It’s Eye-Opening

Avatar • Oct 27, 2015

Franchesca Ramsey just initiated an important conversation on the fetishizing of mixed kids. In a recent Youtube video, the actress and TV personality, who is married interracially, expressed trouble at how people obsess over the appearance of her future children. She pointed out how fetishizing bi-racial children often goes hand in hand with rejecting blackness and, consequently rejecting bi-racial people who look phenotypically black. Perhaps most enlightening was her Snapchat snippets from bi-racial men and women who she invited to finish the sentence, “I am a bi-racial person who…” The responses are eye opening;

I’m a biracial person who had to grow up in sort of a tug-of-war and all my life had to defend my identity in a world that’s so obsessed with binary.”

I am a biracial person who, throughout my entire life has been asked, ‘What are you?’ In a really, like, condescending way, and it’s really infuriating.”

I’m a biracial person who doesn’t like being told they’re either/or.”

I’m a biracial person who often wishes that I didn’t have two cultures to choose from, I only had one.”

I am a biracial person who has yet to find any community that completely accepts me.”

I’m a biracial person who is not exotic.”

I am a mixed-race Japanese-American who’s constantly told I’m not “really Asian”. It’s just this weird obsession with purity with people literally using the word “pure” and “real” and it’s like, ‘Okay what does that leave me?’ ”

I am a biracial person who is tired of being told that I have to choose which race I have to identify as, and being told that when I identify as being Black and White, that I can only identify as Black.”

I’m a biracial person who has been told that I’m not really Hispanic, because I don’t look like it.”

I’m a biracial person who is Latina and black and it’s kind of hard to identify with either or both of those because I’m not black enough or Latina enough.”

I’m a biracial person who took 26 of her 29 years of life to learn to love both sides of who she is.”

Although the statements are short, they give honest insight into the biracial experience. And this is NOT to say that the biracial experience is fundamentally tragic. It isn’t. However, as interracial partnering increases in America, biracial identity becomes a larger part of the cultural conversation, and that conversation should be meaningful and not based on fetishizing.

Watch the full video below.

Ladies, what are your thoughts? Biracial and multiracial ladies, can you speak to your experiences?

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Mathilde
Mathilde
5 years ago

As a biracial woman, I really identified with this. Growing up, I was used to being petted over and made the center of attention for how “pretty” I was, and for a long time I didn’t understand exactly why this was problematic, even though it didn’t feel quite right. Now that I’m older and trying to understand my blackness more, it actually feels rather lonely sometimes, like I’m always coming at it from the perspective of an outsider, someone who is trying to learn the language of blackness. I don’t really identify as white, because I whiteness isn’t a culture.… Read more »

Kevin Bacon
Kevin Bacon
5 years ago

I’m not biracial but I wish people would stop blowing off their struggles. We all have struggles.

Chevanne
5 years ago

The most striking part of being the mother of a biracial child is the perception that blackness doesn’t contribute beauty or that she has “the best of both worlds.” What, the culture without the burden of dark skin? The light skin to pass but not the legacy as an oppressor? People are very strange and fetishize biracial children, even suggesting I should have more because they’re so cute. Even deeper still is that more biracial children somehow dilutes racism because those children are not really black. Sick.

eljjai
eljjai
5 years ago

Lets be honest here, who really fetishizes mixed kids and mixed women? We all know who.

LiftYourEyes
LiftYourEyes
5 years ago
Reply to  eljjai

Almost every non-white race/community likes to fetishize and exhalt mixed race individuals when it comes to beauty. It’s both men and women doing it. At the same time, people make them feel like they don’t really fit in.

From what I’ve observed, in predominantly non-black countries that aren’t predominantly white like india, japan, etc it’s preferably when the person is mixed with white while we are mostly ok with any mix.

Darla Jones
Darla Jones
5 years ago
Reply to  eljjai

I damn sure don’t. My mother told me that you can be light and ugly, dark and ugly, and damn sure mixed and ugly! There are cute people and not so attractive people in every race. People need to stop fetishizing mixed people, because those actions are conducive to how people fawn over certain breeds of dogs. SMH

CocoaGoddess
CocoaGoddess
4 years ago
Reply to  Darla Jones

Your mama is on point boo. You can be ugly no matter what race you are

Lovelyevenstar
Lovelyevenstar
5 years ago

Another biracial woman here. Also identified and have felt nearly all of these feeings at some point or another. Growing up I heard the same thing about being beautiful, looking exotic etc. Not that Im ungrateful for how I look but it didnt spare me the pain of feeling like an outcast to both whites and blacks. I didn’t act black enough (the way I talk, my taste in music, etc) and whites acted like I was a weird novelty- cool enough to hang out with, be best friends with but not date (much less marry) someone in their family.… Read more »

beautyindecay
beautyindecay
5 years ago

I have always despised the rhetoric that a children of interracial parents will automatically be cute. Beauty is beauty no matter the hue or mix. I’ve seen ugly people of single race ‚and ugly multiracial people (Tiger Woods). I WISH that whole mixed always equals beautiful would go away.

Cassa Blanca
Cassa Blanca
5 years ago

Yawn. The only people who fetishise mixedness is blk people. Other than that ain’t no body checking for who is mixed with their own eg, Indian, white, Japanese etc people aren’t obsessing over who is mixed with “black” within their cultures. Infact more time it’s a dirty word. It’s a shame we are not realising it’s the BLACKNESS that is making them desirable as like I said, ain’t no one checking/obsessing for “mixedness” but black folk…

maji
maji
5 years ago
Reply to  Cassa Blanca

Except Japan, them folks seem crazy about white mixed Japanese peeps lol. But I agree with this statement and add a spare me!

India
India
5 years ago
Reply to  Cassa Blanca

That is not true. I know many white women who fetishize half white and Asian babies. There are also people in other races too long of a list to go through who aspire to have half white children. This is not something only black people do, just saying.

E.C. from D.C.
E.C. from D.C.
5 years ago
Reply to  Cassa Blanca

I’ve had a half-Irish/half East Indian friend say that a lot in India actually are (and lighter skin in general).

fanceeist
fanceeist
5 years ago
Reply to  Cassa Blanca

That is not true at all. I am mixed and I have witnessed the obsession from many sides, not just black people.

Alwina Oyewoleturner
Alwina Oyewoleturner
5 years ago

I have a niece and nephew who are mixed black and white. From what I hear, some of their father’s family is not cool with them being mixed. Based on my experience with my niece and nephew, they seem like cool, young people, in fact my niece will just come up and hug you. That’s her personality. But I told her the other day, because she is black she needs to be on point because people will judge her based on her actions. I look forward to her growing up in this world and seeing what her experiences are like,… Read more »

kaydenpat
kaydenpat
5 years ago

Can black biracial children really “choose” to be white though? Whites aren’t so accepting of mixed people into their race like blacks are. Barack Obama, our President, certainly couldn’t get away with calling himself white.

mesmerize
mesmerize
5 years ago

Growing up as a “mixed girl” of a white father and black mother in an overly white community, it has always irritated me, how people often compliment me for my skin color, but at the same time emphasize how they like that I have “white” facial features. Since “African” facial features look so strange and so different, hence not beautiful. It’s saddening how an intended compliment reveals such ugly and narrow-minded beauty standards in the minds of so many people. What about embracing diversity and trying to see beauty in people and things that are new, unusual and maybe even… Read more »

Andrea Peel
Andrea Peel
4 years ago

Things seem to be so much more relaxed in the UK. My children are both biracial and identify as such. Choosing to embrace their mixed identity as a whole identity rather than 2 halves. The vast majority of their friends (regardless of race) accept and embrace this way of thinking.

TWA4now
TWA4now
4 years ago

I didn’t know they went through so much…having to “pick” a color. Rarely is anyone pure. Most of us are mixed with SOMETHING if they dig enough into.
that family tree.

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