Skip to main content

Do Satin Bonnets Kill the Mood? BGLH Writers Ask Their Husbands and Boyfriends

Avatar • Mar 5, 2015

satin-bonnet MEME

Hot on the tail of Bonnet-gate 2015 with Real Housewives of Atlanta couple Todd and Kandi, we decided it would be nice to have a real world opinion of bonnets in the bedroom. Does the use of a satin bonnet really stop the show? Or can you throw on Ginuwine- “So Anxious” and proceed like nobody’s business. We had our writers survey their significant others to get the low-down on how they really feel about bonnets in the bedroom! And they did not hold back! Two questions were asked:

1. If I was wearing a bonnet at night, would that stop you from wanting to have sex?
2. Does the presence of the bonnet decrease your sexual appetite at all?

Peep the responses below!

Leila

432338_608636407478_34647676_n

Leila’s husband:

1. No (in a confused voice)
2. No (in a confused voice with a confused expression). Who answered yes to these questions??

Portia

IMG_0847 (1)

Portia’s husband:

1. As a man madly in love with his wife, a bonnet is too insignificant to destroy my sex life. However I must admit, during my first year of marriage, I (and every man for that matter) imagined sex to be like the Hollywood motion pictures always portrayed it to be: perfect hair, perfect makeup, perfect timing…every time! But as I matured in my marriage, I learned quickly that those expectations were too unrealistic and too demanding for a sustainable, healthy marriage.
2. Occasionally, when she wears the bonnet it can be a “party pooper”. Especially when my wife and I return from a romantic evening where she looked so gorgeous that she captured the attention of everyone, only to return home to hide all the “glory” that I had been fantasizing about all evening. Men are visual creatures and a bonnet doesn’t always turn us on. But a bonnet wouldn’t cause me to not want to make love to my wife. That’s silly.

JC
[My husband refers to any hair covering — bonnets, scarves etc as hair socks. I find this very amusing.]

Jc’s husband:
1. You wear a hair sock every night and no it is not a deterrent to me or you.
2. No, I do not really think about the hair sock. It is normal for us to take all articles of clothing off, and the hair sock is one of them. Afterwards, it is my job to find where it landed so you can tie it back on and we can sleep.

Christina

PicsArt_1367533625304

Christina’s boyfriend:
1. Nope, it wouldn’t stop me at all. You’re beautiful either way.
2. Seriously, why would it? Touching, feeling, and having contact is way more arousing than hair — whether it’s covered up or not. At the end of the day, sex is for my penis. I’m just saying.

Chinwe

Screen Shot 2015-03-04 at 10.21.20 PM

Chinwe’s boyfriend:
1. “Nope.”
2. “Not a bit, if anything it indicates that she is feeling comfy and open to some snuggling. She’s always beautiful, with or without her hair out but it seems like more play is had when becoming a mess isn’t a concern.”

Elle

kentonelle

Elle’s boyfriend:
1. No.
2. Yes. Reminds me of my grandmother a little bit.

Wrapping it Up (pun not intended)

Wearing a satin bonnet to bed can be a fairly crucial part of one’s personal natural hair regimen. However, if you ever want to go “commando”, for any reason, here are 3 ways to retain moisture at night without a hair bonnet.

 

Does your significant other express distaste for your bonnet? Do you take it off or let them deal with it? Share your experiences below!

Subscribe
Notify of
guest
44 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Tonia
Tonia
5 years ago

JC’s husband’s answer to question 2 was EVERYTHANG!

pw
pw
5 years ago
Reply to  Tonia

My boyfriend has two jobs during that time…the obvious AND keep my head on the satin pillowcase. Relationships are so fun!!! 🙂

Miss Thang
Miss Thang
5 years ago
Reply to  Tonia

Omg his answer made me laugh SO MUCH. Lol! Lol!

Emprezz Abena
5 years ago

My hubby could care less about what I have on my head whether scarf or panty hose.

suchanewbie
suchanewbie
5 years ago

I don’t wear a bonnet, it gives me a headache and makes my head hot. I got one for the first time a few months ago after watching YouTube vids and threw it out after 2 nights. I’ve never seen anyone I know wear one. I use satin pillowcases. But I could put a cat on my head and sex will still be happening.

ladyAK
ladyAK
5 years ago
Reply to  suchanewbie

Me tooooooo.it gives me a headache.

Mateasley88
Mateasley88
5 years ago
Reply to  suchanewbie

Lol@‘i could out a cat on my head and sex would still be happening’!

Tabatha
Tabatha
5 years ago

I can understand not rocking your head dress with a new bf, but if your man can still rock you with horrible morning breath then a scarf or a bonnet is not going to matter. I sleep on my satin pillow case and I wear a scarf or bonnet (depending on my hair style). I have dated all sorts of men and not one of them said no to the cookie because of what was on my head. If your man has an issue with it, then you might want to reconsider your man because we are not going to… Read more »

NancyM
NancyM
5 years ago
Reply to  Tabatha

Tell that!!!

Kary
Kary
5 years ago

Well they all said it does not matter but let’s keep in mind that they are biased. 1- They probably don’t want to upset their ladies. 2‑Especially as their answer is going public. I think it’s a serious question which should not be ruled out as “when you truly love, a bonnet does not matter”. A woman should look good for her man especially when she goes to bed where the magic happens. The same way a man should pay attention to himself as well. You don’t have to look stunning but I do believe that the hair industry should… Read more »

rainbow
rainbow
5 years ago
Reply to  Kary

exactly

Kita Williams
Kita Williams
5 years ago
Reply to  Kary

That’s what satin pillows are for *shrugs* Todd is wrong. The thirstiest man will stick his penis in the most unattractive (in his eyes) woman out of pure desperation. A bonnet would not deter him if he already thinks his woman is sexy. The problem here is that (IMO) I don’t think Todd thinks Kandi is sexy. If he did he would walk up to her snatch that bonnet off, get busy then help her find it before she goes to sleep. And she would be slightly bugged but they can joke the next day about how it’s his fault… Read more »

Likewaterforchoc
Likewaterforchoc
5 years ago
Reply to  Kita Williams

10000 upvotes! He acts like he’s doing Kandi a favor by being married to her.

LaNeshe @Nesheaholic.com

OT, but I really loved seeing everyone with their boos!

cryssi
cryssi
5 years ago

This was hilarious, I love the “hair sock” and “reminds me of my grandma”.…but none of my exes ever had a problem with it. Yeah they loved my hair, but my hair had been in all stages of crazy and my man doesn’t care when it comes down to the nitty gritty.

AdinaKay
AdinaKay
5 years ago

Rofl @ ‘hair sock’!
I’m gonna have to start using that one.

pdgmama
pdgmama
5 years ago

Ummm the look on my husband’s face when I asked.. #blankstare # confusion ” baby why you always asking me crazy questions?” His response: ” I don’t care what’s on your head as long as it’s not long enough to cover up anything from the neck or waist down” Period. #putsheadphonesbackon. Todd has some other stuff going on

Mateasley88
Mateasley88
5 years ago

LMAO @ hair sock… that’s hilarious!!! Omg… that’s a new one for sure! Anyhow, I’m not sure what kind of sex you guys are having, some men must be more gentle than others because more often than not, my silk scarf (don’t wear bonnets) is usually on the floor by the middle of round 1! Lol, I’ve simply decided to keep the scarf off, make love to the hubby like there’s no tomorrow, THEN find the scarf for bedtime or fall asleep on the satin/ sateen pillow…

Kita Williams
Kita Williams
5 years ago
Reply to  Mateasley88

Hence the smart man up top who said “it’s my job to find where it landed so you can tie your hair up before you go to sleep.” HELLO lol if you’re in the mood and you say “wait let me tie my hair down” man or woman that’s a turn off. If your hair is already tied down and things heat up who cares. The head wrap/bonnet/durag/stocking cap is coming off anyway

Bonnet hater
Bonnet hater
5 years ago

This is very interesting because in my relationship my boyfriend is the one who wears the head scarf, or bonnet, even when we are laying down in the middle of the day. I understand he had dreads abs head to protect them but at least he canwait until bedtime, but no he doesn’t want to get lint in his hair. I’m natural and I also wear weaves but I don’t wear bonnets unless I’m going to bed. Please help me leave the bonnet out of the bedroom! !!!!

Philly Jawn
Philly Jawn
5 years ago

I remeber my hubby saying to me leave your bonet off I like the way you lookright now and I always remembered that but when I asked him he said no he doesnt care so I think it matters sometimes but i know my hbuby hates when i wear a stocking cap like wig cap he hatessssss that says its dude ish

Philly Jawn
Philly Jawn
5 years ago

i think its just the bonnet its very un attractive scarfs are more approachable if that makes sense my hubby doesnt mind but i do remember him commenting on leaving my bonnet off because he liked the way i looked at i think if u r in the moment and u go to wrap ur hair up before u start it throws men off i know he hates stocking caps that why i chilled on wigs and do sew ins because its like im pretty but a the end of the day then i take my wig off and he… Read more »

vanessa nelson
vanessa nelson
5 years ago

I asked my boyfriend if he minds that I have my bonnet on during sexy time and he said he doesn’t mind but honestly I wear wigs. So I usually keep my wig and makeup on from the day and then get to business and then after that mask comes off (corn rows and hyperpigmented skin) and we cuddle into sleep.

FijiFreckles
FijiFreckles
5 years ago

Let’s be honest, there’s nothing sexy bout a bonnet. We couldn’t make “fetch” happen, “bonnet” isn’t happening either lol

Lila
Lila
5 years ago
Reply to  FijiFreckles

I use a satin pillowcase

Likewaterforchoc
Likewaterforchoc
5 years ago

I heard this interview. Okay, I’m just gonna say it…In my opinion there’s NOTHING about Todd that makes a man a man.

Jen
Jen
5 years ago

My bf sometimes snatches my bonnet off right before we get intimate(not in a rough way, he’s not crazy). I know he prefers me to have it off but doesnt mind if I do. He recently started wearing a bonnet to bed to protect his “twa” and I hate it on when we get busy. It makes me laugh and Id rather the moment be sexy

chapppe
chapppe
5 years ago
Reply to  Jen

This is too funny!

Phoxxie
Phoxxie
5 years ago
Reply to  Jen

Dead, dead and mo dead! lmaoooo

Shauntaemd
Shauntaemd
5 years ago
Reply to  Phoxxie

Lmao that is too funny!!

Elle
Elle
5 years ago

Bonnets are so ugly to me; I don’t care if hubby “accepts” them or not, I think I have a problem with accepting how I look with them on my hair. Satin pillow cases all day! But let’s be honest…I am too lazy to put a scarf or bonnet on my head at night, and I really don’t mind the wild look in the morning. Water and gel/mousse will fix that anyway. If I’m really too busy to do my hair, I just do a cute protective style and just rock that for about a month without touching or fussing… Read more »

POPPIN'BIG'BOTTLES
POPPIN'BIG'BOTTLES
5 years ago
Reply to  Elle

I agree, lol. I have a small face so bonnets make me look weird. However since I don’t live with my partner, you know I have this ish wrapped! The only thing is that because my hair is transitioning I HAVE to wear a bonnet or the hair will snap.

Barbara
Barbara
5 years ago

I wear a bonnet all the time.…..never had a complaint. Never even thought to ask if it bothered him.….….……I guess it doesn’t. As far as Todd, if they aren’t having sex, but once a week.….…..because of a ‘bonnet’, he’s got other issues or another sex partner.

A Vocal Guest
A Vocal Guest
5 years ago

Personally I think Todd married Kandi for the money and not her! I knew this would show up later in their marriage!

cwood
cwood
5 years ago

I asked my husband and he says it doesn’t matter to him. All things considered I think he likes it better when it is off. When I don’t wear it he runs his fingers through my hair passionately. So basically I don’t think it would stop things from happening but I do think men appreciate seeing you like they like they saw you earlier in the day. I can agree even as a woman that scarves are not cute or sexy. We wear them out of necessity, so look out for your man every now and then and let him… Read more »

Chontaine Abraham
Chontaine Abraham
5 years ago

I wear a satin scarf to bed and it doesn’t bother my husband at all. If it bothered Todd that much he should have been a REAL man and approached her about it I understand its hard for men to express their true feelings out of fear of hurting his woman feelings. BUT, if its that annoying y’all are rich people just get silk pillowcases.

Phoxxie
Phoxxie
5 years ago

Why are women wearing bonnets during sex anyway? I mean if you’re doing it right, you’re going to get sweaty. I don’t want a sweaty bonnet around my hairline. Just pull out the satin pillowcases when you want to get down. I don’t think these women really want to have sex, not even caring to take the bonnet off.

I wanna feel sexy while I’m doing it. Wearing my bonnet during sex is not the business.

Tamala
Tamala
5 years ago
Reply to  Phoxxie

girl bye

Phoxxie
Phoxxie
5 years ago
Reply to  Tamala

LOL so is that your way of defending looking like grandma during sex? GIRL BYE!

sadqueer
sadqueer
5 years ago

sad that no queer people were asked. do black queers not wrap their hair?

thedelray
thedelray
3 years ago
Reply to  sadqueer

they asked people in the office. maybe they don’t have any queer writers. sometimes it’s just that simple.

Mel
Mel
5 years ago

https://www.etsy.com/shop/SharonDotLou
As a black girl with long, thick hair myself., I always had a hard time finding a comfortable bonnet that was big enough and made out of real satin. My mom, being a seamstress, started making them for me and decided to share her talents with the world as a reasonable price. Custom made REAL SATIN HAIR BONNETS AND PILLOW CASES! Please support my mommy! H

good2bfree
good2bfree
5 years ago

Loved J.C.‘s reply:
It is normal for us to take all articles of clothing off, and the hair sock is one of them. Afterwards, it is my job to find where it landed so you can tie it back on and we can sleep.
Classic!

Jaz
Jaz
5 years ago

Weird but my head gets hot. I typically snatch my own bonnet off right before if it’s on or don’t wear one at all if I know sex is coming.

44
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x

Shopping Cart