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True Life: I Date a Natural Hair Blogger

Avatar • May 3, 2013

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Even with all the faults, the natural hair community is consistently one of the places where Black women are empowered and encouraged to embrace their natural hair, beauty, and wellness. Blogs, forums, and social networks are constant streams of support and guidance for veterans, newbies, big choppers, and transitioners alike. As women, we do a phenomenal job of maintaining positivity among ourselves (which is a feat in and of itself…c’mon ya’ll KNOW what I’m talking about). But what about our men? One of the biggest concerns most women express about going natural is how their significant other, or men in general will react to their newfound kinks, coils, and curls.

To tackle the issue of how Black men really feel about Black women going natural, I went straight to the source: my boyfriend of nearly 3 years. At this point in the game, he’s seen it all — from crazy looking straws in my hair, to marathon product junkie sessions in Target and Sally’s. Keep reading for his perspective on transitioning and natural hair. Heads up: it’s pretty positive 🙂

Christina: Thanks for agreeing to do this. I know you’re not a man of many words, but try to be as thorough as possible — I can’t publish an article with one word answers (laughing). Let’s get right to it. As a man, how do you define natural hair?

Samuel: Yeah, I know I had to…or I’d never hear the end of it from you. To me, natural hair is simply the stuff that comes out of your head, as-is.

Christina: What’s your opinion of the natural hair movement going on right now?

Samuel: Well, I don’t actually think it’s a movement. Natural hair has been around, it’s just growing in popularity now. But it is nice to see women embracing the way God made them. It’s a great thing, to take away the fake and unnatural…when women can showcase their beauty the way God meant for them to be. I love seeing women that take pride in themselves just the way they are… and not needing to excessively manipulate themselves to feel beautiful.

Christina: Is it a fad, or is it here to stay?

Samuel: Honestly, it depends on the woman. If you’re comfortable and confident in yourself and what God gave you, then it’s here to stay for you. If you’re lacking self-esteem and don’t feel good about yourself with natural hair, then you probably won’t keep it up. But I do see stores like Target expanding their natural hair care section. So I guess taking cues from that, the market for natural hair is here to stay.

Christina: How does it feel to date someone who is really involved and invested in natural hair?

Samuel: It’s a pain in the ass sometimes. You talk A LOT about natural hair…but at the same time, I’ve learned a lot from you too. Hell, I’ve even talked to my coworkers about their women taking care of their natural hair. But I do love the confidence that comes with you embracing your natural hair. I also love being able to touch your hair, and play around with you without having to worry about it getting messed up or falling out.

Christina: Hehe, I do talk a lot about natural hair. I’m kinda OCD with it. What are your thoughts when you see a woman that has “big chopped” all of her hair off?

Samuel: I personally prefer longer hair, but when I see a woman who has chopped, I see confidence. And that’s a huge factor in how much you appeal to a man. How confident you are.

Christina: What are your thoughts when you see a woman who has decided to transition (slowly) to natural hair?

Samuel: Was that a serious question? It doesn’t make any difference to me. I don’t care, I won’t notice anyway. As far as I’m concerned, as long as you’re taking care of it, it doesn’t matter.

Christina: How do you feel about the whole satin scarf and bonnet thing? Is it unappealing?

Samuel: I know why you have them, it’s not a big deal. Just so long as you’re wearing them at home or while working out or something — not out in public.

Christina: So I can’t wear my bonnet to the mall?

Samuel: You can wear it to the mall if you want, you won’t be walking with me.

Christina: Ok, ok. Have you adopted any of my hair practices or products?

Samuel: Of course I have. You pick out all my hair stuff.

Christina: What advice do you have for men that are dating natural or transitioning women?

Samuel: Accept that your woman is trying to take care of her hair. Accept it, approve it. Support her. Make sure she knows you think she’s beautiful. Make sure you TELL her she’s beautiful. Be prepared for her to spend a lot of money on hair products, and a lot of time in Target. Be prepared not to see the super straight stuff. Be prepared to only see the straightened natural hair every once in a while.

Christina: What’s the most frustrating thing about dating a woman with natural hair?

Samuel: Nothing. A woman with natural hair isn’t any different. Ya’ll still take forever to get ready.

Christina: What’s the most exciting thing about dating a woman with natural hair?

Samuel: You can get your hair wet, go swimming, work out, play golf, or do something random without spazzing out about your hair.

Christina: True, true. Do you have any final thoughts on natural hair?

Samuel: If I could say one thing about this whole natural hair thing, it would be that if you go natural, do it for yourself and not some man. Same thing with weaves, perms, whatever. Don’t do all this stuff to impress a man. We don’t sit around and dissect and over-analyze you and your hair decisions. We’re going to think you look good, no matter what.

Christina: I think you’re right. It’s been said before that women dress up, wear makeup, and do all this stuff to their hair for other women. I had a feeling ya’ll didn’t care that much.

Samuel: That’s another thing. I notice that a lot — not all — but a lot of women with natural hair tend to wear a lot of makeup. Chill on that. It’s not necessary to attract or be attractive to a man. If your hair is natural, why can’t your face be natural too? A little makeup is cool, although I prefer none. It’s hard to hug, kiss, or touch the face of a woman who constantly looks like she bathes in makeup. Natural beauty is the best kind of beauty, and all women have it.

Christina: Food for thought…

Samuel: You should get another opinion on all this, though.

Christina: From who?

Samuel: Someone that doesn’t like natural hair.

Christina: Huh?

Samuel: Who do you know that doesn’t like natural hair?

Christina: Umm, I don’t know. Nobody?

Samuel: Exactly. No man dislikes it when a woman has a head of her own hair. You’d be hard pressed to find a man that prefers weaves to natural hair.

Well there you have it, ladies. Men dig natural hair.

Have you talked to your significant other about your decision to transition, chop or rock natural hair? Do tell!

For more from Christina check out her blog, The Mane Objective. You can also find her on Instagram and Facebook.

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About Christina Patrice

Born, raised, and living in Los Angeles, Christina is BGLH's resident transitioning expert and product junkie. In addition to loving all things hair, she is a fitness novice and advocate of wearing sandals year-round. For more information on transitioning, natural hair, and her own hair journey, visit maneobjective.com. Or, if you like pictures follow Christina on Instagram @maneobjective.

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Ana
Guest
Ana

His answers mimic those of my hubby. I love that, a man loving a woman for who she is — awesome.

chris chris
Guest
chris chris

absolutely loved this interview. it’s a major eye opener. my hair has always been natural, however, when I learnt to take better care of it eg. using the stain bonnets and scarfs etc, my boyfriend of several years made 1 initial comment which was “why do you look like Rambo” and after that, he’s never made a fuss or anything of the sort. it is absolutely true that they prefer the real deal vs fake. They’re able to touch it, play with it, be able to get it wet while taking those romantic showers. It’s a blessing when they’re accommodating… Read more »

Guest1234
Guest
Guest1234

Cute interview.

tasha
Guest
tasha

I feel like you interviewed my boyfriend, his answers would be almost the exact same.

shae
Guest
shae

Good to know the male perspective on natural hair is positive! I do agree that a lot of natural women tend to be extra with the make-up which to me defeats the purpose of embracing your natural-ness lol. Good read thanks

alana
Guest
alana

so cute. wish enough women gave their men a chance to be able to say this about their natural hair, but they’re too busy hiding behind relaxers, weaves, braids, etc.

Derick Jr.
Guest
Derick Jr.

I agree with everything that brotha had to say. I always wonder why I see natural hair along with heavy make up use? Like he said, ” If your hair is natural, why can’t your face be natural too? A little makeup is cool, although I prefer none.” I prefer none as well on my gf/wife.

Jacky
Guest
Jacky

The interview was great and really informative,thanks for posting it.

keri
Guest
keri

i have been wondering the same thing. Natural hair but tonnes of makeup. i don’t get it

Ericka
Guest
Ericka

I think I need to have my bf read this. He feels like if my hair isn’t pressed, it isn’t done. And braids…FORGET ABOUT IT!

BUT DON’T WORRY IDC…IT’S MY HAIR AND IT CAN KINK IF IT WANTS TO!

TWA4now
Guest
TWA4now

It is a good article! I would to hear from more men educated on natural hair and not on his true thoughts about it all. Yes, we should do this for US and not a man or because it’s a movement or fad. When I went back to my natural hair, I received the most flack from my own race (especially black women) and little support, but I loved being relaxer free and seeing my true curl pattern! #stilllearning2lovemenaturally

Nicole
Guest
Nicole

Everytime this perspective has wormed its way into the conversation, I find it offputting and irrelevant to say the least. It just seems so desperate like “it’s great you’re doing you BUT don’t forget about men and what they think”. And then it’s nothing that hasn’t been said before. I understand that there are men in the community who need and value the information but I never see this “what do women think about your hair?” on that side of the aisle. Maybe I need to dig deeper or venture to another corner of the internet. Not anything against the… Read more »

Black Pearl
Guest
Black Pearl

Nicole, You find the topic “off putting and irrelevant,” yet you took the time to read and comment. Seems to me you would find a better way to spend your time. There is much more conversation focused on what Black women decide to do with their hair, than what Black men do with their hair. Granted, there are the men wearing (insert style here) conversations that pop up every now and again, but for the most part, WE are the focus of the conversation. Maybe you should find another blog to read. Or better yet, write your own! Now there’s… Read more »

nicole
Guest
nicole

I read and commented because I can first of all. I have plenty of blogs to read and one that I like posted something that I wanted to voice my opinion on. Not a hard concept, no? The posts on here are written and submitted by various people from all walks of life so I think BGLH can handle one commenter having a different opinion on something. Secondly, I don’t know about your reading and comprehension skills but it took me all of 90 seconds to read and comment. Not a grand undertaking of my time but thanks for your… Read more »

Froregade
Guest
Froregade

I get why it can be annoying but the reality is that a lot of people also have significant others and sometimes things like the state of your hair can actually cause conflict (that is, of course, if you’re dating a complete dbag, in which case you should promptly be rid of them). I don’t read these articles, though, as saying that we’re doing this for men. What it IS showing is that there are men who are not as superficial as people might think, or that would be hung up on something as whether hair is processed as much… Read more »

Deb
Guest
Deb

agreed.

TWA4now
Guest
TWA4now

What are some of your go to styles when your natural is is NOT cooperating that day?

#1 wash and gos
#2 mini twist or braids (must try braids)
#3 flat twist or high bun
#4 two or four friend braids
#5 stand by wig for a day or weekend
#6 a scarf or ball cap and earrings

I wanted to stop at #3 but I kept thinking of go to styles…see our hair is very versatile! #hollar

Taleah
Guest
Taleah

I love this. My bf has reacted almost identically to this guy. It’s reassuring to know that someone you love is supportive of you and your decisions.

Muslimah Coleman Pilgrim
Guest
Muslimah Coleman Pilgrim

I guess all men are basically the same. This sounds like my hubby. As long as my hair looks good and it’s growing out of my head then he’s fine with it. Although he does prefer longer hair than hair that is short as well. SMH. I would look super cute with a boy cut and some colour to pop it.

Tyvette Symone
Guest

My husband Jacob encouraged me to go natural after we got married, and he even was the one who did my big chop! It was a great bonding experience. He told me he felt special because he was the first person who got to see the ‘real Tyvette’. He calls my Satin Bonnet a muffin…LOL so every time I’m getting sleepy he says, “uh oh, its muffin time.” It all in love though. We were in Target today and I said jokingly, “oh crap its time for a new relaxer”, and he replied, “And after that its time to get… Read more »

T.
Guest
T.

Muffin time”! That is too adorable.

eve-audrey
Guest
eve-audrey

awww!

Tonia
Guest
Tonia

My hubby calls me Jiffy Pop! Even my mom uses that now…lol

Tyvette Symone
Guest

[img]https://bglh-marketplace.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/IMG_0056.jpg[/img]

eve-audrey
Guest
eve-audrey

your boyfriend is super cute!

Tyvette Symone
Guest

That’s my husband girl! Thanks! lol

Simoan
Guest
Simoan

Big up the big man!

ashley lisa
Guest

As an african american woman dating a white guy.…the topic of natural hair has definitely come up. It is hilarious that my boyfriend now understands my hair style changes every couple of weeks. He loves putting his hair in my afro (2 years and 2 months since my big chop). I am visiting him this weekend and he asked me..“so how will you have your fro when you come visit this time?!” in excited curiosity. He claims his favorite styles are twist outs and picked fros. He likes it big with lots of body 🙂
[img]https://bglh-marketplace.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/551651_10152051834135508_1642901226_n.jpg[/img]

Claire
Guest
Claire

It seems white guys who date black girls actually want to date BLACK GIRLS lol. cute

Ami
Guest
Ami

Your bf I too adorable! He got a brother? Lol.

dsha
Guest
dsha

Lol, I loved that conversation… he was very straight forward and he is right- though some men like to see extentions and a variety of styles, most prefer natural hair. I know mine sure does- I have a hard time getting him out of my hair (in and out of public). He HATES it when i wear extentions and often asks when i’m going to take them out.

It’s good to have someone who loves you for who you are and not for the products you wear.
[img]https://bglh-marketplace.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Pictureofme2.png[/img]

dsha
Guest
dsha

Lol, I loved that conversation… he was very straight forward and he is right- though some men like to see extentions and a variety of styles, most prefer natural hair. I know mine sure does- I have a hard time getting him out of my hair (in and out of public). He HATES it when i wear extentions and often asks when i’m going to take them out.

It’s good to have someone who loves you for who you are and not for the products you wear.
[img]https://bglh-marketplace.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Pictureofme2.png[/img]
[img]https://bglh-marketplace.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Pictureofme2.png[/img]

Keikimummy
Guest
Keikimummy

Sorry… I hate to rain on the parade, but this view is really not representative of how All black men feel (I can’t talk about other races, because I don’t know). My husband is a lot like Samuel there. He loves my hair natural. he loves me with long, short, black, blonde, straight or curly hair… He loves ME, and so he loves what’s on my head. His attitude truly helps me, to be honest, because there are other men in my life… Some of them gave me the side eye when I cut my hair off. Some had some… Read more »

eve-audrey
Guest
eve-audrey

black men who don’t like natural hair just want to buy into the mainstream standard of beauty. some of them are complexed too and just want to share those complexes with the others. how could you hate on someone else the kind of hair that grows out of your own head? the one who told you he liked his indian wife’s hair better is an idiot. if he dates someone solely because of her hair type then you did not lose anything. having straight hair doesn’t make one beautiful you can be ugly and classless with straight hair. anyway i… Read more »

Deb
Guest
Deb

I think the MOST important (male) support to any woman would be from the ma she’s in a relationship with. I agree that you should do it for yourself. The great thing is that in a healthy relationship, the guy that loves you will value your improved self worth over his personal preference. Honestly, I’d say that natural haired ladies believe the average black guy DOESN’T like natural hair and that this is the norm. Most have negative experiences with black men about their natural hair but I’m hearing here and there about women who have more positive experiences. I… Read more »

Phoxxie
Guest
Phoxxie

Why would we want a poll like that? Who cares what any man thinks besides the one we spend our lives with and even then if he don’t like it OH WELL! I’m not putting chemicals on my head to appease anybody.

Rachael
Guest
Rachael

Wow. My experience with natural hair is totally opposite of yours. I get compliments from men, black white and Hispanic who love my natural 4A/B hair and I live in Jersey. Every now and then I’d run into the few who loved my hair flat ironed straight but — they don’t matter. Lol They are so far and few in between that it rarely even leaves an impression on me. In my experience, men of any color are just turned on by long hair.

Shahidah
Guest

Yeah I have to agree with Keikimummy.

jojo satoes
Guest
jojo satoes

Itll be interesting to know the race of all the guys who are being touted as loving natiral hair. i think non blacks tend to be more accepting of natural hair than black men. i cud be wrong tho.

Shahidah
Guest

I get much more compliments from men of other races which is a bit disappointing but I still would not go back to relaxing and I just don’t even like to straighten anymore

Vannessa
Guest
Vannessa

True. I find that I got more hair compliments while relaxed. But I think it is because people don’t know how to feel about it. As much as natural haired women have to question their beauty based on societal norms, so do others. I so wish Bey or Rihanna would rock their natural hair so we can change what has been programmed in our heads as what is beautiful or not.

Jumoké
Guest
Jumoké

I saw an interview like this on YouTube and my response was the same Keikikummy: “You should hear what the AVERAGE black man has to think about natural hair =/” and wow did people attack me! I’m not saying this to bring down black women, or because I date the “average” black man, or because I can’t get a man. My boyfriend is Black American and loves my natural hair because it’s a part of me but in reality he is NOT the average black man. Interviews like this are misleading in my opinion because it’s not a true representation… Read more »

Colorfulkinks
Guest
Colorfulkinks

you are very accurate on your response. I saw the same things as well. However, manemoves(on youtube) has an interview by a male who interviews other males so you can get a better overview on what black men think, but then again it is only in one state so.…. I guess we’re in the dark for now. All the guys I know love my hair though.

Jumoké
Guest
Jumoké

I will definitely check it out! 🙂

Deb
Guest
Deb

a couple of years ago when the natural movement were just starting, there were videos where black guys interviewed shared very negative opinions about natural hair. The interviewers weren’t even hiding their hair lol… I’ve watched a couple of interviewers where a woman interviewed strangers while hiding her hair and the support/hate against natural hair was about 50/50.

It’s of course always positive when a woman’s significant other is interviewed. I watched one where the girl was SO TOUCHY about her hair that the guy was scared to answer “incorrectly”. It was sort of ridiculous

Jumoké
Guest
Jumoké

Lol that’s exactly what I mean. I would just like to see a well, thought out, thorough interview about how black men feel about natural hair

Colorfulkinks
Guest
Colorfulkinks

is it just me or are natural hair blogs and youtube subscribers dating 99.9% out of their race? I mean, i’m exposed to other races all the time-my high school was 87.8% white- but usually black girls I know only like black guys, and i’m from ny which is more so mixed than other places. If my friends were to date outside of their race it would most likely be a hispanic dude or something. I like all types of races (esp. black and latino) but i’m confused as to what is going on. Literally if you type in “husband… Read more »

hmm
Guest
hmm

This is true. I notice the same but there are vloggers with black boyfriends and husbands “toyaboo”, “mahoganycurls”, but they wont be as quickly noticed as a interracial couple. Its kind of disgusting when you think about it, that people gravitate more towards a video cause theres a white husband or bf thats dating a black girl. I know one vlogger went from around 4000 subs to 20000 with 1–2 months! All because her relationship was more out there through more videos. Still love her channel but NOBODY would care if it was just a black man. Notice how the… Read more »

Guest1234
Guest
Guest1234

That’s cute, honey. Keep living. One day, you’ll look back on your point of view and laugh. Here’s some info from somebody a bit older. You don’t have any idea what your ideal mate is. And it will blow your mind when you meet him. And when you get around to having kids, you won’t give a rats a$$ what other people will think about their complexion and whether they look like you or whether you’re their nanny. It’s laughable that something that silly and small could ever be a concern for a mother, darling. Keep living. One day, you’ll… Read more »

hmm
Guest
hmm

Lol I am living lady and I am happy. You made assumptions that I wasn’t because of one comment?? Wow. Your tone is unnecessary.

Vonnie
Guest
Vonnie

Guest 1234 AMEN!

Signed a natural-haired woman that’s engaged to a non-black who could give a DAYUM what others think! Was with me relaxed, Big Chopped, and now a year & a half in!

colorfulkinks.wordpress.com
Guest
colorfulkinks.wordpress.com

I totally know what you mean, it’s sad reading comments from black women online who praise others for dating outside of their race. Love is love. You will not believe how many times i’ve seen black women state “i need to get me a white man”. Smh, and it’s even more embarrassing bc it makes us look desperate or something. Oh well, that’s the world we live in.

Oh and did you say you’re from the carribean?! I’m from Jamaica, big ups to you 🙂

hmm
Guest
hmm

Haitian. 🙂

eve-audrey
Guest
eve-audrey

so if i understand you well you would rather running after a black man who does not accept you than going with a white/non black man who accepts you? i think it has been discussed several times that certain amount of black men have distate for black women and would pass on a decent black woman to have a non-black one. the fact that some of you notice many natural haired women are in a relationship with non-black men looks like an indicator of the level of acceptance of natural hair within the community to me. but everyone is entitled… Read more »

childofananny
Guest
childofananny

I’m sorry but if you “don’t know how to say this without offending some” you probably should not have said it at all. I am biracial and people tell me all the time that I look like BOTH my parents. And even if I didn’t why on earth would that matter? I’ve seen lots of monoracial kids who look nothing like their parents and saying that anyone who has a mixed race kid will look like hired help is just downright rude and disrespectful. Just because of skin colour? And you know if a white person said anything like that… Read more »

Deb
Guest
Deb

hmm, it might be a mix of people watching a couple that looks different out of curiousness about dynamics..etc (sort of like people staring at interracial couples in public not because they are disgusted but because they are curious) and maybe even women who are interested in dating outside of their race. It’s only on youtube that I PERSONALLY see this phenomenon because where I live, most black people date each other and a fairly good number are college educated. And yes Looking at youtube, you’d think there are tons of IR couples of different pairings everywhere but depending on… Read more »

hmm
Guest
hmm

You’re right. It’s the curiosity factor but also viewers promptly asking things like : How do I get a (inset race)guy to notice me? Things like that don’t help. I’d rather black women “happen” to fall in love with xyz, then seek it out because they’ve been inspired somehow. I also agree that people shouldn’t base real life on YT. I know I don’t. I hardly ever see bw dating out in real life.. but things like this do have an impact, just this post ALONE people have noted their non black bfs loving their natural hair. I’ve read many… Read more »

colorfulkinks.wordpress.com
Guest
colorfulkinks.wordpress.com

Amen I agree. I don’t see this “black men hating natural hair” thing in my life. I guess it’s a shock factor for some who aren’t used to it. I always have my hair looking good and black men are always complimenting me. I saw it in high school and also college. People of every gender and race just thought my hair was cool, because it was different and always looked nice (well.…mostly). I personally think that guys just want a woman who is confident and looks good. And for those who really do hate natural hair, give them time.… Read more »

Tanya
Guest
Tanya

This is interesting. I’ve never had anyone on my channel ask me how to get a white man, but I have had one or two call me all kinds of terrible things because they saw that my husband was white and made assumptions about me. I have a black male friend and many black female friends who love natural hair, and encourage me in my journey, but one or two other black males who weren’t to impressed. By and large, I have had positive responses,and I lived in Atlanta through most of my natural hair journey. I think there are… Read more »

Tanya
Guest
Tanya

Oh, and I’ll be 40 this year, just to put things into perspective a little.

Naturalbeauty
Guest
Naturalbeauty

I just think the tables are turning. Black women are tired of being put down and made to feel undesirable because of this or that. We used to get slammed by mainstream because our lips and butts are too big…now since “they” decided that it’s acceptable, full lips and big butts are “OK”. Many of us are sick of Black men drooling over everything that’s not black, as if everyone is beautiful except us. On the contrary! Our beauty is timeless and unmatched. Even still they will look past us to gawk at something else. Other men see our beauty… Read more »

Tanya
Guest
Tanya

I’m one of those women who married a white guy and happens to have natural hair. The two are actually connected, but not in the way you might think. First let me say that I was born in Queens and raised in Brooklyn, then finished my last couple of years oh high school in Georgia. As you can expect, in NY, I was exposed to a wide range of races, because NY is so multi-cultural. It was just a normal part of my reality. My mother definitely raised me to believe that “all races are created equal, and I never… Read more »

Tanya
Guest
Tanya

Oops. I wrote “I’m certainly not speaking for all natural women married to me of other races”. I meant “married to men of other races”, not “me”, lol.

Jenny
Guest
Jenny

He’s direct and that was his opinion concerning natural hair probably informed by his experience with his girlfriend. I would like to see a 4b/c with her boyfriend’s attitude to natural hair because a lot of the men who champion natural hair on blogs say things like Samuel said about length etc and for women with tighter hair, length is harder to achieve or see due to shrinkage. What does a black man dating a 4b/c say about natural hair? Wash days are an entire day, wearing your hair out can be less of an occurrence. As for the make… Read more »

Vonnie
Guest
Vonnie

Hey there, Team4c in the house. My fiancé LOVES my natural hair the best since we’ve been together, and I was relaxed when we first met. He’s been here thru wash days, shrinkage, the whole shebang. Loves every coil on my head..

m2
Guest
m2

Hi. I’m in a long term comm rltnshp with a black man and he loves my natural hair. I will admit that when we first met he mentioned that I could blow it out everyday and that wud be fine with him, but I QUICKLY squashed that. I think everyone, not just black women, are transitioning to accepting our natural hair. We don’t exist in a cocoon, our powerful forces affect all around us; work, school, church, old, young etc. We just have to educate those around us, by whatever method we choose. I’m 4b/4c and wore a fade for… Read more »

Candice
Guest
Candice

I love this article. My boyfriend, now husband, actually encouraged me to go natural. Oh, and he’s white!

shelikes
Guest
shelikes

yes, based on my experiences also, white men and middle eastern men LOVE brown skinned bushy haired women more than other ethnic groups.

Smallfro
Guest
Smallfro

I am married to a white man and he is much more supportive of my natural hair, skin, and all things that make me black. My former black boyfriends were not as supportive and preferred the european beauty standard. I think it is just a matter of preference. Not all men like curly hair or straight hair. I’m sure men gravitate towards women who value the same things they do.

Dee
Guest
Dee

I think too many women invest too much energy in whether men like natural hair or not. Most really do not care whether your hair is straight or not, just as long as you and your hair look presentable. I’ve been natural since I was 13 (I’m 27 now) and never has hair been a topic with any man that I’ve dated. In fact I think that most of the men that approach me do so because they like the natural look. Now transitioning within a relationship is a whole different ball game. But if that’s what you want to… Read more »

Trini
Guest
Trini

Lol @ “transitioning is not for punks.” You’re spot on!

Ummmm
Guest
Ummmm

Why do we care what other people are doing in their private relationships sooo damn much? The article writer has a black man so how did this topic come up? Lemme guess the girls in the older comments who have posted pictures of themselves with non black SOs. This site is black girl with long hair not black- girl ‑with ‑black — boyfriend — only. What an awful amount of shade to throw at people who are just sharing their experiences. Nobody brought up race until the two young ladies above began speaking about youtubers with non black boyfriends, all… Read more »

Vonnie
Guest
Vonnie

Why you got thumbed down I have no idea. I have no idea how this thread got turned into IR bashing. Like we went out “hunting” for another race. No, that seems to be a trait that the men you want exclusively seem to do. Love is colorblind, and how we met our mates is irrelevant. If you’re not down with it, cool, but don’t try to diss what you don’t understand.

PS I have nothing against black men, for the record. But obviously being in an IR relationship, some if the comments I’ve seen just boiled my f******* blood…

Ummmm
Guest
Ummmm

It’s a function I wish they would get rid of. It adds nothing to the debate. All it does is censor and negate people’s opinions because a few bad apples club together to incessantly down vote others. I didn’t expect to see the ignorant views that are espoused here being thumbed up by people. If they didn’t have style icons, I’d stop using this site. I think it lost a lot of readers post makeover and with the addition of the thumbs up/down function. Most of the opinions are really vanilla now for fear of backlash. Lots of comments that… Read more »

hmm
Guest
hmm

Lmao Are you serious? You two spent the entire time talking about what TWO people said. Did some opinions really effect you that much? It’s very coward like that you would respond on indirectly. What’s even funnier is you got here bright and early to talk about this. Oh and APPARENTLY college aged women should talk about race, just “stick to books”? GTFOH with that. If anything this clearly shows that old age doesn’t come with maturity.

Ummmm
Guest
Ummmm

No I referred to you I.e Hmm — nothing indirect about it. You can talk about cowardice all you want but what could be more cowardly than indirectly speaking about women who date outside their race in a derogatory manner knowing that over the page two women had talked about their non black boyfriend’s attitude to their hair. I can’t believe people are giving thumbs up to a person who described black women with mixed children as looking like the help. No one can put us in a box like we do ourselves. No Hmm, you’re not discussing race, you’re… Read more »

Yes!
Guest
Yes!

This is spot on!!!!

Tee
Guest
Tee

It’s so sad to see everyone going back and forth concerning race or hair issues with race. Just love who you love. Black men have been dating outside our race for a minute and most of my black male counterparts have dated or date outside their race. We as black women many times limit ourselves when it comes to dating outside our race. I don’t think anyone should limit themselves to one race. It’s just whoever finds you beautiful and enhances your life whatever he may be! Love has no color but we live in a world where our black… Read more »

Gabrie'l
Guest
Gabrie'l

Love what Samuel had to say. It was great to hear and is the reason why I continue to follow this blog and other natural hair blogs. I usually do not hear anything positive regarding my hair and am struggling with my own negative feelings towards my hair for the past couple years since going natural. I still feel like I’m trying to find my feet and need to break the bad habits and limited thinking that I have had for so long. Thank you to both Christina and Samuel for making my day. Oh by the way, is Samuel… Read more »

Naturalbeauty
Guest
Naturalbeauty

I hopeyou do learn to appreciate your natural hair. Being natural is not for “punks” like the sista said earlier:-). Its just like a person…you have to get to know the real her. Learn what she likes and doesn’t like. That takes time and work. Thankfully, the payoff is wonderful with a new feeling of liberation and beauty that is all yours and God-given. Enjoy it girl! I’m sure its beautiful. YouTube and Google are your best friends. Search natural hairstyles and you will get tons of ideas. What I did was I purposefully found hairstyles that looked cute on… Read more »

Netta
Guest
Netta

I so agree with naturalbeauty you have to have confidence cause without confidence and patience it won’t work

Christina Patrice
Guest

Hey Gabrie’l! Lol, I would have never thought to compare him to Dude from The Couple. Although I’m sure Samuel would be flattered, he’s way too reserved to be in front of a camera. Thanks for the support and compliments! Really appreciate it!

Temple
Guest
Temple

I’m so tired of worrying about what men think of me. Everything I seem to do to make myself happy and look good, must be for them, eh? I’m tired. I can never want for myself. Anytime I doll myself up, “who you tryna impress? what’s his name?”… “You don’t have to wear a lot of makeup, I think you look good without!” Okay, and??? Thank you for stating the obvious, bruh. Not like I just wear makeup to accentuate and define what’s already there or because I just like makeup… “Why you wearing weaves when you don’t ‘need’ to?… Read more »

Naturalbeauty
Guest
Naturalbeauty

I KNOW THAT’S RIGHT! I couldn’t care less about what men think about my hair. The decision to be natural was mine and mine alone. I hate that that is even a concern for us. It’s what God wanted me to have but you want me chemically and permanently alter it, or constantly keep it covered up so that I can try and mirror some image of someone else??? REALLY??? Sorry, not happening. Dont get me wrong, I have worn weaves and had my hair straightened as a “naturalista”, but it was because I wanted to try a particular style… Read more »

Mercy
Guest
Mercy

Wow. your bf samuel sounds amazing. I’m from Alabama and the black guys here arent as accepting to natural hair as other races amazingly. some men have even thrown their comments at me. my daddy hates it. he even says he will put a relaxer in my hair while i slept! My bf loves my hair hes always running his fingers through it and hes multi racial. so if more black men were like samuel in my state more women would go natural around here. i wish my mom and sister would because relaxer isnt doing good to their hair… Read more »

Christina Patrice
Guest

Thank you all for your positive responses, critiques, and engaging eachother in fruitful dialogue! I love the multi-faceted nature of the natural hair community! From different corners of the country (and world), different walks of life, different experiences, and more. It is really encouraging 🙂

Cee Mac
Guest
Cee Mac

My husband loves my natural hair and when I was going natural when we were dating, he loved it then too. 🙂

Cee Mac
Guest
Cee Mac

Loved this post btw! 🙂 Awesome job

BB
Guest
BB

You’d be hard pressed to find a man that prefers weaves to natural hair.”
You sure don’t know my ex boyfriend. He was ashamed to walk with me and be seen by people because I don’t have a “regular” hair style. And 3 years later he still doesn’t understand why I ditched him…
The important thing is to find a man who loves the real you, independent of hair, makeup, clothes or whatever. YOU.

**Sweetie06**
Guest
**Sweetie06**

I found this interview to be really funny and cute. I loved his answers and his way of saying what was on his mind. I think all Black men are different in their preferences. Some black men don’t give a care whether a woman is natural, relaxed, or weaved up, as long as she’s beautiful inside and/or out. Some dislike natural hair and will talk that “good hair, bad hair” stuff. Some prefer natural hair, point, blank, period. Some black men *claim* they prefer natural hair but then you find out that’s only if it is Tracee Ellis Ross-looking hair.… Read more »

Black & Olive
Guest
Black & Olive

You guys are hilarious! I loved this interview, I’ve never thought about asking my boyfriend how he felt about natural hair however he doesn’t really notice anything anyway! Lol

Tyshia Shante
Guest

Very cute interview. This sounds like one of me and my husband daily conversations. I’m forever asking him questions about “the movement”.

Jenga
Guest
Jenga

That was funny and interesting! I never got the part about being able to get natural hair wet, though, no matter who has said it. I never worried about my relaxed hair getting wet, ever. But with my natural hair, water will destroy any ‑out do I have. It will make it shrink up terribly. And I don’t have the pretty curls that can look good short. I have the no-texture type of hair. Now that it’s long enough to put in big twist, I’m less afraid to get it soaking wet in the shower. But ya, water is scary.

E
Guest
E

When you’ve just chemically treated your hair you’re not supposed to wet it for a period of time, and some people don’t like wetting their hair before a chemical service

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