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This Photo of Actor Lance Gross and Friends Was Supposed to Be Funny, Now It’s Sparking a Debate on Colorism

Avatar • Dec 26, 2016

Over the holidays, actor Lance Gross and wife Rebecca Jefferson took a couples photo while on vacation in Big Bear, New York. The trip is an annual holiday tradition for Gross, who has been going there with friends since 2006. But it’s the presence of a dark-skinned black woman at the end of the line — eyes averted and sitting alone — that has folks talking. As the photo makes the rounds on social media, it is sparking some heated commentary and a whole lot of projection. Some are calling it a visualization of colorism, others an unfortunate couples photo, still others say it is an image of the ‘strong black woman.’

The mystery woman in the photo, who is a long time friend of Gross, has spoken out, expressing incredulity at the uproar and clarifying that the photo is actually a joke.

That the picture has triggered such a response is evidence of how sensitive the issue of colorism is in black culture. Ladies, what are your thoughts?

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Itumeleng
Itumeleng
3 years ago

If she hadn’t explained I would have thought that maybe her man is the one taking the group photo.

Why hasn’t her significant other not joined them at Big bear? Very strange indeed to be solo during the holidays when you are seeing someone special. Maybe her man is with his family, but if he is why wasn’t she asked to come along? LOL

She sounds way too defensive.

me dont likey
me dont likey
3 years ago

hmm

NOT A TROLL
NOT A TROLL
3 years ago

To be honest, why are we still acting shocked? Like it or not, a lot of black men especially dark skinned black men take a liking to light skinned women. It’s been a thing since forever. Why are we as dark skinned women still getting upset about it? I think the outrage has something to do with darker skinned women feeling like we are not beautiful enough for these men. I think relationships like these are a hit to egos. Instead of begging men to date and marry us, lets get ourselves together (if you haven’t done so already) and get… Read more »

Itumeleng
Itumeleng
3 years ago
Reply to  NOT A TROLL

Yes but haven’t dark skinned women been doing that all along? I mean going for men who want them dark skin and all? You make it sound like there is an island out there that specifically wants only dark skinned women. I have a light skinned friend who only likes white men, but just because she has seen a few dark skinned women with white men doesn’t mean that white guys don’t like women who look like her. White men date light skinned women as well, its silly to believe otherwise, just like its stupid to think black men don’t like… Read more »

fluffi3
fluffi3
3 years ago
Reply to  Itumeleng

true, but the media seems to run with/perpetuate this & it’s tiring & it does have some truth to it sadly, look at the types of women that black men who are rappers, athletes or actors pick they are always going to get what they deem a show or a dime piece (one that is white, mixed, a kim kardash. look-a-like or any race but black).

VoiceofReason
VoiceofReason
3 years ago
Reply to  fluffi3

Snoop Dog’s wife not black, Ice Cube wife not black? Denzel Washington wife not black? Samuel L. Jackson wife not black? Terry Crews wife not black or is she too light to be considered black? Media savvy individuals know that what is always portrayed is not always the reality. Learn to discern, please.

fluffi3
fluffi3
3 years ago
Reply to  VoiceofReason

for that handful of black actors who have black wives, there are many more that DATE OUT (i.e.: RG3, Michael Strahan, James Earl Jones, O.J. Simpson, Sidney Potier, Taye Diggs, Lionel Ritchie et al.). “[S]avvy individuals” also KNOW that there is a thing called colorism that plagues the black community (where many blacks hold skin & hair texture to a high standard), which plays a PIVOTAL ROLE in how black males in the spotlight tend to choose women who are anything but black & p.s. I do know how to discern!

VoiceofReason
VoiceofReason
3 years ago
Reply to  fluffi3

I think a lot also has to do with who is traversing in a social circle. And, the fact that those women they were with were with them from the beginning. Like Taye Diggs, yeah, we all thought he was fine as wine in How Stella Got Her Groove Back but where were all the black women when he was doing theatre and was a broke actor? Probably nowhere to be found. Maybe the woman he married believed in and supported his dream and gladly lived in struggle love until he “made it.” Again, a lot of assumptions are being… Read more »

cth4GiG
cth4GiG
3 years ago
Reply to  VoiceofReason

Yeah you need to have your racing shoes on too bc a lot of non-white women hurrily portray the perfect woman role and throw themselves at Black men. And men are such weak beings.

fluffi3
fluffi3
3 years ago
Reply to  VoiceofReason

sure, in some cases what you say above can be applicable (but “what if” Taye didn’t want a black girl when he was on the come up? Where you there first hand to see black women diss him & then he chose the women he married (who he has since divorced)? u don’t know any more than I do, so you are technically making assumptions as well). Men are very visual beings, it all starts with the look, no man in the spotlight, no matter what color is going to go for a plane jane, sure, in some cases, some may… Read more »

La Bandita
La Bandita
3 years ago
Reply to  VoiceofReason

You just spreading lies. Taye Diggs said he hated being dark as a child and his mother said he would marry White. I never thought he was cute. He hated his skin color and doesn’t want his kid (who does not look mixed race) to be just Black.

Itumeleng
Itumeleng
3 years ago
Reply to  fluffi3

You are right. The media is the guilty party here. Recently there was an article on Rihanna looking stunning in Barbados and there were white guys checking her out. On a British newspaper you better believe they cropped the admiring white guys out. We wouldn’t want white people to catch white men openly admiring black women would we?
The media is there to cater to insecure white or other lighter women.
Dark skinned women are VERY desired.

fluffi3
fluffi3
3 years ago
Reply to  Itumeleng

i’m glad they are desired ;-

cth4GiG
cth4GiG
3 years ago
Reply to  Itumeleng

Dark skinned women are VERY desired” is sooo true. And any tone Black woman. I along with other Black women friends have had several non-white men second look, sly smile, light up, stare, compliment, inappropriately touch my arm/waist in a conversation, second visit, join during lunch…I can go on and on…all to get closer to what they admire…A Black woman.

Tee Johnson
Tee Johnson
3 years ago
Reply to  NOT A TROLL

The issue is not dark women.….its the men

Elaine Hunter
Elaine Hunter
3 years ago
Reply to  NOT A TROLL

I agree with your statement. Go where you are celebrated and not tolerated. As a black woman, you can’t look at this picture and NOT feel some kind of way. Black men have marginalized black women for decades, and black women keep feeding into the degradation and for the life of me I can not understand WHY we continue to put up with it. It has to stop. This seriously has to stop.

Rae Webb
Rae Webb
3 years ago

I get what the issue is, but let them live. If the darker skinned woman has explained what it is, it should be a problem.

Janet Holmes
Janet Holmes
3 years ago

Un freaking real.

TWA4now
TWA4now
3 years ago

It seems like she is uninterested or doesn’t want to be in the photo.

kiki
kiki
3 years ago
Reply to  TWA4now

She is also delusional calling them other ones black.

VoiceofReason
VoiceofReason
3 years ago
Reply to  kiki

If they identify as black who are you to tell them they are not? Like, at what shade on the spectrum does a black person cease being black in your eyes?

La Bandita
La Bandita
3 years ago
Reply to  VoiceofReason

White, ok. If you look White you can’t say you’re Black unless you walk around with a Black card, lol.

TWA4now
TWA4now
3 years ago
Reply to  kiki

Idk.…it doesn’t seems like she wants to be in the photo…I don’t get the “joke” part?

GuestWriter
GuestWriter
3 years ago

You know… I feel like black women, especially us dark skin women need a course on personal PR. I get that it’s her choice and all but it’s how it is perceived and the impression that it gives off. It’s a form of self-degradation if you ask me. Why are you with someone and not seeing them on the holidays? Why volunteer to put yourself in a couple’s photo? Why not take the photo for them? This is the kind of voluntary humiliation that puts “other women” on a pedestal instead of us being seen as on their level. And… Read more »

pekinchikenwing
pekinchikenwing
3 years ago
Reply to  GuestWriter

personal pr and voluntary humilation, those are great terms. i agree with your post 100%.

kiki
kiki
3 years ago

She is delusional. They are not black…They are mixed and not dark like her. That last one looks white. A shame though the dark girl once again gets picked on.

Imade Iyamu
3 years ago
Reply to  kiki

lol I died when she said that. Maybe they’re all black to her, but there’s a reason those men are with “their kind of black” and not “her kind of black”.

fluffi3
fluffi3
3 years ago
Reply to  Imade Iyamu

yes, when they “arrive” (black men in sports & entertainment) they run for anything non-black or mixed race, so tired of these types of black men, who seem to all suffer from this same colorism “disease.”

Tee Johnson
Tee Johnson
3 years ago
Reply to  kiki

And plus the fact that she is in the plump side.……isn’t that an issue as well?

Charlie
Charlie
3 years ago

I don’t think she is responsible for carrying the burden of someone else’s insecurities, be it about skin color, hair texture, relationship visibility, whatever random strangers on the Internet think you are obligated to address/represent. I know that’s what I’m leaving behind in 2016…obligatory social burdens. I lost my hair in 2016 due to stress; miss me with all these responsibilities for other grown women. I’m going to let people live and hope they extend me the same courtesy to me.

nml
nml
3 years ago
Reply to  Charlie

good luck with not being obliged to social burdens.…

La Bandita
La Bandita
3 years ago
Reply to  nml

Yeah, why did she even post, to derail?

VoiceofReason
VoiceofReason
3 years ago
Reply to  Charlie

Amen, honey! Happy New Year.

KB
KB
3 years ago

Not one bit funny…actually it shows how bad we need healing, black men in particular…Then we wonder why K Michelle and Lil Kim are having issues…they knew better and I would’ve been embarrassed to put something like this out on to social media…Now another thing to deal with in the work place tomorrow.…thanks…#KeepUrSelfHateToYourSelf…ugh…

dedesantos
dedesantos
3 years ago

Those two women are black?!cmon they are mixed race stop with the nonsense they could pass for white. Andyeah this photo sums up how black especially dark skinned black women are treated in society.

Lifeisgood!
Lifeisgood!
3 years ago
Reply to  dedesantos

Society ? It’s black males treating dark skinned black women the worst. Why blanket that with this “society” claim?

Eve
Eve
3 years ago
Reply to  dedesantos

Rachel Dolezal was black. Lol the way black people jump to include everyone it’s no wonder.

Me
Me
3 years ago

Some people need to learn that inside jokes don’t translate well on public social media posts. Even if we all were to believe that there’s no colorism at play here, it probably would’ve been better to just send it to the phone numbers/e‑mail addresses of the family and friends that they personally know would “get it.” There’s no way for strangers to see that pic and immediately go “oh, this must be an annual tradition where her boo is never there and they do this because it’s funny even though she does have a man.” (Maybe they wrote that in… Read more »

NIRA
NIRA
3 years ago
Reply to  Me

Because of what? Because social media and bitter darker women decided that it’s inappropriate? I know all to well about colorisim and the division the media has portrayed and the history of how darker women was treated cause my mother explained it all to well with me growing up because darker women bullied me. I get it…But not every thing requires approval from one black person to another what’s appropriate on there social media page. Or who darker enough. You and brainwashed other women saw colorisim.

Me
Me
3 years ago
Reply to  NIRA

Uhh… Because inside jokes don’t translate to people outside of the joke. Ever. That’s why they’re “inside” jokes. Posting a private joke publicly when only you and the few people involved get, and then getting mad because the public ran with their own assumptions about it is juvenile.

Karminia
Karminia
3 years ago

I’m a bit tired of ignorance (and hate) being covered up as a joke. If you are a celebrity and you post this type of picture, how can you possibly think it won’t have an impact on the people that see it? No one would have said anything if they had kept it private and shared it among themselves. If you take part in or post something yourself as a celebrity you have to take responsibility for the messages you convey with your image. The subdivisions among women of color is s well-known issue. We can’t act as if it… Read more »

Alexus
Alexus
3 years ago
Reply to  Karminia

omg finally someone making some sense i dont understand the whining of some of these women saying oh light skin women have it bad to dark skin women act like we’re inferior annnnnnt wrong sit down! cause since slavery darker skin people especially women have been treated like garbage and its projected in media and in families its psychological dont try to get pitty because some one darker in melanin uses a defence mechanism of saying youre inferior because youre ligher when you know damn well how black history in america is unless you dont you need to read a… Read more »

Karminia
Karminia
3 years ago
Reply to  Alexus

Exactly, it’s too late for them to start saying they didn’t want to offend and that it’s a joke because it’s basic history and it projects ideas of skin-tone inferiority in women. They are making public a type of oppression that has always been there and they are saying it’s a joke. It’s plain disrespectful to the struggle and to those darker toned women who have fought and are still fighting for their successes in a world where lighter skin is advantaged. That’s why if they want to be ignorant they should do it in private or accept the backlash… Read more »

Claire
Claire
3 years ago
Reply to  Karminia

Exactly. Let’s start boycotting these color struck actors. I don’t even know who he is but I see this everyday. Black men with ugly white women or light skin and Black women left out.

VoiceofReason
VoiceofReason
3 years ago
Reply to  Karminia

So, the uncoupled woman in the picture … the third wheel, would have been less offensive to some if she were light and bright as well? Or, is it because the sister is darker toned that everyone else’s feelings are heaped on her? That not only is she uncoupled but that she is dark and that the reason she is uncoupled?

Karminia
Karminia
3 years ago
Reply to  VoiceofReason

I don’t know… maybe it’s the fact that it’s the beautiful, thick, and natural 4b/4c haired dark sista that is pushed to the far side of the photo looking mad while they are all smiling with the one with the straightest hair on the complete opposite side of her in the picture. She (the darkest sista) could have been in the middle smiling like the rest of them, but I guess that was whole point of the joke.

cth4GiG
cth4GiG
3 years ago
Reply to  VoiceofReason

Why does tone offend anyway. Truly psychological!

Mka
Mka
3 years ago
Reply to  VoiceofReason

I share in your confusion.

NIRA
NIRA
3 years ago
Reply to  Karminia

Sooooo.…because you don’t know the joke it comes off as representing skin-tone inferiority? Hahaha.…..(Not funny really sad) but hahaha

Karminia
Karminia
3 years ago
Reply to  NIRA

I don’t mind how sad I look. There are plenty of bad jokes on the internet and everyone has their reactions. If you found it funny, then good, have your laugh. I don’t, because that joke would have been best kept among their own friends.

Purple Sound
Purple Sound
3 years ago
Reply to  Karminia

What gets is that they’re saying it’s a running joke, as if we were in on it the whole time and they only posted one picture. They could not have been so ignorant that a reaction such as this genuinely took them by surprise. If so, I guess it is true that celebs live in their own little bubbles where the amount in their bank account eclipses the real problems affecting everyday Blacks, the same Blacks who support them and put money in their pockets. Alrighty then.

VoiceofReason
VoiceofReason
3 years ago
Reply to  Karminia

How is it another’s responsibility for your perception? Where do they do that at? I am sure when they took that photo, in the minute space and time they shot it that they had to think that a bunch of women are going to notice the skin tones of their significant others. Okay.

Karminia
Karminia
3 years ago
Reply to  VoiceofReason

Well I guess that’s just what being a celebrity is about. You have to think about what you post or what others post of you online and what it says about you. I understand that no one is perfect, but that picture was staged as a joke so they did think it through and they had more than enough time to think about posting it. I know some people find it hilarious but the messages projected by jokes can come off wrong and people are allowed to react however they want when they make it public.

VoiceofReason
VoiceofReason
3 years ago
Reply to  Karminia

I saw at least four other photos from different years those within that group taken over the years and it is theme is the same. Obviously, it is a long-standing joke or whatever within that group. WE ARE NOT WITHIN THAT GROUP AND THEREFORE SHOULD NOT HAVE AN OPINION. I am sure if girlfriend was feeling the way others are heaping their micro-aggressions and self-esteem issues attributed to her, she would not be taking the pictures at all. We can agree to disagree whether Lance Gross or any other person is responsible for others’ skewed views regarding their perception of… Read more »

La Bandita
La Bandita
3 years ago
Reply to  VoiceofReason

Lies!!! Dont blame dark skin girls. That’s no different then blaming Black people for racism. In my country a man will not spit your way if you’re not a certain shade. And if you’re beautiful and dark you better have success or money — then you too can get the Whitest man to give you babies. This ish us real and global.

Whitney
Whitney
3 years ago

Ok, so if everyone involved in the photo say its a joke, its probably a joke. Some people take things way too seriously, just looking for moments that do not concern them to use as their soapbox to express their own pain. This shouldn’t be one of them. Additionally, here in the comments, I hear a lot of comparison between the darker and fairer tone women in this photo from you ladies and I don’t think that is entirely fair. You cannot look at a fairer toned Black Woman and deem that she is less worthy of the “Black” label… Read more »

Haniplease
Haniplease
3 years ago
Reply to  Whitney

You’re not fair toned at all. And the fact that your pretending to be is interesting.….

VoiceofReason
VoiceofReason
3 years ago
Reply to  Haniplease

So, now you’re the tone police? Really? This has to be the saddest commentary ever from a group of women, just sad. The one thing that a person cannot control about themselves, something as basic as skin tone, has people all in an uproar. I’ve heard all variations of this stuff growing up that somehow my skin tone somehow overshadowed my ability in anything. I thought it stupid then and doubly dumb now. People are attracted to what they are attracted to and should have the autonomy to be attracted and date who they wish. What it says is that… Read more »

La Bandita
La Bandita
3 years ago
Reply to  VoiceofReason

She may not keep them, but they keep coming and she’s in her fifties. Some women cant get a man to not keep, ha!

VoiceofReason
VoiceofReason
3 years ago
Reply to  La Bandita

You act like 50 is old. I am 51 and you would never know. The black don’t crack trope is true, even for us light-skinned black but not black enough for some women.

La Bandita
La Bandita
3 years ago
Reply to  VoiceofReason

It’s not old pero its not young. She gets man after man — we can not deny her that.

La Bandita
La Bandita
3 years ago
Reply to  Haniplease

If her family is really dark, she could be light in that little circle, but just Brown in real life. Like I have light skin friends who think they’re dark because they’re mom can pass for White.

NIRA
NIRA
3 years ago
Reply to  Haniplease

Actually her picture does look fair toned. You jealous? Or are you just another dark skinned beautiful complexion black woman with a bitter rage to dislike a fair toned or lighter skinned beautiful black woman? Just stop it already.

Whitney
Whitney
3 years ago
Reply to  Haniplease

Once again, getting the conversation off the point, which is the funny christmas photo and not whom we deem what shade because we saw one profile pic.

Tee Johnson
Tee Johnson
3 years ago
Reply to  Whitney

Seriously.??????

Itumeleng
Itumeleng
3 years ago
Reply to  Whitney

You are NOT ‘fair-toned’ at all LOL you look more a medium brown, like Gabrielle Union LOL

trackback

[…] I first saw this picture posted HERE via Black Girl With Long Hair, I sort of brushed it […]

Sheniq Watson
Sheniq Watson
3 years ago

I’ve seen so many “strong black women” memes and crap talk on how black/darkskin women stay losing from color struck black men behind this picture. HAPPY HOLIDAYS!?

La Bandita
La Bandita
3 years ago

I’ve notice in certain industries of successful Black men if you’re not a certain shade you will not get a Black man. You WILL get a man in that industry, but not a Black man — its a racial law or something. I’m Brown and certain light and White really felt like I shouldn’t gotten my Black husband. Like I mean really let me know. So she was trying to make a joke at her own expense amongst friends. But reality rushed to the surface.

lis
lis
3 years ago
Reply to  La Bandita

Get a Black man.….like its some major achievement.…like a degree from Harvard or millions in the bank.…especially when they make it clear they do not feel the same about Black women.….I mean what have Black men done, especially compared to other races of men to be so revered by Black women?women so many of them delight in degrading and devaluing every chance they get.…smh.…what the hell has happened to Black women

La Bandita
La Bandita
3 years ago
Reply to  lis

Not every Black man is like this, but enough to have a discussion. Asian women are the same with getting a White man. 80% are with White men. No one is Blaming Asian men for the betrayal of Asian women. So you watch your blame game. Its not Black womens fault.

lis
lis
3 years ago
Reply to  La Bandita

.…..what?.…you obviously did not comprehend what i wrote.

Tamika DjMeek McGhee
Tamika DjMeek McGhee
3 years ago

Yes black people do come in all shades. Also, yes most black men prefer a light skinned woman, whether they wanna admit it or not. These men are very colorstruck. This photo is definitely a representation of that. But they’re not alone. That’s just the way shit is.

Tamika DjMeek McGhee
Tamika DjMeek McGhee
3 years ago

Maybe I’m just as bad. I don’t look twice at light skinned dudes. I like mine milk chocolate brown to almost black. Maybe I’m wrong too. If I am.…..SO. lol

Fair4theGander
Fair4theGander
3 years ago

me too girl love me some chocolate. I was taught the blacker the berry the sweeter the juice. and in my experience that sentiment has rung true most of my dating experience. I have looked twice at a couple light skinned dudes and that’s exactly what happened, they shaded (see what I did there) me one way or another. darn it now that I think about it, even the Asian one did me dirty too!
You gotta give it up for the melanin!

cth4GiG
cth4GiG
3 years ago

Give me double black

Jacque Michelle Golden-Raines
Jacque Michelle Golden-Raines
3 years ago

Things WE beautiful Black Women are not taking into 2017: 1) the opinions of ashy ass Black Men who don’t recognize our radiance 2) People denying that colorism and self-hatred is a thing.

Christian Fool
Christian Fool
3 years ago

Why call blk men ashy just because her stupid self decides to take this pic and embarrass you as a blk woman??

La Bandita
La Bandita
3 years ago
Reply to  Christian Fool

You fight Black women, but not White Supremacy? Interesting.

Raquel
Raquel
3 years ago

Jacque, fortunately my sister many of us have already started filing ‘Irrelevant’ on the Black men who sleep on the beauty that is US. We been woke. As for these fools in a slumber about racism and colorism, they have a President Elect that’s gonna give them a Welcome to Aryan Nation introduction real quick!

Lifeisgood!
Lifeisgood!
3 years ago

It’s almost 2017 and black women are still black male identified. How much more do black males need to joke on black women before black women wakeup? And this thing where black.women destroy our own image and fall into stereotypes willingly. Can someone explain ??

Sirius Black
Sirius Black
3 years ago
Reply to  Lifeisgood!

Love the gross over generalizations of black males. No qualifiers as some, etc. just ‘black males’. Hidden agenda anyone? Over 90 percent of married black men are married to black women. Colorism exists, all manner of isms. Its a two street. No one brings up that 80 percent of the men you generalize or raised by single black women. Not their fault. The break down of the black family is by design. On que, some of us are playing into systemic hands by blaming each other instead of seeking to heal with like-minded souls of the opposite gender.

Nikki S
Nikki S
3 years ago
Reply to  Sirius Black

Why do we need qualifiers? The fact that everybody who has an issue with anyone speaking on the obvious issues within the black community that are predominately black male affected speaks volumes. No, we are not talking about every and all black men. No one can ever definitively speak for ALL people no matter what the issue is. But the fact of the matter is that there is more than enough evidence to suggest that we are talking about more than a few. When people come into a discussion hung up over the omission of one word, highly suggests they… Read more »

Sirius Black
Sirius Black
3 years ago
Reply to  Nikki S

Black men do the same gross generalizations. But if you peel away the layers, its (the problems we all have within the community) by design. You don’t want to accept it because its easier to blame the co-victims. Before enslavement, generally speaking we didn’t behave that way to each other. Before the ’60s we didn’t this way anywhere close. This black gender war is a result of governmental policies that broke up the black familly. Created a government daddy for the kids in public housing, food stamps, etc. and created the prison industrial complex for the men. There is a… Read more »

Nikki S
Nikki S
3 years ago
Reply to  Sirius Black

Oh. And to bring up the single mother statistic is straight up nonsense that no one has substantiated or corroborated because it is b.s. All boys are highly influenced by other men and seek out male companionship that influences future behavior within their social environment. If their mothers influenced their behavior, you would find more black men #1 working, #2 obtaining higher education/job sets instead of dropping out, #3 working in social services instead of slinging drugs or entertaining pipe dreams of becoming rappers or ballers, #4 less likely to pass along infectious diseases, #5 in the home with their… Read more »

Sirius Black
Sirius Black
3 years ago
Reply to  Nikki S

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2014/12/18/the-unbelievable-rise-of-single-motherhood-in-america-over-the-last-50-years/ It shows that more than 70 percent of all black children today are born to an unmarried mom, a three-fold increase in that rate since the 1960s:

La Bandita
La Bandita
3 years ago
Reply to  Sirius Black

White Supremacy lies.

Eve
Eve
3 years ago
Reply to  Nikki S

Um no. Amongst ALL races boys growing up without a father have the most behaviorial issues and are most likely to end up in prison. It’s not that black boys are unique in this area it’s that far more of them are being raised by single moms then other races of boys whose parents are still getting married and raising them in a family unit. A woman cannot teach a boy how to be a man, also women working like they do is not really good for kids who need a primary caretaker/nurturer. The roles of a mother is very… Read more »

StraightShooter
StraightShooter
3 years ago
Reply to  Sirius Black

the statistics you’re using are for Older Black married couples.

Eve
Eve
3 years ago
Reply to  Sirius Black

Well Rachel Dolezal was “black” so that stat means nothing to me.

Eve
Eve
3 years ago
Reply to  Sirius Black

Black people cant heal becasue they are looking to outsiders to solve the problem. Too many black people are hung up on white people and what they are or arent doing while ignoring the major problems in their community. It will take a major overhaul in the attitudes and values of black people as a whole to restore the black community. Addressing colorism, texturism, and featurism are part of that. In fact I think a huge factor of single parenthood in the black community is black people not wanting to marry each other because of these “isms”, you’ll see black… Read more »

La Bandita
La Bandita
3 years ago
Reply to  Lifeisgood!

I like that ‘Black male Identified’. This is really true. It’s like a black girls version of the ‘Cool Girl’.

Christian Fool
Christian Fool
3 years ago

Message to the lone woman in this picture:

You are an embarrassed and a fool for thinking this was cute/and or funny. Please don’t do this again looking stupid.

Sincerely,

Your community.

Raquel
Raquel
3 years ago
Reply to  Christian Fool

I mean really? she may be sleep but this picture above with these Black men booed up with their light, bright damn near white significant others while she, who would not pass the paper bag test, sits isolated with no mate as if she isn’t worthy because she’s not the right shade is SCREAMING: “COLORISM!!!!”. Clearly she must feel privileged to be in their presence. Her trying to defend this photo is like the House slave trying to convince the field slave dat Massah ain’t that bad!

Samantha
Samantha
3 years ago
Reply to  Raquel

Post traumatic slave syndrome.

La Bandita
La Bandita
3 years ago
Reply to  Samantha

You should get treated quickly.

Elizabeth Miller
Elizabeth Miller
3 years ago

His friend, the dark skinned girl in the photo is feigning ignorance. She knows good and well what the issue is with this photo. Girl bye.

Raquel
Raquel
3 years ago

Exactly! girl you tried we didn’t buy.

Original Eve
Original Eve
3 years ago

Your right, she is feigning ignorance her body language expresses it all. Arms crossed, sitting apart, facial expression blank. Her body language says it all left out, left alone, not apart, and not feeling it.

If they were all good friends like she said she would have leaned in and embraced the group with or without a man. Body language says it all.

Darryl James
Darryl James
3 years ago

I’ll tell you what is very sad about this piece: Ignorant heffas calling names (so I did too–lol–see what I did there?) and having fake ass indignation at the same time. Those are BLACK WOMEN these men are with. What kind of medication is failing you to make you think that your poor self esteem and resulting psychosis has to be carried by everyone to the point where you want Black Men to hate on light skinned women? 42 million Black people and you crazy ass crows are all up in arms over a handful…sad and crazy. Your hate is… Read more »

maximilion
maximilion
3 years ago
Reply to  Darryl James

Really?..these women look mixed or another race to me,the picture just highlights the reality of whats really going on and its that black men choose to date other women over dark skinned women-whether the pic is a joke,many black-mostly dark skinned can relate to the single black female status.

Samantha
Samantha
3 years ago
Reply to  maximilion

I don’t see a problem with the Women. There is NOTHING wrong with Black Men dating light skinned Women. Wow. Colorism is just yet proof that post traumatic slave syndrome is real. That’s really sad!

Juju
Juju
3 years ago
Reply to  Darryl James

Crazy ass crows”…, I love it.

La Bandita
La Bandita
3 years ago
Reply to  Darryl James

Why aren’t you focus on police shootings?

Eve
Eve
3 years ago
Reply to  Darryl James

Um no. Don’t call any of those women black. Black is a phenotype and all these women look at least mixed the two on the ends look straight white or “Latina”. Sorry but NO white person would ever refer to the single woman on the far left as “white” not in a million years and why should they?–she clearly LOOKS black (and let’s be real she probably has some white ancestors too if she is Afro American or Carribean as almost no one is “purely” black on this side of the planet most blacks here are 10–15% white). You see… Read more »

Purple Sound
Purple Sound
3 years ago
Reply to  Eve

black people have diluted the word to include damn near everyone and their mom” PREACH! You still got some Black folks ready to fight you if you say Amber Rose isn’t Black, even though she’s repeatedly stated she doesn’t refer to herself as such. She is a mutt (not in a mean way) and probably has the same percentage of Black ancestry as Blacks who have White ancestry.

justtwo post
justtwo post
3 years ago
Reply to  Eve

Exactly. These people are so annoying. I’m over it.

FeeFee
FeeFee
3 years ago
Reply to  Eve

PREACH!!!!

CeeCee77
CeeCee77
3 years ago

So the joke is that she’s alone, not that she’s alone because she’s dark? Ok, I get it. Still not funny, but I get it.

Eve
Eve
3 years ago
Reply to  CeeCee77

Lol

Me2
Me2
3 years ago

If she wanted to sit in this picture and look crazy, that’s her. But we are worried about the wrong thing.…why black men don’t like dark skinned women. Like yourself and the rest will follow. (“Love yourself or nobody will.”)

Samantha
Samantha
3 years ago
Reply to  Me2

She’s really not dark.

LaToya Sheppard
LaToya Sheppard
3 years ago

I saw this photo a couple days ago and the only thing that crossed my mind was “aww she’s that one friend who’s always single. Lol” I didnt even notice Lance Gross.

Fair4theGander
Fair4theGander
3 years ago

Imma be honest with y’all… this was my thought process: uhkay, lemme look at this photo… when I looked at the picture: 1. Why does it look like Lance’s hand is in her crotch?… 2. Oh wow, they all have matching pajamas! 3. Ohh woww… does every body really do the whole matching pajama thing on Christmas? Mmmaybe we should start with the pajama thingy too… 4. Oh wait, the couple on the end isn’t exactly matching… maybe they’re a new couple or not that serious yet or having problems but showed up anyway. Lol. 5. Aww, where is her man?… Read more »

AJ Thomas
AJ Thomas
3 years ago
Reply to  Fair4theGander

LOL, this was my thought process as well except I didn’t know it was Lance Gross.

Purple Sound
Purple Sound
3 years ago
Reply to  Fair4theGander

LMAO at your observations! But about #5: don’t all cameras have a timer. He could set the timer and sprinted off to cuddle with his boo. According to her and Lance, this is running joke and year after year, they take pics like this during their yearly Xmas excursion coupled up while she’s off to the side like an afterthought. But hey if she likes it, I love it.

Melissa McLean Joyner
Melissa McLean Joyner
3 years ago
Reply to  Fair4theGander

Exactly!! I agree with all your funny observations, too! I saw the headline and decided to look at the photo to see what the fuss was. When I looked at it, my first thought was she is the odd man out hence her facial expression. I mean really! Why find fault where there is none? And with that, folks are making all kinds of assumptions about this woman’s self-esteem, her friends’ motives, etc. Just too much!

Samantha
Samantha
3 years ago

Really? People need to get over themselves quick! Black people always want to look at what they think is negative. The people that complained aren’t comfortable in their own skin. They need therapy quickly!

La Bandita
La Bandita
3 years ago
Reply to  Samantha

And the people that pretend it doesnt exist? Need therapy quickly!!!

Joykaren
Joykaren
3 years ago

yes, let’s all just ignore reality and keep on pretending. don’t care if those very, very light woman are actually black women, it’s noteworthy that those black men CHOSE them first and foremost. but let’s pretend that any kind of colorism is just not real. and that black en are breaking down doors to get to dark skinned women.

lecia p
lecia p
3 years ago

The pic was jarring at first til I reminded myself that this nothing new. The pattern isn’t new. Many of our successful black men in entertainment and sports end up with white and mixed race /damn near white women and I’ve learned to not even blink… I note that successful black men outside of entertainment & sports marry blk women of all shades.Same for everyday blue collar blk men, I see all shades. But it seems when they are public figures with money..they marry women that are mixed or white. I know colorism is real. I won’t waste my breath trying to… Read more »

Purple Sound
Purple Sound
3 years ago
Reply to  lecia p

They think that money=acceptance when it comes to Whites in Hollywood when 9 times out of 10 they’re merely seen as dollar signs and never as equals. Then Blacks start seeing the colour green instead of their beautiful melanated skin and start peddling that “Racism doesn’t exist anymore” mess.

Princesca
Princesca
3 years ago
Reply to  Purple Sound

Weren’t you just praising Serena Williams for getting a white man?
Love is beautiful regardless of race.

Purple Sound
Purple Sound
3 years ago
Reply to  Princesca

I wasn’t praising her for that. I was praising her because I’m happy that she got her career on point and built an empire before deciding to get married and settle down. I would never spout that “White men are better” B.S. because that would be an insult to my father, brothers, boss, and best friend, who are the definition strong Black men in my eyes. Where did I say anything like “Congrats to Serena for finally wising up and getting a White man and leaving these pathetic Black men alone.” You misread my comment. Eh whatever.

La Bandita
La Bandita
3 years ago
Reply to  lecia p

All of their money goes back to White girls family and that Black man becomes social like a eunuch. So its a win, win.

Eve
Eve
3 years ago

This is what annoys me about black people who sit up there all day talking about “the white man” with their BLM movement and whatnot while refusing to acknowledge things like colorism in their own community or down playing it. Sorry but you don’t get to ask white people go clean up their act while you live in filth. The colorism is so obvious among blacks that it is legit sad at this point if we don’t love our blackness as in our black skin, hair, and features (as there is an “ism” concerning all three) how are we gonna… Read more »

La Bandita
La Bandita
3 years ago
Reply to  Eve

White racism is the REAL filth. Colorism is just her ugly step sister.

TT
TT
3 years ago
Reply to  Eve

Where did colorism come from?

Eve
Eve
3 years ago
Reply to  TT

Black people because no one can make you hate yourself.

FeeFee
FeeFee
3 years ago
Reply to  Eve

Sweetheart you are lost. Colorism did not start with black people–read a damn book about its origin, we just perpetuate it. And yes, you can be taught to hate yourself–that is basic spychology 101–take a course. And your black people don’t deserve respect from anyone else because of our own internal issues is what’s called respectability politics–look it up!

You are so damn lost it’s not even funny. I can not stand the level of ignorance you just typed here.

La Bandita
La Bandita
3 years ago
Reply to  Eve

White Supremacy is global. In every nation the light & bright are at the top oppressing the darker people in their countries. Asisa, Middle East, South America. Kim K’s dad is considered White in the Middle East. White Cubans are like the Klan. And Hispanics who can pass quickly checked White.

Your anti Black retoric dies in 2017. Go do what you do best and drool over Whiteness.

justtwo post
justtwo post
3 years ago
Reply to  Eve

Who’s expecting other races to “love our blackness?” It’s not like I love whiteness, or like I need to in order to treat people with respect. LAST I CHECKED, WE WERE ASKING FOR BASIC HUMAN RESPECT, NOT LOVE. Are you confused?

Eve
Eve
3 years ago
Reply to  justtwo post

Now you want to get me on some technicality? Black people in general have no right to demand “respect” or anything for blackness when they are guilty of colorism, texturism, featurism etc… we don’t even like ourselves but want respect from others?

justtwo post
justtwo post
3 years ago
Reply to  Eve

No girl. Just no. I’m blocking you now.

Kehinde
Kehinde
3 years ago
Reply to  Eve

You sound like you have a problem with blackness. Poor thing. Buy a cookie

Elaine Hunter
Elaine Hunter
3 years ago

I wonder what’s going to happen Christmas time next year? Hey Lance, are you going to take the same picture next year when you and the fellas “upgrade” to white women? Just wondering. Like Michael Jordan, Eddie Murphy, and Jamie Foxx, that does seems to be the pattern with black men these days (I mean decades).

Lolalao
Lolalao
3 years ago
Reply to  Elaine Hunter

Eddie Murphy got with because she’ll never reveal his well known secret.

Purple Sound
Purple Sound
3 years ago

1.) So this woman has been the butt of a running joke for years and is okay with it? She’s even defending the perpetrator of the joke. SMFH. 2.) She allegedly has a man. If so, he’s foul for not defending the attacks against his woman. 3.) I still think this was taken out of context. On the positive side, it shows how powerful a picture is and strongly people are affected by it, whether it’s in a good or bad way. On the negative side, it is proof that intra-racism is alive and well within the Black community. And also that… Read more »

La Bandita
La Bandita
3 years ago

You sound like you’re dating a Black self hating man — just shut up. Africans have a 95% marriage rate. Afro Latinxs 87%, Afro Caribe 86% — you’re spreading lies.

Eve
Eve
3 years ago
Reply to  La Bandita

Marriage rates and single parent rates are TWO different things. Seeing as divorce rates are high those stats mean little. AT any given time only about 32% of black people are married and 75% of black children are born to single moms, with about 60% being raised by single moms at any given time so yea what I am talking about is an issue that should not be washed over with misleading stats.

La Bandita
La Bandita
3 years ago
Reply to  Eve

Ooooh after spreading lies NOW you’re trying to make a distinction? Africans with a 95% marriage rate aren’t Black? Afro Latinxs that put Black Hispanic with their 87% rate and Afro Caribe with their 86% are Black. European Blacks have 60% which is better then American Whites.

You throw around stats NOT to help but to racially brow beat. Go help Whites stop being terrible people. 90% of racist Whites come from two parent home. Fix that.

CoCoTy
CoCoTy
3 years ago

If you look at all of the pics they posted, the men switch women with every picture. In Some of the pictures, the darker skinned woman is sitting with a different man. I also noticed the same thing, until I looked on Lance’s instagram and noticed ALL of the pictures. So, that being said, it is her choice if she is the one that has initiated this tradition over the years. I do feel it was a little jacked up for just this pic to float around and not ALL of the pics showing all of the variations. I think… Read more »

VoiceofReason
VoiceofReason
3 years ago

I am not blaming dark skin anything and it is obvious you did not get what I was saying. The assumption is that men are solely choosing women based on skin-tone and that based on what you see in your limited world view and what the media portrays that lighter is better and so, that it is constantly reiterated to those not light that somehow they are not good enough. Someone took a photo and created a whole alternate narrative not based on any of the photo subjects’ reality. It is not the men that are saying this, it is… Read more »

La Bandita
La Bandita
3 years ago
Reply to  VoiceofReason

Your limited view is the problem. White Supremacy is global. Everyone is trying to produce their lightest and brightest. Beautiful slim dark skin women will always be married up very quickly. And others will struggle against unattractive fat light skin women.

VoiceofReason
VoiceofReason
3 years ago

Well, grown, mature men soon realize that they need a woman of substance. The media does play a part in what is considered desirable but a lot is know that media is the biggest con out there. It’s role is to make you spend money. So yes, there are these extremes photoshopped beauties floating around that people wish they looked like when the models do not look like their photos naturally. It is a con game. And, the best adornment a woman can have that real men appreciate is confidence and self-esteem.

fluffi3
fluffi3
3 years ago
Reply to  VoiceofReason

true.

cth4GiG
cth4GiG
3 years ago
Reply to  VoiceofReason

Now you are speaking

Guest
Guest
3 years ago

Katy so true, seems like some blk men think that darker women dont need love.

Insidious Endarkment
Insidious Endarkment
3 years ago
Shalah
Shalah
3 years ago

Just saying if that picture was all white guys with black women this would most likely be a different discussion. For instance there is a post on BGLH congratulating Serena for being engaged and her fiancé happens to be white, but in that post it’s all happiness and exclamation points. People take things too seriously. This picture could go a number of ways but too many people choose to take it the wrong way. I’m a black woman married to a white man and my first thought was not about color it was “aww that girl needs a man!”.

sweetli30
sweetli30
3 years ago
Reply to  Shalah

That’s problematic too. She needs a man? Does she really?

I think what require deeper investigation is why all of these brothers are with light-skinned women. And this is nothing against lighter women. I was raised by one, but quite frankly this is what my family looks like with the exception of my brother who is married to a brown skinned woman. Every other male on both sides of my family are now with white or non-black women. And it just seems like too much of a coincidence to be a coincidence.

Tish Jackson
Tish Jackson
3 years ago

ok i saw this pic last week but didnt read the story. heck i didnt even know that was lance gross! when i saw it, i was upset–that they left old girl looking all lonely. Now that i read her response, i can see it was a joke, becuz dang that was rude lol. If there was one person w/o a partner, then you dont take partner pics! but as militarily Black as i am lol, it never occurred to me to be upset about the color thing. Never even registered that she was brown and by herself. heck lance… Read more »

TinyTim
TinyTim
3 years ago

Where exactly is your country? And didn’t you just say that thin beautiful black women get married faster than fat light skinned women? Doesn’t that contradict your whole point that black men prefer lighter women??

La Bandita
La Bandita
3 years ago
Reply to  TinyTim

No it doesn’t, because Beauty always trumps everything.

cth4GiG
cth4GiG
3 years ago

Yep. Again skin tone is not the blame. It’s all in the mind.

katy White
katy White
3 years ago

Looking at the pictures I notice that all the women are light in complexion! One of the women is whiite bi-racial looking. Yes, the darker women stands out! But, I noticed that the Black men have white or light complexion women! What does that tell you about Black men? Colorism is alive and well even in 2017

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