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Misogyny is a casual and common affair in black culture. At least once a week, a black woman’s image is turned into a meme whereby she and all black women are shamed for one reason or another. Our images are co-opted to make the central point many black men seem bent on making — we ain’t shit, whether because we’re too dark, or too kinky-haired, or too hood, or too bougie, or too educated, or not educated enough. This week, rapper Big Boi jumped into the fray by tweeting this image:
The implication being that Esther Rolle’s fictional character, Florida Evans from the 70s sitcom, Good Times, represents the good ol’ days of mothering, while the unidentified woman in a thong represents the kind of mothering happening today. No doubt if we all covered up and taught our daughters how to cook and clean all would be right in the world. Fathers, of course, have no responsibility in the rearing of children.
Thankfully, our Feminista Jones, who we have dubbed this week’s Queen of the Clapback was primed and ready with these examples to refute Big Boi’s assertions. And it is worth noting that the stories and images she shared are common among black women, although the same black men thirsty to tweet out a black-woman-shaming meme choose to ignore them.
.@BigBoi pic.twitter.com/zCx3iBymWC
— Yo Mama and Yo Cousin Too (@FeministaJones) May 30, 2016
.@BigBoi As a musician, I'm sure you know Catherine Hughes, founder of Radio One, had her 1st child at 16 pic.twitter.com/QPa7QGPT8J
— Yo Mama and Yo Cousin Too (@FeministaJones) May 30, 2016
https://twitter.com/BridgetMarie/status/737296466964664320
.@BigBoi Shashicka Tyree-Hill Pregnant at 15, dropped out of H.S., now owns a business and has a net worth of $7M pic.twitter.com/yJkB0iE8hd
— Yo Mama and Yo Cousin Too (@FeministaJones) May 30, 2016
.@BigBoi And Maya Angelou, former exotic dancer and sex worker, had 1st at 17, and well… you know the rest pic.twitter.com/XPvCtvSngb
— Yo Mama and Yo Cousin Too (@FeministaJones) May 30, 2016
.@FeministaJones @BigBoi pic.twitter.com/APxyngZCNJ
— NaturalCurlyHair (@HaloOnMyAfro) May 30, 2016
And then she broke down the INTENSE hypocrisy of black men blaming black women for endangering black children.
I could post no less than 20 articles about Black men killing the mothers of their children in the last 3 years alone. But why?
— Yo Mama and Yo Cousin Too (@FeministaJones) May 30, 2016
Aren’t we all just sick of the same old tired rhetoric being thrown around about black women? We are fierce and fabulous beings, and black men need to ask themselves why they choose to ignore that in favor of pushing a black-woman-hating and, ultimately, self-hating narrative.
Made and packaged by hand
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The reason why black men do this to black women is the same reason they kill each other en mass in Chicago. Black men project their self-hatred –Killing each other, Selling drugs, Leaving Baby mama in and outside of the BC and ect, while Black women internaiized it–European weaves down our backs, Skin bleaching and surgery–ie. Lil’ Kim, and letting our body be used by our men–OOW birth rate and rampant STD. We are a damaged people. A group of people that value themselves do not engage in these tactics–BM bashing BW and vice versa. The reason why BM do… Read more »
I see what you’re trying to say, but you are still engaged in respectability politics. There also, is no need to mention Lil’ Kim. Also, if women want to wear hair weaves what’s the problem. Plenty of people have surgery, and much of it has nothing to do with imitating another race. Birth rates for our community is actually on the decline.
We are not damaged, we are resilient.
I wasn’t trying to state that all black women that wear weaves do it for the same reason, but we can’t ignore that there’s a demographic in our community that hate their natural hair, skin, and features and idolize anything that’s the opposite. That to me this is a form of self-hate. Maybe I should have been more clearer about that, but we know these black women in our community exist. I used Lil’ Kim as an example–even with her fame, money, success, she still destroyed herself due to this self-hatred. There’s no way you can ignore that this might… Read more »
You’re definitely right! And even when BW value ourselves and each other, BM always feel the need to be lurking around the corner to bring us down by promoting colourism and nonsense like this. Then still expect BW to stand up for them.
And that is why outside of the men in my family and my best friend, I pay them dust.
Exactly. And this is completely off topic, but I’m also Dominican too and I got so excited when I saw your pic lol. DA stand up!
This is a really insightful comment – the different ways self-hate impacts men and women in the Black community, I never thought of it that way before, but it rings true. I’ve been thinking about this ever since I read it. Thanks.
I put this in the “if it don’t apply to you why you mad?” category. Not for nothing, today’s society does tend to put a premium on rachetness way moreso than it did back in Florida Evans’ day–and some mothers follow suit, just like some fathers do. But any sensible person knows that not all fall into that category (nor did I get from Big Boi’s post that he was implying all). So I don’t pay this one no mind.
Is anyone surprised? Black men have been spewing hate for black women and making millions off of it. It is called rap music. They are ignorant and let them stay in the dark, while the rest of us are shinning.
Maaaan…I wish I would waste my time responding to any Black man about anything……Who are these negros that Black women have to show their credentials, so to speak…..SUCKS TEETH! The nerve!….With their reps and place in this world…..YOU ALL BETTER LOOK UP BRUEKLEN BLEU ON YOUTUBE AND GET YOUR LIVES.
I love her! She’s like my dark wisdom godmother! Her and Chrytelyn have motivated me to not even bother with these degenerates.
Black men continue to point fingers at black women but ignore their own problems. How can we keep ignoring that Black men are at the top of the list for being the worst dead beat fathers.Walk around and ask as a many black kids today if their father lives with them and is apart of their lives. The answers shouldnt surprise you.
but that list doesn’t exist? black men are statistically among the most involved fathers.
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/08/opinion/charles-blow-black-dads-are-doing-the-best-of-all.html?_r=0
this stereotype is internalized racism, and it’s also perpetuated on black women, when we’re the most educated race in America.
http://www.salon.com/2016/06/02/black_women_are_now_the_most_educated_group_in_the_united_states/
“black men are statistically among the most involved fathers. “–The most involved is different than living within the household. I agree that these stats only skim the surface and do not give a full picture for the circumstances for the conditions in the black community, but we can’t ignore the fact that too many BM are dead beat dads, and too many black household are single mom households.
See, my thing with the whole “black men are statistically the most involved fathers . . .” is, well, if that’s truly the case, then that makes it a lot harder to blame the ills of the black family and child rearing on single mothers. How can the problems of the black community be mainly the fault of single motherhood, if “black fathers are the most involved”?
Lies.
Early last year I saw this old man ( look like he was in his 80’s with the saggy pants, you know where the men don’t’ wear belts and you can see their underwear. Needless to say. I couldn’t believe it, and he could hardly walk, he was just shuffling along. My mother is in her 70’s and he was older than her. I am not lying. We both didn’t know what to say for we had never seen anything like it before.
Happy to see that someone put him in his place. Black men are always concerned with the behavior of Black women. They should first concern themselves with their own behavior. Soon Black women in America will be the largest educated demographic. We have been holding it together.
“They should first concern themselves with their own behavior. “–Because a lot of black men are afraid to look at themselves. This is why most of these meme attack black women, but rarely black men. There’s a whole demographic of black men on youtube who make money doing this. Black men who do this are using black women as a scapgoat for their demographics failures. Black women do not have that option, which in a way fuels black women. This might explain the gap with attaining an education in the black community. When you’re on the bottom, there’s no where… Read more »
Feminista and this article completely missed the point. He wasn’t saying you had to be and dress like Florida Evans, he was saying you DO have to put teaching children above everything and everyone else and extremely few do that. He was right
The meme was self-serving. Most people with a modecum of sense already know this. Offer solutions, recourses, alternatives for the ones that don’t. If he’s not offering anything along that line when it comes to this already well known issue, these memes become nothing more than self-serving.
You and him are both wrong. The statistics doesn’t even collaborate your statement. Irresponsible mothers are not the majority. If that is your reality then state that then upgrade your circle.
“extremely few do that”?? Really?? Seriously?! Remind me not go anywhere near where you live/work/play, clearly it’s a garbage neighborhood with garbage parents if EXTREMELY FEW mothers wear clothing and refrain from taking weird selfies.
Can he tell men to be in the lives of his children first?
Thank you for sharing the accomplishments of these inspirational women.
Where did he reference teenage moms in his post??? Where did he say anything about black moms not being able to achieve success? He made a post about the image, the lack of maternal responsibility, the lack of of discretion (that woman is CLEARLY behaving inappropriately in front of her child and her actions are clearly not suitable for children). It seems to me that noone could reasonably defend the fuckery and foolishness in the post, so instead that was ignored all together and the discussion turned into something else. People are responding to a post about black teenage moms… Read more »
The problem with the image is that he does not know if that was the child’s mother. It’s just a random women and a child. The same with Florida Evans–a TV sitcom mom, which doesn’t represent real day to day life. And we already know about the issues of bad parenting plaguing the black community, so he’s beating a dead horse. This is the equivalent of fat shaming. People who do these memes are not doing if for altruistic purposes, they are doing it for bombastic purposes to boost their own ego–“It’s the see I’m not like these people, I’m… Read more »
The problem lies in the fact that he made a blanket
statement about “mothers today.” Every one who is or knows a responsible mother should be offended.
Did “he” make a blanket statement about mothers today or did he tweet a preexisting meme that he thought was “funny”?
What about the men who these women had kids with? When is he going to post their pictures???? -sips-
Unfortunately, people will see what they have been told see by someone else. Too many people are like sheep.
What’s funny and unsurprising, is the many black men who promote respectability among black women, but see no issue in laying down with the woman on the right.. He sees no issue with his rapper brethren having 5-10 children out of wedlock while rapping about disrespecting black women.. It’s okay for black men to raise themselves up from previously selling drugs that poison a community. But if a woman even takes her clothes off, even to provide she can never redeem themselves. EVER.
THIS. It’s like the hoteps who try to preach about black people sticking together, but they’re the same ones that only date white/mixed girls. So hypocritical.
but where are the pictures of the black men having kids with these so-called irresponsible black moms tho??? Is Big Boi going to post the pics of these men or…
Black men stay posting memes shaming us like the wind blows. I’m just so sick of them projecting their minority complex, self-hate issues onto us and *trying* to make us feel like we’re less-than and not worthy of love. They can stay aboard that sinking ship themselves. I’ll be over here chilling. #BlackGirlMagic SN: does Big Boi not have like 3 children with a Black women he dated for years. She was good enough to birth his children, but not good enough to marry, huh? Does he not know that by posting this, he’s including her? What does that say… Read more »
him AND his children….a damn fool
I think he married her but then went on to have a whole a$$ baby with another woman……while he was still married.
i’m confused. y would he even post stuff like this?
he knows he is up in the club throwing money at those strippers. he should have several seats.
was thinking the same thing, some hypocrite.
Funny thing. I happened to see this site up, because my wife checks it out for the natural hair topics and occasionally other things. I’m a father of four, married, and I fell asleep doing some graduate studies, wake up and happen to click on this link to see what all the fuss was about. First of all, Big Boi didn’t really create this meme…I’ve seen it posted on Facebook many times without so much as a peep from females when another female does it nor a male. It’s interesting how this somehow starts a war because Big Boi is… Read more »
Merci you just typed a whole bunch of nothing. Men of all races pay child support but black men are the ones who bitch and moan the most about it, like taking care of your kids is too much.
Bye and focus on your four children. If you have daughters, know that they’ll encounter the men whose behavior you try to explain.
Those same black men would fuck them “bitches” get her pregnant and leave. SMFH
People are dismissing Big Boi because he is regarded as unqualified to take such a position. I don’t mean to dismiss Feminista Jones. Some people make it – in spite of some incredibly unfair odds – because they have what it takes to succeed. In Donny Hathaway’s song, Someday We’ll All Be Free, he tells the listener to never lose their self-respect. What I see going on, and Big Boi noticed it too, social media encourages some people to lose their self-respect and their dignity. Yes, there are those that don’t need to appease others. Those are the ones that… Read more »
If Big Boi had describe his lifestyle and they say he has an outside child on his wife…. how would he describe his cheating ways?
Why is anyone giving that big-fat-no-more-hits-without-Andre 3000-fool the time of day? He is clearly now at the point where he will post, say, do anything to make a comeback! Ignore and move on folks!
Elitist America as you know never liked blacks around after they were slaves. So, how to get rid of you? Divide and conquer. Encourage you to mix into other races and then eventually disappear. Make sure the male and female of the race despise each other so much they do this most willingly. Looks like the plan is working, eh?
Your response to me is a generalized stereotype which goes against everything my brother is dealing with in court: a deceptive mother who got assistance to rip-off assistance programs and now my brother is paying for it, her own daughter is crying and telling her grandmother they don’t have enough food in the house but the courts still side with her for full custody and child support, she’s pregnant now BY ANOTHER MAN and my brother, according to another female friend who worked in Child support and her experience, may have to pay extra to help his baby mama support… Read more »
Just like to say my brother has been threw it as well, however never has it skewed his view of all black….because to do so would be ridiculous
I did not say it skewed the view of all black (not sure what your dots indicate, but I will assume women), but many of the women replying to this article did so in a superficial generalized way. When men are generalized and stereotyped, seems to be okay, but when the ills women do are exposed, oh now that’s somehow wrong?
He is the last one to judge Anyone. He is a habitual Cheater. He had a baby and who knows how many abortions while married. He needs viagra to function sexually and and is bipolar. He instigates fights between ppl on his team for amusement. He is immature and irrelevant! And I believe he did have make pics of 3000 in His phone. A lot of ppl in the music industry are gay. I know 1st hand unfortunately…smdh
Women need to keep ignoring this foolishness and keep making moves. No one is going to save us, we need to save ourselves. They will stay bitter lonely and ignorant.
a bunch of bitter black women. Why do you attract the kind of men that you do? What makes you so appealing to the kind of black men that you hate so much? This is for all of you bitter women
So you missed the entire point of this post.
James and Florida were married and had a family. But where are half the fathers in today’s situations? They bear no responsibility for how the kids turn out at all, huh? Meanwhile, how’s he handling co-parenting the outside child he had on his wife? I mean, he REALLY needs to sweep around his own front door.
Okay!!!! Preach the truth! Didn’t know Big Boi had an outside child??!!! So sad! HIV rate in Atlanta is sky high and dudes still tempting fate!
Awesome feminista
Black males just barely take care of their children, then expect a standing ovation when they do. They’d be the first person to make a baby with the woman in the right picture, then call her a trifling thot when she took them to court for child support. Perhaps degrading us makes them imagine they are more of a “man”, which they haven’t been since they bent over for white men during slavery.