NBA player Nick Young was recently caught on video admitting to cheating on his fiancée, rapper Iggy Azalea. One of the women he allegedly cheated with is a black woman named Britt. The mother of Young’s son from a relationship prior to Iggy is also a black woman. This got me thinking — What is it with black men who like black women behind closed doors but propose to and marry women of another race? Why do some black men not want to claim black women publicly? Though I really don’t know whether Nick Young is one of these fellows, this situation is enough of an observation in our community that it warrants a discussion.
Photo of Nick Young and his fiancée, Iggy Azalea:
Nick Young and Iggy Azalea. Source: https://www.instagram.com/thenewclassic/
Photos of Nick Young’s ex and baby’s mother, Keonna Green:
Keonna Green (the mother of Nick Young’s son). Source: https://www.instagram.com/keonnanecole/
Keonna Green (the mother of Nick Young’s son). Source: https://www.instagram.com/keonnanecole/
Photo of Britt, who says she has been seeing Nick for the past two years:
Britt (says she has been seeing Nick Young for the past two years). Source: https://www.instagram.com/itsbrittbiotch/
Artist Nate Hill, who built a satirical project “Trophy Scarves” based on white women, shed some light back in 2013:
There are people who see certain races as status symbols. — Daily News
Artist Nate Hill and his satirical “Trophy Scarves.” Source: Daily News
For some black men, marrying a white woman is just that — a status symbol. For them, it may signify taking something from the white man, or even, rising to the level of the white man. They may still be sexually attracted to the black woman, and keep her on the side, but it is the white woman that they marry. Perhaps, this phenomenon is rooted in slavery, which has done great damage to the black male-female relationship.
The most enduring and damning legacy of slavery is that it changed the natural order of Black male and female relationships from the way they were originally formed in Africa. Before African men and women were brought to America as slaves, … [the African man] courted his wife-to-be, families lived together in villages, and women were revered and honored as precious jewels, helpmates, and partners… All that changed during the course of slavery. The black man was rendered powerless to protect, provide for, and uplift his female counterpart … He was lost, stripped of his masculinity, which was held in high esteem and made him honorable in African culture. — “Black Woman Redefined: Dispelling Myths and Discovering Fulfillment in the Age of Michelle Obama”, Sophia A. Nelson, p.45
At the same time, black women went through their own form of devaluation:
Our value as women was crushed from the moment we became sexual objects on those slave ships and later in the dark, dank corners of southern plantations … Slavery dehumanized black women by robbing them of the ability to fulfill their most basic emotional needs. — “Black Woman Redefined: Dispelling Myths and Discovering Fulfillment in the Age of Michelle Obama”, Sophia A. Nelson, p.40
So how can the black woman possibly be a “trophy” after all of this? Or how can the black man best get back at the white man for “stripping him of his masculinity”?
Alternatively, author Janks Morton believes that some black men turn to white women as “an escape from the perceived control that black women have over their lives.”
The primary authority figure in our community is black women, and this dates back to slavery. And to be frank, it is a double-edged sword … more black women have been primarily responsible for the socialization and rearing of our young black children, particularly our black male children [p. 47] … Black men on one level love their mothers, don’t get me wrong, but they are also very conflicted about the emasculation of black men around them growing up, and the strength that black women must exert in the family to keep it together [p. 99]. — “Black Woman Redefined: Dispelling Myths and Discovering Fulfillment in the Age of Michelle Obama”, Sophia A. Nelson
What are your thoughts? Why do you think some black men refuse to claim black women in public? Share below!
*Big sigh* I’m sorry but I’m over it. I’m over the “Black men this, Black men that. I feel like this is just another article blaming their problems on us as Black/Afro-descended women.
You better PREACH.
EXACTLY!
Hmmmm elaborate.
What I mean is, there’s article after article on here and Madame Noire stating that Black men run to non-Black women because we’re too loud, aggressive, ratchet, etc. Apparently, we “emasculate” them so they run to White or Asian women because they want to feel like they have some semblance of control over their woman or whatever.. The blame for a Black man’s actions seems to always make its way back to us. Even though we were Black Panthers with them, started BLM for them, and come to their defence when the media tears them down. Whether it’s his mum,… Read more »
Gosh… Such a loaded conversation.
One thing I noticed from one of my male siblings, cousins, friends etc. They have all at some point dated a certain type of white woman. One they can play and get over on. They know damn well that a black woman will put them in their place if they fuck around. So they dated these really naive, tolerant white women that they would just walk all over. I think that streams from the above point made about how black men want to step away from the matriarchal family structure.
But the same Naive white women have also been known to sleep with their friends. Some black males share them.
Yes, it’s happened to a few BM I know. Some of them got totally turned of WM.
So the problem is, we don’t “let” them be men. Ridiculous. Do you ever get the feeling that masculinity is a terribly fragile thing, hanging on by a feeble little thread?
Tell it sister! Masculinity is so weak. Women have been made second-class citizens in the whole world thanks to patriarchy, and we are still incredibly strong and resilient. It is the male ego which is so weak that it needs to dehumanize every being around it in order to thrive.
Yyaaaassss! Now this!! Tell’em girl
i agree. it seems just about everything breaks a man down. how exactly are they the stronger sex? - black women stick around when things get tough — black women raise the children AND love them, even at their worst — black women are the most highly educated and driven academically (across all races) — black women read the most (across all races) — black women are leaders in their communities black men need to catch up instead of demanding that black women make themselves smaller so they can feel bigger. IMAGINE how unstoppable we would be if black men acted to their true,… Read more »
I think Black men see Black women like the rest of the world. Unfortunately, that is as a downgrade. It’s also, unfortunate because this is an idea that Black reinforce to their Black daughters. I loved reading this article.
You know this how?.….I do agree that Black men devalue Black women but how do you know the whole rest of the world feel the same?.…..and I feel for you if you feel the same as a Black woman.…because I don’t feel that way about myself as a young Black woman.…and I know many other Black women don’t either. .….so as a Black woman why even write that and put it out there even if you do feel that way.
Did you see the very first two words of my comment? “I think”. That means it is an opinion.
Sweet heart.… You try traveling the world baby doll! lolol. The world doesn’t devalue us like black males do. As a matter of fact, they find you quite endearing. You have been told a lie that no other kind of man wants you. That is faaaaaarr from the truth. Black males tell you that so can keep you as their concubines while they go and make marriage contracts with women of “other kingdoms.” Save some money and go travel. BTW check out some youtube videos of white, asian, hispanic and I even seen an arab man stating they enjoy and… Read more »
Yup.….THANK YOU.…This is propaganda to keep Black women scared, ride or die mules for Black males…
Great article. They are both idiots and they deserve each other.
Because they’re stupid..
Not every black man is stupid
Thanks for standing up for the black man. You are real
Plenty of black men claim black women, and some white men claim black women just like black men claim white women, so this article is irrelevant to me. NEXT!!
Agree 100% Men of all races check me including black men.
i feel like it should be changed to black american men/women. this isn’t a problem in Africa, especially Nigeria where i’m from. i hate the way people try to make it seem like its a problem for all black people. even in america there are wayyyyyyy MORE black men married to black women than there are black men who strictly marry outside their race so why are we focusing on the irrelevant minority?
REALLY? Because I have African family members and according to some of the ladies one of the first things African men do in Europe is get a White woman.…The only reason more don’t is because of their mothers(lol) and if they are in Africa not too many White women, right?
the only reason they do that is for residency papers. 90% of the ALWAYS have a wife and children back home on Africa and they once they get residency papers they divorce the white woman and bring their entire family to live with them. i met a guy like that on a flight from Nigeria to houston. he had a ‘wife’ in Germany for 5 years and he just got his papers and was in the process of filing the divorce to go back to Nigeria and look for a proper wife to marry. i do not personally know a… Read more »
Hmmm.…ok
i met one… he used to go to my church… lol. let’s just say his mother doesnt knowledge his existence.…. and she’s the deaconess of the church. Shoutout to church hypocrisy.
This site is American based, so if it don’t apply let it fly.
For real!
we don’t have enough men. most of us are unmarried. that’s why.
This blog used to be awesome, with lots of uplifting and inspirational photos and articles about black women and their hair… and now it’s this “boohoo why black men don’t want us?” bs. You all won’t get back your lost readership with these obviously clickbaity trash postings. This particular man is trash, he is dishonest and selfish. stringing along two (or more) women for years at a time. He is no prize. Black men who don’t or won’t affirmatively love and support black women in public are also no prize, so it is of no consequence to us why they… Read more »
Although I agree, you can’t deny that it seems to get the most views and comments so i’m guessing BGLH are doing it from a business ‘perspective’. What I’ve realised is when I see articles that you ask for, not that many people share or comment on it even though they seem very interesting but on articles like these, it gets a lot of response.
BGLH stated some time ago that the blog was going to a different direction…to view inspirational hair photos, please go to another hair blog…thank you and be blessed
YAAAAASSSSS every other day there’s another article blaming us for Black men’s problems because apparently, they can’t take responsibility for themselves.. Who exactly are these women craving Black men’s approval as validation of their worth so badly? I know d@mn well it’s not me!
Who cares what Black men do.…The real interesting point for me is why would these Black women continue to see Nick young after he went public with that iggy.….what does that say about how Black women see/ feel about themselves?.
Money and status…she has his child.….or he wants both sides of the coin.
Interesting article, however I do believe that it is just a matter of how much intelligent the person is, which of course is quite relative for everyone. Some men do prefer white women or light skin women over black women for some reasons, the same way some women prefer wealthier men over less rich men. It depends on many different factors and I do not believe that this is a trend. I recommend to watch this video about the subject, which I fond hilarious:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CiXuSWOl0P4.……enjoy!!!!!
More so those men brought up in white countries, but fortunately not all of them.
Of those, I think it’s a mix of reason, feelings of emasculation, seeking integration/acceptance, socialisation and the fetishisation by a lot of white women which they don’t really appreciate or choose to just go with.
Best thing to do, is not support them — at all.
This is what gets me black men date women all out side of there race.When the black women does it oh it’s a problem.That just ain’t right I love who I love.And not as a trophy.
This is heavy! This reminds of one YouTube video from Jeffrey Almonte. Here is the link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHq7W0Sk-kI&list=PLUFWkg1r566kFb1hDgDFCuTjxMh8NoKQG
I think it is a combination of fear and ignorance. There are a number of us who walk around acting as if our black lives don’t matter! Smh
I think the media’s past and current objectification of white female beauty (only) could also play a part as well.
Great article! I would agree that slavery ruined the black American family. The value of black women and black men as good members of a family has been so deeply stained throughout history. I do believe it is really important to support each other emotionally. HOWEVER, as a woman, I refuse to support any form of masculinity which is patriarchal, violet, abusive, lacking in empathy and honesty, or lacking in pure ROMANCE. I don’t know why ( I mean I do, but I am trying to keep this short) *some* black men prescribe to the popularized image of black masculinity… Read more »
Yes! It’s so exhausting. It’s starting to become a parasite-host relationship.
Maybe iggy is better than her. The mother of his kid is just for sex and being a side piece. You can only be treated how you allow yourself to be treated.
The first problem is we are calling them “Black Men”. Are they? Perhaps, “Black Males” would be more appropriate. Men do not reject themselves.
Though Slavery had a tremendous impact on the Black family, I cannot say that after Slavery it didn’t crush the Black Family unit. Freed slaves went looking for their lost loves and family. Marriage was also very high for newly freed African Americans because they understood that family was all they had. Furthermore, interracial relationships were banned at one point in time. So, even if Black men fond over white women they couldn’t date them like they do now. Also, I feel like this article is an attempt to bash Black men. Not all Black men want White women or… Read more »
I urge everyone to read Black Skin White Mask by Franz Fanon, I read his books for my dissertation, and this book dissects a lot of historical things on blackness, the African identity and colonisation…
Interestingly, he too married a white woman.
Him and alot of so called pro Black/fight the power men.…such as Chiek Anta Diop.
Yep that’s true! I was quite surprised to find that out after I’d read his books.
Well damn.
all of Frederick Douglass’s wives were white
This article about Black men hiding Black women but marrying white women is just another piece of trash article that is trying to pigeon hole the black person period.First off, all black men do not and I repeat do not want, court, marry, take out or desire white women as their significant counter part. I ‘ve lived, traveled,and observed life a lot longer than this author who wrote this article.It does not take a scholar,or rocket scientist to understand some humans will always desire that which has been with held from them. That includes the Black man.His actions are normal,If… Read more »
Umm no…about.25% of Black men in this country are married to non Black women.…govt stats.….even though Blacks try to gaslight Black women into believing most Black men marry Black women..not true or else 70% of kids wouldn’t be born oow in the Black community.….In places like England and Canada it is about 50% of Black men married to non Black women and that’s not counting the ones Shacked or just dating.….Black women you’ve been had.
I think there are a few things going on here. Starting with slavery you have to remember that slaves followed the condition of the mother. If the mom was a slave the child was a slave. The easiest way to get your future generations out of slavery was by choosing any woman but a black woman as the mother of your children. How many black men who reject black women pretty much say exactly this? They associate black women with poverty, misery and slavery and white women with freedom. No denying the psychology presented here, but I think it starts… Read more »
Can we get back to talking about how beautiful and awesome black women are, instead of focusing on who does and doesn’t want us. We don’t care for them and it’s their loss, melanin power!!!
Thank YOOOUUUU!!!
Black women are outnumbered in the millions in America…by non Black men.…..so more than enough men to choose from.….Black women are just __________.
black women are beautiful, but since they don’t believe in their own beauty, weaves, skin bleaching, blonde hair, and these ridiculous butt enhancements…you are pushing black men away. black men see what you consider beauty, and go for women who naturally have pale skin and blond hair.
so you’re saying what black men really want is for black women to wear short natural hair, no makeup, don’t need to shave because that’s not natural either). riight. the funny thing is the “naturals” who get the most love are the one’s with the looser curl. if you love black women you love them period. many of my natural or dark skinned sisters get most love from European white guys while the black guys ignore them.
Don’t get it twisted, most European men are not chasing BW, most of them stick to their own as with men from other races.
So I think this is another case where women think us men are more complicated than we really are when it comes to what we want. There are very simple explanations of why we are attracted to what we are, and this is not only a problem with Black men, it is becoming a problem with men of all colors. The proliferation of porn over the past 30 years has rewired what men are attracted to, this is a major problem that has become even bigger in the age of high speed internet where you can have videos on demand.… Read more »
Every time a MALE opens his mouth IT admits that it has no capacity to think beyond its penis. I feel so, so sorry for women of this era who are heterosexual. Thank goodness being a lesbian is a more socially acceptable option for women now. The male population is pathetic.
So we take one example and make it a big thing. I don’t have this problem but then again I’m not from the hood, I don’t do the whole side chick or down low relationship. I only date a certain class of man and they are more than happy to claim me. You attract what you act.
The reason why black MALES do this is because.…some black FEMALES allow them to treat them that way. Women need to wake up.…the days of concubines are over. What the dude was after as well as some other black males is the idea of the wife.…and then the several concubines. Concubines are legal on the women they sexualize with and have children with. Concubines can be dismissed and do not have claim to any of the man’s property or the wife’s status and claims should something happen to him. The wife and children receive all benefits. Black concubines don’t. Simple as… Read more »
you’re right, StarLaday! black women don’t need to put up with this. They can just go to college, get good jobs, meanwhile, live alone, never date, and if they want to start a family just go to the sperm bank. problem solved!
Or.….…Black women are outnumbered in the millions in the US by non black men with jobs, looks, money.……simple.…even with all the racists.
Good, now your lineage will be gone.
why do they call us black females…
It gives it a beastly connotation, like we’re some kind of wild animal that escaped from the zoo.
Imma start calling some of them black males if they dont start getting their game up.
Point is: IM A BLACK WOMAN, NOT A BLACK FEMALE!
Embrace The Female!
Black men are called Black males all the time. You’re making a mountain out of a mole hill.
This is one of the most retarded posts ever written.
Bingo. And they share that belief with many white women, who aren’t truly interested in EQUALITY, but rather, getting their turn to be on top of the white man.
right?!
Actually, his first wife was black, his second white.
Stop looking for them to come to your rescue. Be your own damn hero.
We have been that and more. We have been battling on the front lines for ages. It’s time that we stop and let black men and becky fight their own war.
What…exactly is misogynoir?
Misogyny which is aimed directly at black women. You could google it, if you hadnt already.
So, is there such a thing as misandrynoir?
Google is your friend. If you want an explanation from me it will cost you.
25% of Black males are married to non Black women? That’s complete garbage. Before you spread your slander tell us EXACTLY which government website you got these “facts” from so we can go review them for ourselves
Dear BlackgirlLongHair,
I wish your site was making black mens sex lives my problem with these whiny, mammying ass articles. There are other sexy races of men out there. Go get one article writer. I got mine.
If you are such strong & progressive black women why do you feel the need to make up bullshit excuses & pull the old slavery card? Just because you can read about how mating rituals took place 100’s of yrs ago in Africa, dosnt mean that it has an effect that touches choices of black men today. You are black women not black men, all you are doing with this is making black women look bitter & weak. Nobody is perfect, it is no secret that black women are extremely violent tempered & loud. It’s embarrassing & you are fully aware… Read more »
You poor thing! Your 1 bad experience doesn’t define me, my black sister, my black mother, or any of the black women I associate with. Stay out of those bad areas so you can get the real definition of a black woman.
What about interracial dating for black women? Problem solved
Necessary article. Sexist views towards women and extreme narcissism are also at the heart of this. This idea that women are here solely to serve men’s needs- one White (or non-Black) to serve his needs of escapism or to feed his ego to feel accomplished- and one Black to serve his needs for sex or to possibly assuage any guilt he may have about venerating non-Black women. Whatever the case may be, it’s rooted in the belief that women have only one job on this planet- serve men in whatever capacity he decides and how dare she exist outside of… Read more »
It’s a shame. Some BLACK MEN ARE Conflicted and confused. IT’S SAD. Date/marry non-blacks because THAT’S YOUR preference. WE SHOULDN’T BE A DIRTY LITTKE BABY majer, sexual desired secret.Acknowledge me publicly too, Love me, marry me, or leave me the @!!# ALONE! Slay that!
I am a black man and no offence but… with the white women really?!
I would be ashamed to date one of those. because most white chics are known to have no curves at all. as in have you seen their asses? Their chest are laughable. Ok i don’t mean to sound shallow, white ladies could be good to talk to but, I mean, there is definitely more than talking in a relationship. ; )
ewww! i would date my black sister thrice before I would even look at some white girl! no offence but there is nothing to look at!
uhmm… doz white guys must be desperate! i mean a white girl?!
really?! a white girl?
i just dont understand why black omen continue to have a pity party over black men quote on quote “not wanting them”. I am a 24 year old black woman and i have NEVER had a problem getting a black male to be attracted to me or wanting to be with me in a legit relationship. Hell to me black men are easy bait. I can walk down the street and pick up both a quality and non quality black male. i am not overly curvaceous or anything super sexual to look at. I met the current guy that i… Read more »
I mean Black women have endured a lot during slavery as well and we still love black men. The problem is black men don’t want equality. They want to be where white men are, they want to be equal or more than white men. Which is where misogynoir comes in.
this is sooo true