We have previously shared natural hair memes, many of which were actually entertaining, on this site; However, this meme we are about to share is not at all entertaining. In fact, it is pretty sad and brings meaning to the phrase, “a picture speaks a thousand words”. Or maybe I should say, a picture along with a statement speaks even more than a thousand words on the issues in our community.
What do you see when you look at this picture? I’ll tell you what I see — ignorance at its finest. I see a grouping — a kind of segregation — of the ladies based on hair type. One group is considered acceptable while the other is not. The group that is deemed acceptable consists of women with loose curls or manicured locs. On the other hand, the group that is deemed unacceptable consists of women with tighter textures. The only way for these “nappy” women to cross over to the “natural” side is to loosen their natural kinks and coils somehow. I don’t know … perhaps via a texturizer or by slapping on a Brazilian wave weave? I see a sadly, perpetuated perspective on women with hair like mine.
The originator of this meme is actually (wait for it) a “brotha”. (I refuse to claim him as a brother though; no brother of mine would treat sisters like this.) The meme started on his Twitter account and has been circulating ever since. Lurie Daniels Favors, who is pictured on the “nappy” side in the top left corner shares:
“I have to be honest with you. Considering the history of this photo, I’m used to getting random emails and social media notices where people let me know that this picture is featured in some ad or on some website or another. But it’s still jarring to be reminded that an image of your hair (let alone an image that you actually like) can be used as a valid symbol of what our community has been taught to despise.
It is an especially prickly moment when the people sending the image around also happen to be Black.
The
ass-hat“brotha” who was pushing this particular image has a twitter stream full of some of the most diabolical things one can say about Black people in general and Black women in particular. So it makes sense that this is the type of person who would send around a meme using pictures of Black women this way.And even though dude was trying to be mean, what’s sad is that his sentiments are really just a more extreme version of the way that many of us were taught to feel about our hair (and skin color, and noses, and lips, etc.). As pathetic as he was, at least he was bold enough to publicly state how he really feels.” ~ “When Your Image Is a Symbol of Black Self Hatred,” Afrostateofmind.com
I agree wholeheartedly. To echo Lurie, what is truly sad about this meme is that it is a perspective in the minds of many in our community. Sigh. Ebony (Eclark6), who is also pictured on the “nappy” side but in the bottom right corner had this to say:
“I appreciate everyone who’s been e‑mailing or tagging me in this photo (asking if I saw myself on the bottom right on the “nappy” side), but it’s not offensive to me. It’s actually quite sad (and almost comical) that someone can be so ignorant! Honestly, my first reaction was laughter. *shrugs* “Oh, sweetie.” There’s SO much more work to be done.” — Eclark6
I am glad that these two beautiful women are not personally offended and that they immediately recognize the ignorance of this meme. Both have actually been featured as style icons on BGLH and images of their gorgeous hair shared many times (see Lurie’s feature here and Ebony’s here.) I can only pray that this is the case for all other natural-haired black women (and young girls) and that the mindset of our community as a whole — black women AND black men — will change one day.
Ladies, what are your thoughts on the bloggers’ statements?
It’s so sad how thirsty people are to have a piece of kinky hair empowerment. We are loving ourselves, financing an incredibly lucrative industry and creating a new standard of beauty. We are expressing our freedom and people still don’t understand why we love our coils. I have trained my mind, heart and surround myself with images of kinky hair. I look at straight hair with indifference. It’s boring. My hair is dynamic and not hard to manage, but only takes a different standard of care. And the curly envy? I’m over it. I’ve spent too long wishing I had… Read more »
I know that’s right!
YES!
This issue also sheds light yet again on our own self-hate. if you notice the women in the “acceptable natural” pictures have a light completion; as if the darker women are less for tighter, courser hair texture. We need to stop putting down in our own community for skin color and hair texture. We catch enough of that from people that are not of our culture- we don’t need it from our own too.
Right! And chances are this “brotha” has the same hair texture as the women in the so-called nappy section. It definitely is self-hate.
There’s one “nappy” chick that’s light. It’s just her hair. Smh though
umm there are a couple of light skinned women in the left section dear sir… o 3o
The guy is clown, and I’m loving every minute of it. The more they expose themselves the better off we are–Leave them behind.
That’s right!
Shame some of the women in the pictures on both sides cannot sue him for copyright infringement.
Do you know anything about that ? Can’t they ? That would be awesome. Just to teach him a lesson.
this is the world we live in
What does ol’ boys hair look like though? Natural?
HA! You KNOW it’s NAPPY! And what’s wrong with that?! I have nappy hair, and nappy hair is natural hair. He’s deeply ignorant.
This guy hasnt had a perfect life none us will ever experience a perfect life not even the richest amongst us. So the question is how badly has this guy allowed himself to be hurt by society to randomly one day decide to bring these highly esteemed women into his house of self degredation?
Obviously these women dont have low self esteem because if they did he would have never been able to find pictures of Black women that have embraced their hair. So he gets an oxymoron medal for trying to give these woman afflictions they obviously dont have.
This is really creepy when you notice that the “acceptable” women appear to be mixed, not pure black (I’m not saying they definitely are just that the light/angle of the photo makes them appear that way) and their hair textures and colour (check the eyebrows) also look like or have been made to look biracial.
They are trying to out breed blacks if you haven’t noticed. They are trying to “improve the race” bevause they believe they closer to white you are the better. Again, self hatred and white supremicism. We have a long way to go.
And especially sad that a black dude would post this when the idea of looser textures being “prettier” is an idea created by whites to be against blacks. In fact looser textures (like mine) are not pretty, they are a sign of mixed blood (I’m 50% black). So if blacks want to discriminate on ethnic features surely they should discriminate against looser textures and light skin as they’re signs of impure genes?
His post is wrong on so many levels that I can’t even comment. I only hope no dark coily haired woman with insecurities or teen or anybody else was hurt in the process. I hope no woman turned her back on a natural journey because of this. We still got a long way to go. It is sad and even if if the only black man on earth, he might not be the only one to think like this. Sometimes I read comments like dark women are always angry, they lack self esteem and self confidence, they envy light complexion and… Read more »
They’re not your brothers sis.…and you don’t need their validation.…you need to just get away from them.
You don’t need their approval. You be you. Also, they’re not your “brother” either. I dont get why black people say that but thats besides the point. I 100% agree with you though, dont wish to loook or be different. Instead, wish for the world to change.
I could care less what they think. I know all black men are not brainwashed, but a significant number are due to some particular Youtubers. Whats amazing is how far reaching their influence has been. I think when black woman get that there are other races that are datable then we wont be held hostage to the desire to please them and put our life quality in danger by using dangerous/harsh beauty solutions to meet there approval. They got the point. Heck, half of them are in Brazil right now! We need to really wake all the way up and… Read more »
Maintain your natural hair through all the storms. Grow it out if you want. Keep all options open for love.There will be a lot of tears when some of these men realize who was really in their corner.
Of course it was a Black man that did this.….. because apparently, we can’t have anything of our own unless they deem it acceptable.
Not surprised it was a black guy.
I don’t find it at all comical that men are putting their negative foot all up in something black women have worked really hard to build up in a positive way. It reeks of corporate America are they mimics or something are you just a reflection of your previous master?!
Is this way so many Black business are so d eager to give everything away?
I will never understand the self-hate that brews in the hearts of many black men. I will never understand why they continue promoting colorism.
Because it benefits them. They want a seat, or an adjacent place, at the white table. So, telling black women that they aren’t good enough if they possess these uniquely black traits will then breed resentment and competition in the two groups of women. Leaving the “desirables” for their consumption, giving them an ever-increasing closer seat at the table.
exactly. It’s a self-serving strategy. I also think it’s for attention-which typically creates popularity and wealth for some.
SAY THAT.
Yes…what is the deal with them, Pearl? Real question.
WE ALWAYS TALK ABOUT THE psychological effects of young girls seeing their mom wear weave bUT we never talk about what young boys feel or see when their mom’s wear weave. I think that’s why a lot of black men end up hating weave because they want the real.thing. think about it
You comment just brought to mind something someone told me about her nephew not understanding why her hair texture is different from other female family members. He is so used to seeing black women with long silky hair that when he saw his aunt with her natural hair he asked why it isn’t the same as the other females.
Sometimes their whole families of woman who wear weave. So when the son sees a woman with natural hair it takes time for them to get used to
Yeah, they want real, straight hair. What about the skin color issue though?
seriously though. and it seems to be them more than any other group of people. more than black women, more than white people, i see black men bashing black women on the internet like its going out of style. it’s really getting out of hand.
As I always, the biggest white supremacists are black people. Especially black men. They think anything closer to white is better. Be it the skin color or hair. And don’t think black women escapes from this ignorance and self hatred as well because it’s actually really relevant.
He’s irrelevant so he tries to create controversy to keep himself entertained.
Remember the book “Happy to Be Nappy” written about a decade or so ago that encouraged young black girls to accept and love their natural nappy hair? If black women starting embracing that word instead of running from it, vermin like the fool who posted this little tidbit would lose his power. What’s wrong with nappy anyway? It really isn’t a bad word. Look it up in the dictionary. For all you christians, Jesus had nappy hair, right? Nappy is synonymous with wooly, right? Expensive cashmere sweaters are made from wool right? Makes wool just as valuable as silk, yes?… Read more »
I don’t think you get it or are able to comprehend this. Its the intent to which it is being used. He is saying that it is a bad thing. He is using it to insult and degrade. It is equivalent to when people say: “oh your so dark” or ask: “why are you so dark?” Theres nothing wrong with being dark!!!! The problem is its being used to INSULT or be mean! Lowkey or highkey.
Then don’t let it INSULT YOU! LAUGH AT THE INSULT. It is ego that allows an insult to get to you. If you are going to go outraged over a word that someone “mean to insult you with”, then you are doing exactly how he wants you to react to his statement. The Point is, don’t give him what he wants! People who gets offended by someone who is meant to offend them are manipulated into getting offended because that person’s objective was to get you offended.. so what do YOU get out of outraging towards him and other people… Read more »
Why are we blaming a man for this? When woman praise loser hair texture on all these natrual a hair blogs and you tube videos ? Let’s not Just point the finger at men when woman are obsessed with defining curls they do not have.
That last comment is soooo ignorant. EVERY blacl person has curls, some tighter than others and some looser than others. But we all have CURLS. So they are trying to define THEIR OWN curls. Get it right.
Hun not everyone gas curls!! if you have to manipulate your hair to have something than you don’t have it
So what hair texture do they have then, straight?
A kink is a curl. A very small curl, but a curl no less.
This meme is ridiculous, stupid, prejudiced, and obviously comes from an insecure person, but I also agree with the person named “more” who wrote that women act the same way–looser, longer, hair textures are praised, while shorter, tightly coiled hair patterns, unless they are manipulated to look different (bantu knots, two- or three-strand twists, tons of gel slapped in the head for more “curl” effect, etc.), get little to no play! What I want to know is why there a section at the top of this page titled “4B/4C HAIR GROWTH GUIDE”?! Is this to imply that those women who are… Read more »
exactly
I wont deny that texture discrimination exists. However, I disagree with your assessment of the situation. I have kinky, curly, coily natural hair, and I use gel to make my curls clump together. I tend to do my hair twice a week. Gel allows me to get up in the morning, shake my hair out, and go without being late for work. Un-gelled hair gets smushed, misshapen, and badly tangled. You are not going to sit and patiently detangle my hair behind me not using gel, so who are you to judge me and other sisters for the methods that… Read more »
Why are we blaming a man for this? Because a dumb ass man put up the stupid meme? Surely you’re not trying to imply that this ashy man’s idiotic meme is the fault of the women he’s making fun of?
This kind of thought process is so irritating and infuriating. Two wrongs do not make a right. Yes, there is an issue with women in the natural hair community idolizing looser textures. And????? How are those women responsible for what a GROWN MAN, in seemingly full possession of his mental faculties, says and does? He is solely responsible for spewing this vitriolic BS and he doesn’t get a pass just because some black women do the same. Let’s point a finger at ALL who do this ish, men AND women, regardless of who started it first because really, that is totally… Read more »
Girl/Boy, have a seat. We’re blaming a man for his actions in this specific debacle. He STOLE the images of these women to use in a hateful meme because he’s too ignorant to see how stupid and racist it makes him look. Regardless of what you may personally think of some naturals, it doesn’t excuse his actions, and he is 100% in the wrong. Tell me, why are you so focused on the fact that he is a man? If he was a woman, would it be ok to blame him for his OWN actions then? It sounds like you’re… Read more »
Black Girl Long Hair did you not just celebrate the women on the left just last week. You saw no difference when they were the black women with the million followers.
Now you see a difference?
Hippocrites. What exactly do you stand for?
BRUH, DID YOU EVEN READ THE ARTICLE?
BGLH appeared to promote the R side with so many articles.
It’s no wonder they get the fame, the followers etc.
It cannot be all inclusive or this is what will happen.
BGLH why are you only putting up parts of my comments?
The Blogger L called her own hair nappy in her interview with you.So why be upset now
Her mom’s salon is Woven Wool
They set the platform for this kind of disrespect
‘One group is acceptable while the other is not’
This site sometimes makes it that way especially with the post I was referring to.
I repeat it cannot be all inclusive or you will have a hierarchy and divisions.
To reinforce my argument one of the bloggers, L, featured on the ‘Nappy Side’ even refered to her hair type as ‘Nappy’. And I quote from her 2011 interview with BGLH: BGLG: How would you describe your hair? L: Very thick, very NAPPY. Most people don’t believe me when I say it is NAPPY until they see my afro. It can be hard to imagine how long, soft, flowing twisties can shrink up into a 2 inch stiff afro if you just add water. It is also independent and has a mind of its own. The name of the blogger’s mother’s salon is ‘The… Read more »
This Fool is not a Doctor but he’s a WW lover and a Hater of BW. He’s 61 yrs old and runs from YouTube, Topix, Facebook, BeyondBlackandWhite and other forums where BM are to put them down while he married and chased WW for 40 yrs, he’s a FOOLISH man who didn’t invest in himself, nor his family or the Black community IGNORE MACEO! AKA MAKE UP YOUR MIND HE’S A HABITUAL LIAR AND HE’S ALWAYS HATING ON BW!
This meme is stupidly ridiculous, immature, and prejudiced. However, my quesiton is why, on this site, is there a section at the top titled “4B/4C HAIR GROWTH GUIDE”? Like, WTF? Is there some known fact that women who accept the typing system and fall into the “4B/4C” category can’t somehow grow hair on their own that they need a whole section with TIPS? BGLH, for shame. Pot meet kettle.
So this is a carbon copy comment with a different name attached. Hmmm…
Well the needs and concerns are different for 4B/C so yeah, they could use their own category. The growth aspect is more for ‘retention’ but whatever, that’s not the point. The point is- It’s useful.
Ok well I hope his mom and dad are proud. And I hope he’s hexed for life since he want to use global platforms to add to Black women’s stress. *throws salt over shoulder. #nottodaysatan
This meme is ridiculous, stupid, prejudiced, and obviously comes from an insecure person, but I also agree with the person named “more” who wrote that women act the same way–looser, longer, hair textures are praised, while shorter, tightly coiled hair patterns, unless they are manipulated to look different (bantu knots, two- or three-strand twists, tons of gel slapped in the head for more “curl” effect, etc.), get little to no play! What I want to know is why there a section at the top of this page titled “4B/4C HAIR GROWTH GUIDE”?! Is this to imply that those women who are… Read more »
Do you think making your post several times will somehow increase its validity? Yes, many with a 4B/4C hairtype DO need help growing our hair out. Our hair tends towards fragility and dryness and therefore requires special care to retain length. The right care is not complicated, but it is something that many do not know as yet. No amount of PC posturing will change that fact.
lol what’s wrong with a guide? I wish I’d known about that guide when I first went natural. When someone offers you help they aren’t implying that you can’t do things on your own. Get it right get tight, boo.
It doesn’t mean that women with 4B/4C hair can’t grow hair on their own. There are plenty of other growth guides for women with hair that is Type 2 or 3.
I bet people flooded this guy’s twitter with outraged comments — exactly what he wanted. He should have been met with stone cold silence. Except maybe one person commenting, “Poor thing.” Because that is what he is. Poor thing.
This is what the natural hair movement has become..divisive and full of self-hatred. This man just exposed how it really is. People always want to point the finger at others (black men, hair product businesses, etc.) except looking at themselves. The women of the natural hair movement need to stop playing the blame-game and take responsibility for their role in this. This black gender war is ridiculous and needs to stop!
Nappy is natural
But the issue is that “nappy” and “natural” are not mutually exclusive terms. If all of the women in the photo are natural, then they are all natural, period. There is no need to separate and divide further. To do that is just to create another “A is better than B” division among black folks.
Exactly HeavnsGirl. As I pointed out to someone else in reply earlier the Blogger refered to her own hair as nappy. She had no qualms then so why get upset when someone else refers to your hair as nappy?
Not everyone who is natural refers to their hair as nappy is so true.
misery loves company but based on their reply’s, this ignorant, self-hating loser wasn’t able to pull those beautiful ladies down to his sad level. they are gorgeous and they know it.
Not surprised. Black men are brainwashed to only like silky straight. They dont love and adore the hair that grows out of their OWN scalp. Notice the women on the left are darker skinned, while the right of the photo not only have looser hair, but they are light like a white girl. I noticed a lot white men accept BOTH course (black women) and silky (white women) hair textures equally. I’ve seen some white men stating in their own words that they prefer to see a black woman’s hair in it’s natural state, whether short or long. But black… Read more »
Well, the girl on the bottom right hand corner is “lightskinned”. I just think this bum just doesn’t appreciate women. We should just leave him be, let him hate
Not all black men, I know one who LOOOVES women with Afro. He does art and he paints a lot of exotic black women with Afros of any length. also, I’ve come across a black man who had the audacity to completely dislike light skin women and accept that the darker the better and would even get upset if a black woman choses to have children for a white man… so it kinda goes both ways though.. It is quite annoying though how people always point at the skin. No offence, i understand that you’re making a point on the… Read more »
You are so true! This guy shouldn’t even get a glance!
Just leave him alone, give him no attention. Then he won’t thrive lol
agreed
The issue isn’t with the word nappy, it’s the typing it as not natural–which is factually incorrect–that people have a problem with. I understand that some people do not like the word nappy at all, while others don’t see an issue with it, depending on how it’s use. But, the problem with this ignorant persons meme, was with his failed attempt to degrade ‘coarser” textured hair as not being part of the natural hair movement.
I always thought that “nappy” was a hair style trend… O.o If I saw this post without reading the article, I would have never seen how anyone could have gotten offended by this.. (At first glance, I would thought that society keeps mixing the two up and the poster was trying to show them the difference…) I use to be like.. wow, nappy haired women sure have sassy lively hair, I love it!… I guess I should be ashamed now? o.o If “nappy” is an offensive word to black women of a hair texture that society refers to as nappy,… Read more »
Please slow down, it’s really hard to follow your train of thought.
You wrote that long piece telling people to…ignore it and move on? What?
This echoes a turn the other cheek mentality that I cannot get behind. Would you tell a rape victim that was called a slut to “shake it off?” A black person who’s harassed due to racial profiling that gets called a thug or aggressive should just “ignore it”, because they know in their heart it’s not true? No. At some point, your self-esteem should not be used to excuse other people’s negative categorizations of you and the community you represent. You have to check this mentality. The other side of this is that adults with strong self-esteem aren’t the only ones getting… Read more »
Hey!! Thanks for posting on here. I agree especially that people flock to negativity. Some things in life are inflammatory and of course get an intense reaction from us. You are right in that we need to stop giving power to negativity. We have to retrain our minds to only pay attention to uplifting people, media, images, thoughts, and actions! I want to know more about your hot, amazing video you made. THAT SONG IS THE BOMB! BGLH you need to pay attetion!
Bruh! !This song is the bomb, I love it!!!
I wasn’t surprised either. Unfortunately, this is the case for most misogynoir memes on social media. Whether it is about our hair or anything else, most memes that denigrate black women are created by so-called black “men”. There’s a couple of guys out there who take a lot of black female-positive memes and work to change them into negative ones (take the popular 2014 year end meme featuring a black woman leaving emotional baggage in the past for example.)
When that man is ignorant and not culturally woken in anyway shape or form. therefore he can not be reconciled with
You are proof that not all BM dislike their sisters in their natural glory, In fact there are many like you. I understand your frustration because it would seem that most of us want to by pass the brothers who have real positive things to say about us and are more inclined to pick up on the few who have negative things to say. In my experience of being natural for 20 odd years I’ve had nothing but love directed at me from majority brothers. Even today i have younger men who approach me and comment on how they love… Read more »
Very unfortunate, very sad. Those women, all of them are STUNNING!!!!
You make a good point! I will definitely be sharing your song. The negativity is tiring and exhausting. Stupid is as stupid does so if they want to spotlight negativity we should spotlight positivity 10 times brighter.
A lot of black Americans think like this… they outweigh the ones who don’t think like this. Oh well just another day…
The whole meme is ignorant.ALL of the women in that picture are Natural AND Nappy.This seems like a light skinned vs dark skinned thing to me and this guy is totally sick in the mind.
It is ignorant, I won’t even waste my brain power on it. I they want to call me nappy so be it. Whatever “they” may call it, I LOVE my kinky, versatile tresses!
I would sue for unlawful and unauthorized usage of my pic, if that were me on EITHER side.
My 4c hair is beautiful. I love my kinks and coils. Often time I don’t like to do twists outs bc I feel its an attempt to mimic a looser curl pattern. I like to stay true to mine.
of course it would be a black man who makes this meme…and they wonder why so many successful sisters are checking for them anymore
This is what the natural hair movement has become..divisive and full of self-hatred. This man just exposed how it really is. The truth is a REALLY bitter pill to swallow. The natural hair movement wants to point the finger at others (black men, hair product businesses, etc.) instead of looking at themselves. The women of the natural hair movement need to stop playing the blame-game and take responsibility for their role in this. This is a legit problem that a lot of black women either ignore (in denial) or try to put the blame elsewhere. This black gender war is… Read more »
When I saw it, my first thoughts (literally) were “true” and then “why is the woman with the dreads on the ‘natural’ side?” Context matters. Not everyone who is natural has nappy hair. The issue is that some people see “nappy” as derogatory. It’s no more derogatory than “dark-skinned,” which some idiots also use as a put-down.
I see nothing wrong with these pix. I DO see someone ignorant trying to use them to put down (mostly dark-skinned) black women with nappy hair, but we don’t have to be reactionary. It’s a miss for me.
Ok, So we say we wanna “Stay Away from the negative” and live a “Drama Free” life, but we make bullshit like this meme famous! Im a Soul Artist busting my ass to get my song/music Video, “Natural Sista” (A Positive Ode to the Natural Sistas) out to the masses, But a silly meme like this gets famous overnight. AND gets responses from many Natural Hair Bloggers, but I could only get a share from only a couple of them…I can count on one hand how many shared, But I emailed it and offered to purchase promo ADS from dozens… Read more »
I’m not at all surprised that a “brother” made these comments. That’s actually the first thing I thought when I read the headline. Sad but true
so the way hair naturally grows out of your head isn’t natural…So he’s a f****** idiot. Is he going to learn the difference? grab a dictionary dumb ass.
I’M SICK. I’M ABSOLUTELY SICK OF IGNORANT STUPID BLACK MEN SHITTING ON OUR APPEARANCE EVERY GODDAMN TIME! AND YET WE STILL SUPPORT THESE CO*NS!!!