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Appreciation or Harassment? Natural Vlogger Sparks Discussion After Filming Man’s Persistent Advances

Avatar • Mar 13, 2015

The internet was abuzz this week when natural YouTube vlogger, MeekFro posted a video to her social media accounts showing a young man following her in a store as she was trying to walk away to shake his advances.

While, we’ve only seen a snippet of the video, her friend confirmed the incident and mentioned that the young man continued to press on after initially being told “no.” 

MeekFro also posted another video a few days earlier of another man attempting to initiate unwanted conversation.

UPDATE: the full video has been posted which shows the men followed her from the street to the inside of the store

A video posted by @mykeltrent on

Of course the internet had a lot to say.

Some felt the incident was clearly harassment:

It’s street harassment when she declines communication and you keep trying to force it”

Others felt differently…

she obviously wanted to ‘prove’ that she gets talked to…it had nothing to do with ‘harassment’ ”

There’s no denying that Mykel is a beautiful woman and the young man might have been overwhelmed by her flowing locs. However at what point is enough..enough? Can one safely avoid unwanted advances?

Just last October, Mary Spears, a mother of 3 was killed after rejecting a man’s advances in a club. Spears politely informed the male assailant that she had a fiancé and wasn’t interested. Unsatisfied with her response, the man proceeded to open fire on Spears and later the crowd, injuring five members of her family.

 

What do you think? Have you been followed in attempts to get your number? Do you feel there is a safe way to respond?

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Alisa
Guest
Alisa

I’ve never been followed in an attempt to get my number, but I can’t say that what she was experiencing was harassment. Annoying? Yes. Of course, I don’t know how she felt. If she felt that she was being harassed, then I will support that. I think that the more polite thing to do for those men is, instead of following her around like a puppy, politely ask her to stop and chat, and then take it from there. If she doesn’t want to stop and chat, keep it moving. Because if you follow her around, you end up looking… Read more »

Camille
Guest
Camille

At worst I would consider it being pestered. To me harassment is when guys say something lewd or gets in your personal space. Just because you aren’t attracted to a man who is trying to get your number and are annoyed doesn’t mean that they’re predatory. I just say I’m not interested and keep walking.

Mandy Ruth
Guest

Exactly. Every relationship starts with someone initiating some type of communication. Either you are on it or you arnt. But just because you dont happen to be interested doesnt make it harassment, and it certainly doesnt give you the right to be mean and hatefull.

April
Guest
April

If a woman wants to be mean while addressing someone she’s not interested in, she can be. She has the right to reject advances she doesn’t want and she can choose to reject in a mean manner or in a polite manner. There isn’t a code to follow. Sometimes being approached at all, even a hello is annoying to me. Those are my feelings at times. No one can know what someone is going through at every single moment of the day, so a polite-sounding hello might elicit irritation if I’m already in a bad mood and don’t want anyone… Read more »

Neesy
Guest
Neesy

I’m sorry but you can’t define what a woman calls ‘harassment’ its personal and depends on her experiences. My cousin had a cleaner working for her who ‘liked’ me. He asked for my number more than once and I declined but I was still friendly and talked to him (not harassment). Later on he kept being persistent and I felt uncomfortable so I firmly but politely told him no and stopped speaking to him(harassment). A week or so later this dude sexually assaulted me when we were alone in the house. Had I been rude or a lot more forceful… Read more »

Coffeeandfingernails
Guest

I’m so sorry that happened to you. For what it’s worth, it doesn’t sound like he thought you were playing hard to get. It sounds like he was a predator who didn’t care what you wanted and no amount of “rudeness” would have made a difference. And you don’t owe a damn thing to any guy who doesn’t back off after you’ve already said no twice.

Yoli
Guest
Yoli

I am sorry this happened to you. I do not think that you should apologize for feeling the way that you do now. Certain types of harassment are actually criminal (other types are violations) and continued harassment can be considered stalking. Not a personal thing but a legal thing. I am sorry you are questioning your actions and thinking what you did or didn’t do could have changed things. You felt uncomfortable and rightly so. No one should fix their lips to tell you what behaviors you should and should not feel comfortable with. Harassment is unwanted advances, touching, communication… Read more »

OXxo
Guest
OXxo

As usual some people blame the woman who is being followed.

Some men just do not understand the word “No”.

Mandy Ruth
Guest

They both left immediatly after she said what she had to say. They didnt continue trying to talk to her after she made her rude comments.So how do they not understand the word no?

Hannah
Guest
Hannah

I understand her irritation. Some guys really can’t get the message, and in the end you resort to being rude to try to put them off :/

Mandy Ruth
Guest

They both left immediatly after she said what she had to say. They didnt continue trying to talk to her after she made her rude comments, so how was being rude and nasty the “last resort”? “Resorting to being rude” would mean that a man continued following and harassing you after you attempted to tell them no with respect, and you finally had to be more curt with him. That is not what happened here. How can you defend this?

tbc
Guest
tbc

Thank you for posting on this very important issue.

April
Guest
April

They do not like to take no for an answer. They want you to have an excuse for your rejection, which isn’t necessary and they can be extremely rude. This has to stop. I can’t speak from the video that he was being anything more than annoying, but even when you’re polite a rejection can offend them.

Mandy Ruth
Guest

They both left immediatly after she said what she had to say. They didnt continue trying to talk to her after she made her rude comments.So how were they not taking no for an answer?

Yoli
Guest
Yoli

Why did she have to get to a point of making rude comments? Maybe she politely declined his advances before having to resort to rudeness. I have had similar situations happen and have felt unsafe from having to say “No thank you”. That should not be anyone’s reality. Someone is not interested, move on. It shows some may be slightly unhinged if a complete stranger’s rejection can upset someone to a point of being upset and lashing out.

April
Guest
April

When I said “they” and “them” I meant the men who pursue women when they’ve already been told no.

K_
Guest
K_

i need to see more or what happened before hand..if he was whistling and barking at her before then NO, otherwise it seems like he was just interesting and asking her name and instead of saying i dont have a name should have just been like I’m not interested but thanks this is what kills me about the whole “street harassment” thing. the women(an) video taped and video taping themselves NEVERRRRR (well i have never seen one) where they just say sorry I’m not interested, they always just keep ignoring the guy which is my opinion is rude in the… Read more »

Mandy Ruth
Guest

I couldn’t agree with you more. Where is the harassment? Is there more to the video that I missed? All I see is are two men attempting to speak to a girl they found attractive. And a mean spirited girl trying to make a fool out of them. Which really made her look more like a fool.

Mandy Ruth
Guest

I ordinarily don’t post to discussions like these; however I am so upset by this that I felt compelled to do so. You should ashamed of yourself. No one was harassing you. Two men found you attractive and decided to attempt to speak to you. You clearly didn’t feel the same way and instead of having some class, thanking them for the compliment and respectfully declining, you record a video of yourself being mean and hateful to both of them? Who do you think you are? Do you think this is funny? Do you think this is cute? This is… Read more »

lis
Guest
lis

Lol…Some black females.….lord

KosmoKhaos
Guest
KosmoKhaos

Everything you said is exactly what is wrong with the way people view women in today’s world. ESPECIALLY the comments about Black women! I mean what the hell does her being Black have to do with ANYTHING that happened here?? Are you sure you’re a woman?? Because you sound like one of the those bitter Black guys who get angry when a Black woman respects herself enough and doesn’t automatically want to talk them or find them appealing. They feel a sense of entitlement because of the way Black women are perceived in society. It’s a misogynistic view some Black… Read more »

J
Guest
J

You sound like a White woman who is with a Black man. Stop being so obsessed with us go enjoy your time with Tyrone we don’t care. Stop inserting yourself in discussions about us. Like why are you making this about White women being with Black men? Trust me we don’t care as much as you all wish we did. And if a woman has to say no more than once it is harassment. If the contact is unwanted and persists it is unwanted. And what compliment is there in being followed around? We should be grateful for male gaze?… Read more »

Mandy Ruth
Guest

I hope you get what you want and no man ever takes any interest or tries to speak to you ever again for the rest of your life since thats what you claim makes you happy. Have fun dying alone.

Guest
Guest
Guest

Oh the horror of dying alone. Women should know by now that they’re life is worthless if they don’t have a man–worthless!!!!. Oh the horror!!!!!!

Hannah
Guest
Hannah

…I think you are a butthurt man masquerading as a woman. Your comments throughout suggest this is a hot button issue for you, so I suspect either you’re a woman who doesn’t get approached, a white woman with issues or a black man

Hansy Peguero
Guest
Hansy Peguero

Preach!

0101
Guest
0101

Was anyone else waiting for the MRAs to fly into this articles comments section? I mean, I expect them at troughs like Buzzfeed and Jezebel, but not at isolated locations like these.

All that “fuck you, everyone should be obliged to find my opinions attractive”. Yeah no.

Slink back to Return of Kings, please. And take your bitter cognitive dissonance with you.

Gummy Venus De Milo
Guest
Gummy Venus De Milo

There’s a time and a place to approach a woman. The middle of a public setting usually isn’t one of them. How does a woman being by herself in a public place somehow mean she should be open and receptive to being courted by random strangers? Even if you’ve got one of those “you’ll never know unless you try” mentalities, once a girl says NO to whatever advances you may throw her way, that should be enough for you to retreat and let said girl go about her business. These guys are insistent despite the fact she rejected their advances.… Read more »

Reina Benoir
Guest
Reina Benoir

You should have stuck to your self-imposed rule about not commenting in discussions like this. You and your attitude are the reason why so many men think they can approach any woman and follow her around and expect to be treated “politely.” No means no. The first time she said no should have been the end of it. When a man follows her into a store and continues to approach her she is under no obligation to be “polite.” In fact it was HE not SHE who was rude when he decided to follow her and impose his presence on… Read more »

BillipPhailey
Guest
BillipPhailey

You are a nasty misogynist troll. Next time some thug like this guy (and you) bothers me, I’ll call the cops and let the chips fall where they may.

Tabatha
Guest
Tabatha

I would have to have seen the whole issue other than what was posted. This seems to be the timeline where Boys and Man-Children didn’t retain or were not taught how to relate and approach the opposite sex. I have been followed (after politely telling them that I’m not interested) and literally you have to be a bitch for them to get the point or threaten them with your pepper spray and/ or Tazzer. then you get the, “So that’s how it’s going to be?!” “Yeah dude it is”. I do not answer to little mama, honey, yo, hey baby,… Read more »

Mandy Ruth
Guest

I agree
with part of what you just said. If you politely tell a man no and he continues
to persist then yes, that is rude and would make me feel uncomfortable.

However,
that is not what happened in these videos. I have watched each of them from
start to finish twice. Judging by some of these posts I don’t think people are
even taking the time to watch them before writing about it. Neither of these
men did anything wrong.

Jas
Guest
Jas

She said no though lol what do you mean?? You might have watched the videos twice but did you listen lol??

OXxo
Guest
OXxo

People don’t get out their phone and openly start recording others if they haven’t gone away when politely ignored or told “no” first.

The Yes Man
Guest
The Yes Man

This was not harassment. The young men seemed polite and simply asked for her number. These days people complain about others not doing things the old-fashioned way and asking for numbers face to face, or simply approaching someone to yell them they are beautiful. However, it seems when they do finally do it it is considered harassment. You can;t have your cake and eat it too.

Mandy Ruth
Guest

Women are mad when no one wants to talk to them, and then just as mad when someone does. A man you are not attracted to making a single attempt to speak to you is not harassment.

Gummy Venus De Milo
Guest
Gummy Venus De Milo

You’re an idiot. It is harassment because of the unsolicited and persistent nature of these advances. ‘No’ should mean ‘no’ but according to these fools, they can coerce any female to rethink their initial decision.

It truly is unfortunate that because a young, relatively attractive female is by herself in a public setting, males misinterpret this to mean “single and ready to mingle” when in fact that is rarely the case.

Tennitra L Scott
Guest
Tennitra L Scott

I agree

melimelon67
Guest
melimelon67

She was being followed around a store…how is that not harassment?

Yoli
Guest
Yoli

It is harassment. In the state of New York, she could sign charges against him for just that and possibly charges of stalking depending on the entire situation. Different states, different laws but I am sure there are similar laws in most states.

Mackenzie Irick Milks
Guest
Mackenzie Irick Milks

Unfortunately, there isn’t enough video to show what happened prior to the recording. She could have indeed been being harassed. It’s always so amazing to me how quickly people tend to just to the most emotionally charged conclusions from snippets. A woman says she was harassed, we deny that she was. A woman says she was raped, we say prove it. A woman says she feels unsafe outside, we say stay your tail in the house…if she says she was harassed prior to the taping (because it’s not likely that the camera was out and ready prior), why does she… Read more »

Mandy Ruth
Guest

The sad truth is that this IS the reason so many black women stay single. Black women are known for having bad attitudes, are mad when no one wants to talk to them, AND mad when someone does that we don’t think is good enough. Anyone being offended by that statement prob falls into that category. I am completely floored at the amount of women defending this behavior. What exactly did these men do to deserve this? Other than say hello to a women in a store? Would you be ok with a man trying to make a fool out… Read more »

jas
Guest
jas

What behavior?? She wasn’t rude at all. She owes no man the time of day. Maybe she has a man..you don’t know her situation. If she doesn’t want to be spoken to she doesn’t have to. No means no. As the article said, which you obviously didn’t read, the barking wasn’t captured on the video. All we see is the exchange between the two so you can’t comment on what did or did not happen. She said no once and he should have been mature enough to go about his business. Just because they “weren’t disrespectful” as you say doesn’t… Read more »

cryssi
Guest
cryssi

And with this I think it is time for me to exit the comment section stage left. I suggest most do the same, this discussion is going in so many circles I’m dizzy. I feel maybe we all should just agree to disagree…

Olgnaej
Guest
Olgnaej

You sound desperate. Not all women are. Believe it or not sometimes women want to go outside with out being bothered. Black women probably have ‘attitudes’ because they cant be left alone unless they are inside.

cha
Guest
cha

What do you mean black women have bad attitudes? Wtf? That means we deserve harrasment ? Ok just keep spreading the misogynoir there that perpetuates the rape and assault of black women since we’re so mean and don’t deserve love but if we’re deemed attractive we must automatically accept the advances of any man cause who else would want dirty, mean, tainted black women

Mackenzie Irick Milks
Guest
Mackenzie Irick Milks

Mandy, you are wrong. You are also not able to speak for Black women, even if you are one. If we are “known” for anything, it’s because that is what is being perpetuated to the masses. The reality of the matter is, I have a family full of strong Black women…married Black women. I am married. My Black friends are married. Some of us to Black men, some of us to non-Black men. I have no desire to run to her defense. What I desire to do is ask others why she HAS to defend herself. Why is this snippet… Read more »

Mackenzie Irick Milks
Guest
Mackenzie Irick Milks

The video has been reposted to show that the man followed her from the street all the way into the store…And, Mandy, you are extremely presumptuous. You are not able to speak for Black women, even if you are one. If we are “known” for anything, it’s because that is what is being perpetuated to the masses. I take into account that no race or gender is homogeneous. The reality of the matter is, I have a family full of strong Black women…married Black women. I am married. My Black friends are married. Some of us to Black men, some… Read more »

Corelle Perry
Guest
Corelle Perry

Is the rest of the video on Youtube or Instagram? I was able to get some understanding of the content and I have to say this. The guy cheesin’ in the second video I just want to hit…with something heavy! There are fine lines between a complement, pestering and harassment. If she wanted to raise awareness for harassment towards women in African American communities then I say ‘Go head girl.’ This needs to be addressed! She was being following into the store and the guy was whistling/barking at her and it was rude! He asked for her number after doing… Read more »

Mandy Ruth
Guest

Who was whistling and barking? Is there an extended version of this clip on u tube that only you saw? Bc that didnt happen in either of the videos posted here. Further she didnt say “no”. He said “hi whats your name” and she said “I dont have a name”. The second time when the guy introducted himself, she said “Im a serial killer.” What “simple no” did you hear? Can you please share the link where you saw whistling and barking with the rest of the group bc if there is more to this story than what is shown… Read more »

Jas
Guest
Jas

It seems you didn’t read it too clearly either lol it said her friend tweeted out that the first guy was barking and whistling at her to get her attention..we didn’t see it in the video though..she did say no..not verbatim though. She said I’m good which means no and he continued on.

Sasha
Guest
Sasha

When some asks how you are and you reply “I’m good”, that does not normally mean “no” in polite society. Rather it is typically viewed as an invitation to continue conversing! I saw nothing rude or out of line in that first video. You are just exhibiting a typical Internet overreaction to a simple social interaction.

cryssi
Guest
cryssi

Well, by your logic, I find it interesting that you didn’t notice this didn’t happen in “polite” society. His approach was not polite, his response was not polite, so why would she be inclined to go about this in a polite way?

Some men mistake politeness for feigned interest, which may cause some women to respond in kind.

Mei Valentine
Guest
Mei Valentine

There is more to the story, I believe the victims friend said the man was whistling and barking at her prior to the video via twitter.

Mandy Ruth
Guest

Its crystal clear from reading your post that you wrote it without actually watching the video.

Dee Hines
Guest
Dee Hines

It’s clear from reading your post that you didn’t actually read the article and just went straight to the video…

Tennitra L Scott
Guest
Tennitra L Scott

I didn’t see how the 1st one was harrasement. The 2nd one yes.

Rose
Guest
Rose

Honestly, I find it very rude that she recorded these videos. Whenever someone tries to talk to me for a romance and I don’t want to be bothered, I just keep it moving. That has never failed, ever. Some woman just like the attention, and so they’ll drag out the interaction for long periods of time. Had that guy had money or good looks, those same advances would be taken as huge compliments. So what if you don’t like him? Move on. Petty stuff here.

dee
Guest
dee

but he wasn’t rich or good looking, so she didn’t want him, that is her right. Just because she MAY have welcomed the attention of a rich, handsome man does not mean she OWES an ugly, poor man anything. your logic is skewed.

Yoli
Guest
Yoli

Exactly! After reading many comments and responses, I am starting to feel like the people defending these men and their actions are the same people who would like the “attention” these men are giving her. I know I only respond to guys that I think are attractive, why should it be any different for her? That is what harassment is…unwanted advances. And she didn’t want either one of them.

Rose
Guest
Rose

That is precisely my point. The guy is not doing anything inherently wrong. In fact, her interaction is only fueling his interaction. Yet, she thinks she’s so much better than him. She wants to look cool or important on social media. Some of you women need to get that huge chip off your shoulder. That sweet, charming guy will never approach you because he can smell your stank, gold-digger attitude from a mile away.

Yoli
Guest
Yoli

How is her recording rude? Maybe it took her recording the videos for them to actually stop harassing her, which is what I got from watching the videos. One guy actually asked why she is recording and she said I record everything, it clicked and he finally walked away.

oldschoolyrw
Guest
oldschoolyrw

Exactly, she made the interaction much more than it needed to be. All she had to do was say, ‘no thank you, I’m not interested’ and leave it at that. The smart aleky remarks just made the situation escalate and made him believe (rightly) that she would continue to entertain his advances. She should have just disengaged and called management/security if it was that bad. The fact that she was recording shows her mindset. Attention is what she wants and what she got.

Coffeeandfingernails
Guest

I only watched the videos above (didn’t seek out longer versions on youtube), but if you begin your approach (make eye contact, begin to speak) and the woman turns and keeps walking, you’ve got your answer–she doesn’t want to talk to you. If you keep pursuing her, you are demanding attention that she has already let you know she is not inclined to give, and that’s harassment. She doesn’t have to be polite–you’ve already forfeited her courtesy by forcing her into an interaction she’s made clear she doesn’t want to have. The idea that a woman is required to take… Read more »

Bronxchick
Guest
Bronxchick

I wish I could like this1,000 times! Man, you already know she’s not interested! Stop trying to salvage your bruised tho on someone else’s time!

Bigantic
Guest
Bigantic

No man should ever start off a conversation with a total stranger like “can i get your number” followed by “why… Why… Why… Why…”, then keep going on and on then following her throughout the entire store.

Lea
Guest
Lea

Her response in both video’s was completly rude. What is wrong with just giving a fake name and number , smile and keeping it moving. I’ve done this many times before and immediatly the guys stop persuing because they are satified and were not embrassed or dissed for just admiring. The reason the guys were so persist was because of the way she was acting adding fuel to the fire. And women wonder why they can get or keep a man. I’m not saying she had to kiss these gentlemens behind but they should have been treated with common curtisy.… Read more »

Yoli
Guest
Yoli

Why should someone have to lie if they are not interested? It is women like you who end up giving a name and number (albeit fake) to these idiots that have them thinking what they are doing works. It is because of women like you that I have had guys like these fools still continue to harass me with statements like “and don’t be giving me no fake name and number”. What happens if the guy harassing you is doing so in a place that you frequent and you end up seeing him again after your fake name, number, and… Read more »

Lea
Guest
Lea

And did you ever think maybe she was not polite initially and came off completely ill-mannered. Your right she doesn’t owe these men a thing BUT my point was you should have some class about yourself and not embarrass a guy on SOCIAL MEDIA when all they where trying to do was ask you out. (Even if they way they did it was no the way YOU thought they should do it.) That in it self made her no different from them and the way they address her. She stooped to their level. IT’S WOMEN LIKE YOU who don’t know… Read more »

Hannah
Guest
Hannah

I used to give fake numbers until the guys started buzzing my phone to check if the number was real…So now i give my real number and block.

Mynx
Guest
Mynx

I see what you’re saying about courtesy because I don’t like being mean lol I’m way too kind at times. But when it comes to male advances, the way this man approached her was just as disrespectful or rude as her response. To keep it real, I would’ve ignored him as well. The fake number thing will end in two ways (well at least for me that’s how it happened)…you can give him a fake number and he’ll call that number right on the spot and wait for your phone to ring (some guys really do this!) or you give… Read more »

SheridaDaily
Guest

Her response was rude? I don’t think so, actually. She has no obligation to give this stranger anything, not even a fake number and name. Why go through all that effort when a simple ‘no’ should suffice? He was not showing curtesy when she repeatedly rejected him. Harrassing somebody is not a compliment. “And women wonder why they can get or keep a man” I think I can speak for a lot of women when I say this; I would never want be with a man, much less keep a man whose ‘game’ was harassing me until I broke and… Read more »

Natalie Watt
Guest
Natalie Watt

The point is a man should not feel entitled to your number, and giving out fake names/numbers isn’t helping them learn that not interested means not interested!

Olgnaej
Guest
Olgnaej

No one should have to stop and pretend to be nice to strangers because they are acting like animals and we want to avoid being attacked. These are human beings we are talking about. No means fucking NO. Im sure if they had the chance to assault her they would have. They could hve completely avoided her being ‘rude’ if thy simply didn’t say anything at all. Men always think women owe them something for their unwanted ‘compliments’ and advances and we should be glad they notice us. LoL Please, I’m sure a lot of us would be glad if… Read more »

Lakitha Goss
Guest
Lakitha Goss

Some men are not worthy of courtesy.

Yoli
Guest
Yoli

For those people saying that this is not harassment are wrong! None of you know what happened before she started recording, how long were these guys following her before she started recording, and what was their purpose for being in the store? Doesn’t look like either guy was in there to purchase anything. For all the people who have experienced this type of harassment know exactly why the woman felt the need to record and be rude. Sometimes being polite is not enough. I have politely declined many guys’ advances only to be told I was “being rude, a bitch,… Read more »

Yoli
Guest
Yoli

Why are so many people only commenting on the first story? How about the lady who lost her life because she told someone that she was not available for his advances? I remember hearing about this story when it happened and all I thought was how many times I have been in similar situations and felt unsafe. It is situations like the ones the vlogger recorded that could turn violent because some loser was rejected. No one should ever feel in danger because they are not interested in someone, whether they are polite or rude. What is wrong with these… Read more »

JenniD
Guest
JenniD

I experience this a lot. No does mean no but she was RUDE!!!! But she also is quite young and that seems to be the way many of these young ladies are these days. Heck if another natural walked up to her and complimented her on her hair I think they would’ve got the same type of reaction from her. Being snark like that can become so much a part of your personality that it can be hard to turn off. Its not a cute look. I notice that when young women like her are in public with their friends… Read more »

Melbie8595
Guest
Melbie8595

Im going to have to disagree with you. This lady might get these types of advances all the time, and all the time I mean DAILY. If not this person, then im sure other women do. You have to understand that to sometimes men perceive ‘politeness’ and ‘kindness’ as shyness. And thats when they start following you, thinking that they can erode your willpower and make you give in. If another natural walked up to her and complimented her, I dont see why she wouldnt be thankful for the compliment. You dont know her personality, she might be a really… Read more »

Shani
Guest
Shani

Maybe that’s the problem. When some women respond as if it’s okay to be followed into a store and continuously harassed the guy think it’s okay to do that with every other female that he wants to get a number from or talk to.

Lakitha Goss
Guest
Lakitha Goss

When you do not want to be bothered you don’t wish to be. I have had this happen to me when I have been on the subway minding my own business and reading a book. Guys will come right up in your face and start trying to ‘mack’ with tired, idiotic lines. A lot of foreign black men think that they are entitled to your attention. I have told many men that I do not wish to be bothered and they have become defensive. I value my personal space. Black men need to learn the ideal of boundaries and respect… Read more »

bsbfankaren
Guest
bsbfankaren

As a woman, why am I not entitled to be rude if I don’t want the attentions of some random man? Men will tell a woman in a heartbeat if they are not interested and will not mince words.

Rachael
Guest
Rachael

I’m entitled to walk around in a bikini top- 30 miles from the nearest beach. It does not mean that I do it. You ladies need to figure out the difference between your “right” versus being safe. You do not risk antagonizing someone who has twice your strength and for whom you have no idea of their criminal or mental history.

Chel
Guest
Chel

The fact that this is even framed as a question or being up for discussion is despicable. BGLH, you should be ashamed of yourselves for this perpetuating that notion. She was harassed, period. You should have said that in your title, and asked your readers to have the more important conversation of how we stop this sort of misogyny.

JazzWife
Guest

If a woman shows no interest, if she turns her back, or responds to his questions in curt one word answers, then she is not interested. That would seem to me to be a huge clue. Yet he continues his hot pursuit, hoping to change her mind? Following her into a store does not score brownie points, it begins to border on him being a stalker. She is not going to change her mind nor does she have to. If she is not interested, she is not interested. Period, full stop. Why would she have to give him her number… Read more »

April
Guest
April

Thank you so much!

nylse
Guest

its definitely harassment but as women we have to know how to deal with it.
some give fake names, fake numbers, outright say no, don’t smile, don’t talk and the harassment persists. Harassment does not validate your beauty or make you feel good — you just feel harassed. You ought to know your worth and beauty to not let harassment factor in to the equation. ultimately if you sense danger — run, hide, or call police.

arissaj
Guest
arissaj

She was being unnecessary. Saying no would’ve sufficed. Her giving them these clever responses, were just screaming for attention, and also letting these men know they are on video tape doesn’t help her case. The women who got shot, that was harrassment.

suchanewbie
Guest
suchanewbie

She can be rude if she wants!! One day I was waiting for the train, this guy and his friend came up to me and told me they liked my locs, they had a bball and looked rather young 18–20. I was being polite, and gave one of the guys tips on how to start his locs since he asked me abt it. Then I felt the conversation getting weird so I said good luck with your hair put my headphones in and took my book out and started walking back and forth reading. At some point this guy took… Read more »

Cosita
Guest
Cosita

As someone who was followed around stores by strange men many times when I was in high school and college I feel strongly this is harrassment. It is also very scary.If you have never hadthis happen to you then you shouldn’t judge. Imagine being 16 and some grown a$$ 40ish man is following you around. I would try to politely say I was not interested and move on but there are men out there who think “She’s playing hard to get.” Why would a man follow a woman he doesn’t know if she walks away from him? yet people are… Read more »

Fee
Guest
Fee

This video doesn’t tell the full story so it is impossible to say if he was harassing her or if she was just being rude! I have been on both sides, where “boys” were just being totally obnoxious and where I was just flat out rude. When I have felt threatened I have let the person know they need to get away from me and if that wasn’t enough went to a public space so if need be a witness is present. But I can admit I have been rude when the approach was pleasant, maybe I was in a… Read more »

Kay
Guest
Kay

Yes means yes, no means no. There is no gray area. It was clear the young lady was not interested. To keep advancing towards someone after that is harassment. Period.

Well
Guest
Well

Well in my experience if a guy walks up and asks for my name/number I just smile and say, ” But I don’t know you!” Anyway this vlogger thinks so highly of herself. It’s not a crime for guys to try and get with you. Many of them are not refined, they don’t know what to say so they just say hi and ask for your name/number, just be polite about it and decline. All they’re trying to do is get a girlfriend, there’s no need to be rude from the outset. Very few men who approach are actually rude… Read more »

Babe
Guest
Babe

I’ve personally been harassed…to the point where a 30 something year old man (I was 18) not only followed me around the store but waited outside until I came out and parked his car behind mine so I couldn’t leave the parking lot unless A) I responded to his advances or B) I called the police.…although this young lady’s story could have been harassment, the way she interacted with them leads me to believe she wasn’t. She definitely engaged in conversation to the point where she was taunting them (“I’m a psycho killer”). And from my experience the only reason… Read more »

kia
Guest
kia

this was harrassment…aint no telling how long he was actually following her but he was following long enough for her to pull out her phone and start recording. the part that gets me is how he comes back aggressive as hell proclaiming how he approached her like a gentlemen. women are not indebted to say “hi” to anyone. we dont owe strange men anything…smiles included. he can go pound sand.

EastCoastBae
Guest
EastCoastBae

I absolutely agee and I wouldn’t call this harassment. I’ve been grabbed and followed. By the grace of God, I’ve had others come to my aid on both incidences. I learned early on that if I receive unwanted attention- I provide very brief polite responses or I ignore them altogether. No smart remarks- no eye rolls- EVER. While it is within my right to give as much attitude and say whatever I like- this world is NOT a safe place and to do so could have been to my detriment. I’m not saying that my brief responses or non-responses will… Read more »

April
Guest
April

You are so right! She can be rude, and she doesn’t owe anyone anything.

Octavia
Guest
Octavia

The vlogger said in the first place while she and her friend were walking down the street that she shouldn’t have spoken. So therefore it means she was nice and spoke and went about her business. They then stalked her all the way into the store.

oldschoolyrw
Guest
oldschoolyrw

This girl was just rude. She is no better than the men who approached her. Very full of herself. Ugly.

Lo
Guest
Lo

I’m not going to argue whether or not the first videos were harassment or get into a discussion of victim blaming BUT I will say that from my observations she was a bit engaging for her to claim to be harassed bc if you truly don’t want to be bothered it would speak and very obviously so in your body language (something natural and automatic) and that girl looked neither uncomfortable nor annoyed, she even responded to him AS HE BEGAN TO WALK AWAY. He called her rude and proceeded to walk away, once she realized her “unwanted attention” was… Read more »

Lo
Guest
Lo

…And to be honest she looked quite bored as if she was awaiting more action to spice up her night/vacation for her vlog

melissa
Guest
melissa

I’ve experienced this so many times in my life and I learned to just brush the guy off. However I just want to add to the people that keep saying she was being rude, listen we meet some many guys that do this on a daily basis. The problem is its hard to tell what type of guy he is. What if one of these guys wanted to attack her after. I am not going to risk my life and entertain someone so that I dont appear rude. In addition we are taught from a young age to protect ourselves… Read more »

Reina Benoir
Guest
Reina Benoir

If saying no was sufficient they wouldn’t have followed her into the store from the street in the first place.

You have NO RIGHT to judge how she decides to dispatch people who follow her.

Adía
Guest
Adía

Woman don’t have to be nice or polite to any man coming on to them

Denise
Guest
Denise

It’s perfectly fine for a young woman to decline the advances of anyone. I was approached as a fifteen year old by an obviously grown man, many years ago. He did not care that I was not interested in an adult and became agitated and biligerent. This occurred in a park environment with many adults and young people around. You never know what kind of personality your dealing with and your safety comes first.

Philly Jawn
Guest
Philly Jawn

walking in downtown philly at every corner i was cat called by men and called a bish for politely declining it happens and u move on im not taping it

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