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30 Quirks Every Naturalista Can Relate To

Avatar • Feb 8, 2015

I was sitting at home one day and started thinking about all of the natural hair oddities that have been discussed amongst natural women over the years. Yes, natural hair is awesome and most of us wouldn’t change our decisions to be natural for anyone. However, it’s still a journey filled with bumps, lessons and laughs. Below, I’ve compiled a list of my own thoughts and the words that were said during conversations with my fellow kinky, curly friends. Hopefully, you’ll be able to relate to at least 5 of these quirks and have a good chuckle while you read. Enjoy!

1. Your pony tails can look small, not because your hair is short, but because your hair is so thick in the middle of your head that your attempts at a pony tail end up looking something like this…

This wasn't exactly the look you were going for.

This wasn’t exactly the look you were going for.

2. Your hair looks bomb and is freshly washed, but for some reason every now and then after wash day, you see little white flakes or residue from hair products in your hair. People think you have lice, but you’ll be darned if you’re washing your hair again. They’ll just have to think you have lice. Shoot. They WILL deal.

3. Your hair is poppin’, but there’s fog, mist, rain, a spritz of moisture in the air that leaves your perfect mane looking something like this in an hour tops….

vanessa huxtable hair

4. Oh that’s cute…you use ONE pony tail holder for your pony tails…I use like 3 and they STILL pop.

5. Ugh, its wash day (looks at hair). Why can’t I just be bald? After some thought, you quickly get down on your knees and thank your DEAR JESUS you have hair at all.

6. I should wash my hair tonight…No, I don’t feel like it. I’m just gonna spray some water on it and twist/set it using my best hair care products. You unravel your hair in the morning to discover dull, frizzy, crunchy and still incredibly dirty hair….that’s now curled. Ugh.

7. Her: OMG, your hair is so gorgeous and it looks so effortless, can I touch it?
You: Ma’am! This isn’t that effortless, keep your hands in your area.

dont touch a black girls hair

8. Walking around with half of a smashed up afro because you decided to actually lean back comfortably in your chair and rest your head on the head rest.

9. Walking around with the top of your afro smashed because it hit the roof of your car.

10. Your high pony puff is sittin’ pretty, edges are snatched and sleek…..head is pulsating because it’s all too much and way too tight.

gabby union ponytail

11. You always have these items tucked neatly in your purse: at least 5 bobby pins, two pony tail holders, a head band and small brush or comb.

12. You lay your head on your significant other’s chest as youre watching a movie and they pat your hair down and out of the way. Now you feel awkward and just move to your side of the bed.

13. You think to yourself, “I don’t need to twist my hair or wear my bonnet tonight. It will be fine in the morning”. It’s NOT fine in the morning and you throw your hair up in a bun real quick.

awkwardblackgirlthoughts

14. Your baby thinks your hair is a toy and laughs every time you lean over him or her.

15. Your family almost slips and dies in the shower from all the oil, conditioner and shampoo that you forgot to rinse out.

16. After hours of roller setting… “My hair looks great! Let me just fix these few curls….” You completely destroy those few curls and now you’re walking around with a head full of perfect Shirley Temple curls and a kinky afro-like bang.

17. You know it’s going to be a long ride home and someone else is driving. You quickly gather your hair products, so you can twist your hair on the way back. You better kill two birds with one stone honey.

hvw8iw.jpg

18. You try new hair styles on the weekends where you don’t have to be anywhere special. Just in case your hair comes out looking a hot mess.

19. You put too much evoo/jojoba/coconut/castor/apricot/grapeseed oil in your hair and you’re praying it doesn’t get too hot, so people won’t see your face and neck become an oil slick.

20. You complain about having to do your hair every day, so you get braids/twists. You take the braids/twists down in a week because you miss your kinks/curls.

janet jackson braids

21. You spend a good hour trying to figure out if you should risk not doing your usual twists/bonnet/bantu knots/plaits/pineapple/scarf routine so your man can get the full effect of your sexy lingerie.

amara santos fro

22. You’ve told people “Just go without me” because you underestimated how long it would take to do your hair and they’ve been complaining about waiting.

kelis hair prep

23. Natural hair is so low maintenance, said no naturalista ever.

imagesF55F59SC

24. You just walked in the door from a nice stroll at the park/beach/bike path only to find debris in your fro.

25. Freeing your mane from your head band/bobby pins/pony tail holder brings the same relief as freeing your boobs from your bra.

lauryn hill waving gif

26. You decided to give the hair stylist an extra large tip. Poor thing was sweating, panting and even had to remove a layer of clothing while trying to do your hair.

27. After swimming, you just sit with a towel on your head to prevent a river of water from streaming down the sides of your face.

28. At some point, your eyes have become blood shot red and teary because you forgot you still had Kinky Twirly Curly Wavey Coily Custard on your hands and you decided to go IN while rubbing your eyes.

untitled

29. People assume that you are a vegan hippie who doesn’t wear makeup and is super eco-friendly. Meanwhile, you just finished wiping off your red lipstick so you could scarf down that cheeseburger with extra mayo comfortably.

box to go kandi

30. If asked about your hair, you take that opportunity to encourage another sista to embrace their natural hair, because the truth is, you love yours and you would never go back to being relaxed!

 

Can you relate to this list? Feel free to continue the list below!

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LBell
LBell
5 years ago

I relate to many of them. 4) I never had this “problem” as a kid (because I barely had any hair) but I remember wondering in grade school why more of my black classmates didn’t wear their hair in one or two braids like the white girls. I had to actually work with natural hair to understand just how much hair someone would have to have to wrestle it into one or two braids. (Note that this was in the days before kiddie perms, when most of us only straightened our hair for church or special events.) 13) I’m grateful… Read more »

IB
IB
5 years ago

25. Freeing your mane from your head band/bobby pins/pony tail holder brings the same relief as freeing your boobs from your bra.”

LOL! So accurate!

April
April
5 years ago

Lol…I’m on 18 and 20 as I type.…

Moriah King
Moriah King
5 years ago

This is hilarious!!! I love it!! 😀

Jackie Witter
Jackie Witter
5 years ago

Some of these are hilarious.

BlueCornMoon
BlueCornMoon
5 years ago

I avoid all those bad hair problems by always having a wig on hand ready to go including a little cheapie afro wig I just slip into my gym or beach bag.

Adeola @ *The Mane Captain*

one can write a whole encyclopedia about natural hair.
http://www.coilsandglory.com

Andrea
Andrea
5 years ago

1, 5,6,21 and 30 are me for sure…needed to wash it now but won’t! I will soon! #teamnatural

Tabatha
Tabatha
5 years ago

ROFLMBO! So many of these are SO TRUE! Especially the extra tip for my hairdresser, lol he is a skinny white guy that listens to rock music, but he is so patient with my hair I have a lot of fun with him.

SemiXoXo
SemiXoXo
5 years ago

Lol. I can totally relate to 1, 2, 5, 11 and 13. My hair and I have our days, but I love it!

Honeybrown1976
Honeybrown1976
5 years ago

Church is dismissed.

Chrissy
Chrissy
5 years ago

I am dying, DWL, LOL!! #1, 5, 16, 19, 20 and 30, me, soooo me!!

MM
MM
5 years ago

# 1 EVERY time 🙁

elleroc
elleroc
5 years ago

I was feeling like number 1 earlier today when I thought I could create a twist-out updo. For some reason, My hair can’t seem to do a decent twist-out! So I pinned it back…My hair is so thick, it’s really fustrating!

Kari
Kari
5 years ago

#5, #6 and #30! Yaaaaaaaaas, all of these thoughts/statements were on CURL, KINK, TWIST, BRAID, LOC and BUN! 🙂

JazzWife
JazzWife
5 years ago

Laughed HARD at #15.

Alice Ebony Angel Kent
Alice Ebony Angel Kent
5 years ago

I solved all those problems, by cutting off the majority of my hair. I don’t like long hair and when I had it, I had those problems and now I am happy, with my short hair. I can laugh at them now, but they were not funny when my longer hair styles didn’t turn out. I am loving my short hair with no problems.

Monzi
Monzi
5 years ago

Ah.…this made my day, LOL! I am pretty much agree to 90% of this list.
But number 5 doe…I died! ><

And 11, check all of my bags…I still do this!

Hadassah
Hadassah
5 years ago

Lol! This list wasso much fun to read! I can relate to all! I dare not try a new style on weekdays when I’m out and about…and God bless the bun and I always tip my hair dresser poor darling lol!
I’m so saving this list for the giggles.….
http://www.nappilynigeriangirl.blogspot.com

chalabrooks
chalabrooks
5 years ago

I’m dying laughing over here. I can relate to all of them.

VORAH
VORAH
5 years ago

SUPER FUNNY

Chevanne
5 years ago

#7 Wish my dodge was that classy and less Neo in the Matrix.

Ronnie
Ronnie
5 years ago

My hair is too fragile and fine for it, but some of these naturalista quirks have sometimes made me want to go back to locs. Being a loose natural with bra-strap hair is not exactly low-maintenance — only TWA’s and locs are in comparison from my experience.

And my face shape and body type doesn’t look right with a TWA.

That said, this article is true and funny.

marie
marie
5 years ago

can someone pleaaaase do an article like this but for locs? Ironically this piece just made me miss my natural hair and all the hassle like crazy, i need inspiration to stick to my newbie locs and cuz i really miss my curls now 🙂

Victoria
Victoria
5 years ago

The braid one is so true! I put box braids in for a winter protective style at the beginning of this month and I already want them out. Unfortunately, I’m a minor and my mom is refusing to let me take them out because I spent to much money on them. 🙁 I loved this post.

icryclouds.blogspot.com

J9ssica
J9ssica
5 years ago

lol I am sporting a TWA right now,can’t wait to relate to this =),enjoying that my hair is very easy to manage though lol

josexpressions
josexpressions
5 years ago

Dear Lord, I just about died when I read this post — loved it! So true…let me just say, hats/caps/head bands are my favorite things for a natural-day-gone-to-hell! 🙂

Kia
Kia
5 years ago

This article had me on the floor and gave me life at the same time!

Ella
Ella
5 years ago

This is beautiful!!!

Aly
Aly
5 years ago

Another vegan here.

treyboo
treyboo
5 years ago

Lmaoo This had me laughing from beginning to end!
I love my hair and all of its quirks!
So funny!

Kisha Jones
Kisha Jones
5 years ago

25!!!! 28!!!! ????????????????

Monique
Monique
4 years ago

The first pic I use to have that problem every time I take down my protective style so what I do is put my bang the front of my hair in a bun and then the rest of my hair in a bun in a back .

Monique
Monique
4 years ago

I can definitely relate to 20 . Every time I get my hair braided in an updo , I miss my curly afro . Then when I take my protective style down and wear my curly afro I start to miss my braids because I dread doing my curly afro . I can relate to most of them except for the baby one and the boyfriend/ husband one. I don’t have a kid and I’m not dating anyone .:(

$8319184
$8319184
5 years ago

Oh LORT! The pony tail! How my ponytail frustrates me! Even when I try to do more than one, when I take them off, my hair literally springs out all cartoon like. I thought it was just me. Dagnammit, I’ve tried! I keep looking at my hair like, “it’s long enough to hold a pony tail but it barely can Why me?!”

Bigantic
Bigantic
5 years ago

Haha, wait a minute. But I am a vegan hippie!

Ree Ree
Ree Ree
5 years ago

Hilarious!! Number 12.…..25.…& 30 🙂 truly describe me

Marie
Marie
5 years ago

yasss! lol

sara
sara
5 years ago

I’m a vegan anyway, but it’s so true!

Connie
Connie
5 years ago

I really that we complain so much about our hair. It doesn’t have to be a struggle. I swear, it’s like we traded the relaxer for the twistout. Still not happy with our hair in its natural state.

Rebekah Marie Byrd
Rebekah Marie Byrd
5 years ago
Reply to  Connie

No, we adore our hair. But there are troubles related to it.

Chelsea
Chelsea
5 years ago

Lol yes number 30 is my ish

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