I was sitting at home one day and started thinking about all of the natural hair oddities that have been discussed amongst natural women over the years. Yes, natural hair is awesome and most of us wouldnโt change our decisions to be natural for anyone. However, itโs still a journey filled with bumps, lessons and laughs. Below, Iโve compiled a list of my own thoughts and the words that were said during conversations with my fellow kinky, curly friends. Hopefully, youโll be able to relate to at least 5 of these quirks and have a good chuckle while you read. Enjoy!
1. Your pony tails can look small, not because your hair is short, but because your hair is so thick in the middle of your head that your attempts at a pony tail end up looking something like thisโฆ
2. Your hair looks bomb and is freshly washed, but for some reason every now and then after wash day, you see little white flakes or residue from hair products in your hair. People think you have lice, but youโll be darned if youโre washing your hair again. Theyโll just have to think you have lice. Shoot. They WILL deal.
3. Your hair is poppinโ, but thereโs fog, mist, rain, a spritz of moisture in the air that leaves your perfect mane looking something like this in an hour topsโฆ.
4. Oh thatโs cuteโฆyou use ONE pony tail holder for your pony tailsโฆI use like 3 and they STILL pop.
5. Ugh, its wash day (looks at hair). Why canโt I just be bald? After some thought, you quickly get down on your knees and thank your DEAR JESUS you have hair at all.
6. I should wash my hair tonightโฆNo, I donโt feel like it. Iโm just gonna spray some water on it and twist/set it using my best hair care products. You unravel your hair in the morning to discover dull, frizzy, crunchy and still incredibly dirty hairโฆ.thatโs now curled. Ugh.
7. Her: OMG, your hair is so gorgeous and it looks so effortless, can I touch it?
You: Maโam! This isnโt that effortless, keep your hands in your area.
8. Walking around with half of a smashed up afro because you decided to actually lean back comfortably in your chair and rest your head on the head rest.
9. Walking around with the top of your afro smashed because it hit the roof of your car.
10. Your high pony puff is sittinโ pretty, edges are snatched and sleekโฆ..head is pulsating because itโs all too much and way too tight.
11. You always have these items tucked neatly in your purse: at least 5 bobby pins, two pony tail holders, a head band and small brush or comb.
12. You lay your head on your significant otherโs chest as youre watching a movie and they pat your hair down and out of the way. Now you feel awkward and just move to your side of the bed.
13. You think to yourself, โI donโt need to twist my hair or wear my bonnet tonight. It will be fine in the morningโ. Itโs NOT fine in the morning and you throw your hair up in a bun real quick.
14. Your baby thinks your hair is a toy and laughs every time you lean over him or her.
15. Your family almost slips and dies in the shower from all the oil, conditioner and shampoo that you forgot to rinse out.
16. After hours of roller settingโฆ โMy hair looks great! Let me just fix these few curlsโฆ.โ You completely destroy those few curls and now youโre walking around with a head full of perfect Shirley Temple curls and a kinky afro-like bang.
17. You know itโs going to be a long ride home and someone else is driving. You quickly gather your hair products, so you can twist your hair on the way back. You better kill two birds with one stone honey.
18. You try new hair styles on the weekends where you donโt have to be anywhere special. Just in case your hair comes out looking a hot mess.
19. You put too much evoo/jojoba/coconut/castor/apricot/grapeseed oil in your hair and youโre praying it doesnโt get too hot, so people wonโt see your face and neck become an oil slick.
20. You complain about having to do your hair every day, so you get braids/twists. You take the braids/twists down in a week because you miss your kinks/curls.
21. You spend a good hour trying to figure out if you should risk not doing your usual twists/bonnet/bantu knots/plaits/pineapple/scarf routine so your man can get the full effect of your sexy lingerie.
22. Youโve told people โJust go without meโ because you underestimated how long it would take to do your hair and theyโve been complaining about waiting.
23. Natural hair is so low maintenance, said no naturalista ever.
24. You just walked in the door from a nice stroll at the park/beach/bike path only to find debris in your fro.
25. Freeing your mane from your head band/bobby pins/pony tail holder brings the same relief as freeing your boobs from your bra.
26. You decided to give the hair stylist an extra large tip. Poor thing was sweating, panting and even had to remove a layer of clothing while trying to do your hair.
27. After swimming, you just sit with a towel on your head to prevent a river of water from streaming down the sides of your face.
28. At some point, your eyes have become blood shot red and teary because you forgot you still had Kinky Twirly Curly Wavey Coily Custard on your hands and you decided to go IN while rubbing your eyes.
29. People assume that you are a vegan hippie who doesnโt wear makeup and is super eco-friendly. Meanwhile, you just finished wiping off your red lipstick so you could scarf down that cheeseburger with extra mayo comfortably.
30. If asked about your hair, you take that opportunity to encourage another sista to embrace their natural hair, because the truth is, you love yours and you would never go back to being relaxed!
Can you relate to this list? Feel free to continue the list below!
I relate to many of them. 4) I never had this โproblemโ as a kid (because I barely had any hair) but I remember wondering in grade school why more of my black classmates didnโt wear their hair in one or two braids like the white girls. I had to actually work with natural hair to understand just how much hair someone would have to have to wrestle it into one or two braids. (Note that this was in the days before kiddie perms, when most of us only straightened our hair for church or special events.) 13) Iโm grateful that… Read more »
โ25. Freeing your mane from your head band/bobby pins/pony tail holder brings the same relief as freeing your boobs from your bra.โ
LOL! So accurate!
LolโฆIโm on 18 and 20 as I type.โฆ
This is hilarious!!! I love it!! ๐
Some of these are hilarious.
I avoid all those bad hair problems by always having a wig on hand ready to go including a little cheapie afro wig I just slip into my gym or beach bag.
one can write a whole encyclopedia about natural hair.
http://www.coilsandglory.com
1, 5,6,21 and 30 are me for sureโฆneeded to wash it now but wonโt! I will soon! #teamnatural
ROFLMBO! So many of these are SO TRUE! Especially the extra tip for my hairdresser, lol he is a skinny white guy that listens to rock music, but he is so patient with my hair I have a lot of fun with him.
Lol. I can totally relate to 1, 2, 5, 11 and 13. My hair and I have our days, but I love it!
Church is dismissed.
I am dying, DWL, LOL!! #1, 5, 16, 19, 20 and 30, me, soooo me!!
# 1 EVERY time ๐
I was feeling like number 1 earlier today when I thought I could create a twist-out updo. For some reason, My hair canโt seem to do a decent twist-out! So I pinned it backโฆMy hair is so thick, itโs really fustrating!
#5, #6 and #30! Yaaaaaaaaas, all of these thoughts/statements were on CURL, KINK, TWIST, BRAID, LOC and BUN! ๐
Laughed HARD at #15.
I solved all those problems, by cutting off the majority of my hair. I donโt like long hair and when I had it, I had those problems and now I am happy, with my short hair. I can laugh at them now, but they were not funny when my longer hair styles didnโt turn out. I am loving my short hair with no problems.
Ah.โฆthis made my day, LOL! I am pretty much agree to 90% of this list.
But number 5 doeโฆI died! ><
And 11, check all of my bagsโฆI still do this!
Lol! This list wasso much fun to read! I can relate to all! I dare not try a new style on weekdays when Iโm out and aboutโฆand God bless the bun and I always tip my hair dresser poor darling lol!
Iโm so saving this list for the giggles.โฆ.
http://www.nappilynigeriangirl.blogspot.com
Iโm dying laughing over here. I can relate to all of them.
SUPER FUNNY
#7 Wish my dodge was that classy and less Neo in the Matrix.
My hair is too fragile and fine for it, but some of these naturalista quirks have sometimes made me want to go back to locs. Being a loose natural with bra-strap hair is not exactly low-maintenance โ only TWAโs and locs are in comparison from my experience.
And my face shape and body type doesnโt look right with a TWA.
That said, this article is true and funny.
can someone pleaaaase do an article like this but for locs? Ironically this piece just made me miss my natural hair and all the hassle like crazy, i need inspiration to stick to my newbie locs and cuz i really miss my curls now ๐
The braid one is so true! I put box braids in for a winter protective style at the beginning of this month and I already want them out. Unfortunately, Iโm a minor and my mom is refusing to let me take them out because I spent to much money on them. ๐ I loved this post.
icryclouds.blogspot.com
lol I am sporting a TWA right now,canโt wait to relate to this =),enjoying that my hair is very easy to manage though lol
Dear Lord, I just about died when I read this post โ loved it! So trueโฆlet me just say, hats/caps/head bands are my favorite things for a natural-day-gone-to-hell! ๐
This article had me on the floor and gave me life at the same time!
This is beautiful!!!
Another vegan here.
Lmaoo This had me laughing from beginning to end!
I love my hair and all of its quirks!
So funny!
25!!!! 28!!!! ????????????????
The first pic I use to have that problem every time I take down my protective style so what I do is put my bang the front of my hair in a bun and then the rest of my hair in a bun in a back .
I can definitely relate to 20 . Every time I get my hair braided in an updo , I miss my curly afro . Then when I take my protective style down and wear my curly afro I start to miss my braids because I dread doing my curly afro . I can relate to most of them except for the baby one and the boyfriend/ husband one. I donโt have a kid and Iโm not dating anyone .:(
Oh LORT! The pony tail! How my ponytail frustrates me! Even when I try to do more than one, when I take them off, my hair literally springs out all cartoon like. I thought it was just me. Dagnammit, Iโve tried! I keep looking at my hair like, โitโs long enough to hold a pony tail but it barely can Why me?!โ
Haha, wait a minute. But I am a vegan hippie!
Hilarious!! Number 12.โฆ..25.โฆ& 30 ๐ truly describe me
yasss! lol
Iโm a vegan anyway, but itโs so true!
I really that we complain so much about our hair. It doesnโt have to be a struggle. I swear, itโs like we traded the relaxer for the twistout. Still not happy with our hair in its natural state.
No, we adore our hair. But there are troubles related to it.
Lol yes number 30 is my ish