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Dealing with Criticism from Family Members, Black Men and Those Who Think Natural Hair is For “Certain Textures”

Avatar • Dec 16, 2013

Woman-mean-mugging1

By Lisa of NapturallyCurly.com

When you are natural or transitioning, dealing with critics is just part of the journey.

If you learn nothing else, you will learn that your self esteem and inner strength will be tested over and over again.

So I thought I’d put together a post to help you deal with the negative people in your life who will try to discourage you on your journey.

1. Kill ‘Em With Kindness
While it’s tempting to snap at naysaysers with something equally as negative or nasty, the best way to approach these people is to kill them with kindness.

Seriously, they won’t know what hit them.

So if someone says something like, When are you going to do something to your hair?, you can reply with…

[laugh politely] It’s a good thing I know you better because if I didn’t, I could have sworn you were taking a jab at my hair.  The most liberating thing about being natural is that I am very comfortable letting my hair run free.  But anyway, I appreciate your concern.

2. The Irony of Rejection From Black Men
The one thing that really bothers me about men who do not like natural hair is they often have kinky hair just like us.

So the next time he criticizes your hair, be sure to ask him why it’s OK for his hair to be natural, but not OK for you.

I must’ve missed the memo that says women must straighten their hair to be “pretty” but men can remain natural and still look handsome.

Something’s just not right about that.

Having said that, I don’t blame men for their opinions and preferences.  Everyone has a right to like what they like and most of us unconsciously learn to define beauty by what society instills in us at a very young age thanks to the media.

Also remember, you cannot force someone to like your hair.  Some men will never, ever like natural hair and that’s their right no matter the reason.

Just know there are plenty of men out here who will love you for you.

3. Dealing With Those Who Think Only Certain People Can Be Natural
This one burns me up.  What people are really saying is if your hair is extra kinky or not wavy and defined, then you shouldn’t go natural.

Even though a lot has changed in recent years, there are many people who still believe this.

Simply respond by saying,

I believe everyone can go natural, it’s just that society has programmed many people to believe that only certain hair types are more acceptable.  That’s OK.  I’m going to learn to love whatever grows out of my head.

natural-girl

4) Dealing With Concerned Loved Ones

Sometimes loved ones can be the most hurtful.  Not all of their comments are mean-spirited, but they can still hurt.  Some of this stems from their own fears.

For example, if your mom has relaxed hair and doesn’t particularly like natural hair, she may try to discourage you from transitioning.

First, explain why this is important to you and take some time to watch some YouTube videos from naturals with heads of healthy, natural hair.

A lot of people aren’t even aware of the possibilities with natural hair — especially if they have had relaxed hair most of their lives.

Plus, hair products have come a long way and managing natural hair is not what it used to be.

And if you’re getting push-back from a significant other after you’ve explained what this journey means to you, pay attention here.

If they threaten to leave, you just learned a lot about your relationship right there.

5) Time to Look Inward

As I mentioned up top, your self esteem will be tested during this journey, and you will learn a lot about yourself.

It’s OK to admit you’re scared or that negative comments bother you.

This is no surprise given the fact we are taught at a very young age that our hair needs to be straight to be pretty.

You just have to unlearn some of the things you were unconsciously taught as a child.

Here are some tips to help you stay motivated…

  1. Subscribe to YouTube channels of people who have hair like yours.
  2. Join a community with other transitioners and naturals for support.   This can be really helpful if you have no one in your personal life who supports you.
  3. Be patient and understand that it will take time for you to get used to your new look.
  4. Remind yourself that you will never make everyone in your life like your hair, but those who really care about you will support you even if they don’t like your decision.
  5. Remember that your hair texture may not be wavy and curly.  The faster you learn to accept this, the easier the journey will be.  Don’t waste energy trying to transform your hair into a texture you don’t have naturally.  Learn to embrace your kinks.  I know it’s often easier said than done, but you’ll get there.
  6. If you’re a teen, I wrote an article just for you.  Teens often get double the criticism because of unsupportive parents and/or having to deal with teasing at school.

 

Ladies, have you experienced criticism for your natural hair? How did you deal with it?

 

Lisa Irby is an Internet Entrepreneur who transitioned to natural hair for 18 months without a big chop.  She created NapturallyCurly.com to provide motivation, inspiration and advice for women transitioning to natural hair.

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Jeannette
Jeannette
6 years ago

Although for me being natural has never been an issue and perhaps if it were for someone I know, they were smart enough to never address their issues with me. However, I LOVE the response you gave to Men who don’t like natural hair!

Thiago
6 years ago
Reply to  Jeannette

Now I feel stpidu. That’s cleared it up for me

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I’ve never really had an issue, either. I started in a new city so everyone I chill with now has always known me with natural hair.

I do get comments on my dreads occasionally, though, like when am I going to retwist and what am I going to do with it. As a freeformer, I chalk it up to not knowing even better. Even other dreads don’t know much about freeforming. It’s not the norm.

Dotty
Dotty
6 years ago

No.3 sadly there are a lot of naturals who think this way still. You only need to look at hair boards and youtube comments to see it.

gapch
gapch
6 years ago
Reply to  Dotty

so true, i was wondering why the title didnt include negative naturals in the list.…

Natasha
Natasha
6 years ago

I get comments occasionally about my hair. From a girl saying that they just want to relax it for me to a guy calling me “dry head”. Funnily enough, the girl is admittedly too ashamed to reveal her own hair and the guy ended up having a crush on me and trying to hook up! Nonetheless, this is one thing in my life that I feel so strongly about. I love my natural hair so much that no foul comment can make me relax my hair or put on a straight weave. I can handle being laughed at for being… Read more »

Michele
Michele
6 years ago
Reply to  Natasha

I can handle being laughed at for being me than to be laughed at for trying to be someone else.”

Such a profound statement!

Rain
Rain
6 years ago

I usually ignore it or state I’m free to do what I want with my hair but if it gets too much I say “this is the hair God gave me, He created it differently for a purpose, if He thinks it’s ok I am ok with it too, for I am not one to go against my Creator and claim he made a mistake — God does not make mistakes!” All the while adding heavy emphasis and implying that they sound like they know better than God. This tends to quieten them down real quick or they change tactic… Read more »

Elaine
Elaine
6 years ago

Recently after what 4 year dr so of being natural I’ve had women say (one repeatedly and at a party) if my hair looked like that I’d go natural. I tried the it takes time, I’ve been natural for years, some days it does it’s own thing, but it does work. It makes me feel awkward. Ideas?

Icil
Icil
6 years ago

What is most confusing is that black people are the ones that comment!I usually wear my natural 4c hair braided or in some protective style during the week but love to wear twist/braid outs on weekends a very close family member recently told me outright she didnt like my hair…my response…well i luv it! and i moved on no sense wasting time is how i see it. Another odd thing is how fellow blacks ask you when they see your natural hair what you plan to do with it…i don’t ever get that one I am not planning anything I am… Read more »

just another girl
just another girl
6 years ago

ahhh i’ve never had a prob w/ number 2, but ppl always have an issue w/ my hair, even as it grows they go “ohhh so when are you going to relax/creme it?” and even if they like my texture (kinky/curly/sumn else all together mix) they still expect to see it straightened soon :/ even saturday i saw my aunt, who’s a hairdresser, even though my hair is APL, in its twisted form (i only measure by twists ><) her immediate response was “oi, youre ready for my to creme your hair now, come to me anytime”..its like theyre out… Read more »

Pat
Pat
6 years ago

@ jusanothergirl, you Jamaican don’t? Same thing happened to me? It’s like almost everyday someone would comment on my hair. My sister loved it but my mother and brother kept offering to pay for my relaxer- they seriously everyday would ask me what’s up with my hair. My sister practically begged me not to, she’s natural under her weaves (unintentionally transitioned) but I ended up creme-ing it and then immediately regretted it. It looked lovely, but my hair lacked personality- I ceased to be unique. So here I am 10 months into a new transition (after completing a year transition… Read more »

lahblooplah
lahblooplah
6 years ago
Reply to  Pat

LOl my best friend is Jamaican and her fam does the same thing even though she has really loose tracy ross curls. I just find it funny yall using terms like “oi” and “creme” the hair cuz i hear it from her side so much haha.

just another girl
just another girl
6 years ago
Reply to  Pat

yes yes 😀 i am, but it’s soo sad that the reactions have to be like that

TMarie
TMarie
6 years ago

I think its jealousy. Sometimes its subconscious. Many think a black woman is not supposed to have long, strong healthy hair so they must seek and destroy by telling you to get a relaxer. Its like when someone loses weight after being heavy. Many times people get jealous of that and want to tell them they need to eat, or offering them cookies and donuts, lol. Or don’t give away those bigger clothes you might need them. People are real funny like that. I have a friend whose mother said that Obama couldn’t be president because a black man is not… Read more »

Genie
Genie
6 years ago

These responses cracked me up. Unfortunately, they wouldn’t work on my anti-natural parents. If I ever attempted to wear a fro they would kick me out of the house. I am truly ugly to them. It is discouraging, but I still remain beautiful to myself, which is all that matters.

Then there are the aunties who offer to ‘do’ my hair for me, which of course means getting weaves or braids. They can get persistent, but I can handle them.

just another girl
just another girl
6 years ago
Reply to  Genie

Of course you’re beautiful 😀 i can’t see you, buut i feel it 🙂 and eh, people will always try to discourage others, just keep moving forward, 😀 you’ll only feel good about yourself if you do wht makes you happy :3 so whip em w/ yo’ kinkycoilycurlified mane! booyah

Genie
Genie
6 years ago

Thank you. 8D

Nitu
6 years ago
Reply to  Genie

Thanks for spending time on the computer (witgrni) so others don’t have to.

Heather
Heather
6 years ago

I love Lisa! Smart sister. She is the reason I was able to transition 16 months without the aide of wigs, weaves, braids, or heat.

TS
TS
6 years ago

I let my progress do the talking. Pull down a strand of what looks like ear length hair, down to my armpit, and everyone shuts up 🙂

Talkin bout natural hair cant grow…

JENNID
JENNID
6 years ago

The best thing to do is keep on keeping on.if they see that their words don’t phase you they’ll leave you alone. A lot of our people believe natural hair is not acceptable as is cause its the way we have been taught. No one should have to defend their right to wear their hair as is. In the beginning of my journey I said nothing. When they have mess to say bout my hair I picked it out bigger the next day and kept cheesen like I won the lottery. I went natural for me and my own personal… Read more »

LBell
LBell
6 years ago
Reply to  JENNID

*applause* Every time I hear about women having to deal with critical family members, SOs, co-workers, church members, etc. I realize just how fortunate I was/am to have largely avoided that drama. When I decided to BC I told maybe three people…and I didn’t ASK their opinion; I TOLD them I was going natural. After I did it — and showed up with literally a half-inch of hair — it became a case of “those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” Those who did mind at least had the decency to keep it to themselves. And… Read more »

honeybrown1976
honeybrown1976
6 years ago

I’ve dealt with 2 and 3. Men accepting my hair because of my light skin tone and assuming I’m mixed (despite have two black parents) and those that are okay because I have, well you know the rest of that creepy phrase.

I’m 37 years old. At this stage of my life, my resolve to do what I want and feel is stronger than ever. I dare anyone to challenge me.

MISSJC
MISSJC
6 years ago

I don’t understand why or how an adult woman’s hair or any person’s hair is every bodies business. There is no way natural hair can be ugly or unacceptable it’s how you were created. since when is hair that has been purchased and sewn in or glued on you head better than what organically grows out of your scalp. I’ve only heard black people speak badly about natural hair so sad, I’ve been natural 4 years and have received more negative than positive comments but I’m a grown 30 year old woman I take care of my hair and myself… Read more »

Pat
Pat
6 years ago

I’m so sick of black men and their issues with natural hair even though they wear their own natural hair that God gave then. It’s so ironic but if a man loves you for you the hair will not be an issue at all. I also know of some black men that don’t like straight hair either on black women saying that it doesn’t look right either. They are a tough bunch of men to please!!

DarkNPetite
DarkNPetite
6 years ago
Reply to  Pat

true, a headache!

iammastar21
iammastar21
5 years ago
Reply to  Pat

Sweetie you have to understand black men are the only race of men who were brainwashed and conditioned to hate themselves , their kinky hair , and hate their woman . Just like we were too. Black men are killed in america everyday and are seen as a constant threat ! So they have alot on their plate .

BrittneyB
BrittneyB
6 years ago

I mostly got negative comments from my mother, I went natural at 21 I’m 26 now I wanted to learn how to take care of my natural hair I was relaxed since the age of 13 and I was sick of it, honestly I feel more like myself if that makes since I love my hair I take the good with bad when it comes to other people because the final say so is mine, mine is the only opinion that matters. Keep in mind that you are beautiful because you were created in the lord’s image, you are not… Read more »

Amma Mama
6 years ago
Reply to  BrittneyB

#LookatGod #WonheDOit

*Tamar voice*..lol

Leela Moore-Blackwell
Leela Moore-Blackwell
6 years ago

As women especially black women in American we need to define beauty for ourselves because society is already against us our noses, hips, butts, dark skin, and kinky hair are called ugly. which we know is a lie to me there is nothing more beautiful than a woman with her real hair, nose, eyes etc. Your hair is your crown, I’ve been natural for 7 years (I’m 31)and my daughter is 5 years old I will never perm her hair my husband said one of the reasons he approached me is because I didn’t have a weave, I know I… Read more »

Zenith
Zenith
6 years ago

I think the attacks on black women in the media are geared at encouraging the further degradation of the black female image. As more and more black women accept, embrace and honor their uniqueness and ignore the standard attempts to denigrate black female beauty, mainstream society will feel threatened. After all, if your esteem has been built on ‘creating’ an audience for yourself by denying the beauty of others and promoting/marketing one type of beauty, you would feel threatened and maybe lost if the tides shifted. Black women are starting to embrace health, fitness and beauty in a way that… Read more »

Pat
Pat
6 years ago

Amen Leela!!

TMarie
TMarie
6 years ago

Funny thing Leela, I went into a hair supply store and in the counter case were fake butts and hips. So I said to the dude behind the counter “Do people actually buy those?” He said “like you wouldn’t believe”. So a few weeks later I’m on my ritual 2 week pedicure and this white girl walks in the spa. Average size about 5′6″, size 4. She had the largest butt pads on that I have ever seen. Her butt was bigger than K.Michelle. this is with no exaggeration. It was situated so it wasn’t symmetrical or proper. It was… Read more »

stephanieb
stephanieb
6 years ago

Leela Moore-Blackwell, one of the best comments that I’ve EVER read on this website!! I’d give you a thousand thumbs up if I could 🙂 If hair like lamb’s wool is good enough for our Lord and Savior then it is DEFINITELY good enough for me, and I don’t care what anybody else has to say about it!!!!

Ms. Vee
Ms. Vee
6 years ago

Number 1 has happened to me by an aunt of mine. She would nit-pick and compare my hair to that of a brillo pad. Fortunately my confidence was too high to give a damn (not to mention that her hairline was dead and hair fried from relaxer)and nothing about her hair impressed me. I’m of pure West African stock and have the typical comb breaking 4c kinks that mainstream might never love (like i care lol). I can’t say black men have had a problem. I’ve recieved a lot of compliments from them about my hair. But i wont deny… Read more »

Thatgirlwitdabighair
Thatgirlwitdabighair
6 years ago
Reply to  Ms. Vee

I’ve been natural my whole life but i did a big chop when i went to nigeria. A year later, my hair really started growing, and my aunt said “when are u going to get a relaxer??? her daughter got a relaxer since she was 3. she’s 13 years old and bald headed. fast foward another year, my hair was really getting huge, and i was rocking a blow out. While i was running my fingers through my hair at my cousin’s house, my other aunt said “Your hair is so beautiful! imagine how much prettier it would be if… Read more »

Tracen
6 years ago

You get a lot of respect from me for writing these helpful arstilec.

Zenith
Zenith
6 years ago

The irony is that some of the same people who complain about natural hair, also complain about the smell of permed hair and the look of a weave. I’d like to know, what these types of people would deem an acceptable hairstyle for a black woman. I have a feeling that they just do not believe black women, as an entity, can be attractive. The issue, therefore, is on them. Who has time to do therapy on someone else because they have deep seated issues OR a preference which is based on society’s programming of their weak mind and splintered… Read more »

cacey
cacey
6 years ago

one thing’s for sure, that just because a person has gone natural doesn’t mean their mindset about natural hair has necessarily changed for the better. case in point. my aunt. she had permed hair for most of my life (at least 20 years, as i’m 23), so recently she’s gone natural, about a year or two now. she has told me several times that my texture of hair is better than hers, saying it’s “that good hair”, and that on our side of the family everyone has good hair (loose curls) because of our indian ancestry, and then she looks… Read more »

Roo
Roo
6 years ago
Reply to  cacey

I couldn’t agree with you more! A friend of mine went natural and she still has backwards views on ‘good hair’ and hair that is too kinky to go natural etc

missLynnder
missLynnder
6 years ago

Before I did my bigchop,my friend urged me not to cut my hair, because she said I would look funny, and I believed her*lol
A few months later,I stumbled upon this site and I cut my hair that same day. It hasn’t been easy,because Nigerians are very ignorant when it comes to natural hair. So ignorant that they tag you bush and unsofisticated when you wear your natural hair. In their books, the longer the weave, the more sophisticated the lady*rolls eyes

ibukun
ibukun
6 years ago
Reply to  missLynnder

Had the same issue few days ago. I’m currently transitioning. I’m staying in Nigeria for christmas and decided to do a sew-in. The hairdresser refused to make my hair at first saying that she had to put perm after telling her not to. I almost stormed out of the salon out of anger. I actually do not listen to the opinions of other people if I have made up my mind but it is really hard to continue with all the criticisms.

Tasila Mkwayaya
Tasila Mkwayaya
6 years ago
Reply to  missLynnder

I’m a Zambian I was natural most of my life until my stepmom permed my hair. It went from 23 inches (11 years old) to 2–3 inches. After my hair fell out my self esteem wilted. I was constantly teased for having short hair and I refused to get any faux hair in my head since it felt so fake. But now I’m 17. All the people who teased me still have neck length PERMED hair. My hair is even longer than before (thank God) it’s 34 inches (I know unbelievable right?)

Karik
6 years ago

These topics are so connusifg but this helped me get the job done.

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What liberating knowledge. Give me liberty or give me death.

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6 years ago

Play informative for me, Mr. internet writer.

odette
odette
6 years ago

some people can be so nasty. I grew out my straight hair because the hair at the crown was wispy and if I did not do that, I would definitely had a bald spot at the side of my head. It took almost two years but I had big, plentiful, frizzy curls that people actually loved. I had a sister however who was so nasty about it. She would always be “smelling something” and it was always my hair, even when I washed it. Even black women can be nasty about natural hair. Now my hair is texturized with child… Read more »

lahblooplah
lahblooplah
6 years ago

Honestly, I dont think we should take natural hair dissenters or whatever that seriously. You have to understand where they are coming from. As an African, i grew up in a community where african was always in braids and if it was out it was in an afro, usually a blowdried or combed out fro, and that was like what, the 80s? As far as I remember, haircare meant washing ur hair, combing it out and it hurts so much (i’m still tender headed to this day) and then applying lots of grease in order to make braiding smooth. By… Read more »

Jesse
Jesse
6 years ago

I think no matter what your natural hair situation is (big chop, transition, APL, BSL) as long as you rock your hair with confidence, it doesn’t matter what anyone has to say. I especially like to rock my afro when I want to command attention and conjure confidence with my hair. Just wear whatever natural styles make you feel amazing.

Mac
Mac
6 years ago

I have a feeling some of my experiences have been extreme and abnormal, but this has bothered and baffled me for a while. I’ve had reactions across the spectrum that I just find weird and very disheartening. There are men who will approach me positively about my hair, and then segue into denigrating women with relaxed hair as though I’m supposed to agree and join in with gossip or something. One man speaking to me (uninvited) at a bus stop became angry and loudspoken when I pointed out that I own a flatiron and use it from time to time, and… Read more »

Mac
Mac
6 years ago
Reply to  Mac

(I realize I’m approaching the topic from a weird angle here, but I think these reactions were also sort of twisted up in a weird way that was still positioning me in a place where I was somehow meant to beg approval for my own body. I’ve been upset about this for a while. I don’t think I realized I was this upset before I started typing.) (I have shared the story before, here, of the coworker who badgered me about my bun for ten minutes and finally referred to my swearing off the iron for a while and embracing… Read more »

kat
kat
6 years ago
Reply to  Mac

Wow you guys are brave
People are ignorant
My heart is with you
But please know that for every arrogant closed minded person that has the gall to offer his/her opinion when it matters there are 10 people silently admiring and getting strength from your look. I am one of those people,
Remain a lady
The arrogant people will look back and regret their actions with hindsight

Mac
Mac
6 years ago
Reply to  kat

Thank you!

Jay
Jay
6 years ago
Reply to  Mac

Wow. My heart goes out to you too. I would be upset as well. I don’t know where some people get the idea that they have the privilege to harass others. The first scenario you shared, to me, is criminal.

Anyway, I hope you find peace within all that stupidity. Please know that the problem is definitely within them, not you. You don’t need to prove anything to them, and it’s dumb that they won’t accept that.

Mac
Mac
6 years ago
Reply to  Jay

Thank you!

idavoyder
idavoyder
6 years ago
Reply to  Mac

Mac, you better be careful out there. You have some really messed up people. And i’m speaking of both men and women. More and more I’m seeing people who even think that they are owed something by people they’ve never seen before. I don’t know if it’s the stress of the times that we live in or what, but i’m seeing more and more of it lately. People ranting and raving about people being together who are of different races, people ranting and raving about opening and holding doors for people and not being given any money for doing so,… Read more »

Mac
Mac
6 years ago
Reply to  idavoyder

People are getting really, really angry in this country and it is SCARY. I think it would make more sense if these particular black men got mad at stop-and-frisk and the prison industrial complex than at the black women who are enduring beside them. I don’t know.

THANK YOU, all. Very much. It really helped to get that off my chest!

Stella WaAfrika
6 years ago

To be honest. I don’t have a care in the world what people’s perceptions/opinions/two cents are about my natural hair. Growing up, I had natural hair and majority of the people I was surrounded by also had natural hair so for me, I’ve never thought of a natural look as something not flattering. Its always been the ideal look and what I knew. This went on until my second year in high school, rocking my natural hair with pride and not for one day did I feel less presentable or insecure. Then towards the end of 2nd year in high… Read more »

cho10
cho10
6 years ago

this article is absolutely perfect.

MichelleF
MichelleF
6 years ago

It’s best to ignore them all and what I usually do is tell myself that I have WAY better things to do with my time than cuss-out an idiot. I’m serious, if I responded to every person who said something nasty to me, I’d be on my last legs and wouldn’t have done anything proper with my life.
If the person really pisses me off, I may revert to my teenage ways and answer back but now I hardly bother.

Ami
Ami
6 years ago

All I came here to say is that any “black man” or other variety of human that does not like my hair can choke on my big ass curly hair balls when I’m done detangling…

Jay
Jay
6 years ago
Reply to  Ami

That was beautiful. xD

looool
looool
5 years ago
Reply to  Ami

Legend

nicimac
6 years ago

i just simply say to anyone, “Why do I have explain how my hair grows out of my head? No other group of women ever have to explain why their hair grows and that they should do something completely un-natural to it. I guess you should ask GOD.”

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Andre C. Hatchett
6 years ago

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Andre C. Hatchett
6 years ago

I love when The Queens are natural. There’s nothing better ladies. Brother Dre
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Ceecee
Ceecee
6 years ago

I started my natural hair journey my junior year of high school, so almost three years ago. My mother was very upset and angry. I just couldn’t understand because it is my hair. And when I actually cut off all of my remaining relaxed hair which she did for me, the mean jokes started. It was very hurtful to the point where I regretted even starting the journey. I wasn’t expecting her to praise me because my mother and I weren’t close (we are now since I left for college), but I was not expecting her to say hurtful stuff… Read more »

Aliyah
Aliyah
5 years ago

I went natural my first year of college . A couple of months after I started college . I’m on both sides . My friends and my grandma said I had ” good hair ” and said it was nice and soft . My grandma is natural too but had been natural longer and has longer hair . On the other hand , my brothers and mom disapproved . Calling my curly afro “nappy “. They asked when am I going to do my hair and when am I going to perm again ? They also made jokes about my… Read more »

Aliyah
Aliyah
5 years ago

Also my brothers use to tell me I needed a weave and a perm. They also told me I didn’t have real curly hair because my curls were tight and afro textured . They told me the only accepted curly hair was the loose big silky curls that mixed girls,white girls ‚and Latina girls have . They even show me images of mixed Brazilian girls saying that’s the only curly hair acceptable but they think my hair is still better than theirs but it’s not acceptable . They even put our mixed cousins above us . Well the rest of… Read more »

Aliyah
Aliyah
5 years ago

That’s me with my curly afro

JJ802
JJ802
5 years ago

Ugh. When I started my natural hair journey, my entire family made fun of me and kept telling me I looked African and would tease me with the dialect as I did my hair routines. Honestly, I was disgusted for them. I don’t understand/like African jokes towards me, period, I’m Jamaican and I am who I am, and all black is rooted from Africa. I dealt with it by just not paying any attention to their remarks because at the end of the day, when I’m ready to go out, nobody can’t deny that I look damn good. My confidence… Read more »

Johanna
Johanna
4 years ago

My Jamaican bf prefers natural hair, but he’s been programmed so long by family and society with certain beliefs that now and then he still pipes up with comments of telling me I look wild or that I have “bad head” etc. I’m slowly teaching him to break away from that mindset and to even accept his own hair, which he, apparently, didn’t like too much before. He’s improving, but I must say, black guys can be cold lol. Then, there is family. Even when the women in my family grudgingly accept natural hair, the next problem becomes “make it… Read more »

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