By Lurie Daniel Favors of Afro State of Mind
We’ve all seen this image circulating on natural hair group facebook pages, instagram accounts and twitter:
And if you’re like me – one of your first reactions was probably to laugh. To the point of howling. But I have to admit that after I laughed I felt…off. I’ve debated with whether or not to forward or “like” the image.
After all – who doesn’t like a good “natural hair” joke?
But I’ve always decided to keep my laughter at this image personal, quite and only behind my own doors. Why? Because despite the fact that it’s hilarious at first glance, the message it sends is one of the most potentially harmful circulating within the Black community.
The message conveyed by this picture, which features a brown skinned Black girl crying for hair like the lovely Tracee Ellis Ross, is at the heart of many of the issues that prevent Black women from loving the hair they have.
We all know there is a hair type and skin color hierarchy in the Black community. And we’d be lying if we didn’t recognize that instead of transcending this hierarchy in the natural hair movement – many naturals have unconsciously adopted, embraced and even perpetuated this way of thinking.
A Certain “Type” of Natural
Many of us want natural hair – but only if it looks like Sister Tracee’s.
Many of us with kinky hair spend hours of our lives searching for youtube videos of women with looser, “definable” curls and yearn for the day we find a product that will make our nappy hair look more like mixed girl hair.
There is, after all, a reason that some of the highest rated youtube natural hair videos feature multi racial women with hair that could never be described as anything close to kinky or nappy.
There are reasons why natural hair stylists bemoan the fact that many natural heads come to the salon looking for miracles that will transform their kinky, nappy strands into hair that is…neither kinky nor nappy.
We may want to be natural. But some of us only want a certain “type” of natural. This desire was at the heart of my youthful run ins with the Jheri Curl. Le Sigh!
As I’ve noted before:
A lot of girls who grew up believing that they had “bad” hair (or a very tight, coily or kinky curl pattern) spent their early years longing for “good” hair (or hair closer to the texture of Europeans) that could blow in the wind… Many of us grow up wishing we had lighter brown skin – often times regardless of how light or dark brown our actual skin color already was.
I’m as guilty of this as anyone. As I describe in my book,
I have vivid memories of coming home from church on Sundays and my sister and I would put our crinoline slips or stockings on our heads. We tied them on with belts or string so that the soft material could brush against our shoulders the way we imagined straight long hair did. I wanted hair like the White girls had—but I would have settled for hair like my sister’s. Naturally, my sister was also impacted by these messages and despite the fact that relatively speaking, she already had “good” hair, in our childhood games she wanted hers to be straighter too.
We Have the Power to Change This
This is not about pointing fingers. It’s about recognizing that until we change the thoughts that are in our heads it will be very challenging to embrace the hair that is on our heads. It will be difficult to convince our children that they should love the skin they are in and the hair that they wear if so many of us are secretly nursing the desire for hair closer to the kind of hair that grows from our White sisters’ heads.
That’s why I was elated to see this video response to the image from Tracee Ellis Ross where she calls for a “hair love” campaign. Ms. Ross saw this picture and like many of us she laughed and felt flattered—at first.
But as she noted in her video:
At the same time I don’t want you to want my hair…and the reason I don’t want you to want my hair is I’m of the school of love what you got…For me, the reason my hair was such a battle is because I was trying to make it something it wasn’t. I wanted the hair that somebody else had. And because of that I was damaging my hair, trying to beat it into submission, trying to make it something it wasn’t, trying to make it slip into my face unconsciously. I was trying to do all of those things to it and as a result I was ruining and damaging the hair that I was given.
Can the church say “Amen”?
Ms. Ross ends her video by calling for participants in a Hair Love campaign (details on how you can participate below).
See it doesn’t matter how straight, “good” or “mixed” your hair may look. If you are a woman (or man) of African descent you are being targeted with messages that tell us we will never be good enough until we look whiter or have straighter hair. Many of us harbor a little Black girl inside who still fails the doll test. Many of us still buy into a default pattern of thinking that strives to be “just as good as” our White brothers and sisters.
And if you are a Black woman (or man) who wants something better for our kids than what we had then you owe it to yourself, your sisters, your mothers, your aunties, your grandmas, your children, nieces, nephews, husbands, uncles, grandpas and everyone else in your family and community to challenge these beliefs whenever they rear their ugly heads.
So consider this my endorsement of Tracee Ellis Ross’ Hair Love campaign. PLEASE PARTICIPATE!!! All you have to do is go to youtube and upload a video that describes your hair in 5 words or less, and explain why you love it.
It’s that easy. Sometimes we make things more complicated than they have to be. Imagine the love little Black girls and boys may feel when there are thousands of videos on the net describing how awesome Black hair is?
I’ll be discussing this issue more in depth at my book release event on June 30, 2013 (click here for details). Hair and color are so intertwined in our collective experience that I’m looking forward to sharing excerpts of my book that directly address these topics. I hope you can join us!
Here’s the video. Thank you Tracee!
Ok seriously, am i the only one who was fantasizing about having a big, kinky fro-like hair before going natural?
You’re not haha. I’ve always loved fros (and was therefore pleasantly surprised to see my 4c new growth) but I feel like this mindset still prevails in many people’s minds.. I hear people talking about “pease” and “naps” constantly, to which I reply, “My entire head of hair is comprised of naps :)”
Lol. No! I always wanted to wear my hair in huge pigtail afro puffs high on my head…but my mother would never let me do it because she said I liked look a picaninny. ::Sigh:: I love that I went natural and was able to love my curls and kinks, but I think more parents need to realize self hate starts at home.
I can totally emphasise on that.
Yea I didn’t want to always wear my hair in cornrows, I just wanted to wear it out. I was told no its going to get dry and tangled. Sad face. Once I combed my little cousins hair is several small puffs with a few two strand twists and our grandmother complained and said the same thing. As if the pound of grease already in the hair was just going to evaporate.
Thats not necessarily the hair I wanted before going natural, I wanted some easy wash and go hair (didnt have to be ‘loose’ textured or what not but just EASY *didnt happen*) NOW, I rock the roughest toughest biggest braidouts that look like an afro with some hang and some frizzy coil definition. AKA nothing like Ms. Ross but I wouldnt want anything else! I mean the hair is fierce and I’m so proud of it!! 🙂
No you weren’t the only one. I dreamt about that too and I’m very close to it
[img]https://bglh-marketplace.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/20130521_015112.jpg[/img]
🙂
No, you’re not alone. I was natural back in my youth and thought I’d have the same big ‘fro now. But now my hair is thinner, and doesn’t hold a big afro anymore. I’ve been so disappointed but now I’m just trying to adapt and enjoy whatever my hair can do now. Every day is something different.
Sad but truth is in every paragraph. My biggest issue is the women who will hold onto that make a wish permed to the crisp ponytail talknbout “I’m afraid to big chop I would look ugly without hair” Bish you barely holding on to the two follicles you have.…the mindset is so engrained its not called creamy crack for nothing. Folks be strung out and uneno it. Better off just making what comes out if your head look good.
Lmfao…you’re so wrong (yet so right) for that!
I am mixed and not all of us have that ‘good’ or ‘easy’ kind of hair. Yes it has little defined ringlets but it isn’t easy (or I haven’t found the right products)for me to manage. Maybe I’m just ignorant of how to take care of it or wear it but I try my best. It can’t hold a fro and it’s not white hair for sure (which btw is fine with me!)but some strange hybrid that doesn’t seem to want to retain length easily. So please, PLEASE let’s not think there is anything to envy about anyone’s hair or… Read more »
I really wish there was a platform to reach the world and put certain stereotypes to rest! Like let me interrupt this Scandal episode for a special black announcement LOL. But I agree with you & to comment further, I really don’t feel there is a such thing as “mixed girls hair” or stereotyped “white people features”. The blue eye began in Africa, originally with one african woman that can be traced back directly to her 10 descendents that scattered throughout Africa and Europe. It is a mutation just like red heads/red hair. What’s funny is its actually more of… Read more »
Excellent comment.
Of course all blacks/ africans do not have the features conventionally associated with the continent as a whole. However, that does take away from the fact that the blacks who do have this phenotype may experience a distinct social and material outcome because of it. I can appreciate this argument, however, I think in 2013 most people understand that there is very little biological basis to race. We also know that some africans look like Alek Wek and some look like Iman and some look like Hota Kotb. The problem is that, even in 2013, a different social status would… Read more »
That’s so true!! I heard Chris Rock found out he was 25% white genetically on one of those shows.
True…Black People from South America, Caribbean and the West Indies are also mixed up.(Due to slavery).…;(.There you have over 30 ways of calling someone Black/Mixed Mulatto etc…
Out of many, one people.This is the motto for Jamaica.We have long accepted our mixed ancestry and has been proud of it. You line up a group of Jamaicans from Colin Powell, Usain Bolt and Tyson Beckford. Every single one of them has a different shaped nose, different coloured skin and different texture of hair. And yet when you talk to some black people about their mixed ancestry, some people have said this is is black people in denial of their african roots. When I worked in the haematology labs you would occasionally get white people with the sickle trait… Read more »
MichelleS, your hair looks and sounds a lot like mine. Try Shea Mousture Coconut and Hibiscus (orange label) products. Length retention is hard because your individual strands are probably very fine. To combat that you need to wear styles with your ends tucked in most days. You may want to check out Teri LaFlesh’s book, “Curly Like Me” or her website. She’s the only “hair guru” i found whose hair looks like mine.
Thank you Christina. I actually do have her book 🙂 and I use shea moisture products for both me and my two boys. My hair is longer now (that pic was taken about a year ago). Most days I do wear it in a protective style for the sake of the ends but it is still flat ironed once a week and I am ashamed of that. I hate doing that and I know my hair would be a lot longer now if I didn’t but it seems like wearing it natural and keeping it looking good for longer than… Read more »
I think there are those women who covet “mixed hair” because its seems easier to manage and many more who desire it because a higher social status is conferred upon it. That’s an important dynamic to keep in mind.
I understand Nneka. Truly. I just know even mixed girls like me are/have been been guilty of the same with others up until recently. And being on this site has helped me to embrace and love myself-all of myself-more fully. I just wish the same for everyone 🙂
This was a great read. I was one of those who envied and aspired to be like my looser-curled sistren (Tracee, Lisa Nicole Carson, Amel Larrieux, Cree Summer, etc). I went natural in college and for several years, I was trying every product and technique under the sun to get my 4c hair to look more like 3c (I even did the Miss Jessie’s “silkener” that I didn’t maintain very well so my hair became brittle and I had to cut it all off). The true evolution came when I embraced my natural texture AS IS, loving it in its most… Read more »
Honey, I don’t think Amel Larrieux has the hair you think she has. Sure its long, but I remember her stating in an interview that if she does not braid (no twisting for her) every night, it will mat up. Does that sound like someone with loose, curly hair to you? Don’t get me wrong, her hair is gorgeous! But, it may be a braid-out, rather her natural curl pattern you’re seeing!
This was a nice article to read. Before I saw my natural hair grow out, I just knew that I wanted big hair. So, now that my 4c hair can do big fluffy fro’s to wavy braidouts and everything in between or up(do), I’m just pleased with this whole natural hair journey. There were definitely times where I was confused about what exactly to do with my hair, but in the end you just have to make it work. Work what you have! That is why I like this campaign and this article. Confidence wins the day, everyday. So work… Read more »
I didn’t see the meme so deeply when I first read it. I didn’t read the meme as a dark black girl wishing she were less black. I saw it as a person who is starting their hair journey and is just lost. EVERYONE has been there. You chop off all of your hair and you expect to just wake up with gorgeous hair. In the meme, replace “Tracie Elise” with any of the amazing youtubers on the internet with all types of hair (Naptural85, The Gabe Fix, Fusion of Curls, Taren Guy) and I’d still laugh. Because when you… Read more »
Yes child!!!! Watch too any of them YouTube videos and you be strung out on blogs/vlogs buying every dang hair product tool kit box what have you. Shoot when I first started out I had to try every brand that was recommended by natural/beauty bloggers until I realized all of those products give their specific heads their results. I just had to persevere and find what works for me and this head in terms of cleansing conditioning styling and detangling. Even those naturals who share my same hair texture/porosity levels have different results. I just respect vlogs for pure entertainment… Read more »
yes, those vlogs are pure ENTERTAINMENT
I think it applies to women with type 4 hair ‚mainly 4c where that hair is hard to maintain,one man friend described his natural 4c girlfriends type as fingers going through a brillo pad~harsh.
Pathetic!
So rude and insesnsitive! I wonder what his texture is?
4c hair is not hard to maintain when you know the right ways to handle it. Feed a plant with the right food and it will grow!
I know,he was less educated because he has always went out with girls that had soft/wavy hair ‑hes half Asian..so that should explain it lol
sadly there are women that think like too. not sure why you got the thumbs down. when it’s true hence the point of this article
Yes sometimes people perceive things the wrong way,
I have too heard, women say similar things but I think slowly but surely many women are coming round to embracing their natural hair,its just getting the acceptance from the outside world may be harder.
well that might have been the case for her head of hair, but please don’t think that is the norm or has to be the norm for 4c hair. if 4b/c is defined as hair that has no definition, then that describes my son’s hair to a tee. no clumping whatsoever, but with the right products his hair becomes infinitely softer than my 3b/c. this is a false stereotype of type 4 hair and i would love if we put that bit to rest. if you show the hair- any hair type- love, it will flourish.
I realize that now , I think that all hair comes with issues and every day is different to the next like many others I hate that women with 4 type C hair often get stigmatized when I have seen many women with this type rock some wonderful styles..
Good hair, bad hair, it’s all good especially when it is YOURS! #numberonehaircrushisme
There is some truth in the paragraphs especially about naturals themselves often fuelling the curl hierarchy but that’s to be expected and proved in the comments of people like Maxine. We cannot deny that it doesn’t exist. It’s also true that a lot of women went/go natural with the image of having type 3 hair or 4a hair that shows defined curls rather than undefinable kinks. Youtube comments and even icon comments here reveal how much people want other people’s hair consciously or subconsciously. I don’t feel it’s good to hone in on girls with looser textured hair when you… Read more »
I agree with many of the things you said. All types of hair should be lifted up and highlighted, that is why I love BGLH features. Overall I dislike hair typing because its pretty useless in helping determine a hair regimen. Styling sure it kind of helps but when it comes to product selection porosity and other aspects of hair is way more important and it is almost impossible to know how similar your hair is to a YouTube person through the screen. I will have to disagree that there are not tightly coiled hair youtubers that are very popular.… Read more »
With all due respect those are 3c, 4a/4b and 4a girls who have curly hair. While one with their hair type can watch them and gain a lot from them, if you are a straight 4c or 4b, it is unrealistic to watch any of those girls and expect your hair to be the same. I know that a lot of the people on this list choose to wear their hair undefined and that can throw people when they are looking at someone’s hair into thinking it is like theirs I.e 4b/4c but it’s been manipulated to look undefined. Jouelzy… Read more »
Why does it feel like women with 4c hair are ALWAYS complaining? It’s like 4c hair is an exclusive club that nobody can even comment on unless they have 4c hair. Why can’t someone with tighter curls watch Naptural85 or anyone else for that matter? There are plenty of hair techniques that transcend ALL hair types. Curl pattern is useful in knowing that your styles will not turn out the same way. However, products, techniques (washing in sections, finger detangling), and many style (buns, braidouts, twist-outs) are used by all techniques! PLEASE stop complaining about your 4c hair. The way some… Read more »
However, products, techniques (washing in sections, finger detangling), and many style (buns, braidouts, twist-outs) are used by all hair types***!
I don’t think she meant harm IMHO. I agree with you on the idea that certain techniques are used by all hair types, but I also agree that “This categorisation of hair types does work as long as you don’t place one above the other.” I think when women transition, it IS helpful to find women on Youtube and in the media with the same texture as them. It’s comparable to why it’s important for little black girls to see Michelle Obama and Kerry Washington when they turn on the TV; we’ve all seen what happens when young girls of… Read more »
YES TIRED OF 4C GIRLS ACTING LIKE THEY THEIR TEXTURE IS THE KISS OF DEATH WHEN IT’S NOT
Nevermind, Stephanieb put it more succinctly than I could below. I wasn’t talking about complaining or giving any reason for you to cringe. I also said p.s not talking about the girls who loved their hair from the word go. I was talking about the people who felt like the article above describes. Sometimes things can get lost in translation here. It’s ok, we all have different opinions and that’s why we just do what works best for us.
well said, and i think it’s also worth mentioning that people with looser hair types can learn a lot from 4b/c hair gurus. I learned the art of finger detangling from my 4c roommate, who went natural a year after we met. She grew her hair out to bra strap length, and i’d never seen anyone handle their hair as gently as she handled hers. She also recommended two of my staple products that i swear by to this day- mane n tail conditioner and aussie moist. i found that even though my curls are very loose my texture is… Read more »
My hair isn’t 4c but I LOVE Jouelzy and GlamFun videos! I think you can learn a little something from everyone.
All you 4c girls might want to check out NaturalMe4c on YT. I’m not a 4c, but I watch her regularly. She is a sweet lady, who gives very helpful to tips (via tutorials) to other naturals with that hair type. Also, her whole family appears on her vlogs from time to time. The whole family is entertaining as hell! 🙂
I’ve never watched a YT video and had my hair turn out like the person’s I’m viewing…whether their texture was like mine or not. But I, for the most part, always ended up with something I liked. I learned very early on that expectations are the true enemy. You simply try different products and techniques, keep what you like and stay away from what you don’t. Simple as that. If you only watch videos of people with hair closer to your own, you’re still doing yourself a disservice when you expect your hair to turn out like theirs…and possibly missing… Read more »
That’s a good point. You’re 100% right. I have NEVER had my hair turn out like someone else’s even when I SWORE that their hair texture looked identical to mine. So true. Everybody is really different.
@Tina (her comment had no reply button 🙁 ) there you go again hollin at errbody with the caps. chill, chica!
this time i agree with you though.
Well, in truth, regardless of curl type — 4a,b,or c… none of those matter in how to maintain & grow healthy hair.
what matters is: texture- course or fine & porosity — High porosity , low porosity, regular porosity.
Then density comes into play at some point; which determines how much product you’ll need.
Other than that curl pattern is a wash unless you’re looking to styling options.
demipixie not tightly curled though
Tina Smith you seriously make me laught…The past few post you became much more positive!!
#she has a personality of her own#
i wanna add naturallycandy to the list. she’s not famous aaass much for her hair as she is for her personality, but she’s about 4b i believe. she easily gets like 30–80 thousand views per video or so.
I so agree NappyBuzz, regardless of hair type, we have to embrace with the good Lord gave us. I am definitely a 4b/c and when I went natural I too thought that I could find the right product and turn my hair into 4a all over, but I was totally wrong. There are products that make my hair more manageable and help keep it from breaking off as much, but there’s nothing to change the type of your hair permanently except some type of chemical or heat and we have to face the facts and stop frontin’. There is beauty… Read more »
TRUTH!
It’s good people are honest…my shock was that I expected 4c hair but have mixture of 4a/b and was surprised as I looked at my pictures when a child and it looked 4c but I love my hair and have no issues with it besides the shrinkage lol which can catch me off guard.
I can relate. I expected 4c because of the hair dressers I’ve been to for the years I was relaxing. They always felt the need to use the strongest relaxer which led me to believe I had bad hair. Looking at pictures of when I was a kid I’d notice I had beautiful hair. Honestly because I was getting relaxers I thought my hair texture changed as I got older. I cut my relaxed hair April 2013 and I absolutely love my natural hair. I love how it’s growing in and I love my poppin curls. I went into this… Read more »
look at your language. You thought your hair was “bad” because it needed a strong relaxer to get it straight. But then you looked at pictures of your youth and realized it was a looser curl than you’d previously thought, so “beautiful”…it’s great you love yourself but all of this is so sad. we are so brainwashed as women and the natural hair movement is same shit different day. I still can’t believe we say we can’t place one hair type above another, and yet they are labled that way. So the nappiest girls are graded a Fourth Place and… Read more »
I see what NappyBuzz is saying when I see comments like this, that language needs to change.
Her language doesn’t need to change, YOUR insecurities along with other black women need to change and stop getting our feelings hurt so easily. The truth of the matter is why is it when some feels good about their 4a/3c hair and call it beautiful you 4c women throw a pity party and get upset?? Also thee brutal truth (i know its hard to believe) but the word nappy will always exist just like good hair/bad hair will always exist! I’ve been natural my whole 17 years of living, the truth of the matter is Some people are blessed with… Read more »
This was my experience too. I assumed I would have 4b hair (which I wanted) didn’t know what 4c hair was at the time and came to realise I have a mix of 4a/4b/4c. Which has its own set of demands and makes my hair grow in a mullet type of shape, because some parts grow up and out and some parts have grown out and down. Don’t get me started on trimming, thinking I trimmed all my hair then finding a shrunken section that is unbelievably longer than the rest uncoiled because I trim my hair wet and it… Read more »
Meh. I had a lot of mixed friends growing up so I was very aware of how difficult caring for mixed hair can be. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.
I definitely loved, *ahem, ahem* mahoganycurls’ hair. But while doing my research prior to bc’ing, I made sure to research a wide variety of YT natural ladies. I loved what i saw. Each hair type can and will look good and be healthy with proper care. I’d abused my super fine strands with chemicals and heat long enough and i was thrilled to just love my hair for what it is. Kinky, nappy, frizzy, coily it is MINE and i love it.
Welp. Before going natural, I had no illusions about what kind of hair I had. I’d been told how thick and “bad” and “rough” my hair was my whole life. I still recall the sounds of disgust my hairdresser would make when relaxing my new growth. lol. Those black folks never let me forget just how nappy my hair was. But. As a kid I certainly wanted mixed girl hair. Of course I did. Considering how I was treated for having kinky hair, it would make sense to want the kind of hair everyone found acceptable. Then I wouldn’t have to… Read more »
I really appreciated reading your post and words of encouragement. Also, thanks for telling me about Antoinnette Tuff. What an amazing woman indeed!
Have a good day ladies!
I know I had to learn to accept me, just as God made me. From my hair to my feet. I had to deal with allowing myself to feel and be beautiful in my dark skin and kinky curly hair. I know that was the realization that helped me to embrace my natrual hair. The acceptance of my hair texture was achieved with the acceptance of me!
Nice article! When I first saw the meme, I thought someone had gotten a hold of a picture of myself. She looks just like me as child. So I didn’t think it was at all funny. It also reminded me of a time when I wanted that kind of hair only because the guys(black and white) liked biracial girls with this hair at my school. I had to compete with that hair. So the meme was painful and offensive. When I decide to chop my hair off, I had no idea what my hair texture was going to do ,… Read more »
GLORY THANK YOU FOR STATING WHAT NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR. LOOK AT THE YOUTUBERS THAT MOST POPULAR AND IT WILL BE A LOOSER CURL. GROWING UP THE ONLY THING NEGATIVE I WAS TOLD ABOUT MY HAIR FROM MY OWN FAMILY IS THAT IT’S TOO THICK. WHEN IT WAS STRAIGHTNED I WAS TOLD IT WAS SO PRETTY AND LONG. IN CORN ROWS NOT SO MUCH LOL. BUT THEY BEHAVIOUS AND HAIR ENVY AND COMPLEXION ENVY SADLY ARE TAUGHT. THE CYCLE MUST END. AND YES I AM SICK AND TIRED OF THE CURLY ENVY I WITNESS EVERY DAY ON YOUTUBE, FACEBOOK,… Read more »
I love natural hair.
I have big natural hair, but I find that I always tame it with putting it in big braids and then in a ponytail. I have friends (and boyfriends) that always convince me that i have beautiful hair and should just wear it out, but I always have it in my head that my hair wouldn’t look how I want it to look and also, i don’t want to be stared at. Mind you, I see all types of big hair and I love it, from curly to kinky, I love it all. I just wish I wasn’t so shy… Read more »
Start wearing your hair ‘out’ around the house, then when running about outside doing your chores. You’ll start to feel comfortable within your head about your own hair. Maybe then you’ll decide to go shopping, or out to lunch with friends, with your hair out. And don’t forget, you could always do a partial updo with your hair down in the back. The whole idea is to be comfortable with what you have on your own head, whether it is the big look or not…I always thought my hair would be a big rockin’ ‘fro but I’ve discovered that I… Read more »
I’ve never wanted anyone else’s hair because I’ve had too much fun (challenges) learning my own. I also never bought into the whole hair typing system because I felt that it was another way to divide us. I can say that there were times I wished my hair had the same length that another natural had.
I wrote once before on BGLH about this nonsense hair texture chart and was surprised to see that I got a lot of dislikes. Why; I asked myself? Why would people dislike an argument that says that type charting hair is useless at its base and quite offensive to black women in my opinion? Perhaps I did not explain myself well enough in that response to a BGLH article, so I will try again here. Hair charting is wrong in my opinion because once again here is something that puts black African people at the bottom of yet another list; and… Read more »
You received thumbs down because it was your opinion, the hair typing system does not make all of us feel how you feel. I was not raised with a “good hair, bad hair” mindset.. I never heard those words until I was actually grown and of course it was from other Black people. I personally do not like straight hair so the fact that it is 1 on the chart is irrelevant to me, it could be 100 and it would still be a problem but either way I would still not like straight hair. I’ve found that how people… Read more »
Actually I like you never grew up with the “good” hair “bad” hair mentality. As a matter of fact, I pretty much had no negative thoughts about my hair growing up-aside from the insecurities that one goes through being a young girl about all this physical. Also, My mom never permed my hair until I was about 14 years old and that was okay with me. I never got teased. I never felt out of place. I learned about the hair chart system not too long ago. It was actually earlier this year when I decided to go natural and started… Read more »
I agree with AC, you’ve read too much into this chart based on your own insecurities and biases. The chart was never designed to put one hair type above or below another, it was an easy way for a hair stylist to categorise his clients and utilise a shorthand to remember what their hair was like and what it needed. It was positive in its creation for that purpose. If anyone has warped this system it’s the very women who use it the most and cling to it for dear life, black natural women, sorry it’s the truth. You can… Read more »
The chart perhaps was not designed to put one hair above another but unfortunately it does. Clearly not you, but many others.
come to think of it, tho, most of the world has type 1 hair, followed by the other types. type 4 hair is the rarest of the types, so from that perspective, i can see why it would be farther down the list if we’re going off of pure numbers. just playing devil’s advocate. i can def see where the controversy is justifiable.
Now I feel out of place because I’ve never coveted anyone else’s type of hair…
I can relate to this article. When I was a young girl around the ages of 5–9, I always wanted long flowing hair as my Caucasian classmates. I complained to my mother why did my hair grow toward the sky instead of towards the ground? I remember my mother telling me how beautiful my hair was and that’s how Black/African people hair grows because we originally come from a warmer climate and that’s why our skin is darker also. At the age of 23, I embrace my natural hair even though I have ups and downs with my hair. I… Read more »
the girl in the picture is sooo pretty. hopefully she’s not bawling over hair…she could be bald and she’d still be cute!
It’s not just a looser texture to be like whites; many of us also want long hair to be like whites.
I suppose so. My only thing is that long hair isn’t just a European thing. That’s one of the standards of beauty for women in many cultures (such as with Indian women and Asian women). In other words long hair isn’t a European Beauty standard, it’s a generally held female beauty standard. That’s why I don’t think wanting long hair is a bad thing especially since it’s possible for women of all races to have long hair. It’s just that for some black women, it might mean that instead of hair that grows down, the length appears as more volume.… Read more »
Personally, I think the desire for long hair among black women is the impact of living within or being influenced by white western societal ideals and norms. If someone can prove that Africans have culturally prized and desired long hair then I will believe otherwise. We are not Asian or white women, why do some always seem to bring other races up as doing or liking something as to why it’s acceptable for black women to do it or black women to desire it? I’d like to hear what non diaspora black women have to say about this subject because… Read more »
I grew up In Africa and then had a chance to live in Europe. You are right in Europe long hair is seen as a big deal and women are taught to aspire to have long hair. And this also happens in Africa. I think one of the things that drives most black women to want long hair is that most black women dont have long hair. When people see a black women with long hair, its like a phenomenon. Something which is unheard of and unseen if you get what I mean. Plus most of the images we see… Read more »
You are correct Long hair is nothing to do with race,as one commentator just pointed out in Africa a black country ‚many women desire to have long hair because it’s not a race thing it’s a women thing A lot of European women aspire to the long length of hair because it’s seen as feminine,a women’s beauty is her hair the fact the people may have views that black women’s natural look is short hair is ridiculous when in fact as pointed out by another,many natural black women do have long hair but it’s not always so visible because of the… Read more »
You really think the CONTINENT of Africa is “a black country”?
OK,we all know its a continent but many people like to define it as country by location..
Again not every mixed girl has loose flowing curls and not every black girl has tight coils. Its such a misconception. How ones hair texture comes out is based on dna not the color of ones skin.
This is kinda sad in a way I will NEVER understand and for that I am thoroughly grateful.
SO this is my natural hair.The shot where its pinned and pulled back was cos I couldn’t get it into a big afro (and it was actually a white hairstylist who innovated the style).The other shot is one of me and my best friend (with the long curly/twisted hair).Just showing that all “natural” hair is different not just among women of colour but depending on the weather,the climate and I dont know,just a whole lot of things.This is what inspired me to go natural back in high school.I just wanted to see what it would look like and play around… Read more »
SO this is my natural hair.The shot where its pinned and pulled back was cos I couldn’t get it into a big afro (and it was actually a white hairstylist who innovated the style).The other shot is one of me and my best friend (with the long curly/twisted hair).Just showing that all “natural” hair is different not just among women of colour but depending on the weather,the climate and I dont know,just a whole lot of things.This is what inspired me to go natural back in high school.I just wanted to see what it would look like and play around… Read more »
I’m sorry, I can’t relate. I never thought my hair was going to be like Tracee Ross’ nor did I particularly want it to be. I respect you for sharing your experiences but I wish there were more stories from women who liked their hair just as it was and never wished it was someone else’s.
ok, um this is a good article, the comments are very interesting…BUT why are the comments so long? Are we writing a book ladies? perhaps a novel? lol…
I’m okay with the comment length, some are really interesting and informative but are all the photos necessary? When did that start happening? I scroll through the comments to read not look at pictures of strangers. Photos belong in the gallery.
When I was a child, I used to comb my hair down with and place a bandeau on it in hopes that it would stay fallen and flow in the wind. Much to my chagrin, with one gust, my hair was sticking up like I was one of the little rascals. I think in my natural journey, I’ve experienced the same kinds of expectations vs. realities where I would think I was going to wake up being a curly haired beauty when my 4c reality didn’t really scream soft flowy curls.
I’m mixed and my hair does not have defined curls at all and I LOVE IT THAT WAY. My hair is definitely influenced more by afro genes than by caucasion ones (if it has any influence from there at all). It was other women particularly those with weaved or straightened hair who were pressuring me to “define my curls” with this or that or wearing a twist out. I never understand the natural hair communitys desire for defined curls. It’s so beautiful as it is. Why is a curl definition valued and more acceptable then our natural undefined hair? I… Read more »
I feel you on this. People don’t understand lots of mixed ppl come out with kinky curly hair. But the Europeans got us believing all mixed have loose curls or waves. Not accurate.
Reading this I am so thankful for the way and place (because I think that can play a part in this ass well) I was raised. Surrounded by all kinds of people with all kinds of features, blacks, whites, asain etc. In my life there have only been a handful of times others made me feel awkward about the way I looked (dark skinned with 4c hair) because of their comments. It really didn’t affect me that much because I believed in my own uniqueness. I have always been proud about the way I looked. Always loved the kinky hair… Read more »
I like your comments Maureen.
I was born and raised in Africa and I currently live in Europe.I am very proud of my African features and my 4c hair. I really wish more and more black women will embrace their natural beauty (hair, skin color…everything).I have managed to get my mom and my sister in-law their BC a couple of weeks ago!!! They have made me proud…
I don’t remember how I viewed my hair when I was younger. My mom did my hair (she was a hair stylist) and I didn’t have to think too much. I saw her go from perms and weaves to braids and an afro and didn’t think much of it. As I got older, I did my own hair styles but my mom or a stylist did the color, chemicals and cut. The only exception is that I wanted to cut my hair short one time because I saw a girl with short curly hair, but my mom said my hair… Read more »
I never wanted white girl hair because I didn’t really have white friends. My dad made a huge deal about my mom NOT straightening my hair. What I did want was my mixed & Latina friends long pony tails. I would always want my mom to put the stucker knockers on my hair because in my mind when she did that it looked longer. By middle school my dad had past away so I was in the shop every other week get washed & pressed so I could pride myself in being a “regular black girl” with long hair. Sad… Read more »
I used to have hair envy but I had to learn to love what I got too. I have 4C hair and I got to the point where I realized my hair works with certain products and styles and not so much with others. I had to tell myself I am fearfully and wonderfully made and God didn’t make any mistakes — even as it relates to my hair. As long as I have healthy strands on my head to work with, I’ve learned to be just fine with my hair and focus on other things in my life I… Read more »
I don’t need to envy anyone’s hair. Not when I’m working with something that looks this good!!!
[img]https://bglh-marketplace.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/DSC00585.JPG[/img]
[img]https://bglh-marketplace.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/DSC00735‑2.jpg[/img]
But I think that even with you hair, there are a lot of women who would envy your type of hair being natural.
I´m trying not to envy someone else´s hair in my natural journey, but Wao! I actually Do have Tracee Ellis Ross´hair (just a little bit damaged) LOL
As a child I was never really focused on “hair texture”.. I remember wanting long hair but it just wasn’t that serious for me. My wonderful mother raised me with the idea that people do not have any control over the way they “naturally” look and that outward appearance wasn’t a reflection of personality. She also constantly reassured me that everything about me was beautiful. My mother wasn’t very knowledgeable about healthy hair care but she knew how to raise a confident happy child. I was really young when I received my first relaxer and it wasn’t until I was… Read more »
I’m white and from my perspective it’s a mistake and unfair for someone to compare “apples and oranges” (blacks and biracials). Black women and biracial women are genetically different and it’s often physically obvious (like hair, as the author acknowledges, other features). Biracial women by definition are at least as white as they are black (especially in the US). Yes, there are exceptions of course, with some biracials looking far more black, but not generally. My race has committed the sin of placing biracials on a pedestal and treating blacks as invisible or worse. I’m just a little startled that… Read more »
@Tetris2013 I think I understand where you’re coming from but I think the idea of biracial or multiethnic w/any black in you meaning you’re black stems from the one drop rule back in the day when it didn’t matter whether you were mixed. If you had any black in you, even the proverbial ‘one drop’ whites considered you black. I am roughly half white half black according to dna testing and my ‘look’ if you could consider it that has been mistaken for all kinds of races-namely Native American, Indian and Puerto Rican in particular. My hair is somewhere in… Read more »
While what your saying is true..its still depends.. It depends on whether a mixed person looks more physically as a certain race type I tend to find that white people in general accept mixed people on their terms,rightly or wrongly as so do others and a big portion of that human conditioning is based on how YOU LOOK lol,sad but true. Mixed people who tend to look more black physically are treated as such and those who look more white are accepted more openly by whites, I also find that mixed people who are more accepted by the way they look by… Read more »
i actually agree with you tetris. i’m one of those apparently few black people that don’t see biracials as blacks (unless they look “totally” black, if that makes sense- like, you wouldn’t have guessed they were more white than your avg. AA), so given this, i can see where you’re coming from. Expecting your hair to just be 3b/c or some variant when you know from at least judging by the hair of the men in your family (i say men, because black men’s hair usually is left natural, albeit short) that it’s highly unlikely your hair would look like… Read more »
Maxine- Yes sad but true. Ive felt left out of both but mostly from blacks unfortunately because of my look and how I carry myself/speak. Its sad because I love people in general and don’t see color.
Very true Chalise. My own texture is 3c I believe but so are others that are not mixed ‘by a long shot’ as you said. And my boys have loosely curly caucasian textured hair. You get what you get but you should always be proud and accepting of that and love yourself.
When I was doing my research for natural hair I should my mom and cousin (my personal stylists) the photos of twists out braids outs and black girls with curly coily kinky hair. They both told me flat out I don’t have the genes to get that type of hair even with products. That at most I would have hair like Erika badu. I knew in my heart and mind that they were wrong because I was 4yrs post relaxer but I continues to straighten it but I had a few curls still and my mom told me thought were… Read more »
I cannot relate to this story, except for the fact that I am a Black female. I was not raised to envy anyone for whatever status they have in life be it Black/White, rich/poor, short/tall, etc. etc. I was taught to appreciate myself period and that who I am is enough. So, I did not grow up insecure about my hair. I just want my hair to conform to the style of the day.
stop lyin.
Ignore tankgirl. She is a troll from lipstick alley who posted this article on that site to get folks worked up.
I wasn’t literally sat down and “taught” these ideas and negative thoughts (on my color and hair) by my parents or anything; but I lived in the REAL WORLD and just as a little girl growing up, going to school, going to church, WATCHING TV, READING MAGAZINES, Reading books etc. by THESE things I was “taught”, the WRONG idea, that my Kinky/nappy hair wasn’t the preferred, that my dark brown skin wasn’t “light enough” etc. I just think that Suzie Q’s comment gives the impression that she’s never even “heard” of such a thing. I understand if she was raised… Read more »
Thank You Tank Girl. My thoughts exactly.
I didn’t realize that “many” black women going natural wanted the loose curl look. In my opinion, I still would consider this wanting “white girl” hair. Wanting “mixed girl” hair can only stem from society beliefs which uphold mixed are as the epitome of beauty (below straight “white girl” hair” and anything less than would be unworthy. I remember want bone straight hair as a child. I am so happy i am over those feelings. When I went natural I was so excited to find out what my curl pattern would be. I would’ve have been happy no matter what… Read more »
My hair was never past shoulder length. At age 12 I remember my great- aunt pressing my hair and I was surprised at how much hair I actually had. (My mother had 4 girls and she’d usually comb our hair in a single bun on school mornings). I loved my hair! I was so happy with the length that texture never entered my mind… Length is still key to me… just give me some long healthy hair!
I think length is key for a lot of Black women. But again, I think the article was trying to say WHY is length so key? In addition to texture?
In other words, why is shorter, kinkier hair at the bottom of the natural hair totem pole? Texture is still a huge factor but for a lot of women, the combo of having both length AND texture seems to be the goal for a lot of Naturals.
I mean come on, we are on a site called “Black Girl Long Hair”!
Ava- you are totally missing the point, as I may take it that you do not have kinky curly hair and are ignorant on the subject matter with your whimsical response. Women who wanted longer and looser curls wanted them because you were considered to be more beautiful. For way too many years Black women straightened their hair and then permed their hair to fit the media image of beauty. So for women who had curly kinky hair they were faced with the idea of not being valued by not seeing images of them in the media. I have mixed… Read more »
@ Ava I get what your saying. Your saying “why can’t hair be short, natural and beautiful? Short hair is usually associated with men! Black people’s hair is unique compared to all other races. We’re the only ones with hair like wool or that grows like a bush. There might be some races with tightly coiled hair but kinks are ours! Some ideas/ trends/looks/styles change over the years, and some just take longer. But it definitely starts with black folks accepting themselves first. (Even our black brothers shave most their hair down so low you cant see it or they… Read more »
I can still remember how much it hurt my mom combed (pulled the curls out of) my hair every morning before leaving the house. Every day I had braids in my hair. I didn’t dare leave my house without them. That was the start of it all. Now, 20+ years later I’m slowly accepting my hair for what it is. I still live @ home with my parents 🙁 and I rarely leave my room without tying my hair. Words do go a long way…
I used to want a looser curl too. Then I lost my home, my car, my job, I also lost a large portion of hair on one side of my hair. I assume that I lost it on those nights I cried myself to sleep. Now I just want a healthy head of hair that won’t end up on my pillow, and will cover my bald spot.
Ladies, it’s not worth wishing you had someone else’s hair. Just appreciate what you have.
I must’ve been the only one who did not laugh at this. Not because I don’t a good sense of humor (believe me I do), but because of what this photo represents.
This was a great article. I have been natural for clost to 3 years. My hair is more wavy/kinky (not sure of the number / type). I have had a somewhat difficult time accepting my texture too. I agree with the article, society has molded black women to want thr hair of others. I think that part of this is due to the fact that majority of thr natural hair guru’s that are on websites & forums all have long, pretty hair…& are mixed. So when i look at websites to learn more about natural hair & all/majority of them… Read more »
[…] for being natural? on Klassy Kinks’s blog. This all reminded me of this other post called I used to want “mixed girl” hair from last […]
When I was little I wanted straight hair then at 5 my mom permed my hair and I was happy then I wanted curly fro hair but my mom always told me my hair was bad so I never went natural . Then at 17 I went natural I have curly afro hair I love it !! 18 now and learning how to take care of my hair .
Idc what texture my hair is I cut it short but my goal is to grow it long bra strap length and healthy it’s neck length now and it use to be straight and shoulder length ..I excited for long healthy hair 🙂 I have tight curls .
I have always loved Tracie Ellie Ross and her hair but I never felt I should have her hair I already have my gorgeous hair .
Tracee, I am now a middle-aged, white woman. I confess that I had issues about my hair as well. I know, I was a white girl.… what issues could I possibly have? My hair was straight as a board. I could set it in rollers, dippity-doo it until the rollers would stand on their own, use a curling iron, 3 cans of Aqua-net and yep, I could count the seconds from when I removed rollers/iron, etc until it was boringly straight. I envied the black girls I knew: curly, wavy, could braid it no matter the length and NEVER needed… Read more »
I like Tracies hair but I don’t need to envy her hair. I have my own beautiful hair .
I believe that we wanted that simplicity of management when it comes to dealing with our hair, but most likely if you were born in America you are not fully black. My african boyfriend always talks in high regard of my complexion and hair type. With comments like ” you know all Americans are mixed.” It’s sad that we are scared and hateful of “nappy” and “black” and other races attempt to emulate it… My boyfriend’s mom be clowing us saying we dont love our own black people, and all our people are on skid row, while we are steady… Read more »
No, not all American born Black people aren’t mixed.
Yes! They are mixed, read this article it would change your mind. Everybody else know that we are mixed except us, because of the racists teaching of being full black, when there is no such thing. http://hamptonroads.com/2004/08/blackandwhite-world-walter-ashby-plecker It should say this: Walter Ashby Plecker, the first registrar of Virginia’s Bureau of Vital Statistics, starting in 1912, forced Indians to classify themselves as black. The tribes, he said, had become a “mongrel” mixture. (Courtesy Richmond Times-Dispatch) Walter Ashby Plecker was the first registrar of Virginia’s Bureau of Vital Statistics, which records births, marriages and deaths. He accepted the job in 1912. For the next… Read more »
I love this comment Tina, very positive. Hair isn’t that big of a deal compared to real goals like jobs and education and building a financially secure future. I wish all hair textures were celebrated! I do like the fact that there are more products for curly kinky hair and no one cares about Tracee’s hair, seriously.
[…] for being natural? on Klassy Kinks’s blog. This all reminded me of this other post called I used to want « mixed girl » hair from last […]
I don’t know. Don’t really care about all this. I wish we would get out of the dumps and spend our energy on real stuff that would move us up in life. Worrying about hair isn’t going to do much for us as a group. There’s nothing we can do about our genetics but accept what we have and keep moving. I’m done apologizing for my existence. I am black woman, so what? I am meant to do something great with my life just like everyone else, and I can’t get caught up into trivial stuff that would distract my… Read more »