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Natural Hair is NOT For Everybody — But Not for the Reasons You Think

Avatar • Aug 9, 2013

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By Sabrina of SeriouslyNatural.org

Now, first breathe…breathe and calm your worried nerves about what I just said.  I know many in the natural hair community hate that statement.…

Natural hair ain’t for everybody.

Yea, too many of us have heard this, and most would not agree, but I’m here to really delve into this feeling that many relaxed black women have vocalized.  Maybe it’s not for everybody, and I’m here to tell you why.

Going natural is a personal journey… a private journey that one must decide on for themselves. Some are pushed into it due to hair loss, illness, bad perms and a whole host of reasons.  But the vast majority decide to go natural even though they don’t have to.  It’s a conscious decision, and some do not realize the real work that goes into it.

Work? I mean actual WORK.  Yes, there is work involved because many of us haven’t seen our natural hair since we were little girls, and even then we were not fooling with it. Our mothers were doing our hair.  My mother dealt with my hair in its natural state, and then started getting it flat-ironed.  By the time I was 13 and my sister 12 we had gone to the beauty salon and gotten our first perm.  It was a freedom I had never felt before as my hair was silky, flowing and blowing in the wind.  Then came the bad hair maintenance mistakes that plagued me until high school, where I finally mastered my permed hair.

Many of us have been permed for years, decades and even applied weaves, color and the like to our hair.  Pretty soon we were experts with permed hair. So why do many feel that — given all those years dealing with permed hair — that then learning how to deal with natural hair will be easy? Because whether you big chop or transition you will run into problems.

If you transition you must work two textures of hair and only one is familiar to you.  If you big chop you must instantly learn how to work with this new hair that grows out of your head.  You probably had never even seen or remembered what your natural hair looked like.  There are pitfalls along the way and if you aren’t willing to work through them all…you will fail. If a transitioning woman does not want to fool with new techniques then she will fail.  If a transitioning woman doesn’t figure out what products work for her through trial and error she will fail. And if a transitioning woman is only willing to deal with one type of natural hair, more than likely she will fail. See the pattern?

If you are not mentally prepared to learn a new way of doing your hair then you are not ready for being a natural haired woman.  If you will only be natural as long as there is a weave covering your head then you are not ready to be natural.  If you are not willing to wait for your natural hair to transition from relaxed or straight styles and come into its own then you are not ready to be natural.

See it’s not that Natural hair ain’t for everybody. Rather, not everybody is ready and willing to become Natural. 

This journey is a beautiful one. A change in style for some but for me and quite a few others it’s a change within. My hair is more than just hair to me.  What I was willing to do to get to where I am now (8 years natural) had its own ups and downs, but I wanted to be here.  Not everyone is ready or willing to do that.  We as hard core naturals need to accept and respect that.

So, the next time you hear that annoying sentence just remember what they are REALLY saying.

It’s a beautiful Natural journey,
Sabrina

For more of Sabrina’s writings, check out her website Seriously Natural.

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JENNID
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JENNID

Basically this translates to our natural hair being too much work and not everyone wants to bother. That’s a fair view point. It can be. But why do we all of a sudden pretend that weaves, relaxed and flat ironed hair isn’t equally as much work? I thought they were. Between worrying bout touch ups, hair reverting back in the humidity, trying to buy weave hair packs, crazy salon costs and time wasted waiting on a stylist to show up and etc. It was equally as time consuming as being natural but many black women do it. Why would we… Read more »

imani
Guest
imani

Maybe I read it differntly but wasn’t her point that natural hair is more work?not no work? bc there isn’t a wash day that I don’t briefly recall how much easier it was.how there was no 30m detangling to do, I didn’t worry abt humidity as much&ppl didn’t treat my hair like it was a fascinating thing to be touched (which I hate). My biggest worry was a touch up.I gave up on salons & stylists years b4 i went natural. Too much $$ and too much time! My interpretation is natural isn’t easy.it requires acceptance of ur hair is… Read more »

Ev'Yan
Guest

Here’s what I heard from the article: Natural hair isn’t for everyone because there are some on this planet who don’t have the time or patience to commit to having natural hair. And for novices (i.e, straight up newbs with no concept of what their natural texture is like) it WILL seem like a lot of work. I had chemically straightened hair from the time I was 3 years old up until about 3 years ago. All I knew about my hair was relaxers, hot oil treatments to ward away brittleness, my hair breaking off & falling out routinely, pressing… Read more »

lablooplah
Guest
lablooplah

Honestly i find natural hair easier to handle than when i had weaves. I have only permed my hair 3 times in my life and i’m 21. I wore weaves since I was 12, back when i just came from kenya where you could get hair braided anywhwere for cheap to the US where a black salon would be hard to find and expensive. For me weaves looked nice for one week and then it was downhill from there. Maybe I just have bad experiences with weaves? I’m in that awkward stage where my hair isn’t really a twa and… Read more »

Vee
Guest
Vee

I don’t think these reasons are excuses. Most black women have been permed for most of their lives, therefore they are completely used to their hair, and how to care/control their permed hair. I feel like the author is stating that it’s trying to have permed hair, why on earth do women seem to think that natural hair will be simple. All hair is difficult, and depending on the effort and work you want to put into it will determine the outcome. Don’t put any work in, regardless what your hair is, it will suffer, put work in, and it… Read more »

silkynaps
Guest
silkynaps

Natural hair is as much work as you make it. Of course, it will be work if you insist on spending hours deep conditioning, roller setting, braiding, twisting, detangling, etc. etc. and a cashmere sweater. FYI, hair is dead and it probably doesn’t need that honey-tomato-coconut-avocado-bacon grease deep conditioning treatment to be healthy. Your hair’s aesthetic is mostly genetic and a reflection of what you eat. Not the avocados clogging your shower. Case in point: I grew out my relaxer for a year; however, my real transition(s) took place over the following year after becoming natural. So, yeah, in the… Read more »

kenzy
Guest
kenzy

i see your point but maybe she is also speaking to people like myself. I havent had a perm in my head since i was in 4th grade. My hair was long grown out by the time i decided to start wearing natural styles about 5 years ago on my long heat trained hair. For me, even though i do make the decision to continue doing so, my natural hair is a lot more work for me. I kept my hair pressed consistently and all i ever did was wrap and go. there was no making sure it was moisturized,… Read more »

Sabrina @seriouslynatural
Guest

That was my point that relaxed hair was JUST as hard in the beginning. Neither is actually harder but if one refuses to put in the work that they put in when they became relaxed then going Natural will not work for them.
[img]https://bglh-marketplace.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/blkandwhite‑2.jpg[/img]

maxine
Guest
maxine

So glad this article was done , a lot of naturals do wear weave or straighten their hair with straighteners etc, some don’t understand that doing this is still showing that fear to completely natural and enjoy your own hair in its normal state …some even have moan at relaxed sisters for not keeping it real but think because their hair in its natural state they get a pass.
Natural women should be able to rock any hair method but at the same time not exspress any opposition to sister’s with relaxed hair when they do the same thing.

silkynaps
Guest
silkynaps

Nice try, but when someone says natural hair isn’t for everyone, what they’re *really* saying is that natural is only for certain types of hair. When someone says natural hair isn’t for everyone, what they *really* mean is that their mentality is so deeply ingrained in slavery, that they have not mentally evolved beyond notion of good and bad hair. Personally, I don’t believe in bad or ugly hair (only ugly hairstyles). Still, I don’t see the point of trying to rationalize the effed up logic that someone’s God given hair is not for them. I certainly don’t see the… Read more »

Coconut + Cream
Guest

*slowly claps hands* you hit the nail on the head

Ev'Yan
Guest

Just so you know, when I, personally, say that natural hair isn’t for everyone (like to my mom, for instance), I mean simply that it’s a personal choice that not everybody has to, should, or feels called to make.

This phrase *can* be said with sincerity without implying all that you unpacked above (though I’m sure a much of the time the unpacking is necessary).

The Poster Girl_Shar
Guest

Sorry Ev’Yan, but I disagree with you. I would challenge that to say, would you say its a personal choice if we were speaking about skin bleaching? Or would you put in your 2 cents against that? I highly doubt you would be quick to defend. Its just that relaxing is more socially acceptable in the U.S. We could compare to Asia, where skin bleaching is the equivalent to a relaxer here. See relaxing and skin bleaching, scientifically (by the way I was a ph.d. student in science, so I do know) are very similar in regards to health hazards.… Read more »

Ev`Yan
Guest

Truthfully, if someone hates their skin color so much that they want to bleach it to a lighter pigment, or they hate their love handles so much that they want to go under the knife, or they hate the kinks in their hair strands & they want to straighten them… that’s on them. It breaks my heart, absolutely, & I could never see myself making that decision for myself, but that’s on them. I choose to “do me.” I don’t have time (or the energy) to worry about what other people do to their bodies & why. The most I… Read more »

The Poster Girl_Shar
Guest

See but Ev’Yan, judging and stating facts are 2 different things. This is about re-educating people on something they were never taught or haven’t accepted, and teaching ourselves to love our own body how God made us. Of course resistance is to be expected when facts are stated. However, its about reprogramming ourselves, so dismissing it just because its a personal choice does not negate the facts. This is why I hate the “dont judge others” card. Its like the go to for when people get offended and then want to excuse things. This has nothing to do with judging… Read more »

TINA SMITH
Guest
TINA SMITH

YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD. ” IF MY HAIR CAN’T LOOK LIKE HERS” THEN I DON’T WANT TO BE NATURAL

InternapturalPrincess
Guest
InternapturalPrincess

“When someone says natural hair isn’t for everyone, what they *really* mean is that their mentality is so deeply ingrained in slavery, that they have not mentally evolved beyond notion of good and bad hair.” I’m going to have to disagree with you on this bit. I was natural for almost 4 years (Hair type: 4C/D/F )and loved it. I just recently went back to a relaxer. And maybe it’s not that natural hair isn’t for me, I just don’t want it right now. My sister has repeatedly stated that natural hair is not for her and trust me her… Read more »

silkynaps
Guest
silkynaps

I hear you, but I call it like I see it. I have yet to hear anyone explain why natural hair isn’t for them without equating their hair to being difficult, disobedient, naughty, or, simply, bad. My hair doesn’t do this. My hair won’t do that. My hair keeps doing this and that. I.e. my hair does or doesn’t do the thing that the good hair doesn’t or does do. No matter how skillfully one may tap dance around the good hair/bad hair argument, it’s always implied. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. It would naive and irresponsible to… Read more »

Zacaria
Guest
Zacaria

Natural hair is not for loud-mouthed, ghetto, ignorant, nasty attitude bit*** ass hoes. I’m natural and from the ghetto, I wear my hair out, loud and proud! Most women around here are screwed up, but they still manage to get their perm touched up every other week. It seems like natural hair is more common in the middle or upper class. My mom could not even afford to feed her kids, but she managed to get her nails done and a peticure, and her hair weaved up. Not a day goes by that I don’t get angry comments from these… Read more »

Skyler
Guest
Skyler

I feel sorry that you’ve felt with that type of negative atmosphere for most of your life and to this day deal with the comments. I can definitely sense some of the bitterness in your diction but I believe this goes back to the point of what we ARE and ARE NOT willing to accept. Maybe in this article it is a struggling transitioning woman who doesn’t want to alter her old regiment, maybe in your case it is a “ghetto” weaved woman who fails to see the beauty in your fro. However, what we are discussing here are the… Read more »

juanicole617
Guest
juanicole617

That’s a really interesting perspective. Is it true that most naturals are more educated? Not that there aren’t relaxed educated women but most of those who are natural, 20’s and up tend to be more educated and perhaps in a higher income bracket if you’re not a college student. I know some people who look at certain hair types (4c) in disgust. My sister and I, both of us are natural had a pretty heated debate with some women about being natural and how it looks. They didn’t like the ‘nappy’ look and they don’t understand how our preferences are… Read more »

Rye
Guest
Rye

Oh my goodness Zacaria. I cannot stand those donkey mouth, bubble gum chewing, lip popping witches with gag breath and Carl Winslow hairlines like that go around laughing at everyone else hair, but theirs is falling out of their heads. Wearing 40 inches inches of human hair that was probably robbed and snipped off from some poor Latin America woman, or some poor Indian woman that made a meaningful sacrifice, so some dummy can walk around talking about others peoples hair with someone else hair on their heads. If you can’t work with what you got, then who are you… Read more »

Ev'Yan
Guest

That ENTIRE first sentence killed me dead, by the way. Too much!

Random Trini Chick
Guest
Random Trini Chick

So glad you found this website and an encouraging, uplifting community here. Check in regularly, ignore the village idiots and keep your head up gurl 🙂

thefwordprod
Guest
thefwordprod

Bottom line of this article is it’s just fucking hair. Women have the right to wear their hair in any which way they choose. Natural or not. Just because someone chooses to perm their hair doesn’t mean that they hate themselves. The same way how being natural doesn’t make you any more secure about you “blackness”. So tired of this misconception and topic for that matter. It’s no different from coloring or accessorizing your hair.

Jamrocaramel
Guest
Jamrocaramel

Here we go…I read these blogs from time to time to be more educated on my natural hair that is (oh yeah) covered by weave. The more I read around, is the more I realize that for SOME of you this “movement” is not about hair or the healthy state of it. SOME of YOU make it into an argument of “my black is better.” Putting down other women, referring to women’s sexual “liberation” or which beach is better(heaux wear weaves and gags)versus who is the better “around the way girl” is ABSURD. WHEN are ya’ll gonna realize what you… Read more »

Stace
Guest
Stace

Yes I had to reread some of these comments on here a few times because I couldn’t believe the ugly words being used to express opinions and experiences. “donkey mouth”, “hoes” , etc. One person proclaiming that they grew up in the ghetto but slamming other people in that same ghetto. Some of these things being said if said by a white person would be awfully racist but people here are thumbing up these comments and laughing. Yet talking about being of a better crop and more educated and financially affluent. I can’t anything for a once little insecure girl… Read more »

Miss T
Guest
Miss T

But this is the thing Stace, everything she stated is true and are real life experiences, I have and do experience the same things she described. Does this mean every black woman in the ghetto with weave and perms act like this, no, but a large majority do. Black women get stereo-typed alot but, alot of black women are representations of these “stereo types”.

Nichole Carter
Guest
Nichole Carter

It never ceases to amaze me how political Black hair is. It’s just hair and however someone chooses to wear THEIR hair is THEIR business! It’s not like I’m getting up in the morning to do anyone else’s hair but my own!

God forbid we should collectively apply the energy and dollars spent on caring for our hair towards improving the lot of our community instead of having silly discussions about this author’s point of view on natural hair.

Bless!

Sabrina @seriouslynatural
Guest

It is more than hair to me and when some realize that then they won’t keep saying it is only hair. It may be only hair to YOU but not everyone feels that way.
[img]https://bglh-marketplace.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/blkandwhite‑3.jpg[/img]

TMal
Guest
TMal

hair is dead and such a superficial part of our existence. I feel sad that so many black women gives it so much power and waste time and energy that could be better spent uplifting our comnunities.

cherise
Guest
cherise

While I agree that a woman should be able to wear any hairstyle she chooses, I disagree that it’s just hair. When black people don’t simply have a “preference” for straight hair even though it’s clear that we’re being spoon fed that straight is better from the media and everywhere we turn, maybe then it will be just hair. When it’s not abnormal for African american women to wear their hair in its natural state to job interviews and weddings, maybe then it will be just hair. But you can’t tell me “that it’s just hair” when there’s a clear… Read more »

TINA SMITH
Guest
TINA SMITH

YUP ITS WAY MORE THEN JUST HAIR

juanicole617
Guest
juanicole617

Oh how I wish it was“just” hair and one day it will be, perhaps generations from now. In the mean time, it’s more than hair. It’s a learned preference that many who transitioned or big chopped had to unlearn. Although I will keep that dream alive. The it’s “Just Hair” dream. Just like that November in 2008, many of us never thought it would happen but mindsets are changing and we are learning. Yes we are!

xen
Guest
xen

I don’t regret my natural journey and I love bein natural, that being said I do agree it’s not for everybody. It is hair and whatever you want to do with it to yours. One thing I have never understood and this is not me stereotyping people, whenever I’m on American blogs “African girl here” everyone seems to say how being natural is amazing because they don’t need to run from the rain mmmmhhh, when I was relaxed I never ran from the rain, only now being natural, I did an amazing twist out in the morning and my hair… Read more »

mercy
Guest
mercy

African girl here too! *waves* I have never also understood the whole rain thing. Detangling and twisting takes too much time for me to enjoy the rain. I feel you

Stace
Guest
Stace

I never ran from the rain because of my relaxed hair, never understood that for some time. As it turns out some peoples relaxed hair would still curl back up, mine never did. Go figure. Everyone’s hair is different, so is everyones hair story and experience. I never sat in a salon all day either, been doing my own hair since I was 15, before that it was my mom. I never wore a t‑shirt on my head an pretended it was long hair. I never left a perm on my head for 30+ minutes. I feel like some people… Read more »

TINA SMITH
Guest
TINA SMITH

MY TWISTOUT DOESN’T GET AFFECTED BY A FEW DROPS OF RAIN. MY TWISTS WOULDN’T EITHER. NOW A FRESH RELAXER WOULD

ShadowQueen
Guest
ShadowQueen

For me, I was the total opposite. A perm and rain was a class 3 disaster but since I went natural.…..
I remember a coworker said to me one day- as we waited for the train- ‚“It’s raining! Aren’t you worried about your hair?” I replied, “Nah. It’s gonna do what it’s gonna do.” Which meant my perfect braid out was shot to sh.… Rain doesn’t upset me now.

DreamGirl
Guest
DreamGirl

I went natural by accident,I shaved my head bald and just went with it and now I’m loving it. I don’t bash friends or family with relaxed hair,I give them advice on how to better care for it,I even do their touch-ups. They all think my hair is pretty and I know they’ll come around eventually hahaha and I tell them that when they are ready,I’ll help them on their journeys. When I get to heaven though I will ask Him why he gave us 30mins detangling hair and shrinkage hahahahaha

GSoldier
Guest

Now let us take a minute to bow our heads, and thank the Lord”, cause Sabrina just preached out loud what us (real, though some may call us ‘hardcore naturals — hate the basis of that term-.-). Were thinking.

Thank You!

Nolly A
Guest
Nolly A

THANK YOUUU..I have been saying it since…it isn’t for everyone ..it is only for people who decide that they are ready for the work no matter their hair type..you have to be willing and ready for the new discovery, and be ready to embrace it happily..if you are not in that state of mind then I am sorry but PLEASE do not go natural if not your hair will suffer it..I have a friend that is relaxed and she once said that she would go natural since it was the new ‘trend’ and everybody was doing it..I just simply told… Read more »

Nolly A
Guest
Nolly A

And people that bash relaxed girls about their hair ANNOY the hell out of me..they make all of us natural girls look bad..who the hell do you think you are to look down on somebody because their hair is relaxed..as if you weren’t once relaxed …in my opinion it’s just hair..do with it whatever you will and be happy …not everybody that relaxes their hair is ashamed of their blackness ..I was relaxed a year ago and now i am natural,I am still as proud of being black as I was when I was relaxed ..so some natural girls need… Read more »

Rayne
Guest
Rayne

i agree with what she said NATURAL HAIR IS A LOT OF WORK…finding the right products, taking the time to understand your hair etc. when all we;ve ever had to do was get a perm and a treatment every 2 weeks…stop being so hostile some of you and open up yourselves to another point of view.…like someone else said its just hair.…STOP GETTIN WORKED UP AND MAD ABOUT ANOTHER PERSONS OPINION OF NATURAL HAIR! some naturals make me hate the natural hair community

ShadowQueen
Guest
ShadowQueen

This is so true. Natural hair is alot of work. When I did my big chop I was obsessed with my hair- kinda how a mother is obsessed with her newborn. You come to understand what it needs, likes and hates. How it reacts to illness, temperature changes and new products. That’s was one of the things I learned on YouTube. You’ve gotta have patience. You have to love it and be ready to WORK because if you don’t- you’ll decide it’s not worth it and give up.

Courtney
Guest
Courtney

Oh lord this article is about to start a controversy

Jasmine
Guest
Jasmine

Enough with all the labels, boxes, and categories.

20andalreadytired
Guest
20andalreadytired

I think going on about how natural hair is a lot of work and not for everyone contradicts the message that being natural is about a state of mind and accepting your hair and your body the way it is. How can you tell people that they don’t have the right, or they aren’t ready to style their hair the way it grows out of their heads?! Think about what you’re saying Sabrina, that it is so patronising, and suggests that our hair is some kind of problem that can only be handled by a select few. That’s not true,… Read more »

Jokes fa days
Guest
Jokes fa days

Wow never realized how ridiculous black women are with their hair.What if straight hair was considered ugly and kinky hair considered beautiful in mainstream.You would see all the straight haired women making their hair kinky,probably some would keep their hair straight.If I’d see plenty of straight haired women trying to have hair like mine I’d look at them funny like what are you doing your hair isn’t naturally like that.Anyway if I had stumbled across a topic like this,but saying ‘Straight hair isn’t for everyone’ I’d be like wow so sad how could something your born with not be for… Read more »

Kelcie
Guest
Kelcie

I rarely comment on this discussion because it causes conflict and allow others a chance to “bash” one another. Everyone is different and I believe being natural is a personal decision between YOU and YOUR HAIR. You have to know that you can’t force anyone to do it. That is something we should learn is to respect everyone’s preference and opinion. It really shouldn’t matter what anyone says or thinks about your hair because I’m sure the same “lip smacking, donkey mouth, bubble gum chewing, lip popping *itches” could care less about what you think of their “Carl Winslow” hairline!

TINA SMITH
Guest
TINA SMITH

IT’S MENTALITY AND FEAR. BUT AT WHAT POINT DO YOU STOP USING THE EXCUSE YOU NEVER SAW YOUR NATURAL HAIR, OR YOU HAD A RELAXER SINCE 3. IN 2013 AT WHAT POINT IS THOSE EXCUSES OLD AND TIRED. ONCE I EDUCATED MYSELF MY HAIR BECAME A BREEZE AND WAY LESS WORK THEN A RELAXER. NO TOUCH UPS, RUNNING FROM RAIN, PAYING A HAIRDRESSER WHO THOUGHT MY HAIR WAS TOO KINKY TO BE NATURAL, AND NO MORE CONSTANT TRIMS AND BREAKAGE. SO IN THIS DAY IN AGE WHEN ARE THE EXCUSES TIRED??? BECAUSE THAT’S ALL IT IS. THE TIME I PUT… Read more »

mo_4u
Guest
mo_4u

I don’t like the statement either way and even though she had valid points.… I would prefer people just say “I am not ready to do the work it takes” and not speak for everyone saying “Natural hair is not for everyone” or “Natural hair does not look good on everyone”.…Yes its a personal thing, so speak your personal statement and not for every one.…

cherise
Guest
cherise

I agree. However, the title did do it’s job of sparking discussion and getting others to look at the article. So it was useful in that way.

Filmmaker
Guest
Filmmaker

I think it’s okay to wear your hair natural or not natural. No one has the right to tell anyone how to wear their hair. If someone wants weave let them, if they want natural let them. Does it really matter? NO. It’s like choosing to live in the suburbs or city. Let people do what makes them happy. The problem is people worry too much about stuff that does not concern them. I wear weaves and get my hair permed on and off and will continue to do so. I’m not into natural and never will be. I like… Read more »

Naj
Guest
Naj

Hmmm..I understand where the author is coming from, but in my (stubborn?) mind I can’t help but think that *some* people who think it is too much work to be natural would not mind putting in the time for that work if they had the texture that they wanted. Many girls still say that they want to go natural but their hair is “too nappy” so maybe that’s where I make this conclusion. But, in all fairness, some hair is going to take a little more effort, at least until the “perfect“regime is found, if it ever is. In the… Read more »

TINA SMITH
Guest
TINA SMITH

I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU. IT BECOMES TOO MUCH WORK WHEN YOU’RE TRYING TO COMPLETELY ALTER IT

TMal
Guest
TMal

I disagree. Unless yoy are okay with walking around with your head like you just woke up, it is work. When I was relaxed my hair took all of 5 min to do in the morning, now I have to budget an extra 20–30 min to wash it everyday. I rock wash and gos because it is the easiest and least time consuming. if I was one of the 4b/4c sisters who twist their hair every night and then untwist it everyday I would have gone back to the creamy crack long ago. At the end of the day it… Read more »

AnonSince87
Guest
AnonSince87

Why don’t you just keep it in a protective style? Sounds easier and less time consuming than a WnG every single day… You’d spend less time than when you had it relaxed; doesn’t take 5 minutes to remove your hair bonnet and go! Lol. I’d love to know which products you use (or used) on your relaxed hair? I reckon they’re similar in price. To be honest, anything used on your natural hair should probably be used on relaxed hair anyway — or do you go back to saturating the scalp with petroleum/mineral oil when the hair is relaxed? Why… Read more »

TMal
Guest
TMal

I do wash and gos because they work. I have wasted too much time on other styles that come out looking crazy, so I’m a wash and go girl. Also I am a TV Reporter, so my job requires a consistent appearance everyday. So switching it up isn’t really an option for me. As for products, when relaxed a 7 dollar jar of QP Mango Butter would last me for close to 6 months. Shampoo and Conditioner as well. A jar of Let’s Jam would get replaced once a year. I relaxed 3 to 4 times a year. It was… Read more »

Kinky Curly Marie
Guest
Kinky Curly Marie

@TMal .. THANK YOU SO MUCH for being one of the few Naturals who is being absolutely HONESTabout this whole natural experience. I especially LOVE YOUR SECOND COMNENT (your reply to AnonSince87). NO MATTER THE HAIR TEXTURE, it is one frustrating, time consuming, emotional and psychological experience. Also VERY EXPENSIVE, so a person really does have to plan ahead and have a serious **‘Game Plan’** for Styles & Disasters (bad hair days), before going on this Journey. Once you learn your hair and what works for your texture then it becomes a little easier. A well groomed appearance has to… Read more »

Kinky Curly Marie
Guest
Kinky Curly Marie

Typo: (missed a key)
I meant ‘consider’

kboss
Guest
kboss

Yeah, it’s sooo time consuming and expensive. Less than $3 for my suave natural conditioner. 8 oz of pure shea butter for $4. 12 oz of virgin coconut oil for $7. Castor oil for $3. Olive oil for $5. This collection lasts me 2 months or more… This is just a little over $20. As for time consuming? I guess it depends on what you’re doing. I protective style like crazy, braids that I do myself, or wigs. It’s only a chore if you make it a chore. So sick of all the excuses.

Sabrina @seriouslynatural
Guest

Yes, I do agree with you. There are some who want a particular type of curl pattern and will not want to go Natural if she do not have it. Those women cannot be helped until they begin to love themselves completely.
[img]https://bglh-marketplace.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/blkandwhite‑1.jpg[/img]

Sabrina Antoinnette
Guest

I agree 100%. I FAILED at my first attempt to go natural. It was definitely NOT due to me hating my texture — it was because I had no clue where to start, what to do, and I didn’t have the time back then. I had a full time job, was an artist on the side that was also in school. I had to BC two times until I got a grip on things and how to maintain my hair since I never worked with it or touched it in it’s natural state. I am happily a 4A/B texture and… Read more »

Jean
Guest
Jean

I have theory about the little boys with long hair. Most of the time little boys get their hair cut but if the boy’s is long that means they really want their hair to stay long so they put in more of effort. A few older guys I know said that they cut their braid off because they felt they looked like girls and their mother’s literally cried over it. I’m not that serious about my son’s hair. I want it long and worked hard to fill in his hairless patches so he’d have more than a mohawk. While I… Read more »

Bridget J
Guest
Bridget J

I disagree. Although I love my natural hair, I can admit that being natural is more time consuming. This is simply a true fact. I have recently encouraged two women to wear their hair natural and while they are both excited about the journey, both have proclaimed to me that it is a lot more work and they feel like they are re-learning how to care for their hair. One of the girls uses all natural oils and butters and is not seeking to alter her texture, but it is still a lot of work. Detangling the hair alone can… Read more »

Sange
Guest
Sange

I don’t get it–Ladies it’s your hair, your crown, your glory! Whether natural , permed,transitioned, colored,or the works it’s your hair! Who better to take care of it then yourself! Don’t get me wrong of course visits to the hairdresser is always welcomed but at the end of the day when you look in the mirror, when you reach within the surface,when you add or remove,you are doing it all to your hair. Whether it is in it’s natural stages,permed, transitioning, colored, a protective style or whatever the case it’s still your crown which requires some TLC! So embrace it… Read more »

Taiwo
Guest

true. my mom retired from caring for my hair and tht’s when i decided to go natural.

Tori
Guest
Tori

I’m glad this was posted. My mother tells me this all the time. She will complement my natural hair all the time, but when I mention her possibly going natural, she says it ain’t for her. I always feel confused like “But you were born with a natural texture” I think this article explains every well what my mom meant by that. 🙂

linda
Guest
linda

Natural hair is for everybody and there is no need to discuss about that. Why? Because that’s the hair you were born with and that’s how God intended it to be. Now will you tell me nails are not for everybody, same as your nose, tongue, fingers, legs or whatever “natural” part of your body that you don’t like just because you don’t know how to deal with it or take care of it so it can be healthy or just because you’re lazy and believe you have something better to do than “wasting your time” doing your own hair?… Read more »

maxine
Guest
maxine

I’m a grown women and have lived in Europe all my life,black women wear their hair in various amounts of styles and methods,but most of the time you will see 80 per cent rock the weave. we don’t have this pressure or face any opposition to how we should be wearing hair a prospective way. In America,it’s very different and I have seen most of the ignorance come not from relaxed sisters but from natural haired women who are using the hair battle as another issue to deal with in the black race. It’s unfortunate that those with natural hair… Read more »

K.
Guest
K.

As a natural girl from birth I basically did not know that it was a big deal, it’s just hair. Not everyone can rock the curls because they do not know how to style it. I’ve been teased because of my curls, luckily my mother didn’t want me to get a perm. Natural girl are not trying to convert anyone we’re just thrilled to see that people are finally accepting this texture as not Nappy but nice.

maxine
Guest
maxine

Not literally but the debates and opinions often leave black women who don’t wear natural hair undervalued the biggest argument being that relaxed sisters are conforming to the European ideal,no…they just like straight hair.

Kinky Curly Marie
Guest
Kinky Curly Marie

I agree Maxine!
Very well said.

Notamused
Guest
Notamused

This bullshit, must be a troll. ‘In Asia and Europe I didn’t see so much pressure either. In fact women cherish their Natural hair and even cut it as a present to thank their God for a miracle ( we all know the story). In most these continents women who change up their styles and alter their natural hair often are artists and in the showbusiness’. Never laughed so hard in my life. Probably some Indian guy in Delhi, you don’t fool me.

Beauty84
Guest
Beauty84

I’m sorry but when it comes to weaves, wigs and relaxers Africa s and other black people all over the world use them and more tha. They should. So please stop saying its just black Americans, when we are the ones leading the way for natural haired women.

linda
Guest
linda

I know it’s not related but did you all hear about a 10 years old Texas girl arrested and in detention and charged with raping a 4 year old boy? This story was first reported back in April and is still being investigated and if convicted, the girl may have to register as a sex offender at 10 years old her life will be ruined forever! This is really a heartbreaking story — See more at: http://madamenoire.com/290441/10-year-old-texas-girl-arrested-and-charged-with-raping-4-year-old-boy/#sthash.dJLzEzwI.dpuf

AnonSince87
Guest
AnonSince87

Uh oh, that “IT’S JUST HAIR!” line again. But I bet you don’t walk around with malnourished hair — no you TAKE CARE of it. Bet you style it too from time to time? Riiiight. So it’s not just hair then? Hair is a big deal for a lot of people (women AND men). It’s an expression of yourself and in some cultures, it’s an expression of tradition and where you come from. Yes, even in India where they shave their hair for religious purposes, its a BIG DEAL (otherwise why shave it?) You think because you put your hair… Read more »

YOLANDA
Guest
YOLANDA

Hair is just hair. If you were seriously ill, would you be more concerned about your health &u living oe your hair? I’m 45a and have a massive, thick head of hair that looks much the same as it did in my childhood. I’m glad to have it but I keep things in perspective. And I don’t care whether folks want to go natural or not or wear weave or not, I’m just enjoying what I have.

Sophie
Guest
Sophie

I do think that people legitimately have a lot of baggage to work through when they go natural, but I still think “it’s not for everyone” is just lame. It is what grows from our heads naturally. I think of it like wearing makeup. I personally don’t wear any because I like my skin as it is (plus my skin is sensitive) and just make sure to moisturize. I have a friend who will NOT leave the house to check the mail without a full face of makeup. I have another friend who is a cosmetologist and loves makeup as… Read more »

Tel8
Guest

Thank you for this- I have no problem with people saying that they don’t want to go natural, or they don’t think it’s for them, I have a problem with people saying that they “can’t”, as though there is no other option then what they’ve got. As long as we all understand that we have options: natural, relaxed, weaved, braided, then I’ve got no problems with what people actually choose. I just hate hearing things like “black hair can’t grow, so I can’t go natural” or “It would be too much work, so I can’t.” It does not automatically take… Read more »

TR
Guest
TR

When slavery was abolished…, some refused to leave the ‘comforts’?. of the plantantions. Same mindset. The ‘unknown’ is scary, especially if you’ve looked up to one particular standard as being the superior standard.

maxine
Guest
maxine

What comforts,they were beaten and worked to the death of them,they were working for hours and hours on end in high end heat..what sources say this lol

linda
Guest
linda

Hair becomes a big deal only when you decided it to be because once again how you decide to take care of it or style it for the outside world to see start first with how much you love yourself, your self-esteem and self-worth,your mindset, what you want the other to think about how you look and how much pressure you can take from those who think that is different and not beautiful or ugly according to their standards. Why is it that a lot of time those who appreciate and love our natural hair styles are those with straight… Read more »

HoneyB
Guest
HoneyB

I know this phrase generally irks naturals but please read what this woman is writing. She is saying that not everyone is ready to look inside themselves and understand why their hair can’t be seen by the public. Looking at your soul and all of your insecurities is difficult to do. Doing it with a shaved head, where the WHOLE WORLD will be whispering and talking, is even more difficult. That is what the author is saying. Going natural afters years of perm is going to be hard because of the psychological changes that need to be made. Not everyone… Read more »

Sabrina @seriouslynatural
Guest

You totally got my point. Thank you.
[img]https://bglh-marketplace.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/blkandwhite‑4.jpg[/img]

TMal
Guest
TMal

I tried several times to go natural, never was it because of some spiritual enlightenment or to feel more black. I wanted to try something different or just give relaxers a break. Now 18 months post BC, I love my curls. But when I read or hear comments from “The natural movement,” about relaxed women being insecure or not enlightened or natural women not being natural enough, it makes me want to reject the entire thing and run for the creamy crack just to distance myself from the natural nazis. I get that for some of you hair means so… Read more »

Trish
Guest
Trish

I agree with you 100%. Hair is just one part of you and you have so much more to offer besides the way your hair looks or the way you take care of it.

20andalreadytired
Guest
20andalreadytired

My point exactly!

Reanna
Guest
Reanna

I get what the writer of this post was trying to say. At first I rolled my eyes but when I read it I kinda agree. It’s not that natural hair doesn’t suit everyone it’s the process of re-learning to take care and style their natural hair that not everyone has the patience for or is ready for, which I can understand. But I do believe as more information about natural hair care is available, with time more and more women will be willing to go natural.

Sabrina @seriouslynatural
Guest

You are exactly right with what I was trying to say. We weren’t born with perms. We had to LEARN how to take care of our permed heads so of course we will need to learn how to take care of our Naturals heads ESPECIALLY if you have been permed for years. If one is not ready or willing to put in the time to learn their hair and take care of it in the natural state then going natural will become a failure to them.
[img]https://bglh-marketplace.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/blkandwhite‑5.jpg[/img]

Rain
Guest
Rain

This… the problem isn’t natural hair but the learning curve needed to adapt to natural hair. You could apply this to many life situations… learning how to cook, learning to live independently, becoming more healthy/doing more exercise etc. There are people who are prepared to make the lifestyle change and there are people who are not. When I decided to live a more healthy lifestyle, I had to change so many habits that seemed out of pattern to me but I was committed and now they have become a way of life. Natural hair is like this for me and… Read more »

alice
Guest
alice

This article gives a new perspective on the topic. I kind of agree with what she says but I also have some issues with the reasons.Saying that natural hair can be difficult to care for is a bit harsh. When I compare having natural hair to looking after weaves or relaxed hair,I can definitely say natural hair in the long run is more cost effective. Thats my personal opinion. From the comments Ive seen so far, it seems that the saying that “its just hair” is not true. I for one know that there are a lot of things to… Read more »

Jumoké
Guest
Jumoké

LOVE THIS.

Stace
Guest
Stace

Sometimes its the methods for getting to natural hair that is not for everyone. Not everyone wants to big chop but transitioning is not always easy. Not everyone wants to or can wear synthetic braid hair or weaves to assist in their transition, or even after with their protectives styling. Personally I am allergic to synthetic braid hair, and with relaxed hair I never wore weaves so I am not going to wear weaves with natural hair either. Some people deal with major shrinkage and want long hair. I would be upset if I had 18 inches of hair that… Read more »

lnw
Guest
lnw

Well stinking is natural but most of us opt for wearing deodorant every day! With that said, I’ve been natural for years, off and on, changing when I get bored because my hair grow like a weed. I still have super thick hair and I work in Africa. Trust me ladies — in the part of Africa that I work in the women are not natural. They are too busy with fetching the water, minding the kids, digging in the garden, cooking, working in the market — living life to be twisting, braiding dealing with hair. The girls and women… Read more »

lnw
Guest
lnw

Well stinking is natural but most of us opt for wearing deodorant every day! With that said, I’ve been natural for years, off and on, changing when I get bored because my hair grows like a weed. I still have super thick hair and I work in Africa. Trust me ladies — in the part of Africa that I work in the women are not natural. They are too busy with fetching the water, minding the kids, digging in the garden, cooking, working in the market — living life to be twisting, braiding dealing with hair. The girls and women… Read more »

TMal
Guest
TMal

{Slow Clap} You nailed it with your comment. A lot of things are natural but I doubt many prefer their natural odor over soap, deodorant and perfume. I don’t know anyone who just wears their hair how it grows out of their head. It is manipulated in some way. If you are oiling your scalp, pre-pooing, co-washing, deep conditioning, twisting, braiding and satin cap at night, taking it out in the morning and starting the entire process over the next day, don’t say you are wearing your hair the way it grows from your head. Now it is absolutely okay… Read more »

Denice
Guest
Denice

Thumbs up ++++ squared!

TWA4now
Guest
TWA4now

It’s a mind-set just like anything else. Most people who say they can’t go natural or continually hide behind the weaves and wigs (not including illnesses or the occasional I need a break) truly aren’t ready and it’s ok. Being natural DOES take work, but I think it is worth it. #HHJ1standalways

lnw
Guest
lnw

I totally agree. We shouldn’t pretend that natural hair is not a lot of work because it is! If I were a single working mother I would opt out (unless you want to rock a TWA which is not to everyone’s taste.
[img]https://bglh-marketplace.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Thailand2_22‑1.jpg[/img]

TWA4now
Guest
TWA4now

Thank you @ Inw (nice hair pic) so totally true. It takes time and patience too. Have I mastered it? NO! I am learning still! It can be very challenging but very rewarding at the same time.

Terrise
Guest

Thank you so much for this article. I am for those who are able to go natural and think that all my sister’s are beautiful in their choice of look. I am one of those that CANNOT go natural because my hair is falling out. It bothers me when people tell me to stop wearing my wig (which i take off daily) instead of listening to my reason on why I have to wear them. It’s even more offensive when men and women talk about people with weaves because it’s not WHO I am, it’s just what I wear. People… Read more »

Nia
Guest
Nia

I love this article but it also disheartens me. i have been natural for 5 years and still have not mastered my hair. I can pull off a cute afro, for one day. i can pull off a cute air-dry, for one day. I simply bow-dry and flat-iron once a week or so and I’m tired of the straight hair look but it seems i’m doomed to it. My curls aren’t kinky enough to last on a daily basis. But my hair isn’t straight enough to just be long and silky. My face isn’t shaped right for a short cut.… Read more »

evelyn white
Guest

I am old school. I wore a “natural” in the 70’s. All we used was sheen and a pick! That’s natural. Excuse me if I don’t care to wear “curls”. I’ve been there when a natural really was a natural (afro). It wasn’t a lot of work. I choose to wear a perm. That’s my choice, just as wearing “curls” is yours. Everyone did their own thing then. Why can’t we do our own thing now? It has nothing to do with my self esteem. I am comfortable enough in my own skin to know what I like and not… Read more »

Jay
Guest
Jay

some peoples natural hair is curly. don’t try and pretend that you have the only true natural hair

Toni
Guest
Toni

Madam, you seem to be confusing the ensuing waves that you get when you take down and old set of cornrows, twists or braids with bouncy “curls” (all African textured hair is curly, by the way). There were also a plethora of styles amongst African peoples well before the popularization of the afro in the 60’s. There are many women who have a looser curl pattern and I do not believe that they should be faulted for wearing their hair texture as is. With my hair length and texture, my hair won’t even be compressed into a round shape anymore.… Read more »

Uzo O
Guest

You’re right about the ”work” part. Its such a huge chore trying to maintain a natural hair.

StopOverreacting
Guest
StopOverreacting

I don’t get it when people say that. I mean if you don’t want to deep condition then don’t. If you don’t want to detangle then tie it up and go. Natural hair isn’t that serious especially when people go out and buy a million products or saturate their hair because they think they have to. If finger detangling takes you to long then use a brush. You get what I’m saying? Your hair won’t fall out in clumps just cause you used a brush or straightend your hair. Just get some basic oil and some water and you’ll live.

elsa
Guest
elsa

if only you were right… just water and oil ! my dream ! but my hair definitively wants lot more. It’s always dry and my nape hair broke very easily so i need to pay attention and regularly deep condition my hair.

Toni
Guest
Toni

But even relaxed hair needs misting, oiling, deep conditioning and a good wrapping . Well, that’s if you want it strong and long.

Tamia
Guest
Tamia

Some people say that going natural isn’t for everybody, so what, God made a mistake on black folks hair?

Mary
Guest
Mary

It’s not that God made a mistake on black hair. She’s trying to say that not everyone knows how to properly care for their natural hair. I agree. There are so many girls with natural hair who commit lots of time, money, and effort into their hair and it looks incredible. Kudos to them. And then there are some girls who are natural and don’t do anything to their hair and it looks a hot mess. Those are the girls she’s referring to. If you want to rock natural hair, you have to know how to properly care for it.… Read more »

Roo
Guest
Roo

But not a lot of girls know how to maintain relaxed hair either. Most of us have been uneducated about black hair in general for a long time. Its like saying black hair is not for everyone, because lets face it a lot of black women are not educated about how to take care of our hair properly

Toni
Guest
Toni

I can cosign on this one. If I’d learned some of these natural hair techniques, I would have definitely kept more of my relaxed hair on my head. With over relaxing, not washing enough, not deep conditioning, using mineral oil on my scalp and frying my hair with curling irons, my hair didn’t get past my shoulders from age 8 to age 24. I’m just glad that we are all regaining access to this lost knowledge!

Muhindi
Guest
Muhindi

Wait so white natural hair is fro everybody.…. asian natural hair is for everybody.…but black natural hair isn’t for every black person?

Come again?

Cheyenne
Guest
Cheyenne

I hate my natural hair and it hates me back . I’m in this phase where all I want to do straighten my hair , and I’m not sure where to go now.

Toni
Guest
Toni

I’m sorry to hear that. When I was transitioning, I had to hide mine in box braids for half a year or I knew that I would just relax it again. I wasn’t used to dealing with my my hair. That was an easy way for me to grow my hair and it was easier to keep it moisturized. When I stopped relaxing, I decided that I was 100% committed to learning about my hair no matter what (This was 2004 before these wonderful blogs and videos)and that I wasn’t going back. Whatever you decide, just remember that it’s hair.… Read more »

Cheyenne
Guest
Cheyenne

It’s just really all bad.

Nenego24
Guest
Nenego24

heck i have better things to do than spend hours on my hair. maybe we as Black people should worry about things like high abortion in Black girls, or that many of our younf Black men are in jail, or the needs of others. If Black women (me being one) would put half the energy that put in their hair the world would be an amazing

elsa
Guest
elsa

that’s mean and untrue. abortion and jail are related to non-education and poverty. With this natural thing there are lot of black women who became successful with their videos and their blog..

Cecret
Guest
Cecret

I agree with this article I had my hair natural until high school then my mom gave me a relaxer. She used to be a hair dresser so my hair was being professionally done every week it was long and healthy then I moved out to a different state in a small town where there were no black salons so I just grew it out then when I found out about wigs I wore my hair braided underneath for 5 years. My hair was long and healthy but I just didn’t know how to take care of it. My curl… Read more »

DynamoNatalie
Guest

I get what she’s saying about the work that goes into natural hair. Yes, there is work that goes into any hair, even for those who choose to NOT have hair. If they shaved it off, they still have some maintenance to consider. This is about wearing hair in its natural state, unprocessed, and without chemical straighteners/softeners/etc. Getting up in the morning and rolling out of bed without tending to one’s hair can look a mess on anyone, regardless of their hair type/texture/grade/etc. Once someone decides to forgo chemical processes and try to manage their hair with oil, water, creams,… Read more »

Wambui Wamutogoria
Guest

Here’s the thing weather you like it or not your hair is growing out of your scull RIGHT NOW, natural. So natural hair is for everybody and is on everybody.

Tiffani
Guest
Tiffani

Okay simmer down. I love my natural hair but when I had a relaxer, I only had to apply it every 4 months. I NEVER wrapped my hair at night. I put it onto a pony tail and often slept with it out. It was an easy hair life.

Naj
Guest
Naj

Whew. I think I remember commenting on this very article a while ago, and at the time, I was caught up in the moment (“natural hair isn’t for everybody” are like trigger words to me, I admit..) and skimmed through before I made a comment. Now that I took the time to really read it through, I still hold on to my belief that natural hair is for everybody (I equate saying it’s not to saying something like “Brown skin isn’t for everyone,” but that’s just how my mind is wired, not something that I believe everybody else should think… Read more »

rachelle
Guest
rachelle

Where your hair however you want geez, who cares and if you do care how others wear it .…Why?

gina
Guest
gina

I think natural hair is a thin/pretty woman’s game. If you are pretty enough, you can and will be gorgeous bald or with a ‘fro. If you are old and overweight, like me, the straighter hair works better. I know I feel a thousand times prettier with a weave in than my short natural hair that won’t hold any kind of pattern for longer than 5 minutes. I can’t wear that to work!! You cute young girls enjoy that hair freedom! It’s just not feasible for everyone.

Curly hair don’t car
Guest
Curly hair don’t car

Chopped my hair off. All my hair needs is sprits of water (which curls it) and hair moisturizer (which keeps it from getting dry). Easiest thing ever, lol. I didn’t really anything from when my hair was permed. Don’t assume everyone’s experience will be the same.

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