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Is There Room for Relaxed Women in the Natural Hair Community?

Avatar • Aug 29, 2011

natural hair, natural haircare, natural hair care

Britt says;
I’ve been following your blog for a while now and I must say I’m quite the fan. I feel like I have a different perspective on things, because unlike (I’m assuming) most of your readers, I was natural first THEN relaxed. Now I’m not talking I was natural for a few years, no, I was natural for 18 years until college made me take the relaxer plunge. I don’t regret my decision and I think it’s very much a person’s choice. When I was natural, there certainly weren’t the amount of resources and it makes me smile to see the proliferation of the natural hair community. As someone who was rampantly teased for my “naps” and “fuzzy hair” and who longed for straight sleek relaxed hair like all the other girls in my class, it’s nice to see other black women embracing their curls and kinks.

Growing up, natural hair was always an option. My mom never believed in relaxing my hair and BC’ed her relaxer when I was 7. What I guess I want to address is the supposed ‘societal divide’ between relaxed women and natural women. I’m sure you have a decent amount of relaxed readers and I think it’s equally important to note that hair tips are hair tips. Basic hair care is the same (shampoo, deep condition, moisturize and seal) and I really don’t think there should be such a divide between relaxed and natural women. We all have hair, it all has needs.

Having a good helping of both experiences (I’ve been relaxed about 5 years), I think it would do more good for relaxed women to read natural hair blogs. There’s more than being a slave to a salon or a flat iron. In fact, since I’ve been following natural hair blogs my relaxed hair has FLOURISHED. I started at SL last year and I’m right on the cusp of BSL now. Mastering a braidout, twistout, bantu knot out can really and truly help relaxed hair too. Although it seems that society strives to stress the differences between relaxed hair and natural hair, I think it’s important to focus on healthy hair habits and what works best for each person, relaxed, natural, or transitioning.

Ladies, do you think there’s room for relaxed women in the natural hair community? And do you think there should be more of a focus on healthy hair as opposed to natural hair? Share your thoughts.

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K.
K.
9 years ago

I’m not sure I understand the question. What divide between natural and relaxed women???

There are plenty of hair boards, blogs, YT gurus, and resources for both natural and relaxed hair. My hair styling techniques and regimen differ now that I’m natural from when I was relaxed…because my hair is completely different now. A blog merely focused on healthy hair wouldn’t be sufficient for me.

Godiva
Godiva
9 years ago

I respectfully say “no.” There are plenty of hair boards, blogs, and forums for relaxed hair women. Everywhere that I go there are plenty of depictions of relaxed hair, of straight hair, I like a space in which it is free of that. A space in which women who wear their hair in it’s natural state can see other women with beautiful kinks, coils, napps, and curls. A space in which I do not need to defend my hair. I see the similarities with people who chose to be vegan or vegetarian. I personally am not, but I also think… Read more »

a
a
9 years ago
Reply to  Godiva

Now, it’s funny, my knee jerk reaction was to say, “No”, they have their own spaces, just as you did. But then, I find it interesting that you mention vegetarianism and veganism. I am a vegetarian, and I always try to be extra welcoming of meat eaters — as long as they’re respectful, which most are. I don’t need to convert them, but I don’t want people seeing my lifestyle as strange and alternative, and asking me ish like “Oh come on, don’t you really want some bacon?” One of the coolest things I’ve ever seen is when a non-veggie friend has… Read more »

Sieta
9 years ago
Reply to  Godiva

+1

JJ
JJ
9 years ago

Heavy question even though it is asked very delicately. I do not want to say NO there isn’t room, because there is, but I’m of the ideal that everyone should fall in love with and be themselves, inside and out, that is why I am natural, and it is versatile enough to wear in different textures and ways. So I don’t really understand why people are relaxed anymore. Having said that, there is always room for one more, though I think knowing how naturals can go all Na*i on relaxed ladies then I’d say the relaxed ladies should be careful… Read more »

T.
T.
9 years ago

I found it funny/strange that the questioner said “unlike (I’m assuming) most of your readers, I was natural first THEN relaxed”.

Everybody is natural first. Nobody is born with relaxed hair.

LJ
LJ
9 years ago
Reply to  T.

I’m assuming she was not referring to how we are born. Most of us in this generation and the ones above us had their hair relaxed and then had to choose to go natural. I’m guessing that’s what she was referring to.

T.
T.
9 years ago
Reply to  LJ

Yeah, I know. But I still found it an interesting way of phrasing it.

anon
anon
9 years ago
Reply to  T.

She did assume and not all of us are relaxed out of the womb. I wasn’t until I was in my teens either and it was my choice back then. I have always been natural longer than I have ever spent relaxed and used to go back and forth. Don’t think I ever stayed relaxed for more than two years. I’ve been relaxed x3 so a total of six years in 30. It seemed like she was saying ‘before you say anything, I was natural before any of you’ yeah.…it left a bad taste in my mouth. If nothing was… Read more »

Kadisa
Kadisa
9 years ago
Reply to  anon

Lol I thought tha was funny too I’m glad I’m not the only one!

Rain
Rain
9 years ago

OOooooohweeee… I definitely think this could be a loaded question, with various (maybe controversial) answers. But from my viewpoint, I understand the need for a separate space for naturals especially when you’re looking to transition or BC because its like a mental detox and there is no distractions/temptations of relaxed hair. However the promotion of healthy hair is very important and I feel natural hair sites tend to talk about health issues that can affect everyone. Nevertheless, being relaxed in the natural community may make them more aware of the beauty of natural hair (if they did not know already)… Read more »

TGL
TGL
9 years ago

I think that there is (and if there isn’t, there should be). Maybe I’m the odd one, but my hair regimen hasn’t changed very much. I’ll be 1 yr natural in October (with 2.5 years of growth) and what I do now isn’t all that different from what I did when I was relaxed. My hair was healthy then and my hair is healthy now. Healthy hair practices are healthy hair practices, and a person will have fine, coarse, thick, or thin hair and require certain products and practice regardless of whether they’re natural or relaxed. But I understand that… Read more »

Pretdva
Pretdva
9 years ago
Reply to  TGL

I agree with you saying that maybe you are the odd one because my natural hair regimen is totally different from my previous relaxed hair days. Before I went natural, I had no idea what co-washing was. Now, I co-wash everyday. I also blow dried and curled my hair at least 3x a week when I was relaxed. To date, I have not curled my hair in almost a year and only blowed dried it a few times when I was transitioning. Although my hair was healthy when it was relaxed, it started to split more as well as shed… Read more »

Audrey
Audrey
9 years ago

I’d say no and I’d say I’m not sure relaxing hair qualifies as being “healthy.” Maybe it was just me, but I never had healthy hair when it was relaxed regularly. (shrug) There are boards for healthy hair care, boards for relaxed hair and boards for natural hair. You can visit any you’d like, but that board still serves its initial purpose. You can read natural hair care info and take them back to the relaxed hair boards, right? Also, I think we should refrain from the term “nazi.” How about natural hair “enthusiasts?”

tbaby
tbaby
9 years ago
Reply to  Audrey

thats exactly why they need to be adopted by the natural hair community to find out how to approach their hair in a more healthy manner! they need to be shown a better way!

Michelle
Michelle
9 years ago
Reply to  Audrey

You’re simply proving her point that healthy hair practices are healthy hair practices. I had very healthy permed hair and I now have very healthy natural hair because I have always followed a healthy, minimal routine when it comes to my hair.

This is my fist time on BGLH in a while. The tone of the responses posted for what seemed to me to be a question asked with the best of intentions just seems so hateful and dismissive. Not sure I want to be associated with a community which can so callously dismiss another person’s opinion/point-of-view.

Annie L.
Annie L.
9 years ago
Reply to  Michelle

That is your choice to participate Michelle, I hope you continue to do so, I think all social networking requires one pull back every once in a while, just like flesh and blood relationships.

But I disagree about “hateful and dismissive” comments or ‘callousness’ in replies to the OP. Loaded questions will get a range of answers on any board, I just don’t see that naturals respond any differently than other themed boards to certain issues — though I do sense we seem to be accused of it more than others.

Audrey
Audrey
9 years ago
Reply to  Annie L.

Michelle, I wasn’t being hateful at all. I was just answering the question. I enjoy coming to a site that caters to natural hair. I think there may be a disconnect though after reading more of the comments. If a relaxed hair sister wants to come hang out in our community, I think that’s fine. But I’d be super bummed if our natural hair community changed to feature relaxed styles and whatnot. Sorry. That’s just how I feel. And I know that for me relaxed hair wasn’t healthy despite all my protective styling, touch-ups, conditioning and moisturizing. And knowing all… Read more »

anon
anon
9 years ago

The nature of society, views held about the correct way for our hair to be etc etc means that it will always be fraught with a little tension over which route black women choose to take. However with the natural community growing, many resources dealing with HEALTHY black hair period, I think more of us can accept that there are only gains and positives from sharing information. keep the relaxed blogs and sites as well as those geared to naturals and as always those who want to seek the information and overcome the obsession with hair types and states, will… Read more »

tbaby
tbaby
9 years ago

I definitely think there is room for relaxed chicks! I tell relaxed women all the time that they dont have to be natural to still adopt some of the healthier approaches to hair. and Ive been natural for alittle more than a 18months and sometimes i think of going back relaxed just because it is more convenient but i know that i would continue with the natural regimens and techniques and supplies my hair will or would be a lot better off. and i wouldnt feel bad for going back relaxed you have to do whats best for you. NO… Read more »

Keisha
Keisha
9 years ago

I think that if relaxed ladies took the time and care that natural ladies do when caring for our hair and bodies then there would be no divide. The OP seems to understand the need to clean, condition, moisturize and seal which are the basics, but in my circle of friends the relaxed ones seem to be clueless. When there is hair discussion they seem to think “it shouldn’t take all that” to maintain hair. If all women relaxed and natural could reach the understanding that the OP has when it comes to maintenance, then maybe there wouldn’t be this… Read more »

df
df
9 years ago
Reply to  Keisha

I’m on a message board where both relaxed and natural heads are very dedicated to taking care of their hair and there is definitely a divide.

brianna
brianna
9 years ago

I don’t see why not. The tips given on this site would help anyone to healthier hair. But what has disturbed me is the comment made above stating “I never had healthy relaxed hair”. Ummmm.….thats because you didn’t take care of your hair. Natural DOESN’T equal healthy. Relaxed hair doesn’t mean it will only grow to shoulder length, then break off. Everyone should be welcomed.

Audrey
Audrey
9 years ago
Reply to  brianna

No, I took care of it, but relaxers were terrible for my hair. Terrible. So yeah, I never had healthy hair with a relaxer.

bigsyd
bigsyd
9 years ago
Reply to  Audrey

You cannot judge the condition of someone’s hair based on one comment. How can you say she didn’t take care of her hair when you don’t even know her. When my hair was relaxed I took very good care of it but it still broke off. Some people’s hair just can’t handle it, like mine. My hair is very fine and relaxers destroyed it.

SP
SP
9 years ago

Being a relaxed girl in the natural hair community is like being a white person in the black social activist community.

Not saying it is bad, not saying it doesn’t happen. Just an observation…

Hope
Hope
9 years ago
Reply to  SP

I sort of get the example but relaxing your hair and being white are different. The first is something you choose to do, the second you have no control over.

For me it’s might be like a meat eater in a vegan community, both are lifestyle choices…

Interesting observation.

AdriB
AdriB
9 years ago
Reply to  SP

Bad example. White people marched on Washington, too.

Oh Bother
Oh Bother
9 years ago

There’s room for everyone but I think people need to respect that a website can cater to one particular group and you can see if that information might help you even if you are not of that particular group. The same tips can be used on relaxed hair but it’s up to the individual to decide whether to use the tips or not. There are plenty of hair mags that cater to relaxed hair. I can’t go to the store and pick up a hair mag and expect to see a lot of styles for my hair type unless it’s… Read more »

Fro
Fro
9 years ago
Reply to  Oh Bother

+1 You said exactly what I was thinking.

Zoopath
Zoopath
9 years ago
Reply to  Oh Bother

+1

Annie L.
Annie L.
9 years ago
Reply to  Oh Bother

I don’t go on LHCF expecting to get a lot of info about short hair that I want to keep short so why expect to go on a natural hair blog and expect it to cater to relaxed hair. Use the tools that are here if you want to. Not a soul is stopping you but yourself”

With all due respect to Britt, the original OP, THIS!

Norrell
Norrell
9 years ago
Reply to  Oh Bother

Agreed. For some natural hair isn’t just a hair style so it’s more than just healthy hair tips. For some it’s about going on a journey to accept themselves and realizing they’re beautiful even if societies notions of beauty say others. For others it’s not about that at all, its about what’s easiest to maintain their hair. Specifically catering to relaxed hair as well as natural hair wouldn’t work out. Many natural hair blogs claim that being without chemicals is the best thing not only for hair but as a lifestyle choice. How could a natural hair blog continue to… Read more »

Norrell
Norrell
9 years ago
Reply to  Norrell

* that first others was supposed to be otherwise

sharon
sharon
9 years ago
Reply to  Norrell

i agree its a journey for me… more than just cutting all my hair off but learning to love what God gave me. i feel ike i’ve been awakened.

curlybeanLA
curlybeanLA
9 years ago
Reply to  Oh Bother

+1 my sentiments exactly.

Alicia
Alicia
9 years ago
Reply to  Oh Bother

Basically. It just sounds like she feels left out.

Shones
9 years ago

Yes, there is room, just like there’s room for me at other sites besides afro-black-natural-etc. I look at beauty blogs and YouTube vids by women of different races. I learn techniques and gain inspiration from them, adapting them for my own purposes. Regarding the question of more focus on HEALTHY hair versus NATURAL hair… argh, sticky question. Instead of the noun “hair,” insert the word “skin” or “body” or “diet.” Healthy and natural should be one in the same. And yes, I know everything natural is not good for us. I don’t eat dirt or drink snake venom, though both… Read more »

Annaleisha
Annaleisha
9 years ago
Reply to  Shones

Excellent response!!! You are 10000% correct on black/African descended women being understudied. The chemicals put in cosmetics and hair care products do not need to be vetted (sp) as carefully as those used for other (read white) women, possibly for other groups of women also…maybe not just white women. You made a lot of very very good points. The long term effects.of many of the chemicals we come into contact with daily are simply UNKNOWN!

Rae
Rae
9 years ago

Yes because at the end of the day [whether your relaxed, natural, texlaxed, transitioning or anywhere in between] its all about having HEALTHY hair. Natural girls & relaxed girls employ many of the same techniques to keep their hair healthy. I think that as long as we can all respect each others choice to be natural, relaxed, etc, there’s no reason for a harsh division.

Amanda
Amanda
9 years ago

the tagline to this site reads “celebrating the dopeness of natural hair”. I mean no disrespect to relaxed haired ladies, but there’s plenty of info on how to maintain that type of hair elsewhere. I’m honestly not interested in features with ladies who chemically straighten their hair. I’m no longer about that life. 🙂 To answer the question, however, no, there is no room for relaxed haired ladies in the natural hair community. Relaxed hair is not natural hair. No harm intended, no shade, all healthy hair is beautiful, but I probably would stop visiting here if straight haired ladies took the… Read more »

Asea
Asea
9 years ago
Reply to  Amanda

I agree with you 100%. I don’t want relaxed ladies to feel ‘unwelcome’ or anything, and this site doesn’t have that tone, but since I too am “…no longer about that life”, our community needs to remain true to itself. I don’t want to hear about stretching a relaxer, or softening your ‘new-growth’. I don’t want to read about the newest “conditioning perm with shea butter” or tips on how to recreate the slicked hair of your favorite celeb or the latest Indian Remy creation. I was in a wack state of mind (me personally, no everyone!) when I espoused… Read more »

Robin Nicole
Robin Nicole
9 years ago
Reply to  Asea

I don’t want to read about the newest “conditioning perm with shea butter” or tips on how to recreate the slicked hair of your favorite celeb or the latest Indian Remy creation.”

PURE HILARITY! LOL!

Annie L.
Annie L.
9 years ago
Reply to  Asea

I love that I can come here and see my world revolving around our perspective’

God! The women on this site blow me away all the time, Brava!

Red
Red
9 years ago

This is a loaded question, but I’ll bite. I don’t think there is anything wrong with anybody being in the natural hair community…the tips are all healthy, even white women growing their hair out to long lengths learn the value of protective styling and experiments with methods that are used by black women doing the same. However, I don’t know why the natural hair community has to switch to being simply “healthy.” Going natural was a conscious decision, I like to see people who are transitioning, natural, different styles that are natural. Not interested in relaxed styling, because I don’t really want… Read more »

Anon284
Anon284
9 years ago

I started reading this blog when I was natural and I still read it now that I relaxed. I still pick up tips and I like the community of different women and voices. For me, it’s less about the hair and more about the community. It would be sad for me to think that I’m not a part of a this community based on what I’m doing with my hair (and yes, I realize that this is a hair blog and blah blah, but I truly see it as a larger voice about what’s going on with women around the… Read more »

S.L
S.L
9 years ago
Reply to  Anon284

You do understand that the positive embracing energy on this on other natural blogs that you so enjoy stems from the acceptance of our natural hair as it grows out of our heads, and the deliberate rejection of the dominant white culture’s straight hair ideal? Without that underlying focus, there would be nothing here to attact you or anybody else for that matter. We’d be back to the world of ‘Dark & lovely’ and the constant remorseless struggle of black women to look like anything other than themselves. That world exists already in the real world and in both printed and… Read more »

Anon284
Anon284
9 years ago
Reply to  S.L

Wow. That tone is a little harsh, isn’t it? If I read you correctly, you basically said, “step aside to some other blog since you’ve decided to do something different with your hair, i.e., uphold white society’s beauty ideal.” Not so much on the positivity… I bet if you polled 100 people on this blog you’d find a pretty even split between people who decided to stop using chemicals because they wanted to deliberately reject that beauty ideal and those who wanted healthy hair and decided this was the route to go. And there may be some unintended benefit both… Read more »

S.L
S.L
9 years ago
Reply to  Anon284

Anyone can read anything that’s available on the internet, regardless of whether it’s geared to their specific needs or demographic. So read whatever you want. Just don’t ask, as this questioner seems to be doing for Natural blogs to change their focus to include relaxed hair, as you already have the rest of the society and media focused on meeting your needs and sensibilities as a relaxed haired woman. I don’t think it’s right for you to begrudge natural haired women the beautiful loving supportive space we’ve created for ourselves in the online world. Especially as it will hopefully be… Read more »

Kesha
Kesha
9 years ago
Reply to  Anon284

S.L. and Anon284, I love this dialouge, but I think Anon284, you’ve missed S.L.‘s point. I think she is saying that all the warm fuzzies you get from this blog and other natural hair blogs comes from the very essence of thier existence. This space affirms black beauty in its natural state and it is filled to the brim with women who conciously made a choice to forego chemical relaxing. In our society this is an empowered choice that resists the (adopoted) norm of straight hair. The strength evidenced in this community comes from the power to define (and style… Read more »

Anon284
Anon284
9 years ago
Reply to  Kesha

Kesha, I totally hear what you’re saying, and I was *trying* to say the same thing (at least that was my thought in my head, but maybe it didn’t come out that way). I don’t think of this space only as a place to swap beauty tips, although I admit that’s what drew me here at the beginning of my natural/healthy hair journey. What keeps me coming back, even after deciding for myriad reasons to relax after 3 years, is the self-love and acceptance and stories and insights that are shared here that have–at core–nothing to do with hair, but… Read more »

S.L
S.L
9 years ago
Reply to  Anon284

Anon284, I get what you’re saying too. Don’t be surprised, lol. I truely understand, and in real life, I’ve never dissed a relaxed woman, or excluded them in any way. But I feel you don’t really understand what’s happening at this moment. I liken it to a cultural shift, a zeitgheist moment in black history in a way, every bit as powerful as the 60’s ‘black is beautiful’ era and eventually more far reaching. I’m studying the natural hair movement as a sociological phenomena, and it’s eventual impact on the whole of the african diaspora will be unprecedented. This is bigger… Read more »

Tonna
Tonna
9 years ago

I think the focus should remain on natural hair on natural hair blogs, sites, etc — especially since it is still seen as TABOO, especially by those who are women of color. It amazes me how confident many women become once they embrace their natural hair…

sasha
sasha
9 years ago

I think it is great that a person with relax hair would be interested in a natural hair blog. Many natural hair blogs deliver a wealth of knowledge, a sense of shared communalism, and depth of consciousness. The presence of persons with relaxed hair, “non-blacks” and men on natural hair blogs is a testament to the great “pull” that such blogs have. As long as the “outsiders” are respectful and not attempt to dominate or center discussions on themselves, I think they should be welcomed on natural hair blogs.

Meshia
9 years ago

I SAY YES YES YES!!! You all who say no are only looking to prolong or even enhance the SOCIAL DISSONANCE and UNAWARENESS between two groups of people. Why not let them into our world so that they can start to understand natural hair its history, culture, and “enthusiasts?” Why not begin to break the stereotypes imposed upon us by others by showing them that natural hair does not mean what they think it means. Turning away relaxed women also means turning away potential naturals. If you are truly a natural hair enthusiast, why not show non-naturals the potential benefits of natural… Read more »

Hope
Hope
9 years ago
Reply to  Meshia

I don’t know if anyone was saying they weren’t welcome to comment etc. Are you saying that we should have more articles about relaxed hair though? There is nothing stopping someone with relaxed hair from reading the blog now though. Would it be a good idea to change the tagline of the site to: Celebrating the Dopeness of Healthy Hair maybe?

Meshia
9 years ago
Reply to  Hope

No i am not saying we have to cater to relaxed hair… i am saying that natural hair practices can also be translated to relaxed hair practices… as the writer said, bantu knots and braid outs did wonderful for her hair… i sub youtube vloggers with relaxed hair who have begun to use natural hair products on their hair. these are tips and techniques that u find on bglh not essence magazine or hype hair. all i am saying is we should not shun women with relaxed hair away. if we do so that makes us no better than the… Read more »

Sue
Sue
9 years ago

I say YES, there’s room for everyone. Women with relaxed hair can benefit from the tips here and their viewpoints contribute to the discussions held here. However, I think the focus of the site should still be NATURAL hair. Sure, there are lots of women with relaxed hair that looks good and healthy. But very few of them face opposition or lack of confidence based on society’s perception of their hair. Women who choose to wear their hair natural still face barriers such as lack of acceptance in society. They also have to mentally transition to knowing that they are okay with… Read more »

At_Ease
At_Ease
9 years ago
Reply to  Sue

+1

There is a difference between being open to anyone commenting (and why not? It’s all good) and changing the focus of the articles on the blog.

Annie L.
Annie L.
9 years ago
Reply to  At_Ease

2nd!

OMSS
OMSS
9 years ago
Reply to  At_Ease

+1
Totally agree!

Aboogie
Aboogie
9 years ago

everything occurs on a continuum. Natural ladies who are not using 100% all natural products, recycling 100% of everything, using modes of transportation that does not hinger the environment, and otherwise TOTALLY accepting life as it is… yall can’t talk. I have natural hair, I am trying to stop driving as much, and use my bike more, I am trying to not use those plastic bags at the market, i am trying to eat less meat.. I AM TRYING. not to say a relaxed person is trying to be all natural… All this to say that we make these choices… Read more »

Aboogie
Aboogie
9 years ago

and i think its a misconception that a person who relaxes, neccessarily opts for bone straight and to help promote a look other than their own natural self… it may be an outcome but come on… if a white chick does too many squats does that remove her from her whiteness some how, wtf… Having a strong booty is not beneficial to her in some way… desiring the camofaging glow of a tan makes the person less proud of the skin their in- i doubt it… while we need to be concious of negative effects of altertions to our body,… Read more »

Chinyera
Chinyera
9 years ago

I think there is a need for natural hair forums because for the longest time there werent many resources, support, and or acceptance of natural hair. I believe women who wear their hair natural, without (straightening with hot comb/blow outs etc) endure a differnt type of scrutiny, than our sisters with straightened hair. I enjoy the support,enrichement,from all women, but there is this “extra” nod or understanding from women who proudly wear their hair in natural styles. As the author of this article stated she herself didnt have the resources availed to her in her younger years. So she should… Read more »

Godiva
Godiva
9 years ago
Reply to  Chinyera

Agree 100% I think if you want to participate in the blogs that is fine. However, I don’t think that the contents of the blogs/hair boards should change to “appeal” to those with relaxers. There is an honest need for spaces like this.

Fadiah
Fadiah
9 years ago

Emphasize on healthy hair. Natural hair forums are designed to help the lost transitioner back to healthy hair. To feel more confident in their on skin with their natural texture. You can have healthy relaxed hair as well as healthy natural hair. Whatever your preference on how you wear your hair is welcome, if we discriminate between the two then that sets us back in the black community.

LaLa
LaLa
9 years ago

sorry..but the natural community is getting just a little to snobbish for me..the need to create our own safe space comes from the feeling of alienation from the hair community at-large..
why than do we feel the need to alienate another sister in turn?

DarLai
DarLai
9 years ago
Reply to  LaLa

Very well said.

DarLai
DarLai
9 years ago

Some of these comments make me cringe… this is why some of the natural hair blogs/groups get under my skin: because SOME natural hair women think they’re somehow superior to women who relax (and even occasionally press) their hair. Some people just can’t do natural hair. I know people with relaxers who have healthy hair. Just because a woman chooses to straighten her hair (by relaxer or press) doesn’t mean she doesn’t care about her hair or herself or she’s trying to assimilate… maybe she just likes to wear her hair straight every now and then. Some natural hair women… Read more »

S.L
S.L
9 years ago
Reply to  DarLai

Then why are you here? Why not hang out on the wonderful all inclusive egalitarian relaxed hair blogs all over the internet. Why waste time with natural nazis? What is it that keeps you coming to feel condescended to? I do not get it and I think maybe just maybe this so called ‘natural snobbery’ people love to whine about is just their own psychological projection.

DarLai
DarLai
9 years ago
Reply to  S.L

Please relax. No pun intended. You should really calm down. I stated an opinion about some people. That’s it.

honeybrown1976
honeybrown1976
9 years ago

I have to respectfully disagree with the writer. This is a free space for natural hair — a place where such women and girls are free to express their trials, tribulations, happy moments, and concerns.

There are plenty of sites that are mixed or solely relaxed. I wish you the best in finding them.

Tonya Juanise
Tonya Juanise
9 years ago

I just don’t understand how someone can put “healthy” and relaxed hair in the same sentence. Yes, some relaxed women achieve more than shoulder length when they take care of their hair but no matter how long it is, it’s still damaged. There’s nothing healthy about it.

Anyway I don’t care if relaxed women join the natural community and vice versa, as long as you dont bash me for being natural and I dont bash you for being relaxed, what’s the problem?

DarLai
DarLai
9 years ago
Reply to  Tonya Juanise

I see your point about the “relaxed healthy” hair, but at the same time, there are plenty natural hair wearing women with unhealthy hair. Natural doesn’t equal healthy, and relaxed doesn’t equal unhealthy.

Tonya Juanise
Tonya Juanise
9 years ago
Reply to  DarLai

We can agree to disagree. Yes there are some women with natural hair that is damaged but you can’t be relaxed and have healthy hair period. Simply because the relaxer has to damage your hair in order to straighten it. I’m not making this up, google it girl. lol So relaxed women may be able to keep it stable through techniques but at the end of the day it’s still damaged because the relaxer is breaking down the bond of your hair.

Tonya Juanise
Tonya Juanise
9 years ago
Reply to  Tonya Juanise

This is why when relaxed hair is wet, it looks limp and dead because thats what it is…dead until you revive it with some curls. lol

Tonya Juanise
Tonya Juanise
9 years ago

And how can a woman who is relaxed have the chance to transition or do the big chop if she isnt in the natural hair community? Shoot, thats how I learned to care for my hair and prepare myself for the big chop. Let’s be real yall and stop the division, it’s stupid.

Janna Bennett
Janna Bennett
9 years ago

I would say yes. I’ve watched several YT channels full of women with relaxers that have adopted techniques and hair practices that are most common to women with natural hair. With this in mind, although certain techniques and products & product applications may be different in some instances, certain things as this writer has said remain the same.

Tonya Juanise
Tonya Juanise
9 years ago

And no I’m not bashing relaxed hair, I was just reading my comment and I’m pretty sure it came off as that way. But a relaxer has to damage the hair in order to make it straight, not lying (no lye lol), google it. So I’m just stating a fact, not trying to be mean.

*looks around*

lol

karlyne
karlyne
9 years ago

Personally and honestly.. no I do not. I know it is harsh and “who am I” to say the 2 have to be separate.. but this is my reasoning. 1st it was hard enough to come to a decision to grow out my ‘relaxer”. I received the o‑O from so many… I would get “who allows their hair to become nappy if they can help it”? I was told in around about ways it was ugly, it wasn’t appealing etc. 2- With a relaxer you can always wash or get a touch up and be back in main stream or… Read more »

ZX2425
ZX2425
9 years ago
Reply to  karlyne

Beaituflly stated and I agree you 🙂

ZX2425
ZX2425
9 years ago
Reply to  ZX2425

I was so excited to agree I spelled “beautifully” wrong…lmbo You get my point though

karlyne
karlyne
9 years ago
Reply to  ZX2425

I most certainly do!!

Monica
Monica
9 years ago

Sometimes I feel like we are talking in circles. I made a conscious decision to go natural and it was wasn’t related to the health of my hair. I think in an era of weaves and wigs, there’s a lot to be said for just being and embracing what springs from your scalp. I look at TV and everyone looks the same. I like that I stand out. So bearing that in mind, it’s nice to find a space with women who aren’t interested in the “slick, relaxed look”. That’s not a knock on sisters who choose to relax their hair.… Read more »

Satire
Satire
9 years ago

Uh no, enough said!!!!

Monica
Monica
9 years ago
Reply to  Satire

+1

shannon
shannon
9 years ago

I think there is room for anyone in a natural hair community. However, I don’t think there is room for relaxed hair information in this community. I would rather not see pictures of relaxed styles, relaxed hair care tips, etc on sites such as this.

Annie L.
Annie L.
9 years ago

Like many in our very wise, amazing and not-at-all ‘snobbish’ community have already confirmed, of course there is room! Please feel free to read, learn, reply, buy — but understand that the entire focus is on non-chemically straightened hair. This community embraces everyone, but our source of strength, cohesion, purpose and outright dopeness was and still is cultivated through celebrating, supporting and flaunting non-relaxed hair. Some have strong opinions on chemical straighteners so you may be turned off by their viewpoints, but c’est la vie, we’re promoting natural hair here and don’t care to see tex-laxing tips or perm ads.… Read more »

truepurpose
truepurpose
9 years ago
Reply to  Annie L.

Annie, I think that you illustrated your point so well — and I agree! All are welcomed to read, observe and interact, with the full understanding of this website’s purpose. Any thoughts (note that I say thoughts, and not people) seeking to dilute or dissolve that purpose are respectfully ask to leave the premises… before we have to call security. Just kidding! 🙂

binks
binks
9 years ago

Actually, I started reading natural hair blogs, looking at natural (and some relax who use a natural hair approach) hair gurus on youtube, etc. when I was relaxed and was commenting in my relax hair state. It was only recently before I took the plunge to natural. But even if I did stay relax I would still been a frequent visitor of your blog regardless because sites like these give great tips. So I never understood the US vs. THEM thing, frankly it comes off as pompous. I learn tips, tricks and styles from BOTH natural and relaxed women and… Read more »

Annette
Annette
9 years ago

Sure there’s room! I need a little clarity on the post. Is she wanting to change the mission of the site, or does she want articles about relaxed hair? Personally, I am only interested in natural hair, and wouldn’t want to see articles about relaxed hair.

Iris Andrews
Iris Andrews
9 years ago

I totally agree with what Britt is saying. I’m dedicated and committed to being natural, but I definitely learned A LOT about my hair through blogs like these and I really believe that if I had known about the different styling options and what ingredients to look for in hair products, my relaxed hair would’ve grown beyond my chin! I think it’s important to remember that natural hair is just one OPTION — but there’s a lotta info in these blogs that can be applied to relaxed hair and even weaves (like braid-outs)!

ZX2425
ZX2425
9 years ago

I’m a 29 year old woman whose been relaxed all my life. I didn’t even know this “world of natural” existed. I recently celebrated my BC 1 year anniversary as of May 2011. I say NO! Only because as a relaxed woman being natural is not glorified as being relaxed is. You seldom see natural women in the “commercial” world of things. I had no idea this side of things even existed. Seeing as we’re all born one way and then make the choice to relax you follow yours, we’ll follow ours. There are lots of tips relaxed women can… Read more »

OMSS
OMSS
9 years ago
Reply to  ZX2425

+1

Indigowaters
Indigowaters
9 years ago

I’m gonna go with NO. I was relaxed last year when I started visiting natural hair sites and upon seeing videos of some of my favorite Youtube gurus go natural, I decided to go natural also. While I was relaxed, I visited various hair sites and learned how to take care of my relaxed hair and keep it “healthy” to the point it grew to bra-strap length. There was nothing wrong per se with my hair except I didn’t want to put chemicals on my head anymore. I got help with natural hair by subscribing to NATURAL hair blogs and… Read more »

Melodie
Melodie
9 years ago

I think that the focus of this blog should be natural hair. Healthy hair tips, as mentioned in some earlier posts, can be used by many — natural or relaxed. Hair is a personal choice and we should be respectful of our individual decisions. I am not excluding anyone, but there are many general hair care blogs on the web now.

OMSS
OMSS
9 years ago

I think some people are missing the point. There is room for relaxed ladies to come to this website and adopted the techniques for ‘healthy’ hair (hair that does not break off, is protein-moisture balanced, and looks healthy). I have in fact introduced this website to many ladies/girls for guidance, most are relaxed. But I think this space should be reserved for naturals. Why? Because many of us come from families or communities where natural haired women are next to nothing or considered a no-no. Some of us didn’t/don’t even know what our hair looks/looks like! And up until recently… Read more »

Audrey
Audrey
9 years ago
Reply to  OMSS

+1

ZX2425
ZX2425
9 years ago
Reply to  Audrey

+1

curlyroache
9 years ago

My, how the mind does play tricks on us. The impression that having a natural hair website is a DIVIDE, is totally a matter of perception. I am new to the BGLH website, and have been natural for around 2 years this time around. I was also natural in the early 70’s when it was extremely popular to do so, and what I would like to add is the fact that WE, black women, have the wonderful gift of versatility when it comes to our hair. This versatility gives us a CHOICE to be curly, kinky, braided, straight, texturized, colored,… Read more »

Pretdva
Pretdva
9 years ago
Reply to  curlyroache

+ 1

curlybeanLA
curlybeanLA
9 years ago

Great question; in order to have a consistent response it got me thinking about inclusion on more than the hair level. Personally there would be no added value; the advice doesn’t go both ways. I wouldn’t glean anything from an article on healthy care or products for relaxed hair. None of my products are/were the same and probably for good reason…there were no good products for relaxed hair 17 years ago! The natural hair ladies have done wonders in this area *shout out*. I don’t read anyone is denying access to information or from commenting but if the reader is asking… Read more »

Keneesha
9 years ago

As a new natural I think there needs to remain a separation between natural and relaxed sites because of the simple fact that when I decided to go natural, these hair specific sites is what saved me and kept me from giving up. They also gave me a reality check. I’m not against relaxed hair now that I’m natural, I still love the straight sleek look as she called it, but going natural is the best thing I’ve done TO and for my hair. Besides, I never found anything, with the exceptifon of the only person I let blow dry… Read more »

Michelle
Michelle
9 years ago

If a relaxed woman is looking to transition, become more knowledgeable on the ins and outs of natural hair, or some encouragement to take the plunge, then I just say yes. If she is not interested in either three of the aforementioned, then I don’t see the point. If you want jewelry, you go to the jewelry store, if you want shoes, you go to the shoe store. The natural community does focus on natural hair as a whole, but not “natural” relaxed hair because that would be totally contradictory to what we preach about relaxers not being healthy. I… Read more »

Misha Nicohl
9 years ago

It is wonderful that the author is able to find useful tips and tools within the natural hair community which are beneficial to her relaxed hair. Similar to the number of subscribers to the BGLH blog, FB and Twitter pages, I am sure there are just as many hair journey stories in which women decided to transition for a myriad of reasons (i.e. damaged hair, desire to discover natural hair texture, health and/or lifestyle) no one reason better than or worse than the other. I disagree with the author, ‘hair tips are hair tips’ for I can attest to the fact… Read more »

Eboni
Eboni
9 years ago

It’s all about what the readers here can and cannot relate to.

When I pull up this website, I ALWAYS look forward to seeing beautiful women with curls. More recently I’ve been even more excited about seeing women with locs as well — which is awesome. I’m not going to say that relaxed women should be “shunned from society”, but we have FINALLY found a place/places where gorgeous NATURAL curls/hair is EMBRACED!! Why not keep that going? This website (among others) a nice refresher from the many relaxed looks we see in the media today.

If it ain’t broke don’t fix it.

foxyr
foxyr
9 years ago

My hair routine is significantly different as a natural versus when I had relaxed hair. Therefore, blogs that place the focus on healthy natural hair is valuable to me. My natural hair is 2x drier than my relaxed strands and very curly, so I have to style my hair differently. Also, it nice to hear other natural ladies talk about their hair issues because it may help me solve some of my hair issues in the process. Though, I am sure that many relaxed women can benefit from reading natural hair blogs, I think we should still keep the focus… Read more »

Tsotso
Tsotso
9 years ago
Reply to  foxyr

I haven’t seen many if any sites for black women with Natural hair blogs…I have only found blogs for naturals which is what prompted me to go natural! All the support and understanding was wonderful…Can you recommend some of these plenty of places that relaxed hair can go for advice? I know many of my friends and family who are still relaxing would appreciate it.

Taneica
9 years ago
Reply to  Tsotso

Sure! I know of two very good ones! http://www.kibibihair.com/ and http://www.hairliciousinc.com/. Both offer lots of tips for relaxed ladies :-). Hope this is helpful.….

Tsotso
Tsotso
9 years ago
Reply to  Taneica

Thanks I will pass it on!

Tsotso
Tsotso
9 years ago

I agree with the writer, Having done both, natural to relaxed back to natural.. another go at the relaxer and finally back to natural, I see advantages in both and I think that it is an individuals choice. A lot of black women fail to remeber that each of us have different type hair. so someone with 3b-4b hair will have an easier time going natural than people with zig zag curl patterns that hasn’t even been “typed” with a label. For those, a relaxer (by that I mean a texturizer to release the curl a little bit” Doesn’t only… Read more »

karen
karen
9 years ago

Just as you started your natural hair blog. Relaxed women can start theirs also. I’m sure when you started your blog it was to inform the natural community of different options of keeping their tresses healthy and products to try. Yes it is an option of being natural or relaxed. It shouldn’t be an option of suggesting to you what to write in your blog. But to each it’s own.

Ruth
Ruth
9 years ago

Interesting question. I really think so. My godsister is relaxed and she actually follows some of these blogs. She started incorporating “our” techniques into her hair regimen. DCing, oils, she butter, and she even stretched her relaxer for a year at one point after I went natural. Her edges (she NEVER had edges, even while we were growing up) and they are growing in thick now. She uses protective styles for her hair. Her hair is the longest and healthiest that it’s ever been about arm pit length by now. But she is relaxed. I think we should embrace women… Read more »

Angie
Angie
9 years ago

“Ladies, do you think there’s room for relaxed women in the natural hair community?” With all due respect to women who relax their hair (because to each his own) but if relaxed haired women were a part of the natural hair community, wouldn’t it no longer be a natural hair community? I come to natural hair sites because I want to read about and share my experiences regarding being natural, i.e. TWAs, loose naturals and locs. “And do you think there should be more of a focus on healthy hair as opposed to natural hair? Share your thoughts.” There is a focus on… Read more »

Renae
Renae
9 years ago
Reply to  Angie

I agree wholeheartedly. With all due respect to all sisters, but natural sites should not have to specifically cater to relaxed styles, it totally defeats the purpose. It’s not an exclusionary thing either. These sites, blogs and such were created for natural hair because none existed before. All can benefit from the advice but it should remain natural focused. If you choose to remain relaxed then it’s best to consult with a community of those who also relax. We all want to achieve healthy hair, but part of what you have to do to relax isn’t healthy. Again, to each… Read more »

deena
deena
9 years ago
Reply to  Renae

+1 to the both of you. Naturals are still misunderstood and still need encouragement exclusively geared to their needs. To add to natural blogs advice on relaxing (the bane of black hair care any way you look at) would be to justify the use of the creamy crack. Nothing damages our hair (and plays to our insecurities)more than the cc. Relaxed sisters, I mean no disrespect but make your own blog/forum (and there is no ‘societal divide’…lol).

Barbara
Barbara
9 years ago
Reply to  Angie

Lol. IKR.

Wilberthe
Wilberthe
9 years ago

Straight hair is the standard. Straight hair and straight hair tips are all over the place. So now, a little community has come up for people who’s hair differs from that standard. I don’t think it makes any sense for people with straight hair to then turn around and say that we need to include and represent them in these spaces too! It great that people with straight hair can find good tips that work for them on natural hair blogs, but that doesn’t mean that they deserve to have a big presence here too…

Jp
Jp
9 years ago
Reply to  Wilberthe

I’m sorry but I have to say that you are wrong. Your post is very petty and lacks a broad perspective. “Straight hair tips” are all over the place? Oh that’s right, that’s why a majority of black women have relaxed hair down to their butts…Let’s be honest, black hair knowledge care was once relatively nonexistent..maybe you are talking about “white hair”. I’m “team healthy hair”. I know that this site is a natural hair blog, so I don’t expect to see a focus relaxed hair [obviously], however it doesn’t mean that people with relaxed hair can’t learn from here.… Read more »

deena
deena
9 years ago
Reply to  Jp

wilberthe didnt say they couldnt learn from here but the post refers to someone who wants to see more articles on relaxed hair on a natural hair blog…ummm Im on team no with that one.

SR
SR
9 years ago
Reply to  Jp

I agree, I’m natural and I tend to read both relaxed and natural hair blogs for tips and my friends (who are relaxed) also get tips from natural hair blogs. In my opinion as long as your on the road to healthy hair, whether relaxed or natural is all good in my book. I think the focus should be on people taking care of their hair rather than the division because both sides can learn from one another.

KD
KD
8 years ago
Reply to  Wilberthe

Wilberthe, I agree with you the majority of black hair magazines deal with relaxed hair and weaves. Rarely do you find good articles or information about natural hair or natural hair transition. I am transitioning from a curl softner to natural hair and this site along with youtube has helped me so much I can’t even put it into words. I think its smart for women with all hair textures to visit this site because it is so informative, but leave it as is, for the natural and transitioning sistas. Please don’t change a thing!

Britt (OP)
Britt (OP)
9 years ago

Hi all! I’m honestly surprised about all of the attention my piece has garnered and appreciate all the comments, good or bad. This is one of my favorite sites and to be published is an honor. Ok, to address a few things: I DON’T want this website to cater to relaxed hair. I never said this blog should cater to relaxed women, but that relaxed women could stand to learn from natural hair websites. I think it’s beautiful that this space is reserved for natural hair. I was formerly natural and wish I’d had this type of resource when I was… Read more »

Annette
Annette
9 years ago
Reply to  Britt (OP)

I agree that there shouldn’t be a divide, but there is a divide. Each individual has to make a decision not to make anyone feel inferior. I wore a relaxer for over 20 years, and I never was questioned or ridiculed about my relaxed hair. Yet when I chose natural hair I have experienced a wide variety of negative and positive comments. As much as people try to say it’s just hair, I disagree! If it was just hair there wouldn’t be such strong feelings about the choice to be or not to be natural. Until we deal with our… Read more »

Nameless
Nameless
9 years ago
Reply to  Britt (OP)

I feel like I understand your point better now that I’ve head this follow up post and I agree that some of the relaxer bashing in the comment sections of certain posts probably does deter relaxed women from participating more actively in this blog. I rarely find comments by women acknowledging that they are indeed relaxed. I think the natural movement may ultimately benefit by broadening its support to include relaxed women, men, etc. We don’t exist in a vacuum.

T.
T.
9 years ago
Reply to  Britt (OP)

Thanks for the clarification. Like nameless, I feel like I understand your post/point much better now.

Mimi
Mimi
9 years ago
Reply to  Britt (OP)

I am glad you cleared things up, because at first I had the what-you-talking-about-Willis face. I have locs, my older sister is transitioning with braids, my little sister’s hair is relaxed, and my mother is a recovering weave addict after suffering severe thinning. Since I’ve started my natural hair journey and they have noticed my results, they all come to me for advice for their hair. My little sister especially benefits from the tips about moisture and sealing. I think it is important to maintain a community that caters to the natural hair community, however I do understand where Britt… Read more »

tanika
9 years ago

No their isn’t room for relaxers in the natural community. Natural community have found a place where we can not only feel comfortable but insure confidence in each other for being our true selves. Relaxed women goes with what society tell them to do, WE NATURALS TURNS HEADS WHETHER I BE FROS OR DREADS!!!

Kijafa
Kijafa
9 years ago

Do I believe there is room for both natural.and perked hair? Yes, its all up to what the individual can manage. I’ve work my hair a few time in the last 15 years but, once I see it starting to break I cut it out at the new growth and go back to my natural texture (thank goodness my hair grow fast). My issue is I am very low maintance and caring for relaxed hair is work. Not saying that natural hair is but, I care braid my hair and leave it for a week and be good. I can… Read more »

napfrocurlzgirl
9 years ago

Relaxed sistas should be welcomed with open arms by naturals, especially if there are relaxed women seeking to go natural…we are their greatest wealth of information, so we’d be hypocritical to shun them. Healthy hair is healthy hair.

Quietstorm
Quietstorm
9 years ago

I think it’s wonderful that the blogger has chosen to experiment. She’s only 23, she’ll do so much more with her hair in the years to come. While you were natural for 18 years, some of us were given relaxers at young ages without options. You chose the relaxer. My hair was healthy while it was relaxed and it’s still healthy natural. I think relaxed haired readers might get more benefit from hair care tips than naturals could from mainstream sites. There are many products that we should really stay away from because they strip the moisture from our already… Read more »

LongTermTransitioner
9 years ago
Reply to  Quietstorm

I so agree with you. I wasn’t given a choice. My sister & I were given relaxers at 8 & 9. My hair thinned out & my other sister’s hair won’t grow past her shoulders & her hair is thin also. When my baby sister was born (who is now 21) My mother decided not to give her a relaxer. Her hair is thick & down the middle of her back. So I wish my mothernever put a relaxer in my head. I have a 8yr old daughter & I’ve been teaching her that her hair is beautiful & if… Read more »

KK
KK
9 years ago

Im surprised at the comments. She isnt saying that the site should cater to naturals but she is saying that naturals should stop dividing from relaxers. We are all women and healthy hair is the focus right, wether it be relaxed or natural. I know some naturals who assume they are better and talk down on relaxed ppl. All of my family is relaxed except me and thats their choice, Im no better for choosing to be natural. My decision to go natural was to achieve healthy hair, not to be in a clique of other naturals like cool kids… Read more »

Shak
9 years ago
Reply to  KK

Luv this post. I will admit that even though I don’t have a perm, sometimes I have to take a ‘natural hair blog break’ (at least from user comments) because some “naturals” come across as so judgmental. The discussion, I thought, was about healthy hair with a focus on non-chemically manipulated hair, not a ‘who’s more down’, ‘who has a higher self-esteem’, ‘who wants to look like what the magazines push’ contest.’ Maybe this is just the nature of woman, but why can’t we all just appreciate and compliment our differences because if we really want to go there and… Read more »

cocobakerchica
cocobakerchica
9 years ago
Reply to  KK

Bravo!! I agree wholeheartedly with y’all; the idea is to show that there are options out there, and that one is not the ‘better’ choice. I have friends/family who relax their hair, and it’s healthy and gorgeous. I pass along the home made hair products I whip up and use on my hair, and they work wonderfully on relaxed tresses. I’ve been natural for over 15 years, and it was the best decision for me. Just like I had my reasons for going natural, others have reasons to relax; after all, both take quite a bit of upkeep and TLC. Respect… Read more »

anastasia
anastasia
9 years ago
Reply to  cocobakerchica

+ 100 🙂 When I see my sisters (in the general sense) be they permed or natural, “Happy Feelings” by Maze and Frankie Beverly pops into my head-so y’all know how i feel!

ericka
ericka
9 years ago

First, the model is gorgeous! Second, we are not our hair so to each its own. Finally, relaxed people do not need blogs… they have magazines. Blogs for natural hair have popped up due to the dearth of conversation and knowledge about natural hair. If anyone wants to learn how to care for permed hair pick up an Essence or Black Hair mag. If they want to see beautiful fotos and learn tips about natural hair bglh is here for them.

Kim
Kim
9 years ago

I had my first perm at 16, went back to natural at 28, permed again at 31, and natural again 1.5 ago at 46. In all those years, I saw very few support or advise forums that were geared toward women with NATURAL hair- ie VIRGIN hair. While I understand that womem with permed locks can benefit from techniques used by those with natural hair, it is important to undertand that the two are separate and different entities. Women are going ‘natural’- ‘virgin’ in record numbers so it’s important to not blur ‘permed’ with ‘natural’. I may get a lot… Read more »

ada
ada
9 years ago

you make room for yourself. there is enough space for everyone. I doubt there is an alert that pops on the screen when a relaxed head is viewing a natural hair website “ALERT ALERT RELAXED HAIR IN PROXY”.…followed by a message in white background “the page you are viewing cannot be displayed due to sodium hydroxides incompatibility with our website, please try again after you have transitioned”.. wats the big deal here really.. dont expect the website to start featuring relaxed hair or give relaxer tips on a NATURAL HAIR WEBSITE. but you can come watch and learn or do… Read more »

Taneica
9 years ago
Reply to  ada

LMAO. I agree 🙂

anastasia
anastasia
9 years ago
Reply to  ada

LMAO!!!

TxGirlWonder
TxGirlWonder
8 years ago
Reply to  ada

Two thumbs up! Said it better than I could 🙂

rosie
rosie
9 years ago

Everyone is allowed to make their own choices and I don’t think that just because I’ve been relaxed for 5(out of 23 years) should all of a sudden make me the devil.”

What I don’t understand is, if some relaxed women believe that “hair is just hair and I’m happy with MY choice” why does it matter if you’re perceived as a demon, especially if it’s just people on the internet?

Fro
Fro
9 years ago
Reply to  rosie

I hear that popular mantra from some naturals too. (I don’t agree with it at all because I don’t believe hair is just hair for black women when the majority of us believe we NEED a relaxer.) But I think it is a case of some folks just taking the internet way to seriously.

MommieDearest
MommieDearest
9 years ago

The model in the picture is absolutely STUNNING! That is all.

binks
binks
9 years ago
Reply to  MommieDearest

Agreed! I had to do a double take. Gorgerous model!

Annie L.
Annie L.
9 years ago
Reply to  binks

I was awestruck as well!

stephanie
stephanie
9 years ago

I hope so. I relax my hair maybe 2 times a year and my daughter is 100% natural. We both have healthy hair and follow the same shampoo and conditioning regimen, which I learned from the natural hair community. My daughter gets press outs throughout the year and the heat training helps alot. We have a very busy schedule. I am glad I know how to work with our hair, no matter how it’s styled.

Tree
Tree
9 years ago

I think Tht nothing is wrong with being relaxed…but different blogs cater to different things. Fashion blogs…fashion. Wedding blogs…weddings. Natural hair blogs…natural hair.

Angela
Angela
9 years ago

Yes, we ALL have hair, and ALL hair needs shampoo, conditioning, and moisture…but this is a NATURAL hair site. I’m sure no one is banned from visiting this site, and I’m pretty sure there are many relaxed haired women that take away information, but I wouldn’t want to come here and see any relaxed heads being spotlighted & interviewed. That’s just my opinion :~)

emma
emma
9 years ago

ummm WHAT? Of course relaxed hair people can view natural blogs and websites, why not? As far as natural hair blogs catering to relaxed hair…UH NUH! This is a niche market. I’m not gonna go to a blog about Batman and ask for them to talk about kryptonite. It doesn’t make sense. All hair care is based on wash+condition+moisturize+seal but I’m not going to an Asian hair blog or a Caucasian hair blog for advice because there are differences that need to be addressed. That is why I come here. On youtube there are several vloggers for relaxed hair and websites… Read more »

JP23
JP23
9 years ago

*Sigh* Yes there is “room”; however, it seems the writer wants sites like this one to use euphemisms to describe relaxed hair. I have been natural for 7 months but when I wore relaxers I would NEVER think to ask something like this, LOL! I would (and still do) go where I wanted to go online and read what I wanted to read. No one is stopping the writer from coming on this and other blogs. In terms of the “divide” I get what she is saying but there is not a divide here. This is a site where women… Read more »

JP23
JP23
9 years ago

PS. I dont dislike Ciara, LOL!

Lee in London
Lee in London
9 years ago

What about women who are thinking about transitioning? I’ve been relaxer free for about 5 months and am thinking about going fully natural. I go on a lot of natural hair blogs/vlogs and have found a lot of information but the constant shade that’s thrown at women with relaxed hair does put me off a lot. I don’t hate my brown skin or want to follow the ‘white man’s rules’. To me, hair is just hair, it really doesn’t define me. All the shade, judgements and criticisms kinda make me want to relax my hair and just keep it moving.… Read more »

Delightbunnie
Delightbunnie
9 years ago
Reply to  Lee in London

*claps*

I’m natural but I was once where you were with relaxed hair becoming more curious about wearing my hair free of relaxers. Alot of people who go to blogs and sites like this tend to forget they had once had relaxed hair. :/

As for your hair don’t let the attitudes of others determine what you are going to do with your hair. Just be you. :3

tiffany
tiffany
9 years ago

well my take on this person is that she is easly influenced by others and what others think, because at one point she was natural then when to perm due to what her collegues thought, now she is seein that natural hair is popular now and she regrets her decision but doesn’t have the courage to go natural again and disappoint so many of her collegues, you have to think for yourself, be confident with your self and live for yourself until she does that she will always live for others. But don’t come to a natural hair site asking… Read more »

JP23
JP23
9 years ago

I think people need to be aware of their own hangups when it comes to hair. Why does it matter what people think in regards to why someone is/is not natural. If you don’t feel like you are brainwashed or whatever why care? I trans for about 4 months “creamy crack” and “you don’t love your blackness” did not bother me because I went natural for ME. If words on a blog hurt you or prevent you from going on this journey, good luck with folks you actually KNOW. Do this for you and you’ll be able to ignore those… Read more »

Angie
Angie
9 years ago
Reply to  JP23

Thanks JP23. Couldn’t agree with you more. Deciding to go natural should not be seen as a Kumbaya moment where we all grab hands and sing. Everyone is not going to love each other, say nice things and get along. That’s just human nature. Going natural is a personal choice. Make that choice because YOU want to go natural for you and you alone.

Rhonda
Rhonda
9 years ago

The divide is there because there is a divide. My hair grows up, it defies gravity. Relaxed hair is trained to bow to gravity and move earthward. Up vs down. Boom! Divide.

If you want a site for relaxed hair, find a site for relaxed hair.

Yes relaxed hair should be locked (no pun intended) out of the conversation about natural hair. It’s apples and oranges. If I want to visit Brazil would I go to a website about the culture of Italy and then ask why they didn’t mention Brazil on their site? It’s on the planet…

W. Lotus
9 years ago

While I completely believe relaxed hair can be healthy–mine way–and while I don’t approve of language that suggests non-natural hair is somehow inferior to natural hair, I don’t see anything wrong with having blogs that focus solely on natural hair. Many of us still experience pressure to be non-natural, and we need spaces like this to have our natural hair journeys validated. Many of us live in places where there are few resources for learning how to care for our natural hair, which does have different care needs than straight hair. Spaces like this are important for our education. And… Read more »

KD
KD
9 years ago

No Thanks. You can always start your own site for healthy hair.

Victoria
Victoria
9 years ago

I think some people are taking this too seriously hair is hair, stop looking at this like segregation or racism or classism or whatever. It’s just hair and at the end of the day it doesn’t matter who goes on this site or not, relaxed or natural,this will still be a site about natural hair and that doesn’t have to change.

MissyD
MissyD
9 years ago

This site needs to stick to natural hair. There are healthy hair resources everywhere both online and in person. A woman with relaxed hair can walk into any salon and get advice on how to properly take care of her hair. Those of us who are natural, aren’t as fortunate. We still get ridiculed for our hair. So why should we make room for relaxed women when they haven’t made room for us?

Kel
Kel
7 years ago
Reply to  MissyD

Mmmmm thank you for that clearly uneducated comment. A) there is an overall lack of salons, especially where I live (Upper East Side of Manhattan) that tend to black hair–relaxed or natural, so black women with relaxed or natural hair all need resources because our hair cannot be tended to in the same way as other types of hair; I would think you would have known that since you obviously browse this site enough to comment on a post. B) Look around the internet and I can guarantee that more websites and blogs are dedicated to natural haircare than relaxed… Read more »

Kimberly B
Kimberly B
9 years ago

This post. idek, i just come here for natural hair tips.

Anne
Anne
9 years ago

Hello. I found this article searching on how people are being brainwashed to grow their hair virgin by the “online communities”. I believe this happens a lot, people could be happy or even happier altering their hair, being relaxing, dyeing, etc. And some look better when they alter their hair.

The way the natural ladies here in the comments are pushing aside the relaxed ladies and how they regard natural hair as better is pretty sad.

This doesn’t happen only in the african american community.

Not make room for who didn’t make room for you? Then you’re just as bad as them.

Onia
Onia
9 years ago

I am really going to try to be tactful. I do not give a rats patoot about the needs of someone with relaxed hair. I just don’t. I’m not hating on ladies who relaxed (I detest the phrase creamy crack), but when I come to a site about “natural” hair I expect to read tips and insight on natural hair. I don’t want to know about better ways to baste a scalp for a relaxer or what brand of relaxer to use. If I cared, I wouldn’t be on a natural hair website. It’s great that women who relax can… Read more »

Let's get together
Let's get together
9 years ago

Meh relaxed/ weaved women get the magazines, natural women get the internet mainly. I’ve bought a few black orientated magazines in my life and they usually if at all have 1 or 2 pages about natural hair. Pathetic really if you look at the world which surrounds natural hair care now. I like that fact that I have specific natural orientated sites, sure I have looked at tips about coloring, extensions, wearing wigs. Diversity is the spice of life and all. Sure relaxed women should and already do have internet spaces of their own but i’m not sure reading some comments… Read more »

Kayla
Kayla
9 years ago

I am natural and have been natual for almost 15 yrs. I do believe their is room for relaxed. I say to each his own. Whether you want to go natural, loc, relaxed, colored…to each his own. I am grateful for these sites because when I went natural, I had to wing it. But being natural isn’t the only way to be. So have we replaced the light skin vs. dark skin with natural vs. relaxed. To me we should be able to choose what hairstyle we want to rock no matter what!!!!! I have three sisters (total 4 girls)…two… Read more »

Jill
Jill
9 years ago

I was natural for 23 years an relaxed for my 23rd birthday and even though i love my relaxed hair, i love incorporating with i view as natural hair tips into the way i deal with my hair, after all hair is hair

Lady
Lady
8 years ago

I know I’m late but personally I believe that natural hair is defined as the hair you choose to wear out and the stuff that grows out of your scalp. Everyday we put products in our hair and continuously manipulate it. We considered women who heat train and dye their hair to be naturals, so why can’t we embrace permed hair as well? As far as I’m concerned, natural hair is the hair that grows out of your scalp that you choose to wear publicly without the additives of weaves, wigs and extensions. All that other stuff is not natural… Read more »

Bonita
Bonita
8 years ago

Healthy hair should be everyones goal whether it is relaxed or natural. Some hair blogs just cater to healthy hair in general. i feel like relaxed hair care and natural hair care is essentially the same…however certain styles can only really be done on natural hair and certain styles only on relaxed.

African Brides
8 years ago

It’s actually a great and useful piece of information. I am satisfied that you simply shared this useful information with us. Please stay us informed like this. Thank you for sharing.

Curly Queen
8 years ago

I’m not in favor of relaxers or in sites that promote them. There is nothing wrong with wearing your hair straight but relaxers contain caustic chemicals that are dangerous and the Black community is at the greatest risk of their side effects (which as of yet are not all known). I know we can’t eliminate all chemical exposure but when it comes to relaxers we have a choice.

Markita
Markita
6 years ago

I’ve been natural for a little over a year now, and I’m loving my coils and kinks. Yet, I believe that if I had known then what I know now about really caring for my hair (and not just styling it), my relaxed hair would fared much better than it did. I know that natural and relaxed hair are different, and I have no intention of doing the relaxer thing ever again. But I say to my relaxed sisters, if there is something we can teach you that you didn’t know/understand before, you are more than welcome among us naturals.

Joanna
Joanna
5 years ago

No. Natural hair is natural and I DO believe that they are very different from each other. This is our room, our corner where we can finally relate, exchange tips and talk about our kitchen and our struggles as naturals. Also, let’s not forget that it’s beyond “just hair”, easiness or fashion choice, it’s about who is fully embracing themselves and finding beauty in their 100% selves. Sure, go ahead and take some of the tips, but don’t ask to be given a part of the small space that we have! There are plenty of relaxed hair blogs out there!

Monique
Monique
5 years ago

Hell no . Relaxed is Relaxed and natural is natural. If they want to be included so bad then go natural.

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