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So apparently, all naturals are supposed to hate Beyonce

Avatar • May 20, 2011

So… Wow. I’m still recovering.

Those of you who are regular to BGLH realize that yesterday’s comments clearly went unmoderated. That’s because I went AWOL. I was so disgusted by the comments on the Beyonce post that I literally turned off my computer and left my apartment.

I just couldn’t do it.

When Erykah Badu’s controversial “Window Seat” video was released, I quickly brought it to my readers because frankly, I think you’re intelligent and interesting and I wanted your opinion. I did the same for Wale’s “Pretty Girls” video, which I deemed controversial (and many of you respectfully disagreed with me on that.)

How naive was I to think I could do the same with Beyonce’s “Run the World” video? How naive was I to think that people would respectfully opine on whether the video was truly about female empowerment or simply an exploitation of female sexuality?

No, instead EVERYTHING AND THE KITCHEN SINK got dragged into this discussion. That Beyonce is an illuminati bitch, that she’s a copycat, that she’s really 37 years old, that my character should be questioned for daring to like the song and post it to BGLH.

Um, I DON’T apologize for liking the song. I DON’T apologize for posting the song. And I’m not invested enough in the concept of Beyonce to give a damn whether she’s a copycat or a Satanist or whatever the hell people are saying. (Like, seriously??)

But the vitriol is what was most troubling.

In one breath, we are disgusted by white supremacists, for taking to a natural hair page and spewing hate, or disgusted by Nicki Minaj for saying “nappy headed hos”. In the next breath we spew the same verbal violence, on a natural hair website no less. (Further evidence that some dead protein growing “naturally” out of one’s head is no evidence or judge of character.)

And, you know, I think it’s ironic that people complain when BGLH covers REAL negative things happening in culture (like the Psychology Today article, or John Mayer’s sexist/racist comments). You don’t want that in this space, you say, this is a positive space for “us sisters”, you say. Then, with your next key stroke, you degenerate what could have been a constructive conversation, with the same hate and vitriol you claim you come here to avoid. So I guess you don’t want to hear about other people dogging on black women, but it’s okay for us to dog on each other. Right, got it.

Actually, you know what, scratch that, it wasn’t the vitriol that was most troubling, it was the groupthink. The assumption that all naturals must hate Beyonce. That somehow in a top-secret-natural-code-book-of-what-is-okay it says, on page 1, “Thou shalt hate Beyonce.” What… the EFF?!

Not all of us are checking MediaTakeOut every day to figure out whether she’s in the Illuminati. Not all of us are cursing to high heaven because of “Beyonce saturation”. Not all of us are watching Rihanna’s every move, then watching to see if Beyonce will copy it. Some of us (including me) just don’t care that much!

I fancy BGLH a diverse space. This is clear in the style icons, the video content (Oh, and for the record, here’s a short list of other artists whose music I’ve posted; Lupe Fiasco, Theophilus London & Solange Knowles, Indigo Charlie, Michelle Shaprow, Wale, Blu, India Arie, Erykah Badu, Janelle Monae, Timothy Bloom), our natural bride features, and our naturals from around the world features.

I’m all for reader feedback, but for a while I’ve been bothered by people saying they want this space to be a utopia, and asserting what they believe a ‘natural hair utopia’ to be which, for many of you, includes no discussion of hard issues, no posts by black men, no lesbian couples, no interracial couples, no discussion of natural wigs/weaves and, apparently, no Beyonce. It seems we STILL haven’t grasped that black women are NOT monolithic. We don’t all like the same things and we don’t all hate the same things.

I am open to constructive criticism. I ALWAYS have been. But I will never accept “advice” from someone who is cursing anonymously in a comment box. That is cowardly and, in my opinion, doesn’t deserve my attention. If you really REALLY don’t like the content, send an email to blackgirllonghair@gmail.com. Otherwise, understand that childish behavior will be ignored.

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Chai
Guest

thanks for the honesty Leila, I think the majority of your readers do appreciate and value the content of this site. I didn’t browse through many of the comments yesterday once I read the content of most of the responses, but I will not let it deflect my attention from what’s truly important. I think the true cause of what we’re all trying to do here is of too much importance to let a select few denigrate it down to something it inherently is not. I think it does say something that we have to speak up in spite of… Read more »

Candice
Guest

Thank you for posting this! I have always admired this site for the diverse articles and stories that are represented. Personally I have refrained from posting a comment or even reading the comment section for this very reason. I just hate that some people are that ignorant and negative that they have to share their negative and rude comments as if everyone should believe what they believe! Trust me, it’s not just your site that I have seen a recent rise in negative-hateful-bashing comments. I love this blog and I appreciate all the effort that goes into it.

Lisa
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Lisa

I agree. This is a great site and I love all the posts and attempts at positivity and intelligent feedback but it’s clear that some people aren’t capable of appreciating that. Clearly being natural doesnt’ make you more evolved… if that was ever a question in my head I now have the answer.

Nneks
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Nneks

I totally agree with this!! As an avid reader of this site I too was very disappointed and the words being spewn out for a video?! I hardly ever comment on things or read comments but I was curious with this because I actually like beyonce as an artist even if she is illuminati and all the rest of it, what has it got to do with the video? just a lot of unnecessary diatribe, such ridiculous statements that make me wonder what is going on under the cover of the napps that we all have in common I really… Read more »

Shones
Guest

I’m not caught up on my Google reader, I guess, because this is my first time hearing about the Beyonce post. Now that I know about it, I’ll probably skip over it. From what you described, maturity and self-control is really under-rated these days, isn’t it… Leila, I can only speak for myself here: I like your blog. You can post whatever you want — because it’s your blog! If something ever comes up that I don’t really like, I just hit my nifty “Next” button. I recommend that others start doing the same. Just because we *can* say something… Read more »

Jc
Guest

I so agree Shones, Leila it is your blog, post whatever you want! I think you do need to keep discussions on track by moderating the crazy stuff out (seriously some stuff that was said was asylum crazy)!

The bigger the star, the more crazy it attracts. This applies to Beyonce as much as it applies to BGLH.

Shones said it best, just because we can say something really does not mean that we should.

Candice
Guest

AND.… I LOVE Beyonce!!! 😛

Lisa
Guest
Lisa

ditto!

NinaG
Guest
NinaG

I love when bloggers vent…shows that you’re human too (which I think some people don’t realize). Anyways I didn’t really follow the Beyonce post but I’m not surprised — whenever Beyonce is brought up, you will get a lot craziness b/c she is pretty popular. I’m not a Beyonce fan and I don’t look at Beyonce as a creator, she is a performer and is great at that. But I truly lol’d at this Beyonce birther movement…it’s not that serious. I do respect those comments who did criticize (positively and negatively) the messages she sends in her music and videos… Read more »

AC
Guest
AC

Hence why I have sworn off of hair care forums and reading comments on blogs. It’s sad when a blogger tries to create a positive atmosphere for everyone but more than a few bad apples spoil the bunch. It’s sad that I have come to the conclusion that I can not involve myself in discussions on hair care sites because on more than one occasion it has led to loss of self confidence, feeling belittled and attacked by others. I appreciate your honesty and I am glad you made this post. Maybe more people will become more aware of their… Read more »

Lisa
Guest
Lisa

THANK YOU!!! I may have been the only person to post a positive comment about Beyonce as a black woman trying to do her thing and was appalled to see how everyone else bashed her, hitting below the belt an saying absurd things that are clearly not true. I was ready to dismiss everyone on this website as haters but your assessment of the situation is much more poignant so all I have to say is … AGREED!

ejmillie
Guest
ejmillie

*applauds*

SNM
Guest
SNM

U Better Say That!! applauds.…

LEX
Guest
LEX

I felt the same way too
It’s like people GO OUT THERE WAY TO INSULT THIS WOMEN.
I feel bad for her people said they are tired of seeing her but it’s not her fault she is stalked by the paparazzi when she does takes her breaks.
Some of these women are such hypocrites on this site.

Ms.J
Guest
Ms.J

Whenever I see a post about Beyonce I don’t even bother reading the comments, because anything with Beyonce people are going to take the opportunity to bash her. Beyonce is not perfect, she makes mistakes just like everyone else. However the thing with celebrites is we put expectations on them that we wouldn’t dare put on ourselves. What’s so funny to me is that people try to bash her through moral smoke screens.

julia
Guest

I like that song, I like Beyonce just fine, and I like this blog.

You keep doing what you feel. Stand your ground and let the haters hate.

~

ashleymichelle
Guest
ashleymichelle

Thank you for posting this. But let me also say do not take the comments on the beyonce post personally. Almost every website I go to whether its a celeb gossip blog, hair blog whatever Beyonce ALWAYS stirs people up…you have the crazy stans and then you have the people who detest her. I find the comments hilarious honestly. Everyone has different opinions..I personally don’t like beyonce & haven’t since her first album which was the best in my opinion. I believe everyone has the right to voice how they feel but people cross the line when they get nasty… Read more »

Meshia
Guest
Meshia

I agree. I don’t usually post on here but, I think the author took peoples comments about Beyonce too personal. Some people like her some people don’t. If you are going to put up her video, then expect to have her fans comment and people who don’t like her comment. Some people feels shes a copycat, satanist, all her videos are skanky blah blah blah. You can’t be mad a people for feeeling that way.… But seriously? Out of all the controversial post and outrageous comments that has been on your blog, this is the one that sent you over… Read more »

Meshia
Guest
Meshia

Plus, I don’t get what peoples comments has to do about “Naturals hating Beyonce.”

clare kendry
Guest
clare kendry

Yes I agree. I definitely think everyone should be respectful to one another especially you since this is your blog. You shouldn’t take the Beyonce post personally. I understand getting exasperated by the other nonsense. It is ridiculous that some posters- who are blind and negative- criticize natural brides who are marrying white men; I agree that it is ridiculous that some people want to be hyper inclusive and want to limit this great site by disliking serious societal posts. But Beyonce? No. Some folks went off the rails crazy (admittedly I chuckled) but people have the right to express… Read more »

Kimmy
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Kimmy

Thank you. I am one of those Black women who is thinking about going all “natural”, and have loved perusing your site. The women, the hair, all is beautiful, the posts have been enlightening. However I don’t read the comments because, well, of just what you say. And I am one of those people who don’t need a weave, and my hair is, well, let’s just say if I blow dry it it gets straight. And the nastiness I have endured by other Black women has hurt me for many years. I hate it and wonder why we hate ourselves… Read more »

Kurly Kels
Guest

WOW, cursing?! Really??
Nothing on here should come down to that. You left room in your post for folks to disagree respectfully and I really do respect that. I also respect anyone’s right to agree or disagree with me as well. That’s just people… As for the song and you liking it, you shouldn’t have to apologize or explain why you like it to anyone at all. Nor should you cater to a commenter’s content demands. All of this is your own choice and more importantly your blog.

neems
Guest

Leila, thanks for the honesty, it’s much appreciated. And thank you for explaining the difference between respectfully disagreeing and insinuating hate. Sadly, the internet is a place where people can hide behind avatars and make useless and unrelated commentary on discussions such as these. It’s distasteful and unnecessary. Personally, I don’t take it to heart and will continue to ignore it.

luvmylocs
Guest
luvmylocs

good post. your site is one of the best so please don’t be discouraged. i agree we are so diverse in our prefences, interests, hobbies and even how we wear our natural hair. the diversity amongst naturals is something i appreciate and i hope you will continue to post different things here. i mean it was here that i first saw the timothy bloom video “until the end of time”, the natural pole dancer and many other interesting news stories as well as a plethora of hair styles. please don’t change!!!

Ms. M
Guest
Ms. M

Have the comments been moderated since this post? I went and read 80 something comments and didn’t really see any “vitriol.” I saw that a LOT of sisters didn’t like Beyonce’s song, music, the video, or what they were wearing in the video. They also didn’t agree the the song or the video were “epic” or “inspiring.” Truthfully, I skipped over the post initially because I don’t like Beyonce’s music, videos, etc. and wasn’t interested in watching the video or hearing her song. I only went back and read the original post and the comments. Don’t take it personal sis.… Read more »

Ms.J
Guest
Ms.J

Your right everyone is not going to like Beyonce nor should they have to. We all have different tastes in music and we like what we like. But this goes beyond music when it comes to Beyonce. Honestly have you ever seen a black women in the spot light get this much Hate thrown her way?

Stella
Guest
Stella

I usually avoid reading blog comments because I don’t like to have my day ruined by e‑bullies. It is just low down and disgusting how we black people are our worst enemy. I don’t need Don Imus to call me a nappy headed hoe, home girl around the block already did. I am not a super Beyonce fan and I know that a lot of other black women feel the same way, but those comments were completely out of line. As were some of the comments aimed towards the interracial couple featured yesterday. I just don’t understand how people can… Read more »

AishaSaidIt
Guest

Wow, you mad huh? LOL, I’m just playing, I agree. I shake my head at anyone that tries to put me in a box because I have natural hair. Check this, I like the single and probably will purchase Beyonce’s next CD. I don’t like Jill Scott’s single. (*GASP*) And the last Badu CD I purchased was her third one which I did not like. Sometimes I rock out to the Noisettes or chill out to Kate Nash or Sizzla etc… . If I home sick I bump Wacka Flocka Flame real loud in my car. So on and so… Read more »

sarah
Guest

i’m kinda glad that i just viewed the post in my reader, so i didn’t get to see the comments. yikes! Keep it moving!

Jada
Guest
Jada

I, personally sm a fan of Beyonce’. I appreciated the post. Keep your head up Leila. It’s in the right direction. And besides if they are that appalled by YOUR opinion perhaps they should create their own blog. But don’t worry, I will still visit BGLH everyday! Have a great weekend!

Jada
Guest
Jada

typo *am

b.
Guest
b.

A mercy! For once, I skipped a post b/c, well…I didn’t feel like watching the video b/c I don’t listen to much of Bey’s stuff. No shade…she’s just not my kind of artist. Hot dog…I am SURE GLAD I MISSED THE SHANANIGANS! For once, I haven’t read the 30 (thus far) comments above me but THANK YOU SO MUCH LEILA for laying down the smacketh down on this. I comment regularly but I try my best to keep it nice while keeping it real. I APPRECIATE the effort you put into this site and the strides you make to make… Read more »

Ings
Guest
Ings

Oh man, I only saw the beginning of the comments so I guess I missed the craziness that happened later during the day. I actually love this site and didn’t know that the comments could get so negative. I agree with Candice that there has been an increase in negative comments on a number of sites. It’s strange. I appreciate your honesty and the fact that you vented and told people to back off with the negativity. People get really bold online — especially when they can just sign in as “Anonymous”. Hope everything works out. Will still come to… Read more »

sunshyne84
Guest
sunshyne84

Girl you didn’t know any mention of B.….well you know the rest, will bring on the stans full force?! lmao

But anyway keep doing you. This is your site so you set the tone. If people don’t like the content there are plenty others to choose from and plenty free blog sites for them to create their own.

Some people just never grow up, they just grow old and bitter and it’s really a damn shame. And I didn’t even see the thread!

sosoulful0125
Guest
sosoulful0125

Thanks for posting this I think people need to excersie some type of self control. Ok…If you do not like the song that’s cool…but calling her out of her name that’s rude. Personally I don’t really care for the song but I would never call her out of her name, but that’s just me. This site suppose to be sisters uplifting each other, so just take a chill pill

just my two and a half cents

Patricia Kayden
Guest
Patricia Kayden

Leila,

I’m just glad you’ve kept this blog going. I recall that you said in a previous post that you are planning to go a different direction and will be posting less, so I’ll enjoy you for as long as you continue posting.

Didn’t read the Beyonce post (as yet), but just ignore the crazy commenters and ban those who go too far (cursing is not acceptable).

Stay sane!!

TWA4now
Guest
TWA4now

…Not a Beyonce fan, but she’s awesome. Some people just need to mature and I love BGLH then and now.

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