A reader submitted the following email;
Hello, BGLH. Here’s my question (I would appreciate it if you kept me anonymous): What if you don’t like what’s growing out of your scalp?
I am 5 months natural and I big chopped without a transition. My hair is currently close to three inches long. For the first few months after my big chop, I kept it shaved down because I wanted an easy style that wouldn’t leave me feeling overwhelmed. And then I came to blogs like this and saw the marvelous results of other women that had their curls grown out. Since then, I’ve been diligently keeping the shears away from my hair with the hopes of obtaining a gorgeous medium-length by this time next year.
But as my hair has grown, I am feeling very uncertain about its texture and tendencies. Actually, it’s three different types of textures (soft curls, coarse strands, and straight-like frizz) and despite the fact that I have bought products to make it work (even hennaed my hair to get excited about my new journey), I’m feeling rather sad and frustrated because I only like my hair when it’s manipulated with gel into clean curls. Otherwise, on it’s own I feel that my TWA looks messy, unsexy, and… nappy.
I think what’s especially hard is that going into this, I had no idea what to expect. My hair has been relaxed since I was about two years old (I am 23 now) and even my mom can’t remember my natural texture (she told me that the main reason she relaxed my hair so early was because it was “difficult to manage”). But I took a risk because I desired something new for myself. Now I’m not so sure if this was a good idea. I now understand why so many women change their hair; if their natural selves make them feel haggard or unattractive, it makes sense why so many women stick with relaxers. And I’ve considering going back.
So again I ask: what if you don’t like the hair that’s growing out of your scalp? Do you force yourself to like it, or do you just accept what you feel (much like how I know I’ll never like mushrooms no matter how many times I try to)?