Skip to main content

do we hate our napps?

Avatar • Jan 6, 2009

so recently, i posted photos of a curly-haired natural and someone left a comment expressing envy of the woman’s texture, while demeaning her own texture.

first let me say that i am in the ‘nappy’ category of naturals. i don’t have curls or waves. i have napps. nothin but napps but somehow, oddly, i’ve never wanted a different texture of hair. i mean i know what society supposedly thinks, about wavy/curly hair being better, i guess i never internalized it to the point that it caused me to want other hair. (although, i have fessed up to hating my hair in the past…)

but still, i don’t want to discredit the struggles of others.

so, i want to hear it. do you ever hate/disdain your own texture and wish that it was wavier or curlier? and more importantly, why? is disdain/hatred too strong a word? or is it more like mild displeasure? oh, and i don’t know if this even exists, but are there wavy/curly women out there who secretly envy nappy women?

be real about it, even if you have to leave an anonymous comment…

Subscribe
Notify of
guest
37 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Dani B.
Dani B.
11 years ago

I’m a “napptural” girl, and I love the texture of my hair. It didn’t really take much getting used to. I do at times wish I could get rid of the frizz for longer periods of time, but I never went through a period where I had to learn to accept my kinky curly hair. Honestly, Virtuous Jewel is one of my biggest hair envies, and her hair seems to be quite kinky curly, too. Wavy/curly is not the only beautiful hair!!!

DeDe
DeDe
11 years ago

Hmmm.The only thing I have really wanted was less shrinkage and like Dani B stated less frizz. As far as a larger curl size that is more defined, not really. Those with this type of hair I have seen mostly only do wash n go’s for a curly style and that’s about it. No twists, braids, cornrows, rollersets, no nothing. I find this hair to be really boring and I don’t really see what all the rave is about, except that it has less shrinkage and frizz, well from what I have seen.  It can be as pretty as any other… Read more »

Amber
Amber
11 years ago

Well, my sisters have Wavy hair and I happened to get “the short end of the stick”. It frustrates me from time to time, but I’d rather deal with it then to ruin my scalp with harmful chemicals. Perms have f*cked up my hair big time in the past so I don’t plan to turn back. I just wish I could walk outside without a hat all the time =/ Anyway, yeah I am going to be honest I hate the texture of my hair. But it’s life.

MedStud
MedStud
11 years ago

I’ve got these tiiiight curls and I love them. But I have a good white friend who has natural Shirley Temple sprial curls. When I went natural, she considered myself and her the same. She says, “You know D, a lot of people like to touch our curly locks b/c a lot of people wish they could have them. It’s annoying, but it’s so special.“
I love her for that.
Besides, I figure if I ever wanted wavier hair, I could always get a texturizer, but can’t NOBODY get what I have, without being blessed with it!

Monet
Monet
11 years ago

I think I’m content with my hair texture, which is in the kinky category as well. It is curly, “4a” if you use that system, but the curls are so tiny! Like coffee stirrers in a lot of places. I sometimes wish the curls were bigger so that I could show the individual curls off more. I think part of that is because of society’s view on looser curly hair being better.  The further along I go in my natural journey (2 years now) the more I love my curls for what they are. I just want to accomplish length… Read more »

SA
SA
11 years ago

When I first started being a natural I wanted wavy/curly hair. And I’ll be honest I was a bit disappointed when it turned out to be 4a (I honestly had no idea what my natural hair texture was. That’s how long I had perms). But I now love my hair. Is it the length I want it to be right now? No. Is it as strong as it could be? No. Do I still have bad hair days? Yes, lots of them. Do I wish it could be thicker? Hell yes. And yet I really wouldn’t want anybody else’s hair.… Read more »

Laurel
Laurel
11 years ago

One thing I’m learning to embrace about my hair is the shrinkage..otherwise, I love my hair and all its coils and napps.. can’t keep my hands out of it (which is why it’s braided up most of the time)..:)

natural-belle
natural-belle
11 years ago

i have very very nappy hair! i have broken many combs! but i’ve never truely hated my hair texture just the lenght hence the braiding weaving and straighting in the past. but i truely learned to love my hair when i didn’t have any after the big chop i went barber shop low with a fade and everything after you go there ou have to love all of you and really accept that we are not just hair we are beautiful women with our own individual beauty. now however i wear my hair i’m happy. my hair is tough, strong… Read more »

msjaim
msjaim
11 years ago

i love my hair textures… the only thing I would “prefer” is if I had just one texture instead of f’n 3… love ur self in your entirety ppl

tnt5150
tnt5150
11 years ago

I have to admit that I get a little anxious wondering exactly what my hair texture will be (im transitioning right now). I have seen a few natural with extramly coily hair and I’m not so sure I could deal with that, but I keep telling myself I will with whatever grows out of my scalp and I am committed to doing that!

curlychronicles
curlychronicles
11 years ago

I think I use to wish my texture was looser so it would appear longer but not so much anymore. I like big hair, so I wish mine would hang more..but I like my texture a lot and I have kinky/curly hair..4a… so I really just want it longer so it’ll be huge and block people’s views 😛

Anonymous
Anonymous
11 years ago

I am quite content with my nappy hair. Love the shrinkage and everything that if offers. Zero complaints. The ONLY complaint that I have is this: WHY DIDN’T I DO THIS SOONER?

MedStud
MedStud
11 years ago

BGLH, would you do an article defining these textures that people keep using (i.e. 4a, 3b, etc.) I don’t know what they mean and it would be a helpful post to a lot of people, I bet.

Rhapsody in PURPLE!
Rhapsody in PURPLE!
11 years ago

I am actually on my second big chop, I had been natural about a year ago and i mave the kinky curly hair. I have the coils but they are soooo small that i have to do styles to define. I often find myself like what if i didnt have these curls? what if i just had kinky hair. Then i tell my self, whatever i would love it just as much becasue it is apart of me, i love my hair and all of you should too even if it has a lot of shrinkage. Stay natural honeys!

secret
secret
11 years ago

i have no idea what texture i have
it is so very confusing
so i just say 3c/4a/4b
and that’s about it.
back is looser but is still nappy imo.
front is tighter and nappy. just make your hair healthy so that it can grow. we will all have thick, beautiful, puffy hair. who wants all the same things anyway? it’s very uninspiring and boring.
http://www.youtube.com/user/onyxanya

this girl, i think, has 4b hair.
the length is amazing. her hair is amazing. has nothing to do with texture. it’s just very long and it’s beautiful.

CoilyFields
CoilyFields
11 years ago

When I originally went natural it was strictly becuase the perm wasn’t working well anymore. I had no intentions of ever wearing my hair in its natural state (the only style I new was the afro). But since I kept sweating out the press in the summer I was forced to investigate natural styles. This lead to a budding romance with my hair. I have learned to banish the myth that my hair is anyhting but curly. And it is not my hair that is the problem it is the products I was taught to use, the styles I was… Read more »

Zey (Anon)
Zey (Anon)
11 years ago

I was the Anon who posted that comment on that gorgeous wavy natural hair. I guess you can call me a hypocrite of some sort. I advocate nappy hair all day/everyday. I would like my friends to go natural, so they can seee the ish i’m going thru dealing with my hair.  My hair is textured 4BZ or whatever thickness that is thicker than jungle bush. It’s growing long but it’s still very tight. I had a relaxer since I was 5 yrs old. I just went natural 2 yrs ago & it’s beeen sooo hard accepting the hair, knots, tangles,… Read more »

Black girl with long hair
Black girl with long hair
11 years ago

well zey, thanks for coming forward and explaining. um, when i used to despise my natural hair/couldn’t deal with it, i spent a lot of time at the beauty shop. i would come with it already washed and moisturized, and ask them to put it in cornrows/box braids/whatever. it was a good use of $40. maybe you could take a break like that, where a hairdresser (or sister, cousin, auntie, random person who knows how to do hair) can manage it for you so you don’t drive yourself crazy. but thick hair is a blessing! my hair is thin, and… Read more »

Jc
Jc
11 years ago

Zey, I have thick hair and it takes me atleast 2 hours to comb it with a wide tooth comb. I don’t make a habit of combing it, I just use my fingers on most days and once a week or so, I’ll comb it properly. I would really advise you to start to regard your hair for what it is. When white people comb their hair, you never hear that munching crunching sound that you hear when you handle natural hair roughly. You should aim for that silent comb sound, that means that you are not shredding your hair.… Read more »

AnyaPosh
AnyaPosh
11 years ago

Awww…I made kinky twists with extensions last week & I can say I love my hair! It’s tucked away for a month in this protective style and I don’t have to deal with loose hair for a while. I’m so thrilled to be free from weekly washes & detangling 😀

Jc
Jc
11 years ago

To Zey again,  I was thinking so hard about your comments and I had to post again. Believe me many of us have been through exactly what you are currently going through in some form. I discovered forums when I went natural. There is a wealth of information out there for you. I never once thought of going back to relaxing my hair because my hair could never be relaxed in the first place (never straight, breakage etc). I learned to manage my hair starting with curl activator when it was shorter to learning to braid when it was longer. If… Read more »

Black girl with long hair
Black girl with long hair
11 years ago

thanks for the response Jc. sounds like your a hair veteran 🙂 i appreciate that you check out the site! your expertise is SO welcome here!!!

nikima
nikima
11 years ago

so every time someone around me goes natural,i’m like “hmmph, their hair is kinda curly, interesting…” & i don’t know how to feel about that. i no longer worship @ the altar of curly headed people, and have realized it’s a throwback to when i accepted and used terms like “good hair” & “Indian hair”. i’m so over that dumb sh*t! it took me a while but i figured my hair issue is not texture, but length. i love my little fuzz halo once it gets going. i don’t blow it out seeking straight, i blow it out cause i… Read more »

Anonymous
Anonymous
11 years ago

i have thin and wire-ry (is that a word???)
i would like less wire like, but i woudl love thicker.

jaybby04
jaybby04
11 years ago

Super late on this post but I just want to comment anyway. I’ve got 3c/4a hair and I love it to death!!! I used to kind of hate it when I first BCed cause it was a looser texture… I couldnt really do anything with it. I’d try twists and they’d just unravel. So on that note I agree with DeDe, the looser curled hair is boring to me. You cant don anything with it. Frizz and shrinkage are also major problems with me also but I’ve learned to love them dearly!The frizz adds character and the shrinkage is great… Read more »

Anonymous
Anonymous
11 years ago

when i was younger (and occasionally when i’m in a rush and can’t get my hair to look right), i wish my curl pattern was looser because the wash and go is a lot easier when your hair has a looser curl. however, as one lady posted earlier, you can always texturize or perm your hair to make it looser. no one can have my hair unless they are blessed with it. 🙂 i’ve learned to love my naps because they are MINE and they are unique. my BC was one of the happiest days of my life.  to the young… Read more »

Mzbush
Mzbush
11 years ago

I know this was posted quite a while ago and I ran through the comments pretty quickly but I did not notice any wavy/curlies saying that they envy thicker textures. I will go ahead and let you all know that I am one who does. Like it was said earlier, there are so many more options with a kinkier texture. My hair is fine and curly so it isn’t as big as I’d like it when I wear it out. My twists and braids are skimpy. It doesn’t stand up and fluff up like I would like it too. So… Read more »

BabyJ
BabyJ
11 years ago

I would’nt go so far as to say that I hate my hair but I do find myself wishing I had the more defined bigger curls. My hair texture is very dry and coarse and though it is pretty thick, I would like for it to be thicker. I’m not sure if my hair is considered curly or coily or even if there is a difference (I would say that I am right in the middle). Anyway I have found some refuge in the thought that less textured hair doesn’t have the versatility that my hair has. This keeps me… Read more »

RabiaSpeaks
RabiaSpeaks
11 years ago

I think there’s another related issue. Some people with type 3 hair feel that their hair type is superior to type 4s. I’ve seen this within my own family where there are a range of textures. It doesn’t bother me with my 4a/b hair, but I think its a little sad for them. They have so much of their self esteem wrapped up in the smug knowledge that they ‘good hair’.  Personally I think my only issue s with my hair come from length rather than hair type. I think I’ve always wanted long hair, and yet I can’t say why.… Read more »

Nikki
Nikki
11 years ago

Zey, I understand. I also have very nappy hair and, frankly, it hurts. No, literally, it hurts. It’s always hurt me and I’ve been natural most of my life. I envied people with looser textures because 1) I was taught it was prettier and 2) they didn’t have to physically suffer like me. I watch people who can comb their hair out in 10 minutes with envy.

If only my hair didn’t take hours and hurt me, it would be easier to love it more. It looks pretty, though. 🙂

So
So
11 years ago

I don’t hate my texture but I’m not in love with it either. My curls are dense pin coil sized and my hair knots and tangles very easily. I am loc’n my hair now, I feel it is the healthiest thing I can do becuase I Love My Hair!

BuenaventuraAvenue
BuenaventuraAvenue
11 years ago

When I was younger, maybe 14 or so, I longed for 3a/3b hair. Ironically, all along other people thought that I have good hair because I have a little bit of baby hair around my edges. But now at the ripe age of 19 (lol) and having been natural for 15 months, I don’t want anything but my kinky, coffee stirrer to bendy straw size coils. I think that straight hair or a looser, silky curl would look contrived on me. I can appreciate the sleek look of straight hair and the bouncy look of curls but I feel that… Read more »

folamix
folamix
6 years ago

During my natural hair journey, I have seen a lot of blackwomen taking offense to the term “nappy” and viewing it as an insult with negative connotations. I am NOT in that category. I have always viewed my hair as nappy. Here lately I have seen people saying curly, coily and on rare occasions kinky when referring to natural hair. Well, my hair is nappy; it is what it is. Whatever, I am proud of it.

GSoldier
GSoldier
6 years ago

Who told you your hair is nappy? Quit saying that sh*t! Our hair is not nappy. Please before you go spewing a word never forget it’s origins -.-

Toni
Toni
6 years ago

Ah “nappy” hair and its negative connotations. Everyone can do their own thing, obviously, but I had to stop using “nappy” as an adjective for my hair. Why? It’s always been synonymous with bad. If I was going to grow and keep this hair, I had to associate it with something good. Yes, I am one of those people who does not refer to hair as nappy as a way to consistently maintain my new found way of thinking. Especially since the Black American community down (The South) here still sees natural hair as bad and pressures others to “get… Read more »

youngin girl
youngin girl
6 years ago

I have never had a disdain or displeasure for my Napps. Everytime My Mom washed my hair, I would smile in the mirror or pose. In Kindergarten through 2nd grade, I liked my barats and How it clicked everytime I walked. I liked the curl rollers on my hair and I would play in it in class. I also wored little braids in public once or twice and that was after it was washed and dryed. I was nervous about going out with braids(not extensions) but I didn’t have loath and curly and wavy hair envy didn’t enter my mind… Read more »

Tabatha
Tabatha
6 years ago

I don’t hate my naps, but sometimes we are not always Besties.

37
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x

Shopping Cart